Tag Archive | Positivity

I’m beautiful (and toothless), dammit β€οΈ

That’s it, baby! When you got it, flaunt it!
Flaunt it!
This is the Divine Miss M
And I’m here to share with you
Some rare and stimulating insight
Into my cosmic fabulosity
It’s really very simple
I simply believe with all my heart:
I’m beautiful
I’m beautiful
I’m beautiful, dammit! ❀️

I’m beautiful (and toothless), dammit! Lol

This is a post meant for Facebook, and I’m just sharing here.

This is the first picture of me with an open-mouth smile that I’m sharing in SIX years!

This is such a pretty picture of me, I must say.

(It’s a toothless pic, but it’s also very much a boob pic. I may need dental implants, but I certainly don’t need boob ones, as I’m sure you can see lol!)

I would date me, even with no teeth (πŸ˜‚ Actually, I prefer masc women, but I may make an exception for myself πŸ˜†).

I almost considered setting this as my default. πŸ˜† And yes, it’s 100% real.


I was going to post another picture and then a picture of me smiling with no teeth in the comments for anyone who wants to see, so it wouldn’t gross anyone out who doesn’t want to see. But it’s actually not bad enough to have to be censored lol

I considered sharing a pic of me toothless the other day and then thought nahh…then a troll on here inspired me to share this. And I’m glad he did because I wouldn’t have realized just how pretty I still am with an open-mouth smile, even with no teeth.

This is exactly one week after having 16 teeth extracted and oral and jaw surgery with bones being broken and sawed and gums and tissue being deeply cut into and stitched.

(I made a mistake, I had 18 surgeries last week, 16 for teeth, and two jaw surgeries, but it was only 16 teeth removed at once, not 18, whoops! My mistake)

Blocked out the girl’s name because she’s only a student, and this is where she goes to school. I don’t want to blast her information.

My mouth cleaned up good! It looks all clean and clear and healthy color. There are some bone fragments showing, but that’s normal. It no longer tastes like blood. The pain is significantly less, but still present. Now both hot and cold soothes it. Before only cold did.

My jaw still hurts a good amount. But I don’t wake in agony in the middle of the night now. When I wake in the morning, the pain is ok. I no longer instantly reach for the bottle of Tylenol next to me while having anxiety about it wearing off too soon and having to live in anguish til I can take it again. I do still take Tylenol PM at night. Tylenol doesn’t take serious dental pain away but sometimes was taking the edge off to help me cope a bit better. The pain is mild enough now that Tylenol helps at night.

I had no idea I had jaw surgery last week, until I saw it on my patient portal last night. That explains the intense jaw pain. I thought it was my tmj dysfunction flaring up.

It did trigger that also, and that’s why the pain was so bad. It says these procedures should only result in mild to moderate pain. My pain was severe, and I handle pain very well. The jaw surgery was done to prepare it for dentures. I never knew dentures require minor jaw surgery. I learned the hard way πŸ˜† Because I have a jaw dysfunction, it hurt extra.

There are occasionally still electric jolts randomly surging through my face. But I can blow my nose with no pain now. And the pain when swallowing is minimal. No bleeding.

And…I can smile again! 😁 It hurts slightly to smile, but nothing I can’t handle.

Apparently I am lying about having no teeth. Lolz And my pictures of me are fake. πŸ˜†

I’m a big pathetic, lying loser who just wants the image online of having no teeth and having surgery.

I have a mouth full of perfect, beautiful pearly whites.

If only!

According to this clown, Eric Berg, some online rando I never even knew exists until last week, I’m full of shit about having no teeth/tooth extractions/oral surgery. I just want the image of being someone with no teeth and having had surgery.

He sent me a friend request last week and has been laugh reacting all week to all my photos of me and all my posts about my teeth being extracted recently.

He was laughing at my posts before he sent me the request (I did not know what he was laughing at, but my gut told me not to accept him, and as usual, I did not listen to my gut, which, as always, turned out right lol I guess it’s common sense you don’t add someone laughing at every picture of you and posts where you say you’re in agony and begging the uni-verse for relief πŸ˜†).

Turns out, he sent me the request so he could comment on my posts since my comment settings don’t allow randos anymore because of trolls.

All week he has been putting mocking comments and laughing and calling me a clown.

Then, after a week, he called me fake and pathetic and a liar and a loser and told me I am faking my dental work to have a fake image online.

Then, he blocked me.

Imagine needing a life that badly that you troll a random stranger online for a week (and I ignored him all along until I finally responded and he blocked me. I guess that’s what he wanted, to finally provoke me before blocking). Lol There was another man who has been my friend on here for years, who was laughing at all my posts about my dental work also. Rick Quall or whatever. I had issues with him before. I blocked him. I thought it was because I have no teeth, but maybe it’s because he also doesn’t believe it?

Yeah, I just love being 40 years old and having the image of having no teeth. That’s what I want people to see and think about me. I want to be known everywhere I go as the toothless woman. I hope the first adjective that comes to mind when anyone thinks of me is: “toothless.” And I hope when someone is introducing me to someone new, the first thing they tell the person is that I have no teeth and had sixteen yanked out in one sitting.

In my obituary, I hope they mention I was toothless and had dentures since age 40. And I hope my headstone reads: “She was toothless.” That’s what I hope to be remembered for. I plan on making that my whole personality starting now.

I like having to get a full set of dentures like I’m 80 years old (actually, even most 80 year old people don’t need full dentures 🀣 I looked up statistics. The average 80 year old has more teeth than me lol).

