Tag Archive | caring

You and me are the real heroes

Jul4

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I saw a quote a while ago that I can’t seem to find anywhere. I think I even shared it on Facebook. It’s something that says something along the lines of
Superman is not a true hero, he is invincible, literally indestructible, he can’t be broken or conquered, he doesn’t have the ability to be overcome. The true heroes are people like you and me who can be broken, defeated, hurt everyday but we choose to take risks, carry on, share our stories anyway. We choose to live knowing we can and probably will be broken again and again.

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I love this concept and it’s true. I was thinking about it recently when I was thinking about depression and my physical pain disorder that comes and goes. I’m generally very happy, positive, and joyful but I still experience random episodes of severe depression which I feel violate and contradict my true happy personality I had since I was a little girl. Sometimes I wonder if experiencing episodes of depression is an indication that I’m weak. When all of a sudden I don’t want to get out of bed or take pictures or go out or put makeup on or even go on living sometimes. This is not always true when I am depressed! Sometimes I do still want to get out of bed, see people, socialize, take pictures, read..depending upon the kind I have then. Usually it is not the numbing or worst kind.

Especially when the episode isn’t triggered by any environmental factor that I know of, or is triggered by a memory/thought, I think of the people with “real” problems, the tragedies they experience but they still want to live and post pictures online and go on social media pages and do everything they always did. This is a great strength they have. To suffer but still carry on. I can’t believe some of the horrors people experience and they share their stories, wisdom, and life lessons on social media outlets with pictures of themselves smiling brightly and sharing their joy and pain and I can’t believe the strength they find in themselves.

But it doesn’t mean that someone with depression or anxiety or bipolar disorder or addiction of any sort or any other mental health condition is weak. Even when we have a flare up or relapse. It’s just a different kind of problem. Mental heath disorders are some of the worst things because they crush our spirit. Even with physical problems, grief and loss, and other things it’s possible to still be ultimately happy while enduring it along with the sadness as long as the person doesn’t becomes clinically depressed. That uplifted spirit can remain.

But with mental disorders like depression even when everything is going well for the person, it’s a disease or condition of the “mind.” We can sometimes succeed in keeping a kind of positive attitude even with it but unlike with physical pain and even grief, it’s literally a thing of the mind or brain so it’s nearly impossible to separate the depression and a happy outlook. Depression consumes all so there’s seemingly no happiness or positive feelings or joy or pleasure.

I’m not weak when I’m depressed. I still go on even when it seems I don’t want to. I still laugh. I practice techniques that help me and I still try to help others. This is actually a strength.

And when I’m in so much physical agony because of my facial pain disorder that, like depression, comes & goes completely, that I don’t sleep for days and scream til my throat is raw, punching and slapping myself over and over for hours because I don’t know what else to do when the severe aching, burning, stabbing, throbbing, pounding in the one side of my face, eye, ear, head, won’t let up for a split second, I’m not weak. I still carry on. I still grasp and hold onto any slither of hope I can find in me that it will end or I will learn to cope and live with it.

I can choose to completely give up hope, to stop living, to let it make me bitter, to succumb completely and not get back up, to let it take over my life. But I don’t. I choose to pro-act. To ultimately get back up, to move forward, to smile and learn and share my stories and lessons learned in the hope of inspiring others.

Screaming in pain doesn’t make me weak. Collapsing with my face in my hands, banging my head against walls doesn’t make me weak, sinking into despair doesn’t because I get back up. Just like I always have. Just like I always will.

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If you ever think you are weak because you have a sickness either physical or mental/emotional/psychological or a relapse of some sort, because you fall or fail or break or succumb to your bed or to the floor in utter despair, when you’re tired and worn out and ragged, when you’re exhausted and uninspired and shattered, remember you always get back up and move forward and learn and teach and carry on. You’re still here!

You choose to seek help or to handle it on your own if you can and keep moving. That’s a strength.

When you experience something traumatic or painful or devastating and live to tell about it, sharing your story with others, reach out, learn lessons, and carry on, that is a strength, not a weakness!

Never getting sad, never getting angry, being fearless, not having the ability to hurt or kill, being invincible….those aren’t strengths.

Strength is being sad and afraid and angry and crushed but still going on, finding a way to still be happy eventually, seeing beauty through the tears, finding joy in the sorrow, finding pieces of perfection in the flaws.
Strength is having the ability to break but putting yourself together more whole than ever. With all the cracks and scars and flaws but being even more beautiful for them.
Strength is being able to hurt someone but choosing not to or saying sorry in a genuine way when you do.
Strength is how we react positively to our unpleasant situations. It’s our hopeful attitude, it’s the love and life we choose instead of choosing to become constantly bitter and give up.

It’s you and me, not a fantastical superhero who literally can’t be destroyed. He literally has nothing to fear.

Physical strength and other power doesn’t make someone strong or a hero. It’s how people use their power and strength. How they choose not to abuse it to overpower others when it would be so easy and so tempting.

We all have some sort of power to hurt others in some way. And sometimes it’s so tempting when someone makes us angry. But we can summon the wisdom and love in us and not abuse our power to hurt and destroy. Sometimes that’s the more difficult choice. And choosing the harder but more loving option is an even greater sign of strength.

“What makes Superman a hero is not that he has power, but that he has the wisdom and the maturity to use the power wisely. From an acting point of view, that’s how I approached the part.” ~
Christopher Reeve

Wishing you much love, hope, strength, wisdom, and courage today.

Xoxo Kim

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What if today we were just grateful for everything?/Zero-Based Gratitude

Apr1

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http://ezinearticles.com/?Zero-Based-Gratitude&id=2753810Johnathan

Jonathan Huie is one of my heroes I never met in person. Like Norman Vincent Peale, Stephen Covey, Richard Carlson, Sarah Ban Breathnach, and many more.   And Daniel Gottlieb who I finally got to meet, last night!  All of these people work or have worked to help better the lives of others.  

I am deeply inspired by all of them and their brilliant work and lives.  

Jonathan Lockwood Huie explains in an Ezine article here: 
http://ezinearticles.com/?Zero-Based-Gratitude&id=2753810 
What Zero-based Gratitude is.

He explains this by first contrasting zero-based budgeting and incremental budgeting, which are techniques often used by businesses, governments, and sometimes individual people.   In incremental budgeting, which is traditionally employed, the entity starts with the budget for the last year or previous instance and prepares the subsequent budget based on the previous one. Incorporating whatever increases or more seldom, decreases, is considered to be appropriate.  

In contrast, zero-based budgeting begins with a baseline of no expenditures as opposed to the baseline of last year’s expenditures. Instead of looking at some previous year, they just look at now. Right now.   As Mr. Huie explains, every single proposed expense must be justified on its own merit as opposed to resorting to the argument that it was in last year’s budget and that everyone is expecting and demanding it.

For most people, their gratitude is incremental gratitude instead of zero based.

When they have a baby, get a new car, get a promotion, more money, a new house, a new love…they’re all thankful.   If they lose their job, are forced to get a smaller house or less of something, experience a breakup, get into an argument with someone, become ill or have a sick family member or friend, they get disappointed and angry, lose touch with the gratitude they felt when great things were happening. They haven’t been as blessed today with all they had yesterday.  

But still blessed. They just don’t know it. Or feel it. It’s ok to feel sad but we can still be grateful.

There are people who say if the quality of life they have now was greatly reduced by illness or injury, they would choose not to live. Not to be resuscitated.  Not to be kept alive with a feeding tube if that means they cannot walk or take care of themselves, if it means they cannot talk like they can now or express themselves in most ways they now can, if it means being a “burden” to others.   If basically all they can do is sit up with support and look around a room, being fed with a tube.

But you know what? Many people like this can feel.   They feel the touch of others, they feel the care of those who show it to them. They’re alive and conscious.   No longer like they used to be. They can’t hold ordinary conversations. They may not be able to speak words, maybe not even completely understand language always. 
But they understand touch. They understand smiles. Their hearts understand love.
  They see and feel. They see flowers, balloons, smiles, faces. They’re not always suffering even when they re all shriveled up looking, in a chair with a feeding tube. They may look like they’re in an “unfortunate” state to some people but they can be very happy in their own context, just as happy as a walking, mostly independent person who can feed herself.

Some are even born this way and are some of the happiest people!   They’re not “vegetables” or “retards” or “burdens” or “brain dead,” they’re people!!

If I all of a sudden tomorrow found myself very unlike the way I am today, my abilities dramatically reduced, my body damaged, with a feeding tube in me but I could still feel, both physically and emotionally, I would choose life even if I couldn’t consciously say or even think it in words.

My life would be just as valuable as the life I live now. Nothing can reduce my value.

