Archives

To My People – Ode to Humanity

Nov24

IMG_14170480_1

“Best friend, acquaintance, lover, co-worker, 
Even if I don’t know you, all the good that you do,
Helps me see my way through,
Service space thanks for sharing all the good news” ~ Empty Hands 

Nimo Patel (of Empty Hands Music) is one of my favorite singers! All his songs are great, I love both the tunes and his messages. You know how you may love the words of a song but not the tune or music? Or the other way around, you really like the tune or music but not the words or message? One example of a song I like the tune and music of but not the words is “Pumped up Kicks” I think it’s called. It’s so uplifting and will get you pumped…..until you realize it’s a song about gun violence! He’s like running through the school blowing away all the kids. I don’t have anything against people listening to it, it’s just not my cup of tea(i do listen to Alice Cooper’s twisted songs about killing and stuff, Alice gets away with it just because he’s Alice! Lol).

Anyway, I love every single one of Nimo Patel’s songs, both the tunes and the messages. Most of his songs are about universal love, loving everyone, friends, family, strangers no matter their views, ethnicity, lifestyles, about togetherness and being thankful for life and every single living being in it, insects, humans, everything. So beautiful! 

So today I want to share this incredible song, “To My People – Ode to Humanity.” I love it because “my people” are not just their own friends and family and community…but people everywhere, even strangers. It’s an ode to humanity. The singers are thankful for every single life, even those they never met. They acknowledge the goodness in everyone all around the world and give thanks. They encourage us to love our friends, our family, our acquaintances, our coworkers, everyone. 

This song resonates with me so deeply. I have always felt this way and sometimes I feel it deeper than other occasions. But I frequently feel that everyone is someone to me, even strangers. Every life matters to me. I can identify with everyone in some way, some more deeply than others. I think if we tune into our empathy and wisdom, we can all feel this way often. We can relate to one another through our basic humanness, even other species because members of other species (animals, insects) share our basic will, desire to live, to avoid suffering and gravitate towards pleasure and relief.  

“To my people yeh,
You’re my soul, you’re my roots 
Your’re my family, my life and my truth
To my people yeh,
Your everybody, every being, every life, every moment, everything
To my people yeh,
Your my God, you’re my soul,
You’re the one that pushes me to help me grow
To my people yeh, 
I bow down to your heart of gold” ~ Empty Hands 

Imagine a world full of not strangers but friends, family, acquaintances, even if we don’t know them, we have some sense of kinship with them. Everywhere we look, in crowded shopping malls, in cars around us, at work, in stores, in hospitals,….we see family, living beings who are all someone to us and have a place in our heart.  Imagine.

Wouldn’t that be beautiful? 

We all have a name, a life, a breath, goals, pleasure, pain, happiness, fears, loves, a desire to avoid suffering, and gravitate towards things that bring pleasure or relief. 

Underneath we are really quite similar.

We can practice feeling this more frequently and deeply by intentionally wishing the best for each person, each sentient being, we look at even if those people don’t know it. Even if just in our heads we can hope nothing but good for each person, animal, life we encounter. Each person we see on the streets, in cars, in stores, we can consciously, make it a point to think positive, pleasant things about those people. This can get our minds in the habit of loving everyone. I often feel this automatically without even trying but when I don’t feel it, I can make an intentional decision to wish each person the best. Not only is it just great to feel this, it can carry over into our actions, consciously or unconsciously. 

I am so thankful for every life I come across in some way, no matter how briefly, online and in person. Every encounter we have with someone can impact that person so let’s make it a positive encounter. Let’s smile and send out love and engage in acts of kindness.

I’m so thankful for Nimo Patel and those who can write and sing these messages I receive so deeply, so lovingly. They take the words right out of my mouth, my heart, my being.

So I dedicate this post to my people.

You, you, you, you, and you! All of you and everyone around the world.

I bow down to your heart of gold.

I appreciate your goodness, your beauty, your love, your kindness, your compassion, your smile….

I love you and wish you the best in everything you do, all the good intentions you have. 

I wish us all the best. It may seem like it doesn’t make sense because sometimes what’s best for one person may not be to someone else. What’s “best” for one may be the “worst” for someone else.For example two people going on a job interview and only one can get it. How can they both get the best? And what if someone wants to murder someone, that may seem best to the potential murderer but certainly not to the victim! The person who doesn’t get the job can still be at peace, still be happy and just try again. And the potential murderer can change and no longer hurt or try to hurt people.  When I wish the best for others, I don’t just mean in an external way but inside, inner peace and love and happiness. Some people argue that universal love cannot possibly work out in a practical sense even if it’s a beautiful concept. But that’s simply not true. When we wish others the best, we are referring to an inner experience whatever happens on the outside. 

