Tag Archive | motivation

Get Your Ass in Gear

I have been writing here about how I have been struggling with depression for almost three weeks, not a full blown severe episode like I have now and then but worse than a low mood. And not fun at all. My mood fluctuates – feelings of despair then hopeful and happy.

For me, depression is long term/lifelong. It’s not just an episode or phase or because of a specific environmental reason like for some people. I’m not depressed and suicidal almost every single day of my life anymore but my depression can surface at any moment either out of the blue or being triggered by something so it’s something I have to consciously and almost constantly manage with professional help & self-help techniques.

It’s no longer a constant struggle every single day, for me like it used to be, but some days, weeks, and months, it is. And for a few weeks now it has been acting up badly. But mostly, I’m managing it quite well, I think. I have been having difficulty sleeping which usually is not a problem for me. I usually sleep very well.

Last night was very bad and I was overcome in seemingly uncontrollable, negative thoughts. I have been having thoughts that aren’t good. I wanted to let myself slip away but I wouldn’t allow myself. I thought of all the people who I can inspire and help in various ways, people I currently know and ones I have yet to meet and touch in some way. With just a kind word, a simple touch, a helping hand.

There is always someone out there somewhere, in need. I decided to stay strong so I can go on and help people in any way I can. It doesn’t always feel like it but there’s always, always, always something to hold on for. I keep reminding myself that.

In the afternoon, a few days ago, I laid in bed with my dogs looking out my window at the sweet rain and the trees and leaves blowing in the wind. I felt happy, hopeful, joyous, wonderful. It was so serene and lovely.

I have been thinking about this quote:

“Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses.” ~ Alphonse Karr

I want to complain about how I have “lost” almost three weeks to depression but this quote reminds me how instead of complaining about the moments I’m depressed I can cherish the moments I am happy and be thankful for the fact that I still do have happy moments. It’s not all bad. And even the depressed moments are good even though they don’t always feel that way. At least I’m alive.

Anyway, I was thinking about one of the most important things my therapist told me years ago. He told me no matter how depressed I am, to not act like a depressed person. Moping around, avoiding people and things, staying in bed, neglecting self care….

Depression can frequently make us not want to get up. We want to crawl into bed in solitude and stay that way forever. But that can worsen depression, perpetuate, or prolong it.

Getting up, going out, being active may not always lift or cure depression but it can help in some ways.

This doesn’t even just apply to depression. It can even go for any low mood or a common cold. Even a minor cold can make us want to stay in bed and do nothing at all.

But I noticed that sometimes when I have a cold, a low mood, and even full blown depression getting up helps. It helps to be somewhat active. To put my makeup on, go for a walk, do things…it gives me more energy and more opportunities to take my mind off the pain & sickness.

With a cold, it’s good to get rest for our bodies to heal but too much rest isn’t always good.

I also noticed that distraction helps somewhat. I have been reading my Philosophy books and the fact of reading and thinking gets my “mind” currently off of my despair. It’s hard to concentrate in a depression but it’s ok, I give myself permission to just read as best I can and mess up when I will.

So if you’re feeling low, sluggish, blah, sick….try getting up anyway. You don’t have to do any kind of strenuous work, you can do light activities, even just dressing up or going about your usual day.

I hope you’re having a good one. 😀

Xoxo Kim

Hungry Eyes part II

Oct12

Here is a continuation of my Nature Walk Post. We visited a beautiful playground which is dedicated to a little boy Named Jake and has a sign welcoming everyone, both children and adults, to play and have fun.

I love it there! To see the pure, raw joy on the kids’ faces as they play is just amazing. So cute!! 😀

Everyone is allowed to dedicate a brick on the walkway and write what they want to whoever they want. So many people wrote inspirational messages which I just had to take pics of. My inner photographer ran wild!

This sentence reads: “At Wegmans we believe that good people working towards a common goal can accomplish anything they set out to do.”

Yes, I completely agree! We should all work together for a better world for everyone.

Enjoy the sunshine.

Have fun. Be happy. Laugh a lot.

Sure thing! 😉 :-p

Larry ❤ Karen

I don’t know Larry & Karen but their love inspires me. My mom asked me why I would want a pic of this beautiful tribute to the love of people I don’t even know. I don’t know them but I know they are each someone. Like I am someone. Someones who care enough to have their love written in stone. This much I know. And it’s enough for me. Hats Off To you Larry & Karen!! ❤

Always have somethin’ sweet to say! 😀

Love to play.

Play safe. Take turns. Be kind.

Couldn’t have Said it better myself!
🙂

Yes, always create happy memories. In years to come, we can look back and smile, laugh, and cry at the sweet memories.
😀

Have a great day.

I wish you a great one everyday!

Always smile.

Always. 😀 🙂

Your smile can make you happy, brighten someone else’s day, and someone may just be falling in love with it.

On the swings at Jake’s playground.

“There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million” ~ Walt Streightiff

We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.

Let your inner child out to run wild.

I love the playground. Babies and kids were running wild with joy & laughter and it was the sweetest thing. Everyone was so friendly. A mamma and daddy were pushing their little boy and girl on the swings. They were so sweet.

And we saw a beautiful young family all dressed up with two beautiful little, identical twin girls who were wearing the exact same red shirt and black skirt and looked just like their mamma. The mom and dad got a pic taken together and looked so in love. My heart just melted.

I’m a sap! Lol

tree huggin’ girlie right here! Lol
;-D

Xoxo Kim

P.s. I hope you’re having a beautiful night or day!