I would see balloons and flowers and smiling faces.   I would feel the sweet, loving touch of a friend on my arm or the healing, compassionate touch of a doctor, a hand on mine, eyes looking into my own eyes. Feel the warmth of caring people, the beauty of daylight, the beams of golden sun, the sweetness of a gentle breeze, the vibrancy of the colors around me, the life that would still breathe in me.  And that would be enough for me.

Even if I couldn’t see or hear, I would still FEEL, most important of all!

Yes I would choose to be a “burden” and I know I wouldn’t really be a burden. Someone somewhere would be happy to have me. BLESSED to have me. Blessed with my smile, my love, my will to carry on.  Maybe a family member or a friend, another kind person or kind and loving health professionals who choose to care for people with extra needs who aren’t suffering but are not as independent as people who can walk and talk and feed and change themselves. Someone would have me. And I would gladly have that someone.

And someone would gladly have you and anyone else.  

In a state like that I would have so much less than now but I would still choose gratitude.   Still choose life.

What I have now are luxuries, beautiful luxuries. If I lose them, this life will still be beautiful. I will still be beautiful.

Today I have a house to live in, a bed to sleep in, blankets, heat, air, material objects like furniture, books, my phone….but if tomorrow my house burns to the ground taking everything I know with it, as long as I’m alive, I will give thanks. Even if I have to live out on the streets for a while.   It would be devastating, shocking, depressing, but I would STILL have things to give thanks for, my life, the sky above me, kindness and love….LOVE.

On many occasions I would probably have to force myself to see the goodness, the greatness. But it’s there and I’m capable.

I have a chronic physical pain disorder and it gets so horrifying that sometimes I wish I were dead when it flares up to that degree but I learned more and more to remember GRATITUDE for all that IS right even when it’s flaring up badly. And lots of things are right. Even when it seems my world is crumbling on top of me.

This also goes for my depressive disorder.   When I have a severe flare up, I think about dying but not nearly as often and usually not as deeply as I used to. I learned to often appreciate this life and give thanks even when it hurts. No matter how lifeless I feel or how agonizing my emotional pain is.   I learned to live in the present and not compare it to what I previously had or to what someone else may have.

Depression and physical pain have been my teachers, teaching me how one moment, everything can crumble and it seems like I have so much less than what I had just very recently. When a disorder flares up out of nowhere or is triggered by an environmental issue or a thought, it can be traumatic and it makes me see all the little things I had to be grateful for before the flare up.   I become painfully aware of all I was ignoring. My emotional or physical anguish makes the simple joys of life jump out at me and it’s painful to now notice them and know I was taking them for granted so frequently.  Painfully beautiful.   Beautifully painful.

But these disorders show me how not to do that so much. I developed an ingrained habit to notice and look for the joys of living whether I’m in any kind of pain or not. When I’m in extreme physical or emotional pain, I usually can’t take as much pleasure in things as I can without the pain but I can experience some joy and pleasure.   And with practice I can even learn to increase my joy even when it hurts. 

These are some examples of zero based gratitude.   It’s true that we can wake up one morning with significantly less than we just had the night before but instead of using last night as a reference, we can focus on the NOW and what we currently have. Let us give thanks for this present moment.

In some cultures, like the U.S. Culture for example, this is our way, to be very ungrateful for the most part. Not always though. We often give thanks for friends and family when the topic comes up, and like some other countries, we even have a whole holiday dedicated to gratitude. But as a culture,  we don’t seem to make gratitude and expressing it, our general way of life. We compare what we have to what others have and to what we previously had if it was more. We can think of a long list, when asked or when it’s a holiday, what we’re thankful for but then we soon forget.  

The more we have and get, the more we demand and if we lose some things we previously had, our lives “suck” or “FML!.”

I’m guilty of this myself. And probably will be guilty again.  But I have learned to mostly be conscious of when I’m doing this, to be conscious of what I’m grateful for, and for it to become an unconscious way or “second nature” to automatically give thanks.

There are blessings all around and within. A whole abundance of gifts and goodness.

Even when our blessings are reduced and we lose what we have, there is still an abundance of greatness. 

Let’s give zero-based gratitude a try.  

  

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Xoxo Kim

Thank You <3

Mar29

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I want to thank Cindy Baker for re blogging one of my posts!!! And to thank everyone for liking it and all those who followed this blog!!! I have never received so many likes and follows here! A couple nights ago I was on my way to Applebee’s with my family and I received sooo many e-mails in an hour notifying me of all the likes and I really thought at first that someone was playing a joke on me! Lol!  I soon realized that many of Cindy’s kind followers read and liked my post!! I was/am thrilled! It’s so encouraging and uplifting! 

And thank you so much to all of the ones who liked/followed/shared/read within the last couple days however you came across this blog!

I love coming across and meeting new people! And I am so thankful for every person who likes/follows/shares/reads my content! I remember how thrilled I was when I first set up this blogging account and realized I had four followers!   Now I have quite a few! I created the blog for myself to collect/remember all the little things and life lessons that inspire me but I created it just as much to share with, inspire and uplift others in any ways I can.  

So thank you all soooo much!!!!

And please check out Cindy Baker’s wonderful blog if you haven’t already! It’s absolutely beautiful with beautiful poetry, quotes, photos, and thought provoking posts!

http://lesplaisirssimplesdelavie.wordpress.com/author/cynthiabaker00-2/

Xoxo Kim 😀

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Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’

Mar21

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Risk
“To laugh is to risk appearing the fool. 
To weep is to risk being called sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams in front of a crowd is to risk being called naive.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair, to try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greates risk in life is to risk nothing. The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, and becomes nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love and live. Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he has forfeited his freedom.
Only the person who risks is truly free.”
-Janet Rand

I came across this poem recently and I agree with almost the entire thing. The only part I do not agree with is the “…and becomes nothing.” part. I get the gist of it but I would never call someone “nothing” no matter what. We are all someone.  

I always say that I find inspiration and beauty everywhere. And it’s true.   Many things inspire me deeply. But sometimes, on more seldom occasions, I find something that pulls on my insides. Like this poem. It’s a physical tugging feeling inside, like it’s literally pulling on me. These words speak to me so much and I know they will inspire me and guide me in all the days to come. Moments when I’m tempted to hold back. Hesitate and contemplate not reaching out or speaking up or not allowing myself to fill with hope out of fear of losing, falling, rejection, stumbling, someone not appreciating something I say/do……

But I will keep remembering to reach out anyway, love deeply anyway, be happy anyway, hope anyway, risk stumbling and falling, risk rejection, risk the indifference of someone I have much gratitude for, risk appearing stupid in front of others, risk people using things against me later that I reveal now, risk it all for love. Love for others, for the world, for myself, for life, for raw honesty and openness and sharing….

Risk it all to live deeply and truly. Risk it all to be fully alive. Pain, indifference, rejection, painful criticism, appearing to be something negative to others…all of these things feel unpleasant but they are part of living truly and deeply. They are sometimes the result of taking risks and I believe they are worth it.

We can close ourselves off to the world, shut up and shut down to avoid loss and rejection and other unpleasant things and we may succeed in that for the most part. But we will also succeed in not getting the most out of the gift of life. If we don’t allow ourselves to experience the depth of relationships with ourselves, others, life, and the world, we’re less likely to feel true loss and rejection but also less likely to experience the joy and depth of true love. If we don’t reach out to people we can often avoid rejection but at the price of avoiding true connection. Is it really worth the cost?

If we don’t share our opinions and stories with others, we will be less likely to be ridiculed and criticized but also be less likely to inspire and impact people and allow people to get to know us.  

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Repressing love, emotions, and our true selves accomplishes those things but at the price of not being fully alive.

And reminders now and then like this poem are so pleasant and joyous.

The painful struggles that come with taking risks can be used to our advantage. To help us grow and learn, teach others, and identify with others.

” Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’,
Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin'” ~ LeeAnn Womack

Xoxo Kim

Thirty – Three Things I know for sure <3

Mar20

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Here’s my list for Day #4! I have been planning a post like this even before the 30 lists challenge! Here it is! 😀

1.) “Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.” ~ Samuel Johnson

It’s ok not to like people and not like things they do. But I believe kind is still the best way to be.  I’m generally kind to people and for the most part always have been, even when they’re unkind to me. Many people see it as a flaw or weakness or being naive. But I see it as a strength. I used to believe though, that when someone said or did something really unkind which made me very angry I should retaliate with more unkindness.  Not always but more than I should have. The older I got, the naturally more kind and compassionate I have become even to those who aren’t kind and compassionate.   There were still occasions I was so tempted to seek revenge or say something unpleasant to someone but I intentionally practiced more kindness and compassion, consciously making it my lifestyle, not just occasional acts. And the more I practice and mediated upon kindness, the more kind I have become. Sometimes I have setbacks though and I say something to someone that is less than kind, who does/says something that I don’t like and I later feel the guilt & remorse tearing me up inside. Kindness is always the way to go.