Here is this wonderful song! 

To My People – Ode to Humanity – mobile

To My People – Ode to Humanity – desktop

Much love to you, 

😀

Xoxo Kim ❤ ❤ 

Ocean

Nov23

IMG_14170244_1(1)

“Let yourself be open and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes it undrinkable. In a lake almost unnoticed.”

This is a fantastic message with deep meaning. I love the analogy to life.

If I have a life so full of happiness and love and my virtue of patience is strong, when unpleasant things come along, it will only be like a drop, a drop of unsettling things in an ocean of vast love and happiness. The positive things will drown out the unpleasant, washing them away in all the beauty.

But if I live a life of very little happiness and love and my virtue of patience isn’t yet strongly developed, the unsettling things are more like a spoonful in just a cup of happiness and love. It can taint the whole cup where in an ocean or lake, the water, love, happiness, patience….is vast enough, deep enough to stand untarnished.

Let’s focus on and build on the positive. Then when the unpleasant comes along we’ll be ready.

Love & Hugs,

❤ 😀

xoxo Kim

November Sunset <3

Nov22

IMG_14170385

“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, “Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner.” I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.” ~Carl R. Rogers

This is the sun setting this evening around 4:35pm! My sister and me were sitting in the living room and I saw the walls overcome in a pink/orange glow and I said “Is that the sun setting already?!” It seemed early for the sunset! My dog, Woody, was sleeping on me and I did not want to disturb him but I wanred to check the sunset before it disappeared! So after a minute I made him get up ran to the front door and gasped so loud my next door neighbors who were out turned quickly to look at me but I was in awe! And still am! 😀

The above picture is exactly what it looked like! Not much pink or orange, just blue and bright, bright yellow! Isn’t it stunning?! So beautiful!

IMG_14170390

IMG_14170391

The above pictures have no effect and were not altered in any way, it really looked like that! I never saw a sunset like that with so much bright yellow!! I would surely remember! It’s probably the most beautiful one I have been blessed to witness!

But this one here, I did put an effect on just to see what it looks like. It’s not as pretty as the real unaltered thing!

IMG_14170391_1

And here are a couple more not altered. These ones I took on the other side of my street and there was no yellow! Just pink/orange but still pretty!

IMG_14170396

IMG_14170393

IMG_14170394

IMG_14170392_1

This blue picture is not altered except it’s cropped because someone’s tag number showed up in it. I don’t like when people put someone else’s info online so I cut it out. I don’t know why it looks different than the others, maybe the way I held my phone.

And I ran to the back door and took these out back before the beauty faded into the darker beauty of nightfall!

IMG_14170377

This is the side out back with the big tree then just on the other side, the same minute, it looked like this!

IMG_14170379

IMG_14170380

I love the reflections on the cars & windows!

and here are some beautiful Fall leaves out back!

IMG_14170384

IMG_14170383

IMG_14170382

IMG_14170381

They are so lovely and they feel amazing in my hands, rough but smooth against my skin.

IMG_14170378

“Forests, lakes, and rivers, clouds and winds, stars and flowers, stupendous glaciers and crystal snowflakes – every form of animate or inanimate existence, leaves its impress upon the soul of man.” ~ Orison Swett Marden

There’s so much beauty all around us in various forms.

I watched “The Gallows” tonight! I like it but my family said it’s boring! I find it to be creepy and like the ending!

I hope your day/night is going great!

❤ 😀

Standing Knee Deep in a River (Dying of thirst) – Joe Cocker – mobile

Standing Knee Deep in a river – desktop

Hugs & Love,

xoxo Kim

Empathy v. Jealousy

Nov20

1448075261929eSmart_13___fancy26

“Appreciation is a wonderful thing: It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ~ attributed to Voltaire

By tuning into our empathy for others, not just feeling another’s pain but also pleasure, joy, happiness, we will be happy for others as we would our own selves, instead of jealous in a destructive way or depressed when they have something we want and do not have. 

When someone wins, succeeds, accomplishes something great, or is just happy, and we feel a bit jealous or resentful, imagine how we would feel if it were us who has something great happen and then we can feel more happiness for that person instead of jealous, disappointed, or depressed.