I have no idea who he even is. He came out of straight up nowhere and targeted me on the day I posted about my oral surgery, and has been going at it all week. We have a bunch of mutual friends and similar political views and have never interacted before this. He was triggered by that post of me in heels where I shared my painful and unexpected experience. He said it was fake and that there’s something mentally wrong with me.

Guess he got mad seeing and drooling over what he’ll never get to have lol I’d be mad too if I saw this and couldn’t have it. But thankfully for me, I am it πŸ˜†

Yet, I struggled all week with the worst pain I ever experienced that is very, very real. I’m plagued by hunger all day each day because I have no teeth to eat anything of substance, and my gums are still too raw to use to chew something more. Liquids and mashed potatoes every day just don’t cut it. But I’m lying and faking and pretending and making up stories just for show.

I thought he was mocking me and laughing at me all week for having no teeth, but actually it’s that he doesn’t believe it. I thought it was weird to be mocking someone in as much pain as I was. But it’s because he doesn’t believe I was in any pain.

More people than not have had teeth surgically removed. The vast majority of the population has at least one wisdom tooth extracted at some point, usually in youth. Why is it so hard to believe I had teeth extracted and oral surgery? It’s not some big thing that’s so unrealistic and unfathomable that I just have to be lying.

It’s not even major surgery. There are people who have brain surgery, are they lying too because it’s just so wild? Women give birth every day, which is way more horrific than having a few teeth pulled.

Why would anyone be shocked about ANY surgery that a random stranger online says they had? What if I said I had a cesarean-section or open heart surgery? What if I said I had my appendix or gallbladder removed? Would you be shocked out of your pretty little head?

When I was 21 years old, I had emergency kidney surgery under general anesthesia for a potentially life-threatening obstruction. I was taken to a hospital ER in the middle of the night, where they told me I needed emergency surgery. Does that shock the ever-loving shit out of you and must be a big ole’ lie? Lol

People have surgery. You encounter people regularly who have had some sort of surgery. No one looks like they just had surgery either. People who have surgery don’t look a certain way. And my face actually was all swollen, I shared pics. But apparently that was just AI. Lol

But yeah, I’m lying because it’s just so wild and dramatic to have some teeth out. No one can possibly endure that. It’s just unheard of to live through a few tooth extractions, it’s a wonder I’m still kickin’ πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

Why do you think for the last SIX years I haven’t posted any pics of me with an open-mouth smile? Because my FRONT teeth began crumbling out after all the back ones did, and it wasn’t too pretty!

You can even see the new crease that came on my top lip last week just after all my top teeth were ripped out of my head. Because there’s no teeth now to support my face and jaw. You can’t really see it in pictures, but my lower face is sagging because as of last week, all my back teeth are out and there’s nothing supporting my face now.

Unfortunately, I’m very much not lying. Lol I kind of wish I was lying, but then again not really. I would have to be twisted to lie about that and make up all those fake details.

I have no teeth. Just because I haven’t posted “proof.”

I share the details because it’s just part of my life, but the idea of showing what I look like with no teeth wasn’t very appealing lol I’m not embarrassed and self-conscious like years ago, but it’s not something I care to put on display for the world to see. I wasn’t going to flaunt it.

But then, why not?

This is me.

This is my reality.

And I actually don’t look terrible. I rarely to never take pics of me with my mouth open, so I thought I would look worse. I look WAY better with no teeth than the mangled up broken ones I had.

And of course another coward who had something to say but shares not one picture of himself or anything personal on his own account. It’s easy to throw stones when you’re hiding in back of a screen, probably using a fake name, and sharing no personal information. All he does is post a bunch of memes.

It’s probably projection. Fakes tending to think others are fakes.

I show my face, my whole body, the name on my state ID and birth certificate, the name I was given at birth.

Because I’m not a coward. Can you say that?

I am confident and have nothing to hide. 😁

Also, there are free and very accurate online AI detectors for text and images. Anyone who is that invested in me (because clearly some people are), can upload my pics and paste anything I write into them, and it will tell you how likely it is to be AI. πŸ™ƒ

https://deepai.org/ai-image-detector

https://www.pangram.com/

By December this year, I should have a full set of dentures!! They will restore my facial definition and jaw structure and decrease the wrinkles and creases and sagging that my lack of teeth create. And my tmj pain flares that come and go, may lessen or go away. My mouth has to heal completely first.

Then my dental issues, the pain, the recurring infections, the jaw strain, the overuse of some joints and under use of others, having to only smile with a closed mouth…will be a thing of the past 😁

I should have moved on this years ago! But I just slacked and slacked. Then I got a dentist who slacked and slacked for two years when I finally did take steps to get my mouth all fixed up, until I got a dentist who chose not to waste a second and did all the work literally all in a few hours that could have been done years ago.

Better late than never!

Things are looking up!!

❀️

#EatShit

I’m Beautiful – Bette Midler

Xoxo Kim

I’m on fire…πŸ–€ {not so pleasant life update}

Sometimes it’s like someone took a knife Baby, edgy and dull
And cut a six-inch valley
Through the middle of my skull πŸ–€

(Scroll to the very end if you want to know what happened to me but don’t want to read all this lol)

This post was meant for Wednesday, I wrote it on Wednesday. I was too drained to post it. Then I never got around to it on Thursday.

One moment I’m on top of the world and full of life, and the next moment, I’m suddenly laying there being sliced open by a surgeon’s scalpel.

