Sometimes it’s like someone took a knife Baby, edgy and dull
And cut a six-inch valley
Through the middle of my skull 🖤

(Scroll to the very end if you want to know what happened to me but don’t want to read all this lol)

This post was meant for Wednesday, I wrote it on Wednesday. I was too drained to post it. Then I never got around to it on Thursday.

One moment I’m on top of the world and full of life, and the next moment, I’m suddenly laying there being sliced open by a surgeon’s scalpel.

I’m in worse pain than Wednesday & Thursday. And I’m concerned I may have an infection after unexpected surgery. I’m waiting for them to get back to me.

Here is my Wednesday post:

This is what I looked like this morning, thinking I was all sexy and about to conquer the day ahead of me, looking and feeling like a goddess while I was at it. I felt on top of the world, my body felt perfect and young, I expected to stay that way for the whole day. But the day had other plans and decided to kick my ass down to the ground when I least expected it, and then trample all over me as I laid there helpless and bleeding. I got back up, but I’m struggling to stay standing.

I don’t look or feel like this anymore. Now I’m all battered and bloodied and broken, in pj’s, and in extreme pain. And this is no metaphor! I’m literally battered and bloody and broken. (No, I did not fall in these stilettos, I can walk very well in them 🤣)

This is the kind of experience that inspires me to feel a sense of Oneness with all sentient life and reminds me that I can never ever imagine wishing suffering on even a bad person. There’s not one person or any living being on Earth who I could ever wish this on. Not only that, but I would go to the ends of the Earth to stop it, even if I had to take on some of that pain, myself.

I can’t bear the thought of anyone suffering like this or worse.

This is bitter agony. And I am begging the uni-verse for mercy.

The only worse experience I have had are the migraine-like headaches I get, that I haven’t had in a year, after I found out that stretches can prevent them.

Warning ⚠️ Gross content ahead, read at the risk of losing your appetite, or if you’re a really queasy person, maybe even losing your lunch. 😆

Thankfully, I have a strong stomach and brass ovaries. Because that’s what it took to survive this very unexpected ordeal today.

I walked into my dentist appointment this morning (Wednesday) that was scheduled as a consultation where they were going to just look in my mouth and decide a future treatment plan, and then send me on my way…..but instead I walked out hours later with……

EIGHTEEN less teeth than I walked in with.

That’s right. I had 18 teeth extracted today, one right after the other, no breaks. Totally unexpectedly.

It was brutal.

They asked me if it would be ok for them to just pull out every problem tooth today. I enthusiastically said go for it! It ended up being 18. Actually, some of those teeth were good. But they were in places not compatible with partial dentures. They said the same thing another dental place told me. Better to just have them all gone and get full dentures.

There was one point when I was overcome with real gratitude that I’m a woman because I’m sure no man could handle this. Lol I literally thought that as I was laying in the chair.

The oral surgeon, who has been one for decades, said it was emotionally difficult for him that this was happening to me. I guess he’s especially empathetic. Lol One of the dentists asked me if I was doing ok, and he said he’s the one who should be asked that 😆

The dentists kept asking each other if they needed a break because it was so grueling (it took multiple people at once to do my work). But we all just breezed through it as best as we could.

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If you have a weak stomach, read no further. Here is the gross part:

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I could feel, hear, and smell my bone being sawed out of my head. And they set the bone on my chest lol Imagine smelling the sawing of human bone. Bone fragments or dust was flying all around as the surgeon was drilling away. I warned you it was going to be gross lol (I actually wasn’t grossed out, but I knew others would be)

I don’t know if the anesthesia wore off or what, but it was one of the more worse pains you can imagine. It felt like a neverending nightmare. At some points I wondered how much a human can endure. The bone cracking and then being sawed. I felt every bit of it.

Some of my teeth were hard to get out and were snapping. They had to keep taking small pieces out. It was challenging for them.

I heard and felt it. Unlike with the bone, the breaking itself wasn’t painful, but it was sending severe pain through my head, face, ears, and jaw, and places I couldn’t even identify, somewhere deep inside, places local anesthesia doesn’t touch. Sometimes it felt like electricity sizzling through my face. It would make me impulsively slide down the chair in pain, and they would have to pull me back up.