Life Lately & Creative Project

Oct11

So every so often I see those “Life Lately” posts on blogs and I love reading them so much. I love people and knowing what’s going on with them even when I don’t know them personally. I decided to incorporate one of those into this post! Yay! Lol ;-D

Lately…

Listening to: my taste in music never changes. Ever. Same as it ever was. Oldies, country, sappy love songs, inspirational/uplifting . Also I just downloaded many more meditation mp3’s. And some are just creepy and had to be deleted. So yeah. No way. And I recently created a Playlist on my phone of nothing but uplifting songs to inspire and help me. One song constantly on my heart is LeeAnn Womack’s “I Hope You Dance.” I can’t get enough of that song or quite explain how deeply it speaks to me. It’s one of my greatest resources that helps me with my suicidal/low/depressive moods. And there’s another song I have been listening to by Rodney Atkins “If You’re Going Through Hell.” It’s about holding on no matter how much it hurts and keep on going. He sings about being in darkness and just when we feel as if we can’t get any lower, we sink to a new level of despair and desperation and it seems like everyone is out to get us, things are bad and go to worse seeming as if they can’t get worse. Then they do.

But we just keep going, going, and going and there are people who care and want to help. And eventually things start looking up.

And some Alice Cooper lyrics

“We talk about this whole stupid world and still come out laughing ha ha
We never make any sense but hell that never mattered
But we’ll make it through our blackest hour we’re living proof” ~ Alice Cooper (“Department of Youth lyrics)

Watching: again. Something that never changes. I do not watch TV. But I love when my dad watches “King of Queens” at night! I love that show and even have the theme song on my phone.

Reading : Sarah Ban Breathnach ‘s “Something More” and just loving it. She has this great “arts & crafts” idea I’m doing and I have some creative ideas swirling around in my head.

I have a blank page notebook and on the cover it reads, “think positive you are master of your own destiny.”. On the blank pages I’m writing positive quotes and song lyrics and gluing pretty pictures, quotes, and words out of magazines. It will be my creative book of positivity! 😀

Two nights ago I found a meditation mp3 to increase serotonin in the brain and yesterday I meditated to it. It’s supposed to be sending an unconscious positive message to the brain. I do not know what on god’s green earth it was saying to me but when I came out of the meditation I was sickly and achy. ???!!??

Whaaattt??!! Huh?! Yeah, serious headache and just a weird all around feeling. Never again. Delete. Lol. I don’t know what’s going with this thing but I feel injured by it.

There’s a lawsuit right there! Lol jk! Not really! I’m not money hungry and I know the person who created it has good intentions.

Also, my phone’s auto correct. It’s just getting to me. It’s like a setting got changed and it’s over correcting. It’s spelling things wrong and changing the versions of words to the same word but a different version. And my memory card is full and I can’t take new pictures!! Blahhh!! Now I have to save up for a new memory card! And taking pictures is my life! Well, a big part of it! But it’s all good! My phone really is an excellent phone. I am blessed.

Loving: this Fall weather! I love Fall. And it’s finally beginning to feel like Fall and not Summer. I love Philadelphia.
Also, I’m loving writing here, helping myself and others. It’s so great to have something positive to focus on.
And the positivity creativity book I have been working on. I have been feeling creative tendencies attempting to break through. I don’t know why. But I’m so inspired to write. Poetically. Draw. Arts & crafts. Dream even things I know will never materialize. I have this closed minded thing about me where I tend to not dream of things I think can never occur. That’s a big creative block and just dumb so I’m working on that! Nothing is impossible really (except for things that literally are.) . I have no special creative talents and I occasionally get creative energy bursts and do all “creative” stuff I’m terrible at then I quit. But it’s good and fun to draw, write, paint, play… whether or not we’re good at it. So I’m going to make it part of my everyday routine to get my creative juices flowing.

I even have a creative meditation mp3 designed to help us tap into our creative side and enhance creativity.

It’s at meditationoasis.com

http://www.meditationoasis.com/

Here: http://www.meditationoasis.com/podcast/listen-to-podcast/
#29
They have some for free and some to buy. This one is currently available at no cost.

I would like to encourage anyone interested to get a notebook like I have and make it a fun positive creative notebook. Write things like quotes, song lyrics, and words which inspire you. Draw & glue pictures. All you need is markers, crayons, or colored pencils, magazines, scissors, glue, pens, a notebook, any arts and crafts stuff and your brain! It’s fun to do and you can look at it later to inspire yourself!

This beautiful quote is out of LeeAnn Womack’s wonderful song “I Hope You Dance.”. This song and this line have always helped me so much and always will. When I feel like giving up as if I’m about to succumb to depression/suicidal thoughts & urges, this often helps pull me back or keep me grounded.

“When you come close to sellin’ out, reconsider.” ~ LeeAnn Womack

Thanks!

Xoxo Kim

Sunshine Award….Thank You Dr. Rex <3

Oct11

The amazing Dr. Rex nominated me for the Sunshine Award! She is beautiful, amazing, and very expressive. She has a sweet way of impacting people for the better and showing people deep gratitude and appreciation. We share similar views on things too.

Please go visit her beautiful blog here:

http://hrexach.wordpress.com/

And here is the award nominations page:
http://hrexach.wordpress.com/2013/10/10/sunshine-award-2/

I am so beyond blessed and grateful that someone reads my writings and finds me worthy of this award!

I read and love many blogs and they are all amazing and bring light into the world. My life is much better because of many of the amazing people and their love, courage, and need or desire to share their beauty with the world using their blogs. I don’t know them in person but they greatly impact me.

Here are the rules:

The rules of this award are the following:

1) Use the logo above in the post.
2) Link to whoever nominated you.
3) Write ten pieces of information about yourself.
4) Nominate ten fellow bloggers “who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere.”
5) Leave a comment on the nominees’ blogs to tell them of the award.

Here are my ten facts:

1.) I love reading. My favorite subjects are Personal Development, Philosophy, and Psychology. I love reading books, ebooks, plays, blogs, websites…and I read more fiction now than I used to and love it! I also love poetry of various kinds.