I’m in worse pain than Wednesday & Thursday. And I’m concerned I may have an infection after unexpected surgery. I’m waiting for them to get back to me.

Here is my Wednesday post:

This is what I looked like this morning, thinking I was all sexy and about to conquer the day ahead of me, looking and feeling like a goddess while I was at it. I felt on top of the world, my body felt perfect and young, I expected to stay that way for the whole day. But the day had other plans and decided to kick my ass down to the ground when I least expected it, and then trample all over me as I laid there helpless and bleeding. I got back up, but I’m struggling to stay standing.

I don’t look or feel like this anymore. Now I’m all battered and bloodied and broken, in pj’s, and in extreme pain. And this is no metaphor! I’m literally battered and bloody and broken. (No, I did not fall in these stilettos, I can walk very well in them 🀣)

This is the kind of experience that inspires me to feel a sense of Oneness with all sentient life and reminds me that I can never ever imagine wishing suffering on even a bad person. There’s not one person or any living being on Earth who I could ever wish this on. Not only that, but I would go to the ends of the Earth to stop it, even if I had to take on some of that pain, myself.

I can’t bear the thought of anyone suffering like this or worse.

This is bitter agony. And I am begging the uni-verse for mercy.

The only worse experience I have had are the migraine-like headaches I get, that I haven’t had in a year, after I found out that stretches can prevent them.

Warning ⚠️ Gross content ahead, read at the risk of losing your appetite, or if you’re a really queasy person, maybe even losing your lunch. πŸ˜†

Thankfully, I have a strong stomach and brass ovaries. Because that’s what it took to survive this very unexpected ordeal today.

I walked into my dentist appointment this morning (Wednesday) that was scheduled as a consultation where they were going to just look in my mouth and decide a future treatment plan, and then send me on my way…..but instead I walked out hours later with……

EIGHTEEN less teeth than I walked in with.

That’s right. I had 18 teeth extracted today, one right after the other, no breaks. Totally unexpectedly.

It was brutal.

They asked me if it would be ok for them to just pull out every problem tooth today. I enthusiastically said go for it! It ended up being 18. Actually, some of those teeth were good. But they were in places not compatible with partial dentures. They said the same thing another dental place told me. Better to just have them all gone and get full dentures.

There was one point when I was overcome with real gratitude that I’m a woman because I’m sure no man could handle this. Lol I literally thought that as I was laying in the chair.

The oral surgeon, who has been one for decades, said it was emotionally difficult for him that this was happening to me. I guess he’s especially empathetic. Lol One of the dentists asked me if I was doing ok, and he said he’s the one who should be asked that πŸ˜†

The dentists kept asking each other if they needed a break because it was so grueling (it took multiple people at once to do my work). But we all just breezed through it as best as we could.

⚠️⚠️⚠️

If you have a weak stomach, read no further. Here is the gross part:

⚠️ ⚠️ ⚠️

I could feel, hear, and smell my bone being sawed out of my head. And they set the bone on my chest lol Imagine smelling the sawing of human bone. Bone fragments or dust was flying all around as the surgeon was drilling away. I warned you it was going to be gross lol (I actually wasn’t grossed out, but I knew others would be)

I don’t know if the anesthesia wore off or what, but it was one of the more worse pains you can imagine. It felt like a neverending nightmare. At some points I wondered how much a human can endure. The bone cracking and then being sawed. I felt every bit of it.

Some of my teeth were hard to get out and were snapping. They had to keep taking small pieces out. It was challenging for them.

I heard and felt it. Unlike with the bone, the breaking itself wasn’t painful, but it was sending severe pain through my head, face, ears, and jaw, and places I couldn’t even identify, somewhere deep inside, places local anesthesia doesn’t touch. Sometimes it felt like electricity sizzling through my face. It would make me impulsively slide down the chair in pain, and they would have to pull me back up.

They had to do unexpected surgery during the extractions to find broken pieces deep in my gums. So they cut me open with a scalpel. Deep into my gums and tissue. I heard the surgeon say “Hand me the scalpel.” 😳 Imagine seeing a surgeon’s scalpel coming at your face. I don’t know which was worse, that, or the saw Lol

My face was covered in blood, and blood was running down my gown. It was all over my face because of their instruments as they moved them around my face. The blood was dripping off them, onto me. They had to clean my face off and stitch my whole mouth up.

My lips are dry and cracked. The corners of my mouth are sliced (it was nothing they did wrong, their instruments just had to keep leaning there very roughly when pulling the teeth out.)

My face was a wreck, they gave me a mask to wear, walking out, so the other patients wouldn’t see.

My mouth was still bleeding as I was walking up a street. I had to stop and spit blood into a trash can in public as people walked by. It was running down my chin and chest. So that was awkward. I was hoping no one would think I was vomiting blood.

My mouth is a bloodied mangled mess. It tastes like blood. There’s bones sticking out of my face. My face is swollen. It’s all tender. It’s hot and feverish, and it feels like a heartbeat throughout my face. It’s throbbing and pulsing. All the teeth in my mouth ache like the worst toothache (I get to keep my lower front teeth, they are perfect)

I had the option of going under general anesthesia or being gassed. I said nah, I wanted to be awake and in my normal state for it. Sooner than halfway through, I wondered if that was a mistake 🀣 Not really, I’m glad I got to experience it. I don’t want to miss a thing.

But I did think “I could have been sound asleep at this moment, completely unaware of the torture.”

