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Headache

Oct26

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“Well, I found you
Maybe you can help me
And I can help you” ~ Frank Black

I woke up with the absolute WORST headache today! I woke up with it throbbing violently. It’s not the kind that feels like a cluster headache (those are the very worst) but feels like a bad migraine headache, which is also very bad. It’s like a living hell today. Eww! This pain is disgusting, it just throbs and aches and pulses in certain places escalating on and off all in the back, around the eyes…

For a while I couldn’t even listen to music, the sound even of low, slow, soft songs, was too much, just pounding into my head and made the throbbing worse. I thought it would make it better! Even the gentle soft notes felt shrill and rough against my head. I had to lay in bed with my dogs for a while, covering my eyes to block out any light. 

My dog, Emmy, he’s so adorable, he knew something was wrong with me and he kept putting his paw lightly on my face and licking my eyes! What a sweet boy! And he has a skin allergy he gets in Summer & the beginning of Fall but he was still more concerned about my pain. ❤ He knows when I'm depressed or lonely too and he tries to nurse me back to health. 

This is him:

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Isn’t he cute?!?! He’s a purebred pompom.

Laying down made it worse sometimes but I also couldn’t stand or sit up so had to lay a certain way. I felt as if there was no way out, nowhere to go, nothing to do. It’s not the kind that contributes to me feeling the urge to scream or run or panic or like I’m going literally insane but I felt so trapped and it was hard to remain still but also to pace. 

I had to work tonight and only one person works each shift so it’s not always easy to get off at the last minute. My mom suggested I try to find a coworker to work for me and stay home. 

But I decided to go. I don’t really like annoying people at the last minute and also I thought maybe it would be helpful to not give in to the pain and just do what I always do, get up, go to work, be positive. Not ignore or deny it but not let it conquer me. It can get us to have to stay in bed or not go to work but we don’t have to let it drag us down emotionally as well.  Sometimes pain or sickness is just too much and we just really cannot even stand up or do anything. For a while this is how it felt but I decided to get up and push through it. It throbbed so badly and at some points I almost felt despair. I wasn’t unhappy though, just unhappy about the headache. 

My physical pain disorder can be like this sometimes. Fortunately it’s not often that I have severe flare ups this bad. 

Anyway, I forced myself to get up and go to work. First I forced myself to do neck stretches and massages to try to help the pain. At first it can make it worse til it makes it better. This doesn’t always work but sometimes works wonders.  Today it worked. My pain remained but not as bad. It takes courage and emotional strength to get up and move with a violently pounding head. 

At one point the pain was so bad I slid to the floor with my head in my hands writhing in agony. And in the middle of all this I still found things to smile about! 😀

I remember laughing as I attempted to pick myself up off the floor. I couldn’t help but feel a bit amused. 

In some ways I feel the physical pain is worse than the depression because it’s harder to handle, in my opinion. It’s louder and demands attention right then. Sometimes I cannot lay down or remain still or do much of anything but collapse and scream or pace. But in some ways physical pain can be better because with physical pain it can sometimes be easier to dissociate in a way, it can be easier to still feel like smiling and laughing. It can strengthen our will to survive while depression often saps all the desire to laugh and the will to live. Not always but often it tends to do that. Physical pain can definitely sap our will to live and desire to smile but sometimes it’s easier than with emotional pain. Physical pain and mood can be separated. But depression is a mood or mood disorder so it’s kind of more difficult. It is possible though to be positive even with depression. It can be so difficult but possible. 

Also, emotional pain like depression seems threaded throughout my entire being or self or existence when I’m depressed. Physical pain related to my disorder consumes my entire existence it seems, but I often feel like it’s a thing separate than me while depression often runs deeper and feels like it is me sometimes. I’m thankful for the experience with pain. Both kinds. I feel that it deepens me and completes me and I see things in a way I would never know without it. I think I have had enough pain though in this life so it can feel free to go now! Lol ;-D I’m not depressed but last week I was able to detect an impending episode which I’m doing very well battling so it doesn’t become a full blown episode. Usually I have to battle it for weeks or months, however long the episode would have lasted, I guess. 

I was disappointed that my severe pain had to flare up on a day I have work. This kind of pain only usually lasts one day. Tomorrow is my day off and I was thinking why couldn’t it have decided to attack me then instead. But I’m more on the positive side, naturally & generally. And my brain automatically thought it’s ok because then my day off will be more fun without this pain! And if it was the other way around and my pain was on a day off, I can think it’s ok because then I won’t have to work in agony. Positive thinking is so wonderful! On days when it doesn’t come as naturally, I can usually force it more easily since I’m already in the habit. No matter how positive we are naturally, we can develop an intentional habit! It makes everything so much better! 