2.) Risking it all for love, pouring my heart out, reaching out in love….expecting/demanding nothing in return, is the way to be. I’m shy and it’s not always easy to reach out to help or compliment someone in person or online. Sometimes even people who aren’t shy may be somewhat hesitant.   “What if that person doesn’t appreciate my help or message?”. “What if I accidentally offend that person?”. “What if I come off as weird or come on too strong?”. “What if the person won’t like me?”. “What if someone just can’t handle too much sap in one message?”……All of these what if’s may come into our heads while contemplating reaching out to people in some way. And some of these what if’s may be real, maybe some people will not appreciate us or our acts of love and random kindness but…..that’s ok! I would prefer to reach out and not be loved, reach out and risk seeming weird or sappy than not reach out at all.   People don’t have to love me for me to love them!

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3.) Self – love and acceptance are important and are not the same as conceit and arrogance.   It’s ok to focus on and express your own beauty and goodness.

4.) it’s better to promote what you love than bash what you detest.

5.) “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ~ Rumi

6.) Sometimes intentions really are just as important or more important than actions. Sometimes people intend well but accidentally hurt or offend or fail to do what they tried for some reason. 

7.) The simple, everyday, mundane occurrences in life, tea with friends, reading a book, sunset and sunrise, hugging your dog, playing with your child, are just as important as, sometimes more important than the big things. The job promotions, the vacations, the celebration bashes…..

8.) it’s ok if life doesn’t always turn out how you wanted or planned. It can be just as wonderful, maybe even better.

9.) attitude and perspective is often much more important to our general happiness or misery than what happens in our physical environment.   It’s all how you look at it.

10.)  “A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.” ~ Elbert Hunbard

11.) no matter how long you have been traveling down the wrong road, as long as you’re alive, it’s never too late to turn around and start over.

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12.) getting older is a blessing. It gives us more chances to love, be loved, bless and be blessed, learn and teach, grow and have deeper wisdom & beauty.

13.) Gray hair, wrinkles, curves, and laughlines are beautiful.

14.) “Kindness is like snow; it beautifies everything it covers.”

15.) “He who is contented is rich.” ~ Lao Tzu

16.) being kinder than necessary is a strength, not a weakness.

17.) your true character is more important than your reputation.   Who you are matters more than what people think and say you are.

18.) “No act of kindness however small is ever wasted.” Aesop

19.) “I haven’t failed, I have found 10,000 ways that won’t work. ” ~ Thomas Edison

20.) “Where there is love there is life.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi  

21.) You can keep going long after you think you can’t. 

22.) “When the going gets tough, the tough get going. “

23.) “If you realized how beautiful you are, you would fall at your own feet.” ~ Byron Katie

You’re body is amazingly beautiful, all it does to keep you alive each and every day. To keep you healthy enough to live. Even when you’re sick, your body is working hard to keep you going. Think about it. Your heart pumps, your brain regulates everything, your temperature is maintained at a safe level…..your blood flows, your breath lives…

24.) “I may be lonely but I’m never alone. ” ~ Alice Cooper

25.) There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy. There’s always something to smile about. Always something to be thankful for.

26.) At any moment, we can choose to fall to pieces or choose gratitude. I learned this much deeper when I watched a video with Amy Gill, a girl who lost her twenty-four day old daughter to a birth condition.  

http://365grateful.com/

27.) at any given moment we can think of a list of reasons why our lives suck but at that same moment we can think of a list of reasons why our lives are simply amazing.   The choice is yours.  

28.)  Hopelessness isn’t always despair. Sometimes hopelessness is letting go, accepting what we desperately want can not or probably will not be, and letting go, moving forward. Hope is beautiful and essential but it can also hold us back if we aren’t careful. We shouldn’t put happiness on hold hoping for better or more.  I learned this better by reading things by Dr. Dan Gottlieb, a Philadelphia psychologist who experienced his own tragedies including the loss of people he loves and the permanent  loss of his ability to walk whe he was in a serious accident.

http://www.drdangottlieb.com/

29.) “You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.” ~Norman Vincent Peale

30.) Strangers are people with lives, stories, a breath, a face, and a name. They may not be someone you know or love but they are just as important.   They are still someone.

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31.) people can have strong opposing views including political and religious views.   We can not like each other’s decisions, actions, opinions, and other things but we can love each other and not judge a whole person for certain things. We can still be friends.

32.) “If the world had a front porch, like we did back then
We’d still have our problems, but we’d all be friends
Treatin’ your neighbor like he’s your next of kin
Wouldn’t be gone like the wind
If the world had a front porch, like we did back then” ~ Tracy Lawrence 

33.) “You don’t owe me a thing, I’ve been there too
Someone once helped me out,
Just the way I’m helping you
If you really want to pay me back,
Here’s what you do
Don’t let the chain of love end with you” ~ Clay Walker

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Don’t Let the Chain of Love End With You <3

Feb4

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A few months ago I discovered an incredible country song! I love country music; ever since I was a little girl it has been one of my favorite kinds of music.   I don’t come across too many people who love it like I do! In fact, most people I come in contact with either on or offline who mention country music, have a strong distaste for it. But, country will always have my heart!  

Country music is known by many for being depressing, sad, full of tragedy like alcoholism, spurned/broken love, and all kinds of other heartbreak. But there are also many, many uplifting, beautiful, happy, hopeful country songs with breathtakingly beautiful messages like this one I found not so long ago called “The Chain of Love” by Clay Walker. It’s a love song. But not a romantic love song. It’s about loving people in general and helping strangers every chance we get, asking for nothing in return except that the person we help then goes on to help another in need.

”
She said how much do I owe you
Here’s what he had to say:
‘You don’t owe me a thing, I’ve been there too
Someone once helped me out,
Just the way I’m helping you
If you really want to pay me back,
Here’s what you do
Don’t let the chain of love end with you'” 

The song gives me chills every single occasion that I listen to it! The message is simply incredible. When I first listened to it and heard the end, I gasped out loud! Lol! ;-D

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You may not like country music but there’s no doubt you’ll love the lovely message!  
Read the lyrics here:
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/claywalker/thechainoflove.html
I did not read the lyrics before listening to the song on you tube and I liked it better that way. I read the title and decided to look it up and listen to it. You just can’t go wrong with a song that has “Love” in the title! 😀

At one point or another, we can all use a little help. And there are so many ways, big & small, to help others. One simple little act of kindness can have a great impact on others. I even read somewhere that acts of kindness not only greatly and positively affect the person receiving and the person offering the kind act but also has an amazing positive, uplifting effect on those witnessing the act of kindness!  I have seen random acts of kindness that I was not directly involved in and it made my day! How beautiful!
Here’s a link about witnessing acts of kindness happening to others:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/out-the-darkness/201311/elation-the-amazing-effect-witnessing-acts-kindness-0
And here’s another link about kindness:
http://apps.cignabehavioral.com/web/basicsite/bulletinBoard/effectsOfHumanKindness.jsp

And here’s a sweet little story of a perfect example of a random act of kindness:
A girl wrote on Facebook about how her husband was in a store buying coffee and the person in line before him turned around and offered to pay for his coffee. He was so touched he turned around to pay for the drink for the person in back of him but there was no one. He went home and told his wife. So the next day when she went to that store to buy coffee, she also paid for the person in back of her to keep the chain of love going!  
I absolutely love, LOVE stuff like this.
I witnessed this for myself too. One day a lady I know came to the store where I work and paid for every person in back of her! There were about six people! And she even gave me a tip and extra money to pay for the next couple of people who were to come. So sweet!
I have also witnessed many other beautiful acts of kindness and it’s amazing to experience. 

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I don’t post this because I think the world is so horrible and people are so cold that any little act of kindness is super, super shocking. I just think it’s great to focus on the kindness we experience and witness and share stories we know of. 
Someone shared a sweet story on Facebook & Twitter a while ago about a young family who spent over 100 dollars on baby stuff at wal -mart and when they were in line their credit card wouldn’t work and the young mom was almost in tears so the person in back of them bought them everything.The cashier and the mom cried together because they were so touched.   The story received a few unpleasant comments that I read by people saying things like the people who were so touched by this must be cynics thinking everyone is just out for themselves so when a selfless person comes along and helps out, they can’t believe it. They said it’s not rare for people to help others and people should be more optimistic.  
But no matter how rare or common it is for strangers and other people to help one another, it’s still great to bask in the beauty of it and share. Kindness is not rare. I believe most people are kind to some degree, some much more than others.  But it’s still good to focus on it and not take it for granted. There is a lot of pain and negativity in the world. And some acts of kindness are rare. Like, most people probably don’t pay for the six people or even the one person in back if them in line at a store. And I’m almost sure most people aren’t going to chalk up $100.00 dollars for a stranger. But whether or not most people would, it’s still great to be grateful for it! Even common goods are great!

image

In case you want to see the YouTube video for the song, “The Chain of Love,” here you have it!

