Sometimes it’s like someone took a knife Baby, edgy and dull And cut a six-inch valley Through the middle of my skull 🖤
(Scroll to the very end if you want to know what happened to me but don’t want to read all this lol)
This post was meant for Wednesday, I wrote it on Wednesday. I was too drained to post it. Then I never got around to it on Thursday.
One moment I’m on top of the world and full of life, and the next moment, I’m suddenly laying there being sliced open by a surgeon’s scalpel.
I’m in worse pain than Wednesday & Thursday. And I’m concerned I may have an infection after unexpected surgery. I’m waiting for them to get back to me.
Here is my Wednesday post:
This is what I looked like this morning, thinking I was all sexy and about to conquer the day ahead of me, looking and feeling like a goddess while I was at it. I felt on top of the world, my body felt perfect and young, I expected to stay that way for the whole day. But the day had other plans and decided to kick my ass down to the ground when I least expected it, and then trample all over me as I laid there helpless and bleeding. I got back up, but I’m struggling to stay standing.
I don’t look or feel like this anymore. Now I’m all battered and bloodied and broken, in pj’s, and in extreme pain. And this is no metaphor! I’m literally battered and bloody and broken. (No, I did not fall in these stilettos, I can walk very well in them 🤣)
This is the kind of experience that inspires me to feel a sense of Oneness with all sentient life and reminds me that I can never ever imagine wishing suffering on even a bad person. There’s not one person or any living being on Earth who I could ever wish this on. Not only that, but I would go to the ends of the Earth to stop it, even if I had to take on some of that pain, myself.
I can’t bear the thought of anyone suffering like this or worse.
This is bitter agony. And I am begging the uni-verse for mercy.
The only worse experience I have had are the migraine-like headaches I get, that I haven’t had in a year, after I found out that stretches can prevent them.
Warning ⚠️ Gross content ahead, read at the risk of losing your appetite, or if you’re a really queasy person, maybe even losing your lunch. 😆
Thankfully, I have a strong stomach and brass ovaries. Because that’s what it took to survive this very unexpected ordeal today.
I walked into my dentist appointment this morning (Wednesday) that was scheduled as a consultation where they were going to just look in my mouth and decide a future treatment plan, and then send me on my way…..but instead I walked out hours later with……
EIGHTEEN less teeth than I walked in with.
That’s right. I had 18 teeth extracted today, one right after the other, no breaks. Totally unexpectedly.
It was brutal.
They asked me if it would be ok for them to just pull out every problem tooth today. I enthusiastically said go for it! It ended up being 18. Actually, some of those teeth were good. But they were in places not compatible with partial dentures. They said the same thing another dental place told me. Better to just have them all gone and get full dentures.
There was one point when I was overcome with real gratitude that I’m a woman because I’m sure no man could handle this. Lol I literally thought that as I was laying in the chair.
The oral surgeon, who has been one for decades, said it was emotionally difficult for him that this was happening to me. I guess he’s especially empathetic. Lol One of the dentists asked me if I was doing ok, and he said he’s the one who should be asked that 😆
The dentists kept asking each other if they needed a break because it was so grueling (it took multiple people at once to do my work). But we all just breezed through it as best as we could.
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If you have a weak stomach, read no further. Here is the gross part:
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I could feel, hear, and smell my bone being sawed out of my head. And they set the bone on my chest lol Imagine smelling the sawing of human bone. Bone fragments or dust was flying all around as the surgeon was drilling away. I warned you it was going to be gross lol (I actually wasn’t grossed out, but I knew others would be)
I don’t know if the anesthesia wore off or what, but it was one of the more worse pains you can imagine. It felt like a neverending nightmare. At some points I wondered how much a human can endure. The bone cracking and then being sawed. I felt every bit of it.
Some of my teeth were hard to get out and were snapping. They had to keep taking small pieces out. It was challenging for them.
I heard and felt it. Unlike with the bone, the breaking itself wasn’t painful, but it was sending severe pain through my head, face, ears, and jaw, and places I couldn’t even identify, somewhere deep inside, places local anesthesia doesn’t touch. Sometimes it felt like electricity sizzling through my face. It would make me impulsively slide down the chair in pain, and they would have to pull me back up.
They had to do unexpected surgery during the extractions to find broken pieces deep in my gums. So they cut me open with a scalpel. Deep into my gums and tissue. I heard the surgeon say “Hand me the scalpel.” 😳 Imagine seeing a surgeon’s scalpel coming at your face. I don’t know which was worse, that, or the saw Lol
My face was covered in blood, and blood was running down my gown. It was all over my face because of their instruments as they moved them around my face. The blood was dripping off them, onto me. They had to clean my face off and stitch my whole mouth up.
My lips are dry and cracked. The corners of my mouth are sliced (it was nothing they did wrong, their instruments just had to keep leaning there very roughly when pulling the teeth out.)
My face was a wreck, they gave me a mask to wear, walking out, so the other patients wouldn’t see.
My mouth was still bleeding as I was walking up a street. I had to stop and spit blood into a trash can in public as people walked by. It was running down my chin and chest. So that was awkward. I was hoping no one would think I was vomiting blood.
My mouth is a bloodied mangled mess. It tastes like blood. There’s bones sticking out of my face. My face is swollen. It’s all tender. It’s hot and feverish, and it feels like a heartbeat throughout my face. It’s throbbing and pulsing. All the teeth in my mouth ache like the worst toothache (I get to keep my lower front teeth, they are perfect)
I had the option of going under general anesthesia or being gassed. I said nah, I wanted to be awake and in my normal state for it. Sooner than halfway through, I wondered if that was a mistake 🤣 Not really, I’m glad I got to experience it. I don’t want to miss a thing.
But I did think “I could have been sound asleep at this moment, completely unaware of the torture.”
Come to think of it, this can legit count as torture, like in a horror movie or book. You know, ripping out the victim’s teeth and sawing off their bones, while they’re alive. No doubt, there’s a fiction book or movie out there just like that.
They said they were amazed at how I just sucked it up with no complaints, no crying, no noises, no cursing (even one of the dentists was cursing. She said my teeth were making her job difficult {she was saying it in a playful way, but it was true} She said “I can’t get this little bitch ass tooth out!!!” 🤣)…
The oral surgeon in charge told me I’m amazing and said he would have never allowed anyone to take that amount of teeth out of his mouth at once, especially while awake, and that he can’t believe I had the guts (Like I said, men just couldn’t deal). Lol I took that as a compliment. He also called me a “good girl” and told me he wished he had a sticker to give me for doing amazing 😆 I felt six years old. Lol I’m 40 years old, and he said it literally the way you would say it to a young child. He seems to be probably 60+ years old, maybe closer to 70 years old.
They told me again as I was leaving how amazing my reaction was. Which was no reaction. I just laid back and took it.
For the most part.
At some points I did shrivel up and wiggle almost off the chair, in pain and discomfort lol One of the dentists put her arms around me and held me during some of the most difficult parts.
They all kept saying positive and encouraging and soothing things, and singing to me and telling jokes, to help me endure it. The dentists squeezed and rubbed my arms during especially painful or uncomfortable parts. They called me pet names and told me I got this. They were extremely attentive to my pain and tried to make it hurt as little as possible and help me cope when they couldn’t reduce the pain or discomfort.
This is one reason I’m thankful I was awake, to experience that kindness. I would have never known that love of complete strangers if I was asleep. It fills me with warmth.
They had such empathy. None of them had this happen to them, yet they understood my pain and discomfort. The older doctor kept reminding them that as terrible as it seemed to them, it’s even worse to the patient.
It was more difficult emotionally and physically than I thought it would be. Just one or two teeth being extracted never fazed me. Eighteen, and with some complications, is a whole other experience.
Some of the pain and discomfort can’t be avoided during the procedures. And some parts are incredibly painful. The kind that makes you want to jump out of your body to escape it. One of those moments is when they stick the largest needle you can ever imagine right into the back of the mouth, towards the throat. Incredible pain just shoots through the face and head. Thankfully I’m not afraid of needles.
They kept telling me to wiggle my toes, and during the especially terrible parts, to wiggle my fingers and my toes and don’t stop and just focus on the wiggling. I found that helpful.
My oral surgeon, the senior dentist in charge, the one I mentioned above, said he knew it was worse for me, but that he was feeling it emotionally, having to do this level of difficult work on a patient. And he’s not even the one who did most of it, two younger dentists did lol
Off and on, I am lightheaded and feel like I may pass out. This is the kind of pain that warrants prescription pain meds. But they don’t give them for it. For some reason, it also gave me a sore throat. My tonsils hurt.
I’m physically hungry, but I have no appetite. And that is unheard of. I live to eat. 🤣 And I can’t eat anything except soft, cold stuff for a week, they said ice cream, pudding, jello, yogurt…. They said heat can do damage to my mouth before it’s healed to a certain point (except warm salt water I have to clean my mouth with each day). But I’m hungry for “real food,” not sweet stuff.
I have to eat nothing but junk for a week?
This morning I had a big appetite but was running late and couldn’t really eat breakfast. I also wasn’t sure if I was supposed to before a dentist appointment. I only had part of an omelette.
