One of those fun bloggy surveys!

Currently….

Book: Fatal Decision by John Greenwood- a Kindle book. seriously the most terrifying book I ever read! I’m not through with it yet and it’s very disturbing. I can feel all the terror and emotions along with the characters. It’s not gory or anything (which I prefer – I do not like gory) but the plot is horrifying. A mom and dad of a thirteen year old little boy find that someone went to their son’s school pretending to be his uncle and kidnaps the boy. The father later receives an anonymous phone call by a man telling him not to tell the police he has contact with the kidnappers or they’ll kill his child. Then the man tells the dad he has to kill an innocent person or he’ll not see his son alive again. Either way, the kidnappers will give his boy back but if the dad doesn’t kill the innocent person for them, his son will be brought back dead. If he kills the innocent person, his son will be brought back alive and well. Holy Hell!! And the kidnappers keep killing innocent people to show how serious they are. They have no problem killing. They stalk the boy’s dad and see almost everything he does and know where he is each moment of everyday so they’ll likely know if he tells the police he talks to them. They even see in his house! He doesn’t know how and when he looks around he cannot see them anywhere. The book is very good. It does have quite a few spelling/grammatical errors. Books I read usually do not have this many. I’m no grammar phanatic but it’s surprising that a published book has so many. I can’t (truthfully) say the book is very well written in my opinion, in some way, but in another way it is. The author captures the terrible emotions of the parents extremely well. The characters are very much alive, in my opinion. I can imagine real parents who lose children, reacting the same way, experiencing the same breakdowns and agony. They are very realistic. Some characters in some books are one-dimensional or emotionless seeming. I usually stop reading them when they are. I read part of a fiction book before with a fascinating plot including a little girl going missing and something strange keeps happening but I stopped reading it because the parents have no emotion, not like being shocked and emotionless after a tragedy but they just have no life in them even before the child went missing. It’s like the author wasn’t empathetic enough while writing it to portray real emotions through fiction writing. I don’t recommend books before completing them but I will probably recommend this one to those who don’t mind errors all throughout and less than superb writing. It’s still a great book! It has great reviews too, almost 5 stars out of 5 and 94 people reviewed it. It has 187 pages. I usually prefer them longer but it’s ok! Right now, I still give it 5 stars!

Also a book called “The Philosophy of the Enlightenment” by Ernst Cassirer. Very interesting! 😀

Nail polish: still painted for Christmas! One hand green and the other red! All chipped up now!

Favorite drink: iced tea, coca cola – same as always

Photo: Me on New Year’s Eve!

& me on New Year Day:

Guilty pleasure: fictional horror mystery books! Ahh!! ;-D And Christmas cookies on sale! Lol I got up at 2:00 in the morning one morning recently and ate a whole bag while reading a scary book in the dark with my dogs! Fun!

Thing thankful for: I’m thankful for my attitude or feeling that everything works out so well for me. Since I was very young, I have often felt that things just fall into place easily for me. I’m mostly referring to all the little things. I don’t believe in luck but I have always felt “lucky.”
I got to go to the University I always wanted to go to. It’s the only one I applied to. When things of mine break, they usually start working again right when I need them. I usually don’t have to wait too long for a bus I’m waiting for even if I wasn’t looking at the schedule. Whenever I want something at a store, they usually have it….stuff like this. It’s not always that things work out perfectly for me. Sometimes I’m waiting for a bus in zero degree weather for over an hour. Sometimes a store is out of stuff I really, really need/want. But I remember even being in Kindergarten when I was five years old and feeling as if I’m so “lucky” and everything works out in my favor. I can even remember a couple of things I thought of as examples back then! I still feel this way, even right now. I think it’s not just external things working out well but my attitude. I have a strong attitude of gratitude. Even with depression when it would flare up. I can’t feel it to the fullest usually like I do when I’m not depressed but still I feel it often even when I’m severely depressed. The thing is, with depression it’s often hard to focus on that gratitude but it’s possible. Gratitude is so healing. When I truly focus on not only the things to be thankful for but my thankfulness for them, even when I can’t feel it as strongly, it really touches my depression and sometimes lifts it a little bit or even a lot. I never have bad days because even on the rare days where it seems one thing after another goes wrong, I am soon reminded of all the things that go right.
Even on those days where one thing after another goes wrong, one thing after another also goes right. And I usually automatically see that but when I don’t, I try to intentionally focus on it.
When I’m not suicidal, I think any day I’m alive is a good day and when I am suicidal, I can still think of the things going right. I couldn’t always do this when I would be suicidal. I used to know of all my good things but just ignore them for the bad, often. Sometimes good things would keep popping out at me over n over and I would deny them because I was so depressed. But through the years I learned more and more to focus on the good. Even when I want to die, I can still see good. It just doesn’t take away my despair or sense of worthlessness and purposelessness always but does me good still. Gratitude is the best attitude for depression! It’s stronger than depression if we allow it to be. It’s a great attitude for anyone with or without depression. If you don’t have it naturally like I do, you can develop it and if you already have an attitude of gratitude, you can strengthen it or make it more frequent. And if you already live in complete, boundless gratitude every second of every day, that’s amazing! (but probably very rare) 😀 ❤
Richard Branson once said “I was born under a lucky star…” He is a very rich man financially but also in his attitude about life. And I don’t think his money has to do with it. I think he is just a happy man with a great attitude, money or not. We can all have that attitude. His statement “I was born under a lucky star” inspires me. I feel the same way and when I forget, I just remind myself that. And I’m what some people can call “dirt poor” financially(I don’t even have phone service! But I don’t mind!). Lol! So it’s not the money! This goes to show even more that depression isn’t just about being spoiled & ungrateful. An attitude adjustment can do us good but depression is more than just that.

Drink – a “no name” brand of root beer. Isn’t that so weird?! I never liked root beer for as long as I can remember but when I’m sick, I crave it. It’s so weird. It’s actually called Tubz and reminds me of my dog, Isis Summerjo, my fuzzy sausage girl! Little kids often call her piggy or the piggy dog! lol

Fashion: hmmm…I know nothing about fashion! lol

Laughing at: the Buddhist class I attended for New Year’s Eve was funny! Our teacher is really funny; I laughed a lot! Lol ;-D

Also this,

(cute picture but it’s not mine!)

Fear: I’m not afraid of anything at the moment!

Weather: a bit cold. Just the way I like it! 😀

Grateful for: my good physical health – I have a sinus thing going for the last few days but generally my physical health is great. And for the good physical health of everyone else who isn’t sick. ❤

Feeling: more uplifted than I have been. Writing here is inspiring! I mostly like to write for others who will potentially come across it but it’s also good for me! ❤

Looking forward to: a new Kindle book released next month! A fiction suspense thriller! I been waiting seven months! Ahhh!! ;-D Book 3 in a series by Dr.Carey Baldwin. Totally can’t wait!! I have a big, bright smile just thinking about it! 😀

Thank You everyone for the comments, likes, shares….I always appreciate it! ❤

Much love,

xoxo Kim