“You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday
You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on
You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.” ~
David Harkins ❤ 😀
This poem is deeply inspiring to me. What the author suggests can be so difficult but it's worth the struggle and some occasions will be easier than other occasions. The poem can be comforting in grief but also apply to life in general. It's very hard to put a positive spin on death, grief, tragedy, and loss. But it is possible to see a glimmer of hope and light in it. And often necessary to aid in healing.
And with life in general, it's good to remember there's often a bright side to even the most unfortunate situations and if not we can create one. If we still just cannot see a positive side to something itself, we can focus on other good things there are in life in general. This doesn't cure all problems but makes them easier to bear and just brings joy into our hearts in the midst of the sorrow.
I just love this poem! ❤ ❤ ❤
My heart goes out to all who struggle with grief, heartache, and loss of a person or pet, depression or physical pain/sickness. ❤ ❤ Grief is one of the worst kinds of pain someone can experience. I don't think there's anything worse whether it's the loss of a human or animal friend. And chronic pain conditions whether physical or depression can also be extremely difficult to handle.
Like the poem says though, for all those lost, let's smile because they have lived. Let's carry their love and light in our hearts always.
Death cannot take away the love we have for them and the love they had for us.
Let's smile for them, love for them, live for them, and keep them alive in our memories forever. ❤ ❤ Let’s display some of their positive qualities whenever we can.
And for any problems we have, let's do whatever it takes to see that light glimmering in the darkness. Even when it's just a faint flickering.
Look at the vastness of all the darkness of a midnight sky, it seems never ending, all the blackness. But just one small star is bright enough to shine through it all.
“Into the darkness I fade. May my light lead me through.”
“The light at the end of the tunnel is not an illusion. The tunnel is.”
“I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round,
I really love to watch them roll,
No longer riding on the merry-go-round,
I just had to let it go.” ~ John Lennon ❤
Day 9 (August 9th for me) for the 30 day photo challenge is intended to be a day to capture a photo of anything with wheels.
It reminds me of this sweet and philosophical song sung by John Lennon. It's very thought provoking!
What a lovely song…
“I tell them there’s no problem, Only solutions.” What an amazing outlook on life!
Whenever we think we have a problem, let’s just remember these words of wisdom. Every problem is an opportunity to evolve and strengthen our mind. And an opportunity to express and deepen our creativity, finding and creating solutions! Problems can also help us deepen our empathy for others, which is a great thing! Instead of feeling defeated by our problems, let’s instead feel exhilarated at the thought of all the solutions around and within us.
“Another day has almost come and gone
Can’t imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I’d like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war (’cause)
Tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain” ~ Jo Dee Messina
I took this picture a few weeks ago on Thursday (and put a blur effect on it) and for some reason it looks like it’s the dead of Winter. What is up with the bare trees on the side?! Lol! There’s fluffy green ones that appear to be quite fruitful, in the back but what about those ones?! The barren ones. I burst out laughing when I saw them! It’s the dog days of Summer! Then my mom who was also laughing (she can be easily amused like me, just not as much usually), showed me the same kind of dead looking trees across the street! I don’t recall ever seeing bare trees like this in Summer before. Maybe they were always there but I just wasn’t paying attention(how unfortunate!). I know in April there’s a mixture of bare and blooming trees because Winter is still just ending and Spring is beginning. But it’s July!
Anyway, I was recently thinking about how almost nothing (some people would say absolutely nothing) exists inherently. It’s all about our perception or perspective. Two people can look at the very same thing and one sees something completely different. In fact, one person can look at something one moment then later look at that same thing but view it differently even when the thing hasn’t changed.
The weather for example, some people view dreary, rainy days as miserable while someone else is inspired and thrilled. One person can be thrilled about hot, humid days while others find them to be disgusting. Also, just look at the reviews for books, hundreds of people say it’s amazing then hundreds more say the same book sucks. It’s the same exact book! This just goes to show it’s all about how we view things. Is one person really right and one wrong? Or when I view something one way then my perception changes about that same thing later, was I right then or now?
In my daily book of positive quotations, I found this quote:
“A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.” ~ James Lowell
It reminds me to try to change my perspective when I’m struggling with depression. I’m generally very positive, even when I’m depressed, I often find things to see beauty in. But when I’m severely depressed, it is so hard to see life as a whole, in a positive way. I still see specific beautiful things around me but ultimately I’m hopeless or so stuck in a very negative state.
I noticed that some of the things that I view as positive or neutral when I’m not depressed, suddenly become very negative to me when I am depressed.
When depression hits me, every little thing is easy to interpret as negative. If someone looks at me when I’m depressed, I can take it as a bad thing, like that person thinking something negative, even if the person compliments me, I can misinterpret it as being mocked instead of sincere, if someone I know walks by me and doesn’t say hello, I can automatically take it very personally and negatively, where if this happens when I’m not depressed, I don’t really care why the person did this or can think maybe the person did not see me or did not want to talk to anyone. When I’m depressed, I often think of all the negative things people ever did to me or said to me, even years ago. As soon as my depression lifts, I no longer care and even realize that some of those things weren’t even negative.
