(me in Philadelphia❤) 😀

“May I take defeat upon myself 
And offer them the victory”

I recently read a novel called The Bonesetters Daughter written by Amy Tan, about a Chinese family. It is a wonderful story, a real page turner! The daughter and her mom live in the U.S. but her mom grew up in China. Even though she lived in the U.S. for many years now, her English is limited. Her daughter speaks English and does not know Chinese characters very well. Her mom is losing her memory (she was diagnosed with Dementia) and gives her daughter a stack of papers she wrote in Chinese so her daughter can read about her mom’s life as a girl and young woman. She did not have an easy life and experienced a few tragedies and had to live during a war. Her mom is extremely superstitious, the opposite of her daughter who is more practical and grounded in reason. They have always had a tumultuous relationship and the daughter now wants to make it better.

Here is a line out of this novel that I find so beautiful and deeply inspiring:

“I was not afraid. I believed that if I was respectful to both the Chinese gods and the Christian one, neither would harm me. I reasoned that Chinese people were polite and also practical about life. The Chinese gods understood that we were living in a Western household run by Americans. If the gods could speak, they, too, would insist that the Christian deities have the better position. Chinese people, unlike foreigners, did not try to push their ideas on others. Let the foreigners follow their own ways, no matter how strange they were, that was their thinking.”

In the book, this girl was disowned by her family and sent to an orphanage, run by Americans even though it’s in China, that was previously a monastery run by Buddhist and Taoist monks at different points. The building has many statues and carvings of Buddhist and Taoist figures. The teachers of the orphanage are mostly Christian Americans and the one wants to turn all the statues into Christian figures. While I don’t like this idea of ruining or changing beautiful statues I love the sentiment that the girl displays, respect and love for those of another culture; allowing them to have the victory. They are in her country wanting to change statues representing her culture into something that represents their own and she is kind enough to allow it without animosity or protest, even helping them transform the statues and carvings into what they want them to be. I love how she says Chinese people do not push their ideas on others, though I don’t believe that speaking out against destroying statues is forcing their beliefs on the American people. It’s the Americans in this story who are pushing their beliefs on people by converting the Buddhist and Taoist figures to Christian ones, since they are originally Buddhist and Taoist, not Christian. If there were a beautiful Jesus statue, I wouldn’t think it should be turned into a Buddha even though much of the Buddhist philosophy resonates deeply with me.

But I love how she respects their religion and decision and doesn’t feel angry, offended, or wronged, like the statues are being defaced. My favorite part is where she says: 

“If the gods could speak, they, too, would insist that the Christian deities have the better position.”

This is a beautiful concept, putting others first, not out of fear of confrontation, a sense of low self esteem, or anything of that sort, but out of true desire for others to be happy. This is true love. To let others be first and a great strength to not feel that we are being put out or walked all over or being degraded. Also, i love the display of non attachment here. They are not attached to their statues or their religion or culture. They do not overly identify with any of it even if they appreciate and celebrate it. They do not feel destroyed when their possessions are destroyed and do not feel cheated or offended when their culture or religion is questioned, criticized, or trumped\overpowered by another, even though the Americans are on the Chinese people’s turf.

 I am an Atheist and do not believe in anything supernatural, no gods or ghosts or other spirits, not the afterlife or anything of that sort…I don’t believe in Karma in a spiritual sense or psychics or astrology…I’m skeptic as can be but am not offended by religious statues or music or messages and in fact, often am inspired by them. I have no problem with psychic shops or stores of crystals and potions and stuff.  I don’t mind people praying for me or wearing cross or Jesus pendants or saying “God bless..” or “Merry Christmas…” Many Atheists I meet both online and off, have this idea that Atheism = Anti religion or should entail hostility for religion or gods and\or those who believe in them. But to me that is absolutely ridiculous. Religion itself is not the problem; it’s when people begin to force it on others and use it to interfere with others that it becomes a serious problem. Look at all the religious people who kill in the name of religion or their god\s. But look at all the ones who never kill or use their religion as a weapon against others. Why allow the murderous ones to represent the whole lot of them?

My post here isn’t even just about accepting other religious beliefs but about offering the victory in general, even in seemingly trivial situations. This life can be so much easier and more peaceful when we let things slide that really aren’t important. So what if someone looks at us the wrong way, cuts us off in traffic, abrupty brushes by us on a crowded street, takes credit for something that is our idea, copies our style…??? In general, I’m very easy going but even I don’t always live up to this sentiment. Especially in interactions with my sister.

We have “opposing” personalities. I’m playful; she’s very serious. I’m dirty minded and she’s all proper. I think risque jokes are hilarious and she’s appalled. To me, most things are trivial but to her, one little mishap or problem is the end of the world. And sometimes I give into arguments with her instead of letting it slide. It ends up with her screaming and cursing me out and me saying little, dumb, uncalled for things back that only fuel her fury. And she carries the grudge long after I’m completely over it. The point is, who cares who is right? Let’s let others be right even when they aren’t (maybe not in every case! some things are important to speak up about). Let them take the credit, sling insults, have their way…it’s really not important. 

https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/2015/02/25/offering-the-victory-universal-love-3/

(this one isn’t mine!)

It’s beautiful how in the story the young girl extends her love to the Christian god and validates the beliefs of both cultures, American Christians & Chinese polytheism. It’s true, not all differences in religious or other beliefs can be reconciled. Some just blantly oppose each other.

Even though there are opposing beliefs though, we do not have to oppose each other.  

Much love & light to you, always! ❤😍😀

xoxo Kim