Had no idea then that I wouldn’t be eating again til who knows when. Even when my mouth heals enough to eat anything I want, I’ll have no teeth. Lol So this is fun. Guess I’ll be living on soup and ice cream for half a year.
It hurts to walk, it hurts to talk, it hurts to move, it hurts to drink, it hurts to swallow, it hurts to smile, it hurts to breathe. It hurts to live (lol JK, just trying to be extra dramatic with that one. The other ones I meant, though. Everything hurts!)
I have TMJ dysfunction, and dental work triggers it. It’s excruciating and feels like nerve and tooth pain mixed together. The stitches are gross, I can feel them with my tongue. There are some strings hanging out. It’s just so gross. I hope the stitches fall out sooner than later. And I hope I don’t swallow any string. One dentist told me my body would absorb them, another told me they would fall out. So who knows? It’s also gross to feel pieces of bone sticking my tongue once in a while.
The good news is, all my dental work is done!! Two years at that other place, and literally NOTHING got done. They played around for two years. Two MONTHS at this place, and all my work is already done lol (If you read some of my other posts, you’ll know my last dental place sucked, so I left for here) I don’t need any checkups or followup visits or anything, as long as my mouth heals properly in the next week. It’s great to be all done.
Now in a few months, I just have to get fitted for dentures. They said it can be next month already. But I’m going to wait for a while to be extra sure, because if my gums aren’t healed fully, the dentures won’t fit properly, and I will have to pay for new ones. Sometimes it can take 3-6 months for them to fully heal. I’ll probably wait six months. It’s not worth risking having to pay over $1,000 just to have them sooner.
Also, my TMJ dysfunction that I experience symptoms of off and on for decades, may be gone, and no more pain when chewing! I also won’t have shooting pain anymore when I chew because of exposed nerves.
So, overall, it’s a good thing.
Physically, I’m in agony, and emotionally, I’m spent.
The only semblance of relief I get is when I have something cold in my mouth.
Something tells me I can forget about sleeping tonight lol
This picture background is awkwardly blurred out because it’s not my house. I was house-sitting over night. I like blurring the backgrounds of pictures of me out anyway, unless they’re outside, because I like the scenery. But some pictures are better without the blur, and this is one. But I don’t want to expose someone else’s house.
I’m in bed now, watching the original “Carrie” movie with my boys, eating Chocolate ice cream, and guzzling ice water and Gatorade.
I 100% don’t recommend this experience. Whatever you do, try to hold onto your teeth! Lol
This is Hell if ever there was a Hell.
(For any curious people not interested in reading, I had 18 teeth extracted, unexpectedly, all in one sitting. And it’s not pretty.)
Soft teeth run in my family, and I drank too much soda before bed when I was young, so I guess I’m paying for it now.
Recently, a platelet donation gone wrong landed me in a hospital emergency. There was a complication that usually isn’t dangerous, but I had a worse reaction than usual. So to be safe, I was sent to an ER.
Believe it or not, as bad as this looks, this is not the worst of it. It looks way worse now. It was agony when it first happened. Now it still hurts a lot but not like when it first happened. The pain was astounding.
The needle slipped out of my arm and pierced my vein, and my arm filled with fluids that is irritating my nerves, and building up around my body tissue. It’s called vein infiltration. They were concerned about a possible blod clot or nerve damage. But thankfully, it’s just irritated.
Me in a hospital radiology getting my scans after being admitted lol
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Yes, these are my real boobs. Lol They’re big (disproportionately large, compared to the rest of my body lol A fitness instructor told me that years ago), but I don’t usually take pictures at this angle to show off how big. It looks like I stuffed my bra. But these D cups don’t need stuffing lol
This is a picture of me just after putting my shirt back on after some scans.
Another platelet donor almost passed out, and the nurses had to lay him down on the floor next to me at our platelet donation appointment.
The doctors and nurses were all very kind and kept thanking me for being a platelet donor. The one doctor also happens to be a platelet donor! We are rare, only less than 1%! So it was a coincidence. He was going out of his way to donate platelets at a place that isn’t close. He had no idea about the place right up the street where I donate. It’s easier for him to go there, so now he’s switching! I’m glad we met.
In the U.S, there is an extreme blood shortage. There always is, but sometimes it reaches crisis level, like now.
We need more donors! Yes, I still recommend it, even after this. Lol
The doctors and nurses all took my pain seriously. It’s common for healthcare workers to be dismissive of a patient’s pain, especially if the patient is a woman. So I appreciated their care.
I will go back and donate platelets again when I’m all healed.
I got to attend an amazing event on Friday night! And they gave us free movie theatre popcorn and a drink! I wanted popcorn & soda, but we know how expensive movie theatre food is! Lol So I wasn’t buying anything, then someone told me we all get a free popcorn and fountain drink! I was thrilled like a little girl lol
I watched a documentary on what is considered by researchers to be “extreme altruism.”
The movie was a special viewing only for people who were invited. It was a movie theatre full of people, and we all had assigned seats.
The movie is called Abundant, about “altruistic” kidney and liver donors. People who donate kidneys/livers to strangers are 1 in 1, million. Extremely rare. We hope to change that and inspire more to donate.
It’s really not that “extreme” to help a fellow sentient being in need. Living organ donation is extremely safe. Yeah, there is potential for rare complications, even death of the donor (my dad’s friend died donating his kidney, but that was 30+ years ago. It’s safer than ever now).
But for someone else, there is no maybe. Someone else is dying now, of organ failure. And there are enough living people to stop that for many. Even if all healthy people register as potential deceased organ donors, many still won’t get the life-saving organ they need because most people don’t die under appropriate circumstances for organ harvesting.
The documentary shows the amazing impact of organ donation and what inspires people to donate to strangers, while still alive.
After the movie ended, we got to meet one of the donors in the movie, in person. She was there in the theatre. They surprised us with her in the flesh at the end lol
She donated her kidney to an anonymous stranger and then donated her liver to another anonymous stranger. There are only a few hundred people in the entire world like that. The first person became a double living organ donor in the 1980’s, I think. But they are becoming more common!
This woman has an incredible story to tell that nothing tops. I heard people crying in the audience around me. Lol
The documentary is for the average person to understand why a person would donate a kidney to a total stranger and to try to normalize it and show that it’s not as “heroic” as the average person thinks.
The target audience of this event (not the documentary itself, but this event it was shown at) was the Hispanic and Black/African American communities because they are the people most in need of organ transplants and unfortunately less likely to get the organ they need. Black people are also less likely to donate their organs even after death, because of what is known as earned mistrust of the medical community.
They have been victimized in ways white people haven’t, because of racism. They have a valid reason to be hesitant to donate their organs, even though the fear isn’t warranted. So the movie attempts to dispel myths surrounding organ donation that may especially provoke fear in non-white people.
The movie was shown for National Multicultural Heritage Month.
They had a few free tickets left, and I was offered one, by the Gift of Life Program where I volunteer! 💙💚
This is the website to the movie, which can be purchased. It’s amazing and inspiring. I can’t wait to buy it and watch it again.
If you’re a universal lover or just interested in what it’s like to be one, this documentary may be for you. Many who have seen it said it’s transformative and even life-altering to watch.
Everyone is worth it. ❤️
I’m so happy it’s officially Pumpkin Season in Philadelphia now! (It begins in August!) Pumpkin spice coffee and pastries have been released around the city! 🎃☕️ It’s still like 100° every day and doesn’t quite feel like Fall just yet. It’s all gross and hot and humid and sticky and suffocating.
But we’re getting there slowly but surely! I LOVE sweater weather! Some streets are covered with crunchy leaves already, and when shady & breezy, it does give Fall vibes. And I did notice some brief parts of the day are cooler, and my bedroom is cooler with the air conditioning on now. The other day I was in a park for a meeting that evening, about organ donation, and I was slightly cold! I loved it.
Here’s to pumpkin season! (And “extreme altruism!” Lol)
This is the first one that comes to mind. I made this meme, myself. I remembered a meme with this quote that I encountered in a Buddhist class many, many moons ago. That meme is blurry and not in a good format. I could not find another with this quote, so I made one, myself!
I love this quote. As soon as I encountered it all those years ago, it stirred something in me. It inspired me. I have always held the philosophy that if we have something to give to those in need, it’s best to give it. We don’t have to have a lot to give something. We all have something that someone else needs, even if it’s our time or attention and not something physical.
I’m not always friendly or kind in my interactions with others. But one thing I always know is, underneath, we share the experience of sentience. If I can stop someone’s suffering, I will.
Sometimes, the pain of others can be overwhelming and drag us down, but instead, it can inspire us to act for the benefit of others. It can be in small things we do each day, or the paid work we do, or volunteer work. If ever you feel overwhelmed by empathy, maybe let it motivate you to reach out and love someone.
In February 2015, I took the Bodhisattva vows with a Buddhist Monk. I have broken them again and again. But still, I think of them as my anchor, and I always find my way back to them and see them as a lifelong goal to always reach for.
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❤️And on a funnier note…😆💯 I’m planning to get this on a shirt one day lol
These are just a few of my favorite memes. 😍 I can’t choose just one!
