Tag Archive | joy

The Vinegar Tasters

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“Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie,
A fly can’t bird, but a bird can fly.
Ask me a riddle and I reply:
“Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie.”

Within the last month I have experienced quite a few profound losses. I lost a human friend as well as two of my pets to death all in a month. All very shockingly and very unexpectedly. 

It’s seriously like the worst emotional pain imaginable. The deepest kind of sadness. 

 Then I lost my job, unexpectedly, because the owner is selling the business(i knew it was happening but not so soon). I don’t have much work experience other than years at a store and some work in college I did as a peer educator so it’s not easy finding another job. Not because I wouldn’t be good at it but the employers are wary of taking on employees without experience for whatever the job is. I don’t have much experience for exactly what I want to do but I am very confident I will do a great job and I’m also quite confident someone out there somewhere will give me a chance one of these days! 😀

Then I lost my Temple University system account (e-mail and things) because someone hacked it or tried and it showed suspicious activity so the University suspended my account and since I cannot yet pay back the student loan, they can refuse to talk to me when I call Monday and not restore my account. I use my account for everything even though I’m no longer a current student there. 

Then the media card in my phone broke (it keeps working then not working because my phone itself is too full of files and stuff which I need wifi to transfer it all to a computer, which I will do when I get wifi) and I lost all my pictures and all my songs and everything else on the media card. I think it’s all still there, just can’t be accessed yet. This is very trivial next to the deaths of my friend, Diane, and my pets, Dylan &Lizz , but it is very distressing, especially on top of the other losses.

A few days ago while getting a shower and experiencing raw grief over the losses of my friends(human and animal), it doesn’t go away but the severity and rawness fluctuates – acceptance to seemingly unbearable, back and forth, I began thinking more about the seasons of life and how pain and loss are inevitable. Whether it’s a very tragic, devastating, senseless, unexpected loss or a natural but still devastating loss to old age or a loss of a job or place to live or something, these are all stages and phases and seasons of living and we can learn to accept them. Acceptance doesn’t mean not experiencing pain or not trying to make things better. It doesn’t mean not speaking up against something we disagree with, not taking action. It just means acknowledging that painful things are part of being alive, whether they are fair, unfair, unjust, happen to most people or are rare…., and working along with these painful circumstances and seasons of life. Not denying them, not wishing them away, they won’t go away. Just soaking up every horrible emotion and also the beauty that comes along with it. Using it to our advantage, to strengthen us and our empathy for others, to deepen our wisdom. And knowing we can be happy and filled with joy along with the grief and any other pain. 

Grief and missing someone and happiness in life can reach a point where they are not mutually exclusive. We can feel both, grief/sense of loss & happiness/joy. It’s the same with physical pain and happiness and even with having a depressive disorder. We can have struggles with these and other things but ultimately be happy. 

The more I ponder this, the more I see the beauty in it and accept it. 

“More is a man of an angel’s wit and singular learning; I know not his fellow. For where is the man of that gentleness, lowliness, and affability? And as time requireth a man of marvellous mirth and pastimes; and sometimes of as sad gravity: a man for a seasons.” ~ Robert Whittinton

I’m reading a book called “The Tao of Pooh” written by a man who finds deep and ancient wisdom threaded throughout the Winnie the Pooh series, Benjamin Hoff. I had this book for a while but never read it yet and coincidentally, I picked it up to read at 4:00 in the morning, not completely sure what it’s about, and I realize it’s about just what I was thinking about during and after the shower that day, accepting and working along with, and even cherishing, all of life, painful and happy, good and bad, joyful and sorrowful. How comforting! How beautiful and inspiring.

In the book, the author tells a little story of “the vinegar tasters.” A painting of three men, said to be Confucius, the Buddha, and Lao-tse, the author of the oldest existing book of Taoism.
These three masters are standing around a vat of vinegar. Each man has dipped his finger into the vinegar and tasted it. Each man’s reaction to the taste is different and each of their faces displays a different expression. 

Confucius has a sour look on his face. The Buddha has a bitter expression. And Lao-tse is smiling.

This painting is not to be taken literally but allegorically. Each man is a representation of “The Three Teachings” of China and the vinegar they are tasting represents the Essence of Life.

So the painting is an allegory for our reactions to life. Confucius, in the painting, views life as sour. He believes that the present is not properly aligned with the past and that the government of man on Earth is out of harmony with the Way of Heaven, the government of the Universe. He has a thing for long ago and reveres the Ancestors and ancient rituals and ceremonies in which the emperor, or Son of Heaven, acts as an intermediary for limitless Heaven & limitless Earth.   

The use of precisely measured court music, prescribed steps, actions, and phrases all add up to an incredibly complex system of rituals, under Confucianism. Each ritual is used on a certain occasion for a specific purpose. A quote to convey the gist of this concept is “If the mat was not straight, the Master would not sit.” This shows the extent and rigidity, and a kind of perfectionism, of the ideas and rituals of the school of thought of Confucianism.

