Tag Archive | self-care

Life Lessons to my five year old self & every girl <3

(me – about three years old)

This One’s For The Girls
Who’ve ever had a broken heart
Who’ve wished upon a shooting star
Your beautiful the way you are
This One’s For The Girls
Who love without holding back
Who dream with everything they have
All around the world
This One’s For The Girls” ~ Martina McBride

“What advice would you give the ‘5 year old you’?“

“I’ve got a song
And I carry it with me and I sing it loud
If it gets me nowhere, I’ll go there proud” ~ Jim Croce

I saw this question and think it’s fascinating and here are twenty-one little gems my adult self would love to tell my little self all those years ago. I would love to equip my little self and any little baby girl & every woman at any age with these life lessons. (And some of these are good for men too)

1.) always keep your sense of self – flawlessness. Little girls often have no sense of imperfection when they look at themselves. They’re proud & want to show off everything they are and know. They like to jump in pictures, be the center of attention. They KNOW they’re beautiful & not afraid to flaunt it. They don’t deny compliments; they proudly accept. They’re confident & comfortable in their own skin. Sadly, probably for almost every girl, this sense of self imperfection gets buried, tattered, kicked to pieces, shattered to seemingly no repair the older they get. And it appears to happen younger and younger. We have 9 year olds obsessed with their own body weight, 5 year olds afraid of what other kids will think of their scars, their looks, their body weight. Look at some old little kid pictures of you. Weren’t you so cute? So perfect? So gorgeous? So un-tainted, a clean blank slate with endless possibilities & new beginnings. Feel the love & warmth for that innocent, sweet, beautiful child in that picture. Now look at yourself as you are right this moment. That’s still you. And now you have even more experience, knowledge, & wisdom. I want every little girl & every woman to always feel beautiful.

2.) Get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger – As LeeAnn Womack says in her song, “I Hope You Dance”. Be grateful for all you currently have & are but never settle and became stagnant. Always find motivation & inspiration to learn, explore, experience, love, & grow, and keep on going.

3.) Build and maintain an unwavering, strong, solid foundation of unconditional self love to always fall back on. Through the years you will encounter heartache, heartbreak, rejection & abandonment, loss & grief, pain, a sense of failure & falling. You will be criticized by people with good intentions & people with malicious intentions. You’ll lose friends, be gossiped about, experience betrayal by people you never imagined could do this to you but as painful as it will be, you will be strong enough to rise above, to bounce back, to use these painful experiences to your advantage, to learn & to grow. And as long as you keep your sense of love for yourself alive, you will always feel loved. Always be loved.

4.) You don’t need everyone to love & accept you. Whenever you feel lonely remember there will always be someone somewhere who can love you. You may not know these people yet but they exist. The way that you are, there are people who can love someone just like you. Also, love yourself.

5.) build others up, don’t ever drag them down – no one is better than anyone else. We all have good things & bad things. Tearing others down will never bring you up, it only serves to show more about you than the one you’re trying to destroy.

6.) always strive to see the good in people – even the kindest people may not always be kind. the most loving people still get angry sometimes. When people are hurt or numb they may act in ways that aren’t truly who they are. Bless others by acknowledging the goodness in them and not just seeing or magnifying the bad.

7.) Accept/tolerate people for who they are. You may have opposing views, different color skin, religions, opinions, ways of thinking, different appearances, cultures, or customs, sexual orientation, gender…but we are all equal, no one is less valuable.

8.) always know your worth. You are more than a size on your clothing, a number on a scale, the image you see in a mirror…These things say nothing about who you truly are or how beautiful you really are. You can work to make healthy changes for yourself but you are already worth so much.

9.) Know that you are and always will be “good enough”. No matter what mistakes you make, what things you don’t succeed at, no matter what anyone tells you or says about you. You are good enough just the way you are. And if someone cannot see that, that person doesn’t belong in your life.

