Tag Archive | joy

Hungry Eyes {—–{—-@

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“And Joy is Everywhere; It is in the Earth’s green covering of grass; In the blue serenity of the Sky; In the reckless exuberance of Spring; In the severe abstinence of gray Winter; In the Living flesh that animates our bodily frame; In the perfect poise of the Human figure, noble and upright; In Living; In the exercise of all our powers; In the acquisition of Knowledge; in fighting evils… Joy is there Everywhere.” ~ “Joy,” by Rabindranath Tagore Indian Poet

I live in Philadelphia, Pa which is close to New Jersey and my dad loves to go to NJ for Nature walks so we frequently go there to different places to walk around in the loveliness of  The gorgeous greenery, and luscious colorful wonder.  I usually work every Saturday day but today I was asked to come in instead, at night so I’m here now on a slow, cool night.

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The beauty all around is indescribable.   The life in the trees, the sky, the flowers,  and everywhere just comes gushing out. It’s so serene and healing, like the Ocean.

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Today as I was walking around I was so satisfied, fulfilled, connected, at One with all that is, yet I felt this hunger deep inside for more of Nature’s sweetness. It was enthralling. Almost magical.

Everything was so vibrant and colorful and throbbing with life. Everything I looked became like a pulse, a heartbeat in the wind.

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All of the simple treasures that Nature has to offer are stunning, breathtaking and cost nothing!   All you have to do is step outside and allow the Beauty to touch you, captivate you.
And it’s not just visual. The scent of pine filled the air, the sweet softness of the Autumn wind caressing my skin, the sounds of insects and birds chirping & humming….

I want to share some photos I took of all the loveliness!

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My sister & me sitting on top of a water well.

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Me with a large key, which is made out of raw metal and was challenging to make, it stands as an enduring reminder of Cherry Hill’s history.

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Sister love.

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I’m going to post more pics in another post. When I try to post too many pics in one post, none show up.

I hope you All are having a great one.

Xoxo Kim

Embracing Life as the Whole That it is

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“I love this crazy, tragic
Sometimes almost magic
Awful, beautiful life” ~ Darryl Worley

Life is full of beauty & pain, despair & hope, heartbreak & healing, heartache and growth, learning and evolving, Tragedy & dreams, setbacks & blessings. It’s full of grief, loss, winning & losing, wonder & awe, laughter & tears, smiles, good & bad, happy & sad, simplicity & chaos, comfort, consolation, solace, confusion, clarity, inspiration, love.

I cherish the simplicity that glimmers amidst the chaos & disorder, the smiles that shimmer through the tears, the laughter that still finds its way through heartache, the beauty that glistens in pain, the stars & the Moon that sing through the darkness, the still that rests beneath the clatter.

There is hope in the sunrise, comfort in the moonlight, life in the blue sky, love in the setting sun.

I find joy in the simple treasures, my long hair blowing in the wind, The rhythm of life pounding through my chest, sunbeams gently caressing my soft skin, the sweetness of hot tea, early mornings in bed with my dogs, the sounds of the city & the sounds of Nature dancing into my eardrums, starlit nights, daylight, the way the trees sway in the soft breeze, raindrops & snowflakes.

I want to live all of life, feel, embrace it for all that it is, happy, sad, good & bad. I don’t want to miss a thing.

“HATE has 4 letters, but so does LOVE. ENEMIES has 7 letters, but so does FRIENDS. LYING has 5 letters, but so does TRUTH. HURT has 4 letters, but so does HEAL. Transform every negative energy into an aura of Possibility. It is our perception that makes the difference in the way we feel.”

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Xoxo Kim

I’m Gonna Spend Another Fall in Philadelphia…<3

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My long lost friend is here once again, Fall!! And what better city to be in than Philadelphia?!?! The cool nights are just about here, I’m already seeing crunchy, colorful leaves appearing, the pumpkin Spice stuff is back!! I’m so happy! Yay!!
;-D

Here’s a poem I like:

“Fall will soon be here again, 
That special time of year 
When colored leaves of red and gold
Will suddenly appear. 

Fall will soon be here again, 
And joyful I will be
Because it is the season 
When my heart feels glad and free.

Fall will soon be here again;
Tomorrow it will start,
And I shall feel both happiness
And beauty in my heart.

Fall will soon be here again
And Summer will be done,
But Autumn is the time of year
When my life o’erflows with fun.”

~Hope C. Oberhelman

So yeah, as Hall & Oates says “I’m gonna spend another Fall in Philadelphia”!!!

I hope you all are having a beautiful day or night wherever you are! 😉

Xoxo Kim

I can see the light of a clear blue morning….

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” Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.”
Kevyn Aucoin

” It’s been a long dark night 
And I’ve been a waitin’ for the morning 
It’s been a long hard fight 
But I see a brand new day a dawning 
I’ve been looking for the sunshine 
‘Cause I ain’t seen it in so long 
But everything’s gonna work out just fine 
Everything’s gonna be all right 
That’s been all wrong 

‘Cause I can see the light of a clear blue morning 
I can see the light of a brand new day 
I can see the light of a clear blue morning 
And everything’s gonna be all right 
It’s gonna be okay” ~ Dolly Parton

Hello!! I’m up bright & early today and deeply inspired by the Morning & all its loveliness. I’m getting ready for a psychotherapist appointment soon! I’m blessed to be awake & alive at this moment. Last night I struggled hard with my facial pain disorder.   I was bordering on feelings of hopelessness but kept reminding my self of part of my own life philosophy to always try as best as I can to keep hope alive. I only got two hours of sleep and will probably be hit hard by that fact later and need a little nap! ;-D.