So I did come to work tonight and again there was a very happy story on the news!

I shared a little happy story a couple weeks ago about a dog and this story also involves a dog!

https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/2015/10/17/in-the-news/

On the news tonight, a girl and her husband were sharing their story and love for their dog.

They were at a friend’s cabin in the woods somewhere, celebrating the man’s 30th birthday, and someone left the door open and the dog, Hank, ran away into the wilderness. They did everything they were able to do but couldn’t find Hank. Their worst fear was that Hank was eaten by a wild animal. According to the news program, according to statistics, if a pet is gone for over 30 days, that pet most likely will not be back.

Hank was missing for two months when he was found alive & well and returned to his humans!
The girl said she looked out and saw the truck pulling up to their house with Hank’s head hanging out! Lol That’s so cute! She cried tears of joy to have him back. 

It’s so heartwarming to see the love they have for their furbaby. They have decorations in their house about dogs saying “All you need is love…and a dog!” and “Dogs are people too!”
I most certainly agree! ❤

I'm so happy they got their baby back alive & healthy & happy! They also have a cat and he was playing with the kitty! 

They said to always have hope because you never know when something can work in our favor even when statistics are not. I don't remember their exact words but that's the sentiment. It can apply to most things, I believe. 

It's good to have hope but let's remember not to let it hold us back. It's possible to obsess and overlook all that we have now, hoping for something more or better. So hope isn't always a good thing if not handled well. 

We can have hope for the future but also appreciate now.

For example, it's good to have hope that my headache will go away but not good to not let myself be happy now or hold off on things until it does. I can cope with the pain and make room for it, rest when I can, but still do what I want to when I can. I wasn't going to read my book at first because I thought it wouldn't be as fun reading it with a throbbing head. Then I thought but why not anyway because it's good to make the most of the life we have right now. If reading made it worse I wouldn't but it wasn't making it worse. This moment still matters even with a splitting headache. 

I'm so happy I walked into work to another happy story! Which just happens to be another story about a doggy!! ❤

Dogs really are some of the best friends we can have! I have six babies and they're just adorable! 

Here are two of them! 

This is Emmy

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 & 

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This is Woody, Emmy’s baby boy. 
Emmy has two babies, a boy & a girl, Quinny.

Emmy is two years old and Woody & Quinny are one year!

They are both loving and cute and snuggly.

Woody is very playful and wild. They love bones and toys & blankies.

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This is Prince Oscar. We don’t know how old he is but he’s definitely old! He’s so adorable and a big grump! He loves attention when we just wake up or walk through the door or even just down the stairs after leaving for a couple minutes! He cries until he gets petted.  He also loves sweets! Sometimes I bring him an ice cream cone after work. 

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This is my baby, Isis Summerjo, she is eight years old but very youthful! 
She loves attention and going for walks! She’s extremely gentle and loving & sweet.

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This is Woody’s twin sister, Quinny. She’s so happy & loving and gently puts her paw on our hands and on the other dogs’ and cat’s faces! She’s very gentle but when we’re least expecting it, the girl jumps up and nips our noses off! She’s a wild girl!  

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This is Boobie. She’s the mommy and she’s thirteen years old. She’s very cute and loves her babies. She makes sure they eat first and she cleans them. She begs for food by throwing her head back and opening her mouth to show us where food goes! She doesn’t play with toys but occasionally she would bring a toy to look cute to get our food! Lol so cute!! When her puppies were born we got them a pac n play and Boobie used to throw up in it on purpose to feed her babies even though they couldn’t eat it and were being fed properly! Lol my mom & sister found it disgusting! But she was only taking care of her babies! 

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“I got me so down, I got me a headache
My heart is crammed in my cranium and it still knows how to pound”

Headache – Frank Black – mobile

Headache – desktop

I like listening to this upbeat song and I found it one day a couple years ago while searching for songs about physical pain to help me cope with my headaches when they are bad.

I hope your day/night is a good one! Much love to you!

and if you are struggling with pain of any kind, always remember,

“You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale ❤

😀

xoxo Kim

Squirrel <3

Oct22

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For about a month now, maybe longer, this adorable little squirrel has been visiting in the backyard! My mom and me often see him/her throughout each day hopping the fences or sitting on the fence staring in at us, often while eating! It’s the cutest thing ever! S/he even got bigger since we met. S/he rips the trash bags apart in the yard and gets it a mess. My mom and me have to clean it everyday. 