10.) always be honest, at least with yourself, about who you are. Don’t change for people who won’t accept the real you. Know your deep inner self, your needs, your desires, your loves, your longings, what you don’t like, what you never want to be…

11.) at one point you may feel that your life has not turned out to look exactly like your peers’ lives. It may seem like everyone around you has it good, better than you do. Maybe they’re independent with their own house, job, money, maybe they’re married with kids or in a happy romantic relationship, maybe they have lots of friends and seem to have it all. Don’t compare yourself to them. Everyone lives at their own pace, their own way. Your life doesn’t have to look like theirs to be just as beautiful. And as long as you are alive & still going, you can accomplish things & realize your dreams. You may not do everything you thought you would do by now or at all in this life but you can do other things and still be happy. Just being you is a great accomplishment.

12.) always celebrate life. Don’t wait for birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, promotions or any other “reasons “. Life itself is reason enough to celebrate. Wear your favorite earrings, that pretty lipstick, that sexy dress that shows off your lovely curves, buy yourself flowers, take yourself to see a movie, SMILE! :-D. Keep that sense of wonder & awe. Bask in the beauty surrounding you. Be mindful of your senses and body & all they allow you to experience. Whatever you’re putting off doing until that “perfect ” occasion to celebrate, whatever you’re putting your happiness on hold for, let go & do that now, be happy now. Cherish the simple joys of living.

13.) follow your own dreams, plans, and goals and at your own pace. Don’t succumb to the demands or expectations or desires of family, friends, society, or others who try to get in your way. Many may have good intentions for you. Kindly listen to what they have to say, thank them for their input, and then go on your own way, following your own path.

14.) Be happy anyway. 😀

15.) Always keep your hope alive. No matter what pain you are currently experiencing and how difficult it seems, as long as you have hope, you will feel the will to keep going.

16.) Whenever you do not succeed how you wanted or planned, even if you feel like you failed, still be proud that you had the motivation to try, be proud that you ever had a dream. Take Jim Croce’s message: “I’ve got a song
And I carry it with me and I sing it loud
If it gets me nowhere, I’ll go there proud” ~ Jim Croce

17. ) always acknowledge the true gift you are – you are a true & rare gift to this world. You, just like every other person, have something positive to contribute to the world around you. You can fill a space no one else can. Again as LeeAnn Womack says, “When you come close to selling out, reconsider.”. Never give up on yourself. There will always be people better at things than you and worse at things than you, people will have more & people will have less but there will never, ever be another you. Never forget that.

18.) “Always be a little kinder than necessary.” ~ James M. Barrie <3. To yourself & others. Treat yourself how you would treat your best friend or someone else you love. Remember you are just as much of a person as all those people you love. Go easy on yourself, forgive yourself, be gentle with you, set realistic goals for yourself, don't hold yourself to impossible standards and then feel low for not achieving them. Let yourself feel happy and allow yourself to feel sad when you do & express it in healthy ways. Nurture yourself.

19.) Always know that you have choices, the choice to practice controlling your own attitude & that your attitude about something and how you react are important for how happy & peaceful you feel and think of yourself as a strong survivor,not a helpless victim.

20.) Be all that you can be. Always be the best you that you can be. This doesn’t mean trying to achieve perfection in everything you do, it means being as loving, as happy, as kind, as joyous, as forgiving, as caring about yourself and others, as compassionate as you can be.

21.) Love & laugh without holding back. Laugh out loud! Love with everything you are. You may be hurt but it’s a chance worth taking. Bless everyone with your smile. 😀

So here are some of my lessons to myself, and every girl & woman. Of course if I was talking to an actual five year old I would say these things in more age-appropriate ways but I seriously doubt there are any five year olds reading this and older people probably don’t want to read something here written in a language for a five year old! Lol ;-D

These, I believe, are valuable lessons for everyone. Maybe we haven’t all learned all of these lessons growing up. Maybe we learned them the hard way, as adults, maybe we have yet to learn & really truly apply & live some of these but it’s never too late as long as we’re living.