There are days I am so thankful and think this life is a beautiful one, I have a house to live in, good health, a couple of friends, a family, a job, my senses….and the very next day or even the same day, I become depressed and feel that it is a terrible one, I live in a house but it’s not my own, I live with my mom, dad, and sister and feel that I’m not acting as a responsible adult, I have a job but not a “real” one, my health isn’t as good as it can be, I don’t have many friends, my family isn’t perfect….when my life is no different that day than the day before when it was absolutely beautiful! Nothing changed but my perspective.
It’s all about perspective.
Noticing this about myself, often helps me significantly when I slip into a depressive episode. I remind myself that this negative sensitivity to everything around me is only because of my condition. It’s an illusion. It won’t make my depression go away but it can help me cope and make it so my depression doesn’t get even worse by dwelling on the negative. I keep making it a point to change my views and my thoughts into more positive ones and remind myself how just recently, I viewed these very same things very positively.
This can also help people who aren’t depressed or don’t have depression ever. It doesn’t take just depression for us to sometimes view things negatively and feel completely low.
Sometimes we can think our friend or lover or relationship or job is perfect or amazing then later see all the ways they can be better. Our mood can affect our perspective.
Our situation can be exactly the same today as it was yesterday but we can see it in a very different way. It’s actually quite fascinating!
Even if something was always bad or we always viewed it that way, we can still try to view the situation more positively. Maybe it’s teaching us something or it’s necessary to get to something better. If we can’t change it, let’s change our attitude.
One way I found to help this is to intentionally focus on the positive in the people and things around us and remind our self that maybe it’s only our mood clouding our perception anyway. Make it a point to look for the good in everything and tolerate or accept the bad when we can’t distance our self.
I was browsing songs on YouTube and came across the song “No Scrubz” by TLC.
She criticizes him for thinking he’s “fine” or something like that, for trying to get with her while hanging in his best friend’s car, for living with his mom, for looking like trash, while she’s looking classy, for being a broke ass (lol), for talking about all that he wants while having no money…
When I first listened to this song recently, after not hearing it in years, I automatically saw the good in this “scrub.” He doesn’t have money but he does have a best friend and a mom and his mom allows him to live with her. That’s better than money! Best friends and moms are the best to have! Who cares about money! Lol And it’s clear in the song that he does have a phone number, whether his or his mom’s or someone else’s, he has access to phone service!
Also, while it’s not really respectable to be yelling to girls while driving by, he’s complimenting her for being pretty, that’s better than saying someone looks like trash.
I would prefer a scrub to be yelling out at me about how pretty I am than an abusive person telling me I look like trash(not everyone who calls someone trash is abusive, imo).
Some people appear to be respectable, have money, a job, a great house, education…but act in an abusive or cruel way or just not very pleasant.
I will take the scrub any day! Lol
He’s saying something good about her! I would prefer someone being kind of trashy than someone acting incredibly stuck up calling people trash. And at least he has things he wants. He may not act on it but at least he’s not dead, he has desire. That itself counts for something. I am especially aware of this because when I’m very depressed, I often have no desire and am numb and lifeless. So when someone or me has passion or desire or hunger, I am inspired.
Again, I see the difference in perspective. Two people can look at one person or thing and see them in a completely contrasting way.
She sees a complete loser while I think he’s not so bad. And this isn’t to bash her or the song. I can’t deny that the song is funny and has good music and a sweet tune. And she certainly has good things about her too! She can sing well! She can dance! She likely won’t get into a car with a stranger. That’s good! She clearly has a high opinion of herself. That is very good. It’s not good to be stuck up but a woman with confidence is sexy. Maybe she can tone it down a bit in one way but it’s ultimately a good attitude to have. She has all these good things about her. And many other things. She’s pretty also. She’s pleasing to look at.
I chose this song as an example because I have been listening to it recently and it happens to be a good example for this topic. It’s just random or coincidental.
And I, myself have had low opinions of some men yelling at me while driving, not all but some, especially when they follow me and try to block me and don’t take no for an answer.
Annoying! Lol
But I want to encourage us all to attempt to have a positive perspective often. It doesn’t mean we have to like and accept everything and everyone but it doesn’t hurt to notice the good, even in people and things we don’t like. It’s a great habit to develop or strengthen.
If we look closely enough, we can always find a splash of color even in the grayest, darkest, bluriest places.
It’s called “Savage” and the author is Iain Rob Wright. It’s purely fictional in case you’re wondering. ;-D
I’m not even halfway through the book but I love it!