As for Buddha, the second man in the painting, life on Earth is bitter. It’s filled with attachments, illusions, and desires that lead to suffering. To him, in the painting, the world is seen as inherently full of traps, a generator of illusions – a revolving wheel of pain for all sentient beings. According to this Buddha in the painting, we must overcome “the world of dust” to obtain inner peace and reach Nirvana (complete liberation, zero suffering), which translates literally to “no wind.”  We must eliminate all the unpleasantness in life, all our struggles, to be truly happy. 

The author explains how the optimistic attitude of the Chinese altered Buddhism, making it more positive, after it extended to China(it originated in India). But the devout Buddhist often viewed the “bitter wind of everyday existence” as an interruption to the process of reaching Nirvana.

To the last man in the painting, Lao-tse, the one pleasantly smiling, there is Heaven on Earth. The harmony that naturally exists between Heaven & Earth and has always existed can be found by anyone at all in almost any circumstances, during any occasion, as long as the strict rules of Confucianism, which leave no room for diversity and imperfection, are not followed. 

According to Lao-tse, in his Tao Te Ching, , the “Tao Virtue Book,” Earth is essentially a “reflection of Heaven.” It’s run by the same laws which are not the laws of humans. These heavenly laws are said to affect the spinning of distant planets as well as the activity of the birds in the forest and the fish in the sea. 

 Lao-Tse in the painting story, believes that the more we interfere with the natural balance produced and governed by the universal laws, the more difficult it is to reach harmony. The more we interfere with the natural seasons of life, the more forcing, the more trouble. 

The author, Benjamin Hoff, states 

“Whether heavy or light, wet or dry, fast or slow, everything had its own nature already within it, which could not be violated without causing difficulties. When abstract and arbitrary rules were imposed from the outside, struggle was inevitable. Only then did life become sour.”

(pp. 4) 

Lao-tse sees life, in all its pain and beauty, as an opportunity to learn valuable lessons. Life is our teacher, our chance to awaken to deep wisdom. Unlike the Buddha in the painting who advocate for turning away from “the world of dust,” Lao-tse advises us to “join the dust of the world.” He speaks of Tao, the Way, the “law” or essence governing everything in Heaven & on Earth. 

Tao cannot be explained in words. It must be lived, experienced. It’s acceptance of life as it is. It is basically and simply working with our life circumstances, pleasant or unpleasant, appreciating all of life, life itself, letting our experiences teach us, working with every single thing that happens in everyday life, going with the flow.

As I have mentioned, it’s not about not working to fix problems that can be fixed for the better. It’s not about never experiencing pain. It’s about acceptance of life, both beauty and pain, and not denying our emotions or circumstances. Acknowledging what is and just flowing with it. 

Lao-tse believes this naturally brings us happiness.  

We can experience great happiness even in the midst of imperfection, struggles, pain…but when we work in harmony with these circumstances, “Taoist understanding changes what others perceive as negative into something positive.” (pp. 6) 

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“Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.” ~ John Ruskin

According to Taoism, bitterness and sourness are results of being unappreciative and interfering with the essence of life. Life itself is sweet if we understand it for what it is. This is the message of The Vinegar Tasters.

This painting or story is not really about religion or debates or disagreements;it’s a metaphor for life that can be incorporated into any of our lives irrespective of religion or absence of religion. 

I find this concept to be deeply inspiring and very helpful to remembering during difficult and painful situations such as depression, grief, loss, stress….anything.

You can find different versions of the painting in Google images. I found none worth sharing here. In most of the images I looked at, all three men look miserable. Lol

I’m wishing you lots of love & happiness! ❤

Xoxo Kim ❤

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas in….March?!

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Coca Cola…. It’s the real thing! 

;-p

Lol!

I’m very amused.

My sister and me bought boxes of Coca Cola cans, ordinary boxes but when I opened them I was in for a (pleasant) surprise!!

Santa is on all of the cans! In March! Lol!  

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The Coca Cola company is out to trick us all! It’s catastrophic! ;-D

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Putting old holiday cans in a regular box! Probably knowing people wouldn’t be buying Christmas cans in March. And not on sale! Over five dollars! I would have still bought them anyway because I’m just easy going like that and anything with a Christmas theme is totally alright with me! Even when it’s in March.

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My mom said I should write to the company and complain but I wouldn’t dream of it!

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The Coca Cola in the cans tastes as good as ever too so it’s all good! :-p 😀 Coca Cola is definitely happiness in a bottle…..or can!!

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And to top it off there has been a Winter Wonderland going all day yesterday! Everything is covered in glistening white. 

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Coca Cola themed things are some of my absolute favorite things to take pictures of everywhere I go!

Here are some of my pics:

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Always Coca Cola. ❤

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I hope you’re having a beautiful day or night! 😀 ❤

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Xoxo Kim ❤ 😀

A Note of Thanks <3

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WordPress notified me about a week ago, I think, that my blog here has been getting some unusual attention lately! I was informed that typically the average views each hour that my blog gets is 0 (lol) but then the average views an hour was 28!! Twenty-eight!! Whaaaatt?!

Lol Some Internet celebrity must have shared my blog or something!  

Thank You so much Internet celebrity!  
And Thank You so much to everyone who “likes” & likes, shares, comments, reblogs, lurks, follows….I’m so humbled and grateful!!

You have no idea! The happiness and joy that surges through me to know someone is somehow inspired, uplifted, or helped in some way by my content!

