Never underestimate the difference YOU can make in the lives of others. Step forward, reach out and help. This week reach to someone that might need a lift ❤️
I’m inspired to share my experience of a very brief but sweet friendship that took place nearly 20 years ago.
What inspires me to share this is a comment in a somewhat recent social media thread I saw. Someone said if a very young couple is happily married or in a romantic relationship for only a couple years and one of them dies, the other will eventually forget about them by middle or old age and hardly be able to remember them and lose all feelings for them, and it will be like it never happened. I don’t know if it’s that person’s actual experience or just an assumption. Recently I saw another comment similar to that sentiment about how relationships lasting of a short duration don’t ultimately matter. For some reason that brought me pain even though I have never experienced this myself. I just found it sad that someone can be so easily forgotten, especially someone who at one point was so much a significant part of someone’s life. At one point they were each other’s everything and now it’s like that person and that love never even existed?
And I realized it’s not true, at least not for everyone. Even a very fleeting relationship, romantic or other, can have an everlasting impact or inspire lifelong memories.
When I was eighteen years old I met another eighteen year old girl named Asheen. We had a college class together. We were both quiet girls. She sat in the back of the class, and I sat in the front. One day after a class ended, she walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to have lunch with her. I said yes and was very happy for the invitation. I was very shy but very social and always up for having a new friend. I currently had no friends except high school friends who I rarely saw or talked to after graduation and a couple acquaintances I met over the Summer but did not see them often after Summer ended. It wasn’t enough socialization for me.
She bought me lunch that day. We chatted for a while, and she told me about her religion and beliefs. She was a Muslim girl who wore a burqa. I never saw her without it. She was born in Syria, and her family moved to the U.S when she was younger. She had no problems with people of other faiths or no faith at all. She told me homosexuality was against her religion, but she personally had nothing against it. After that, she would frequently surprise me with lunch that she would buy me. It would make me laugh because she was not permitted to eat certain food and would always adhere to her religion and her family’s wishes, but she would buy me the food that she wouldn’t eat. She would say “I can’t eat this because of my religion, but you can.” We would both laugh at it. I loved how she was so religious but so laid back. She never judged anyone or anything even though she took her religion seriously for herself.
We connected over the fact that at 18 years old we both never been on a date or kissed a boy. In her case it was because of her religion, in my case it was because I secretly never liked boys like that. I was usually so embarrassed to tell people I never been kissed or been on a date. Most people I lied to about it and said I did have experience with boys. But with her, I felt I could tell her anything. She was a safespace. I did not tell her I never even like boys, just that, like her, I had no experience. She did not judge, feel shocked, or require an explanation like many/most people when finding out someone has little to no dating experience.
The thing we connected most through was our sense of humor. We could just laugh and laugh at everything and nothing.
Everyday we would talk and have lunch together and laugh together. She was my only consistent friend.
The memory I love most is one day when we were walking up a street together laughing hysterically, belly laughs so deep we could hardly talk. It was the kind of laughter and joy and silliness only an 18 year old or someone in that age bracket can experience. That’s not to say older people can’t laugh hysterically and be joyful and silly. I’m still like this today! But it’s different when you’re eighteen years old. I can tap into that memory and feel it still.
After that college semester, Asheen transferred to a different university, and we lost touch.
Our friendship was very brief, but I remember it vividly. I probably wouldn’t recognize her today if I saw her. But I remember her well back then.
My friendship with Asheen reminds me that out of the blue when we need it most, someone can reach out to touch us for the better. It reminds me that someone can be thinking of us and we don’t even know it. And it just gives me the gift of sweet memories to always cherish and smile at. In general I don’t think of Asheen or our old friendship very often. But when I do remember, it fills me with warmth. Sometimes I even miss her and having a friend like that. We were so different in our upbringing and culture and beliefs, but at our core we were so similar, and the differences only made our friendship unique not challenging.
Even a brief relationship at a young age with someone we never see again can have a lifelong impact. There may be someone you touched for the better many years ago sitting here today remembering how your made their life better even in just the briefest encounter.
If you have an experience with a brief relationship many years ago that still has a positive impact today, please share!
Sending love to all and hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are
Xoxo Kim ❤️
