Tag Archive | true

Outside the boxes

Sep27

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In our society we have the tendency to put people, including ourselves,  into boxes – socially constructed boxes or categories. This causes much confusion when someone cannot be molded into one of these boxes.

We often see things in terms of “black & white”, “one or the other”, “This or that.”

But the truth is, we are all so unique, a medley made up of various things that we cannot always be succinctly put into “boxes”. We can stuff ourselves and each other into perfect little boxes but the box will overflow, what about the parts of ourselves that can’t be labeled or identified?

For example, I have been told that it’s “wrong” to have mixed children because the kids won’t know “which world they belong to” or what race they really are. According to some, you have to be one race and only one.  People are confused by the whole concept of Bisexuality, believing a person has to be gay or be straight and that’s that.  Some people who strongly identify with one specific political orientation but have one or a few views that are not typically held by their political affiliation are rejected by others in their political group for not being “true” to the political label they mostly identify with.
I read something written by a yoga instructor who was at one point a vegan but fell deathly ill and had to eat certain meat products temporarily to stay alive and she felt an overwhelming sense of confusion about where she stood. Yoga instructors are often believed to be vegans and thin and fit Or they aren’t “true yogis.”

See how this all has so much potential to cause great confusIon and pain? Some people are mixed races, some are bisexual, some have aspects of male & female, some identify with no gender, some yoga instructors are not vegetarians or vegans, some are not thin, some Liberals are pro- life, some Conservatives are pro -choice…

And we can tolerate & accept & love anyway. We don’t have to be shoved into boxes and be all confused when we meet someone who doesn’t quite fit into the box we so desperately attempt to put that person in.  Labels and categorizing are good to a certain extent, we need them sometimes.   But when we use them to the excess, they do more harm than good.
If you do somehow fit perfectly into a box that’s no problem but if not, it’s best not to force yourself. You don’t have to live up to a label or a socially constructed or even a self imposed box or category. There’s no room to be your true self then, no room for growth. Live up to your own standards, morals, virtues, give yourself room to breath, change when you must, evolve and just be.

I’ll just be me and you just be you. And we can let them just be them.

“You do not need anyone’s permission to be your true self.“
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

“Honor diversity in all seasons.“
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Xoxo  Kim

Be True to Yourself (old post) <3

Jan1

I wrote this and posted this on Facebook in my notes section three years ago. But it still applies today and always will. So I’m copying it and pasting it here in hopes that it will help someone in need. ❤

Always, always be true to yourself!! 

 

We always hear that we should treat other people as we would want to be treated or for the most part as we treat ourselves. That’s good. But I was thinking for the most part if you are a generally good person and treat other people good, you should treat yourself good too. Treat yourself like you treat them. You are no less of a person than anyone else. If you don’t judge people too much then don’t judge yourself so much. If you don’t negatively judge other people by the way they look it doesn’t make sense to do that to yourself.

If you lose your job or don’t get the job you want, if you are rejected by someone or don’t get accepted to the school or program you want or if you’re not as thin or pretty as you would like to be you may feel like calling yourself negative things or maybe even like killing yourself or like you deserve to feel pain. 

But imagine if someone you know lost a job or was rejected or isn’t thin or pretty. Would you say that person deserves to be called negative things; would you vilify or want to kill that person? Most likely not. Now you see how ridiculous that sounds.

Too often many of us treat ourselves less than or worse than we treat other people and it don’t make any sense. Think about it. You’re a person just like everyone else so you should treat yourself like it by thinking about positive things about yourself and not saying nothing but negative things about yourself especially if they’re not really true.

It’s ok to think about and acknowledge negative things about yourself if they’re really true but not obsess over them and dwell on them.

Whenever you think negative things about yourself, tell yourself a couple good things about you. If you can’t think of any, make something up that you would like to become and keep telling yourself it OR message me and if I know you personally I’ll tell you something good about you. And if I don’t know you personally hopefully you have a detailed profile that I can detect some things out of. There is something good about you, you just think there isn’t. Keep telling yourself positive things about yourself and you may come to believe it.

If ever you want to vent or have self-esteem problems just come to me. Message me and I’ll try to help you. If you want to vent or complain about anything and have no where to just use my wall or inbox even if you don’t really know me. I really won’t mind.

And I was also thinking about selfishness and where to draw the line. It’s not good to constantly be a person who ALWAYS puts yourself before everyone else but occasionally it is healthy to put yourself first, to do you and forget everyone else. 

Like I said you are a person like every other person and on some occasions you have to put yourself first and do what you want or have to to be happy or healthy.

And you may feel guilty which is not justified. You should not always put yourself first that’s true but you should not always put everyone else first either. No matter how much you like or love them or no matter how guilty they make you feel.

If people are constantly asking you to do stuff for them and you always do it’s ok to say no occasionally and not feel guilty even if they try to make you feel that way. Just remember you’re a person like them and have to occasionally come first or say no.

I was hospitalized before for Clinical Depression and in the hospital they told us to find our inner sun and let it shine through. And to take care of ourselves and occasionally put ourselves first even if it makes other people angry or hurt emotionally. And I believe that’s true. Some days you just have to do you. Thinking like this helps me and I hope it helps anyone who may read this and needs help.