So I’m just writing a little thank you note here to all of you who read/like/comment/share/reblog….

Much love to you! 

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In honor of this amazing news I’m going to share some gratitude quotes!

😀

1.) “Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” ~Author Unknown

This is so true! Sometimes we may feel that we want, need, deserve more than what we have and whether or not that’s true, focusing on this kind of thinking more than focusing on the positivity of what we do already have, is draining and limiting. There’s nothing at all wrong with wanting and striving for more but it’s not good to overlook all of our current blessings just because we want more. I noticed that no matter how much I really want something, taking inventory of all the great things I already have, even the most simplest, mundane things, like the air that I breathe, is an incredible way to feel that right
 now is enough. This moment is enough. 
I can still work for more and want more sometimes but without ignoring all that I currently have. It’s especially uplifting to write down a gratitude list. 

2.) “Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone.” ~G.B. Stern
 
I definitely disagree with this quote. “Silent gratitude” helps the person experiencing it. The very feeling is beautiful, uplifting, exhilarating. So the person experiencing it is helped. But also, I believe feeling gratitude emits positive vibrations out into the universe which touches others. And a grateful person starts to act grateful and just be more positive and happy and loving, which positively affects others.  But I get the gist of this message, that expressing gratitude out loud or in writing or in some other way, is a fantastic thing and helps people know they and whatever they do for us, are appreciated. 

3.) Gratitude is the memory of the heart. ~Jean Baptiste Massieui

4.) The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you. ~John E. Southard

Mmm hmmm…! I used to often be a fan of revenge when I felt people did me wrong. Sometimes if someone said something negative to or about me, I would be sure to say something worse back. When I found people were gossiping about me, I spread worse gossip. Equal revenge wasn’t even good enough for me often. I had to “get ’em worse than they got me.” Sweet revenge was something I felt compelled to pursue, whether in a subtle way without them knowing or in a more explicit way.  I realized that’s not the way I really want to be and I began resisting the urges to seek revenge until eventually they became almost non existent. Now I can’t even imagine being that way. I’m so so thankful I came to my senses and outgrew those trivial little games. 

Now I don’t get even, I get even more fabulous! Lol 

5.) Gratitude is an art of painting an adversity into a lovely picture. ~Kak Sri

We can learn to view pain, negativity, struggles…as amazing opportunities to get better, get stronger, learn life lessons, and help others. We don’t have to go out looking for pain and bringing it on ourselves and hoping for it but it’s inevitable as long as we’re alive so we can use it to our advantage. 

6.) If you have lived, take thankfully the past. ~John Dryden

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7.) As each day comes to us refreshed and anew, so does my gratitude renew itself daily. The breaking of the sun over the horizon is my grateful heart dawning upon a blessed world. ~Terri Guillemets

8.) I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. ~G.K. Chesterton

9.) You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before the concert and the opera, and grace before the play and pantomime, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing and grace before I dip the pen in the ink. ~G.K. Chesterton

Yes, let’s be thankful for everything! Every little thing!  

10.) For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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11.) If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get. ~Frank A. Clark

I have found this to often be true. Some people, it seems the more they get the more they want. And gratitude while being a fleeting feeling most of us probably experience at some points can also be a general attitude. An attitude that can be developed, strengthened, and maintained. 
Just as gratitude can be a habit, so can ingratitude. And if a person is ungrateful then when the person gets whatever that person wanted, that habit of ingratitude is likely to carry over. 
I have a natural inclination to be thankful that I have strengthened, with appreciative living techniques, to be even more, consciously grateful in general. But there are some occasions I am being and acting ungrateful when I want something “more” or “better” and I stop and remind myself that an unwavering, underlying, general, foundation of gratitude is better than the fleeting sense that comes with each specific thing someone wants and gets. 
And if I’m not giving thanks for what I already have, why should I get more?  
Gratitude as an attitude can be developed with practice! Even if you are currently not a very grateful person. 

12.) “Praise the bridge that carried you over.” ~George Colman

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! ❤

I hope you’re having a beautiful night or day wherever you are!

Xoxo Kim ❤ 

Retreat

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“There is no need to run outside
For better seeing,…
…Rather abide  
At the center of your being;
For the more you leave it, the less you learn.
Search your heart and see
…
The way to do is to be.” ~ Lao Tzu

I love this thought provoking quote!
(I think that irony inheres in certain quotes such as this one which is thought-provoking but about not thinking, not doing, not explaining, just being.)
Sometimes all we have to do is seek within, to the stillness and quiet at our center, deep inside, to find answers, to experience serenity and calm, to experience joy, wisdom, and peace. 

It dwells in your core even when you can’t feel it. It can be discovered.

I noticed that the more I meditate, the less I care about certain (often trivial) problems and the better I handle them. Even when I go days/weeks without meditation, the first day I begin again to meditate, I experience more calmness and if I’m depressed the night that I meditate, I often wake up with a sense of happiness and hope. Meditation really has an amazingly positive effect on the brain chemistry and a beautiful psychological effect.