Being jealous and resentful helps no one. Wouldn’t you love if someone was happy for you? Not that we need others to be happy for us to be happy ourselves but it’s a great experience to know someone wishes us well. So why not be happy when someone else is? Empathy will get in the way of resentment. How can we resent someone too much when we are extremely happy for that person? A little bit of jealousy now and then is ok but it doesn’t have to drag us down or provoke us to drag others down. Let the happiness and success of others inspire us instead of provoke envy and resentment in us. It’s better for everyone!  

When one person wins, we all win. ❤

😀

Hugs & love,

Xoxo Kim 

November 19th

Nov19

IMG_14170299_1

“Life goes on
no one gets rehearsal
life goes on
through everyday reversal 
with every dawn everyday is full of chances 
to find some good before it’s gone…” 

Today and tonight is very rainy. On my way to Buddhist class in Center City, I looked up at the tall buildings through the rain and saw people in one of the upper floors sitting around at a meeting! Lol Anyone else probably would have found it not important or thought nothing of it but I just loved seeing it. I saw three men in what appeared to be business suits.  There were probably more who I couldn’t see. None of the men I saw have hair. 

It looked important. 

Lol  

IMG_14170353_1

This isn’t the building, these are different, similar ones.

I love hearing and seeing people in the distance. And I love the sounds of laughter and talking and construction work, it just provokes a feeling of connection and Oneness in me, I love the life all around. 

IMG_14170354_1

The meeting in the building I saw through the window brought back a memory of a day in 9th grade when a girl in class had some speaker thing and either it called people or she hooked it up to her phone and called random people and we all heard it through the speaker. She did not know any of the people she called, it was just random numbers. A man answered one of the calls and he sounded distraught, almost panicked and said he’ll have to call her back, he was in an important meeting at City Hall. She kept telling him it’s important to talk to her right now. He did not realize it was a high school girl just messing around. Lol All the kids were laughing and so was the teacher. 

IMG_14170359_1

His meeting probably looked a little like the one I briefly witnessed way up on that top floor tonight. 

IMG_14170356_1

In class tonight, the monk reminded us to remember that everything is impermanent, the seasons, relationships, our problems, everything we love, our physical traits, our life….so cherish all that we have but be prepared to lose it. Depending upon how we think about it, this can be inspiring or gloomy. Remember to bask in the beauty of all we have and not put too much into problems or pain or negativity, it will all end soon enough.

I found the lecture and meditation to be inspiring and soothing and sad. I thought of my coworker, Diane, who died in February. I was very close to her and I don’t always cope with her death well. And I thought of those I will likely lose later, animals and humans. It was soothing to hear our teacher remind us that loss is just part of life, just the way it goes and it doesn’t have to destroy us. He used an analogy of staying at a luxurious hotel for a few days and having to leave it. We don’t break down over having to leave the beautiful room and bath and breakfast in bed and king sized bed and incredible view and room service and all because we knew all along it would end. It was never ours to keep. We were prepared to have it end. It’s like our life now. It was never ours to keep, the relationships we have aren’t meant to last forever. The very nature of life is change. If we just prepare ourself for it to end, like the way we know vacations end, we will be great. We are travelers just passing through life. 

IMG_14170358_1

We were also reminded that the most important things are love, wisdom, and inner peace, not material things like money and jewelry.

The monk used another analogy of receiving a big expensive diamond then soon after, being diagnosed with terminal cancer. Would we even care about the diamond now next to something like that? We can have expensive things, pretty things, and still be miserable or still be sick, and still die. And we can have a terminal illness, experience a devastating loss, be very old, and still be happy and at peace.

It’s all about our attitude and what we focus on. 

IMG_14170349_1

When we focus on the good and focus on our breath for a few minutes, we can experience inner calmness. When we meditate upon the concept of death and loss, it can at first seem gloomy, negative, uncomfortable, terrible, but eventually it can bring us to peace and lessen our anxiety about it.  

IMG_14170351_1

It was a good class! Very helpful!

Last night was my little sister’s 19th b-day so my family took her bowling! It was a lot of fun! I got 2nd place! My mom got the lowest score and my dad and sister got the same score.

IMG_14170350

Here are a couple pictures:

IMG_14170307(1)_1_1

IMG_7803

IMG_14170319_1

IMG_14170310_1

IMG_7804

The people before us left this score sheet.

IMG_141703

IMG_14170314_1

IMG_14170300_1

IMG_14170297

Lol

IMG_14170295_1

I’m the only one of us usually who likes to get my picture taken. Lol 

IMG_14170285_1_1

This is my boys and me. They are just the sweetest things! ❤

Emmy is the little daddy on my shoulder and Woody is his baby looking up at me. They get so jealous of each other and both want all the attention. Lol It's so cute!!