Come to think of it, this can legit count as torture, like in a horror movie or book. You know, ripping out the victim’s teeth and sawing off their bones, while they’re alive. No doubt, there’s a fiction book or movie out there just like that.

They said they were amazed at how I just sucked it up with no complaints, no crying, no noises, no cursing (even one of the dentists was cursing. She said my teeth were making her job difficult {she was saying it in a playful way, but it was true} She said “I can’t get this little bitch ass tooth out!!!” 🀣)…

The oral surgeon in charge told me I’m amazing and said he would have never allowed anyone to take that amount of teeth out of his mouth at once, especially while awake, and that he can’t believe I had the guts (Like I said, men just couldn’t deal). Lol I took that as a compliment. He also called me a “good girl” and told me he wished he had a sticker to give me for doing amazing πŸ˜† I felt six years old. Lol I’m 40 years old, and he said it literally the way you would say it to a young child. He seems to be probably 60+ years old, maybe closer to 70 years old.

They told me again as I was leaving how amazing my reaction was. Which was no reaction. I just laid back and took it.

For the most part.

At some points I did shrivel up and wiggle almost off the chair, in pain and discomfort lol One of the dentists put her arms around me and held me during some of the most difficult parts.

They all kept saying positive and encouraging and soothing things, and singing to me and telling jokes, to help me endure it. The dentists squeezed and rubbed my arms during especially painful or uncomfortable parts. They called me pet names and told me I got this. They were extremely attentive to my pain and tried to make it hurt as little as possible and help me cope when they couldn’t reduce the pain or discomfort.

This is one reason I’m thankful I was awake, to experience that kindness. I would have never known that love of complete strangers if I was asleep. It fills me with warmth.

They had such empathy. None of them had this happen to them, yet they understood my pain and discomfort. The older doctor kept reminding them that as terrible as it seemed to them, it’s even worse to the patient.

It was more difficult emotionally and physically than I thought it would be. Just one or two teeth being extracted never fazed me. Eighteen, and with some complications, is a whole other experience.

Some of the pain and discomfort can’t be avoided during the procedures. And some parts are incredibly painful. The kind that makes you want to jump out of your body to escape it. One of those moments is when they stick the largest needle you can ever imagine right into the back of the mouth, towards the throat. Incredible pain just shoots through the face and head. Thankfully I’m not afraid of needles.

They kept telling me to wiggle my toes, and during the especially terrible parts, to wiggle my fingers and my toes and don’t stop and just focus on the wiggling. I found that helpful.

My oral surgeon, the senior dentist in charge, the one I mentioned above, said he knew it was worse for me, but that he was feeling it emotionally, having to do this level of difficult work on a patient. And he’s not even the one who did most of it, two younger dentists did lol

Off and on, I am lightheaded and feel like I may pass out. This is the kind of pain that warrants prescription pain meds. But they don’t give them for it. For some reason, it also gave me a sore throat. My tonsils hurt.

I’m physically hungry, but I have no appetite. And that is unheard of. I live to eat. 🀣 And I can’t eat anything except soft, cold stuff for a week, they said ice cream, pudding, jello, yogurt…. They said heat can do damage to my mouth before it’s healed to a certain point (except warm salt water I have to clean my mouth with each day). But I’m hungry for “real food,” not sweet stuff.

I have to eat nothing but junk for a week?

This morning I had a big appetite but was running late and couldn’t really eat breakfast. I also wasn’t sure if I was supposed to before a dentist appointment. I only had part of an omelette.

Had no idea then that I wouldn’t be eating again til who knows when. Even when my mouth heals enough to eat anything I want, I’ll have no teeth. Lol So this is fun. Guess I’ll be living on soup and ice cream for half a year.

It hurts to walk, it hurts to talk, it hurts to move, it hurts to drink, it hurts to swallow, it hurts to smile, it hurts to breathe. It hurts to live (lol JK, just trying to be extra dramatic with that one. The other ones I meant, though. Everything hurts!)

I have TMJ dysfunction, and dental work triggers it. It’s excruciating and feels like nerve and tooth pain mixed together. The stitches are gross, I can feel them with my tongue. There are some strings hanging out. It’s just so gross. I hope the stitches fall out sooner than later. And I hope I don’t swallow any string. One dentist told me my body would absorb them, another told me they would fall out. So who knows? It’s also gross to feel pieces of bone sticking my tongue once in a while.

The good news is, all my dental work is done!! Two years at that other place, and literally NOTHING got done. They played around for two years. Two MONTHS at this place, and all my work is already done lol (If you read some of my other posts, you’ll know my last dental place sucked, so I left for here) I don’t need any checkups or followup visits or anything, as long as my mouth heals properly in the next week. It’s great to be all done.

Now in a few months, I just have to get fitted for dentures. They said it can be next month already. But I’m going to wait for a while to be extra sure, because if my gums aren’t healed fully, the dentures won’t fit properly, and I will have to pay for new ones. Sometimes it can take 3-6 months for them to fully heal. I’ll probably wait six months. It’s not worth risking having to pay over $1,000 just to have them sooner.

Also, my TMJ dysfunction that I experience symptoms of off and on for decades, may be gone, and no more pain when chewing! I also won’t have shooting pain anymore when I chew because of exposed nerves.

So, overall, it’s a good thing.

Physically, I’m in agony, and emotionally, I’m spent.

The only semblance of relief I get is when I have something cold in my mouth.