Meditation doesn’t even have to be a deep guided meditation or a long meditation session. It can be just five minutes of sitting in a quiet place, eyes closed, wordless and gentle music as you focus on your breath. Your mind will wander and thoughts will take over. Wandering and thinking is the nature of the human mind. And that’s ok. Just gently bring it back to your breath and the sensations in your body. That’s a very simple meditative practice. You don’t have to know anything about meditation to engage in it. It doesn’t have to be scheduled or planned. It can be during your lunch break in your office, in your bed at night before sleep, when you wake up in the morning, anywhere….not driving though, obviously! lol Or in any other situation that would render it dangerous. 

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If we take a few moments each day to just BE, it can help greatly in situations that are distressing, even if we don’t realize right away.

Often, we are so wrapped up in doing, solving, working, worrying, planning, scheduling, explaining, thinking, wondering….that we forget just being.  

I hope you will take a few minutes to connect with your inner being and forget the world for a while. I’m wishing you much love and peace and happiness! ❤

Xoxo Kim

P.s. Thank You so much to the people who wrote me comments/messages!! I will get back to you very soon!! ❤ ❤

The Miracle of the World <3

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“If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.” ~ 
Frances Hodgson Burnett

This quote couldn’t be more true! Everywhere we look, there is some kind of beauty. It doesn’t matter what the weather is like, what season we’re in the midst of, what mood we’re in, if we’re healthy or sick, grieving or in some other kind of pain, homeless or live in a mansion, financially rich or poor, Alone, lonely, surrounded by others,
whatever struggles we have, there is some form of beauty to soak up, cherish, and celebrate. ❤

Celebrating beauty is what I’m doing here. Here are my pictures and some of my favorite quotes!

😀

“This world, after all our science and science, is still a miracle: wonderful, inscrutable, magical and more, to whosoever will think it.” ~ Thomas Dekker

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(I was waiting for a bus today in the freezing cold but it was well worth it because the scenery is so beautiful and I was surrounded by adorable little sparrows! I noticed the cute little fuzzy heads they have and the caprice of their tender wings, fluttering all around)

“Oh, the wild joys of living! the leaping from rock up to rock, 
The strong rending of boughs from the fir-tree, the cool silver shock 
Of the plunge in a pool’s living water.” ~
Robert Browning

“And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.” ~
Kahlil Gibran

“To see is to forget the name of the thing one sees.” ~ Paul Valéry 

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Life is what we make it so let’s make it beautiful.

Live everyday and find the extraordinary in the ordinary.

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are.  Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart.  Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.  Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.” ~
Mary Jean Iron

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 “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ~ Albert Einstein

“Find the good and praise it.” ~Alex Haley

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“For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.”
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

”The best way to pay for a lovely moment is to enjoy it.” ~Richard Bach

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(my adorable girl, Isis Summerjo)

“I’ll be back in the high life again
All the doors I closed one time will open up again” ~Steve Winwood

“O, with what freshness, 
what solemnity and beauty, 
is each new day born; 
as if to say to insensate man, 
‘Behold!
thou hast one more chance! 
Strive for immortal glory!'” ~
Harriet Beecher Stowe

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“Today a new sun rises for me; everything lives, everything is animated, everything seems to speak to me of my passion, everything invites me to cherish it.” ~Anne De Lenclos 

~Heaven is Earth~

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(night in the city)

“There’s beauty up above and things we never take notice of
You wake up and suddenly you’re in love.” ~ Billy Ocean

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(me!<3 <3)

“And I guess we never learn.
Go through life parched and empty,
Standin’ knee deep in a river and dyin’ of thirst.” ~ “Standing Knee Deep In A River” (Dying of Thirst) 

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“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” 
Confucius

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“I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know that just to be alive is a grand thing.”
~Agatha Christie

“Be glad of life, because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars.”~
Henry Van Dyke

“I love this crazy, tragic,
Sometimes almost magic,
Awful, beautful life” ~Darryl Worley ♥

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“I’m thankful for a pair of shoes that feel really good on my feet; I like my shoes.
I’m thankful for the birds; I feel like they’re singing just for me when I get up in the morning… Saying, ‘Good morning, John. You made it, John.’
I’m thankful for the sea breeze that feels so good right now, and the scent of jasmine when the sun starts going down.
I’m thankful…”
~Johnny Cash

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“Some people have a wonderful capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life, with awe, pleasure, wonder, and even ecstasy.” ~
Abraham Maslow

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The only difference between an extraordinary life and an ordinary one is the extraordinary pleasures you find in ordinary things.

~Veronique Vienne

I hope you find the beauty in each moment no matter how low your mood is or how much pain you are experiencing or how bored or stressed or distracted you are. We can’t always be happy but we can find something in each moment to grasp and hold and see the joy in.

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(I don’t eat steaks [unless they’re vegan ones] but this building is so pretty, all lit up and surrounded with people)

Let’s surrender to each fleeting moment and absorb all the beauty and love Each one
provides.