The Carnegie Medal is a prestigious award considered one of the highest civilian honors in the U.S. and Canada.
I love this!!
There’s a medal of honor awarded to “ordinary” people who legit risk or even give their own lives or risk very serious bodily injury, to save another person’s life, often the life of a stranger.
They have to risk their own life to an extraordinary degree, to be considered for the award.
They said there are around 800 nominations a year, and only 11% are accepted to receive the medal of honor. That is amazing, though, that at least 800 people a year go to great lengths to save someone else’s life, even at the risk of their own.
They don’t just potentially risk their lives but actually have a significant risk of dying or experiencing serious bodily trauma.
To receive the award, the victim or survivor has to have been in a situation where their life was in imminent danger, where they would have died right then, if not for the person who saved them.
I’m reading a book about the science and psychology of altruism, and the Carnegie Hero Medal is mentioned. I heard of it before, but I decided to look it up now.
It’s very interesting. The website has many stories of people who were given this medal. Anyone can nominate anyone we want for it. The incident has to have been in the last two years, and the victim and “hero” had to have both been within inches of death. In some cases, the “hero” does die and receives the medal posthumously.
To receive the award, they have to come so close to dying that it’s a wonder they’re still alive. They don’t have to be injured, but many are. There has to be witnesses and/or media reports to confirm the incident really happened and is extraordinary enough to warrant receiving a medal.
They have to be people who risk their own life not as part of their job but out of the goodness of their heart, for no reason other than to save another human. And they have to know their own life is significantly at risk, to receive the medal.
I was skimming through the stories, there are hundreds. It is truly amazing and so heartwarming to read the lengths that people will go to save a stranger’s life. It looks like most of them are men. I was skimming through the list, and saw hundreds, and saw only one woman “hero.” That’s probably because men are more likely to take risks and are more likely to engage in physical things because of social programming.
They are also usually physically stronger. All of these situations are very physical. Many drowning incidents and pulling people out of burning buildings and vehicles and tackling assailants who are assaulting women.
There are probably more women/girls on the list, I haven’t looked at them all. A while ago, I did read a story about a 16 year old girl who received this medal for saving a drowning man. Jumped in and carried him out of an ocean.
There’s one where a stranger saved a man and his dog who were almost electrocuted. The dog bit him when he was saving them lol To receive the award, the victim/survivor has to be human.
One of the “heroes” is as young as 10 years old (he saved another child’s life). One is a 15 year old boy, he ran into a burning building to save a family in the middle of the night when he saw the flames across the street while he was staying in a motel with his dad. His dad was trying to convince him not to go through with it, but the boy wouldn’t listen. And he saved an entire family. He ran in like a super hero and woke them and pulled them out. The story is wild! The boy was injured by smoke inhalation. Everyone involved survived.
There were three teenagers who broke into a burning car and pulled out two women who were trapped. They went into the car after getting the women out, to make sure no one else was in there on the floor or anything. The car was burning down and could have exploded with them inside. One man gave his life for a stranger who was being attacked. She lived.
Just scroll through the list and read a few if you want to be inspired and have your faith in at least some of humanity restored. It’s a reminder that exceptionally good and brave people are among us. Ordinary angels!
It’s amazing and uplifting to see the extent people will go to save complete strangers, even knowing there is a very good chance they themselves will die trying. We see so much negativity in the news and on social media. So much violence inflicted on humans by other humans, wishing death on each other, arguing over politics, just walking by when seeing someone in distress or having an emergency…
Stories and people like the Carnegie medal heroes get overlooked and drowned out in all the negative things.
We need more people caring and more visibility!! 💚
I don’t necessarily recommend risking your own life to save someone else, but I do promote caring more than it seems society currently does and bringing visibility to cases where someone does go to this length, not because they want credit but because it restores our faith in humanity some, and it’s just uplifting and balances out the negative in the world.
Remember what Mr. Rogers said? Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.
I picked up the morning paper the headlines were no surprise a random act of senseless violence was committed again last night it seems the whole world has gone crazy and something needs to be done so starting today, I’m gonna find a way I’m gonna repay someone
With a random act of senseless kindness unexpected hand to help remind us a little bit of love is the cure for hate it’s easy to give up but it’s never too late a single step in the right direction person to person making a connection we can change the world that’s become so violent with a random act of senseless kindness
Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?
❤️
You never know who you may be helping or inspiring, even in difficult situations.
Years ago, I saw a short video clip with an elementary school teacher sharing his true experience with a troubled little boy.
He said the boy was very difficult. He yelled at the teacher and wouldn’t do his work. He was disruptive in class and was always verbally aggressive with the teacher. He could tell the boy hated him. It never stopped all year, the boy acting up and being rude & negative to the teacher.
He showed the boy nothing but love & kindness in return. He was always patient and tried to be as understanding as possible, but he said it was difficult. All throughout the yelling and disrupting the class and rudeness the little boy displayed, the teacher’s love never wavered.
At the end of the year, the kids all gave him a card, thanking him for being their teacher and for being kind & helpful.
He sat at his desk and read all the cards after the last class was over and all the kids walked out that one last time.
All the messages the kids wrote were positive. Then, he got to the card that difficult little boy wrote to him.
The teacher said he was anxious to open it. He hesitated and thought “Oh no, what is this one going to say.” He already knew it would be an insult or something like “I hate you, you were the worst teacher.”
Finally, he opened it and read. The teacher was shocked.
It read: “I wish you were my dad.”
He was deeply moved by just that one line.
That story stayed with me since I heard it many years ago. I’m not sure why. It’s a recurring memory through the years. It’s probably the best story I ever heard.
That must have been the best and most heartbreaking compliment that man ever received.
It just goes to show how our own life can touch someone’s else’s for the better, even in the least expected places. ❤️
My story was selected to be shared on “Share Your Wishes,” a UK based organ donation org. March is Kidney Month, and they were sharing one kidney transplant/donation story a day, all month long.
I’m honored that mine was chosen! 💚💙
Kidney Month is over, but it’s still Donate Life Month! So, I’m sharing here. It’s late but still relevant!
“Kim shares her story in the hope that it will encourage even just one person to consider becoming a living organ donor, and register as a donor too, as both are equally important and very desperately needed.“
“On 16th January 2024, at 37 years old, I donated one of my kidneys to a stranger. It was a lifelong dream of mine since I read a true story, almost two decades earlier, about a man who donated one of his kidneys to an anonymous stranger. I thought it was the most beautiful thing, someone giving a literal piece of himself to save another struggling human.
It deeply resonated with me. I always had the gift of perfect health and wanted someone else to have even just a little bit of what I have. It made perfect sense, if I have more than enough of something, to give some to someone who doesn’t have enough. As soon as I read that story, I knew it would be me one day giving my kidney to a person in need. Nearly, twenty years later, it was! That beautiful story stayed with me for all those years until I finally got around to making that decision. It was a very easy decision for me to make once all my life circumstances aligned for it to all work out. There was never any hesitation or reconsidering. It was my calling.
I knew that the potential benefits to a kidney recipient outweighed any of the rare potential risks to myself and that even if I did experience a complication at some point, at least it would be because I tried to help someone. I could never regret it.
I knew that maybe I would experience a rare complication, but someone in need of a new kidney did not have the luxury of “maybe” that I had. Someone else was already suffering complications of an illness that I could potentially help.Taking on some of someone else’s pain for a while, to potentially give that person a whole life, was more than worth it.
I did not care who received my kidney. It was a gift given out of love for my fellow human and sentient being. My only hope was to relieve a little bit of the suffering in the world. The less suffering, the better for the whole world.
In the U.S., we have The National Kidney Registry. Through the Registry, we can donate our kidney to an anonymous stranger they choose for us and receive a kidney voucher to give to anyone in the country we choose, usually a friend or family member. That person usually gets a new kidney soon after the donor’s surgery, often in a matter of months.
In my case, I did not know anyone who needed a new kidney, so I decided to look for another stranger to give the voucher to. I just happened to hear about a man in my location who was in urgent need of a new kidney. I looked up his family on social media and offered the kidney voucher, or my actual kidney, if we happened to be a match. No recipient was chosen for me yet.
Coincidentally, we turned out to be a match and only lived fifteen minutes apart! It turned out he wasn’t cleared for transplant yet, though, and still had more work to be done before he could have a transplant.
So, I continued with non-directed donation and gave my kidney to whoever in the Registry could use it. That person’s transplant was an immediate success! I have no contact with him and no information about him other than that he’s a 50 something year old man. I hope that one day we can meet or exchange a letter!
A year after my non-directed kidney donation, the man I gave the kidney voucher to, Greg, received his new kidney through my donation to the anonymous stranger. His transplant was also a success, and he is doing amazing! He felt his new kidney working instantly. He got his whole life back after being so sick for years on dialysis. He is able to work again, eat his favorite foods, go out with friends, volunteer for organ donation, and work on his dream of becoming a dialysis tech to help others in the position he was once in.
We have become great friends and meet up for breakfast and do organ donation volunteer work and attend organ donation events together. We love to bring awareness to living donation and organ donation in general.
I’m thankful that my one donation saved two lives. I think of both of my recipients as my kidney brothers.