You may know these things intellectually but do you really truly feel them with your emotion, deep in the heart of your heart?

Whether you’re 5 years old, 10 years old, 16 years, 28 years, 35 years, 40..50..60..70..80..90..100 & beyond…

Always remember, you’re good enough as you are. You’re more than a number & an appearance and so much more than the painful words & concepts people, society, & the media throw at you.

You don’t ever have to be anyone else’s definition of beautiful, successful, perfect, or happy.
Be your own kind of beautiful.
Your own kind of successful.
Your own kind of perfect.
Do what makes YOU truly happy.

Don’t let anyone but YOU define you. Not your lover, your friends, your family, your society, your peers, your media. You define you.

Focus on your own strengths, your interests, your dreams/goals your unique beauty, your interesting and difficult challenges, look at the ways in which you have grown so much and acknowledge your potential and all of your opportunities to grow some more. Nourish yourself & cherish every moment you have been given.

This is what I want for you.
For me.
For all of us.

I absolutely loved thinking about & writing this blog post. I put everything I have into it and it felt so weird but amazing writing these things to/about myself. And like I said this is to everyone who can benefit,not just me. I encourage anyone to write a post like this. I find it to be a beautiful experience. I would love to read other people’s life lessons to their young selves. If you write a post like this, I would love to know!

Blessings & love & hope & laughter to you all!

“To be one woman, truly, wholly, is to be all women.” ~ Kate Braverman

Xoxo Kim 😀

“All around the world
This one’s for the girls

Yeah, we’re all the same inside (same inside)
From 1 to 99″ ~ Martina McBridE

(me – four or five years old)

An Inspiring Conversation

Aug23

” I choose to FIGHT BACK! I choose to RISE, not fall! I choose to LIVE, not die! And I know, I know that what’s within me is also WITHIN YOU. “~Mayor John Pappas (City Hall, 1996)

About a year ago, I had a conversation with someone at work one night. At first, I found this conversation to be very unpleasant but shortly after the conversation ended, I felt energized, inspired, uplifted, and so hopeful.

This conversation is one of the things which has had the greatest, positive impact on me in my journey to recover my suicidal depression.

A person was talking to me about drug addiction and people who struggle and have struggled with addiction. She had a very negative view of people who have suffered substance addiction, even the ones who have overcome it and no longer consume illegal/recreational drugs.

She basically held the view that drug addicted people are lost causes who are bound to go nowhere in life. And even when they recover or heal, they will always be “druggies”. “Druggies” who even after recovering will never find redemption or worth.

I couldn’t have disagreed with this girl more. I see so much potential and hope and light in almost everyone I look at. People are remarkably strong and resilient and can overcome and move forward even when it’s hard. Even when it’s painful and all seems hopeless. Even when it seems impossible. Even when it’s all just so dark.

There can always be light. When I look at a person, even a troubled, difficult, broken person with great obstacles and challenges, I don’t see an addiction or an illness or a mere label or a “lost cause”. I see a person. A light. Possibility and hope. Hope for healing. Hope for change.

Everyone has something to contribute to this world and everyone around us whether or not they realize it and even when it feels impossible. You may feel so empty, so broken, so devoid of life, so hopeless but you are not beyond healing or hope or love.

A person who has struggled with addiction and has overcome or healed that addiction and no longer takes drugs/alcohol has acheived an incredible accomplishment. It takes great strength and courage and dedication to pick up the broken pieces, the shattered parts of self and put them together again and become whole. There may always be scars, cracks, breaks, pain..but it’s possible to move forward and find true happiness, true joy in existence.

Why judge someone negatively for previous mistakes or a health condition or a choice that got out of control?

I have never struggled with addiction of any sort and cannot possibly know what it’s like. All I can know is that it is painful, devastating, heartbreaking and difficult for the person who is addicted and everyone around that person and that it IS possible, with help & support of various kinds, to get better enough to live and be happy living. Whether or not the person is completely recovered with no more urges or still has urges that are difficult to resist. Even someone who relapses now and then.