Today my pain is much less. But my jaw is still locked, not completely but enough so that it’s very hard to eat and drink.

Is it morning where you are? If it is, why don’t you start your day with happy thoughts?! Think of at least three things you are thankful for. They can be big or small things.

How about thinking in terms of what you DO want today as opposed to what you don’t want? Those thoughts are more positive, creating positive energy in and around you. And maybe more likely to contribute to you acting in positive ways, attracting positive things. 
Also, smile! 😀

Even if it’s not morning you can do these things!  
I am already in love with the promise of today.

I hope you are well wherever you are! Much love, laughter, & blessings to you!
🙂

Xox0 Kim

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P.s. The two above pictures are mine (I am aware one of the words is spelled incorrectly, it’s my phones’s fault it autocotrects wrong spellings sometimes & I hit save and do not care to fix it til later, lol) . And here’s one that is NOT mine but it’s hilarious! I don’t know who the pic belongs to:

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I almost never put pictures on this blog that are not mine but this is too good not to! Lol!

Creative Photo Hobby {inspiring}

 

 

 

 

 

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Here is one of my creations.   I took this picture of the sky with birds flying in a group & I posted the text to this quote I wrote myself as part of a creative poem I wrote. I hope it inspires you. I love making up quotes, writing poems, taking pics, usually of Nature, and love love love posting words & quotes to pretty pictures I take. It’s very fun & inspiring. It does take some work and is often somewhat challenging.   This is a hobby of mine I’m going to become more dedicated to!     ❤ :-D. 

 

Xox0 Kim ❤ ;-D

Heart’s Flowers <3 {—–{—–@

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“Deep within the sanctuary 
Of ourselves there is a glade,
Where the grass is always greenest,
And the flowers never fade.
Nowhere is a garden sweeter,
Than the one love’s own hands tend,
Where affection falls like sunlight, 
Warming and awakening. 

Everlasting are the blossoms, 
That are nourished in the heart,
Little lights and little shadows,
Who can tell the two apart?
He who plants the smallest kindness,
Sows indeed a mighty seed,
For through years, like little acres, 
…Only love uproots the weed!” ~ Grace E. Easley

I came across this poem today by Grace E. Easley 

Isn’t it lovely?!

It may be hard to feel or recognize but with self work and some inner exploration and authentic self excavation we can find/create it. We can meditate, write freely in a journal or wherever you want, answer deep life questions, ponder, and reflect to find our truth and love deep within no matter what the outside world brings to us or around us.

When we nourish and cherish ourselves and tend to our deep inner needs, we can grow and find that we are all we truly need to be joyful. Nurture yourself. Care for yourself.   Give to yourself. Love yourself. As well as others. Little lights & little shadows. As the poem states, “who can tell the two apart?”. 
Pain & pleasure. Darkness & light. Happiness & sadness. Weakness & strength.  They contrast each other and one seems painful while the other seems like a gift.   The truth is negative feelings and experiences can also be gifts to teach us and guide us and allow us to truly appreciate the goodness and realize it.   

A life of all profound joy & happiness & positivity, if it were possible, may be good to a certain extent but if we just always felt a pure state of pleasure, happiness, and joy with no pain, no negativity, no darkness, no struggles would we ever be able to truly, fully, recognize and appreciate the goodness? What if there were no struggles or adversity? Can we ever truly grow and have depth and substance? I think adversity and challenges help us become. Become all we can. Grow and appreciate. I would never recommend to go out intentionally looking for direct troubles and inflicting pain upon ourselves or others just so we can grow or help others grow and learn but troubles and problems are inevitable as long as we’re living and so we can use them to our advantage and sculpt ourselves into someone who is stronger and wiser. We can choose to view them in a more positive light.   We can practice seeing them as blessings in disguise instead of a curse, an affliction, seeing ourselves as victims.

I think it’s good to sometimes take certain risks even if we don’t look for direct trouble.   By loving, we risk losing or rejection.   Filling out applications, we risk rejection. By trying we risk failing or not succeeding how we want to. By speaking up, we risk ridicule or criticism.   But all of this can teach us and strengthen us if we let it. 

These are some of my thoughts for the day. I hope everyone is having a beautiful day or night wherever you are and if not I hope you find some consolation & healing when you need it most.

Xoxo Kim

Liebster Award (Thank You Etsuchan!!!) :-D

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I am so honored and very happy to announce that Etsuchan :  http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/

Has nominated me for the Liebster blog Award!!!
:-D. I love that someone likes my blog enough to find me deserving of this!

Here are the rules:

Each nominee must link back the person who nominated them.
Answer the 10 questions which are given to you by the nominator.

Nominate 10 other bloggers for this award (

Create 10 questions for your nominees to answer.

Let the nominees know that they have been nominated by going to their blog and notifying them.

Here are the questions that Etsuchan http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/ 
Has asked her nominees to answer & my answers:

1. Why did you start blogging in the first place?

I started this blog to record /share all of the thoughts and things that inspire & uplift me. I struggle with a severe form of depression & a currently incurable chronic facial pain disorder which tends to flare up and cause severe pain and I  have learned positive ways to cope with it and often prevent severe flare ups of both, using positive techniques. I believe inspirational ideas, personal development, self-help, and general positivity can help everyone, not just those who struggle with a disability/illness. And I believe there’s always room for development. I love to help, share with, and inspire people so I created this blog to help others in any way I can and to help myself.