Here is a sweet song relevant to the topic of impermanence and appreciating the good while accepting the bad and the uncertainty.

“You’ll never know which way a day is gonna take you
there’s always some surprise that comes along to shake you
you’ll never see exactly where the road will lead you
and when it comes to love you gamble when you need to
you’ll maybe break your heart on one unlucky throw
but then again, you’ll never know”

You’ll Never Know – Ringo Starr – mobile

You’ll Never Know – desktop

Much love to you!! ❤

😀

xoxo Kim

Father Figure

Nov17

AIR_20151112_00001

“If you are the desert
I’ll be the sea
If you ever hunger –
Hunger for me
Whatever you ask for
That’s what I’ll be. .”

Ever hear this song? I listened to it often when I was young. But I never truly listened. I liked the music and the voices singing and the feeling of mystery to it. I still do! I occasionally wondered what it’s about but those thoughts were very fleeting. Then I haven’t heard it for years probably, just once in a blue moon.

Recently I read the lyrics and found that at first they may seem deeply disturbing to someone not truly paying attention or not in tune with the wisdom within. It seems, on the surface, as if an adult man is singing to a child about wanting to be naked at his/her side and wanting to be this young person’s “daddy.”

Or like he’s in love with an adult but thinks of him/her as a child. (eww)

Who wants to lay naked next to your dad?! (Or who wants to think of your man as your daddy? [eww lol])

Unless maybe the person is a baby and like laying on the sofa or bed with the dad. Some babies/toddlers do rip their clothes off and run around in front of people, I used to! Lol

But even then I don’t think the dad usually says or thinks “I want you naked at my side.”

But this song seems to have a sexual overtone, not an innocent song a daddy sings to his child.
And not like a regular romantic love song where the singer acknowledges his lover is an adult.

(I never completely understood why some men like their lovers to call them “daddy.” lol But whatever floats your boat as long as they’re all consenting adults!)

But I felt, while reading the lyrics that this message runs so, so much deeper than the sexual or romantic or pedophile song it may seem at first glance.

I felt it before I knew it intellectually. I felt with my intuition and my deep wisdom before I truly read the words.

“That’s all you wanted
Something special, someone sacred –
In your life”

He may or may not be singing to a (romantic) lover. He does mention a lover but “lover” doesn’t always have to be romantic necessarily although the word is usually reserved for a romantic sense. And the person probably isn’t a child. A lover in the most basic sense of the word is just one who loves. “A lover of life” for example.

“If we have faith in each other
Then we can be
Strong”

What I think he’s saying is, he wants to be wise and strong and help someone else who may be in need. He has a hunger for being just what someone else needs. He has a relentless need to BE for someone else.

And I think that’s beautiful.

A father is often a person a child looks up to and can trust to guide him/her in this life. Our father is (or is supposed to be) someone whose love and wisdom can help us see through the turmoil and pain and negativity in life. We look up to him to protect us and lead us, to show us the way. But we don’t have to be a child to look up to a person like this and the person doesn’t have to be our father. This person can be a friend, a lover, a teacher, a religious person, a man or a woman,….anyone who has realized deep wisdom, deep love, and a strong desire to help others.

A father’s love is (supposed to be) unconditional.

“I will be your father figure
Put your tiny hand in mine
I will be your preacher teacher
Anything you have in mind
I will be your father figure
I have had enough of crime
I will be the one who toves you
Until the end of time”

The person in this song he is singing to may not be an actual child but childlike. Innocent and full of wonder. A person who is in a state for whatever reason, where s/he needs to be protected or needs someone to look up to. All of us are in a position or can be in a position where we are helpless and can be taken advantage of. There will always be someone bigger and stronger and with more power. We will almost all probably at some point need some kind of help or need answers whether it’s a serious situation like a medical condition, a mental health issue, or just needing directions while driving or how to fix something or a recommendation or help finding something. And most of us have power or an advantage over someone, whether physical, financial, emotional….all of us can hurt or help heal, protect or potentially need to be protected.
We will some occasions be in a position to help another in need. And sometimes we’ll be in a position to accept someone else’s help.

The singer (whether for real or just in the song) wants to protect this person and be his/her light, his/her guide, the one s/he can always trust and look up to.

The “child” in the song is symbolic of innocence and vulnerability.

