(That dark spot under my eye is a sunspot/beauty mark/freckle…I had for many years now lol In some pictures, like this one, it doesn’t look right. But I don’t want to filter it out because it’s part of my face in reality)

Found & Lost 🖤

The skyscrapers
Seemed to rise especially high
On the evening I first found her
Kissing passion into the sky
As if it were their queen
Worshipped
And drowned
In pure adoration

Stars dappled the sky as night continued
Like silvery kisses scattered about
All through the night
No match for the light
In her amber eyes
As they lit up with that same passion the stars did
But were more intense

The city came to life
In the sticky Summer air
Laughter and chit-chat echoed through the streets
As people made their way to restaurants and clubs and bars and bowling alleys
And traffic sped through the streets
And the city lights twinkled
Like lost songs
Playing among the stars

I felt each symphony
Deep into my bones

Finding her felt like home
There was a sense of impending exulansis seeping into my skin
As I watched her move like the wind
And become the night
Knowing then I would forever
Be marked
By a thing that escapes words
Leaving only traces
Of something unidentifiable
Traveling up my spine
And lingering on my supple flesh
Seeping into the pores and tissue
Penetrating bone
Becoming a permanent part of me
No less essential than my very dna

An echo of an ethereal kind of beauty
Not of this dimension
Perfumes all of my nights
As my mind drifts back
To that moment
I laid eyes on her
Taking in every curve of her body
Imagining the softness of her skin
Beneath my fingertips

Standing intoxicated
Devouring her beauty
With the kind of primitive greed
Of someone trapped in a desert
For too long, dying of thirst and suddenly finding a creek of sapphire blue or emerald green, glistening in the dark of night

And there are hints of that sense of belonging
Still dwelling in a place in me
I can’t recognize
Along with that aching burn of rejection
Sinking deeper and deeper into the belly
Into a seemingly endless abyss of suffocating sorrow

Suddenly I blinked
And she was lost
In that one infinitesimal moment
Ripped out of my arms
By the rapacious hands of reality
As my seemingly perpetual daydream came to an end

And I woke up into the harshness
Of what is true
Reverie shattered by a truth
I was never ready or willing to accept
A truth that burns in me with the passion of a thousand suns in the middle of an August afternoon
In the Northern Hemisphere

Now I stand
On a sticky Summer night
That takes me back
To that day I found her
When the skyscrapers seemed
A tad taller, and the stars shone a bit
brighter

Perfumed in that inexplicable beauty
That still leaves traces of her
Throughout my existence
And I taste the silvery
Kiss of the stars
As I catch them in my eyes

Hints of wonder
In the midst of a deep longing
For a thing that existed
Only in my fantasies
But was the realest thing
I have ever known

🖤

Xoxo Kim