I am reminded even more how important  kindness is. It’s good anyway but we don’t always know when someone is suffering and one kind word can be so healing and one vicious word can be so destructive if we let it be. It can contribute to the suffering.

Valentine’s Day was my close friend’s favorite holiday. I love all the candy hearts and roses and pretty stuff in the stores but it was never a big day to me. I never seriously loved it necessarily as a holiday and never dreaded it like many do. It’s just another day, a holiday for commercialism and consumerism but I really don’t care. I think it’s sweet when people like to celebrate it. It was one of Diane’s most special days. And guess what? She was at work (I took off that day for a meditation retreat) last year on that day and her heart just stopped. Forever. 

In almost ten years I never went more than a week without seeing her.

The agony comes in waves. One minute in my head it’s like “I got this, I can handle this” then the very next minute it’s like “Oh wait, no I can’t! I can’t do this” and the wind is knocked out of me then it’s back to “oh yeah I can handle it” on & on. It feels like blades are cutting me up inside. 

At some moments I feel that if it were physical pain, it would feel like an emergency, I would think I’m dying and need an emergency room. But it’s not physical, even though it feels almost physical, and I know what it is. I am not dying. 

I have nothing inspiring to say about it. And I won’t even pretend to always see the light in it.

I saw her son recently and he’s dreading the day. They were very close.

It’s so good to see him. 

My mind is somewhere else these days. In some distant place. I’m very forgetful and can’t concentrate on what is before me. 

Last night I was out shopping and I met a couple Earth angels.

I saw this little lady pushing a shopping cart and I felt drawn to her for some reason. She had a big smile on her face and I wanted to say hello. So I walked closer to her and smiled and looked her in the eyes but I quickly looked down because I was overcome in shyness and then felt kind of embarrassed for approaching her because she doesn’t know me but she said very cheerfully “hello, how are you?” like it’s the most natural, expected thing to have a stranger approach just to be friendly, and her smile was brighter still and a spark lit up her eyes. I felt so healed. So comforted. What a beautiful reminder that people are often more receptive than we may think they are. So many are ready to connect with each other, even “strangers” if only we reach out. And even if they aren’t receptive, so what?! I’m so happy I found those few seconds of courage to initiate contact! 😀 ❤

Thank you, lovely little lady. ❤

Another lady, who works in the store, saw me carrying cat food and told me it's on sale tomorrow in case I want to put it back until then but I needed it then because we're all out! But I deeply appreciate her kindness. I did not get a shopping cart and was by myself and later I was having difficulty carrying all the stuff to the register and she saw me and helped me! Again, another act of kindness! So sweet! ❤

I saw a little girl and her dad shopping as well and her dad was carrying a big bag of dog food and telling her, "this is your dinner tonight" and she burst out laughing saying "no daddy, that's dog food!" and he was laughing and said "nope, it's your dinner" and the little girl laughed harder. It seriously brightened my whole night and I couldn't help but smile and giggle myself. Even now as I write this. Sometimes just being our own self can inspire and uplift someone. 😀

Today I also encountered a few Earth angels.

Today, walking to work, I saw a delivery man and he said hello to me and told me to have a great day! How can I not now?! ;-D

I also saw one of my customers on the street and it's so sweet getting to talk to her! 

When I got to work my boss' mom was there, she's 80 something years old, and she was talking to a bunch of men and said very loudly "money talks & bullshit walks! No truer words were ever spoken!" lol It's so funny!

So many sweet people all around! I just love them!! ❤

These Earth angels remind me to be the best me I can be for others, we never know who we may be touching or how deeply with just being us and doing simple acts of kindness. ❤

Also I'm reminded that if we truly look and remain open, we will see Earth angels everywhere around us. Everywhere. 

I haven't been being my most loving self. I have been very pissed and devastated and that's ok but I'm reminded to not let those overwhelming emotions conquer me into being bitter and unkind and to instead allow my usual compassionate, loving self to prevail. ❤

Look what I found!

Yum! :-p 😀 Just for me!

I’m still happy and still find things to laugh hysterically about everyday! I love being easily amused! 😀

"Money talks
But it don't sing and dance
And it don't walk
And long as I can have you
Here with me, I'd much rather be
Forever in blue jeans"

mobile:

desktop:

"Honey's sweet
But it ain't nothin' next to baby's treat
And if you pardon me
I'd like to say
We'll do okay
Forever in blue jeans"

Lol

~Hugs~

Much love & light, always. ❤ ❤ 

xoxo Kim