Mobile :

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0_9HdZwf60U&app=m

Desktop:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_9HdZwf60U&app=desktop

I never seen this video when I first heard the song. I just discovered it. It’s beautiful and makes the whole listening experience even better.

Xoxo Kim

P.s. Remember, don’t let the chain of love end with you.

Twenty Inspiring Questions

Feb1

I subscribe to many personal development, self-help, inspirational e-mails provided by bloggers and people with amazing websites intended to help people help themselves have better lives.   My e-mail inboxes are filled with almost nothing but positive messages each and every day. I’m blessed!  

Today I woke up to a wonderful e-mail with this link:
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/20-inspiring-questions-help-you-find-your-dream-and-change-your-life.html?utm_source=Lifehack&utm_campaign=f276feb792-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_983e966a3e-f276feb792-414760829

It’s a list of twenty thought-provoking questions designed to help readers look deeper into their lives and selves and really come to understand themselves better. I am so motivated just reading them! I decided to answer them and share my answers with everyone interested! I encourage everyone interested to answer them even if you don’t want to share your answers publicly. They really got me thinking! 😀

The commentary in the parentheses below each question is provided by SCOTT CHRIST, the person who listed the questions.

1.) What beliefs do you carry that may be holding you back?

(It takes guts to call yourself out and question beliefs that just don’t seem right. We’re all ingrained with a set of learned behaviors that may be holding us back. It’s okay to question them and seek a better way. That’s a true sign of growth.)

One belief that I allow to often hold me back is the belief that “It’s not going to happen now” or “not likely to happen.”  For example, about applying for jobs, I know that there are many, many people who are more qualified than me for jobs. There are people with much more work experience and more advanced degrees who are much more likely to get certain jobs than I am.   I know that there are many jobs I would be so great at if I worked there but when considering applying for them, I often think about the many others who will also be applying who have advantages over me.

 Just because they have more experience and more advanced degrees doesn’t necessarily mean they will be better at the job than me. But an interviewer may assume that.  So while I have every intention of applying some day, I just keeping putting it off saying “later.”. 
I have to write a cover letter and fill out an application for each job. Sometimes this can be challenging and time consuming and I think what’s the point of doing this right at this moment when I can be doing something else and probably won’t get the job anyway. 
I also often think “What if I apply for a job right now and forget to add something valuable that I may remember later so I should just wait…”
These are very limiting beliefs and while there’s some truth to some parts, it’s also unreasonable and very destructive to think this way.  
We all have unique abilities, strengths, qualities, experiences, and our own gifts that add value to the workplace, relationships, and the world.   There’s always going to be someone more qualified than me and someone less qualified than me for certain jobs and that’s not a bad thing. It’s just a fact.  An interviewer or person reviewing my job application may just see something in me that s/he feels is worth giving a chance even if someone else seems more qualified. This goes for everyone. You may be less qualified in experience and academics but just as qualified or more in other ways, like your interpersonal skills or certain thoughts you have. This is even true for college applications.  I have known kids with excellent grades and attendance who were rejected by prestigious universities and others with less impressive grades who were accepted. It’s a combination of things that help get people where they want to be. Instead of focusing on how others are “better” in some ways, I should just focus on being the best me I can be in every way.
And there’s really no reason for me to procrastinate out of fear of forgetting certain valuable info. Because if that can happen now, it can happen later. As long as I’m thinking clearly and have the time, it’s best to fill out that app NOW and just pay careful attention to it. If I blow my chance, oh well! It’s not the end of the world! There will be many more opportunities for me!

2.) What’s your hobby?

(The things you love to do in your downtime can tell you a lot about how to find happiness in your life. Do the stuff you enjoy doing, and you’ll get closer to finding your true calling.)

I have quite a few that I absolutely love! One of those hobbies I have just become more and more interested in and feel myself becoming more creative with is photography! I have loved taking pictures all my life but now I’m very into it.  I use my bb10 phone and have great photo apps and I love finding quotes to go along with my photos.   I plan to get a camera one day when I get money. I also love writing poetic things and writing blog posts.    
I love reading too. I love personal development and philosophy readings and also novels.   Especially ones with profound messages.
I listen to music a lot and love collecting inspirational lyrics and quotes and applying them to real life situations and sharing them.

3.) What’s your talent?

( One thing that’s even more important than recognizing your hobbies is understanding your talents. What are you good at? If you asked five friends, what would they identify as your biggest assets? The answers can help you find your dream and change your life.)

I always felt that I have no talents because I never possessed any beautiful artistic skills or anything. I don’t draw good even when I try. I don’t sing well at all and have no natural “callings” that way. But there is one thing. It’s not an artistic skill but it’s very valuable.   I am extremely empathetic and understanding. I always have been but when I grew up, it developed so much deeper. I truly have an uncanny ability to understand people and situations even when I haven’t, myself, experienced the same things those people have and have never been in those specific situations. I don’t believe or claim to know exactly how someone else feels but I do have a very deep understanding which allows me to connect deeper with others and provide consolation and great support to people. I don’t negatively judge and try to get people to “snap out of it” or wonder how they can feel that way. I just know. I know how people can think and feel ways that I wouldn’t think or feel because of my strong empathy.   And I can draw on my own experiences to be even more understanding. 
Even when people have strongly opposing views to mine, I don’t agree but can still see how they can feel that way, even if I’m irked or angry! Lol
Empathy isn’t just about caring and being compassionate either.   It’s even deeper. It’s a deep understanding of someone else’s situation and experiences. It’s somewhat difficult to explain the depth of my empathy.   And I fear that people may think I’m overstepping my boundaries and claiming to know how they feel. But that’s not it at all.  
I don’t know. But I understand a certain way.
And empathy isn’t just about understanding and feeling people’s pain but also happiness and pleasure. I feel almost as if it’s happening to me.   I literally feel their pain & pleasure but I know it’s not exactly how they feel it since I’m not them.   If you win the multi-million dollar lotto, I will feel like I just did too. If you’re in a manic episode, it will rub off on me. If you’re in an accident even if I don’t know you, I will be shakin’ up almost as if I do know you.   I have thin psychological boundaries and unlike most people who just feel sorry or sad for someone or just curious and then go about their day, I feel as if I’m somehow involved, personally, to some degree, in your situation.  Even later.

  One day at 2:00 in the morning there was an ambulance outside my house for a neighbor and I had no idea what was going on or who it was for. My mom was mostly just curious, looking out the Window  but I felt distress, sorrow, and a desperate hope that it wasn’t something too horrific going on. I could just imagine how it would feel if I was in a situation like that.   I am a calm girl and don’t freak out or panic even when stuff is happening to me but I was expressing my deep concern.  My mom said it’s weird how I act over things that don’t involve me one bit.  It’s a true gift but it can be draining and painful and I had to learn to cope with this gift.

4.) Who do you like to work with?
(Think about the people who you work well with. Use your intuition to guide you toward similar people in your work environment.)

I love to work with fun people who are easy to get a long with and also like to do teamwork. Ones who handle difficulties well without wanting to engage in complicated arguments. I like people who want to build up and uplift others and not have negative competitions. And even if there’s like a competition for a promotion we both want, I would like us to still get along and not hold grudges and just wish each other well.

5.) Where do you enjoy working?

(What is the work setting where you’re most productive? Perhaps in group meetings? Or alone in your office? Try spending most of your time there. If you’re stuck in a job that puts you in a setting you don’t enjoy, speak up and tell your boss.)

I want a job working closely with others. I don’t mind an office job as long as parts of the day involve interacting with people.

6.) What are your passions?

( What makes you genuinely happy in life? Identify your passions, and then do everything in your power to spend timedoing the things you love. Then answer this:)

I love inspiring, helping, nurturing and uplifting people. That’s one reason I decided to have a blog. I also love sharing uplifting messages and I want to have a peer specialist or counseling job. I’m also passionate about Nature and love taking pictures of everything outside.   It’s so beautiful. I’m passionate about certain songs as well.

7.) How can you turn your passions into work?
(It’s one thing to pursue your passion as a hobby. It’s a whole different ballgame to do what you love and get paid for it. If you’re stuck in a job you hate, find a way to turn your passion into your career. If you want something badly enough, and are willing to take action and do the things that others aren’t willing to do, you’ll achieve whatever you want in your career and in your life.)

 Applying for jobs working with people and applying my people skills to my work!