My evaluation process to see if I was physically & emotionally healthy enough to donate my kidney, took six months. I loved every second of it. My donation surgery was flawless. I had a smooth & quick recovery. Very little pain and no fatigue. I did not even need Tylenol! No pain meds at all. I was out of work for recovery for three months only because my job is very physical, but I felt like my usual self after only two weeks!
Two years after my kidney donation, I am just as healthy as with two kidneys! I have a medical test once a year to check my kidney function. My recent results showed that my kidney is functioning as well as it possibly could. I have just as much energy and walk 10+ hours a day. I’m a pet nanny/dogwalker for work. I would never know I had surgery or only have one kidney. Nothing at all changed, physically. My scars have (unfortunately! I love them!) faded. I have one lifelong restriction with one kidney, and that is NSAIDS/Natural vitamin supplements. I’m recommended to avoid those.
I have become an organ donor ambassador with The Gift of Life Program where I live, doing volunteer work to bring awareness to organ donation. Organ donation is a beautiful thing that is so life-affirming. So many people, the donors (living and deceased, alike), the donor families, the healthcare workers, and everyone who advocates for the recipients, come together and go to great lengths to save one life.
Donating my kidney expanded my life perspective and showed me just how powerful each of our lives are. Any choice we make, good or bad, has a boundless & unfathomable ripple effect and will change the world in some way.
Anything my kidney recipient/s go on to do in life is something that never would have happened if I did not donate my kidney. They’ll go on to touch more lives, develop relationships, do work and acts of kindness. Even way into the distant future, when my recipients and me are no longer here, the impact of my kidney donation could still be existing.
This goes for any choice we make in life. It will have an impact we can’t foresee and may never know. I never realized this to this extent until I gave my kidney to save a stranger’s life. It’s the most enlightening thing!
Donating my kidney is the best thing I ever did. The sense of relevance and joy and importance never fade, no matter how much time goes by.
I love being part of the whole organ donation family and feel a sense of kinship with all associated with organ donation in any way.
I truly, inadvertently, gave the absolute best gift to myself when I gave the gift of life to someone else. At the end of this life, whenever it may be, this one decision alone makes my whole life a success.
I would make the same decision again & again. I see my experience with the perspective of this amazing thing I got to experience more than look at this amazing thing I did for someone else. It’s better than I ever imagined it would be.
My kidney donation has given me this whole family, a new friend, an expanded life perspective, and most of all, the gift of seeing someone’s whole life change, dramatically, for the best.
Even though it wasn’t my intention or expectation, my experience with kidney donation truly has given me just as much as it has given those who received the gift of life out of it. It has become an essential part of my identity.
In the USA there are over 100,000 people waiting for a life-saving organ, over 90,000 of them are waiting for a new kidney. A healthy person with two kidneys can get one of them off that waiting list and off of dialysis with little to no cost to us.
If I could, I would give a kidney to every person in need! 💚”
Please #ShareYourWishes about your #organdonation decisions with your loved ones, say #YesIDonate and register your decisionNHS Organ Donationtion
Every February 14th, we celebrate & honor organ donors (and donor families), registered donors, & the beautiful, selfless gift they give or intend to give. The gift of life. ❤️
Yes!
I said yes to organ donation in life & in death.
I am a living donor, a registered potential deceased donor, the friend of an organ recipient, and the daughter of a parent with organ failure, in urgent need of a liver transplant. So, organ donation is something I’m touched by, directly, but even before that, I was a passionate advocate for organ donation.
That’s why I chose to become a living donor when I had no ties to it, personally, yet. I just always thought it’s the most beautiful, ultimate act of love to another human, giving a literal piece of ourselves. Since I was a little girl, I wanted to be an organ (and blood) donor.
Over 100,000 people are waiting for a life-saving organ.
Only around 1%-2% of the population becomes a deceased organ donor, and less than 0.1% of the general population are living donors.
Approximately 29% of organ donors are living ones.
Around 60% are registered as potential deceased donors (We need more!!). And over 90% of the population supports organ donation, including all major religions.
I am a volunteer organ donor ambassador with the Gift of Life Program here in Philadelphia. I did the training in 2024, the same year I donated my kidney. I work to bring visibility to organ donation and educate people on the topic.
I LOVE my volunteer job. I love being part of this community, doing work that helps literally save lives, and the whole donor/transplant community. I have the privilege of meeting and working with many recipients/recipient families, donor families, those waiting for a new organ, and other living donors.
Recently, I attended one of their summits where I got this sign.
Here’s a tribute/shoutout to all the organ donors & registered donors and especially all the donor families out there who said YES to saving lives, in their own darkest moment.
I always knew donor families are amazing, but I especially realized just how amazing they are after my dad got sick. My dad won’t live long enough to get a deceased donor liver. But all those donor families out there still said YES to saving my dad and others in need like him.
Anyone can say yes or no to organ donation, but the family gets the ultimate say and are the ones who actively make the decision for the deceased donor. A significant amount of families with the opportunity to donate their family member’s organs but say no, regret it three months later. They wish they would have said yes, but were too distraught in the moment. After the initial stage of grief & shock, they realize they would have said yes. I learned this during the ambassador summit.
The most selfless thing someone can do is register as a potential organ donor. Deceased donors get absolutely nothing in return for their incredible act of love. Unlike living donors, they don’t even get to experience the joy of helping someone. People register as organ donors purely to help another human with no possibility of any benefits to themselves.
To register as a potential deceased donor, click on this link.
You can donate to an anonymous stranger here, or if you know someone in need, you can donate for them through here.
To choose your own recipient (stranger) as a living donor:
MatchingDonors.com
This is like a dating profile but to look for your perfect donor/recipient dna match. Most of them are looking for kidneys and livers, mostly kidneys.
You can make an account as a donor and browse the recipient ones, see their pictures, read their stories. If you’re moved by any of them, you can reach out and offer to be evaluated to give them your organ that they need. (Likely a kidney or portion of your liver)
I tried this many years ago, years before donating my kidney. And just couldn’t. I couldn’t choose who gets to live out of so many. They flooded my inbox like sharks on blood as soon as I opened an account. They were imploring for my kidney and sending me pictures of themselves with their kids and grandkids and telling me why it should be them who gets my kidney.
It was devastating. Some of the pictures are still burned into my memory so vividly, today. Pictures of young parents kissing their kids, pictures of old people hugging their grandkids, a picture of a young ER nurse in need of a new kidney, in her blue hospital scrubs at work, asking me to save her life so she can continue to save others, a picture of a baby in his crib with a big smile on his face, a picture of a young dad and his kids in a park with the biggest smiles…How could I possibly choose?
I wasn’t even sure I was going to choose my own recipient and was just trying it out. I had no idea potential recipients would flood my inbox, telling me how much they don’t want to die, and pleading for me to let them live.
They were all ages, infants up to 80+ years old. Most were searching for themselves, others were searching for a family member or friend in need. All of them tugged on my heartstrings, some more than others. But I couldn’t choose.
I came close to choosing one. A 50 something year old man, the dad of two adult daughters. He was too humble to request a kidney for himself, so his daughters were for him. I wrote a message that I was going to send to his daughters.
But, then, I just couldn’t choose.
That’s when I knew for sure that non-directed kidney donation was for me. It always resonated with me more, anyway. Just tossing my kidney out to whoever catches it.
I closed the account. It still haunts me today.
Years later, my kidney was given to an anonymous 50 something year old man through a non-directed donation.
Anyone interested in donating to a stranger of your choice can sign up through that link.
If you choose someone and you’re not a match, you may be able to do paired exchange or the voucher program where you donate to an anonymous stranger chosen for you, so the person of your choice gets an organ through your donation.
We’ll never have enough deceased donors because almost no one dies under the appropriate circumstances. Even if everyone in the world registered as a potential organ donor, there would be an extreme shortage of organs for those in need. More people registering would help, though. So, living donors are very much needed.
We especially need kidneys. Of the 100,000+ people waiting for a new organ, over 90,000 are waiting for a kidney.
One person can donate two organs while alive! Usually a kidney and portion of the liver. It’s extremely rare. There’s only a few hundred double living donors in the entire world. Not a few hundred a year. A few hundred EVER! Many have donated one organ to a stranger and then another organ later to another stranger. Some donated to a family member or friend and loved the experience so much, they went on to donate a different organ to a stranger.
I recommend registering as a deceased donor!! We don’t need our organs when we’re gone and have no use for them, but someone else does.
I’m an atheist, but one of my favorite quotes has always been “Don’t take your organs to Heaven, Heaven knows we need them here.”
Happy, Happy Birthday, Lefty!! 🫘💚💙 And many, many more!! 🥳🎊🎉🍻 🎂
I lit the candle for my dogs because they get special treats for every single special occasion and holiday. As soon as they see a cake with a candle lit, they go wild, yelling for their special treat. They know the words “cake” and “birthday.” So, this was a “birthday” for them, too. Lol
“To save one life, it’s as if you saved the world.”
(Content warning ⚠️: There’s a picture of a human kidney in this post at the end lol)
January 16th.