And the “father” is symbolic of fierce, unconditional love & boundless wisdom.

“Naked” doesn’t mean physically naked, the body stripped of clothing. It is a metaphor for the baring of the soul, stripping the self of everything, of all barriers and fears, and insecurities, and allowing someone else to see through to the light and love and wisdom within. And allowing someone to see the flaws, the mistakes, the fears….Strip all the layers of wariness and anxiety and fear and embarrassment and let the true naked self be seen.

It’s actually a very beautiful song and message.

Well, this is my interpretation but someone else may have a different one.

“So when you remember the ones who have lied
Who said that they cared
But then laughed as you cried
Beautiful darling
Don’t think of me”

We can be this to someone else and also have someone else be this to us. We can all take and give, be strong some moments and allow someone else to be our strength at other moments, we can have eyes wide with wonder and innocence, blue with youth, we can break and need, and also be full of deep wisdom, have a soul so old with deep understanding and wrinkled with experience, and a thirst to provide and help and be someone’s strength and source of love.

“Because all I ever wanted
It’s in your eyes baby, baby…”

I hope we will all take advantage of whatever position we are in at each moment. Take advantage in a positive way. If we are feeling strong and wise, let’s reach out to someone not yet so strong, not in this moment in touch with the wisdom within the person, and help that person, guide that person to discover her/his wisdom, if we are feeling weak and in need, let’s reach out for help in whatever form we need it or allow someone who wants to help us, to provide what we need. It’s good to be strong and ok to be weak. It’s good to help and ask for help. It’s beautiful to give and sometimes necessary and good to take what is offered.

We can all be the child & the father.

Father Figure – George Michael – mobile

Father Figure – desktop

Much love to you! 😀

Xoxo Kim ❤

November Sunrise

Nov15

IMG_14170217_1_1

“There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope.” ~
Bernard Williams

It’s rare that I’m up early enough to see a sunrise! But this morning after 6:00, I woke up in an urgent state to unplug my phone because it was charging overnight and the battery was probably destroyed! But I soon realized that my phone wasn’t charging! It was in bed with me, under a book so my dogs wouldn’t find it and chew it! (I sleep with books…lol) I remembered that I decided not to charge it last night and just go to sleep! 

Then I noticed a pink, very bright pink, hue seeping through the window and reflecting off the walls, I thought to myself “is that the sun rising?!?!” I looked out and sure enough, it was! What a gift! Whenever I would purposely wake up early to see it, I don’t catch it, I look out and nothing. But on a few rare occasions I woke up accidentally and saw it! Even better!

So I ran downstairs and into the backyard
 and took pictures (hoping people weren’t looking out thinking I’m some creeper taking pictures of their windows). It was much more beautiful than it looks in the pictures!

It was more pink than my pictures suggest. My phone camera often has the tendency to make pink skies look more orange than they really look. 

IMG_14170219

I love how it reflects in the windows on the house next door.

IMG_14170219

IMG_14170216(1)

Here are two that I altered:

IMG_14170220_1

IMG_14170218_1

It’s so disappointing when I take a picture of a beautiful pink streaked sky and it turns out looking orange in the picture! Blah! But i’m so happy I got pics of the sunrise this morning! Sometimes the sky really is bright orange! It’s beautiful when it’s really orange and not a simulated orange!  

Like here:

(this is a sunset)

IMG_14169509(1)

IMG_14169506(1)

IMG_14169504(1)

This is exactly how the sky looked that night. It’s completely unedited. It really was that bright, that dramatic, that orange! It was amazing to see! It looks so fake! It looked like some orange entity taking over the city! It was reflecting off all the windows on the cars and buildings. 

It was only that orange though on parts of the sky. I held/tilted my phone a certain way to make it look as if the entire city was drenched in orange.

Here is the same night:

IMG_14169541(1)

IMG_14169540(1)(1)

IMG_14169540(1)

IMG_14169536(1)

Driving into the sunset! 

They are not all the same picture. They are slightly different and none of those are altered.

But this one is one of the above ones altered with an app on my phone:

IMG_14169540(1)_1

I love both sunrises & sunsets. Sunrise is symbolic of new beginnings and hope. No matter what happens, the sun comes up in the morning. ❤

😀

Hugs & Love, ❤

xoxo Kim

Get to know me survey!!! yeeeaaa!!!

Nov10

IMG_14166008_1(1)_1

This is a little “get to know me better” bloggy survey!