It’s cute but my mom isn’t very happy about it! It’s so cute to watch him eat with his little mouth going and little paws holding on to whatever he finds to eat!

My mom and me put food out for him everyday, which he loves. We often put out cupcakes or croissants and see him sitting on the fence eating them or running away with them. So adorable! 

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We weren’t sure what squirrels like best or what is safe for them to eat and my mom put cat food out for our squirrel friend but everyday it was still there but the other food would be gone and the trash ripped apart.

My mom looked up on the Internet to see what other food to give him and found that squirrels are vegetarians! That’s why he wouldn’t eat the cat food! Cat & dog food has meat in it, they can’t be vegetarians or they can get very sick. 

He likes pizza, cupcakes, rolls….i don’t give him pizza because the sauce may not be safe but he stole pizza out of the trash bag one day! lol

My dogs bark and growl at him like madd when they see him out the back door window!
But he just sits there looking in, unperturbed.

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He doesn’t let me get close though. He runs away. So I just let him be. I can mostly only get pictures through the door window or he’ll run.

I read that squirrels can live about ten years outside and up to approximately eighteen years in captivity!

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I would love to bring him in just for the Winter so he can be safe & warm but I would never keep him as a pet. It would be unethical since they are wild animals or outside animals. Maybe he would live longer but he may not be happy. He loves the outdoors, playing and running, hopping the fences and he probably has squirrel friends outside somewhere!  I hope he finds a good place to live when the weather gets cold. 

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I have been feeding him pumpkin cupcakes which he loves! He sits there holding them in his little paws munching away! And sometimes he takes them and runs away, maybe storing them somewhere or sharing with other squirrels! Occasionally he comes in the yard with food he got somewhere else! I wonder if others feed him too or if he steals it! Lol

He seems very attentive and watches me when he sees me, sometimes looking directly at me, other occasions looking out the corner of his eyes. 

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It’s just so cute!! He has a big fluffy tail!

So I just decided to share my cute lil squirrel friend to brighten your day!

😀

Lotssa luv to you!! ❤

xoxo Kim

Our Hawaiian Paradise

Oct20

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(me on the Wildwood beach this Summer)

In Orison Swett Marden’s book, Cheerfulness As a Life Power, you can read it online here,he shares an amazing excerpt I would love to share about being lighthearted, cheerful, and carefree. 

It’s old so there’s no copyright so it’s no cost to read online! I have the Kindle book. It’s not a very long book.  

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Here it is:

“Our Hawaiian Paradise”

“A newspaper correspondent, Annie Laurie, has told us all about the new kind of American girls just added to our country: –

‘They are as straight as an arrow, and walk as queens walk in fairy stories; they have great braids of sleek, black hair, soft brown eyes, and gleaming white teeth; they can swim and ride and sing; and they are brown with a skin that shines like bronze…there isn’t a worried woman in Hawaii. The women there can’t worry. They don’t know how. They eat and sing and laugh, and see the sun and the moon set, and posses their souls in smiling peace. 
If a Hawaiian woman has a good dinner, she laughs and invites her friends to eat it with her; if she hasn’t a good dinner, she laughs and goes to sleep, – and forgets to be hungry. She doesn’t have to worry about what the people in the downstairs flat will think if they don’t see the butcher’s boy arrive on time. If she can earn the money, she buys a nice. new, glorified Mother Hubbard; and, if she can’t get it, she throws the old one into the surf and washes it out, puts a new wreath of fresh flowers in her hair, and starts out to enjoy the morning and the breezes thereof.
They are not earnest workers; they haven’t the slightest idea that they were put upon earth to reform the universe, – they’re just happy. They run across great stretches of clear, white sand, washed with resplendent purple waves, and, when the little brown babies roll in the surf, their brown mothers run after them, laughing and splashing like a lot of children. Or, perhaps we see them in gay cavalcades mounted upon garlanded ponies, adorned by white jasmine wreaths with roses and pinks. And here in this paradise of laughter and light hearts and gentle music, there’s absolutely nothing to do but to care for the children and old people and to swim or ride. You couldn’t start a ‘reform circle’ to save your life; there isn’t a jail in the place, nor a tenement quarter, and there are no outdoor pool. There isn’t a woman’s club in Honolulu, – not a club. There was a culture circle once for a few days; a Boston woman who went there for her health organized it, but it interfered with afternoon nap-time, so nobody came.’
When, hereafter, we talk about worrying women, we must take into account our Hawaiian sisters, if we will average up the amount of worry per capita,in our nation.”