My favorite day of the year! The one day a year where it’s still appropriate for me to brag years later 😆 To everyone else, it’s old news now, but, to me, it never gets old lol
Each day leading up to 1/16, I can’t wait. It’s like having two birthdays, except even better. I even buy myself a cake and gift to celebrate the best thing I ever did.
On 1/16/2024, I donated one of my kidneys to a stranger.
It was my calling and lifelong dream.
It was a gift given out of love for my fellow human & sentient being without care about what person were to receive it. The less suffering in the world, the better.
I knew the potential benefits to a recipient outweigh the rare potential short-term & long-term risks to myself. And even if I were to experience one, at least it’s because I tried to help someone. I could never regret it (Unless I find out he’s a Cowboys fan 😆 JK, I always have to throw that joke in somewhere, I even wrote it in my thank you letter to my transplant team lol)
My decision was inspired by a true story I read many years before, about a man who donated his kidney to an anonymous stranger. I thought it was the most beautiful thing I ever read, to give a literal piece of himself to save another.
I instantly knew I would do the same one day. Almost two decades later, I did! If I have more than enough of something for me, it makes complete sense to give some to someone who needs it.
Two men were saved through my one kidney donation. I volunteered to give my kidney to whoever needed it and was a match for me. It was an anonymous donation that was given to “the next person on the wait list.”
I share a set of kidneys with a 50 something year old man in Minnesota. I love to joke that I’m in two places at once and can pee for two 😆
Because I donated through the National Kidney Registry, I was given a kidney voucher to give to anyone in the country I wanted. I chose someone who wasn’t close enough to the top of the deceased wait list but was in urgent need. I did not know anyone who needed a new kidney and so gave it to another stranger I heard needed one.
He was brought into the system to receive an anonymous living donor kidney because I gave him the voucher. He got the kidney of a living person who was donating for someone who isn’t a match for that person.
My kidney voucher recipient, Greg, received his new kidney just over a year after my non-directed donation!
Coincidentally, we live only fifteen minutes apart and are a match!
So, I was going to donate to him directly, before an anonymous recipient was chosen for me. But, he had some more work before being cleared for transplant, so I moved forward with non-directed donation.
We are now good in-person friends!
We have similar views and values and some similar interests and sense of humor. I wasn’t planning on becoming friends with either of my recipients. Just planned on helping someone and going on my way with no strings attached. But we have become good friends and turned out to have much in common!
I have no contact with the person who has the kidney I gave. Maybe one day!
I think of both of my recipients as my kidney brothers. 💙
It was and still is the most incredible thing I ever did. I had no idea the significant change it would inspire in me. A change that has become even more prominent as the years go by.
My intention was only to help someone, but in the process, it also changed me for the better.
No one else can see it on the outside, but on the inside, I am forever changed. It has become so much an ingrained & essential part of my identity that it’s like I wouldn’t even be the me I am now without this experience. Sometimes, it’s like nothing else even matters when I think of it.
It serves as a kind of buffer against the stresses and disappointments and tragedies of life. Whenever I feel something dragging me down, I remember this, and it pulls me right back up. It brings me comfort in situations where I would be inconsolable. When my depression flares up with feelings of worthlessness & insecurity, I remember my own life literally, physically, saved someone else’s, and am reminded of how powerful & valuable each life is, and I push through, knowing I can do even more good.
When I look around at all the tragedy & destruction in the world, all the hatred and wrongs and evil, I am reminded that I did the absolute best I could to counter that, by loving my fellow humans in the ultimate way there is to love: Showing them that their own life matters enough for me to risk my own to save theirs, no matter who they are.
I’m like a colorful 3d version of what used to be a grey stick figure. It made me better in a general way. Even when I’m not consciously thinking about it, I can feel it.
It’s not that I was unhappy before or anything like that, it’s just the experience added so much depth to me in a way that’s unimaginable & indescribable. But I tried my best to put it into words.
I wrote a very long (you know me with the paragraphs long essays 😆) thank you letter to my transplant team at Penn Hospital before being released as a patient recently (we stay a patient for two years after our donation surgery). They loved it.
I would like to share part of that letter here:
I used to think of living kidney donation in a limited way, that it helps someone live, and their friends and family get to still have them around. And that was motivation enough for me to regift one of mine.
But, after this experience, I began to realize it’s so much more expansive than that. Countless things are going to happen when a person’s life is saved or changed that would never happen if they weren’t saved or changed for the better. It has an unfathomable and boundless ripple effect.
That person will go on to do things that will contribute to an infinite amount of other things. They’ll do work, engage in acts of kindness, have many encounters with various people, develop relationships, maybe have kids, and those kids will do an infinite number of things, on & on. When one person is saved, their life will have a limitless impact on the world, there’s no telling how many more will be helped, touched, or saved in various ways because that one person’s life was spared.
Even way into the very distant future, the impact of our choice to donate our kidney could still be existing even if it doesn’t involve the recipient or donor anymore. This isn’t just true for organ donation but any choice we make. Any choice, good or bad, any act of kindness, can have a lasting effect we can’t foresee and may never know.
This is true for every single one of us. We all impact everything around us in ways we may never know. Each impact we have will go on to create more effects. On & on & on.
The decision we make to give life doesn’t only help our organ recipient and voucher recipient, if we have one, but every single life they go on to touch.
We have no idea how powerful our own life is, no matter who we are or what we do. Every little thing we do touches someone or something for better or for worse.
If the thread that is us was missing, the uni-verse would not be the same. Part of it would unravel. We’re all connected in an infinite amount of intricate ways we’ll never fully understand. We’re all a thread in the tapestry of life, holding each other together.
After giving my kidney to save a stranger’s life, I understand this now in a deep way I never did before. It’s so enlightening.
I love being part of the whole organ donation family and feel a sense of kinship & belonging with all the other donors, donor families, recipients, and their families.
My body “lost” a kidney, but I received so much more in return.
My kidney donation has given me this whole family, a new friend, an expanded life perspective, and most of all, the gift of seeing someone’s whole life change, dramatically, for the best.
Even though it wasn’t my intention or expectation, my experience with kidney donation truly has given me just as much as it has given those who received the gift of life out of it.
💚
That’s an “excerpt” out of my thank you letter to my healthcare team.
I dropped off a copy of it in person along with gifts, and gave six of the team members a copy, personally, the ones I worked with most closely. They were so thankful and said they were blown away!
My surgeon called me and asked for my permission to share it in a mass e-mail within the Penn network lol Of course, I said yes!
It took MANY people to come together to save the two who were saved by my kidney donation, not just me. It took their friends & family & others advocating for them and helping with resources, and all the healthcare workers involved. Both of them received a kidney not only because of me but because someone else donated a kidney also.
The man who shares my set of kidneys with me received mine because someone donated theirs for him to get mine. If it wasn’t for Greg’s family & friends sharing his need for a new kidney, that information would have never reached me.
That’s the beautiful thing about organ donation & kidney chains, it’s so life-affirming and shows just how valuable one life is, that countless people go to great lengths to save that life.
I get all the credit (lol), but, truly, we ALL played an equally crucial role. If just one of us was missing, things would be significantly different. It’s possible someone may not even be here today.
It’s a beautiful thing to be a small part of.
The scars have faded. But the joy and sense of relevance never fade no matter how much time goes by. It’s not on my mind as much as in the beginning, but it’s always with me, and when thoughts of it or reminders pop up, it’s like an instant dopamine surge. Like being in love & walking on air.
I truly, inadvertently, gave the absolute best gift to myself when I gave the gift of life to someone else.
At the end of this life, whenever it may be, this one decision alone makes my whole life a success.
I would make the same decision again & again.
I also thank my transplant team at Penn for trusting me to donate my kidney! I take the best care of my remaining kidney and am overly cautious with it. I don’t ingest anything that can hurt it without checking first and make sure to water it regularly!
I am just as healthy with one kidney as with two.
I share my story for three reasons, because it makes me happy, because it uplifts others to read/hear (who doesn’t like a good Hallmark-like story 😆), and because it brings visibility to organ donation and may hopefully inspire even just one person to become a living donor and/or register as a potential deceased donor.
There are a couple of people alive today because I read that story many years ago. If I just heard we can donate our kidney to a stranger, I may not have, I’m not sure. But reading a true story about someone, personally, who did, it made me see something in myself like that person and motivated me even years later.
You never know who you or your life may be inspiring!
I see my experience with the perspective of this amazing thing I got to experience more than look at this amazing thing I did for someone else. It’s better than I ever imagined it would be.
And two years later, it makes me even happier than when I first donated my kidney because it took a while to process and finally fully sink in, this profound & rare thing I did, because I have since become an organ donor ambassador with the Gift of Life Program in Philadelphia, bringing awareness to organ donation, and get to work with and connect with others who share my passion, and because now my kidney voucher recipient got his new kidney, and because we are now friends, which we weren’t really in the beginning.
We attend organ donation events together, living donor celebrations, do 3k walks for organ donation/kidney disease awareness…It just gets better & better.
Cheers to my kidney twin in Minnesota, and Happy Kidneyversary!! 🥂🎉🎊
Many, many more for the both of us 💚
Also, will celebrate my other kidney brother’s Kidneyversary coming up in early February!!