2. What was your favourite childhood toy?
I used to have a small stuffed, tan, bear I loved so much! I wish I still had him! I also used to love baby dolls!

3. “I have a dream!” – what is yours?
My dream for the world is for more tolerance, acceptance, & love, empathy, compassion, healing, and understanding of others, cures for diseases, ending starvation….for all living, sentient beings. And my dream for myself is to have a job helping others, something like a mental health counselor,peer specialist, or something of that sort.

4. Do you have pets? If so, tell us 3 facts about your pet. If not, which pet would (or wouldn’t) you like to have?

I have pets! Quite a few! They are the center of my universe!


Isis Summerjo – a very large pit bull! She is big and cuddly,very gentle and loving, easily afraid of things like balloons, talking toys, cats..she’s a big baby!   She gives her paw without being asked, when she wants whatever food we are eating. She steals my blankets every night! She’s 6 years old! 😀

Oscar – a little shih tzu boy. He is very cute and loves to be held and loves to beg for food. While he loves to be held,he doesn’t like the process of being picked up! He growls! Lol. He reminds us of a human boy/man. My mom and me joke a lot that he’s “a real boy” or a man trapped in a dog’s body! Lol He seems to know certain things that dogs don’t really know. He always loved watching my sister or me take our shirts off, he just stares & stares! He likes girls’ boobs. My sister thinks it’s creepy! Lol. And he doesn’t like anyone to see him going potty. He goes to a little hiding place to go! Lol

Boobie – Boobie’s given name is actually Sweetheart but when we got her 11 years ago, almost, I started calling her Boobie just because I thought it seemed like a cute name for her. Boobie is what everyone calls her. Except my mom calls her Pup. Boobie is a chihuahua/dashund mix. She is very friendly but she doesn’t want the outside world to exist! lol.  She doesn’t like strangers and any noise outside she barks and growls like crazy!   She loves to snuggle up and she brings toys and does little dances when we have food so that we’ll give her some! We did not teach her to do this, she just does it! On September 6th, this month, Boobs will be 11 years old!  
And we will celebrate!

Emmy – Emmy is my little 8 month old pomeranian boy . We had him for almost 5 months but it feels like forever now and I love him as much as all the others. He is extremely wild, energetic, loving and playful! My mom calls him “the little terror.”. He has a mischievous look always on his little face. He loves being a bad boy!  He actually looks around to see what he can get into.   He’s frequently into stuff he shouldn’t be and is always on the go!  He chews up shoes and things, bras are his favorite! He loves to be held and he cannot give enough kisses! He chewed my watch and ripped my nose ring out which I had for almost 10 years!   He is an extremely intelligent boy and he goes in my bag and takes out slim Jims that he knows are in there for them because I get them at work for treats for them. Sometimes he brings slim Jims to my mom, dad, and me all night to open up for him, while we’re sleeping! Lol

These fur babies are all spoiled! Lol! They get everything they want as long as it’s safe for them.   They sleep in bed and on furniture and we celebrate every one of their anniversaries and birthdays and they get toys & treats.   I have had dogs my whole life and can never imagine not sharing my life with a dog.

We also have cats, ferrets, and birdies! I love them all!!

5. Your source of inspiration for your posts?
Sometimes I just have thoughts/ideas that I feel the desire to post because I think they are interesting, uplifting, positive, and helpful and inspiring.   Also, pain, any kind of pain, inspires me to post or write. I know that writing and sharing can help me cope and help someone else who may be struggling. And I have developed a positive habit of letting pain remind me of beauty and good things and when I think of or see beautiful or good things, I am inspired to write & share! I also like to share what I have learned & what I think about it when I read things in books or online.

6. The worst life experience
I will tell about one recent one I have posted about.   My dog, Koko, who was a pomeranian mix died of old age in April this year. We had her for 12 years and she was 14 years old. It is one of the most painful experiences ever.   It was so hard to handle. Shortly after Koko died, I saw a sign advertising that pom puppies needed a home. There was one left and my mom thought it would be a sweet honor of Koko since she was a pom mix,if we get this little pom boy. Everyone agreed and we got him! Although I love him just as much, no one can ever replace someone who has died and I don’t want anyone to. I love that we were able to give Emmy a loving furever home and he helps so much with my grief. He brings so much joy.

7. The best life experience
I don’t have just one. I think everyday is beautiful but one life experience that I am blessed with is healing my depression and now being generally and genuinely happy instead of depressed & being able to positively share my experiences & lessons learned with others and letting other people & their experiences teach me. I still have severe flare ups of depression but not as often and they usually are not as bad and don’t last as long as they used to. And I can cope much better when I am hit with one.  I have severe recurrent episodes and used to have mild /moderate depression in the middle of severe episodes.   Now I don’t have depression in the middle of severe episodes usually, just happiness. I can find beauty & inspiration everywhere I look. I can now see how depression made me better than if I never experienced it. I work on myself constantly to be the best me I can be. I let the pain make me better,not bitter. I still have relapses every now & then but I don’t struggle almost everyday anymore like I used to.