“I adore the feeling of being completely taken in by a book. When the tears of joy or sadness wet your cheeks. When you snort with laughter in a crowd and when you shout at the pages in anger.” ~ Unknown

2.) Photography is something I’m very interested in but know almost nothing about. I take pictures with my BlackBerry phone constantly and it takes amazing pictures! I would love to be a Nature/wedding /engagement/couples/baby/family photographer. I love natural things like sunlight flowers, moon, birds, insects…and I love everything about weddings and families and babies. To me they symbolize love, new beginnings, and togetherness. I plan on learning more about it and am entertaining the idea of taking photography classes for fun one day when I get money!

“To photograph truthfully and effectively is to see beneath the surfaces and record the qualities of nature and humanity which live or are latent in all things.”
Ansel Adams

“Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever… it remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.”
– Aaron Siskind

No, the camera can’t steal the soul. But it can occasionally hold it hostage.
– author unknown

3.) I strongly value friendship and unity.

“Friendships are different from all other relationships. Unlike acquaintanceship, friendship is based on love. Unlike lovers and married couples, it is free of jealousy. Unlike children and parents, it knows neither criticism nor resentment. Friendship has no status in law. Business partnerships are based on a contract. So is marriage. Parents are bound by the law. But friendships are freely entered into, freely given, freely exercised.” ~ Stephen Ambrose

“But oh! the blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearlessly on any subject; with whom one’s deepest as well as one’s most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort – the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person – having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away.” ~ Dinah Maria Mulock Craik

4.) I have struggled with depression off and on since I was 13 years old.

“I will keep a smile on my face and in my heart even when it hurts like today.” ~ Og Mandino.

“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy. -~ Anne Frank

5.) I love people and animals and love and accept unconditionally. If I love/like you I won’t reject you for political/religious/philosophical views or for decisions you make or have made that I disagree with. I see the good and the beauty in people. I see the person, not mistakes or disagreements.

“I ain’t lookin’ for you to feel like me
See like me or be like me
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you.” ~ Bob Dylan

6.) Two of my favorite things are quotes & songs. They can be so deeply inspirational.

“Life itself is a quotation.” – Jorge Luis Borges

7.) I am a very simple girl with a very simple life for the most part. I am not complicated or hard to understand. I don’t participate much in or cause complicated arguments with people. I do not make things more complex than they have to be. I usually say exactly what I mean and do not expect people to be my mind readers. This is not to say my external environment is always calm and peaceful. I experience stress, chaos, disorder, drama…sometimes but have learned to mostly handle it well and remain still & calm within. Simple isn’t dull. I have a deep, rich inner life. I ponder philosophical ideas, concepts, questions…I love meditation…

Confucius says it best “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”

8.) I am extremely loving. I am overflowing with love & gratitude for people, animals, things, life, the world, love & gratitude itself.

“When I start loving I just can’t stop.” ~ Sam & Dave (“Soul Man” lyrics)

“There is so much love in your heart that you could heal the planet.”
~Louise Hay

9.) Oldies music, country music, sappy love songs, uplifting music…is the best!

“Just take those old records off the shelf
I’ll sit and listen to ’em by m’self
Today’s music ain’t got the same soul
I like that old time rock and roll
Don’t try to take me to a Disco
You’ll never even get me out on the floor
In 10 minutes I’ll be late for the door
I like that old time rock and roll ” ~ Bob Seger

10.) While I love seeing some traits in people that I, myself, also possess, I have a deep respect and adoration for people who possess characteristics that I do not. For example: I am not very assertive and do not always speak up for myself when I should and I LOVE assertiveness in others. Even when someone speaks up to me about something the person disagrees with me for and even when I feel that person is wrong/incorrect. I sometimes neglect/abuse myself in ways like denying I have a problem and not taking medication and putting everyone who takes advantage of me first and love when people are devoted to self-care and nourish themselves. I love to see people stand up for and advocate for themselves. Not being overly selfish but a healthy dosage of selfishness. It’s not good to be purely selfless!

I believe Buddha is correct in saying “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Other than Dr. Rex’s blog, Here are the eleven (sorry, I broke the rules! ) blogs that to me are perfection. The authors make the world better and touch lives with beauty, wisdom, and light. Thank You!! 😀

http://etsuchan.wordpress.com/

Beautiful girl, beautiful blog! I love her writing so much! So uplifting and real. And fascinating.

http://gyatoday.wordpress.com/
Very inspiring! So heartwarming and touching!

http://wordslikesilk.com/
Beautiful writing!

http://terry1954.wordpress.com/
She is beautiful and displays much strength and wisdom.

http://awindowofwisdom.wordpress.com/

So wise & inspiring.

http://studentswithbirds.wordpress.com/
Love this blog and we share a love for feather friends!

http://rosebushchronicles.com/

Very inspiring and lovely.

http://timelessferry.wordpress.com/

Beautiful writing and photos.

http://journeyofshe.wordpress.com/

Very inspiring and amazing.

http://5kidswdisabilities.com/
Very strong, inspiring, and positive.

http://thebettermanprojects.com/

We share the similar goal of being the best we can be and working constantly at personal development.

Thank You again Dr. Rex and to the above bloggers and all the others who touch this world with wild wonder & sunlight & moonlight.

Xoxo Kim

The Paradoxical Commandments

Oct7

I have been thinking about this beautiful concept. I wholeheartedly agree with it. It’s true that we will do so much good, give so much love, put so much goodness out into the world, accomplish greatness, create, and provide and while there will be people to acknowledge it and appreciate it and express /feel gratitude for us and our greatness, there will still be so many who will ignore it, destroy it, reject us, be non caring, loathe us, and just want to drag us down. But I believe with everything I have in me that we should do good anyway, love anyway, provide for people anyway, create, share, care, anyway…

Someone on Facebook recently wrote me a message saying the people who love the most, care The Most, and give the most are the ones who are kicked and hurt the deepest. But I will take that chance again and again. As long as I live. Someone doesn’t have to love me back for me to love that person. Someone doesn’t have to care for me to care.