This is so beautiful and I get vivid images going through my head of these beautiful smiling women and their beautiful babies playing in the sand all day loving & living without a care in the world!

This is a beautiful inspiration to us all and how blessed we are to be able to encounter it!

If we are someone with a serious condition like an anxiety or depressive condition that requires professional or medical help, this most likely will not cure us but it can be a great supplement and reminder to let go of whatever is preventing cheerfulness and positivity in our heads. And if we don’t have a true mental health condition, we still likely experience anxiety or distress once in a while and this excerpt is a fantastic guide to help us cope and let go. 

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I love how the writer writes that these girls, if they don’t have a good dinner, just forget to be hungry. That’s so inspiring! They can complain about not having good food but instead they just go to sleep and wake up happy. And if she can’t get up enough money for what she wants, she just reuses the old and makes it beautiful!

Imagine if we do this often, forget to be hungry when our food sucks, reuse our old things if we can’t buy new ones and if they can’t be reused, just forget to want them until we can get them later! Instead of complaining about the weather, soak up whatever beauty we can in the weather we have. When we’re sick, instead of complaining, use the experience as a good excuse to nurture our selves more. We can seize every situation we are in and practice looking at the bright side, looking for any bit of good that we can!

Let’s remember to laugh in the sun, breathe in the sweet fragrance of the flowers, feel the soft air upon our skin, sing, and splash, and play! There’s no such thing as being “too old” as long as we’re alive. Forget the stress, the problems, the potential problems, the negativity & be happy now!

😀 ❤

Lottsa love to you!!

xoxi Kim ❤

Minute by Minute

Oct10

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“Life is not lost by dying 
Life is lost minute by minute 
Day by dragging day 
In all the small and uncaring ways.” ~ Stephen Vincent Benet

All the “little” things we do or don’t do, not paying attention, not caring, acting mindlessly or absent-mindedly, just drifting through each day not soaking up each moment or gem of beauty…all adds up to days lost, days and occasions we’ll never get back. Living to “the fullest” to me means making each moment, no matter what, the best we can. Whether we are sick or in pain, sad or happy, financially stable, poor, or rich, living our dream or not, have a great job, a dead-end job, or none at all, anxious or depressed…we can “bloom where we’re planted.” Make the most of what we have and where we are NOW.

Each moment won’t be the best but we can choose to make it as great as possible. It’s an amazing goal and habit we can develop.

Let’s pay attention to the simple beauty around us, the leaves, the cool breeze, the city lights, a heated room in the Winter, the deep blue of the sky, the twinkling stars in a midnight sky, the fragrance of flowers in the Spring, the taste of food we love, the sound of cars in the street, rain tapping on a roof, the softness of a blanket that comforts us through the night, the scent of cold air, the look in someone’s eyes, the softness of feathers or fur on a pet…

These are things so often overlooked by us each day. If we stop and pay attention to a single leaf, the crispness or greenness, an individual flower petal, the pastel softness, if we feel, truly mindfully feel the air carassing our skin while outside…it’s like a whole new world! A beauty that can make us go weak at the knees, make our breath catch, make us come alive, make our insides quiver, make us want to jump for joy! We can feel this feeling everyday!

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I saw this tree recently which still has green Springy/Summery leaves and not Fall ones yet and I looked at each leaf individually, not litterally every single one, but many. Instead of seeing it as a whole tree as one and all the leaves together like I usually do, I looked at each one separately, the vibrant green, the light tan/brown bark, the narrow trunk and branches, the way it looked against the sunset sky…and was (and still am!) astounded by the beauty. There’s so much we’re missing!!

All we have to do is look, open our minds and receive.

Our idea of living to the fullest may mean having our dream job, doing fun things like sky-diving, having a family, having lots of money…but while we’re working for those things, we can still live to the fullest! By tuning into each moment no matter what we’re doing! Being mindful, giving it our all, giving our whole self to whatever we’re doing.

This quote above is a wonderful reminder!

Lots of love to you! 😀

xoxo Kim ❤

Protector Day – Avalokiteshvara

Sep29

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Look who arrived in the mail today! And today also happens to be Protector Day!! ❤

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This is Avalokiteshvara. He is the embodiment of love & compassion for all living sentient beings. He is one of the most celebrated of the bodhisattvas. According to the story, he chooses not to enter the blissful state of Nirvana, so he can remain here with us on Earth and save everyone in need. He is devoted to the salvation of others and this displays his fierce compassion and the depth of his love. 

His mantra is Om mani padme hum, which is said to contain all the teachings of the Buddha. 
Saying this out loud or silently is supposed to invoke the powerful, benevolent attention of Avalokiteshvara.