8. Describe the clothes you’re wearing right now
I’m in my pj’s in bed! Lol. Short pink shorts and a yellow flowered design, strapless shirt! 😀

9. If you could save the world from the bad aliens, how would you do that? 

Hmmm…good question!! lol! What I would do is create a vacuum – like machine and suck all the aliens in! Then I would put them all into a big room together and then gather up some human volunteers to help me educate the aliens on kindness & acceptance of diversity. Trying to get them to want to be good and not destructive and want to work together with other living beings for the common good. If they had a change of heart, I would love for them to join us or visit us more here on Earth and we can all be one big happy family! If not I would use the vacuum like machine to send them back to their homeland and keep a watch on them to make sure they do not try to destroy the Earth! Lol ;-D

10. Perfect names for your children..?
I like Kimball for a boy! Named after me.
I have always loved Jacqueline for a girl. So pretty. 

Thank You so much Etsuchan 
http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/
for these lovely questions! Very interesting! I love the mix and had so much fun answering them!

Now here are 10 of my favorite blogs other than 

http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/

That I an nominating!

http://terry1954.wordpress.com/

http://gyatoday.wordpress.com/

http://studentswithbirds.wordpress.com/

http://awindowofwisdom.wordpress.com/

http://talesbycindy.wordpress.com/

http://wordslikesilk.com/

http://pflead73.wordpress.com/

http://lesleycarter.wordpress.com/

http://herbloggings.wordpress.com/

http://rosebushchronicles.com/

These are not in any certain order, just random and I know some have more than the maximum amount of followers required but oh well! ;-D

Please check out these wonderful blogs!! And don’t forget to also check out:

http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/ 

I love her blog and her amazing outlook on life and things!! 😀

Here are my 12 questions but the rule is you only have to answer 10 if you want! So you can choose 10 of the 12 if you want or less if that’s what you prefer!   Whatever floats your boat!     That’s if you want to, of course, you can choose to answer none!  😀

1.). What are a few things that inspire you to be the best you?

2.). Tell about one thing you find to be beautiful that many/most people seem to see as ugly.

3.) To you, what constitutes true friendship?

4.) What is one painful experience you previously endured that you now see as a blessing?

5.) What is your favorite book? Or one of them?

6.) What is one song that can be considered one of your life theme songs? One that describes you, your life in general, or your outlook on something.

7.). What are three quotes that inspire you somehow? 

8.) If you had to choose, would you choose to have average intelligence and be ridiculously beautiful physically or have average physical beauty but be a genius?

9.) Do you have a Philosophy of life that you consciously try to live by? If so, briefly explain the basics of it.

10.) Which one of your senses (see, hear, taste, feel/touch, smell) do you think would be the most difficult to live without?

11.). What are three things you like about yourself that are not physical characteristics? (personality traits, virtues..) Now list three things you like about yourself that are physical characteristics. (eye color, hair, legs…)

12.) What accomplishment of yours are you most proud of?

Thank You SO MUCH again Etsuchan!!!

http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/

This was so much fun!!


I love these blogs and many more and all of these bloggers contribute so much with their writing & thoughts & pictures, heartbreak & joy, happiness& sadness, laughter & tears, input & caring to share with us all!

Xox0 Kim

It doesn’t take a talent to be mean <3

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There’s a song I used to listen to over & over when I was a little girl. I can’t remember exactly how old I was but I was very young, not even a teenager yet.

My dad introduced me to the song and I was instantly hooked. I never paid much attention to the words or to the message the singer conveys through her song.
I just loved her sweet, soft, & gentle voice and the music. The song is,
“I’m Sensitive” by Jewel.   I remember asking my dad what “sensitive” means and he said it means the girl is easily hurt, saddened, or impacted by other people ‘s actions and words.

And I remember asking him if this girl is really sensitive or if she just likes to sing that she is. I remember him saying “No, she’s really a sensitive girl.”

 I remember thinking, “I want to meet this girl.”

I think one of the most poignant lines in her song is:

 “It doesn’t take a talent to be mean.”.

This couldn’t be more true.   Destructive criticism, cruelty, intentional insults, slander, toxic gossip about others, verbal thrashings,  is no special skill or trait and nothing to be proud of yourself for engaging in.

“I was thinking that I might fly today
Just to disprove all the things you say
It doesn’t take a talent to be mean
Your words can crush things that are unseen
So please be careful with me, I’m sensitive
And I’d like to stay that way.”

Your words, even untrue ones which were only said out of anger or jealousy or to make yourself feel better about your own life or self, can have long lasting, devastating effects on the people you inflict them upon.

“You always tell me that it’s impossible
To be respected and be a girl
Why’s it gotta be so complicated?
Why you gotta tell me if I’m hated?
So please be careful with me, I’m sensitive
And I’d like to stay that way.”

Things don’t always have to be so complicated. Love. It’s simple. Your words impact people. For better or for worse. 
So why not speak lovingly of yourself and others about yourself and other people?
Let your words heal, not hurt. Bring people up, not down.