Give to the world without expecting anything in return. Love unconditionally.

The Paradoxical Commandments
by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

http://www.paradoxicalcommandments.com/

Xoxo Kim

But I Keep Holding On

Oct5

We walk around with stories or theories in our heads constantly, everyday. We have stories and theories about why things have happened and what will result if certain things happen. Sometimes our theories and stories are so strong and we are so convinced that they are accurate that it takes over our lives and we see no other way. They can be negative and they can be positive.

And we have a choice.

In Dr. Gottlieb ‘s book, “Learning from the Heart”, which I have previously written a couple posts about, one of his life lessons he writes about is how theories are just that, theories. They may or may not be true. You may have a negative theory in your head such as “If I don’t get a promotion at my job, I’ll never have more than I have now, I’ll be stuck getting paid next to nothing, I’ll never move on…” or “I went out with him and he hasn’t called me in two days that means he doesn’t like me and I ‘ll never see him again!”

First of all, your theory may not even be correct at all. Just because you don’t get a promotion now doesn’t mean you never will or that you’ll be stuck forever. You may accidentally stumble upon a new opportunity or you can work extra hard and find a new job. And you really have no clue why the boy/girl doesn’t call you back. Maybe he’s sick or extra busy or stressed. Maybe he totally lost your number. Maybe he doesn’t want to look desperate. Or….maybe you are correct! Maybe he’s just not that into you.

We should choose theories or stories that benefit us until we find out the truth. Let’s not go walking around with the worst theory ever. Let’s keep an open mind to limitless possibilities. And the second lesson is that it will seriously benefit us to ponder the worst theory, our worst fear. What if he doesn’t like you? What if you’re being rejected? What if he found someone he likes better? What if you don’t get promoted? What if you don’t get the job? What if it doesn’t all go as planned?

Let’s imagine the worst so we can imagine how we will cope when the worst does in fact happen. As long as we live, bad things will happen to us and we must learn to cope, heal, move forward & live with it.

So it will benefit us to keep an open mind, not assume the worst but KNOW that if the worst is true we will live and keep going.

One of Dr. Gottlieb’s examples is when his editor at the “Philadelphia Inquirer” severely criticized one of his columns. Dr. Gottlieb was devastated and experienced strong unpleasant emotions like terrible anxiety and self -reproach. He imagined getting fired or quitting this job he loved so much. For a few days he lived as if he were no longer a columnist. Then his fear decreased quickly.

Dr. Gottlieb also experienced fear before his surgeries which he had to have after his tragic accident. He feared death and imagined what life would be like for his girls if he were to die. He chose to just be with his fear instead of repressing it or running or denying it. Eventually the fear dissipated. Bad things will happen to us every now & then but we will get by. Just sit with your fears and emotions. Let them run through you, acknowledge them.

Think of a current or previous situation you have been faced with where you had a theory, a negative one. Where you jumped to the conclusion that the worst was/is true and that you would not be able to handle it.

What if you changed your theory that you felt so strongly is/was true? What if your conviction is off? As Dr. Gottlieb states: “To let go of something we’ve always believed in requires a leap in faith – trust in something that is unknowable. And I think the task for all of us is to have faith in our own resilience. When that happens, we are exposed to many more possibilities.”

Take that leap of faith. It may be uncomfortable to let go of something you have felt so strongly for so long but move outside that comfort zone to better things.

There are so many less dramatic theories we can be having in our heads.
Maybe the friend who ignored you on the street wasn’t paying attention, maybe you were rejected for a job for lack of experience, not lack of qualification or intelligence, maybe the person who doesn’t like you back is just not compatible with you and there’s nothing wrong with you, maybe if you lose your job something better will come along…..

So why not have faith in a more positive theory or be open to the fact that any theory may be accurate but still know that you CAN survive the worst and you WILL survive!

Keep on going!

Also here’s an update for anyone who knows I have been struggling so, so hard with depression and anyone who cares. My depression is so much worse than it has been in a while but nowhere near as bad as it used to get sometimes. Today I had a few brief suicide “visions”/fantasies but not plans or contemplation. I’m working hard to avoid that.

If you want to take your mind off certain thoughts, it’s best to not directly try to avoid those thoughts or feelings or they will likely become stronger. Instead try to distract yourself and escape the bondage by doing something pleasant to take your “mind” off it. I have been thinking/reading about Philosophical theories on various things. I love Phil. And I attended college for it and took it just for fun. I felt it helping me today

It’s all good.

I hope you are having a great day and find some consolation & strength & hope. I am so happy I learned personal development/self help techniques to help me along with medication. Years ago when I would be depressed I wouldn’t usually know what to do. I try not to dwell on the negativity of this and instead tackle it and see it as a challenge and find creative ways to handle it. Some moments I feel I can go either way, be sucked into a severe Depressive episode or go the other way and hold on til this ends. I’m holding on for now!

And I hope you will too if you’re having some challenges and struggles no matter what they may be. See if you can be creative and find various ways to cope with it instead of giving in to despair.

😀

“I know this pain
Why do lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Don’t ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?
Some day somebody’s gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don’t you know?
Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day?
Things’ll go your way
Hold on for one more day” ~ Wilson Phillips (“Hold On” lyrics)

Baby, hold on for one more day. Everyday!
Xoxo Kim

Every Storm Runs Out of Rain <3

Oct3

(old picture of me I recently found taken on December 31, 1991, I was 5 years old

“I will keep a smile on my face and in my heart even when it hurts today.” ~Og Mandino

Two days ago in one of my posts I mentioned that I’m struggling with symptoms of depression. I can feel an impending episode of severe depression about to hit. It’s starting out like all the others. Sometimes I can prevent it if I really try hard before it pulls me in to the point of no return for weeks or months.