Something tells me I can forget about sleeping tonight lol

This picture background is awkwardly blurred out because it’s not my house. I was house-sitting over night. I like blurring the backgrounds of pictures of me out anyway, unless they’re outside, because I like the scenery. But some pictures are better without the blur, and this is one. But I don’t want to expose someone else’s house.

I’m in bed now, watching the original “Carrie” movie with my boys, eating Chocolate ice cream, and guzzling ice water and Gatorade.

I 100% don’t recommend this experience. Whatever you do, try to hold onto your teeth! Lol

This is Hell if ever there was a Hell.

(For any curious people not interested in reading, I had 18 teeth extracted, unexpectedly, all in one sitting. And it’s not pretty.)

Soft teeth run in my family, and I drank too much soda before bed when I was young, so I guess I’m paying for it now.

I’m on Fire – Bruce Springsteen

Xoxo Kim ❀️

Another Fall in Philadelphia πŸ’›πŸ§‘

Gonna spend another Fall in Philadelphia! πŸ‚πŸπŸ§‘πŸ–€πŸŽƒβ˜•οΈ

Years ago, it was my tradition to post those song lyrics on the first day of Fall in Philadelphia, every year. Unintentionally, it got phased out. I’m trying to bring it back again lol

Hall & Oates are Philly boys 😁 They both attended Temple University!

I was happy to see that Daryl Hall received a successful life-saving living donor kidney transplant this year, at almost 80 years old! ❀️

Another Fall In Philadelphia- Hall & Oates

Xoxo Kim πŸ’›πŸ§‘

Love those kidneys πŸ«˜πŸ’™πŸ’š

Happy (belated) World Kidney Day!! πŸ’šπŸ«˜πŸ’™

Here’s your friendly reminder to hit the (water) bottle today!

Show those beans some extra tlc on their special day!!

I meant to post this weeks ago and never got around to it. But, it’s still Kidney Month! So relevant enough lol

#inmarchweweargreen
#worldkidneyday
#livingdonor

Xoxo Kim

No more violence πŸ’” Part two

This is a screenshot response that someone wrote to me on a meme I shared in my last post here, this meme:

This is my response to that person’s response. I understand the person has good intentions, but I can’t say I agree that gun violence is ever good.

My response:


I do think of myself as the same as them. I am the same as them.

Differences in political & moral views are not significant enough, in my opinion, to make us fundamentally different. We’re essentially the same. Not only are we the same species, we’re all sentient. That makes us the same.

That “we’re not the same” philosophy I see so frequently on “both sides,” hinders our empathy and only serves to create more of a disconnect with each other.

I’m human just like them. I’m a sentient being just like they are. Like them, I can experience pain and suffering, and, like them, I gravitate towards relief and pleasure and life affirming things. I don’t want my head blown off any less than they do.

I’m truly no different than they (people with different political/moral views than me) are. And I’m no more worthy of life than they are. If it’s not ok to blow my head off while I’m walking up a street or talking to people, then it’s not ok to blow theirs off, in my opinion. It’s sentience that makes us worthy of life, not our goodness.

Some may argue that it’s for practical purposes that some people are killed, but I don’t believe it’s helping anything or going to stop their ilk. They’ll still be spewing their nonsense after people like them are killed. Research even shows that in places where capital punishment is practiced, there’s even more violence and nothing to show that killing “bad people” deters other ones.

https://scholarlycommons.law.emory.edu/faculty-articles/143/

https://deathpenaltyinfo.org/policy-issues/policy/deterrence


If they’re so full of violent urges and hatred, it’s unlikely that killing them off in violent ways is going to make the surviving ones more peaceful and loving and accepting. It will just provoke more fury in them, motivating them to act with more violence either physically or verbally or politically. When Liberal/Progressive people kill a Conservative person or they assume the murderer is a Liberal, all it does is “confirm” for them that the Liberals are terrible people and that Liberalism has to be obliterated.

The only justification for blowing someone’s head off, in my opinion, is if that person is an imminent threat to me or to someone else, not just because they spew nonsense, even if the nonsense they spew is ultimately harmful. And it should always be a last resort.

I have progressive political views, pro equality for all minority groups…some people think that makes me a threat to society. That doesn’t mean one of those people can walk up and blow my head off out of the blue.

So, it’s the same with people who have views that I know are dangerous to society. I can’t just blow them to pieces because I don’t like their views. These Conservative people legit believe Liberals and minority groups are a serious threat to society and that they’re doing the greater good a favor when they kill us or strip us of our rights.

They truly feel justified in killing us off and/or trampling on our basic rights. But as we know, that’s not ok for them to do that just because they believe it’s helpful or that we deserve it. If we feel equally justified in killing them off because we know they’re a threat to us all, that doesn’t mean we’re right. It seems hypocritical to me. We get to decide who lives and who dies or who is worthy of the basic right to life and who isn’t. It doesn’t sit right with me.

Our convictions are equally strong, yet it’s ours that is right, just doesn’t make sense. I know the difference here is that they actually are a threat where we aren’t. But, still, I think it gets dangerous when we start subjectively coming up with excuses to kill people for their views. And I think there’s a better way to deal with them.

They experience fear and pain. They have things that make them happy. They have friends and family who love them. They have little kids and pets who need them and are traumatized over the loss…it’s not ok to decide that it’s our place to take their life away just because they have repulsive views.

We have to tackle their views and keep them out of positions of power (I know that’s very difficult to do and a complex issue and easier said than done), not murder them. There’s always going to be despicable people with corrupt views, trying to make life difficult for others. I believe there are better ways to deal with them than killing them.