This is a thank you letter I wrote to my kidney/organ transplant team and printed it out and took it to the transplant center at the hospital and dropped it off for them recently, with some small thank you gifts & cards. A few of them called me on their own cell phones to tell me how moved & uplifted they were by my story and gifts. They said it made their holiday season and even whole year. I even remember one of them using the term “blown away.” Lol They knew some details of my situation but not our whole story. My kidney transplant surgeon, Dr. Parsons, called me to thank me and ask for my permission to share this letter. I said yes!
We are released as a patient two years after our surgery, so in January 2026, I won’t be a patient here anymore. I was a patient here for almost three years, almost a year for my evaluation before surgery and then the two years after. I wanted to express my appreciation for the excellent care and deep compassion of my healthcare team throughout the last few years. And not only for what they did for me, personally, but the work that healthcare workers do for people in general. Healing people and saving lives is one of the best kinds of life work that someone can do. They can be doing anything, and they choose to literally save & enhance lives.
I would like to share the letter here. Everyone who hears or reads our story is amazed. Some even cry. Lol
The staff are a team of doctors, surgeons, nurses, physician assistants, med techs, and some others who are non-medical professionals but help in other ways. I hope to keep in touch with some of them through some of the organ donor events that take place, like the Donor Dash every April and the living donation celebration, hopefully every year.
Here is my letter to the Penn Transplant Institute staff:
To Mary Cate, Lauren, Nurses Cassandra & Ashley, Dr. Parsons, Colleen, and the whole Penn transplant and surgical teams,
Thank you all so much for your help & care throughout my kidney donation journey!! I’m thankful I chose Penn and would do the whole thing all over again & again if I could! I wish I had enough kidneys to give to every single person in need. It’s the best thing I ever did!
Not only did I get to help someone (possibly two people), but I also now have a great friend, which I wasn’t expecting. My kidney voucher recipient, Greg (you may have met/seen him, I brought him to the living donor celebration), and me were strangers when I heard he was in need of a new kidney. I was just planning on helping him and going on my way, no strings attached. But we have since become very good friends and have this unique & rare connection through our experiences that brought us together.
I was already accepted as a non-directed donor and in the process of donating my kidney to just anyone in need when I heard about a man in Philadelphia who was in urgent need of a new kidney. He was on dialysis for years after an unexpected diagnosis of end stage renal disease when he visited a doctor for suddenly feeling unwell.
He had no luck finding a kidney donor and kept getting sicker. Greg and his family were losing hope after years of waiting and failed attempts. A few of his friends & family members began the living donor evaluation process, but none were qualified. He was told it would take many years for a deceased donor. His only hope was a living one.
Greg had many hospital stays and severe complications of dialysis and kidney failure. There are multiple occasions, his family walked out of the hospital after visiting him, not knowing if they would ever see him again. He was constantly exhausted and in pain and getting infections. He had strict fluid & food restrictions and was constantly thirsty.
He had to quit his job because he became too sick to work. His life was in danger, and the quality of it was greatly suffering, and there seemed to be no end to his suffering. He said he spent hours and hours online, trying to find any bit of hope of eventually receiving a kidney transplant, but no hope was found.
His doctors told him he may not live the amount of years it would take for him to receive a deceased donor kidney because of how advanced his illness was. Greg said it was the darkest point in his life, receiving that devastating diagnosis and then getting sicker and sicker, living in a constant state of uncertainty without any glimmer of hope.
His dad and aunt had to become his caretakers and do mundane tasks for him. His family told me his suffering was becoming too much for him to bear and too much for them to have to witness.
Greg was struggling with the effects of dialysis and was in a deep depression. Just before I learned about him, he was on the verge of giving up and told his family he wasn’t sure he could go on much longer like this.
When I heard about him, I looked his family up on social media and sent them a message, introducing myself, and offered him the kidney voucher. I explained that I was already in the process of donating my kidney to just anyone in need, that my evaluation was already complete, and that I had the opportunity to donate the voucher to someone else, so that, if eligible for transplant, that person would be almost guaranteed to get a new kidney through my donation to an anonymous person, and likely somewhat soon, as long as there were no complications with the system or the person’s own situation. I told them I did not know anyone who needed it and would like to offer it to Greg after hearing how sick he was.
Greg and his family never heard of the voucher program and thought I made it up. They did not believe that I would donate my kidney to just anyone or that a complete stranger could just come out of the blue with a kidney for Greg, already qualified and ready for donation. They said it was too good to be true. It took a while to convince them that it wasn’t a joke or a scam.
They wanted to talk to Nurse Cassandra, but she said, even with my consent to break my patient confidentiality, the living donor team never communicates with a potential recipient or recipient family, when I asked for her permission for me to give them her work phone number so that she could tell them anything they wanted to know about me.
They only believed me after I showed them screenshots of my patient portal content, and even then, they were frequently afraid that I would change my mind about donating my kidney. At his family’s request, we got tested to see if we were a match for a possible direct donation. There was no potential recipient chosen for me yet, so I agreed to it.
Coincidentally, we turned out to live only fifteen minutes apart and be a very good match. His transplant team recommended that I donate my kidney directly to him. So, this was our plan for a while, as Greg was preparing to be evaluated for transplant.
But our situation turned out to be where it was better for him to have the voucher. We are both glad about this because then an extra person was potentially helped. Even when Greg was devastated and wasn’t sure he was going to live long enough to receive a new kidney when he found out he couldn’t have mine, he told me more than once he was so happy for the other person who would get my kidney and still tells me he’s glad it worked this way because that person was helped, too.
He remembered the joy and hope it brought him and his family and friends when he thought he was going to receive my kidney and said he was so happy that someone else and their family and friends now got to experience that. His empathy and compassion for others still ran deep even through his own despair.
That’s how I know I found a good one! I have told him, I don’t think in terms of “deserving” or “not deserving,” I want everyone to live and be healthy and don’t care what person/kind of person got my kidney (as long as he’s not a Cowboys fan! Then, I may have had to call the whole thing off or regret it 😆 jk That’s what I like to say when someone asks me what if a “bad person” got my kidney!), but if ever anyone “deserved” it, it would be him.
During his transplant evaluation, it was discovered that the dialysis & complications did severe damage to his heart, and it was a long journey to having that taken care of and being cleared for transplant. His condition was asymptomatic but life-threatening and putting him in imminent danger, even more than the kidney failure. So, he had two life-threatening health conditions at once. His prognosis, he was told, wasn’t good.
At that point, Greg’s healthcare team was not sure that Greg was going to live to be able to have a kidney transplant, they said the odds weren’t in his favor. The doctors he talked to refused to perform the heart surgery he needed because there was a significant chance he wouldn’t survive it. The news was shocking & shattering to Greg and his family. After just being so elated that he was finally getting a second chance to live and be healthy, they were told he may not survive much longer to ever get that chance.
I could have been waiting indefinitely. So, I decided to continue with non-directed donation, which was always my plan anyway and ultimately my preference as I like the idea of a random person being chosen and maximizing the impact by helping two or more. This was more distressing news for them, but I felt it was for the best for all of us. They understood my decision. Greg was devastated, but he chose to keep going and holding onto the sliver of hope he had, knowing he now had the chance, no matter how slim, for a new kidney, a chance that felt impossible before.
I made sure to only list his name on the voucher so him and his family would be assured that it would always be available for him whenever he was ready.
His family said even before we knew if it would all work out, just that little bit of hope I gave him was enough to pull him out of his depression and inspire him to hold on & keep going. It brought a little bit of light into his darkness, and even his physical health got a little bit better while he was still on dialysis because he now saw the possibility of life off of dialysis. He chose to keep focusing on the potential, the life that could be waiting for him at the end of the dark tunnel.
Greg found a heart surgeon who took the risk that no surgeon wanted to take. Even this surgeon was somewhat reluctant. He said he only risked it because Greg had a kidney donor/voucher already. If he wasn’t already so close to receiving a kidney transplant, the doctor would not have taken the chance. But he did, and he fixed Greg’s heart even better than the minimum he thought he could potentially do. Greg’s heart is now in very good condition. And he was placed back into the system for a kidney transplant.
On February 4th, 2025, just over a year after my non-directed donation, Greg received his new kidney and is doing amazing. He got his whole life back. He is especially thrilled because he is the biggest Philadelphia Eagles fan, and his Kidneyversary date turned out to be the anniversary of the 2018 Eagles Superbowl win!
In 2018, long before I met Greg, I bought a Philadelphia Eagles scarf with the date, “February 4th,” on it. In 2025, I dropped it off at Jefferson Hospital as a surprise gift for him after his kidney transplant on February 4th. I chose not to visit him so as not to potentially expose him to germs, but the nurses gave it to him for me. He said it was the best gift he ever received (the kidney being a close second. 😆)
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So, his transplant date is an especially special date for him! We are so happy about that! (And he got home just in time after his transplant to watch the Superbowl win again with his dad! Two big wins for Greg all in the same week, first a successful kidney transplant and then his team winning the Superbowl!)