They had to do unexpected surgery during the extractions to find broken pieces deep in my gums. So they cut me open with a scalpel. Deep into my gums and tissue. I heard the surgeon say “Hand me the scalpel.” 😳 Imagine seeing a surgeon’s scalpel coming at your face. I don’t know which was worse, that, or the saw Lol

My face was covered in blood, and blood was running down my gown. It was all over my face because of their instruments as they moved them around my face. The blood was dripping off them, onto me. They had to clean my face off and stitch my whole mouth up.

My lips are dry and cracked. The corners of my mouth are sliced (it was nothing they did wrong, their instruments just had to keep leaning there very roughly when pulling the teeth out.)

My face was a wreck, they gave me a mask to wear, walking out, so the other patients wouldn’t see.

My mouth was still bleeding as I was walking up a street. I had to stop and spit blood into a trash can in public as people walked by. It was running down my chin and chest. So that was awkward. I was hoping no one would think I was vomiting blood.

My mouth is a bloodied mangled mess. It tastes like blood. There’s bones sticking out of my face. My face is swollen. It’s all tender. It’s hot and feverish, and it feels like a heartbeat throughout my face. It’s throbbing and pulsing. All the teeth in my mouth ache like the worst toothache (I get to keep my lower front teeth, they are perfect)

I had the option of going under general anesthesia or being gassed. I said nah, I wanted to be awake and in my normal state for it. Sooner than halfway through, I wondered if that was a mistake 🤣 Not really, I’m glad I got to experience it. I don’t want to miss a thing.

But I did think “I could have been sound asleep at this moment, completely unaware of the torture.”

Come to think of it, this can legit count as torture, like in a horror movie or book. You know, ripping out the victim’s teeth and sawing off their bones, while they’re alive. No doubt, there’s a fiction book or movie out there just like that.

They said they were amazed at how I just sucked it up with no complaints, no crying, no noises, no cursing (even one of the dentists was cursing. She said my teeth were making her job difficult {she was saying it in a playful way, but it was true} She said “I can’t get this little bitch ass tooth out!!!” 🤣)…

The oral surgeon in charge told me I’m amazing and said he would have never allowed anyone to take that amount of teeth out of his mouth at once, especially while awake, and that he can’t believe I had the guts (Like I said, men just couldn’t deal). Lol I took that as a compliment. He also called me a “good girl” and told me he wished he had a sticker to give me for doing amazing 😆 I felt six years old. Lol I’m 40 years old, and he said it literally the way you would say it to a young child. He seems to be probably 60+ years old, maybe closer to 70 years old.

They told me again as I was leaving how amazing my reaction was. Which was no reaction. I just laid back and took it.

For the most part.

At some points I did shrivel up and wiggle almost off the chair, in pain and discomfort lol One of the dentists put her arms around me and held me during some of the most difficult parts.

They all kept saying positive and encouraging and soothing things, and singing to me and telling jokes, to help me endure it. The dentists squeezed and rubbed my arms during especially painful or uncomfortable parts. They called me pet names and told me I got this. They were extremely attentive to my pain and tried to make it hurt as little as possible and help me cope when they couldn’t reduce the pain or discomfort.

This is one reason I’m thankful I was awake, to experience that kindness. I would have never known that love of complete strangers if I was asleep. It fills me with warmth.

They had such empathy. None of them had this happen to them, yet they understood my pain and discomfort. The older doctor kept reminding them that as terrible as it seemed to them, it’s even worse to the patient.

It was more difficult emotionally and physically than I thought it would be. Just one or two teeth being extracted never fazed me. Eighteen, and with some complications, is a whole other experience.

Some of the pain and discomfort can’t be avoided during the procedures. And some parts are incredibly painful. The kind that makes you want to jump out of your body to escape it. One of those moments is when they stick the largest needle you can ever imagine right into the back of the mouth, towards the throat. Incredible pain just shoots through the face and head. Thankfully I’m not afraid of needles.