There are people who find me just as repulsive as I find these people (I received death wishes, was told I deserve to suffer the “worst pain imaginable” and be killed after being tortured “beyond recognition” and more because of my political views, told I deserve to be caught in a massacre at a Democratic event), that doesn’t give them consent to kill me. It works both ways.

Also, I don’t necessarily believe that when someone kills someone for political reasons that it’s always for practical purposes. I think it’s often out of anger and “payback,” which is never wise to act on. I see many people rejoicing in a vengeful way when a political figure is shot dead, that shows it’s not just for practical purposes.

Having to kill someone, in my opinion, is never a happy matter. I get having to kill someone sometimes or not mourning for certain people when they die, because of how terrible they were. But there’s people just getting off on their deaths. That’s ok if that’s their inner experience. It’s not really my place to tell people how they should and shouldn’t feel about something. Especially when it’s an oppressed person rejoicing over the fact that one of their oppressors is dead.

Who am I to tell a trans person or a gay person or an African American/black person or a woman not to be happy someone who was working to kill them or take away their basic human rights is dead? But we can’t be acting on it or promoting killing for revenge. I believe for practical purposes, to make the country/world better for all, we should teach and promote more peaceful ways than killing.

Decisions, especially ones that have to do with ending someone’s life, should always be made, intellectually, and while in a rational state of mind.

Society isn’t going to progress by blowing each other’s heads off.

Xoxo Kim

No more violence πŸ’”

No matter how repulsive those views are.

Simple reminder πŸ’š

Violence isn’t the answer.

I picked up the morning paper
The headlines were no surprise
A random act of senseless violence
Was committed again last night
It seems the whole world has gone crazy
And something needs to be done
So, starting today, I’m gonna find a way
I’m gonna repay someone
With a random act of senseless kindness
Unexpected hand to help remind us
A little bit of love is a cure for hate
It’s easy to give up, but it’s never too late
A single step in the right direction
Person to person making a connection
We can change the world that’s become so violent
With a random act of senseless kindness

Random Act of Senseless Kindness – South Sixty Five

Xoxo Kim

Universal Compassion ❀️

In my opinion, our compassion is best when it embraces all sentient beings.

Reasons:

1.) Our suffering is all the same whether we’re good or bad.
2.) At best, suffering does the world no good, and at the worst, it makes the world worse for everyone
3.) Ultimately, the “bad people” are like victims of their circumstances- this is not to say we have no choice, but our choices are often influenced by various factors, our mental health, our life circumstances, our upbringing, our culture,  our privilege or lack of… and sometimes without us fully realizing the consequences or that we have other options. I don’t believe that under the best circumstances, anyone would essentially choose to be a terrible person.
4.) Our own minds are more peaceful when we wish others well.

This post is inspired by all the (understandable) enthusiasm I have been seeing about Donald Trump’s medical condition and all the wishes that more bad things happen to him.

I don’t believe he can be rehabilitated. I believe he’s a bad person and that there’s no hope for him. I am not one of those loving people who believe everyone is truly good and that everyone can be rehabilitated with lots of love and care. I think Donald Trump was born with the predisposition for being a “bad person.”

His condition reminds me of my condition, but mine is not serious. It can be painful but is not life or health threatening. I have jugular vein insufficiency and insufficiency of a few other veins in my neck because of an obstruction in my head. The obstruction is also not life threatening. The blood leaving my brain to go to my heart through these veins, can’t get there because of the veins being impinged on. So, the blood backs up into my head. Many veins are all doing the same job, so it doesn’t matter. It’s harmless. The blood is still getting to my heart. 

I have recurring unbearable headaches associated with it, though. The headaches are 10/10 pain, at least within their own context. I guess when compared to some other kinds of pain, they would be less than 10 on a pain level scale. But like within the context of headaches. They bring me to the floor. I have been bedridden for days sometimes. I think it’s the obstruction itself that causes the headaches, not the vein insufficiency or blood backing up. That can cause severe pain, too, though, among many other things. When I have these headaches or think of them, my empathy for others becomes boundless.

Mine doesn’t cause swelling, but you can see the jugular vein bulging out of my neck. I had to have scans a couple of years ago to see why it was suddenly protruding and so prominent. The doctors were concerned it could be a blood clot somewhere causing it. But it turned out to be nothing serious. I convinced myself I was dying and had six months left to live (certain kinds of cancer can cause it to bulge, and when it’s to that point, the average person only lives around six months. I convinced myself I had that), and my heart rate and blood pressure were through the roof in a doctor’s office. They had to tell me to calm down and to stay off Google πŸ˜† 

I don’t want him as President, he’s absolutely repulsive. He has no redeeming qualities. None.
But I don’t wish him or anyone to be sick. I don’t believe anyone deserves to be sick any more than I do. We are all equal in our suffering and in our comfort. The goodness or lack of it in us, is irrelevant in this context. If Donald Trump was afflicted with one of my headaches, he would suffer the same as me. All sentient beings essentially want to live and be healthy. We all suffer the same. The headaches this brings me, I would wish on absolutely no one. I literally cannot bear the mere thought of someone else, even him, enduring what I do when a headache hits. 

I believe the world would be a significantly better place if everyone was happy (not at the expense of others, but sincerely happy) & healthy. It’s people who are unhappy and hurt who hurt others. Happy, well rounded, people don’t go around tormenting anyone else. There are absolutely people who get off on hurting others (he’s one of them), it makes them happy. But that’s not genuine happiness, it’s happiness that often relieves whatever unhappiness that afflicts them. If they were genuinely happy, they would not inflict pain upon others.