Now, every year, we get to have two Kidneyversary days to celebrate, his & mine! The day that Greg received his new kidney was the most amazing day, it was like reliving the day I donated mine, except I got to be outside and not in a hospital bed. It was one of my most joyful, surreal experiences. And everything turned out perfectly for him, just like for me.
His doctors told him he’s so healthy now that he can realistically expect to live with his kidney for twenty or more years. They even said he can potentially live thirty more years with it. His transplanted kidney is working as well as it possibly can, and his general health is great.
He can work again after years of being out of work because of his illness. He got his old job back six months after his transplant! He loves his job and coworkers (many of the same ones, along with the same manager, are still there and warmly welcomed him back) and couldn’t wait to work again. He can go to concerts and games with his friends. We attended the Phillies game on Organ Donation Awareness/Gift of Life Night, hosted by the Gift of Life Program, and volunteered with them there to bring visibility to organ donation.
He said it was amazing and surreal that just less than a year ago, he was on dialysis, hardly even able to leave his house, and now he was there at a game, full of energy, and volunteering to help others get the life saving organ they need, just like he did. And he can travel to visit his family in another state. Before, he couldn’t even walk up a street without becoming exhausted.
He had the honor of meeting new friends (he even made a new kidney recipient friend at the living donor celebration!), and discovering a new cafe he loves that we visit frequently for breakfast together (and he doesn’t have many food restrictions and no fluid restrictions[The fluid restriction was one of his worst struggles, he was always extremely thirsty and found it hard to cope with that]. He still keeps his diet very healthy, though).
I have become an organ donor ambassador with the Gift of Life Program, doing volunteer work to bring awareness to organ donation and encourage people to register as potential organ donors. Greg is also planning on doing the training with the Gift of Life Program to become an organ donor ambassador.
Greg is 45 years old, and it’s like life is just beginning for him. He’s full of energy and life and hopes & dreams he wasn’t able to have before. He doesn’t have to spend hours living on a machine and then spend the rest of his days exhausted. He said he feels even healthier than before he got sick. He said he felt a significant difference in his health and energy as soon as he woke up after his transplant. The kidney began working instantly, and the effects were immediate.
He frequently tells me he’s going to pay it forward and make the world a better place, to give thanks for his second chance to live(He even says he wishes he could be a living organ donor now to show his gratitude and help someone else like he was helped. That makes me laugh!). Not that it’s necessary to me because just existing as a sentient being makes someone worthy of health and life, but he said he’s going to be sure to “earn” his new kidney.
Greg wasn’t registered as a potential organ donor, previously, and his experience receiving the gift of life, himself, inspired him to register as one. I find it heartwarming to see how much it changed him for the better and how one act of kindness can inspire so many more.
He makes friends everywhere he goes and is always doing acts of kindness like giving food workers extra big tips. It’s like he has more love & gratitude than he knows what to do with! It’s just overflowing onto everyone around him.
It always fills me with awe to hear the things he can do after being too sick for so long.
For years, Greg wanted to do the Donor Dash 3k walk, but he was too sick. Finally, in 2025, just two months after his kidney transplant, he was able to do the walk. It was his first goal after transplant. And he succeeded! We walked together. He can’t wait until the next walk and is already making plans to design t-shirts for his team. We also did the 2025 Kidney Walk together for the National Kidney Foundation in October!
He is going to begin working on his dream of becoming a dialysis tech to help people in the position he was once in. He said as a former dialysis patient himself, he will know how to comfort, encourage, and uplift the people needing dialysis. It warms my heart to see him so happy and know that, along with many others, I was able to play a part in him fulfilling his dreams and going on to help others.
I used to think of living kidney donation in a limited way, that it helps someone live, and their friends and family get to still have them around. And that was motivation enough for me to regift one of mine.
But, after this experience, I began to realize it’s so much more expansive than that. Countless things are going to happen when a person’s life is saved or changed that would never happen if they weren’t saved or changed for the better. It has an unfathomable and boundless ripple effect.
That person will go on to do things that will contribute to an infinite amount of other things. They’ll do work, engage in acts of kindness, have many encounters with various people, develop relationships, maybe have kids, and those kids will do an infinite number of things, on & on. When one person is saved, their life will have a limitless impact on the world, there’s no telling how many more will be helped, touched, or saved in various ways because that one person’s life was spared.
Even way into the very distant future, the impact of our choice to donate our kidney could still be existing even if it doesn’t involve the recipient or donor anymore. This isn’t just true for organ donation but any choice we make. Any choice, good or bad, any act of kindness, can have a lasting effect we can’t foresee and may never know.
This is true for every single one of us. We all impact everything around us in ways we may never know. Each impact we have will go on to create more effects. On & on & on.
The decision we make to give life doesn’t only help our organ recipient and voucher recipient, if we have one, but every single life they go on to touch.
We have no idea how powerful our own life is, no matter who we are or what we do. Every little thing we do touches someone or something for better or for worse.
If the thread that is us was missing, the uni-verse would not be the same. Part of it would unravel. We’re all connected in an infinite amount of intricate ways we’ll never fully understand. We’re all a thread in the tapestry of life, holding each other together.
After giving my kidney to save a stranger’s life, I understand this now in a deep way I never did before. It’s so enlightening.
Greg and me love our story, and we love to share it (we even found an excuse to share it with our lyft driver once!). There is nothing that either of us would change or wish was different.
He said he lives an almost completely normal life and generally feels like he’s not even sick anymore, other than occasional fatigue that his doctors said is normal for a transplant recipient, and having to take a lot of medication. He has a few side effects, but he said anything is better than dialysis and that he can’t complain.
There are so many seemingly small things he can do that healthy people may not even realize. When we think of someone getting an organ transplant, we often think of the most obvious things like the fact they can now go on vacations or have kids or get to meet their grandkids, or have a career…which is all great.
But there are so many simple joys that are now a reality for them, that are often overlooked by the healthy, like the fact that they can taste their favorite food again or eat ice cream (Greg was thrilled about this!) or not have fluid intake restrictions or can work in their garden, spend holidays at home with family instead of in a hospital, and just go for a walk outside without becoming exhausted.
Greg can now do all of these things and more.
I hope the same is true for my kidney recipient. I frequently think of him. I like to joke that it’s like having a long, lost twin out there somewhere! I was so happy to find out basic information about my kidney recipient when I asked. I had no preference but was a bit curious about the age & gender of the person, but I wasn’t sure it was ok to ask at first. Finding out that I have a “kidney brother” somewhere, was just as amazing as the day I donated my kidney. It made him seem more human in my mind and less an abstract concept, and added more joy to my already joyful experience.
I like to think that I have two kidney brothers. Maybe someday I’ll get to meet/communicate with my other one. But even if not, I’m so thankful for the opportunity to help someone! The joy never fades.
Sharing my kidney is just as much a gift to me as to my recipient/s.
Donating one of my kidneys to a person in need has been my dream for so many years since I read a heartwarming true story in a newspaper or magazine (It was so long ago, that detail is a bit hazy now), about a man who donated his kidney to a stranger. Being a dad inspired him, and he said we’re all the same beyond any differences, and anyone he looked at could be his own son and is just as worthy. It inspired me.
When I read that story, I instantly knew that would be me one day, sharing one of my kidneys with a person in need. Almost two decades later, it was! It just deeply resonated with me. I found it so beautiful to see the lengths that one human would go to save another, giving up a literal piece of himself.
I wasn’t sure when it would happen, but I knew one day, it would. If I have more than enough of something for myself, I see no reason not to give some to someone who doesn’t have enough. I had two perfect kidneys. And I have always been in perfect health. I wanted to share that so someone else can have even just a little bit of what I have. It made complete sense to me to give one away to anyone who needed it. The fact that I don’t know someone, or may not like the person, doesn’t make that person less worthy or less in need.
At that moment I read the story, it was not an urgent “calling” like it would become years later, but even then, I had this deep conviction that I have everything it takes and would do that for someone one day in the future. Through the years, thoughts about it were recurring, becoming more frequent and intense, often randomly, but not until 2023, did everything become perfectly aligned and right, giving me the motivation & ability to go through with it.
Some years ago, I, randomly, tried to donate my kidney at Jefferson Hospital’s transplant center. There was no particular reason I chose to then. I chose them because the location was very convenient with my work back then. But they stopped communicating with me with no explanation, then the initial covidvirus outbreak occurred, and my financial & work situations changed. I still frequently thought about donating my kidney to anyone in need and knew I eventually would.
That story I read many years ago stayed with me for all those years until my dream finally came true, 15+ years later. In March 2023, I saw a request on the subway one night after work, for a 76 year old Pennsylvania man, asking for someone to become a non-directed kidney donor and donate the voucher to him. I realized that I had the appropriate work, financial, and living situations again.
At that moment I felt the “call.” I knew instantly. It felt like being on the cusp of something incredible, a feeling that was lacking when I attempted to donate at Jefferson Hospital years earlier. The second I saw the request that night, without any hesitation at all, I looked up the National Kidney Registry and filled out the application on the train, to be a non-directed donor with intention to give the voucher to that man. If it did not work out with him, I planned to still donate my kidney to just anyone.
I knew the potential benefits to a kidney recipient significantly outweighed any potential risks to myself and that even if I did experience one or more of the rare potential complications at any point, at least it would be because I tried to help someone. I could never regret it. The only thing I would ever regret would be not taking the chance when I had it.