I can feel suicidal feelings and thoughts about to manifest. I don’t want this to get out of hand so I made a conscious decision yesterday afternoon to do all I can to try to keep it right where it is until it goes or to help lift it. I am so tempted to give in and cave but I keep going. I feel as if I’m about to crumble but I’m staying strong. It’s not easy. It’s extremely difficult.

I can see things all around me that I find immense joy in when I’m not depressed. Crunchy & colorful Fall leaves, the beautiful sky and city lights, animals, people, the sounds all around, pumpkin Spice coffee & hot tea….

I see things I want to want, things I want to be interested in.

But I feel disconnected like I’m not taking full pleasure in it all. I am having memory & concentration problems. Forgetting the simplest things. When an episode is coming on, my senses often become less sharp, things seem bland like There’s no flavor or rhythm in anything, I get furious off and on (I generally don’t have anger issues), I take every little thing too personally when any other day I wouldn’t even care about it, I have an extreme low feeling beyond a normal low mood, everything looks bleak and gray….stuff like this.

One thing that helps me immensely is quotes & positive writings. I love, love, love quotes that inspire me and bring me a sense of consolation. I love to read them, meditate upon them, and share them with others. Sharing is caring.

So I decided to compose a list here of comforting quotes of hope & strength to help me and anyone else who may need little reminders to stay strong & keep going. I also have my positive Playlist of songs I have been listening to.

Maybe I can’t pull myself out of this. And it does feel like it will never end but I can do things to help myself and keep reminding me that it WILL end no matter how permanent it feels.

I want to give in but I know that’s not good. It’s my responsibility to care for myself and do what I can to see it through. If I had a physical illness flaring up, I would do what I have to to manage, ease, and eliminate the symptoms and that’s exactly what I must do with this.

But with this it’s hard because depression saps energy, motivation, and kills the will to live while physical illness often strengthens the will to survive and motivates people to do whatever it takes to keep living and get strong and healthy.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe I have depression as an illness and I just believe I’m just worthless and empty and that’s why I’m so depressed. But I often know now that I have a condition and I remind myself that. Last night it was really taking a whole lot of energy not to become suicidal. It’s so hard.

As hard as it is though, I know I have the choice. The choice to keep going…

I’m very happy & inspired because I have been receiving sweet messages by people on Facebook and here expressing gratitude to me for sharing all the uplifting pics, quotes, words,& messages I share everyday. That’s so sweet and I’m thrilled to know I am able to touch lives for the better. Social Media, when used positively, is so amazing for reaching people, even ones we don’t even know, all around the world. Just one simple picture shared or one quote or word of encouragement can brighten someone’s day immensely.

This is another reason for me to hold on, so I can help others, share my stories/experiences, reach out to people in various ways, and inspire as deeply as I can in any way I can. I am very shy at first and don’t always reach out to people first but I am extremely open, even with strangers, when the opportunity comes up. I don’t mind telling my entire life story, good & bad, to someone I met two seconds ago. And I love to hear/read people’s experiences/stories good & bad. I have always been this way. My mom gets frustrated with me sometimes and yells sarcastically, “That’s it, just tell the world all my business!”. Lol and that’s just what I will do.

To me, there’s no such thing as “Too much info.” and people “airing out dirty laundry” is a good thing! ;-). As long as it’s meant to connect with, share with, express, bring awareness to, help & inspire and not merely meant to be a drama queen! Lol.

I accept people and their mistakes and “flaws”. I may not agree with a view a person holds or with something someone has done but I will love the person just the same without negative judgment. I am in no position to judge like that. I am no better or worse than anyone, my life is no better or worse, my morals are no better or worse. I live & let live and I know that things people do that to me seem wrong or not good, usually say nothing of the character or goodness of that person. The best, greatest people can slip, fall, make mistakes. And all I want to do is provide empathy, unconditional love, compassion, acceptance, understanding, hugs, kindness, friendship, support, & encouragement. Not destructive criticism, insults, negative judgments, guilt trips, grudges, or whatever. I was never someone who is outright cold, callous, critical, cruel, and judgmental or a troll. I have always been loving & understanding but now I am even more that way than ever. I have judged people previously when I shouldn’t have, I said/wrote things merely to annoy or anger when someone would make me angry. I have been arrogant. I have been rude. Sometimes I was somewhat vicious but not now. Sometimes I would disagree with someone’s political views and while the disagreement itself wouldn’t irk me, the specific argument would and I would respond unkindly.

Now I only want to put more love out into the world. Believe what you will. Do what you feel is right for you. Stand up for what you believe in. Advocate. Maybe I will disagree with you, maybe I will oppose your views and what you advocate for but I will never oppose YOU, the person and I will show respect for your decisions and how you feel whether or not I agree. Maybe it’s me who is wrong and not you, anyway. Maybe your “mistakes ” aren’t even mistakes, just things I disagree with. I will see you as the whole that you are, the medley, the “miracle”, the beauty. I don’t see mistakes you have made, flaws you may have, things you do or have done or believe that I disagree with. I see you.

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” ~ Ben Franklin

Here are some quotes helping me tonight. And I hope they touch you in some way as well.