❀️

Most of us have probably experienced this on a lesser scale, like for example, when we’re in a bad mood so we get snippy with someone when it’s not warranted. It’s displaced anger or annoyance. We may not usually do this, even when unhappy, but most of us have probably more than once been less than kind, when in a bad mood, to someone who did not deserve it. These people, though, live a life of that because they are always unhappy and are the kind of people who want others to suffer, too.

I don’t believe that everyone is basically good. But I think their lack of goodness is the result of their own suffering. Some people are born (and maybe upbringing often plays a part, but I think they have inherent or genetic inclination for it to begin with) never developing basic human abilities/emotions, like the ability for empathy and compassion. This does not result in true happiness. It results in the desire to hurt others, it brings them a superficial happiness. Donald Trump hurts everyone. And he gets off on it. He loves it. But we see he’s not a happy person. 

Why do we think bitter, miserable people often insist on hurting others? Because it brings them relief or pleasure. They are seeking what we all seek. It’s just for them, their suffering influences it.

Wishing further suffering on them has no practical benefits. If anything, it only serves to perpetuate their abuse as their own suffering is the source of it anyway, and it doesn’t make our own mind any more positive or loving. It may bring us a moment of satisfaction again & again. But I don’t think it has any real value. At least wishing others well has potential to bring us inner peace, and then we’re more likely to interact positively with others.

Not all seemingly terrible people really are. Unlike Donald Trump, some can change. It’s dependent on the reason they are how they are.

I believe that if we were all given the choice before being born, to be a good and happy person or a bad and suffering person who goes to great lengths to inflict that suffering upon others, all of us would have chosen to be happy and healthy and good and someone who wishes that for every other being as well. Ultimately, no one chooses to be what Donald Trump is. Yes, he chooses to do bad things within the confines of the existence he was given. He’s a despicable person. Nothing changes that. But I don’t believe for a second that he would have chosen this if the uni-verse gave him a choice when he was still a “clean slate” if ever he even was. He was born suffering or was brought up to suffer, and now he wants the rest of us to suffer along with him.

Some people’s suffering inspires deeper empathy for others, but for others, it doesn’t, it has the opposite effect and inhibits empathy instead. 

As the cliche goes, “Hurt people, hurt people.”

Suffering begets more suffering. 

This doesn’t mean we always have to speak warm & kindly to everyone. Sometimes, people have to be told off & judged harshly and not get what they want. Some people need a firm ass kicking. It just means we don’t have to wish suffering upon them.

I believe it does no good to wish pain & suffering on others.

I wish he was happy & healthy and not born a psychopath. Me wishing that does no practical good either, though. But I think the world would be better and most of us more peaceful if more of us wished good things on people instead of bad.

People have countered my sentiment, saying anger & hatred fuel us to act for good. While that is sometimes true, compassion & love can fuel us just the same. Anger & hatred feel unpleasant and can get out of control and influence us to do things that are destructive to ourselves and others. Love & compassion can never go wrong. As I said, it doesn’t necessarily have to be warm and sappy and “feel good” feelings. It can be firm & harsh but still love. When anger & hatred frequently consume us, it leads to stress, depression, anxiety, physical ailments. When compassion & love consume us, it only leads to good.

I don’t know the source of this quote, the name here may not be accurate. I also see it attributed to Shantideva.

I have wished bad things on people before, and I probably will again. But that’s not the philosophy I hold, it’s when I give into raw emotion that I allow to overtake me and blind me. I always find my way back to me, the authentic me who knows the truth, that wishing suffering on others isn’t the way.

If I could, I would flip a switch and turn all the suffering in the world off, even for “bad people.” I would in a heartbeat. 

Think about it, there must be higher love
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above
Without it, life is a wasted time
Look inside your heart, I’ll look inside mine
Things look so bad everywhere
In this whole world, what is fair?
We walk blind, and we try to see
Falling behind in what could be

Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Bring me a higher love
Where’s that higher love I keep thinking of?

Higher Love – Steve Winwood

Xoxo Kim ❀️

Random act of kindness πŸ’š

Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.

Years ago, like 20+ years ago, I was taking a college psychology class, and I met a girl who was taking the same class with the same professor but a different part of the day than me. So, we weren’t in class together. She did not have the money to buy the text book. My dad bought my books for me. So, in the evenings, I would write out the portions of the book she needed for assignments, exams, and quizzes in an e-mail and send it to her. It was very time consuming. I’m not even sure if that’s legal, likely not as it was enough for her to not have to buy the book. But it helped her immensely, and I don’t regret it lol I know what it’s like to not have enough money for something essential. And I remember having no idea what I would do if my dad did not buy my books. Where do they think an 18 year old is going to get $500+?

Back then, these phones with the cameras and all weren’t really a thing or as popular yet. And I had no scanner and never really thought of making copies somewhere, which would have been much easier. So, I spent hours just sitting there writing the text out for a complete stranger I never even met face to face.

I met her in a group online where she wrote that she couldn’t buy the book yet and was desperate for help and pleaded with anyone to send her the content. I could feel the desperation in her posts. She had no idea what to do. No one else responded, so I did. Saved her ass πŸ˜†

I love posts like this because it’s uplifting & heartwarming & inspiring to see the goodness in humans. When we share our acts of kindness, it can inspire others to be kind or just brighten their day.