Someone else did not have the luxury of “maybe” that I had. Maybe I would experience a complication or maybe not, but someone else was already suffering complications of an illness, and all it would take was a small part of my body to help that. Giving up some of my comfort for a while, taking on a little bit of someone else’s pain, to possibly give someone a whole life, was more than worth it.
I knew as soon as I saw that request on the subway that it would lead me to do something amazing and profound, something I have always known I would do. There was this feeling like this is it, the seed that was planted all those years before, finally blossoming into fruition. There was no uncertainty, no hesitation. This remained true throughout my entire evaluation process. There was never a hint of reconsidering my decision or backing out. I had this overwhelming feeling like I was made to help someone, whether this person or someone else, and that in the end, it would all work out for the best for all involved.
Thankfully, it turned out that man on the screen on the subway was already helped by another stranger when my evaluation was through. 200+ people, mostly strangers, in & near Philadelphia, volunteered to give their kidney for him. Nearly all were rejected, but I loved seeing that it’s not as rare as people may think, for a human to reach out to help another struggling human, no matter what lengths they have to go. It inspired me that over 200 people did not hesitate to help a man in need, and I know many more would have reached out to help him if they saw his request.
So, I got to go on and help someone else. Ten months later, I donated my kidney to whoever needed it. That sign on the subway is what set the whole thing in motion. Those ten months brought me nothing but overwhelming joy. I loved the whole process and anticipation. It brought extra joy to my everyday, knowing I was about to help someone in need. I cherish the memories now. Some living organ donors talk about a big depressing “let down” after the whole thing is over, once the surgery takes place and the novelty wears off and there’s no longer this big thing to look forward to. But for me, the joy has only deepened since then.
I considered looking for another stranger in need to donate the voucher to after I learned that man was already helped. It was a coincidence that I happened to hear about Greg just as I was searching for someone in need. The donation process took a bit longer because I waited for Greg for a while until I realized non-directed donation would be best while donating the voucher to him.
Thank you for giving me that chance to help someone.
During the evaluation process, there was some concern about my depression history. I had to do another psych evaluation with the social worker in case the surgery or any aspect of donation triggered my depressive condition. I appreciated their care for not only my physical safety but also my mental health, but my experience had and still has the opposite effect! It elates me and lifts me, even in low moods.
I am just as healthy as when I had two kidneys! Nothing changed at all. I wouldn’t even know I had surgery or only have one kidney except for the scars (which I love, and wish would stop fading! Quite a few people who saw my incisions/scars {I love to show them off 😆} said I clearly had a great surgeon!). I remember just less than two weeks after my surgery, jokingly saying I wonder if they even took the kidney! I was nearly 100% back to my usual self already. I walked to my three week post op appointment! Two hours without stopping. And walked the two hours back home!
Greg and me both have had an extremely easy recovery with little to no pain or fatigue and no complications. We both have said it’s almost like we never even had surgery. I only needed the prescription pain med on my first evening home. Then, after that, never even needed Tylenol. And not one nap during my recovery! I was already back to work a few weeks later, just keeping the pets company who did not need walks (I’m a pet nanny for work), and a few months later, I was back to work completely with no problems at all.
I am as energetic as ever. I often walk 10+ hours a day and love to brag about how amazing that is for someone with only one kidney (even though I know having only one kidney doesn’t put me at a disadvantage for walking or any other physical activity)! I also like to brag about my two superpowers: being in two places at once (I heard that Lefty is somewhere in Minnesota!), & peeing for two 😆
None of this would have been possible for Greg and so many others without all of you on the living donor team and the work you do for living donors and, in turn, our recipients.
I thank all of you for being part of my journey and for all the work you do helping people and literally saving lives.
I found the whole Penn staff to be warm and caring. I remember having anxiety on my way to my first day of medical testing at Penn and even the night before. I was concerned that my blood pressure would not show as accurate because of my anxiety and was trying to think of ways to calm myself and my racing heart. Nothing was working. But as soon as I got inside and met the various team members, my anxiety completely dissipated, and every part of me became calm.
While the work itself is important, I also believe that the way healthcare workers interact with their patients is important and makes all the difference to us. I have received nothing but kindness, positivity, and compassion when interacting with the Penn staff, all throughout my evaluation process, hospital stay, and after.
The atmosphere at Penn is so positive and calming. On the morning of my surgery, I woke up with a palpable sense of inner peace that stayed with me even as I laid on the operating table waiting to go under. All of the healthcare workers in the operating room that morning were uplifting and funny and compassionate. And they played my favorite music for me, Oldies!
I was a half hour late for surgery because I got up later than I meant to and then got lost that morning and ended up in the wrong place with no idea where to go. The only person around was a friendly security guard who also had no idea where I was supposed to be. It held everyone up. I could tell a few of the doctors/nurses were frantic and trying to hurry up and get the whole thing going after having to wait for me.
I also overheard them talking outside the room about the challenges they had because of me showing up late (I’m still sorry!!). But none of them showed any anger or even annoyance, they even said it was no problem when I said I’m sorry. That’s one thing I always remember, the patience and understanding they showed me. They were also kind enough to take a picture of Lefty for me when I requested it before sending it off to its new forever home!
Another thing I have appreciated is the surgical team standing at the bed as I was waking up just after surgery, and gently saying my name over and over and telling me I was awake now. The first thing I saw was their smiling faces as soon as everything came into focus. And they told me I gave a beautiful kidney and thanked me for giving the gift of life. It can be confusing or startling to wake up somewhere that isn’t home, especially in a place like a hospital, before everything registers. They made sure I woke up knowing that everything was good.
That’s something I will always remember.
It may seem like a simple, unimportant thing, but it made my experience better and was a soothing and positive thing to wake up to.
Other than Dr. Parsons, I don’t remember the names of any of the doctors or nurses taking care of me that day or throughout my brief hospital stay, but I do remember that care, compassion, and patience.
I haven’t met one Penn team member who isn’t extremely caring and dedicated and welcoming.
I am in a living kidney donor group online with living donors all around the world, mostly U.S. donors, and one recurring complaint that I see is that some living donor centers do not show support or compassion to their donors after the surgery. They kind of forget about them or brush them off after the kidney is taken. It’s more common than we would like to think. I always tell people I have been lucky to not have this problem with Penn. Not only are we not dismissed or forgotten but are acknowledged with gratitude after our donation.
All of my questions before and after my kidney donation surgery, even the slightly off-topic ones that weren’t necessarily your responsibility to answer, were answered quickly and thoroughly, and the responses were always thoughtful and caring.
My interactions with most of the Penn team have been brief and not very frequent, but still, the impact is very positive and lasting.
I am writing all this in detail to remind you of the full extent of the impact of the work you do and the compassion you display. I know healthcare workers are often overworked, burned out, and sometimes constantly busy. It may not always be positive or easy work and can be stressful, I’m sure, but it touches countless lives for the better.
I am so honored to get to have this experience and to have worked with your team for the last few years. If ever I meet anyone considering living organ donation (I hope to inspire some along the way!), I will be sure to recommend Penn Transplant Institute and share with them my positive experience with you.
I love being part of the whole organ donation family and feel a sense of kinship & belonging with all the other donors, donor families, recipients, and their families.
My body “lost” a kidney, but I received so much more in return.
My kidney donation has given me this whole family, a new friend, an expanded life perspective, and most of all, the gift of seeing someone’s whole life change, dramatically, for the best.
Even though it wasn’t my intention or expectation, my experience with kidney donation truly has given me just as much as it has given those who received the gift of life out of it.
Even if I never got to know my kidney voucher recipient or my actual recipient, I would be so thankful for my opportunity to get to help someone, but getting to see firsthand the incredible impact, it adds to my experience.
I hope Lefty is doing well, and I will continue to take good care of Righty and bring awareness to living organ donation (and organ donation in general)!
My kidney donation journey at Penn is coming to an end after almost three years, so I want to say thank you and share with you my amazing experience before I go.
Thank you, again, to every member of the Penn living donor team, the surgical team, the general Penn transplant team, and all of the healthcare workers who took care of me during my hospital stay after surgery.
With love,
Kim
❤️There were way more than shown here lol I had three shopping bags full of gifts, some personalized for the people I worked with more directly, but most for the staff in general. 💙💚💚💙
So, there’s our story!
If you have a healthcare worker or team of them, I recommend showing them your gratitude & appreciation with a small gift, letter, or card. Unfortunately, this is not allowed at every hospital/health center, so, checking with the hospital’s HR first is a good idea. Healthcare workers are professionals doing their job, but they’re also just people who don’t expect it but love to be acknowledged for the good they do. They definitely don’t get enough of it. I was not expecting any of them to acknowledge my letter or gifts to them. I was almost sure they would appreciate it but wasn’t expecting busy Healthcare workers to really stop and acknowledge it. But they couldn’t express enough gratitude or joy!
You can brighten someone’s whole day or even leave a lasting impact just by sharing how they helped you or someone close to you or even just thanking them for the work they do in general.
❤️
Xoxo Kim 💚💙
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