It’s not always easy for an addicted person to know this or to ask for help or to not relapse. And people struggling with addiction deserve empathy, understanding, compassion, love, encouragement. They aren’t monsters. Many of them may steal and assault people and become unrecognizable to those who knew them before the tragedy of addiction but they are not all bad people . Underneath the devastation and the addiction is an amazing person who can find hope and healing.

After this girl I had the conversation with left me that night I started to think about our contrasting views. She viewed people who struggle with addiction as some of the lowest people on Earth, worthless, bad, taking up space in a world they don’t deserve.

And I view them as the people they are. Worthy of love, empathy, care, acceptance, compassion…

And I started to think about how we need more people in this world with my view. We need people with better understanding and compassion.

I thought of my own struggle with suicidal depression, which back then, a year ago, was not as healed as it is today, right now.

I thought of all the moments I wanted to kill myself in this life, feeling as if I had nothing to live for and never ever would , as if I was worthless, empty, nothing, as if the pain was just too much to bear, weighing too heavy on my life, to go on.

And I realized if I ever kill myself, I kill my compassion for others, my love, my empathy, my understanding, my acceptance, my open mindedness. If I kill myself, I kill all the chances I will ever have to help another, before those chances even begin. If I kill me, I kill the opportunity to tell someone s/he is not a lost cause, not an addiction, not a loser, not deserving of callousness and abusive insults and cruelty. I kill the chance to tell someone there is hope.

I’m not an expert on addiction. I don’t know exactly how to handle an addicted person, especially one who is acting out. They may need firmness every now and then and not all sap and gentleness, I don’t know. But that’s not my point anyway; my point is that we need more people with compassion and positive views of troubled people. We need people who will not destructively criticize and tell people there’s no hope for them.

This goes for any troubled person or anyone who has made mistakes with serious consequences, not just addicted people.

And that if you ever kill yourself, you kill every positive aspect of yourself, your opportunity to eventually be fulfilled and healed and find or create a sense of purpose, and your opportunity for growth and your opportunity to impact the world and maybe even just one life for the better.

You’re under no obligation to live for others, it’s yourself you should live for. But there are people who need you to live, you may not have met them yet and maybe won’t meet them for many years, maybe you never will but your life will somehow touch theirs. Someone, somewhere needs YOU to LIVE. And eventually you will find or create a sense of purpose for your own existence.

Live for yourself and your own empathy and care and love. And live for all of your good qualities and possibilities.

I vowed to myself that night after that conversation which at first I believed to be unpleasant, that I will never take my own life. We should all live for ourselves. But when I used to get suicidal, I did not want to live for me. I saw nothing in me worth living for. But that night I vowed to never, ever end my own life even if I feel like it because if nothing else, there’s one thing in me worth surviving for, my concern and care for others. My empathy, my ability to see beyond illnesses and difficulties and troubles and mistakes, my desire, my longing to help heal and console in any way I can. This fulfills me. I know those aren’t my only reasons for living, my reason is just to be, but when I’m contemplating suicide I usually see nothing to go on for. But this view is something I will always believe in. Helping others, also helps me. We are all connected.

I don’t live to be a “slave” and used by others, I allow myself to be fulfilled by helping and positively impacting anyone I can.

There are many, many people like me who feel this way about people, that they can heal and are deserving of compassion and love. And if I kill myself there will be one less of us.

(No one should kill themselves even if they aren’t compassionate or empathetic or caring.

Since that night, I haven’t seriously contemplated ending my own life. And if I ever do again, I have a sweet reminder of something worth living for.

And there’s also another lesson to be learned here, anyone can be our teacher even those who are unpleasant, even unpleasant encounters can be inspiring and teach us valuable lessons. This young woman who I debated with that night, this at first seemingly unpleasant encounter, provided me with the chance to think about things which have filled me with hope & inspiration.

And here I am today, still inspired, still hopeful, still going strong.