I love this man who is symbolic of love & compassion for all. His compassion is so complete that nothing can break him and he can handle anything. He is a great reminder to all of us, Buddhist or not, to strengthen our compassion for others. Not just humans but anything that can feel and has interests. 

Imagine having compassion so complete, so deep, so full that nothing can seriously disturb us. 

Here is to Avalokiteshvara out of the booklet.
Praise to Avalokiteshvara:

“You whose white coloured body
Is unstained by faults,
Whose crown is adorned with 
A fully enlightened Buddha,
Who gaze upon migrators
With eyes of compassion,
To you Arya Avalokiteshvara
I prostrate.” (out of the prayer booklet)

We can offer him beautiful things such as flowers, candles, sweet fragrant things, tea, the sun & the moon….not that he needs these but it shows our devotion to universal compassion and gets our own minds in the habit of love. 

Here is the prayer booklet info.:

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You don’t have to believe in someone who actually hears prayers for this to be helpful. As I said, it gets our minds in the habit of acting and thinking purely and lovingly.

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These two are photos out of the booklet.

Here is the visualization:

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And here is a beautiful song with the mantra said throughout:

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Om mani padme hum – mobile

Om mani padme hum – desktop

It’s a great song to meditate to! And play in the background of whatever we’re doing. It’s over 23 minutes long and I listen to it very frequently. It’s soothing and inspiring. I’m listening to it right now! 

Here is my necklace with him on it.

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His four arms! It’s just adorable! 

I love when they have multiple arms! 

And here is my Mala, for the mantra om mani padme hum.

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Isn’t it beautiful?! 

It’s believed by Buddhists that just seeing this mantra or hearing it has very powerful effects and just seeing a Buddha statue or picture is as good as seeing the real thing!  

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I just love how he came to me today on Protector Day!! How sweet!!! I ordered him a few days ago! 

Happy Protector Day!! I think this day is a fantastic reminder to use our power to help others. Most of us have power over someone and are in a “lower” position than someone else. Let’s use our power and advantages for good. To help, uplift, inspire, heal, hug, and love. Let’s lift people up, not drag them down. Lift each other in love. ❤ ❤

😀

Lots of love to you!

xoxo Kim

Embracing the Light

Sep28

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“‘What does light talk about?’ I asked a plant that once, it said ‘I am not sure but it makes me grow.'”

(I saw this quote attributed to st. Thomas Aquinas but I’m not sure if that is accurate.) 

What a beautiful quote! I don’t know in which context it is truly meant to be or what the nature is but this is my interpretation. It reminds me that we don’t always have to know the answers to everything, we don’t have to know why or what or every detail about how something works, we can just take it for what it is, accept the beauty and blessings it bestows upon us.  Accept what is. Avoid over analyzing. 

It’s ok to wonder, research, ask questions…but it’s also ok to just accept and go with the flow, letting go of negative stress and without being hung up on little details.  

We don’t have to analyze everything and draw implications. 

I’m currently reading a novel which I already read more than half of, called “The Last of Her Kind” by Sigrid Nunez. It’s a masterpiece. So incredibly realistic, written kind of like a memoir. I cannot believe the narrator is fake. Lol I have to keep checking the book cover again to make sure it really does say “novel.” 
This just goes to show what a brilliant writer this author is! She can make up an entire person and become her. 

It’s about this lady’s life and how her best friend in college, who she had a falling out with, still has an incredible impact on her, years after their friendship ended. It takes place in the 60’s-80’s. The two girls were roommates and became best friends then a few years later they had a big argument and never talked to each other again. Then years after that the friend of the narrator was convicted of a violent criminal act. This comes as a shock to the woman telling the story and even though they had a serious falling out and haven’t spoken to one another in years, the woman still feels a sense of loyalty to and caring for her former best girl. This girl was and in some way, still is, a significant part of her. 

Anyway, a line in the book is relevant to my post here so I will share. Coincidentally, I had this post planned to write then the same night, last night, I read this line:

“Back in my chair, following an urge I felt no need to examine, I began to write what seemed to be a letter but was addressed to no one in particular.” (pp.254)

(caution & mini spoiler here: This book has a rape scene beginning on page 79, spanning two pages, ending on page 81, I don’t want someone who has experienced any kind of trauma or with any sort of post traumatic stress to read this without warning, it can be a serious trigger for some, in case you want to skip those pages if you’re planning on reading the book – spoiler…the narrator is raped while she’s alone in a park, by a stranger, when she’s about 18 years old, so you can skip the details but still know that part of her story. She’s an adult now, telling us of her days in college and leading up to now)

So, I love the message this quote and the line in the novel seem to convey. If you have an urge to do something (not dangerous), it’s ok if you don’t know why, just go for it! Pick up your pen and write, go for a run, pick up the book you feel drawn to, go to school or takes classes, try something new, resume an old hobby, whatever you feel called to do. 

