I have been realizing that I am coming to care less and less about what people think of me and the things I do. And I like it. There are some things I wouldn’t do before that would have benefited me because I felt silly about it like people would think it’s weird or whisper about me or something. But I’m not so much like that anymore and it’s really doing me good.

Example 1: Yesterday I wore pants that are too tight for me. I have no idea what possessed me to think I would be able to squeeze my ass into size 3/4 pants but I did! And they felt so tight that I was uncomfortable but I wore them anyway because I felt that they look good on me and I never wore them before and it felt like having new pants! Lol. So I wore them to work and they hurt so bad even more! I wore a kind of long shirt with them. So I decided to un-button and un-zip them and whoa did it feel like Heaven!!! No one would see that they weren’t zipped or buttoned exactly because my shirt covered the zipper but the corners of the pants were poking through my shirt and people could see that! It looked kind of weird! I was so tempted to zip and button them back up to prevent people thinking something negative about it but I thought about what that would do to me. And what would people seeing them poking through my pants do? Nothing! It just wouldn’t look right. So what if people laughed or smirked or just thought something negative?! That would not have hurt me. But zipping and buttoning those pants sure hurt! So I decided to do what’s truly best for me, not do something out of concern for what people think of me. And no one seemed to think anything! 🙂

Example 2: I was very sick for three weeks recently with another head and chest cold and kept getting cold & hot. Very hot. To the point I could get cold showers and go out in freezing weather with a short sleeve shirt and no coat or hoodie or anything. I had to go to work and was so hot that I felt I would black out but I knew if I took my hoodie off and just wore my short sleeve shirt, people would think it’s weird or like I’m showing off. But again I did what’s best for me. I wore just my short sleeves. People did say stuff about it but mostly just funny, joking comments like “What do you think you’re in the Bahamas?!” Lol! 🙂

Example 3: When my family gets angry at me sometimes they sling personal insults at me and it used to depress me or put me in a low mood but now I don’t care as much! I still don’t like it, who would, right?! But it doesn’t get to me so much anymore! That is something to be proud of! 😉

Example 5: I used to obsess when I would say something to someone, especially someone that I did not know well or at all, that came out wrong or not how I intended. Sometimes, even, throughout the day I would be thinking “Wonder what s/he’s thinking about me for saying that or wonder if s/he misunderstood or thinks I’m weird or something?”. Now I don’t obsess. I let it go. Chances are anyway, after an unpleasant or unplanned or unfortunate encounter when you embarrass yourself, people aren’t even thinking of it anymore anyway. You are because you’re the one who embarrassed yourself but the other person likely has other stuff to think of than to dwell on your little mishap! Lol. So let go! Anyway it’s ok, there are worse things than doing or saying something stupid in public. I know the thought sounds scary but it really is just trivial. 🙂

This isn’t out of apathy to the world or people, it’s about doing what’s best for me and not letting fear of what negative things people think or say control me or drag me down. I believe it’s because of strengthening my positive thinking habit and working on my self-esteem in general. When we have good, healthy self-esteem we will still care to some degree what people think about certain things and that is ok but we will generally not let it control us or make us change or feel low about ourselves or our choices. We will not hurt ourselves just to please others or prevent negative gossip about us.

It’s unrealistic to expect ourselves or others to never, ever care in any way, in any case what others think about certain things but we should value our own health, comfort, and opinions of ourselves over the negative thinking of others. There are much more important things and thoughts to entertain than the idea that people are gossiping about you or thinking bad about you. If they are, oh well you can be above that and just be you and accept yourself for who you truly are. ❤

😀

“If you want, then start to laugh

If you must, then start to cry

Be yourself don’t hide” ~Enigma 

(Check out this fabulous and sweet song by Enigma, “Return to Innocence”!!!)

Xox0 Kim