Thank You for Saving My Life

Feb26

❤ ❤ "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." ~Leo Buscaglia

autismthoughts's avatarautismthoughts

This post has less to do with autism than it does with depression, but depression isn’t uncommon for people with autism so I think it still applies here.

I have thought about dying since I was old enough to pull the handle on a car door. I just couldn’t help but think of what it would be like to open the door on the freeway and roll out into oncoming traffic. It probably sounds pretty grotesque, but it’s what I thought about as a 5 year old. I just had this sadness built up inside of me and the only way I could see it disappearing was through dying.

This post, however, is not about dying. It is about living. You see, I’m still here. Even though I have wanted to die for as long as I can remember, I’m still living. And the reason I am still living…

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Depression Doesn’t Mean I’m Not Happy

Feb25

Yes! Depression is a sickness; it does not mean we are not naturally happy people or that all our smiles and laughter is fake even on the days we’re depressed. It doesn’t mean we’re miserable. It’s not a bad attitude or bleak outlook on life. Just like physical illnesses and symptoms occur for very happy people, so can depressive symptoms and episodes. I have frequent suicidal thoughts & urges off and on. But it doesn’t mean I’m not a happy girl. I can be having a very happy day then out of nowhere be hit with depression and sink into dark despair and feel like killing myself all in one day. But even with depression, I’m lighthearted and easily amused. Depression will never take that away. Depression is not my personality or attitude. It’s a true sickness that takes me over. But underneath I’m still the happy me I naturally am. Please check out this wonderful post to get a better idea of what depression is like for us who have it like this, a lifelong condition. We’re some of the happiest, wisest people you can meet! ❤ 😀

autismthoughts's avatarautismthoughts

I want you to know that depression doesn’t keep me from being happy. I know that sounds like a contradiction, but when we remember that depression is simply a mental illness, or in other words, sickness that occurs in the mind, it makes sense.

I have an undiagnosed medical condition that has prevented me from being able to eat normally. Although it can be serious at times and it means my eating habits widely differ from those of most people, I am overall fairly healthy. The same is true with my mental illness. Although I may have long periods of darkness when I see little light or hope in life, I am overall happy.

In fact, I am one of the happiest people I know. Even though I think about suicide sometimes, even though I still struggle with desires for self injury, even though I sometimes cry for hours at a…

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Still shining

Feb24

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(this isn’t my photo)


Just a reminder that we can still sparkle even after we have been broken, after any storm, any trauma, any pain or suffering…we can move forward sharing our gifts, our life lessons, our deep wisdom, and laughter with the world.

We can be broken, have scars, flaws, pain but still keep shining, keep loving, keep being beautiful.

❤ 😀

Much love & light,

xoxo Kim

Dancing Queen

Feb23

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Today I have been watching scenes on Youtube out of the movie Mamma Mia. I saw it in a theatre some years ago. It’s an extremely uplifting movie. Even if we don’t watch the whole thing, the brief scenes on youtube are very inspiring.

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Here is an amazing scene with these lovely ladies dancing & singing to the song Dancing Queen by Abba.

These gals are nowhere near seventeen years old. I think they’re like 60 something years old (maybe older?) but they still got it going on! They’re beautiful, sexy, hot, gorgeous, youthful and full of life. They even have some very young men after them! lol

;-D

The one lady is in a low mood so her two best girls decide to cheer her up!

She says “I grew up” and they say “Well then grow back down again! Screw ’em if they can’t take a joke!”

Then they begin singing & dancing and acting silly.

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What an inspiring scene!!

A fantastic reminder that as long as we are young at heart, we are young. Youth isn’t about age but attitude.

And these lovelies have an amazing attitude.

And if we can’t sing or dance good, so what?! It makes it even more fun!

😀

We don’t have to be seventeen years old to act like and feel like a seventeen year old! ;-D

Let’s not let age, social expectations, or life circumstances hold us back or drag us down!

Let’s grow back down again!

😀 ❤

These are all screen caps.

Also, thank you for the sweet comments! I will get back to you soon! My e-mail and some parts of wordpress aren't working good now. It happens now & again with my wifi connection I think.

I try to respond or "like" and my screen crashes. :-O

Much love to you!

❤

xoxo Kim

Worth the price

Feb22

This is so beautiful and so full of love. ❤ A great reminder that grief is never alone; it's always accompanied by love. ❤ ❤

MeRaw's avatarThe Journey of My Left Foot (whilst remembering my son)

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Monday 22nd February

“Love will always cost you grief.
And
Love is always worth the price.”

That my grief is so painful
Is purely because
I love you so much
And miss what was.

That my heart is breaking
Is purely because
I think of you often
And miss what was.

That my tears fall freely
Is purely because
I’m remembering you
And I miss what was.

To the moon and back, sweetheart.
Precious Angel son.

xxxxxx

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Live. <3 <3

Feb20

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“We’ve got to live, no matter how many skies have fallen.”

(attributed to D.H. Lawrence)

I love this quote! It inspires me so deeply because I struggle with severe depression and suicidal urges/thoughts/contemplation. So anything that encourages me to live is so inspiring & consoling to me.

I even have a bracelet that simply says, “LIVE.”

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I love life affirming things and love to share them with others.

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To live is the first step, as long as we are alive, there is hope. Life is hope. ❤

No matter how hard it gets, carry on, keep going, keep living, keep loving.

“Oh so your standing in the middle of the thunder and lightning
I know you’re feeling like you just can’t win, but you’re trying
It’s hard to keep on keepin’ on, when you’re being pushed around
Don’t even know which way is up, you just keep spinning down, ’round, down…
Every storm runs, runs out of rain
Just like every dark night turns into day
Every heartache will fade away
Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain
So hold your head up and tell yourself that there’s something more
And walk out that door,
Go find a new rose, don’t be afraid of the thorns
‘Cause we all have thorns”

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Much love & light & hugs to you! ❤

xoxo Kim