If someone goes above and beyond for us, we don’t have to understand why, we can just accept and be thankful for the kindness. 

This plant doesn’t know much about light but s/he knows it gives her the gift of life.

And Light doesn’t care about being understood or getting anything in return. It just wants to nourish someone. 

How sweet! 

❤

I just love these abstract Zen-like quotes! They aren't even meant to be analyzed or understood intellectually, yet I sit here and analyze and write about my interpretations and often have so much to say. Isn't it ironic?

Lol Well, it's ok to try to understand them intellectually and also just feel them and let them be.

If you have any abstract, weird, Taoist, Zen, mysterious… quotes, you can let me know! Thank You!  😀

Much love to you!

❤

Xoxo Kim 😀

30 Days of Photos – Day 3 {Rule of Thirds}

Aug5

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I wrote this on August 3rd but couldn’t post til now(August 4th). 

Rule of thirds 

I’m not sure if my picture today (Aug. 3) follows the rule of thirds accurately but I like it!

I haven’t quite grasped the rule yet.
But at least my subject isn’t directly in the center of the picture, which is the point for Day 3. And my attempt is all that matters anyway!  
(I think this picture may also submit to the rule of negative space?)

This is my Buddha green aventurine bracelet.

It’s supposed to attract positive energy, optimism, amazing opportunities, increase confidence, help us connect more deeply with nature, help with depression, anxiety, be calming, good luck…and all kinds of other stuff.
Aventurine is considered by some to be the luckiest stone! 

My sister and me both have one. She loves stones and what they represent. 

Unlike my sister, I don’t believe that stones, real or fake, can really bring good luck and things but they can be symbolic and a great reminder! Also, this has a little Buddha head on it! Isn’t he cute?!

His expression is so calm like he hasn’t a care in the world and I feel so calm and peaceful just looking at his face on my bracelet. True calmness is within and not about our environment. We can be in the most hectic, distressing, painful environment but still stay peaceful and joyful. We may or may not naturally be calm & peaceful but whether or not we are, with practice we can develop and deepen and maintain a generally calm mind. 

All Buddha figures represent calmness & love but not all of them are crafted as well and look this good. Some Buddha statues and charms just creep me out. It’s a kind of heavy bracelet too, of great quality. I love it! 

Along with sharing my picture, I will share some of his sentiments. Buddha’s teachings can benefit everyone in some way, even just a few of his ideas put into practice can be life changing. 

Last night I had a Buddhist dream.

Did you ever have one of those experiences where you are dreaming and something happens in real life while you’re dreaming and the thing that happens gets incorporated into your dream? Like a dog barking for real then in your dream a dog appears and is barking in your dream but it’s the real one you hear and you awaken to the real dog barking.

I had an experience like this in the morning.
Only it wasn’t barking that was incorporated into my slumbering dream.
I was in class during a Buddhist ceremony and we were doing some ritual. The monk who teaches our class was, in my dream, performing a ritual and all of a sudden something wet and messy dropped on my head during class. I was drenched in liquid and chunks and slop and heard a retching noise and woke up! Unfortunately it wasn’t just a dream! My big pitbull was in my bed hanging over me throwing up! All over me! My head, my arm, my side… Lol She’s not sick; she just has a weak stomach, she always did.
What a way to wake up! 

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This is my pitbull, my fuzzy sausage girl, my furry soulmate, Isis Summerjo. How can anyone resist the cuteness?!

I had no idea what I was going to get a picture of today. I went out and forgot my phone then I had to go to work and at work I was thinking of what to get a pic of then I thought oh of course, my Buddha bracelet!” 

Then I remembered my Buddhist dream and that unfortunate experience! Lol 

So here are some of Buddha’s views.

Do not wish for gratitude. 

Help other living beings just to help, not to receive gratitude in return. Someone may be greatly helped or uplifted or inspired by what we do and that’s enough even if the person isn’t thankful to us. We don’t need people to gush over us for helping them or complimenting them and we don’t need credit or something tangible in return. Love to love, not just to be loved in return.

Do not be boastful – sometimes we will be really good at something that others suck at, we will do something great, we will have what someone else doesn’t, we will accomplish something good, we will learn and come to know things that are important that other people won’t seem to grasp, we will be wiser than some people. But let’s remain humble anyway and use our gifts and fortunes to benefit others. It’s ok to be confident in our abilities and gifts and be thankful but not good to act arrogantly with others or be proud at their expense. 