Do you have the right to be cruel? To sling ugly words at and about people? Absolutely!  At least in U.S. Culture, you are legally protected by our Constitution and so in many cases you do have the legal right to say unkind things .   And I don’t argue against that. You have that legal right. And I support your right. And my right.
But just because we can do something doesn’t mean we always should or that we have to. The fact that we can say just about whatever we want and not get in legal trouble is a gift that we tend to take too much advantage of by taking it to the extreme and spewing toxic things out about people.  Just because I argue against your words or your intentions doesn’t in any way mean I’m arguing against your right so say what you will. (the argument that people who speak cruelly of others often tend to turn to is something like “I have the right to say what I want…” but I am merely objecting to your cruelty itself, not you legal right to be cruel; you can, if you insist, continue to be very cruel)
You have the potential and often the legal right to knock people down with your words. But you always have the potential and the legal right to bring people up with your words, your warmth, your smile.
And you can choose whichever you want.

What will you choose today?

“I was thinking that it might do some good
If we robbed the cynics and took all their food
That way what they believe will have taken place
And we’ll give it to anybody who has some faith
So please be careful with me, I’m sensitive
And I’d like to stay that way.”

This line is brilliant. What you believe or look for is often what you will find. When you’re in a negative state of mind looking for the bad, you will see it everywhere.   When you’re in a positive state of mind looking for the good, you will see it glittering all around and within you.

“I have this theory that if we’re told we’re bad
Then that’s the only idea we’ll ever have
But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty
Someday we will become what we see”

Just like the previous lyrics, we will find what we are searching for. And if we’re surrounded by negatively critical words and allow them to affect us too much, we can start to believe them or just be lowered by them and our views are clouded. But if we are surrounded by beauty, we will become beauty. And our views will be positive and we will see with clarity. There’s is always, always, always something beautiful. To be seen. Or heard. Or felt. Or known. Always. Look for it. It’s there. Let that be what you are and become, not the ugliness.  

“‘Cause anyone can start a conflict
It’s harder yet to disregard it”

Yes, anyone can cause problems for others, and drag people down and do things to watch people suffer. 
Do you really want to do that? It says more about you than those you slander and gossip about. Even if your accusations and claims are true. Necessary constructive criticism is one thing, cruelty is another.
A person criticizing others just for the thrill of it may feel big & bad but that person is really very small.

“I’d rather see the world from another angle
We are everyday angels
Be careful with me ’cause I’d like to stay that way”

Beautiful ending to a beautiful song. We can train our brains to see the world however we wish to see it. I love how she is a sensitive girl which means she can be easily hurt but she wants to stay herself. Don’t change your beautiful self just for the ugliness of others.  It’s good to be affected by people and things.   It’s good to feel. To live. To have heartbreak and healing. To be broken then whole. To let people in. To give people and things the chance. A chance to know us, love us, hurt us, and heal us.  It’s better than putting up walls and locking people out, we can be hurt, crushed, devastated but it let’s us have deeper, more purposeful relations with people, ourselves and the world than when we live in fear of being crushed. If we lock people out and numb ourselves to our surroundings, it’s true that we may protect ourselves against the pain of rejection, abandonment, and someone we love or anyone seriously causing us pain but we also deny ourselves the depth of true relationships, the sense of closeness, the positivity of people uplifting us, and deep satisfaction of letting the world in. If you make it so you cannot potentially feel deep pain, you also make it so you cannot feel true, profound joy. Is it really worth it?
As the saying often goes, “it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved.”. How cliche, right? But for good reason!

I can’t remember when or why I stopped listening to this song. Maybe my cd broke or I lost it. Have you ever just been reminded of a song that was once a significant part of you so long ago? One you listened to over & over and loved deeply?   And now you can’t remember or understand why or when you stopped listening to it? It seems to have eventually just slipped out of your grasp and got away .   That’s like this song and me. I never got tired of this song but haven’t heard it or even thought of it in decades. Then I received an e-mail by Johnathan Lockwood Huie. 

http://www.jonathanlockwoodhuie.com/

One of the ones he sends every morning with his beautiful inspiration. 
He sent a list of quotes and one is Jewel ‘s quote in one of her other lovely songs:

“I’m having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and, someone’s got to pay.”
– Jewel

Lol 
When I read this quote I automatically remembered Jewel’s other song, “I’m Sensitive” and I thought “Whatever happened to that song?! Where did it go?! Where did I leave that song?!, packed away somewhere deep in the abandoned crevices of my brain I no longer tend to.” I vaguely remembered the tune, the lyrics, her gorgeous, soft, caressing, comforting voice and I wondered if I would still love it as much. Hoping I would. I found it, downloaded it at one something in the morning after I opened Mr. Lockwood Huie’s e-mail, yesterday morning. I always receive those e-mails at that hour every single morning and it couldn’t be more perfect. 
I was half sleeping so decided to wait til later that morning to listen to the song so I can really take it in and get the best of it.   Fully, deeply, truly.  When I finally listened again to that song that I haven’t heard since I was about eight years old, maybe younger, I did not only love it as much as I did then. I love it more. 

It’s beautiful. And now has much more meaning in my heart than it did all those years ago. I’m old enough now to truly understand it. I have my own experiences now to relate with much depth. It’s not just about aesthetics any longer.

And I hope you always remember, dragging other people down doesn’t bring you up. You may *feel* temporarily uplifted but it doesn’t make you any better. Destructively pointing out other people ‘s ugliness doesn’t make you pretty. Unnecessarily magnifying their flaws will never perfect you. It says nothing about them and all kinds of things about you. 
Whenever we feel the need to hurt others emotionally merely because we just feel like it we should stop instead and examine our own lives. Instead of trying to destroy others, we should work on ourselves.
I, myself, am not completely innocent of speaking unnecessary, unkind words about others but I know I am above that and I can choose kindness or at least not choose cruelty.