In the book there are very few survivors who come together and do what they have to to survive, defending themselves and each other.
It’s basically the end of the world. There are zombies around but are easy to fend off for the most part. They aren’t fast and can’t really climb anything. All the sprinters (the really fast and furious ones who can climb and charge at people…scary!) are gone now. All the survivors who came together are living on a pier with a steel gate so the zombies can’t get them. But the book is really about how there’s another group out there somewhere, of living humans just like the survivors, but this other group is a serious threat to them. Maybe even more threatening than the zombies. They don’t know they’re out there yet. I haven’t got to that part yet.
The one character has a quote that he recites in his head, to give him inspiration and motivation when he’s in a dangerous situation.
“Into the darkness I fade. May my light lead me through.”
Isn’t it inspiring?!
So full of hope.
He saw it written on the ground outside of a mosque, maybe about a year or many months ago, after the initial outbreak of the zombie infection and it helps see him through the devastation and terrifying situations.
The quote is a sweet reminder that no matter how dark it gets for us, we have a light inside to guide us and all we have to do is look to that light when we are in that darkness. Whether it’s grief, depression, physical pain or sickness, anxiety, some tragedy, guilt, a zombie apocalypse, or just a “bad day” or low mood, I think that’s a great quote to remember!
No matter how dim it gets every now & then, keep it burning, even if it’s just a flicker, a sparkle, a sliver of a flame, it’s still fierce and can help guide us and help us help others. We can focus on the good in us and around us, do the best we can and keep going. And we can use our own light to rekindle the light of someone else in need. ❤
And if your light seems to be going out, just try to rekindle someone else's and yours is sure to burst into flames itself. ❤
"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." ~Albert Schweitzer
July 20, 2015 – I wrote this at work today but I’m posting after 8:00pm so it will say July 21st.It’s not. It’s Monday, July 20th.
I woke up not in the happiest mood. Last night I was hit with a depressed mood, not the kind almost everyone experiences now and then but my real depressive disorder flaring up. First I was just angry over nothing and everything. Angry and exhausted and kind of numb. Then the pain began to sink in later. I was having dark thoughts and a night of fitful sleep and anxious feelings all over me. I kept being jolted out of my sleep, like jumping up not knowing why. It was nothing external, but in my head. There were no dreams that I know of. I usually remember my dreams.
I kept thinking of all the negative things that ever happened to me, all the people and animals I ever knew who died(this brought me so much anxiety and pain), thinking that anyone I know can die at any second (more wretched anxiety and pain), every wrong thing I ever thought someone did to me, all of the mistakes I ever made, all the flaws I thought of in just about everyone I know, I felt jealous, lonely, and other negative emotions…i just wanted to end it all. I’m only like this when I’m very depressed, it’s not a general thing but when I get like this, it feels like it was always constant.
Then there was this serious physical pain in my head that came out of nowhere(for a few seconds I thought something was rupturing and that I was dying. And I was happy about it. Thinking, good, just end it all now. So yes, my depression was bad.). But I wasn’t going to succumb to this vicious disease (or whatever you want to call depression).
It is a serious sickness that just devours me like being consumed by some vicious entity. It can flare up out of nowhere and linger on for months or end quickly. It has to be managed like with physical diseases.
I decided to get to work, kick this depression in the balls, whatever it takes.
Being able to recognize it like this, that it’s depression, a true condition, and not just me being worthless is a gift. I do not always realize when I’m depressed and believe I’m just hopelessly flawed and worthless and that my life is nothing. Through the years, I learned to often detect this as depression and realize the pain or numbness and emptiness, along with other symptoms, is really the disorder and then I can do whatever I have to do to ward it off or cope as best as I can.
Last night/early this morning, I practiced Buddhist meditation and Mala recitation which helps greatly. The mantra I chose for these specific beads, the Mala, which I made at a workshop at the Center where I attend classes, is,
Oṃ maṇi padme hūṃ, the mantra of compassion for all sentient beings.
We can recite various mantras using one set of Mala beads but Buddhists believe that each recitation, positive energy goes into the beads and every recitation session with that mantra, adds more power to them. When we use a different mantra on the same Mala, all the energy for the previous mantra is obliterated and the power of the new mantra goes into them, then we have to start all over again if we want to go back to a different mantra. This is not that good for people who have been using one Mala for very long with the same mantra! You can just get a different Mala for each mantra. I have two, the one I made myself and one I ordered online (not as pretty! Lol)
Here’s the one I made:
I chose the colors and the beads.
Gorgeous, right?!
I get lots of compliments on this beautiful thing!
Here’s the one I ordered online to help me cope with my cluster-like headaches. It only came in black.
Not quite as lovely but I still love it!!
The mantra I chose for this is:
Om ah hum
This is just a quick one to keep focused and used for purification of the body, speech, and mind.