1.) Choose love. Choose to release all resentments.
Forgive everyone. Choose to release all regrets.
Forgive yourself for all decisions that you have ever made that didn’t work out as you hoped.
Forgive yourself for any financial decisions
that didn’t meet your expectations.
Release your regrets if you choose
the “wrong” spouse or the “wrong” career.
Today, choose love.
Choose to love yourself.
Choose to love your life.
Choose to love all the friends, family, co-workers,
acquaintances, and others who share your life.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

2.) Choose what lies in the shadows to be a matter
for discovery and adventure, rather than fear.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(This is a great concept. We can look at the unknown as an adventure and learning experience instead of fearing & dreading it and we can see difficulties as challenges to help us grow & strengthen us as opposed to seeing them as horrible afflictions and seeing ourselves as helpless victims)

3.) Choose to be as a young child –
fully awake, eager for the next experience.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

4.) Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary “rules” about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(yup, follow your own way)

5.) Choose Inner Peace.
Nothing is worth losing your inner peace.
Take action as circumstances require,
but never surrender your inner peace.
Stop. Breathe deeply.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply again.
Then, and only then, take action –
from a peaceful heart.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

6.) Affirmation:
Today I choose the higher road –
the path of charity, acceptance,
love, selflessness, kindness.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

7.) Live life with no regrets and no resentments.
Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others. Choose love.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

8.) It is nearly a certainty that some
of your expectations will not be met today -choose Joy anyway.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(beautiful! :-D)

9.) Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful – it’s our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(yes, let’s choose to look for beauty everywhere we can)

10.) Choose to Dance Lightly With Life.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(yeah, don’t be so serious, lighten up. ;-))

11.) “The doors of wisdom are never shut.” ~ Ben Franklin

(so true, no matter what happened or is happening, there is a glimmer of hope still sparkling and an opportunity to learn & grow)

12.) “Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship.” ~ Ben Franklin

(this reminds me that one little negative thought or action can really take a great toll on me but one little positive thought or action can help me immensely.)

13.) “To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions.” ~ Ben Franklin

(yes, good things come to those who wait but not to those who wait too late!)

14.) “Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” ~ Ben Franklin

(love with all you have, take chances when you really, really feel the need….and if it doesn’t work out, don’t regret it because at that moment you felt everything you did/said and also how will you ever know what may happen if you don’t try. if you must regret then do and regret what you did, don’t sit it out and regret not taking action, not loving! <3)

15.) “Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning , only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.” ~ Ben Franklin

(this is beautiful!)

16.) “We must indeed all hang together or, most assuredly we shall all hang separately.” ~ Ben Franklin

(let’s stay together <3)

Today I am making the decision to give more when I feel like giving up and to hold on when my heart has had enough.

And I hope you, too, will make that decision when you feel broken. <3. Keep making that decision over and over everyday that it hurts.

When I come close to selling out, I will heed LeeAnn Womack’s heartfelt message and reconsider. I will think of that little girl in the picture above. That little girl is me and I came into this world to live and to love and to exist and to be. To inspire & encourage.

Yesterday I wasn’t so sure but today I feel that I’m doing somewhat of a good job kicking this thing in the ass.

“I came to Win
To Fight
To Conquer
To Thrive,
I came to Win
To Survive
To Prosper
To Rise
To fly”.

And that I will.

“I saw you standing in the middle of the thunder and lightning
I know you’re feeling like you just can’t win, but you’re trying
It’s hard to keep on keepin’ on, when you’re being pushed around
Don’t even know which way is up, you just keep spinning down, ’round, down…

Every storm runs, runs out of rain
Just like every dark night turns into day
Every heartache will fade away
Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain

So hold your head up and tell yourself that there’s something more
And walk out that door,
Go find a new rose, don’t be afraid of the thorns
‘Cause we all have thorns
Just put your feet up to the edge, put your face in the wind
And when you fall back down, keep on rememberin’

Every storm runs, runs out of rain
Just like every dark night turns into day
Every heartache will fade away
Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain

It’s gonna run out of pain
It’s gonna run out of sting
It’s gonna leave you alone
It’s gonna set you free
Set you free” ~ Gary Allan

“I’ll look back on this and smile because it’s life and I chose to live it.”

(not my photo but I love it!!)

Xoxo Kim

P.s. Keep on keeping on, when the going gets tough, the tough get going.

(not my picture, I found it on the net)

Another day, another victory <3

Sep15

So, I really love Alice Cooper. A real real lot!! I have loved him & his music since I was a little girl. He sings creepy, bizarre, sad, dark, despairing music. Often about depression, psychosis, sometimes about being suicidal, in a mental hospital, personality disorders, mental illness, serial killing, death, being in prison in a wedding dress & wonder bra (lmao) , waking up not knowing who he is or where he is, being criminally insane, alcoholism, and he sings about love. If you read my description here it may make him seem like an “emo” singer like in the typical emo music way. Be he’s not. His songs are more “strange” than “Depressive emo”. Some of them are even funny, often in a twisted way.
His songs aren’t the typical “whiney”, “feel sorry for me/myself” emo music.

His is the first concert I have ever attended. I was 26 years old. It was amazing!!!!
My general favorite kind of music is Oldies & happy love songs – romantic & friendship songs, inspirational, uplifting songs about gratitude, love, self love, strength & hope, perseverance. Very different than many of Alice Cooper’s songs. But I love every single one of his songs. I love his incredible ability to take the dark side of life and turn it into something beautiful. I even wrote a poem about it before, how he takes darkness & pain and transforms it to musical, lyrical beauty. So inspiring. A true gift.
Life is a mixture of good & bad and he acknowledges & addresses the dark side.

Alice Cooper himself has struggled with & tackled the dark side. He was treated for alcoholism. Many of his songs are inspired by true events of his own life & people he has met, some in an institution he was treated in.

This post is about one of his songs which I find to be extremely uplifting, incredibly motivational & inspirational. It’s funny too & just amazing. It’s called “You’re A Movie”.

“I fearlessly walk into battle
With a shine on my boots and my teeth
Never flinch, never blink, never rattle
My blood is like ice underneath

Oh, I’m the reincarnation of patten
And I’ve got Hannibal’s heart in my chest
God told me I would have rivaled
Alexander the great at his best”

He sings about his unstoppable attitude, his courage, his strength.