Xoxo Kim

I’ll bleed out for you β€οΈ

(I have sunscreen & olive oil on my skin/hair, so if I look greasy, that’s why πŸ˜†)

I’m bleeding out
So if the last thing that I do
Is bring you down
I’ll bleed out for you
So I bare my skin
And I count my sins
And I close my eyes
And I take it in
I’m bleeding out
I’m bleeding out for you, for you

Bleeding Out – Imagine Dragons

I donated platelets! Just eight days after donating whole blood!

This is my first platelet donation in a few years.

It takes hours hooked up to a machine with a needle and tube in both arms, for platelet donation. We’re restrained and can only move our legs and neck. The arms have to lay straight, can’t bend them or anything, the tubes in each one are hooked up to a machine. Can’t even look at our phone because we can’t hold anything. They do put a movie on for us. I watched “Jaws,” and the Red Cross nurse said “You picked a hell of a movie to watch while donating blood.” 🀣

Getting an itch or runny nose is the worst, there’s nothing that can be done about it. Just have to let the snots drip and itch go unscratched. I have allergies, so I tend to sneeze/get a runny nose. If you sneeze, you can’t cover your mouth & nose lol Awkward

The machine takes our blood through one arm and takes the platelets out of the blood, then it puts the rest of our blood back into our body through the other arm. They also have to inject us with stuff to reduce risk of blood clot and whatever else. It’s very, very, very rare, but I recently learned there’s a risk of death while donating platelets or any blood, even the simple whole blood routine. Say what??? Apparently, the risk is so low it’s not even worth mentioning to us, but I read it online.

It’s freezing cold when donating platelets. It’s something to do with whatever is happening to the body. It happens to anyone who donates platelets. It feels like being in a freezer even if the room is heated. They put a heated blanket on us and give us hand warmers, but eventually the heat runs out. We can probably request more.


They said most people don’t have this problem, but it makes me sick and lightheaded. Platelet donation always has. I feel like I’m going to pass out, even laying down. The feeling comes & goes throughout the donation. When I walk out after it’s over, I feel “under the weather.” I’m also all stiff because of not moving for hours. It also makes my whole face tingle and my fingertips. I don’t have this experience when donating whole blood, which is what I usually donate. I think it’s side effects of whatever they’re injecting me with, not the loss of platelets/blood doing this. There was one point where I thought, yeah, I’m not doing this again. Ever. Like ever. The next day, I’m back to my usual self.

The Red Cross said they need my platelets more now because of the ongoing platelet shortage crisis. We can donate once a week. They said the platelet crisis is extreme, there are so many more in need than are donating.

I guess I’m going to have to suck it up.

Me, after donating whole blood recently. (Again, the oily look is because I put various things on to protect my hair & skin against the elements)

It’s amazing that there are people sitting there hooked up to a machine for hours having parts of their body taken out for complete strangers. The Red Cross doesn’t pay their donors, but they occasionally give gifts and prize opportunities. They especially love platelet donors (and O blood donors because it’s the most needed blood type). The donors are getting nothing tangible out of it.

I was pleasantly surprised at how many other platelet donors were in there donating.

For the people who say people suck and there are no more good people, let’s remember our platelet donors. They are laying there for hours on a machine, some every week, giving parts of their own body away for people they’ll never meet. They aren’t just giving their body parts away but a significant amount of their time and some of their own comfort & health. And getting nothing in return.

I’m not a dedicated platelet donor, but there are people who are. There are people who haven’t missed a donation in many years. I would like to donate once a week and have tried before, but they said my body doesn’t produce enough platelets to keep giving them away. It only really makes enough for itself. Stingy bone marrow. Lol I also don’t want to risk becoming anemic, which can happen with frequent blood donation. I probably won’t donate every week, but if I have enough, I’ll try to frequently.

Donated platelets often go to cancer patients and organ transplant patients when theirs are too low. 

I’m glad I donated, and even though it kind of makes me sick, it also uplifts me to know it’s going to help someone else, likely cancer patients. They have to sit in a chemo chair every week and a platelet transfusion chair, having no choice, I’m just in the donation chair, which is a gift. The least I can do is share that fortune with someone else. That’s the thought that motivates me to keep going. πŸ’š

Xoxo Kim

Gay panic πŸ’•

I keep saying I want another woman “to do life with” and connect with and cuddle, and take care of. I keep wondering where she is and getting depressed & lonely about not having her, asking where is my Dame in shining armor.

Then, a beautiful, absolutely adorable gay woman who looks like she just walked out of my fantasies, in the flesh, comes out of nowhere and tells me I’m cute (which NEVER happens, women don’t even usually show interest in me as a friend, they literally do not know I even exist), and I freeze up and turn into a blubbering, stuttering wreck with no sense of language, mumble a barely audible “thank you,” turn, and walk away as fast as I can.

What’s wrong with me πŸ˜‚πŸ€£ I was beaming all the way home, though, felt like I was walking on air lol

This is what they mean by useless sapphic πŸ˜†πŸ˜

πŸ’œ

Nahh, ain’t no plans with a man πŸ˜†
πŸ€£πŸ’― I have to get this t-shirt one day soon lol
I’m not in New York, but, yes, I did! I attended Gay Game Night, a documentary on lgbtq+ rights activism, Drag Bingo where I got to see a drag show with Asia Monroe! πŸ’œπŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ
B&w version πŸ–€

Haven’t Met You Yet

Walking In the Rain – Walker Brothers

Mr. Sandman

Xoxo Kim ❀️