I love the idea of compassion for all living beings of sentience (even though I don’t always live up to it as much as I intend and want to) so I chose the compassion mantra for my main Mala. Also, I attended the Empowerment for the Buddha of compassion, Avalokiteshvara, last month, where the mind of whatever Buddha the Empowerment is for(like Tara, the medicine Buddha,…)in this case, Avalokiteshvara, is believed to enter our own mind,empowering us with that Buddha’s wisdom and light. So during our Empowerment (they occur once a year I think, here at the center in Philadelphia and maybe two a year in NYS at the Temple, I don’t know where else, and until we receive one by an ordained monk or nun, we cannot engage in certain Tantric practices, it’s believed we aren’t strong or wise enough and will make us sick), the mind of Avalokiteshvara is believed to enter our own minds,empowering us to love like he does, flawlessly, deeply, without condition. We still have to practice to get where he is but the Empowerment helps us get there.
His compassion for all living beings is so complete, so flawless that he can handle anything. No problem is really a problem and nothing is insurmountable when your compassion & love for the world is boundless. We look to him for strength and wisdom and love, as his flawless love runs so deep that nothing can break him. I also wear his necklace. He has four arms! Two of them are folded in prayer at his chest. And he holds a crystal Mala in one hand. He is beautiful!
Here is my necklace:
And here is me a couple weeks ago, wearing it but it got turned around in the pic.
When I woke up this morning it was better but not completely and I consciously, forcefully made lists in my head of all the good things I can think of. And tried to actually feel how good they are, not just list them. And I read writings by Orison Swett Marden, and philosophy texts by Plato and others, and am much better! It wasn’t a full blown episode yet so I was able to work on it before it got too bad. With my condition which flares up now and again for hours, days, weeks, or months, I had to develop techniques to fend it off or just cope with it when I can’t. I’m not letting this thing get me for months now! No way! I may have to battle it for a while now until the threat of it becoming a full blown episode ends and I’m doing a good job! It’s just what I have to do and is a blessing that I can do this and learned to. It’s like a real disease with symptoms and like a whole entity inside and all around me. Crushing me in complete darkness. Way more than just a mood or attitude. But I have come a long, long way…and am here to stay! lol j/k that’s not what I was really going to write but it sounds cheesy and funny in my head so I went with it! I was really going to write I have come and long, long way and that itself inspires me to keep going and not allow the vicious darkness to consume me when I can help it! 😀 There was a day when I couldn’t do this because I haven’t yet learned how or even realized it can be possible.
I’m reading a wonderful book by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, “How to Solve Our Human Problems” about how to always maintain a calm, peaceful, and patient mind no matter what pain or problems we have. A problem is only a problem if we allow it to be. No matter who doesn’t like us, rejects us, or even attacks us physically. How to respond with compassion, not anger or any other unpleasant emotion. It’s a Buddhist book but much of it can be helpful to people in general. It’s entertaining and can be read philosophically for intellectual purposes but is also intended to be very practical. I am usually very patient (I have been told I have the patience of a saint! Lol) but even I can work to strengthen my virtue of patience. The book is helpful for all kinds of problems, even handling physical pain.
I drank a cup of hot cocoa with whipped cream and chocolate syrup! Yum!
I’m also reading two fictional horror books! One takes place in a snow blizzard and these people, two brothers who are very close, and their girls, get trapped in it somewhere in the woods, I think, and something evil lurks there. Thrilling! I only read a few pages.
😀
And I realized even more how empathetic I am. I’m not referring to compassion at this moment but a deep ability to feel and understand a person or situation. I’m at work with a broken air conditioner and four freezers blowing HOT air on me while it’s 90 something degrees out but is said to feel like over 100. Drinking hot chocolate. It’s like torture in here! In the book it’s Winter in Virginia and the group of friends are in a car with the heat on, all warm and cozy. Then the traffic got backed up because of an accident and a police officer came over and they had to put the window down and the author describes how a blast of bitter cold Winter air blew into the window and overpowered the heater keeping them warm. I’m serious when I say I literally felt the blast of cold air on me. Right in the face!
For a split second I thought the air conditioner may be working again, and looked up to see if like the air conditioner came on suddenly and was colder than ever. Unfortunately no. It was just this empathy of mine. It is beautiful but it can also be a nuisance. Like when someone takes a blow to the face, even just a character in a book/movie, and I’m keeling over as if it’s me it happened to.
I think this book is called “The Snow and the Darkness” but I don’t feel much like checking at the moment. Lol Just a warning, it has great reviews but someone wrote a review saying it’s overly, unnecessarily, disgusting, dark, and disturbing. I don’t like stuff that I think is that dark & disturbing but this person may have a different view about what is “overly” dark. Horror and thriller is one thing but some stuff goes overboard, imo. I don’t know what the person means by this and I already got the book so I’m reading it. But I have read books that I found so disturbing I regret reading them. I hope this isn’t one. So if you’re planning on reading it, watch it! lol
A customer at the store I work at told me I make life so complicated! Ummm…whhaaat?! lol
He was saying it mostly in jest but he was kind of serious! I was just trying to be helpful! Lol I like to give people exactly what they want and pay for so I ask for more details than I really have to. He wanted two different flavors of water ice together so I asked in which order.