“Bullets repel off my medals
And my men are in awe when I speak
All chaos my strategies settles
My mere presence gives strength to the weak”

Very, very confident attitude. So confident and full of courage and strong that strength flows through his very presence into those who are not as strong & confident. Can you say ABSOLUTELY AMAZING?!?!

When he says “Bullets repel off my medals” he’s revealing that he has medals for doing great things and when he is the target of bullets, his great medals protect him against being hurt. This can be taken as a metaphor for life. Your attitude, your positive traits, your self assurance & confidence are your medals and when people toss vicious words or toxic criticism at you or when life hands you unpleasant circumstances, let them all bounce off your greatness, your medals. Those things are the bullets Alice speaks of.

“For me it seems really alarming
I’m really just only a man
With five million sheep in this army
I seem to be the only one fit to command”

He’s just an ordinary man but an ordinary man can do extraordinary things with the right attitude, views, & actions.

“I must go now and save the world

Move aside mere drop of water, let the ocean pass”
Lol he has a BIG attitude.

“Another day, another victory.

Another gold stripe, another star

Really quite boring sometimes
I wish they’d send someone equal to my strategies

What a guy
I’m really quite a guy”

He makes being amazing & heroic seem so easy. “Another Day, Another Victory. “

Every single day is an accomplishment to him. “Just another day being my fantastic self!” lol!

What if you possessed this attitude every day? Imagine that! Waking up so confident that you feel you can take on or accomplish or work towards anything you please. This song seems to be about war but it can be applied to life in general.

I feel so energized when I listen to this or read the lyrics.

The next moment you feel low or lacking confidence or courage when you really need it, remember this song. Think of the funny, silly, but very valuable & important lyrics.

He’s full of himself! But in a good way! Lol. An inspiring way! ;-D

So take his message to heart. Go conquer & save the world! 😀

Much love, hope, strength, courage, & self confidence to you!

Xoxo Kim

How to cope with betrayal

Jul12

Recently, I experienced betrayal.

Instead of sinking into despair I chose to handle this situation positively and come up with ways to help me cope with this adversity.

I chose NOT to seek revenge on this person in anyway. But I am and will remain cautious of this person.

Here are a few things I found helpful and hope they will help others who may need some healing and consolation.

1.) Let yourself grieve, feel shattered, express your emotions in a healthy, effective manner. Admit your pain. Don’t deny you are hurt. You may find an outlet in music, writing, drawing, meditating, sleeping, talking to a therapist, family member, or good friend, snuggling with a pet. Even if you tell no other person, admit your pain to yourself. Repression is not good.

2.) Remember this betrayal says nothing about your character or morals or worth. Another person betrayed you, it’s not your fault. People hurt other people, even undeserving ones and those closest to them. The ones they should be loyal to. You probably feel very low. You may have thoughts that if you were somehow “better” in some way, this wouldn’t have happened. But you cannot control others. You can only work on and learn to control yourself. Someone else’s actions in no way define you.

3.) don’t dwell on the fact. It’s not good to obsess over this incident to the point it wears you out. Think about it in healthy ways and come up with ways to cope and move forward.

4.) know that it’s justified to feel angry or whatever you feel. Express your anger healthily. It’s probably best not to yell at, insult, or threaten the person. Handle this safely in your own way.

5.). Figure out if it’s worth it to you to keep this person in your life and do what you have to without guilt. Forgiving and forgetting and continuing this relationship is not a sign of weakness. This person may be important to you and maybe just made an individual mistake. It’s ok to accept an apology and move on. But it’s also ok if you feel the need to let go. Take care of yourself. If this person is taking too much of a toll on you may be you may want to consider cutting the person out if your life completely, partially, or temporarily distancing yourself emotionally or physically. Whatever you feel is best for you.

6.). Just because this person has supporters who may be against you doesn’t mean she/he is right or that you are wrong. There is always going to be someone against you for whatever reason whether it’s justified or not. Don’t let the negativity or destructive criticism of others drag or keep you down. take care of yourself.

7.) focus on yourself. Make a plan for yourself. Focus on your goals and your own personal development. Find strength in this chaotic situation. Better yourself.

8.) don’t stop trusting! There are still good people out there. Friends and potential friends who will never betray or intentionally or carelessly hurt you. Don’t let this person’s/people negative behavior taint or destroy your general trust.

9.) Let the pain make you better not bitter!

🙂

😀

May you find hope, comfort, joy, laughter, happiness, and healing. You can be strong. This heartbreak CAN heal!

Xo Kim

“Don’t forget your second wind
Sooner or later you’ll get your second wind

It’s not always easy to be living in this world of pain
You’re gonna be crashing into stone walls again and again
It’s alright, it’s alright, though you feel your heart break
You’re only human, you’re gonna have to deal with heartache
(You’re only human, ooo-ooo)” Billy Joel

This is a pic my sister took of me yesterday. I can’t remember why I was doing what I’m doing in this picture but it makes me laugh a lot! My sister said it looks like I’m saying “Come at me, come at me!” as if to tempt someone to tread on me so I can pounce on that person! Lol. And I think that’s a perfect attitude to have about negative situations(not people though!!) ! Throw it all on me and i’ll come back even stronger! So yeah! Lol

😀

Love & blessings to you!

Norman Vincent Peale & Positive Quotes

Apr16

One of my favorite writers and great thinkers is Norman Vincent Peale. (May 31, 1898 – December 24, 1993). He was an American minister and author ( very well known for “The Power of Positive Thinking”) as well as a motivational speaker and a big advocate and progenitor of the theory of “positive thinking”/positive thinking as a way of life. He is one of the most inspirational people I have ever read about/learned about. By what I read of him and his writings, I can see he had this incredible, positive, unstoppable attitude.