8.) What inspires you? 
(Where do you find inspiration to drive you forward? Maybe it’s books, websites, friends, or family members. The point is, harness your preferred sources of inspiration every day.)

Books, blogs, websites, life itself, people, heartwarming stories, random acts of kindness, songs, quotes, photography, sunrises and sunsets, rain, snow, the sky, other aspects of Nature.   Heartache, pain, tears, and healing. Laughter and daylight. Nightfall. Cracks on the pavements, chipped paint, the darkness of night, breathing, my heartbeat….I find inspiration everywhere.

9.) How do you motivate yourself to take action?
(Being inspired is great. But if you don’t have a method and plan to motivate yourself to make positive change in your life, you’ll remain in the same place you’re in today.)

Inspiration is beautiful and I’m often inspired and it drives me to do many things. But I view inspiration itself as more of a feeling inside while motivation is more action associated. Inspiration can lead to motivation and help maintain it. I have random bursts of motivation that I can’t explain. They come out of nowhere then I start applying for jobs without holding back. But the motivation then wears off and I’m back to the problem I discussed in response to question #1. It’s great to be randomly and inexplicably motivated but since it’s not a conscious decision or habit, it likely won’t hold up. So it’s great to come up with a conscious plan to maintain general motivation. One thing that does motivate me is vividly imagining what I truly want and what it would be like to have that. I still have to make this a habit though because it’s not yet. Also sometimes I read things that get me pumped and motivated. Talk therapy sessions also help me get motivated.  

10.) What do you dream about?
(Dreams expose truths about our lives we often have trouble seeing. Keep a dream journal to record your subconscious thoughts. Whenever you wake up in the middle of a dream, write down exactly what occurred. Then analyze the dream the next day and look for signs and signals from your subconscious mind.)

My dreams are frequently about interacting with people, new friendships, and wisdom/life lessons. I have a lot of strange dreams, some ordinary ones that are just like an extension of my days, and I hardly ever have scary ones. But yeah, one common theme is people and connecting with them.

11.)  What have you overcome?
(Most of us have struggled mightily and overcome great obstacles. Don’t take this for granted. Thinking about the massive obstacles you’ve overcome already should convince you that you can accomplish anything you want in life.)

One thing I have overcome is succumbing to my crippling shyness. I have always been shy to the point of it being like a disability but not anymore. I’m still shy, just not as much and I open up much quicker.   Feeling shy isn’t my choice but I often now can choose to speak up even when I’m feeling very shy. As a child, I couldn’t do that. Even as a young college student it was hard. The more I interact with people, the less shy I become around those people and even in general. After I got a job at a store, I became much less shy.   It will never go completely away and some days I’m more shy than others but being around people, opening up, and interacting pushes me to be less shy. 

12.) How do you respond to what others say about you?

(You can choose to react negatively to what others say about you, or you can choose to ignore it. Even our friends and close family members can say and do things that are extremely hurtful. Words others say don’t define you though. Your actions and thoughts define you. Don’t ever forget that.)

When people compliment me, I accept those compliments very gratefully. When I am criticized constructively, I am also thankful for the helpful feedback and will use it effectively if it will be helpful. About uncalled for negative comments, I have learned to mostly just let them slide.   They’re not worth the time they demand. I used to often seek revenge on people who said bad things about/to me. I would say something back I knew would offend them, sometimes even trying to “get them” worse than they “got me.”. Lol!   I used to try to spread gossip about girls who did that to me.  My general love & compassion would take the back burner and my desire for revenge or to be right would become dominant.  But that accomplishes nothing worthwhile.   It’s ridiculous and I can’t believe I once engaged in that. To know me now, you would never know it. I have come a long way.  Love should always prevail. Now when someone unnecessarily criticizes me or expresses uncalled for negative views about me, I suck it up, wish the person the best, and move on. I won’t deny though that there are seldom occasions when I struggle to hold my tongue. But after practicing conscious lovingkindness for so long, I usually don’t even feel like coming back with retorts and little petty remarks to offend or anger. We can all rise above that.

13.)Why are you here?

(Want to know how to find your dream and change your life in one simple step? Then answer this question: What do you think your purpose is? It’s a deep question. But it’s an important one. You may not know the answer right now, and that’s okay. You’ll find it when you’re ready.)

I’m here because my mom gave birth to me and I never died.
 That’s all there is to it. I don’t believe in a “life purpose” or “ultimate purpose” or anything of that sort. I am here just because. Randomly.   Some people say and I have even said that “we create our own purpose” for living but I don’t even believe it. We create our happiness and things that make our own lives interesting, fun, and feeling like we have “reason” or “purpose” but I don’t believe that anything other than life itself gives me purpose.   If I say my “Life purpose” is to do something I’m passionate about then all of a sudden that thing is no longer something I’m passionate about OR I can no longer do that for some reason, maybe because I become permanently disabled or something, I would STILL have a purpose. Nothing outside of me gives me reason. I am the reason.   I, myself am purpose.

14.) Who do you admire?

(Seek inspiration in others whom you admire. Despite all the bad things going on in the world, there are still millions of heroes, dreamers, and leaders that can inspire all of us to live better.)

The people who always have my heart are ones who go out of their way to love & help others. I believe people in general are basically good and help people sometimes and most people care to a certain degree. But there are those more rare people who go above and beyond to help even strangers. Ones who are beyond compassionate and loving and just embrace everyone. I love people with hearts that are open books and they warmly welcome anyone who wants to come into their world.   They melt my heart.  I love animal lovers too who value their lives and believe they are worthy of love and compassion just like humans.  

15.) What are your weaknesses?
(Nobody’s perfect. And acknowledging thethings you need to get better at is a crucial step to find your dream and change your life.)

I’m horrible at math. Even simple basic math. I sometimes still struggle with feelings of worthlessness. I don’t have those thoughts and feelings as frequently and usually not as deeply as I used to but still have them occasionally. They used to be my life but not now.

16.) What are your goals?
(Think about what you aspire to accomplish in your life. These goals should drive your actions. Speaking of action…)

My number one goal is to be the best me I can be. For myself and everyone. Not to be a perfectionist but to be as loving, compassionate, accepting, tolerant, understanding, kind, and open-minded as possible.   To be the light in someone’s darkness, to inspire, uplift, encourage, and help empower.

17.) How do you plan on accomplishing your goals?
(Goals without a plan are meaningless. Once you figure out your goals, write down action steps that will help you achieve them. Most people don’t do this, and it can mean the difference between getting what you want and failing.)

Yeah well I won’t say that I agree that they’re necessarily “meaningless” but I do agree that a goal paired with an active plan is much more likely to be a success than a mere goal or empty plan alone. The goal is the first step and a great start! ;-D

I’m already doing a good job. And the more I am this way, the more it reinforces it. Sometimes I catch myself not being as kind as I can be and I remind myself that no matter what someone does that I don’t like, I can still be loving and kind to that person. If someone isn’t loving and kind towards me, I don’t have to sink to that level. Instead of focusing on someone else’s lack of kindness, I can just focus on my goal to be the best me I can be. Also, I share uplifting and inspirational things on social media outlets for anyone who may see and need a splash of sunlight.  

18.) What are you grateful for?

(Be thankful every single day. And show your gratitude to others too. Say, “Thank you.” Return acts of kindness. Be grateful for what you have.)

This life of mine which is the thing that allows me to experience all the other great blessings. And I’m thankful for everyone else’s life. Wow! How amazing it is to be alive!   To have a pulse, a heartbeat, a body that functions so well! :-O

19.) How can you make yourself better?
(We all have problems. But you can either give up and accept your circumstances or you can choose to find ways to improve. Are you unhappy with your body? Then learn how to eat better and form consistent exercise habits. Hate your job? Then start taking action to develop a new skill.)

Learn. Practice. Apply.   Keep an open mind. Pay attention. Formulate positive habits. Admit to myself, my weaknesses and when I’m wrong. 

20.) How can you make the world better?

(Last, but certainly not least, is figuring out your ultimate goal. How can you change the world? If you don’t know the answer just yet, combine all the answers above and you’ll have a much better idea. You have the power to do amazing things. Don’t take that for granted.)

This is a fantastic question because it provides the opportunity for deep thought. Contrary to what many people think “Making the world a better place” IS possible for even just one person to do. The world is a very large thing composed of many, many smaller things and aspects.   “Making the world a better place” can refer to any magnitude, whether  at a  local level or global level. You don’t have to be the president of some country or working in some international affairs organization to have a great impact. Working for the environment is amazing but you don’t have to necessarily do that to help either.  Just touching one individual life for the better, whether  animal or person makes one aspect of the world better. And not only is that, alone, an incredible thing but it’s possible for it to have a ripple effect and that one life consciously or unconsciously will go on to positively impact another…..
Right now, I don’t have the resources available to me, that I know of, to make the world a better place at a global, international, or national level. Maybe not even at a local level. But I can touch as many people as I can in small ways which can have a great impact on each life I impact for the better.  