So here, get to know me better! Lol ;-D

1.) Define yourself in eleven words. Playful, compassionate, alive, mindful, positive, trusting, happy, depressed (only sometimes), loving, amused, inspired

IMG_14166714

2.) Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
I’m a very shy extrovert! I love my own company but also love to be around people! I’m not the life of the party, I’m the quiet girl waiting for someone to come talk to me but I feel very uplifted and energized and hopeful in a room full of people whether or not I know them, even if no one is talking to me. I may come off as reserved or socially anxious or introverted or a loner but that’s totally not the case! I’m just shy. But I eventually will open up. You’ll be sorry! Lol j/k

IMG_14166033(1)(1)

3.) What kind of food won’t you eat?

Cantaloupe, Eww!

4.) Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Ahh, this question! I never much cared for it. Lol I just go with the flow, bask in the beauty of now. I’m not much of a planner, especially not that much into the future!

IMG_14169815_1(1)

5.) If you could trade places with one person for a day, who would you be?
This would probably be interesting but I’m not so sure I would trade places even for only a day. There’s no one I want to be other than me. It would be enlightening though to see the world through someone else’s eyes, to live and breathe as someone else. I may like to trade with multiple people throughout the day to get various perspectives. If I can only choose one, I would probably choose someone very different than me in some way like someone of a different culture or religious view or someone with an unusual experience so in combination with my own views and experiences, I can try to deepen my understanding of the world and others in general.

“She woke up every morning with the option of being anyone she wished. How beautiful it was that she always chose herself.” ~ Tyler Kent White

6.) What is your best quality? List two.
My compassion. I’m not always compassionate but generally I have very deep compassion for all living sentient beings, even those who seem difficult to me. I don’t always feel or act on compassion, I can be cold, an asshole, angry…but for the most part I’m very compassionate. And I try to get better and better.

Also my lighthearted attitude and how easily amused I am! I can be in severe pain, physical or emotional and still find laughter and lightness often. It’s a fantastic way to be. It’s so inspiring. Everything doesn’t have to be so serious.

IMG_14168078_zps0qv3kw4g

7.) What book has changed your life? Why? A book called 3:00am. I wrote about it here before! It’s a fictional murder mystery with the main character being someone with a very rare sleep disorder with no known cure and the book really conveys the message of how each minute, each moment, each breath we take is extremely valuable, important, worth acknowledging and savoring. The man in the book only has one hour each day to be awake so he plans literally every minute individually to get the most in life, he goes for a run, reads his favorite books, goes on the Internet, talks to his dad…and plans each and every minute to live to the fullest before he falls asleep for 23 hours. The story is a reminder that each of us only has these moments right here, right now. We don’t have this disorder but we too only have a limited number of minutes to be awake/alive

I don’t always live like this but after reading that book I am changed and realize and live in such a way more than I used to, so that each minute counts and is the best it can be.

“Let’s cherish every moment we have been given; the time is passing by…” ~ Kool & the Gang

Here are a couple excerpts:

“Those minutes are my life, I nearly scream. Those minutes that you take so much for granted because you get a thousand of them each day are priceless to me. Your life is measured by title, wealth, and status. My life is measured in grains of sand, trickling from one teardrop to the other.
My nostrils flare when I’m angry and I wonder if Ray feels a small gust of wind. Taking a calm breath, I ponder telling her that I’m Henry Bins and I have Henry Bins. I don’t.”

(Henry Bins is the disorder named after this man who was the first in the world to be diagnosed.)

“It’s like Christmas, each minute a beautifully wrapped gift just waiting to be opened. Should I allow myself an extra minute in the shower? Could I read three more pages of my book? Run another quarter mile? Watch a YouTube video? Watch the swimming pool scene from Wild Things, twice?”
Check out my post if you want:

https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/2014/10/30/300am/

8.) What is your biggest problem/s in life?
My depressive disorder but it’s not constantly severe or always a problem. It comes & goes. I’m naturally & generally happy & cheerful. But it always comes back to get me. Lol

20150804170015

9.) Who is your role model?
I don’t have one. There’s really no one I try to be like and live up to. Except the Buddha, Buddha Shakymuni, I try to live up to his ways. I want my love, my compassion, my happiness, my selflessness…to mirror his. I don’t always succeed at it and still have a long way to go probably. I am very mortal, fragile, weak next to him, but it’s so good to try. I practice Buddhist meditation, listen to Buddhist songs, attend classes, have Mala recitation beads, and try to live each day inspired by Buddha and practice his Teachings. Dharma is my inspiration and guide. There’s so much I don’t know but I’m learning more & more about Dharma.