He took so long to answer I thought he did not hear me then realized he really couldn’t decide if he wanted lemon on top or blueberry and it was a distressing dilemma! It just added another problem to his day.
I find the whole situation to be thought-provoking. And funny too. As simple as I am, I am also deep with wonderful analytical skills! But I don’t go overboard with the analyzing either. It’s a positive thing! Yes, I’m bragging! Lol
I realized even more how one person can think something is amazing and thoughtful(my desire to get as many details as possible about how someone wants the person’s food prepared, for example) while someone else can find that same trait to be a hassle! It’s all how you look at it. Which brings me back to the book I mentioned at the top, by Venerable Geshe Kelsang, how nothing exists inherently. It’s all how we look at it. Some people find my cheerfulness to be pleasing, I get compliments on it a lot, while others find it annoying(i have been told I’m so cheerful it’s disgusting! Lol).
I’m eating Moose tracks ice cream! It has peanut butter cups! I don’t care much for food pics. Unless the food is pretty. This isn’t very pretty and it’s all melted but it’s delicious. And part of my day. So, why not?!
I was the stereotypical girl when I woke up. I was getting ready for work after a shower, trying to decide what, out of my like 500 shirts, to wear and thought all frantically, “I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!!” while flinging my clothes everywhere. :-p
I came out without an ounce of makeup on, my hair all ratty and pinned up wet after the shower, sticking up every which way. And don’t care if I look like hell to everyone. Lol I think I look alright. And even if I don’t, whatever. I’m a confident girl, even with ratty looking wet hair and absolutely no makeup, not even mascara or lip gloss! Confident in two ways, first, I still know I look good or at least ok. And even if I don’t, who cares?! Lol There’s worse things than someone judging my appearance. I really just can’t force myself to give a shit. oh yeah, and my hair often looks kind of wet in my pics because it is. Because I have ass-length hair that has to be put up for work and when it’s very hot or windy I put it up before going out just after a shower then when I let it down later, it is still wet. eww. I promise it’s not oily or anything! lol Ass length hair just tends to get in the way and has to be put up and I don’t wait for it to dry.
Here’s a pic of me today!
I’m in the closet at work! Lol
And…here I am again!
One of the things that cheered me up is reading funny/inspiring blog posts. Just one simple uplifting/funny quote or post can do wonders for someone! If you have something to say/write, pics to share, don’t hold back! Post it now, it can really help someone immensely! Not everyone will appreciate it but even if just one does, that is enough! And if no one does, at least you have the motivation to try. And even if no one sees it now, maybe in thirty years someone will stumble upon it! Who knows?! Once you put something out into cyberspace it’s there to stay! Even if you “delete” it. This can be good or bad. So watch what you put out there!
My coworker came and fixed the air conditioner, something to do with the breaker and switches in the closet! I’m not the one you call if you have a practical problem. While I’m great at remaining positive in problematic situations, I’m not very independent in this sense. My automatic thought when a problem occurs is “who can I call to fix this for me?! I NEED someone!” instead of getting creative and assertive and trying myself, I run to someone else. It’s kind of embarrassing because in many situations, (like today) kids have been the ones I relied on to fix stuff for me. Like my sister and my coworkers. My sister is over ten years younger than me (like my coworker who just fixed it) and she’s a great problem solver. My sister can figure anything out and fix it, phones, exercising equipment, any kind of technology…. And I work at a store so my coworkers have been various ages, some decades older than me and some over a decade younger, through the years. And I had sixteen year old girls, take charge, and know what do do during a problem/emergency before I did! I think it’s not just about practical skills, that too, but a mentality. My mentality is “I need someone to come and help me and fix this problem…i can’t do this myself!” or “this is a man’s job/i need a big strong man to help me out, my job is just to stand here and look pretty!” (I’m sure the rad feminists just love this one! Lol) I often feel relieved knowing someone can come and solve all my practical problems. lol oh well! I’m just not miss independent! Never have been, probably never will be. But it’s ok, we can’t all be good at everything now can we?! ;-D
I discovered some old forgotten songs by Hall & Oates, Michael McDonald, and some oldies but goodies and am now a very happy girl! ❤
I'll share a few!
I hope you will be happy listening to some of these too! I listened to these songs frequently when I was a young girl and some I have listened to more recently and somehow forgot about.