Rejoice in the fortunes and success of others –
 
Let’s not be jealous. Let’s be happy for others when something good happens to them. Remember how it feels to have something good happen to us then know that’s how they feel and take pleasure in it. It gets us nowhere to feel jealous and unhappy because someone else succeeds, it just feels unpleasant and can lead us to act in unpleasant ways to those around us. It generates negative energy. And remember there’s enough goodness for all of us. When one person wins, we all win. We can even let their happiness and success motivate us and inspire us to take action to better our selves. 

Do not retaliate – when someone does something to hurt us, whether physically or emotionally, or to hurt someone we know, we may feel like seeking revenge, lashing out, holding a grudge…this isn’t good for anyone. It’s detrimental to harbor anger and loathing for someone and it doesn’t usually make the situation better and it often worsens it. 
Act on compassion instead of anger, reach out to help and console the one hurt, not act on fury against the one who hurt the person/other sentient being. And if we are the one hurt, we can reach out to others in a similar situation or just be sure to never do to others what someone did to us. We know how it feels to be hurt, let’s try to avoid doing that to others when we can.

Use every occasion with a person who angers us, as an opportunity to practice patience and cultivating an attitude of compassion, instead of acting on anger. We don’t have to repress the anger, just take a few breaths, consciously, and imagine how acting angry just worsens things, often. It’s good for us and everyone around us to stay calm and loving no matter what. It doesn’t mean not speaking up, just not acting negatively. 

Don’t be consumed in guilt – guilt, when it’s excessive or delusional, does no good. Even if we really are guilty, we can be sorry, vow to try to never hurt someone or do something like it again, then move forward. Nearly everyone makes mistakes, acts unkindly, messes up, is wrong sometimes and there’s always hope, just keep going and help others along the way. 

Cherish others above the self.

Pay close attention to your mind and thoughts, attempt to have positive, loving thoughts.
When you catch unpleasant thoughts, redirect your mind.

Offer the victory to others and accept defeat upon our self. Let others be right even if they aren’t. It’s ok to speak up. But it’s more important to be loving & kind than to be right.

    Advice from Atisha’s Heart

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“Profit and respect are nooses of the maras, so brush them aside like stones on the path.” ~ Atisha

Let’s not be concerned with gaining material/monetary wealth or the respect of others. Do what you know is right deep inside.

“Avoid places that disturb your mind, and always remain where your virtues increase.” 

When we can, let’s avoid places that drain the life out of us, tempt us to do negative things, and are just not good for us. And visit places that nourish our goodness. But remember it’s mostly not about our physical environment but our attitude and perspective that lead to happiness or pain. 

“Avoid friends who cause you to increase delusions, and rely upon those who increase your virtue. This you should take to heart.”

Same with people. We can love them, wish them the best, and go our separate ways.

“Do not be jealous of others’ good qualities, but out of admiration adopt them yourself.”

“Do not look for faults in others, but look for faults in yourself, and purge them like bad blood.”

“Do not contemplate your own good qualities, but contemplate the good qualities of others, and respect everyone as a servant would.”

“Always keep a smiling face and a loving mind, and speak truthfully without malice.”

“Generate compassion for lowly beings, and especially avoid despising or humiliating them.”

“Have no hatred for enemies and no attachment for friends.” 

Loving our friends is good, being attached is not. Let them go if they leave and not depend on them for our general happiness. Love them unconditionally. But keep in mind that the relationship as it now is will one day come to an end either through death or a breakup or drifting apart. Most things do not and cannot last forever. Acknowledging this and accepting it while cherishing those we currently have will help it be easier to cope with loss. 

See, these things can apply to everyone, not just Buddhist people. 

We may not always live up to these things but it’s good to try and each moment we display these qualities is amazing! Whenever we fall, we can just get back up and keep going, lifting others every step of the way. 

❤

Much love to you!

❤

Xoxo Kim 😀

50 Shades of Happy

Jul15

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When I was at work last night I saw a newspaper that says “50 Shades of Happy” (about coloring). It inspires me to list fifty things that elicit happiness for me.

Here goes! 

1.) rainbow sprinkles! Especially on vanilla ice cream & cupcakes! Oh my! How delicious and pretty! 

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2.) puppy kissies!

3.) rainbows

4.) conversations and tea with friends 

5.) cupcakes!

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6.) tofu!

7.) a full moon

8.) creepy ghost stories! 

