I’m getting so used to this not having teeth thing!

I love it!!

All of the changes are 100% positive. There’s nothing at all negative about having all my teeth gone. The worst of it was the post-surgical pain. And that is getting better and better each day.

I love my open-mouth smile and can’t remember when I last saw it!

I think I can eat without teeth. The upper teeth will just be for show and to support my face. The lower teeth may make chewing easier. So they may serve more of an instrumental purpose. (The upper teeth will likely make chewing easier as well, but they will reduce my sense of taste, so I may leave them out sometimes, when eating, and keep them in for decoration 😆)

But I’m actually good without teeth. I look good enough without them and don’t need them for chewing. I realized I haven’t been able to eat, not because I have no teeth, but because my mouth wasn’t yet healed.

A while ago, I was in a very, very deep and heavy depressed mood about needing upper dentures. The way it was explained to me by my dentist what it would be like, especially in the beginning, was very grim.

The image I had in my head of what life would necessarily be like after dentures, that triggered depression, was so incorrect. I saw myself never being able to taste or take pleasure in food again, I thought I would constantly be uncomfortable with this clunky thing in my mouth, rubbing my mouth raw. I did not know I can eat without teeth. I thought I would never taste again.

I was told I won’t be able to move my tongue in my mouth anymore and will have to learn to talk and taste again. The upper plate is large and bulky. It takes up a significant amount of space in the mouth to where we can’t freely move our tongue around anymore. My dentist said it’s a whole process getting used to it and learning to function with it.

He said my brain will have to adjust to help compensate for not fully tasting anymore. He said the upper plate is a large device that we constantly feel and that it reduces our sense of taste but that most eventually get used to it. The brain adjusts to only tasting with the tongue and no longer feeling heat and cold sensations and textures on the roof of the mouth.

We have to be extra careful when eating or drinking hot things because the roof of our mouth plays a big part in detecting hot and cold, and it will be covered with a plate. It can also trigger a constant feeling of wanting to gag for a while. The gag reflex may be triggered by the back of the plate.

Fuck me. Lol

I wanted to go throw myself into the Schuylkill river right up the street. I already knew most of this, but hearing a dentist saying it all like that just hit me hard.

I don’t want to get used to that. Getting used to and settling for discomfort and reduced pleasure isn’t anything good. To me, it seemed no better than actively feeling discomfort and being aware of reduced taste. Intellectually, I would still know I’m missing out, even if I could no longer consciously feel it.

That depressed mood was only brief, and I was happy again. A few weeks later, it triggered another brief depressed mood after my surgery. I was depressed all night, one night, into morning. Then it lifted. It wasn’t the surgery that triggered it but the fact I need an upper plate. I want implants, but I can’t pay for them.

I knew I had to get myself out of it before it turned to a month-long major episode that I couldn’t get out of. It also wouldn’t have been good for my recovery. To be depressed just after surgery can probably hinder physical recovery. And I did not need any more pain!!

But now I realize I don’t even need the dentures for eating. When the depression lifted, I also realized it isn’t as bad as I thought while in the depressed mood, even if all that is true. Depression makes everything seem worse than it is. It exaggerates all the negative things and minimizes the good. Don’t listen to your depression! It makes us see through grey colored lenses. Thankfully I got myself out of it while it was just a mood, before it turned into an episode.  

I have been able to eat pasta with just my gums, and today I managed to eat CRUNCHY toast with butter! And home fries with ketchup. I was able to eat an omelette with cheese also, but I could eat that for a while now. I was out for lunch with a friend, and it was DELICIOUS and easy to eat.

The amazing thing is, there was no pain when I chewed the pasta days ago, at the back of my mouth. It was the most incredible thing!

Just mild pain of the oral surgery I recently had. But there was no nerve or tooth pain.

It was the most bizarre experience to chew in the back of my mouth and not feel the pain I have felt for the last 20 or more years. Even just having food rest on my back gums with no pain was so strange.

I can’t remember when I last chewed something using my back teeth. Pain would sear through my mouth and face and head. Sometimes around my temples and ears. Nearly unbearable pain, except it would only be for a few seconds. That jolt could wake the dead. It would take a minute to recover after the shock of it.

If food just lightly touched back there, which it often did, it would trigger an angry flare of nerve pain. Brushing my teeth in the back of my mouth was so painful. Pain would radiate through my face, head, and jaw. It’s something I got so used to over two decades. But it was still a burden.

I couldn’t believe that I was chewing pasta with my back gums, with no pain. It may not sound like a big thing to anyone else. But it’s a life-altering experience. Just that one moment. The first moment in more than twenty years without pain. To be without something that was such an ingrained part of me for more than two decades. I will never forget it.

Even though I knew my bad teeth and all the roots are out, I still expected pain. I just couldn’t fathom pain not being there. But I decided to try it anyway. I slowly began chewing pasta with my back gums, just waiting for that searing pain. And none came. It was a monumental moment lol It sounds overly dramatic, but to me, it’s a big thing.

There was also no jaw pain, outside of the post-surgical pain, because I can chew in the back now. For twenty years, I couldn’t chew evenly because of the pain. I had to use only my front teeth for chewing. Probably why they crumbled out of my mouth. They were extremely overused.

That often brought jaw pain ranging from mild to debilitating and devastating, usually mild. The severe flares were less common.

When we can’t chew evenly for so long, it strains some parts of the jaw. Some joints are overused while others are underused. This wrecks the entire jaw. I have had severe pain flares off and on for years, and mild pain almost always when eating.

This is amazing!

It was a heartwarming experience. I wanted to thank the Penn Dental Medicine staff for giving me this gift. They probably aren’t even aware of the true impact of the work they do each day. 💙

My mouth is healing so well, the post-surgical pain is mild now. My gums and jaw still ache and tingle a bit. My gums feel cut and sore. But it’s nothing terrible. It’s mostly like background noise.

What a big milestone to be able to eat something crunchy and solid.

Also, I love that FB is suddenly showing me posts by people like me. I did not realize that being toothless or having dentures is like a whole community. I thought it was just something that happens to some individual people. But there are spaces for us.

There are groups for people like us where they all share their challenges and happy experiences and the pros & cons of having no teeth and having dentures. It’s great to see those experiences. And most of what I see is positive. I like being part of it. When we think of having dentures or having no teeth, we tend to think of old people, like nursing home old. But there are many beautiful young and middle age women with no teeth.

I probably won’t take Tylenol tonight. I’m going to give my dad’s liver a break (lol That’s just a joke I like to make because I’m hoping to one day donate a portion of my liver to my dad, who needs a liver transplant because of substance use. Whenever I take Tylenol, I say I hope I’m not ruining my dad’s liver 🤣)

I think at the end of each of my posts here, if I remember lol I’m going to share a random song, most likely an Oldie song, because with few exceptions, that’s pretty much all I listen to

Today’s song is….

I’ll Always Love You – The Spinners

One of my very favorites!! 😍 Released in 1965. I currently have it on replay.

I’ll always love you
I’ll always love you, baby
Darling, return my love
No matter where you go ❤️

Sing it, boys! Lol What a great song!

Xoxo Kim ❤️