His theory is that we can overcome anything no matter how devastating or life-draining it is. “You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.”

My theory of positive thinking and optimism is that it is a great way to live but should be practiced in a healthy, realistic dosage and not be overly-dramatic or delusional.

It’s ok and necessary to vent or complain every now and then and it’s definitely ok to feel low, angry, sad, depressed….sometimes. We don’t always have to force/pretend positive thinking every second of every day.

We just should not let the negative things and despair overwhelm us too much to the point it is destroying our lives or making us live in depression or unhappiness.

We should definitely try to see positive outcomes and focus on the beauty around us but it’s ok to sulk every now & then and admit that you have problems or pain or misfortune.

Of course there is more to living than just all rainbows, butterflies, lollipops, and happiness twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week! Lol

🙂

And when I say “delusional” I’m talking about not believing or claiming something that is nowhere near true no matter how positive it is.

An example I saw in a book before of delusional positive thinking is if a person has absolutely zero friends and hasn’t had friendly social contact in weeks, it’s better for that person not to tell her/himself that s/he is extremely popular and has hundreds of friends. Lol

Also, we don’t want to ignore the bad in the world and not try to help it when we can or act like it is non-existent. That won’t make it ok or make it go away.

We just should not let it run our lives.

Positive thinking alone is not always effective. It often must be paired with positive action.

Norman Vincent Peale has many great quotes said by Dr. Peale himself and there is also a collection of quotes and writings by others that inspired him. I am blessed enough to have come across them one day.

Many of them are so uplifting and inspiring and I will add some here to help inspire others.

Quotes by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale:

“Change your thoughts and you change your world.”

Norman Vincent Peale

I believe this is so true. It’s not always an easy or quick process to change our way of thinking but it can be done! One way is whenever you have a thought that something will turn out negative, force yourself to automatically think of other options than just the one you instantly thought.

Keep an open mind.

And remember that even if something negative does occur, you can find ways to cope and see it through. And if you have negative thoughts about yourself, counter them instantly with positive thoughts until you get into the habit of doing this.

“Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. The way you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are.”

Norman Vincent Peale

This quote, to me, is insanely inspiring! Lol! :-D. This is to say that it’s not what happens to us that breaks or strengthens us but how we react to it. This is so empowering. We cannot always control our circumstances but with practice we CAN control our thoughts and emotions and learn to handle them better and more effectively.

“Watch your manner of speech if you wish to develop a peaceful state of mind. Start each day by affirming peaceful, contented and happy attitudes and your days will tend to be pleasant and successful.”

Norman Vincent Peale

Absolutely. Speaking/thinking negatively becomes a wretched habit that is so ingrained. Even thinking negative things in jest or what seems lightly like “I’m so stupid!” “What an idiot I am!” Can weigh on you with a negative impact without you even realizing. So pay close attention to your thoughts & spoken words and then correct yourself, gently, but firmly, with more positive words.

One example I have is when I get stuck working sometimes eleven hour shifts days in a row, which is rare but does happen, I realized when I would go in work in the morning thinking “what a long dreadful day this will be” I would have more of a heavy, negative way about me for the rest of the day. But when I would go in in the morning thinking “This is ok, I will make the best of it.”. I felt lighter and happier and more joyful.

Watch those words of yours! 😉

“Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that.”

Norman Vincent Peale

Yet, another quote by the great Dr. Peale that rings so true to me! Being financially poor or unstable is not the worst that can happen but being emotionally bankrupt kind of is! As long as your head/heart is full of love and you have a good head on your shoulders, that’s all that matters! You don’t need lots of money or material things, although, it’s ok if you do have that. Just remember your worth is NOT in any way dependent upon that. ❤

“It’s always too early to quit.”

Norman Vincent Peale

Yes it is! Keep going! It’s worth it!

“It is of practical value to learn to like yourself. Since you must spend so much time with yourself you might as well get some satisfaction out of the relationship.”

Norman Vincent Peale

“Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have.”

Norman Vincent Peale

Don’t let what seem like barriers blocking your success or happiness hold you back or scare you! You are stronger and more powerful than those inanimate things. You are a person capable of reasoning and working through things creatively.

“The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.”

Norman Vincent Peale

This is an interesting thought. Constructive criticism is good when it is truly meant to help a person for the best and when it is gentle and driven by true, good intentions. It is better than empty, fake flattery said to someone just to spare the feelings of the person or to have the person like someone better for praising. Criticism should never be destructive and intended to hurt, destroy, or drag someone down. That is uncalled for and malicious.

There are so many different people with various abilities, thoughts, ideas, and levels of creativity and it’s great to have their input.

He has many more great quotes. He was a very wise, intelligent, and inspirational man who had a tremendously positive impact on so many lives throughout his days here on Earth.

Now I will list a few of his favorite quotes by other people.

“We are not creatures of circumstance, we are creators of circumstance.” Benjamin Disraeli

“Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody.”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“It takes a wise man to recognize a wise man.”

-Xenophanes

I like this quote. It’s true if you are able to see wisdom and beauty in someone, you must be wise and beautiful yourself to be able to detect that and understand it! ❤

“When the going gets tough, let the tough get going.” –

Frank Leahy

This reminds me of a song sung by Billy Ocean, which I have on my phone and I love it! It inspires me everyday. ❤

“When the Going Gets Tough” by Billy Ocean

“I got something to tell you

I got something to say

I’m gonna put this dream in motion

Never let nothing stand in my way

When the going gets tough

The tough get going

I’m gonna get myself ‘cross the river

That’s the price I’m willing to pay”

I love Billy Ocean’s voice, it’s so beautiful and he sings beautiful sappy love songs which I love! ❤

I loved him since I was a young girl. ❤

I hope you are able to find inspiration & hope in the quotes I shared with you above!!! ❤ 😀

Xox0 Kim ❤