IMG_14163653

IMG_14170000(1)_1_1

10.) Do you have any insecurities? What are they? Yes, I have an insecurity that comes and goes, like my depression does, more likely when I’m depressed. I wish i had a lifelong friend, particularly another girl, who is like family/ sister. Sometimes I feel incomplete and less loved without that. I wish I had a few longterm friendships since we were very young.

IMG_14164364(1)

11.) What do you believe?
??? Well let’s see, I believe we are all One, One with each other, the whole uni-verse, nature, the stars and moon & sun, animals….I often feel very connected to others and the world around me. I always have since I was a little girl but never knew how to put it into words. I am all for universal love, wishing everyone the best, wanting everyone to be happy and well, not at the expense of others though. When one person wins, we all win. When one person or animal dies, a light goes out on all of us. Your suffering is my suffering, your happiness is mine. Even if someone gets the job I want, I can be happy for that person. If someone has what I desperately want and do not have, I can still be happy and congratulate the person. If it’s difficult at first, I can tune into my wisdom of Oneness.
I don’t always feel this way even though I believe it. Sometimes I’m depressed and do not feel connected to anyone or anything. Sometimes I’m lonely or jealous or uninspired. But I always find my way back.

12.) Does blogging enrich or better your life? Yes! Both the people I meet/communicate with and my own writing. I write for others and myself. I know every post may not be read by someone or “liked” or liked but it’s still worth it to write and share. It will always be here for anyone who may find it and for me. I don’t always publish everyday but I do write for the blog every single day. I am inspired almost everyday, some days the whole day, some days only one moment but each day I find something to inspire me or just feel inspired. I am inspired by what I read, see, feel…..and love to share and uplift or inspire others as well. Writing for here helps me think more clearly and in a more deep way. Sometimes my own writing inspires me! I have a whole collection since 2012 to look back on whenever I want. Once in a while WordPress suggests an old post to read after I publish a new one and I check it out and it’s years old and still so inspiring! It’s especially helpful when I’m depressed or in severe physical pain with a headache and I look back on an old post of mine and know I felt that way and can feel that way again. Other people’s positive thoughts and writing can be so uplifting, inspiring,and helpful but there’s a certain kind of hope and inspiration knowing I felt that way myself once and have it in me to feel that way again. My cover photo on Facebook says “Life is beautiful.” I don’t always feel that way. Often but not always. And when I’m depressed/suicidal or having an agonizing headache, when I see that, I am reminded that I once felt that life is beautiful and can feel that again. Can feel that way NOW! Or soon.

Most of the stuff I post here is timeless and can apply to anyone. I share my own experiences but try to in a way so anyone at all can relate. Not everyone has depression or headaches but when I write of my experiences with those, I try to make it so anyone can take any problem no matter how minor or serious, and relate. Most of us have basic empathy to relate to one another and we can deepen it.

I feel that writing for here also strengthens my positive attitude in general. It reinforces it, maintains it. I would be positive anyway mostly, but this deepens it and helps me be positive in moments I may not be without it.
It helps to strengthen my habit of looking on the brighter side of life. I write here of my struggles and my positive way of handling them. Sometimes I don’t feel like handling them positively but I am reminded of what I share here frequently and often get inspired to be more positive. It’s like a reminder to myself while also potentially helping or reminding others. And I love when I get comments, likes, and shares. ❤

Since I make this mostly a positive place but also genuine, I do admit my flaws and less than pleasant qualities and situations but I highlight my strengths and good qualities and it carries over into life off of the blog. I remember to admit my weaknesses but also appreciate my strengths and blessings more.

13.) What kind of music do you like to listen to?
I love all kinds but especially Oldies, country, and inspirational! I love love songs and ones with deep meaning and positive messages. I also like angry death metal! Lol! They never get old!