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/20-inspiring-questions-help-you-find-your-dream-and-change-your-life.html?utm_source=Lifehack&utm_campaign=f276feb792-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_983e966a3e-f276feb792-414760829

Twenty Inspiring Questions

Jan31

image

I subscribe to many personal development, self-help, inspirational e-mails provided by bloggers and people with amazing websites intended to help people help themselves have better lives.   My e-mail inboxes are filled with almost nothing but positive messages each and every day. I’m blessed!  

Today I woke up to a wonderful e-mail with this link:
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/20-inspiring-questions-help-you-find-your-dream-and-change-your-life.html?utm_source=Lifehack&utm_campaign=f276feb792-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_983e966a3e-f276feb792-414760829

It’s a list of twenty thought-provoking questions designed to help readers look deeper into their lives and selves and really come to understand themselves better. I am so motivated just reading them! I decided to answer them and share my answers with everyone interested! I encourage everyone interested to answer them even if you don’t want to share your answers publicly. They really got me thinking! 😀

The commentary in the parentheses below each question is provided by SCOTT CHRIST, the person who listed the questions.

1.) What beliefs do you carry that may be holding you back?

(It takes guts to call yourself out and question beliefs that just don’t seem right. We’re all ingrained with a set of learned behaviors that may be holding us back. It’s okay to question them and seek a better way. That’s a true sign of growth.)

One belief that I allow to often hold me back is the belief that “It’s not going to happen now” or “not likely to happen.”  For example, about applying for jobs, I know that there are many, many people who are more qualified than me for jobs. There are people with much more work experience and more advanced degrees who are much more likely to get certain jobs than I am.   I know that there are many jobs I would be so great at if I worked there but when considering applying for them, I often think about the many others who will also be applying who have advantages over me.

 Just because they have more experience and more advanced degrees doesn’t necessarily mean they will be better at the job than me. But an interviewer may assume that.  So while I have every intention of applying some day, I just keeping putting it off saying “later.”. 
I have to write a cover letter and fill out an application for each job. Sometimes this can be challenging and time consuming and I think what’s the point of doing this right at this moment when I can be doing something else and probably won’t get the job anyway. 
I also often think “What if I apply for a job right now and forget to add something valuable that I may remember later so I should just wait…”
These are very limiting beliefs and while there’s some truth to some parts, it’s also unreasonable and very destructive to think this way.  
We all have unique abilities, strengths, qualities, experiences, and our own gifts that add value to the workplace, relationships, and the world.   There’s always going to be someone more qualified than me and someone less qualified than me for certain jobs and that’s not a bad thing. It’s just a fact.  An interviewer or person reviewing my job application may just see something in me that s/he feels is worth giving a chance even if someone else seems more qualified. This goes for everyone. You may be less qualified in experience and academics but just as qualified or more in other ways, like your interpersonal skills or certain thoughts you have. This is even true for college applications.  I have known kids with excellent grades and attendance who were rejected by prestigious universities and others with less impressive grades who were accepted. It’s a combination of things that help get people where they want to be. Instead of focusing on how others are “better” in some ways, I should just focus on being the best me I can be in every way.
And there’s really no reason for me to procrastinate out of fear of forgetting certain valuable info. Because if that can happen now, it can happen later. As long as I’m thinking clearly and have the time, it’s best to fill out that app NOW and just pay careful attention to it. If I blow my chance, oh well! It’s not the end of the world! There will be many more opportunities for me!

2.) What’s your hobby?

(The things you love to do in your downtime can tell you a lot about how to find happiness in your life. Do the stuff you enjoy doing, and you’ll get closer to finding your true calling.)

I have quite a few that I absolutely love! One of those hobbies I have just become more and more interested in and feel myself becoming more creative with is photography! I have loved taking pictures all my life but now I’m very into it.  I use my bb10 phone and have great photo apps and I love finding quotes to go along with my photos.   I plan to get a camera one day when I get money. I also love writing poetic things and writing blog posts.    
I love reading too. I love personal development and philosophy readings and also novels.   Especially ones with profound messages.
I listen to music a lot and love collecting inspirational lyrics and quotes and applying them to real life situations and sharing them.

3.) What’s your talent?

( One thing that’s even more important than recognizing your hobbies is understanding your talents. What are you good at? If you asked five friends, what would they identify as your biggest assets? The answers can help you find your dream and change your life.)

I always felt that I have no talents because I never possessed any beautiful artistic skills or anything. I don’t draw good even when I try. I don’t sing well at all and have no natural “callings” that way. But there is one thing. It’s not an artistic skill but it’s very valuable.   I am extremely empathetic and understanding. I always have been but when I grew up, it developed so much deeper. I truly have an uncanny ability to understand people and situations even when I haven’t, myself, experienced the same things those people have and have never been in those specific situations. I don’t believe or claim to know exactly how someone else feels but I do have a very deep understanding which allows me to connect deeper with others and provide consolation and great support to people. I don’t negatively judge and try to get people to “snap out of it” or wonder how they can feel that way. I just know. I know how people can think and feel ways that I wouldn’t think or feel because of my strong empathy.   And I can draw on my own experiences to be even more understanding. 
Even when people have strongly opposing views to mine, I don’t agree but can still see how they can feel that way, even if I’m irked or angry! Lol
Empathy isn’t just about caring and being compassionate either.   It’s even deeper. It’s a deep understanding of someone else’s situation and experiences. It’s somewhat difficult to explain the depth of my empathy.   And I fear that people may think I’m overstepping my boundaries and claiming to know how they feel. But that’s not it at all.  
I don’t know. But I understand a certain way.
And empathy isn’t just about understanding and feeling people’s pain but also happiness and pleasure. I feel almost as if it’s happening to me.   I literally feel their pain & pleasure but I know it’s not exactly how they feel it since I’m not them.   If you win the multi-million dollar lotto, I will feel like I just did too. If you’re in a manic episode, it will rub off on me. If you’re in an accident even if I don’t know you, I will be shakin’ up almost as if I do know you.   I have thin psychological boundaries and unlike most people who just feel sorry or sad for someone or just curious and then go about their day, I feel as if I’m somehow involved, personally, to some degree, in your situation.  Even later.

  One day at 2:00 in the morning there was an ambulance outside my house for a neighbor and I had no idea what was going on or who it was for. My mom was mostly just curious, looking out the Window  but I felt distress, sorrow, and a desperate hope that it wasn’t something too horrific going on. I could just imagine how it would feel if I was in a situation like that.   I am a calm girl and don’t freak out or panic even when stuff is happening to me but I was expressing my deep concern.  My mom said it’s weird how I act over things that don’t involve me one bit.  It’s a true gift but it can be draining and painful and I had to learn to cope with this gift.

4.) Who do you like to work with?
(Think about the people who you work well with. Use your intuition to guide you toward similar people in your work environment.)

I love to work with fun people who are easy to get a long with and also like to do teamwork. Ones who handle difficulties well without wanting to engage in complicated arguments. I like people who want to build up and uplift others and not have negative competitions. And even if there’s like a competition for a promotion we both want, I would like us to still get along and not hold grudges and just wish each other well.

5.) Where do you enjoy working?

(What is the work setting where you’re most productive? Perhaps in group meetings? Or alone in your office? Try spending most of your time there. If you’re stuck in a job that puts you in a setting you don’t enjoy, speak up and tell your boss.)

I want a job working closely with others. I don’t mind an office job as long as parts of the day involve interacting with people.

6.) What are your passions?

( What makes you genuinely happy in life? Identify your passions, and then do everything in your power to spend timedoing the things you love. Then answer this:)

I love inspiring, helping, nurturing and uplifting people. That’s one reason I decided to have a blog. I also love sharing uplifting messages and I want to have a peer specialist or counseling job. I’m also passionate about Nature and love taking pictures of everything outside.   It’s so beautiful. I’m passionate about certain songs as well.

7.) How can you turn your passions into work?
(It’s one thing to pursue your passion as a hobby. It’s a whole different ballgame to do what you love and get paid for it. If you’re stuck in a job you hate, find a way to turn your passion into your career. If you want something badly enough, and are willing to take action and do the things that others aren’t willing to do, you’ll achieve whatever you want in your career and in your life.)

 Applying for jobs working with people and applying my people skills to my work!

8.) What inspires you? 
(Where do you find inspiration to drive you forward? Maybe it’s books, websites, friends, or family members. The point is, harness your preferred sources of inspiration every day.)