~Kindness is a gift we can all afford to give.~

Will you be the one bringing light to that person in the darkness?

Xox0 Kim

P.s. I would include a link to the YouTube video of the song but I’m using my phone and can only seem to be able to get the mobile version of YouTube. I don’t know if that can work for anyone not using my phone.
😀

Blessings Upon Blessings

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“You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you.” ~ Sarah Ban Breathnach
 
I believe that Gratitude, while being a brief, fleeting feeling that occurs when something unusual and pleasant happens or something “big” happens, can also be a way of life. With practice, we can live in Gratitude everyday, in general and not just occasionally. And it can become natural, not forced.  Even with difficulties and struggles and pain, Gratitude can be our way.   And it can be a deep, ingrained feeling.   It’s probably not realistic to expect everyone to be extremely grateful every second of every day but it is possible to be thankful in general, even while experiencing various struggles.
 
Today, I woke up early in the morning. My dog woke me up taking my blanket off me again, as she has been doing ever night/morning now. She loves blankies. I wasn’t ready to wake up and I laid in bed and my body filled with immense gratitude. I thought of everything and everyone associated with me, family, friends, pets, work, my experiences, good & bad,  my body, my health, future possibilities, my senses, my growth, my phone and all its apps, being awake, existing, the seasons changing, the coming Fall, philosophy books, personal development ….and it was as if my whole being, my very essence was just overflowing with gratitude and pure love. It was an amazing experience.   And not because all of those things I thought of are flawless or without pain or struggles, but even with the problems, they are true blessings.
I have felt this before now and sometimes feel it frequently, much more often than I used to experience. 
 
There are different degrees of gratitude. And different ways of experiencing it.  There’s the basic kind where we can just think of things we have that make our world better and know we are better having them than not but then there’s the kind I felt this morning, the deep kind that caressed every strand of my existence, tingled in every cell of my body, nothing specifically provoked it, nothing  big or uncommon happened to me to lead me to that feeling. I was just basking in the sweet beauty of just being.
 
Gratitude can be a conscious decision, made into a habit which then becomes automatic, easy, natural, your nature.
 
This is what I work on so much and do so well but there’s always room for development. It’s not a destination but a journey, a beautiful, wondrous journey.
 

Ever since I was a little girl all the way until I graduated college, there have been class/group activities, usually around the “holiday season ” where the teacher or someone would go around the group and ask us a few things we’re thankful for.  Every single occasion we have been asked this, throughout the years, most people would say “friends & family” and nothing more after that usually.  Even now on Facebook and blogs people express their gratitude for their friends and family. And it often stops there. 

It’s absolutely amazing to have friends and family, especially good ones and we should definitely be grateful for them. 
But those are obvious things to be thankful for, almost everyone automatically thinks of those when asked “What are you grateful for?” . What about everything else? The overlooked blessings?    What about all the simpler things we take for granted, the everyday blessings that go almost unnoticed?
 
What about those?
 
I recently purchased a book that my mom gave me the money for. “The Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude” by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
 
It’s a book she wrote, a page for every day of the year with space provided for the reader to list a few things s/he is thankful for.
 
In the beginning of this book she lists 150 blessings that are often overlooked by people in general.  A few of the things she lists are: “The Kindness of Strangers”, “The aroma of something delicious wafting from the kitchen”, “Your boundless imagination”, “a walk in the woods and becoming aware of life all around you”, & “When hope is restored”.
 
This inspires me deeply. I always think of the simple things and often write and speak of them. I love reading other people’s lists and especially when they have unique, uncommon things on those lists.  
 
And I have comprised a list of my own of blessings often ignored or overlooked. Things that we often don’t even think about but would probably feel the painful loss or absence of or just not have as much joy if we did not have these wonderful blessings.
 
1.) The feeling after an illness heals or pain subsides. The feeling of being “my old self again.”
 
2.) falling into bed after a long, hectic, crazy day.
 
3.) not having a Sleep condition.
 
4.) being able to experience physical pain and discomfort.   This let’s us know something inside or on the body is wrong and motivates us to move, switch positions, turn throughout the night and day to protect our muscles and joints.
 
5.) being able to walk
 
6.). All of our senses
 
7.) body organs
 
8.) my body
 
9.) Doctors 
 
10.) Morning 
 
11.) the four seasons
 
12.) Police officers/detectives
 
13.) books
 
14.) being educated enough to function
 
15.) the beauty all around 
 
16.) body fat – without a certain amount of healthy body fat, we would be sick or not as healthy as with it
 
17.) laws and things established to protect
 
18.) the ability to make choices
 
19.) breathtaking beauty
 
20.) a place to live, a house
 
21.) air conditioning in the excessive heat
 
22.) cool nights
 
23.) being in awe of Nature’s sweetness
 
24.) water
 
25.) sustenance to nourish the body
 
26.) medical equipment
 
27.) life saving treatments
 
28.) all the functions and systems of the body
 
29.) my heart
 
30.) my hair
 
31.) not being sick
 
32.) energy
 
33.) being able to stand. 
 