I listened to a song called “The Power of Your Name,” which is a Jesus song about compassion that I discovered last night but my wifi wasn’t strong enough to let me play it. Then when I got to work today I listened to it. You don’t have to be a Christian or Catholic person or even believe in Jesus/God to be inspired by the message. It’s about taking the compassion Jesus has for everyone and putting it out into the world, loving others as Jesus does. I love it! ❤ This message can apply to every single person, religious or not, atheist, christian, or whatever you are.
"And I will live to carry Your compassion, to love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give with the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion to see the world be changed…" ~ Lincoln Brewster
I would classify today as a good day! It did not start out very happy but I was able to take control and turn it happy by focusing on the good. Of course that will likely not always completely solve all the problems and pain we have, merely focusing on the good. But it sure helps!
So you see, even if our day doesn't start out well, it can certainly end well! And it's not even over yet! 😀
I'm sending you lots of love & compassion today and always! ❤ <333
Wednesday was “one of those days.” You know the days where everything just seems to be going wrong?
It wasn’t that kind of day for me but I was involved in the misfortunes of others. When I got to work, my manager was getting ready to leave. She’s on vacation for two weeks! With my boss who is her sister. To Alaska! It’s a graduation gift to my boss’ son who just graduated 8th grade. He’s the kindest, most respectful young boy. I knew him since he was a little boy. I used to help him cross the street! Now he’s going into high school! How bittersweet! He has very good manners and is very kindhearted. He chose to go to Alaska for his celebration. Yep, I’m jealous! Alaska!
So I am basically the manager for these two weeks! Along with doing all of my own work! I have two weeks straight (this is day number 5!) of work days with no days off! Hectic, stress, and busy, busy, busy are probably words to describe my next few days! It tends to get very busy here in the Summer.
Lol! This about sums it up! (it’s a screen capture of an example in Kindle dictionary because I’m like a little kid and think it’s hilarious to see curse words!).
And here’s another one just for shitz & giggles:
Lmao!
And the air conditioner broke in here again and it’s in the middle of a heatwave of 90 degrees and up everyday feeling like 105 degree!
so:
Lol! I may be having a little bit too much fun(if there is such a thing…) with these things!
But I’m not complaining. I love working at the store. Being overworked, though, isn’t fun but it does have its good aspects. More money to pay bills, more interactions with people, which I love, more experience, more moments at work reading and drinking tea during breaks where there’s no customers, more ice cream…so yes! Definitely positive.
Anyway, the order was supposed to come in for the store with all the products we need but the company who delivers the products to us was really backed up and so our order arrived very late. It should have been there in the morning or afternoon but wasn’t there til almost 6:00pm.
When the delivery man got to the store, he was clearly stressed. And he had to block traffic with the big delivery truck. That can be infuriating to people in cars in the back. I have witnessed countless arguments outside the store, through the years, with people stuck in traffic in back of the trucks delivering our products. It’s not pleasant. People can be vicious and uncivilized. Yes it’s so annoying to be stuck in traffic especially when we really have somewhere to be and can’t be late. It can be nervewracking for sure. But yelling, cursing someone out, threatening (seriously one day the argument led to someone threatening to take a baseball bat to someone’s head! And other physical threats other days with people just walking by getting involved…), and getting physically violent over something like this (it’s kind of trivial, imo) gets us absolutely nowhere.
The man was anxious having to hold up traffic. There was nowhere else to park near the store and he had these big heavy crates, containers, and things to carry so it wasn’t like he can park blocks away and carry all that. He wasn’t thrilled about blocking the streets.
He just told us that someone will probably have a problem soon. Then sure as shit there was a lady at the window screaming hysterically that she has to get to work, screaming all kinds of vulgarities, every curse word she could think of. The delivery man is a very friendly man but even he can get stressed, pissed, and be fed up. So he yelled back. And this further provoked the lady which further provoked him.
It was awkward! I was stocking all of the stuff and just tried to act like I wasn’t hearing any of it while my manager was probably doing the same. Lol
After that, he apologized to everyone and mentioned that he was just having “one of those days.” He said everything was going wrong since the morning. Then he accidentally hit the cart with wheels against one of our containers filled with water to soak the utensils for the ice cream and water ice.
The thing tipped over spilling water everywhere across the entire floor. The poor man, I could see, felt absolutely terrible. He was visibly embarrassed and feeling guilty. Just one more unfortunate event in a series of many for him that day. And to top it off, he just got back off his own vacation. Coming back after a vacation isn’t really fun for many people but coming back to a hectic environment makes it all the more distressing.
My manager kept reassuring him it was no problem and can easily be taken care of. My manager and me cleaned it all up. And she laughed, provoking me to laugh, because it really was kind of funny.
And sometimes we just have to laugh to brighten things up a bit. Laughter really can be the best medicine!
When the man was leaving he told us that this day can’t get any worse. Then he thought about it and said “you know, that just means it can only get better, let’s look at it that way.”