14.) four facts about yourself:

IMG_14167710(_1

1.) green & pink are two of my favorite colors
2.) if I were to die I would love if my organs can go to someone in need “Don’t take your organs to Heaven, Heaven knows we need them here!”
In fact, I would love to give one of my kidneys to anyone in need even when I’m alive. I heard the transplant is more likely to be a success with a living donor. Want my kidney? You can have it if you desperately need it to live(I’m not going to sell it to people trying to get money or something…)!! Just let me know. (if I’m allowed to give it, I heard living donors who want to give a kidney to a random stranger must endure some grueling hours of psychiatric evaluation. And I have severe, severe depression off & on but I’m not trying to die, I know what I’m in for! But the doctors may think I’m not thinking clearly because of my history of suicidal depression. But I can assure them I am! I just want to help! It is not without risks and won’t be always easy, but it’s worth it and the medical people make it as safe as possible. I want someone to live. I have two perfect, beautiful kidneys, I only need one!! I have no money so hopefully it doesn’t cost anything on my part! Lol) I don’t want anything in return other than someone living.
Since I was a young girl I have been deeply touched and inspired by the idea of organ donation even though I have never been personally touched by it.
I always had a strong desire to help.
I have known for as long as I can remember that I want my organs to go to someone else when I no longer need them. The only reason is that I want someone else to live. There are so many waiting for an organ and there are many organs that would save people’s lives but the person does not consent to donation. Every single eligible person can help.
I don’t care who they go to. People have asked me, “But what if your heart goes to a ‘nasty,’ ‘undeserving,’ ‘no good,’ …..or whatever other unpleasant adjective….person?!” First of all, most people are not nasty or no good. So that is unlikely. Also it’s better to take the chance of saving an “unworthy” person than not and a “good” person dies. But anyway, everyone deserves to live!

But I don’t judge those who refuse to donate their organs before or after death even though I wish everyone would after death! I understand and it’s your choice. Organ donation is a beautiful gift and it’s amazing how doctors can perform transplants! What a gift! To have parts of someone else to keep us alive! To give parts of our self to keep someone else alive! Incredible beauty!
Thank you doctors, nurses, technicians….& organ donors/families & beautiful people!! <333 ❤ Thank You, thank you!! So many people are alive NOW because of the love of organ donors and their families and the love and hard work of the medical professionals involved.

3.) I’m reading a beautiful novel, that I just found accidentally, about a heart transplant and the pain & beauty of the families involved, how one young woman lives because another young woman died, the guilt and gratitude she experiences and the resentment the dead woman’s husband has for the family who received the heart. It’s called “Irreplaceable” and conveys so many mixed emotions both painful and beautiful that all involved experience.
4.) I have hipbone length hair and don’t ever want it any shorter.

IMG_14169840(1)_1_1_1

15.) What eleven words do NOT typically describe you?
Motivated (I’m a lazy bum), organized (I’m a slob & a wreck), greedy (obviously! See above, I’m ready to give you my kidney!), athletic(sports bore me…and I’m lazy!), aloof(i love being close to others both physically and emotionally – I love hugs!), stressed(I’m often calm and handle things well and work well under pressure), dramatic (I’m quiet and balanced – usually), loud (I have a tendency to scream when people walk in my room {it could be an axe murderer for all I know!} but other than that you won’t even know I’m here!), tenacious (the description for zodiac sign for me, insists that I am/should be stubborn but I’m quite the opposite!, I am extremely easy-going, trusting, and have even been called a “push-over” on occasion!), sensitive (in the sense that I’m not easy to offended or hurt emotionally, I can handle constructive, jokes, sarcasm…), moralist/sanctimonious (I don’t like acting like I always know what is right or acting like I live better than anyone else)

Is that eleven? I sort of lost count! 😉

I hope your day is going amazingly!!

And hopefully you got to know me/know me a bit better?!

If you want, take the survey and let me know! I would just love to see your answers! One of my favorite things to read is “about me” pages & random facts about people. It’s so fun seeing little glimpses of who someone is. ❤

Hugs & love to you, always!

😀

Xoxo Kim

Waves of Love <3

Nov9

1447105974640eSmart_13___fancy5

“Send waves of love to the world, where people are fighting. The world needs your love.”

This is a beautiful concept! Sometimes when there’s arguing and negativity, we may be tempted to join in and meet the bitterness with more bitterness. Sometimes I’m guilty of this myself. One example is when my mom or sister do something I don’t like and instead of letting it slide or be loving, I say something unkind or accept an invitation to a trivial argument. Another example is writing a rude message back to someone who writes one to me, I usually do not do this but have before. I hope to get better and better with this. We don’t need more negativity, rudeness, and anger in the face of unkindness & negativity, we need more love & patience. Each encounter with someone who is being difficult is an opportunity to develop the virtue of patience & practice universal love. ❤ ❤

It's not always easy but definitely worth it!

Waves of love can be in the form of acts of kindness, genuine well wishes, sweet words, just avoiding insults and toxic words or actions when we are tempted, hugs, positive posts on social media, planting flowers…so many things!! 😀

😀

Hugs & Love,

xoxo Kim