34.) my spine
 
35.) not being in constant pain
 
36.) life lessons learned 
 
37.) technology 
 
38.) my ability to dream 
 
39.) hot tea on a crisp Fall day
 
40.) being alive
 
41.) waking up 
 
42.) sunrise
 
43.) poetry
 
44.) new beginnings
 
45.) empathy
 
46.) random acts of kindness 
 
47.) people who make the world better just by existing 
 
48.) people who make the world better even after they’re no longer living
 
49.) the first snowfall Of the season 
 
50.) the stars up above us in a midnight sky
 
51.) electricity, gas, heat, water, stuff that makes living easier and healthy
 
52.) arms & legs
 
54.) organ donations by generous people
 
55.) people who save lives 
 
56.) people who impact lives for the better 
 
57.) college professors 
 
58.) teachers 
 
59.) facebook and blogs
 
60.) second chances
 
61.) people who forgive
 
62.) rest
 
63.) pleasant surprises
 
64.) things turning out right
 
65.) fun, satisfying jobs
 
66.) love of all kinds
 
67.) the Moon
 
68.) phones 
 
69.) the will to live
 
70.) the desire to live
 
71.) wanting to win
 
72.) self acceptance 
 
73.) self love
 
74.) looking into a mirror and loving what you see
 
75.) when you can’t stop smiling
 
76.) being genuinely happy for no reason
 
77.) great online friends and acquaintances and strangers I come across
 
78.) feeling accomplished
 
79.) falling asleep to the sound of rain
 
80.) waking up to the sound of rain
 
81.) gratitude itself
 
82.) life itself 
 
83.) politicians (lol I know! But they help with laws and policies and they got some guts putting their views out there knowing people will criticize them both constructively and destructively, insult them viciously and all!, maybe even want to kill them?! Come on, we have to give them that much, right?!)
 
84.) waking up early and not having to go anywhere 
 
85.) lazy days
 
86.) productive days
 
87.) the things that children teach us
 
88.) being me
 
89.) thinking clearly 
 
90.) belly laughs that hurt so good. ❤
 
91.) feeling included
 
92.) free blog hosts such as this one
 
93.) animal friends
 
94.) bookstores 
 
95.) inspiration
 
96.) sappy love songs and love letters 
 
97.) seeing lovers holding hands and smiling out in public 
 
98.) cheesy love, that head over heels kind that makes people want to gag when they see it, sitting on the same side of the table at a restaurant, posting love letters and lyrics on each others walls on Facebook all day…that kind of sap. Lol ;-D ❤
 
99.) impressing people
 
100.) trying clothes on and loving how you look in them!
 
101.) the perfect cup of coffee
 
102.) the feeling when snuggling with a fur friend at night.
 
103.) the feeling of giving someone a gift
 
104.) helping others 
 
105.) seeing old people out walking, smiling, with wrinkles and walkers and canes and still going strong, happy to be
 
106.) babies
 
107.) weddings 
 
108.) therapists 
 
109.) true, strong, friendship
 
110.) baby animals
 
111.) energy
 
112.) being happy
 
113.) joy
 
114.) a sense of belonging 
 
115.) finally having something it feels you have been waiting for your whole life
 
116.) watching a child or a puppy learn something new
 
117.) seeing someone try something the person has never experienced before – like water ice! ;-D ;-p
 
118.) suddenly remembering or hearing a song I love and listened to over and over years ago and forgot about for so long! ❤
 
119.) the feeling of love when my dogs happily, joyfully run to greet me after a long day out of the house  (or after just 10 seconds of walking out of a room and walking back in!) 
 
120.) the psychological pleasure of eating delicious food!  
 
121.) the stunning, breathtaking beauty of the Moon
 
122.) the feeling of being in an Ocean
 
123.) basking in the sunlight 
 
124.) letting go of a problem you held onto for years and feeling so much lighter
 
125.). Eye contact and smiles 
 
126.) actually liking/loving people you have no choice but to be “stuck with”
 
127.) walking in the rain and the feeling of liberation it brings
 
128.) dreams when you’re asleep
 
129.) accidentally finding a great book and loving it
 
130.) meeting a kind and random stranger and having an uplifting conversation
 
131.) trees
 
132.) being pleasantly surprised
 
There are so many blessings all around and within.
 
Much love & blessings & happiness to you all.
I truly believe the more we give thanks, the more we have to give thanks to & for. ❤
❤ 😀
 
Xox0 Kim ❤

An Inspiring Conversation

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” I choose to FIGHT BACK! I choose to RISE, not fall! I choose to LIVE, not die! And I know, I know that what’s within me is also WITHIN YOU. “~Mayor John Pappas (City Hall, 1996)

About a year ago, I had a conversation with someone at work one night. At first, I found this conversation to be very unpleasant but shortly after the conversation ended, I felt energized, inspired, uplifted, and so hopeful.

This conversation is one of the things which has had the greatest, positive impact on me in my journey to recover my suicidal depression.

A person was talking to me about drug addiction and people who struggle and have struggled with addiction. She had a very negative view of people who have suffered substance addiction, even the ones who have overcome it and no longer consume illegal/recreational drugs.

She basically held the view that drug addicted people are lost causes who are bound to go nowhere in life. And even when they recover or heal, they will always be “druggies”. “Druggies” who even after recovering will never find redemption or worth.

I couldn’t have disagreed with this girl more. I see so much potential and hope and light in almost everyone I look at. People are remarkably strong and resilient and can overcome and move forward even when it’s hard. Even when it’s painful and all seems hopeless. Even when it seems impossible. Even when it’s all just so dark. 