Much love to you. ❤

Xoxo Kim ❤

Starry, Starry Night

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“Starry, starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frame-less heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can’t forget.” ~ Don McLean ❤

Recently there was this one night the sky seemed to be filled with more stars than usual. I have a camera that reaches the stars(my phone camera almost never can capture them) but my camera is lost and kind of broken(my dad broke it by cracking it against a table or something and it fell apart, sort of). I always hoped for a camera that can beautifully capture the night sky then last year I got one, not the best, probably, but an ok one. It’s in my house somewhere but I have no clue where. And it’s a small house! Lol I don’t yet have a way to get my pics online off the camera because the camera needs wifi or to put the pictures on a computer first. And my computer isn’t set up because it needs wifi to be set up.
So I carelessly tossed it aside.
I should be getting wifi soon, now I regret it.

I was in awe over the beauty of the starlit night! I kept trying to take pics with my phone and it kept only capturing one star, the brightest one.
Then in one picture, it got two stars.
I was thankful. Sometimes it can’t even capture one. But I wanted the whole sky full of stars to show up.
It was amazing! They were literally twinkling!
I kept imagining what that would look like in a picture and how I would love to have and share a picture like that!

I kept thinking “if only I was more careful with my camera!!”
And
“I really hope when I get a good camera or find mine, the sky looks like this again! “

It was a worse feeling than not having a camera at all because it was like a feeling of “being so close…” I have it and could have captured the stars but it’s lost because I was careless.

Like when playing a crane machine and it completely misses the desired object and it’s like “oh well.” but when it picks up the thing you want and then drops it before it makes it to the slot it’s like “omg! So close!! If only it would have held on a second later…!!” lol

I couldn’t shake the feeling. “If only….” and “I hope…” But it was the kind of restraining hope that holds me back, not an exhilarating kind.

And it’s not every night there’s that many stars! And big bright ones! All twinkling!
I really felt so strongly that I was missing out.

I went back out into the backyard to look up at the starry starry night and it took my breath away and I was reminded that that’s really all that matters. Experiencing the beauty, not capturing it.

I wasn’t missing anything.

While it’s amazing to get beautiful pictures of our experiences and the beauty all around us, sometimes the desire, activity, or opportunity to capture it can hold us back.

When we forget our phones, lose our cameras, our battery drains….and we can’t get a pic we can feel that we’re missing out, we can feel a sense of loss, a sense of a missed opportunity.
And sometimes we can get so wrapped up trying to get the “perfect picture” that we neglect to savor the moment itself.

Girls, haven’t you ever had a day where your makeup looked so perfect or your hair, better than usual and it kind of felt like a waste because you weren’t going anywhere or your plans did not work out? And in some way you almost wished you did not look so good? Because there’s like nowhere to go, no one to see it. Lol I know I’m not the only one!

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(this isn’t my picture, I don’t know the original source but it’s funny!)

That’s kind of like this experience. Like, damn, the sky looks so good! And I can’t capture it!

;-p

I heard on the radio a couple years ago that there’s a study that shows that many people feel that it’s more important to capture and get “proof” of the fun occasions and beauty they experience than actually experiencing it. According to the radio program, most teenagers who took the survey said they would prefer not to experience something amazing if they can’t get a pic than experience it and not get pictures! I don’t know how accurate this survey/s is/are since I just heard it briefly some years ago and did not hear all the info. But I know this phenomenon is definitely true for some people.

I have met people who felt this way and I have felt a touch of this myself on some occasions. Not that I would prefer not to experience something great if I can’t get a pic but feeling so disappointed and anxious if I couldn’t get one to the point I sometimes let the disappointment and anxiety ruin the moment.

Looking up at that starry, starry sky I was reminded that living is much more important than capturing or “proving.” Both are great but we can’t always have both. And why let disappointment ruin the actual moment?

I almost never let “picture taking” take away my focus or experience of what is happening. That is a common problem now in society, at least the one I live among. People are obsessed with capturing and showing the fun they’re having and beauty they’re witnessing and instead of living the moment, they pull out their phones/cameras and play with them, posing instead of being natural, looking into a phone or camera instead of each other. I believe I manage a healthy balance of capturing the moment but also living it. But my problem is when I can’t capture it in at least one pic, I have felt so very disappointed.

And it’s the same with the makeup, who cares if you’re not going anywhere or seeing anyone? Just bask in your own beauty, put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty.

(and meet me tonight in Atlantic City ;-D lol)

It’s worth it! We don’t need a special occasion or to show anything. Wear that clingy dress, the diamond earrings, use the expensive utensils and sparkling crystal wine glasses, buy yourself flowers….each moment we’re alive is a special occasion.

I’m thankful the sky showed me. Lol

Also, I choose to look at the bright side! At least I got the biggest, brightest star! Lol And it looked like it was a falling star after a while! It was like curving or something. Fantastic!

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So pretty!

This is definitely not an airplane (my sister insists that it is but I kept my eyes on it since it was a small speck hanging over the rooftops) or the moon. It somewhat resembles one but it’s a star, I’m sure of it.
I know what an airplane and what a star looks like(although one night I did mistake a traffic light for the moon so I guess you can’t be too sure of my judgment….but this I’m sure of!)

The moon was on the other side. And it stayed in one place all night, not moving, just sparkling, until it decided to curve like this. I kept running out to check on it all night. And took like one hundred pics. All shitty ones but I still like them.

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(this picture has two stars! I had to lighten the picture a lot to make them more visible. Very hard to see but they’re there!)