9.) Kindle app!

10.) clear blue sky 

11.) unexpected rain

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12.) packages arriving in the mail

13.) hearing an old forgotten song or a new song/song I haven’t yet heard, that I love! Especially when that new song/song I haven’t heard before now, is called Kimberly! 

“Kimberly baby, you make me crazy!” lol 

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Kimberly by D. Hiam – mobile

Kimberly by D. Hiam – desktop

Or Kimberley (it’s close enough!) 

“You see Kimberly was special, a rare and wild soul
Nearly every man who met her, their hearts she always stole…”

“You know I got to have this kim, I cant get her off my mind
And I aint gonna stop until shes mine, mine…”

 It’s a beautiful political song about wanting to save the land called Kimberley in Australia against too much Industrialization. It’s about greed and selfishness and too much division and arguing. But he writes/sings as if it’s about a girl who everyone loves and craves. It has a deep message and some parts of it can be applied to life in general. Forget the politics and message and all and we’ll just pretend it’s about me! Lol!  I got nothing against cowboys though! He seems to have a little something going against them in the song! But I don’t! lol ;-D

Kimberley – John Butler – mobile

Kimberley – John Butler – desktop

And there’s quite a few more songs involving my name! Yay! One is Kimberly by Marques Houston. I discovered this gem a few years ago. It’s a sexy, risqué song:

“Come along with me cus my ride don’t stop
We can make love that the neighbours watch
Open up the blinds let the whole world see”

Lol funny!

But my favorite line is:

“…more than just physical (its more than just physical Kimber…)
Deep inside of every woman there’s a Kimberly
She’s incredible… (She’s incredible)”

Kimberly by MH – mobile

Kimberly by MH – desktop

14.) photography – looking at people’s photos inspires me! And I love taking pics myself! I want to be a photographer one day! 

15.) my kitty with her tongue sticking out!
 Lol 

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16.) hot tea

17.) iced coffee

18.) flowers – especially when they have little kritters on their petals

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19.) warm blankets

20.) Christmas songs! How cheerful! 😀

21.) pumpkin flavored coffee in the Fall! How thrilling!  

22.) helping people 

23.) random acts of kindness 

24.) being in a room full of people or surrounded by lots of people in some way – doesn’t matter if I know them or not or if I’m interacting with them or not- it’s so uplifting and energizing 

25.) a long thrilling conversation with a stranger 

26.) hugs!

27.) snails walking on me

28.) my long hair blowing in the wind 

29.) taking pictures of buildings 

30.) comedy movies

31.) cherry water ice!

32.) connecting with people on social media accounts 

33.) seeing/hearing/reading about good things that happen for people – I’m very empathetic and soak up everyone else’s happiness & pleasure. It reminds me of that episode of “King of Queens” when that girl Kirstie is guest starring and she’s on a diet or something and won’t let herself indulge in some sweet confections and so she insists that the girl, Carrie, eats it for her so she can watch and feel the pleasure herself just using her empathy! Lol that can be me!

34.) philosophy texts 

35.) walking in perfect “walking weather” – perfect to me is not too hot or too cold, not too windy, and also a light rainy mist

36.) a sky full of stars

37.) jumping on a trampoline!  

38.) makeup! Especially eye makeup!

39.) the sounds of construction work outside! Yes, I love it! Lol

40.) the Earthy scent right before and after it rains, yum!

41.) the first glistening snowfall of the season

42.) reading a book at night with my dogs in bed

43.) getting new fruity body mist or body wash/hair soap/conditioner/lotion

44.) tropical scents 

45.) rain droplets on flower petals & leaves

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46.) watching a sunset or sunrise

47.) cool nights/windy nights

48.) uncontrollable belly laughs 

49.) Buddha statues/figures/pictures

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The man is seriously PEACEFUL! Day & night without exception. Totally has his shizz together.

50.) colorful socks!  😀

Nothing wrong with letting the little kid in us run wild and see wonder in everything we look at! 

I am disappointed to get to fifty already! It was so easy and I can go on & on! If I ever try to list things I don’t like, it’s much harder! My mind is generally so focused on what I do like! 😀 I guess that’s how you know you have a good life, when it’s so much easier to list happy things than unhappy things! I certainly have a list of things I dislike but it wasn’t easy to create that one and not as uplifting to write/read. But things we dislike are part of us too and no sense denying it! It’s all about our focus, attitude, and reaction. I am so much happier though, reading lists of things people love than the things they can’t stand.  

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What is your 50 shades of happy?

😀

Much love to you! ❤

Xoxo Kim ❤