Books, blogs, websites, life itself, people, heartwarming stories, random acts of kindness, songs, quotes, photography, sunrises and sunsets, rain, snow, the sky, other aspects of Nature.   Heartache, pain, tears, and healing. Laughter and daylight. Nightfall. Cracks on the pavements, chipped paint, the darkness of night, breathing, my heartbeat….I find inspiration everywhere.

9.) How do you motivate yourself to take action?
(Being inspired is great. But if you don’t have a method and plan to motivate yourself to make positive change in your life, you’ll remain in the same place you’re in today.)

Inspiration is beautiful and I’m often inspired and it drives me to do many things. But I view inspiration itself as more of a feeling inside while motivation is more action associated. Inspiration can lead to motivation and help maintain it. I have random bursts of motivation that I can’t explain. They come out of nowhere then I start applying for jobs without holding back. But the motivation then wears off and I’m back to the problem I discussed in response to question #1. It’s great to be randomly and inexplicably motivated but since it’s not a conscious decision or habit, it likely won’t hold up. So it’s great to come up with a conscious plan to maintain general motivation. One thing that does motivate me is vividly imagining what I truly want and what it would be like to have that. I still have to make this a habit though because it’s not yet. Also sometimes I read things that get me pumped and motivated. Talk therapy sessions also help me get motivated.  

10.) What do you dream about?
(Dreams expose truths about our lives we often have trouble seeing. Keep a dream journal to record your subconscious thoughts. Whenever you wake up in the middle of a dream, write down exactly what occurred. Then analyze the dream the next day and look for signs and signals from your subconscious mind.)

My dreams are frequently about interacting with people, new friendships, and wisdom/life lessons. I have a lot of strange dreams, some ordinary ones that are just like an extension of my days, and I hardly ever have scary ones. But yeah, one common theme is people and connecting with them.

11.)  What have you overcome?
(Most of us have struggled mightily and overcome great obstacles. Don’t take this for granted. Thinking about the massive obstacles you’ve overcome already should convince you that you can accomplish anything you want in life.)

One thing I have overcome is succumbing to my crippling shyness. I have always been shy to the point of it being like a disability but not anymore. I’m still shy, just not as much and I open up much quicker.   Feeling shy isn’t my choice but I often now can choose to speak up even when I’m feeling very shy. As a child, I couldn’t do that. Even as a young college student it was hard. The more I interact with people, the less shy I become around those people and even in general. After I got a job at a store, I became much less shy.   It will never go completely away and some days I’m more shy than others but being around people, opening up, and interacting pushes me to be less shy. 

12.) How do you respond to what others say about you?

(You can choose to react negatively to what others say about you, or you can choose to ignore it. Even our friends and close family members can say and do things that are extremely hurtful. Words others say don’t define you though. Your actions and thoughts define you. Don’t ever forget that.)

When people compliment me, I accept those compliments very gratefully. When I am criticized constructively, I am also thankful for the helpful feedback and will use it effectively if it will be helpful. About uncalled for negative comments, I have learned to mostly just let them slide.   They’re not worth the time they demand. I used to often seek revenge on people who said bad things about/to me. I would say something back I knew would offend them, sometimes even trying to “get them” worse than they “got me.”. Lol!   I used to try to spread gossip about girls who did that to me.  My general love & compassion would take the back burner and my desire for revenge or to be right would become dominant.  But that accomplishes nothing worthwhile.   It’s ridiculous and I can’t believe I once engaged in that. To know me now, you would never know it. I have come a long way.  Love should always prevail. Now when someone unnecessarily criticizes me or expresses uncalled for negative views about me, I suck it up, wish the person the best, and move on. I won’t deny though that there are seldom occasions when I struggle to hold my tongue. But after practicing conscious lovingkindness for so long, I usually don’t even feel like coming back with retorts and little petty remarks to offend or anger. We can all rise above that.

13.)Why are you here?

(Want to know how to find your dream and change your life in one simple step? Then answer this question: What do you think your purpose is? It’s a deep question. But it’s an important one. You may not know the answer right now, and that’s okay. You’ll find it when you’re ready.)

I’m here because my mom gave birth to me and I never died.
 That’s all there is to it. I don’t believe in a “life purpose” or “ultimate purpose” or anything of that sort. I am here just because. Randomly.   Some people say and I have even said that “we create our own purpose” for living but I don’t even believe it. We create our happiness and things that make our own lives interesting, fun, and feeling like we have “reason” or “purpose” but I don’t believe that anything other than life itself gives me purpose.   If I say my “Life purpose” is to do something I’m passionate about then all of a sudden that thing is no longer something I’m passionate about OR I can no longer do that for some reason, maybe because I become permanently disabled or something, I would STILL have a purpose. Nothing outside of me gives me reason. I am the reason.   I, myself am purpose.

14.) Who do you admire?

(Seek inspiration in others whom you admire. Despite all the bad things going on in the world, there are still millions of heroes, dreamers, and leaders that can inspire all of us to live better.)

The people who always have my heart are ones who go out of their way to love & help others. I believe people in general are basically good and help people sometimes and most people care to a certain degree. But there are those more rare people who go above and beyond to help even strangers. Ones who are beyond compassionate and loving and just embrace everyone. I love people with hearts that are open books and they warmly welcome anyone who wants to come into their world.   They melt my heart.  I love animal lovers too who value their lives and believe they are worthy of love and compassion just like humans.  

15.) What are your weaknesses?
(Nobody’s perfect. And acknowledging thethings you need to get better at is a crucial step to find your dream and change your life.)

I’m horrible at math. Even simple basic math. I sometimes still struggle with feelings of worthlessness. I don’t have those thoughts and feelings as frequently and usually not as deeply as I used to but still have them occasionally. They used to be my life but not now.

16.) What are your goals?
(Think about what you aspire to accomplish in your life. These goals should drive your actions. Speaking of action…)

My number one goal is to be the best me I can be. For myself and everyone. Not to be a perfectionist but to be as loving, compassionate, accepting, tolerant, understanding, kind, and open-minded as possible.   To be the light in someone’s darkness, to inspire, uplift, encourage, and help empower.

17.) How do you plan on accomplishing your goals?
(Goals without a plan are meaningless. Once you figure out your goals, write down action steps that will help you achieve them. Most people don’t do this, and it can mean the difference between getting what you want and failing.)

Yeah well I won’t say that I agree that they’re necessarily “meaningless” but I do agree that a goal paired with an active plan is much more likely to be a success than a mere goal or empty plan alone. The goal is the first step and a great start! ;-D

I’m already doing a good job. And the more I am this way, the more it reinforces it. Sometimes I catch myself not being as kind as I can be and I remind myself that no matter what someone does that I don’t like, I can still be loving and kind to that person. If someone isn’t loving and kind towards me, I don’t have to sink to that level. Instead of focusing on someone else’s lack of kindness, I can just focus on my goal to be the best me I can be. Also, I share uplifting and inspirational things on social media outlets for anyone who may see and need a splash of sunlight.  

18.) What are you grateful for?

(Be thankful every single day. And show your gratitude to others too. Say, “Thank you.” Return acts of kindness. Be grateful for what you have.)

This life of mine which is the thing that allows me to experience all the other great blessings. And I’m thankful for everyone else’s life. Wow! How amazing it is to be alive!   To have a pulse, a heartbeat, a body that functions so well! :-O

19.) How can you make yourself better?
(We all have problems. But you can either give up and accept your circumstances or you can choose to find ways to improve. Are you unhappy with your body? Then learn how to eat better and form consistent exercise habits. Hate your job? Then start taking action to develop a new skill.)

Learn. Practice. Apply.   Keep an open mind. Pay attention. Formulate positive habits. Admit to myself, my weaknesses and when I’m wrong. 

20.) How can you make the world better?

(Last, but certainly not least, is figuring out your ultimate goal. How can you change the world? If you don’t know the answer just yet, combine all the answers above and you’ll have a much better idea. You have the power to do amazing things. Don’t take that for granted.)

This is a fantastic question because it provides the opportunity for deep thought. Contrary to what many people think “Making the world a better place” IS possible for even just one person to do. The world is a very large thing composed of many, many smaller things and aspects.   “Making the world a better place” can refer to any magnitude, whether  at a  local level or global level. You don’t have to be the president of some country or working in some international affairs organization to have a great impact. Working for the environment is amazing but you don’t have to necessarily do that to help either.  Just touching one individual life for the better, whether  animal or person makes one aspect of the world better. And not only is that, alone, an incredible thing but it’s possible for it to have a ripple effect and that one life consciously or unconsciously will go on to positively impact another…..
Right now, I don’t have the resources available to me, that I know of, to make the world a better place at a global, international, or national level. Maybe not even at a local level. But I can touch as many people as I can in small ways which can have a great impact on each life I impact for the better.  