Xox Much love, blessings, & hope to you all.

~Kim

“Don’t judge me by my past, I don’t live there anymore.”

“Possibilities are everywhere.”

“Always go the extra mile, it’s never crowded.”

“Your past is a gift to guide you, it doesn’t have to imprison you.”

How to cope with betrayal

Jul12

Recently, I experienced betrayal.

Instead of sinking into despair I chose to handle this situation positively and come up with ways to help me cope with this adversity.

I chose NOT to seek revenge on this person in anyway. But I am and will remain cautious of this person.

Here are a few things I found helpful and hope they will help others who may need some healing and consolation.

1.) Let yourself grieve, feel shattered, express your emotions in a healthy, effective manner. Admit your pain. Don’t deny you are hurt. You may find an outlet in music, writing, drawing, meditating, sleeping, talking to a therapist, family member, or good friend, snuggling with a pet. Even if you tell no other person, admit your pain to yourself. Repression is not good.

2.) Remember this betrayal says nothing about your character or morals or worth. Another person betrayed you, it’s not your fault. People hurt other people, even undeserving ones and those closest to them. The ones they should be loyal to. You probably feel very low. You may have thoughts that if you were somehow “better” in some way, this wouldn’t have happened. But you cannot control others. You can only work on and learn to control yourself. Someone else’s actions in no way define you.

3.) don’t dwell on the fact. It’s not good to obsess over this incident to the point it wears you out. Think about it in healthy ways and come up with ways to cope and move forward.

4.) know that it’s justified to feel angry or whatever you feel. Express your anger healthily. It’s probably best not to yell at, insult, or threaten the person. Handle this safely in your own way.

5.). Figure out if it’s worth it to you to keep this person in your life and do what you have to without guilt. Forgiving and forgetting and continuing this relationship is not a sign of weakness. This person may be important to you and maybe just made an individual mistake. It’s ok to accept an apology and move on. But it’s also ok if you feel the need to let go. Take care of yourself. If this person is taking too much of a toll on you may be you may want to consider cutting the person out if your life completely, partially, or temporarily distancing yourself emotionally or physically. Whatever you feel is best for you.

6.). Just because this person has supporters who may be against you doesn’t mean she/he is right or that you are wrong. There is always going to be someone against you for whatever reason whether it’s justified or not. Don’t let the negativity or destructive criticism of others drag or keep you down. take care of yourself.

7.) focus on yourself. Make a plan for yourself. Focus on your goals and your own personal development. Find strength in this chaotic situation. Better yourself.

8.) don’t stop trusting! There are still good people out there. Friends and potential friends who will never betray or intentionally or carelessly hurt you. Don’t let this person’s/people negative behavior taint or destroy your general trust.

9.) Let the pain make you better not bitter!

🙂

😀

May you find hope, comfort, joy, laughter, happiness, and healing. You can be strong. This heartbreak CAN heal!

Xo Kim

“Don’t forget your second wind
Sooner or later you’ll get your second wind

It’s not always easy to be living in this world of pain
You’re gonna be crashing into stone walls again and again
It’s alright, it’s alright, though you feel your heart break
You’re only human, you’re gonna have to deal with heartache
(You’re only human, ooo-ooo)” Billy Joel

This is a pic my sister took of me yesterday. I can’t remember why I was doing what I’m doing in this picture but it makes me laugh a lot! My sister said it looks like I’m saying “Come at me, come at me!” as if to tempt someone to tread on me so I can pounce on that person! Lol. And I think that’s a perfect attitude to have about negative situations(not people though!!) ! Throw it all on me and i’ll come back even stronger! So yeah! Lol

😀

Love & blessings to you!

Putting a Positive Spin on the questions you ask yourself

Jul12

You know those questions, the ones you ask yourself when you mess up or feel low about yourself? The ones which make you feel even more low?? They sound something like this:

1.) How can I be so stupid?!

2.) How could have I done such a thing?!

3.) Am I the biggest asshole Or what?