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I couldn’t imagine why I saved this picture and was about to delete it then I realized why! If you look closely you can see the shadow Of me standing on the tips off my toes desperately holding my phone up to the sky as high as I possibly can hoping to just get a few stars to show up! And also hoping the neighbors in the back wouldn’t think I’m some kind of creeper taking pictures through their windows. I promise it’s only the stars I was spying on. ;-D

It is a funny picture, kind of pathetic. Being this desperate but oh well….lol

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Don McLean – Starry, Starry Night

Mobile:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oxHnRfhDmrk

Desktop:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=oxHnRfhDmrk

I hope you’re having a great day and a beautiful starry starry night!! ❤

😀

Xoxo Kim

I love….in 400 words <3

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In my inbox, I was delighted to receive a kind of “blog challenge” post where we write what we love in 400 words. It’s basically just a list but in paragraph form. I love, love, LOVE reading about people, whether I know them or not. I love random, useless, interesting facts about people like their favorite color, book, TV show, movie, things that make them unique and make up the someones that they are. It’s great when people share these little gems. 

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Here is what I love in 400 words:

I love…. tropical scents, Hawaiian Ginger, citrus, coconut, cucumber melon, body mist, scented candles, oldies music and sappy love songs, Center City Philadelphia buildings, hugs, tight red dresses, five inch stilettos, especially open toe, strappy ones, my long hair and the way it feels when it brushes my lower back and blows in the wind, photography, being creative with the pictures, nights in bed with doggies, reading fascinating books, philosophy, bright yellow mums, the way the moon stalks me at night and waking up to the incandescent golden sun, writing, receiving sweet blog comments/notifications, early mornings, hot tea, meditation, mindfulness, meeting people, seeing people, talking to people, both strangers and people I know, busses and trolleys, especially ours, snow and rain, listening to rain and hail pelt upon rooftops, the sounds of the city, especially at night, jury service, crunchy Autumn leaves, Summer bumblebees, the gray barrenness of Winter and the colorful life blossoming in Spring, big, warm, fluffy pj’s, the holiday season, feeling as One with all that is, helping people, inspiring people, being inspired, belly laughs that hurt so good, being amused in inappropriate situations and trying hard not to burst out laughing hysterically, shopping for clothes, the changing of the seasons, random acts of kindness, sweet friends(online and off)/family(including pets), feeling someone else’s happiness as if it were my own, simplicity, animals, people, deep connections with others, the floral fragrance of Spring, Love of all kinds, trees, rivers, bridges, especially the Ben F. Bridge, the bright blue sky dappled in fluffy white clouds, twilight, cobblestone streets, Kindle app, light conversations, deep conversations, personal development, thunder,  lightening, cola, old slow songs, the smell of doggy paws and fur, babies, my heartbeat and the way it feels against my hand, wrinkles, laughlines, gray hair, beauty marks, moles, wisdom, quiet, stillness, tuning into the present moment, old pleasant memories, country music, American Southern accent, English accent, packages in the mail, old books, free books, friendly smiles, denim pants, orchids, pitbulls, kids laughing, life itself, scary haunted attractions, Halloween, fiction mystery thrillers, inspiring novels, art journals, trampolines, cafes, myself, inspiring lists, blogs, cool nights, fireflies, flowers, Christmas, bokeh photos, sleet, paw prints in the snow, Philadelphia, pomeranians, romantic comedies, movies about friendship, being in a room full of people, long walks in warm weather, daylight, nightfall, empathy, quiet afternoons, poetry, dark poetry, obscure poetry, old literature, puppy kisses, gratitude, inspiring quotes

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What do you love?! This is a very uplifting activity. Whenever I make a list of all the amazing things I love, I feel so light, uplifted, and happy! I think it has an unconscious effect. I hope you will do this activity too and even if you don’t want to share it, you can just write it in a journal or on a computer or phone.

You can even put your own spin on it, make a list instead of a paragraph…

If you post what you love, share it in the comments! Or you can just post a few things instead of 400 words. 😀

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Here is the link I received in my inbox. This girl, Tanya Geisler, did this activity. I receive many inspiring e-mails by many places and this is just one.

http://www.tanyageisler.com/thinstugs-i-love-in-400-words/

Thank You for reading!!<3

Much love to you! ❤




Random Inspiration #11 {quotes & pictures}

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Here are some of my pictures with some of my favorite quotes.

“Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.” 
John Ruskin

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“If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.” ~
Frances Hodgson Burnett

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“Live your life as though your every act were to become a universal law.” ~ Immanuel Kant

I don’t know that Kant really said this just like this but that certainly is his philosophy. For example lying. What if everyone lied about everything? Our society would not function well. What if everyone killed themselves? It would be catastrophic. In other words, if it wouldn’t be ok for everyone to perform the action, don’t engage in it yourself ever. Very thought provoking but I’m not sure how practical it would be to always live that way. Love is a good one though. Live as if love were a universal law. 