He was still clearly in a low mood but was still able to see a spark of hope and keep a positive attitude.
And again I was reminded that it’s really all about our attitude. Instead of viewing our “bad days” in a negative light that they can’t get worse, we can instead view them in a positive light that if they can’t get worse they can only get better! Or stay the same. Lol But even then we can focus on the gems of beauty and hope scattered throughout. And if they really can get worse then we can remind ourselves that our day isn’t so bad after all if there’s still room for it to be worse. It doesn’t mean it will get worse. And if it does, no matter what happens there’s something good to be thankful for. Let’s focus on that.
Also, the fact that he took responsibility and apologized after the little conniption, is inspiring and a reminder that we cannot and should not control others, generally, even when they are wrong. But we can control our own reactions and say sorry if we overreact. Whether or not we were/are wrong, we can still make amends and be the one to take responsibility. Offer them the victory and accept defeat upon our self. Not out of a sense of guilt or low self esteem but out of true compassion and desire to make things better for everyone.
So here’s my little life lessons/reminders for the day! 😀 ❤
I hope your day is going well and if not, remember, the only way is up! ❤ 😀
(this isn’t my photo – I dont know the source but it sure is funny!)
Recently, I realized how much I really do love Summer. The Summer season has the potential to be quite beautiful where I am. I often say it’s my least favorite season. It is. But I also say that I love all four seasons. All four are lovely and I am blessed to live in a place where we experience the diversity of all the seasons and the gifts they bring.
But often, when I think of Summer, I want to grimace. For the last couple of days it has been very beautiful summer weather. Hot but definitely not scorching. Actually, yesterday was really cool and very rainy and stormy. Today is perfect too. Not rainy. Hot but not overwhelming.
Then it hit me. This is perfect. Summer would be perfect if there were not as many heatwaves. It’s not hot weather I don’t like, it’s unbearably hot weather like 100 degrees heatwaves over and over to where even good commercial air conditioners don’t even seem to be working, that I don’t like much.
But I wouldn’t get rid of the heatwaves even if I could. Because a lot of people do like them. And it’s not all about me. And also Because I like diversity and it’s good to have all kinds of weather. Also, I love the way it feels to have cold showers and put on my pj shorts in the middle of a heatwave! Lol
So yeah, they are good for some things!
I like to have tea at work. I carry tea bags, powdered cream, and a box or cup of sugar everywhere with me. Lol
But today I forgot my tea and stuff! But I saw we have hot chocolate at work. We usually don’t get that until the Fall but we have a big box. So I had some of that since I forgot my tea. I started to feel giddy and thrilled because in my head it felt like October.
Every year when it gets cooler, we sell hot chocolate and today as I was getting ready to drink it, it felt like that Fall feeling, especially because it was kind of breezy/cool in the morning and last night. The weather was definitely not Fall-like weather but just cool summer air. But it felt like Autumn in my mind. I started dreaming of Fall and all the lovely gems it brings!
But then I stopped myself and decided to instead cherish right now and all the blessings Summer brings. It’s good to look forward to and plan for things but it’s also good to be mindful and appreciative of right now and all of the joys surrounding us. Fall will be here before we know it. This moment will never occur again. Let’s embrace it.
(me standing on the corner in the rain)
I’m often extremely happy to be right where I am, right here, right now. I’m naturally this way to a certain degree but with practice I’m much better at it now. Often, no matter what my situation is, even painful, I can still be thankful I’m right here, right now, and see the beauty around me. I almost never felt this way walking in 100 degree weather, extremely thirsty and feeling like I’m about to fall unconscious of heatstroke or dehydration. I would keep thinking “Winter! Where are you?!” or “this sucks!!!” but now I am very mindful of the gentle breeze that seems to lovingly brush against my cheeks and the vibrant green leaves hanging off the tree branches and the blue, blue sky above me, twinkling in my blue, blue eyes. And I’m so thankful for right here, right now. I just tune into the moment. It often comes naturally now but if not, I can often summon that mindful gratitude. If I had a choice I would never choose being out in 100 degree weather dying of thirst and heat but since I don’t have the choice, I cherish it. It’s fantastic to live, to love this way.
If we live too much in the future or the long ago, we miss out on the gift of the present.
(not my photo)
I love reading quotes, blogs, and books about mindfulness as reminders and ways to keep up the practice of appreciative living right now.
Here are some of my favorite quotes relating to the topic of mindfulness, Zen, or appreciative living.