4.) Can I be anymore of a fuck up?

5.) What is WRONG with me?!

6.) Can I ever do anything right?!

7.) How could I have let this happen.

And then there’s the self-abusive/hopeless statements:

1.) what an asshole I am.

2.) I am the biggest loser.

3.) how stupid I am!

4.) I can’t do anything right.

5.) I’m so fat.

6.) i’ll never amount to anything.

7.) nothing will ever get better.

Those negative questions and statements serve no purpose but to perpetuate your negative energy and your low moods.

Instead of giving into that kind of self talk you may want to try this instead: take those questions and statements and put a positive spin on them.

For example. Take question #1 which is “How can I be so stupid?!” and transform it to:

“What can I do in the future to try to prevent this mistake I made now?”. Everyone makes mistakes, misunderstands things, is unaware of certain things, and does something wrong every now and then. Try to recognize what you may have missed or done wrong. You won’t always be able to prevent it again though. You will always occasionally make mistakes, some even more than once, maybe even again and again. And that’s ok. You are a human after all.

Go easy on yourself. Messing up doesn’t indicate that you are unintelligent.

Let’s take #2 “How could I have done such a thing?!”. Let’s transform that to:

“I made a mistake or have done something I’m not proud of. It says nothing of my worth or my overall intelligence or ability to make decisions.”.

Just because you occasionally do something “stupid ” doesn’t mean you, the person, is stupid. Just because you “fail” once in a while doesn’t make you a failure as a person.

And instead of seeing it as “failing”, you can even take this message:
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. ” ~Thomas A. Edison

You are experimenting and learning.

Instead of “I can’t do anything right” try something like “this did not turn out how I wanted but I can learn what to do/what not to do in the future. “

Ask yourself why you did what you did, how you can act differently in the future. Replace words like “loser “, “asshole”, “fail” or “failure ” with more positive loving words. You are a person who has made a mistake, tried and things did not go as expected or planned. You are alive and so have the opportunity to try and try again and WIN.

Also, when things are going your way and you are happy and inspired and joyous, it can help you to take note of it, examine it and see why you are feeling amazing. If you can pinpoint the things and thoughts and actions that are contributing to those wonderfully positive feelings, you can make a habit of doing and thinking those things regularly so you generally feel more positive.

If you are generally a happy, relaxed, joyful person then keep on doing what you’re doing! Think good things about yourself and others. Continue to care for yourself.

Rest. Sleep. Meditate. Splurge once in a while. Cut negative people out of your life.

If you catch yourself having too many negative moods or feelings lately, stop and see if you can determine why. Everyone, no matter how healthy and happy is going to experience low moods and feelings once in a while. That’s ok. But when they start becoming frequent and crashing in on you, take note of it.

Has something changed recently?

Are you getting less sleep for some reason?

Having difficulty in some relationship of yours?

Is the way you view an unpleasant experience contributing to your low feelings.

If you are generally not very happy, are very stressed, anxious, or depressed, there are things you can do to elevate and maintain a general sense of well-being.

Even if you’re generally unhappy or sluggish there may still be more seldom moments in your life where you have felt much better, happier, energized, and joy filled.

Sometimes you won’t know why you’re feeling low or why you’re feeling happy. Moods fluctuate often without a known reason.

But see if you can become aware of why you feel the way you do.

If meditating, resting, countering negative thoughts, caring for yourself, eating healthier…makes you feel happier and uplifts you, make those things routine. Do them everyday. Incorporate them into your schedule.

You’re worth it! 😀

Xox0 Kim

It’s OK to Say NO!

May26

I love to help people whether or not I know them. I even help people I don’t like much. I don’t mind going out of my way for people even when I get nothing tangible or anything in return. I help so much that I often put my own plans and desires on hold so other people come first. This happens more often than not.

Just the feeling of helping and knowing they are happy is enough for me.

But there comes a point when people go overboard with their demands and requests. That point is when they take advantage because they see how much someone helps and never or almost never says “No”.