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“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?” ~Henry David Thoreau 

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“Always have the highest bar for yourself. Wake up everyday and, no matter how crappy you feel, want to change something for the better. Do something that makes someone happy. Create something that inspires someone. Be someone’s light when they are hopeless.” – Dave Grohl

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~Hug the hurt
Kiss the broken
Befriend the lost
Love the lonely~

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“I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.” ~ Sarah Williams

There is always something beautiful, something positive even in the pain and ugliness and darkness. Sometimes we have to try harder to see it but it’s there. I’m grieving the recent tragic loss of my beautiful friend Diane. She was 58 years old and died suddenly and unexpectedly and I’m trying to focus more on the beauty, joy, and happiness of the decade I knew her than on the devastation of her death. </3 ❤ This quote brings me a sense of comfort. I hope it helps you too if you're hurting in some way. Remember through any kind of pain, physical or emotional, there are stars, bright, twinkling stars just for you.

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“I will leave such an imprint on your heart that anyone you encounter after me will have to know me to be able to understand you.”

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“Thus Gotama [Buddha] walked toward the town to gather alms, and the two samanas recognized him solely by the perfection of his repose, by the calmness of his figure, in which there was no trace of seeking, desiring, imitating, or striving, only light and peace.” ~ Hermann Hesse, Siddhartha 

Boy has his shit together! Lol

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“Do not fall in love with people like me. 
I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth.
I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people.” ~ 
Caitlyn Siehl

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“Our greatest strength lies in the gentleness and tenderness of our heart.” ~ Rumi ❤

I’m wishing you much love & happiness. Today and always. And remember keep, keep going no matter how sick you are, how depressed, or how much of any kind of pain you’re in. Keep going and brighten someone else’s day! The simplest things can help someone significantly. ❤

Xoxo Kim

Random Inspiration #10 {old memories and what to do with ugly/plain/useless photos you take}

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Sometimes I take pictures that turn out not that good, blurry or ugly or boring or plain looking, too dark, too bright, seemingly having no point…I usually have the urge to delete them.

But not so long ago, I got a better idea. 

I can “recycle” them in a way, I guess you can say. Get creative and fix them up and make them pretty or more interesting. 

I can do things with the pictures that will make them look good that would ruin other pictures.

Example:

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Look at this terrible picture! Ack! I want to delete it right now! I meant for it to be a lovely view of the Philadelphia skyline at night but it sucks instead. No hope for it…

Unless!

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Now it’s pretty, right?!

I think so! But even if you still think it’s just kind of useless or sucks, you still get the picture, right?

You can take a sucky photo and prettify (or creepify) it. Imagine if I took a beautiful picture and then put that heart on it like that? It would ruin it!

But this picture already sucks so the heart can’t ruin it! And you can still see part of the skyline and I think the heart makes it look even better.And the colors pop more The heart is the main thing now but then we catch a glimpse of the buildings and lights in the background! Perfect!

Or you can make a sucky picture look creepy, like with my pic of the door above. That was just a simple pic of a door I took that had no use (the pic had no use, not the door) so I put a weird creep effect on it!

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I like this one. Sometimes I’m in the mood for making my pictures cheery and pretty and colorful while other occasions I want them seeming dark, nostalgic, hazy, blurry, creepy, sad-like, vintage, shadowy…
This one is on the dark side.

Heres’s the original :

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And here’s another pic I made fantastic when it was just kind of blah originally:

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Original:

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I actually like this one too but can see how it’s kind of plain. It’s interesting though. It’s a University of Pennsylvania building. The campus is beautiful. This is the medical examiner’s office, where they do autopsies and examine corpses and stuff.

And here are some more pics of mine that weren’t that good and I fixed them up:

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Lol the heater at work. I made it look like I was having some dance party with strobe lights. I only took the pic to test my phone because it wasn’t working correctly. I took the picture last year and just found it in my phone recently.

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Library on Temple University campus. I used to go to school here. I took this pic a few nights ago as I was going by.
I love when I see the campus again. I don’t see it frequently and whenever I do so many emotions come flooding back to me.
Both happy and sad ones, feelings of longing and feelings of joy. Nostalgia and happiness and gratitude.
i embrace them all.
It’s so familiar yet so distant now. I know it so well, so intimately, yet I feel as if I would probably get lost walking on there again.
That is so strange to feel.
i am never quite prepared for the feelings I experience when seeing the campus again and reminiscing.
I loved walking all around the campus day or night. When I had breaks in the middle classes

sometimes I would walk around the same buildings over and over and over, loving every single second of it. I would explore the entire campus by myself. And I would get there early just to have breakfast and iced coffee and just to walk around campus in the early morning before class.
It’s there and then that I learned to love my own company. I was always afraid to do things, go places alone, not because of social anxiety but because of my depression and certain painful memories I have. I dreaded long breaks in the middle of classes and it hurt me to see girls alone drinking coffee or eating or reading, it stirred feelings of horror and despair in me because of certain of my own experiences but I took the chance, the risk, and embraced my physical aloneness and came to welcome it and love iit.

Sometimes I still get those old feelings and fear of aloneness but then I remember my strength I found on campus in college.