“The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.” ~ Robert Pirsig
“Zen teaches nothing; it merely enables us to wake up and become aware. It does not teach, it points.” ~ D.T. Suzuki
“Zen is simply a voice crying, ‘Wake up! Wake up!'” ~ Maha Sthavira Sangharakshita
“The quieter you become the more you can hear.” ~ Baba Ram Dass
“If you have a glass full of liquid you can discourse forever on its qualities, discuss whether it is cold, warm, whether it is really and truly composed of H2O, or mineral water, or saki. Zazen is drinking it.” ~ Taisen Deshimaru
“Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).” – James Baraz
“The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” – Henry Miller
“When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”
“If you clean the floor with love, you have given the world an invisible painting.” – Osho
“To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour.” – William Blake
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein
“Paradise is not a place; it’s a state of consciousness.”
” I got something to tell you I got something to say I’m gonna put this dream in motion Never let nothing stand in my way “ ~ Billy Ocean
Here are some of my favorite quotes about how struggles can strengthen us if we let them and help us grow. And my pictures to go with the quotes!!!<3 😀
“May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view.” ~Edward Abbey
“Sometimes when you lose your way, you find YOURSELF.” ~ Mandy Hale
“Keep traveling, even if you don’t know where the road will end.” ~ Lailah Gifty Akita
“I don’t need to go to heaven or hell. I have been both places and always wanted more. I will settle for somewhere in between, so eternity never becomes dull and every miracle is something I never take for granted.” ~ Shannon L. Alder
“No one learns to be a good driver by driving along a straight road.”
“Love, happiness, peace – these are not final destinations. They are in every moment, every breath, everything.” ~ Vironika Tugalev
“The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn’t matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark.” ~ Barbara Hall
“…and as for this little lady, the best thing I can wish her is a little misfortune.” ~ William Makepeace Thackeray (The Rose and the Ring)
Struggles, challenges, misfortune, mistakes, guilt, pain, any kind of obstacles can all serve as a catalyst for positive change. We can become even better than we were before. Difficult circumstances can be our inspiration to grow. We don’t have to go out looking for trouble, it will appear on its own. And we can use it to our advantage.
“When the going gets tough, the tough get going…when the going gets rough, the tough get rough…”
” I’m gonna get myself ‘cross the river That’s the price I’m willing to pay” ~ Billy Ocean
I’m wishing you much love (and a little misfortune…lol jk ;-D)!! ❤
Check out Billy Ocean’s When the Going Gets Tough:
“Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.” ~ Native American Proverb
❤
I recently read a fictional book (book number two in a series) called “Tribal Court” by Stephen Penner, a legal thriller. I love legal thrillers! Many of the books in the series are already out so I don’t even have to wait! I already read book one and book two and am about to purchase book three (on the Kindle app).
“Tribal Court” is a fascinating book. The series takes place in Seattle and this book takes place on a reservation near Seattle. When a Native American man is murdered by another Native American person in Seattle close to their reservation, their governments sort of clash. The reservation is a sovereign community and doesn’t necessarily have to follow all of the laws of the state government. And if one of their members kills or is accused of killing another member on state ground, the person can be tried in the Native American Court, which isn’t very accustomed to things like murder in these circumstances and they aren’t completely prepared or familiar with the whole process, especially with unfamiliar state laws thrown in. The main character in the series is Seattle prosecutor, Mr. David Brunelle, who is sent to the reservation to prosecute the accused man, which he isn’t thrilled about. He’s not welcome there because he’s not a Native American person and is there to impose state ways upon their close – knit community.
He can be quite an asshole (especially to his girlfriend/sort of girlfriend, the medical examiner he often works with in court and homicide scenes) but he’s a likable character. He doesn’t try to be an asshole, he just does, selfishly, whatever he feels he has to do to get what he wants, even uses people. I like how the author conveys the character’s human side and not just his professional side.
Anyway it’s all about Native American culture, some non fiction facts and some fictional details thrown in to fit into the story. The author makes a statement at the end to explain what is and is not fact in his book.
I read the end today. Then later I looked in my “Daily book of positive quotations” for today, March 15th and coincidentally the quote is a Native American proverb:
“Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.”
This really is a great idea! There are so many great things coming to all of us, things we don’t know about and would never even imagine! So why not be thankful for them already? We don’t know what they all are, have no clue about some of them but we can still give thanks. The life we have provides us with the opportunity to experience many great things.
If we live in a state of gratitude for not only what we already have but all that is to come, it can allow us to be happier than if we aren’t mindful of all the opportunities we have to experience amazing things. It’s so uplifting to think about!
“Always believe something wonderful is about to happen.”
Developing, strengthening, or maintaining an attitude of gratitude and a conviction that we have many future blessings that haven’t yet occurred, can really shift our minds to a much happier or more joyful place even if we’re already happy/joyful. And if we’re not already happy and full of joy, that attitude can really help.
I hope you’re having a beautiful day/night!
😀
And don’t forget to count your blessings! There’s too many to count (even if we don’t always feel that way) but you can list a few! There’s always something to be thankful for even in the worst situations. Even if you’re as low as you can possibly be, there’s something to grasp to be thankful for. Some sliver of light. ❤
Xoxo Kim
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