They kept telling me to wiggle my toes, and during the especially terrible parts, to wiggle my fingers and my toes and don’t stop and just focus on the wiggling. I found that helpful.

My oral surgeon, the senior dentist in charge, the one I mentioned above, said he knew it was worse for me, but that he was feeling it emotionally, having to do this level of difficult work on a patient. And he’s not even the one who did most of it, two younger dentists did lol

Off and on, I am lightheaded and feel like I may pass out. This is the kind of pain that warrants prescription pain meds. But they don’t give them for it. For some reason, it also gave me a sore throat. My tonsils hurt.

I’m physically hungry, but I have no appetite. And that is unheard of. I live to eat. 🤣 And I can’t eat anything except soft, cold stuff for a week, they said ice cream, pudding, jello, yogurt…. They said heat can do damage to my mouth before it’s healed to a certain point (except warm salt water I have to clean my mouth with each day). But I’m hungry for “real food,” not sweet stuff.

I have to eat nothing but junk for a week?

This morning I had a big appetite but was running late and couldn’t really eat breakfast. I also wasn’t sure if I was supposed to before a dentist appointment. I only had part of an omelette.

Had no idea then that I wouldn’t be eating again til who knows when. Even when my mouth heals enough to eat anything I want, I’ll have no teeth. Lol So this is fun. Guess I’ll be living on soup and ice cream for half a year.

It hurts to walk, it hurts to talk, it hurts to move, it hurts to drink, it hurts to swallow, it hurts to smile, it hurts to breathe. It hurts to live (lol JK, just trying to be extra dramatic with that one. The other ones I meant, though. Everything hurts!)

I have TMJ dysfunction, and dental work triggers it. It’s excruciating and feels like nerve and tooth pain mixed together. The stitches are gross, I can feel them with my tongue. There are some strings hanging out. It’s just so gross. I hope the stitches fall out sooner than later. And I hope I don’t swallow any string. One dentist told me my body would absorb them, another told me they would fall out. So who knows? It’s also gross to feel pieces of bone sticking my tongue once in a while.

The good news is, all my dental work is done!! Two years at that other place, and literally NOTHING got done. They played around for two years. Two MONTHS at this place, and all my work is already done lol (If you read some of my other posts, you’ll know my last dental place sucked, so I left for here) I don’t need any checkups or followup visits or anything, as long as my mouth heals properly in the next week. It’s great to be all done.

Now in a few months, I just have to get fitted for dentures. They said it can be next month already. But I’m going to wait for a while to be extra sure, because if my gums aren’t healed fully, the dentures won’t fit properly, and I will have to pay for new ones. Sometimes it can take 3-6 months for them to fully heal. I’ll probably wait six months. It’s not worth risking having to pay over $1,000 just to have them sooner.

Also, my TMJ dysfunction that I experience symptoms of off and on for decades, may be gone, and no more pain when chewing! I also won’t have shooting pain anymore when I chew because of exposed nerves.

So, overall, it’s a good thing.

Physically, I’m in agony, and emotionally, I’m spent.

The only semblance of relief I get is when I have something cold in my mouth.

Something tells me I can forget about sleeping tonight lol

This picture background is awkwardly blurred out because it’s not my house. I was house-sitting over night. I like blurring the backgrounds of pictures of me out anyway, unless they’re outside, because I like the scenery. But some pictures are better without the blur, and this is one. But I don’t want to expose someone else’s house.

I’m in bed now, watching the original “Carrie” movie with my boys, eating Chocolate ice cream, and guzzling ice water and Gatorade.

I 100% don’t recommend this experience. Whatever you do, try to hold onto your teeth! Lol

This is Hell if ever there was a Hell.

(For any curious people not interested in reading, I had 18 teeth extracted, unexpectedly, all in one sitting. And it’s not pretty.)

Soft teeth run in my family, and I drank too much soda before bed when I was young, so I guess I’m paying for it now.

I’m on Fire – Bruce Springsteen

Xoxo Kim ❤️