There can always be light. When I look at a person, even a troubled, difficult, broken person with great obstacles and challenges, I don’t see an addiction or an illness or a mere label or a “lost cause”. I see a person.   A light. Possibility and hope. Hope for healing.   Hope for change.  

Everyone has something to contribute to this world and everyone around us whether or not they realize it and even when it feels impossible.   You may feel so empty, so broken, so devoid of life, so hopeless but you are not beyond healing or hope or love.

A person who has struggled with addiction and has overcome or healed that addiction and no longer takes drugs/alcohol has acheived an incredible accomplishment. It takes great strength and courage and dedication to pick up the broken pieces, the shattered parts of self and put them together again and become whole. There may always be scars, cracks, breaks, pain..but it’s possible to move forward and find true happiness, true joy in existence.

Why judge someone negatively for previous mistakes or a health condition or a choice that got out of control?

I have never struggled with addiction of any sort and cannot possibly know what it’s like.   All I can know is that it is painful, devastating, heartbreaking and difficult for the person who is addicted and everyone around that person and that it IS possible, with help & support of various kinds, to get better enough to live and be happy living. Whether or not the person is completely recovered with no more urges or still has urges that are difficult to resist. Even someone who relapses now and then.

It’s not always easy for an addicted person to know this or to ask for help or to not relapse.   And people struggling with addiction deserve empathy, understanding, compassion, love, encouragement.   They aren’t monsters. Many of them may steal and assault people and become unrecognizable to those who knew them before the tragedy of addiction but they are not all bad people . Underneath the devastation and the addiction is an amazing person who can find hope and healing.

After this girl I had the conversation with left me that night I started to think about our contrasting views. She viewed people who struggle with addiction as some of the lowest people on Earth, worthless, bad, taking up space in a world they don’t deserve.

And I view them as the people they are. Worthy of love, empathy, care, acceptance, compassion…

And I started to think about how we need more people in this world with my view. We need people with better understanding and compassion.

I thought of my own struggle with suicidal depression, which back then, a year ago, was not as healed as it is today, right now.

I thought of all the moments I wanted to kill myself in this life, feeling as if I had nothing to live for and never ever would , as if I was worthless, empty, nothing, as if the pain was just too much to bear, weighing too heavy on my life, to go on.

And I realized if I ever kill myself, I kill my compassion for others, my love, my empathy, my understanding, my acceptance, my open mindedness. If I kill myself, I kill all the chances I will ever have to help another, before those chances even begin. If I kill me, I kill the opportunity to tell someone s/he is not a lost cause, not an addiction, not a loser, not deserving of callousness and abusive insults and cruelty. I kill the chance to tell someone there is hope.

I’m not an expert on addiction. I don’t know exactly how to handle an addicted person, especially one who is acting out. They may need firmness every now and then and not all sap and gentleness, I don’t know. But that’s not my point anyway; my point is that we need more people with compassion and positive views of troubled people. We need people who will not destructively criticize and tell people there’s no hope for them.

This goes for any troubled person or anyone who has made mistakes with serious consequences, not just addicted people. 

And that if you ever kill yourself, you kill every positive aspect of yourself, your opportunity to eventually be fulfilled and healed and find or create a sense of purpose, and your opportunity for growth and your opportunity to impact the world and maybe even just one life for the better.

You’re under no obligation to live for others, it’s yourself you should live for. But there are people who need you to live, you may not have met them yet and maybe won’t meet them for many years, maybe you never will but your life will somehow touch theirs.  Someone, somewhere needs YOU to LIVE.  And eventually you will find or create a sense of purpose for your own existence.

Live for yourself and your own empathy and care and love. And live for all of your good qualities and possibilities.

I vowed to myself that night after that conversation which at first I believed to be unpleasant, that I will never take my own life. We should all live for ourselves. But when I used to get suicidal, I did not want to live for me. I saw nothing in me worth living for. But that night I vowed to never, ever end my own life even if I feel like it because if nothing else, there’s  one thing in me worth surviving for, my concern and care for others.   My empathy, my ability to see beyond illnesses and difficulties and troubles and mistakes, my desire, my longing to help heal and console in any way I can. This fulfills me.  I know those aren’t my only reasons for living, my reason is just to be,  but when I’m contemplating suicide I usually see nothing to go on for.  But this view is something I will always believe in. Helping others, also helps me. We are all connected.

I don’t live to be a “slave” and used by others, I allow myself to be fulfilled by helping and positively impacting anyone I can.

There are many, many people like me who feel this way about people, that they can heal and are deserving of compassion and love. And if I kill myself there will be one less of us.

(No one should kill themselves even if they aren’t compassionate or empathetic or caring.

Since that night, I haven’t seriously contemplated ending my own life. And if I ever do again, I have a sweet reminder of something worth living for.

And there’s also another lesson to be learned here, anyone can be our teacher even those who are unpleasant, even unpleasant encounters can be inspiring and teach us valuable lessons. This young woman who I debated with that night, this at first seemingly unpleasant encounter, provided me with the chance to think about things which have filled me with hope & inspiration. 

And here I am today, still inspired, still hopeful, still going strong.

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Xox Much love, blessings, & hope to you all.

~Kim

“Don’t judge me by my past, I don’t live there anymore.”

“Possibilities are everywhere.”

“Always go the extra mile, it’s never crowded.”

“Your past is a gift to guide you, it doesn’t have to imprison you.”