I loved those early mornings having coffee with just me, reading, walking, exploring.i found it healing and I love the memories now. I cherish them always. This was before my depression was as healed as it is now and that aloneness and embracing it helped heal me so much and instill more joy into me. I’m naturally extroverted, always wanting people around me and it was hard at first to learn to do things like this alone but I accomplished it! 😀

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These are steps that lead to nowhere. They are in a neighborhood I used to live, one I lived in since I took my first breath until I turned eleven years old. It’s a small place where everyone knew each other. It’s often called the “ghetto” because it’s a very poor neighborhood and full of trash and falling down houses. And loud people, prostitutes, criminals, and people with drug problems. It wasn’t always as bad as it is now. It started to get worse and that’s why my mom and dad decided to move when I was eleven years old. People were getting murdered on the street corners where I played with my friends. One day I saw one of the murder victims after the homicide occurred.
A young woman who I still think of today. I never saw her before she died
That I know of. I don’t know who she is/was.
she had thick curly long hair and I remember it so vividly. I wonder who she would be if she were allowed to live.
I saw the whole thing, all the gore and all, I saw the emergency paramedics take her body away after covering her with the white sheet. I saw the gruesome aftermath, the things that no one cleaned and remained day after day until the rain washed it away.
She was killed on a man’s pavement and I wondered why he did not clean up his pavement after it occurred.
She was stabbed to death.
I knew it’s horrific but I was too young to completely understand.
i was sad to leave the neighborhood because I loved it there (not the violence and gore and all though)
i knew everyone, I had many friends there.
i never minded the loud people or the prostitutes on the corner.
One of them was even my friend when I saw her around.
she was sweet and friendly and I wondered why people talked about her In an unkind way.

i just saw her for her, not the unfortunate circumstances of her life.
I was very angry at my mom and dad for taking me away and moving me to a bigger place where I knew not as many people. I met a few friends I frequently saw but I still wanted my old ones and wanted to go back “home.”

i used to know a lady who lived on the street where those steps are. Her house is gone now but the broken steps remain.
she was very old, very sweet, very youthful and full of life. Very loving and warm.
She worked or volunteered at the elementary school I went to.
i remember when it was almost Christmas and I was in 4th grade and a little girl in class asked her if she thinks Santa Claus is real and she said “yes because who else brings all the toys?!” 😀

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These are some of my darker pictures. The ones that don’t resonate with everyone. My mom and sister don’t care for them. Some pictures are universally pleasing like, most people would probably like them or agree that they are pleasant, pretty, uplifting…such as flowers, a bowl of fruit, cute animals, sunsets and sunrises, babies…and I love all those too. but there are certain kinds
of 
artistic things that only certain others will understand or appreciate like this stuff. I never used to like black & white or sepia pictures but now I love them. Only for certain things though, usually not for people or
Nature, definitely not for the sky usually. I think those things are meant to let their colors fly. But for buildings and things I like b&w and sepia as well as color.

This concept can be applied to many things. Some things are probably better off being tossed. But some things can be given new life, used in a different way. Old clothes, old mail, things which no longer serve their original purpose well can be creatively made into something else. Even ourselves! 

You can use useless mail for an arts and crafts project, clothes too.

This can probably be good for the environment too! Recycling is important!

And we can even rebuild ourselves into something new, grow, evolve, expand…

I wish you much love, happiness, health, joy, and creativity!

😀

Xoxo Kim

P.s. This post is not in good condition, like the format because I posted it directly onto the app on my phone instead of how I usually do. The app is not compatible with my phone for posting directly onto it, I can’t correct mistakes easily and other stuff. I did this like this because I got confused with the locations of the pictures in my phone and that part was easier to just use the app directly for. Most of my posts won’t be this much
Of
a wreck though. Lol ;-D toodleloo lolz

Happy New Year <3

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“And now let us welcome the New Year 
Full of things that have never been.” ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

In Sarah Ban Breathnach’s “Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy,” she writes:

“January, the month of new beginnings and cherished memories, beckons. Come, let winter weave her wondrous spell: cold, crisp, woolen-muffler days, long dark evenings of savory suppers, lively conversations, or solitary joys. Outside the temperature drops as the snow falls softly. All of nature is at peace. We should be, too. Draw hearthside. This is the month to dream, to look forward to the year ahead and the journey within.” 

Isn’t this a beautiful description?! We don’t need a new year to have new beginnings, new hope, and new goals. We can begin anywhere, any place, any time. But January is symbolic of new hope and beginnings. A new, clean, blank slate to be and do whatever you want!

She also writes, “…time is the New Year’s bountiful blessing: three hundred sixty-five bright mornings and starlit evenings; fifty-two promising weeks; twelve transformative months full of beautiful possibilities; and four splendid seasons. a simply abundant year to be savored.” 

I shared this last year here, and maybe the year before too! It’s beautiful and full of so much hope! Like I said, you don’t need the beginning of a new year to be hopeful and create a new life or a new you, all that’s changing is the date, it’s what has to change within and our actions that count, but it’s a beautiful symbol! 

And the magic of a new year is lovely! 

I wish you a happy New Year full of love (of all kinds including self love), success with your goals, happiness, joy, beauty & light! Remember we don’t need lots of money, material possessions, romantic love, a big happy family…to be happy and full of love. Those are great things to have but not necessary to be happy in general. All we need is the right attitude and we can be homeless, financially poor, living in a shack and still be happy. True happiness and joy is within. External things can add to it but we don’t need them.
❤
 

Xoxo Kim 😀