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/20-inspiring-questions-help-you-find-your-dream-and-change-your-life.html?utm_source=Lifehack&utm_campaign=f276feb792-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_983e966a3e-f276feb792-414760829

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Every Woman Has A Name <3

Jan27

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“I may not go down in history
I just want someone to remember me
I’ll probably never hold a brush
that paints a masterpeice
Probably never find a pen
that writes a symphony
But if I will love then I will find
That I have touched another life
And that’s something
Something worth leaving behind” ~ LeeAnn Womacku

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So, my love for Alice Cooper is no secret! Anyone who is my friend on Facebook, knows me in person, or has read my previous posts here, knows that I am deeply inspired by the man and his amazing ability to turn agony and the dark side of life into something beautiful through words and music. The man is my hero.
I loved him since I was a little girl. But back then his music to me was mostly all about fun and entertainment. When I grew into a young woman, his songs helped console me during my own emotional anguish and struggles with mental illness and loneliness. The older I got, the more I discovered the depth of inspiration his songs provoke in me and how great pain can contribute and lead to beautiful experiences and creations.  
Alice’s songs shed light on topics that many people don’t want to even think about.   Dark topics. Abuse.  Agonizing emotional pain and psychosis.  
He also sings of broken love and unrequited love. Many of his songs are inspired by his own life experiences.  
The song I have on my heart right now is, “Every Woman Has A Name” by Alice Cooper.

“You were so beautiful
Like a child so young and full of life
Seems a hundred years ago
You saw everything
So much more tragedy than good
You even watched the world grow cold
And even when your world was shakin’
Even when your breath was taken
Even when your blue eyes turned to gray
Small town debutantes and queens
Every woman has a name
Cocktail waitresses with dreams
Every woman has a name
And every girl whose love survives
A broken heart to stay alive
You signed your picture in the frame
Every woman has a name
You had your love affair
Some were perfect but most of them were pain
Seems a hundred years ago
It took you to the highest hill
Left you standing frozen in the rain
But you still feel the afterglow
And even when your world was shakin’
Even when your breath was taken
Even when your blue eyes turned to gray
Housewives cryin’ on the phone
Every woman has a name”

I love this beautiful song & the message. It’s so true! Every one of us is someone. We all have a story. A story that can deeply touch others with a positive impact. There will always be people who tell us or imply that we aren’t “good enough,” not “pretty enough, thin enough, successful enough….” There will be those who say we should live a certain way, think a certain way, feel a certain way, be a certain way or we are “less than” or “not worthy of…”. Some of these message are explicit and some are more subtle. But all are detrimental and hurtful.

The most important thing is to know your authentic self. Your inner self. What do you genuinely think, feel, believe, desire, need, crave, know? It’s more important to honor that than to give into the psychological abuse of others, society, and the media telling you how you “should” be.

It doesn’t matter if you are:

A Housewife, stay at home mom, single, career woman, waitress, rich girl, struggling financially, have an impressive job, have no job, homeless, have lots of skills and talents, just a few, or none, have lots of friends and family or no friends or family, small, thin, big-boned, overweight, curvy, struggling, broken, sick, disabled, limited, have clear radiant skin or not, feel loved or not, young, middle aged, or old, educated well or not, you are someone right NOW, always have been someone, always will be someone.
You don’t need anything or anyone more than yourself to have value, to be someone, to be beautiful, to love yourself. You don’t have to look a certain way or dress a certain way.   You don’t have to go to college or have lots of money, you don’t have to have any special skills or have the best of everything. The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they make the best of everything.   You don’t have to be anyone’s definition of perfect. You can make mistakes and Learn.

One of the biggest struggles of my life has often been devastating feelings of worthlessness and looking for self value in people & things outside of myself.  
I often believed if I had “a better job,” “lots of friends,” “better grades,” “more money,” “more people who like me,” “more accomplishments,” “a big, perfect house….” I would be better and be worthy of everything good. I looked to external factors to give me purpose, to make me beautiful, to make me someone. 

But that doesn’t work. People & things can contribute to my happiness but they can’t make me worthy or not worthy of good things.   They don’t give me purpose and a lack of them doesn’t equal a lack of purpose. I am someone with or without them.

I have to look within, into the deepest depths of me to know of my purpose, to see that I am, always have been, and always will be someone just by being me. And that goes for you and everyone.  

“Like the pine trees lining the winding road
I got a name, I got a name
Like the singing bird and the croaking toad
I got a name, I got a name
And I carry it with me like my daddy did
But I’m living the dream that he kept hid
Moving me down the highway
Rolling me down the highway
Moving ahead so life won’t pass me by” ~ Jim Croce

Your job doesn’t define you, your financial situation, your weaknesses, your illness, your friends, your disability, your limitations, your education, your grades in school, your quality of work, your weight and physical appearance, the pain you feel, the opinions of other people, your losses and failures, none of this is who you are. You may feel sometimes or often that these things define you but the true you is within.

“I’ve got a song, I’ve got a song
And I carry it with me and I sing it loud
If it gets me nowhere, I go there proud” ~ Jim Croce

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No matter what heartbreak you have experienced, you can heal even if you’ll always have the scars and memories.

What are your values, virtues, loves, strengths, your inner truths? Honor them and don’t dwell on your shortcomings or less pleasant qualities or situations. Learn to love yourself, your true self unconditionally no matter what anyone else says or thinks about you. 

I know who I am. I am not perfect. I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world. But I’m one of them. Mary J. Blige.. (I think this is a great attitude for every girl to have, that you are one of the most beautiful women in the world, not just physically but personality too, know who you are and embrace your “flaws.”)

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“You know the future’s lookin’ brighter
Every morning’ when i get up
Don’t be thinkin’ ’bout what’s not enough, now baby
Just be thinkin’ ’bout what we got” ~ Eddie Money

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“Oh-oh, rich man, poor man, now
Really don’t mean all that much
Mama’s always told you, girl
That money can’t buy you love” ~ Eddie Money
“If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don’t hide” ~Enigma

“Don’t care what people say, just follow your own way.” ~ Enigma

Life is without meaning. 
You bring the meaning to it. 
The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. 
Being alive is the meaning.
– Joseph Campbell

“At one point you may realize you will never be good enough for some people; the question is, is that your problem or theirs?”

Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are. ~Malcolm S. Forbes

By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before. ~Edwin Elliot

Self Esteem begins here: anyone who does not like you is an idiot. Really -aren’t they? You are gorgeous, talented and fabulous. ~Chellie Campbell

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love & affection. ~Buddha

Here is the links to Alice’s song:

Desktop: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGKhy8gh_VI

Mobile: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PGKhy8gh_VI

Also, two of my other favorite songs who inspire me are Jim Croce & LeeAnn Womack. I quoted some of their lyrics above and here are the videos to their songs.

Jim Croce’s “I Got a Name”
a song about having a dream and being proud just for trying even if it’s never realized.

Desktop: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06zOrHRh-gY&app=desktop

Mobile: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=06zOrHRh-gY&app=m

And LeeAnn Womack’s “Something Worth Leaving Behind”
A song about how we don’t have to be famous or extremely talented to be important, just loving people is enough.

Desktop :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqTT59h9aLg

Mobile: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=awawjH_CqOgX0

Xoxo Kim

P.s. I hope you will always remember and honor your own name and know your own value even when you’re struggling.

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My grown Up Christmas list

Dec24

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“Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies

Well I’m all grown-up now
And still need help somehow
I’m not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here’s my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need”

Macy’s collects letters to Santa written by people of all ages. For every letter they receive, it helps a sick child’s wish be granted. Isn’t that beautiful?! My sister and me wrote letters and put them in the Santa MailBox! We also watched the beautiful light show at Macy’s with my mom, dad, and all the others who showed up to watch.

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It was so cute to see all the little kids writing their letters for Santa Claus and putting them in the mailbox. They were so happy and joyful. I wish all kids can have the opportunity to be so happy and carefree.

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My Christmas list this year is for a world in need. I wish for 

1.) hope & healing for all those who are suffering. Humans & animals alike
2.) a warm and happy place to live for all homeless people and animals.
3.) love, acceptance, and tolerance instead of wars and unjust discrimination 
4.) More empathy & understanding for each other in this world
5.) a friend for everyone
6.) hope, strength,  & happiness for everyone
7.) for everyone to have the ability to see the good that exists in the world
8.) Unconditional love

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I am deeply inspired by the Christmas song “My Grown Up Christmas List.”. It is a stunningly beautiful song with an incredible message.  I love Amy Grant’s version.  

“No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list”

Desktop video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmF2rsDHOZc
Mobile video:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RmF2rsDHOZc&app=m

This is my lifelong wish, my grown up Christmas list, not for myself but for a world in need.

Much love & blessings to everyone. 😀

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Xoxo Kim

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