I’m reading a novel called “The Looking Glass” by Richard Paul Evans, and found this quote in it on page 88. I’m not on page 88, I just started reading it but it has quotes throughout so I was flipping through the pages and this one struck me with its deep wisdom and I just knew I have to share it!  

It’s true money can bring us a kind of happiness and solve our problems if our problems are financial related. I wouldn’t be happier in general if I just won billions of dollars but I would be happy about the money, which I can’t be now since I don’t have money to be happy about. Money wouldn’t solve all my problems but it would help with financial struggles. But even with financial struggles, someone can be very happy. My general happiness would remain but I would have an additional joy or happiness now. Money isn’t bad or evil, material objects, pretty things, expensive things aren’t bad or wrong. I don’t believe they can bring us true happiness or fulfillment but they can add to our happiness and bring a certain kind of joy.
But mostly, I think they will only bring a lot of deep joy if we’re already basically happy. They can complement it. 

What isn’t good is to believe we need money or all kinds of material things to be truly happy. And it’s not good to be jealous of people who have more or better or bigger things(i have been jealous on some occasions of what someone else has). It’s not good to steal or use people for their money or take advantage of friends who have more money. It’s also not good to spend more than we have and then be in all kinds of debt (I have done this myself). But this isn’t the money’s fault.

There are people who say winning the lottery “ruined” their lives and studies that show many people who have won significant amounts of money became less happy than they were before the money. I heard people say the money “made” them less happy. This seems like a strange kind of irony. We would think money would help us be happier! But this just goes to show, money isn’t inherently good.

“Money made me less happy.” 

I don’t agree with this. They may have become less happy after receiving all that money but not because of the money itself. Because of how they handled and viewed the situation. Money has no power unless we give it power. It can’t make me anything. It can’t ruin anything. Unless we let it. This goes for many/most/all things outside of our selves. 

But as this quote suggests, money, when we give it power, can be cruel. We think it will solve our deep innermost problems and it doesn’t. And then we become disappointed which contributes to our pain. Sometimes if we expect something to make us better and it doesn’t, our spirits sink even lower than before. Also, some people get lots of money and then spend more than that thinking they have it to spend and go in debt. 

This man is wise enough to know not to automatically count all that gold as a blessing. The real blessing is the wisdom to handle it well.

I have never been rich, financially, but there are occasions I spent way more money than I should have, thinking it would help my depression and sometimes it helped temporarily and often not at all. But even on the occasions it cheered me up a bit, a deeper emptiness and disappointment often followed, only adding to my depression. I expected all the pretty things to fulfill me and they did not. This only escalated my misery along with putting me in some serious debt.

There are occasions I was depressed and waited for packages to come in the mail and anticipated the happiness they would bring me. I was thrilled, ripping the package opened. But for what? All I found was an empty space. An empty place, deep inside me that material things can never fill. They can add to my happiness, temporarily bring me joy. But never can money or things bring me true, deep, happiness. When I’m already happy and get a sweet package in the mail, this is way better than being depressed and expecting it to fulfill me. Pretty things can for sure cheer me up but not make me happy if I’m not basically happy already. 

If someone’s only problem is not having money for food and this is seriously contributing to despair or unhappiness, money can help significantly. We usually need money for food and food to live. Money is important in some ways but it’s not everything. As long as we have enough to have our basic needs met, that is enough even if we can’t go on shopping sprees, live in a big extravagant house, have the most expensive up to date technology and car and clothes…

But for the most part, money won’t solve our problems. Financially rich people still die, still get sick, still get depressed and anxious, and experience loss. And financially struggling people can still be happy and generally satisfied. And the other way around. Rich people can be happy and fulfilled and poor people can suffer with emotional pain and feel purposeless. It’s all about our attitude. And we can work on our attitude and develop/strengthen positive habits.

I think this is true for physical beauty, cosmetic surgery, relationships of any kind, mostly anything external. They complement our happiness, cheer us up, help us cope and we can be happy about them even if we’re not very happy in general. But they themselves can’t make us happy or truly blissful in a general way. We can have very good relationships, be physically beautiful and still be miserable even if we are happy with how we look and the relationships we have. But I think connecting with people, animals, nature, the outside world, helping others….add to our (for most of us probably) happiness and bring a deeper joy more than money and other inanimate objects.

Money and material things are great when we rule them instead of them ruling us. And it’s good to remember we don’t need them for true happiness. 

“Detachment doesn’t mean you own nothing; it means nothing owns you.”

Connecting with others, helping, focusing on the good, an attitude of gratitude….these are better ways to be happy! (in my opinion) 

❤

Here's a sweet little love song for you:

In This Life – Collin Raye – mobile
In This Life – desktop

“For all I’ve been blessed with in this life,
there was an emptiness in me.
I was imprisoned by the power of gold.
With one honest touch, you set me free.
Let the world stop turning,
let the sun stop burning.
Let them tell me love’s not worth going through.
If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart
the only dream that matters has come true;
in this life, I was loved by you.” ~ Collin Raye

I love the message here. And it’s a beautiful song. This person opened him up to a new view and he realized what is truly important and even if this person leaves him, he is still changed by this person’s love and will still always cherish being loved at one point by him/her. He knows it’s love that’s important in this life. This is different than a lot of romantic love songs because it’s not like a pathetic attachment love song like “if you leave me, I’ll lay down and die” or “without you I’m nothing.”  He knows he will be changed in a positive way even if “it all falls apart” and just the experience of being loved by that person is enough forever. And I know it’s a romantic love song (probably) but this can apply to all love, platonic and universal and romantic. The power of love trumps the power of gold!

❤ 😀

Much0 love to you!

Xoxo Kim  ❤ ❤

p.s. Just to make you smile:

“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.” ~ Bo Derek 😀 ;-D