It’s great to sometimes put others before yourself and to say “YES!” to helping often but it’s NOT great to do this so frequently that you constantly put yourself out and are wearing yourself out to the point of physical and/or emotional exhaustion and it’s taking a toll on your body and self- esteem.

Lately I have been burdened by other people’s excessive requests for favors and demands to the extreme. People I never imagined would do this to me. Since I like these people and since I love to help people in general, I kept saying yes to their every request no matter how extreme and how frequent and how much it wore on me and put me out.

My mom was angry and said this is completely wrong of them to keep asking and me to keep saying yes. I was constantly canceling and rearranging my own plans and putting my desires and needs on hold or completely abandoning them for other people’s wishes.

To do this sometimes is good! But to do this to the point of exhaustion and especially when the person or people asking non stop are clearly taking advantage and milking you for all you got just because in their heads they “Know” you’ll say yes is just going overboard and it’s uncalled for and detrimental.

I believe it’s detrimental not only to the one doing all the excessive favors but even to those asking excessively. They need to be grounded, set-straight, “Put in their Place” if you will. They need to wake up and finally see that the world does not in fact, revolve around them and what they’re doing is wrong.

It’s just wrong to take advantage of somone’s caring and generous nature.

And on top of that I asked one of these people for one small favor which I rarely do and was told NO. So they know how to say no when they feel like.

And someone asking me constantly to put myself last has turned into a backstabber and needs to be told no once in a while.

Recently, I finally said “NO!” to someone. And my initial reaction was guilt and then regret. “I shouldn’t have said No.”. “Should I have said No?” “Why am I being Selfish?”. “This is so unlike Me.”. “I should have said Yes!”. “Maybe I should just go say Yes!” and on and on.

But my mom reminded me of all I have been doing for them. So much, my pain disorder began acting up and I still did more.

Then underneath the guilt and regret, I felt a sense of liberation and relief. It’s my obligation to take care of myself and if saying no every now and then is caring for myself then that is what I have to do.

I will continue to help people often and sometimes put my plans off or cancel them for others. But I made a vow to myself to care for me as well, not just everyone else.

I don’t like when people are disappointed or angry and I definitely do not ever want to be the source of their pain but it’s not my job to wear myself out just to please people who purposely milk me for all I’m worth and turn into backstabbers.

No one is more important than anyone. No matter what.

If you want to say NO to someone who has been taking full advantage of your generosity and caring tendencies, say it! Scream it off the rooftops! Say NO! And if you want, don’t even explain. Don’t even say sorry if you don’t feel like it. Just a big NO will do. NO!

Say YES to yourself for once. And then make a habit of it.

As the saying goes, “People will treat you how you let Them.”. Not everyone takes advantage but those who do , pick up on how you are and how you react. They see how you usually are and then they base their treatment of you on that. So stand up for yourself. You’re worth it.

“That you may retain your self-respect, it is better
to displease the people by doing what you know is right,
than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.”
– William J. H. Boetcker

“Perhaps the surest test of an individual’s integrity
is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect.”
– Thomas S. Monson

“Self-respect is often mistaken for arrogance
when in reality it is the opposite.
When we can recognize all our good qualities
as well as or faults with neutrality,
we can start to appreciate ourselves
as we would a dear friend
and experience the comfortable inner glow of respect.”
– Osho

“Self-respect is not a function of size, age, or wealth.
Breathe deep, sing loud and sweet,
I am me, I am unique, I am magnificent.”
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

“When you say ‘Yes’ to others, make sure you are not saying ‘No’ to yourself.”
~Paolo Coehlo

Here’s to saying YES to yourself!!!

Xox0 Kim 😀

Lifeless & Inspired

May9

I have been so inspired to post here for the last few days. I have been having amazing, inspirational thoughts swirling around in my head like magic and have been wanting to share but I couldn’t. Because of work. I have been working every single day for almost two weeks straight and often very long shifts with no breaks.

We have no breaks like lunch breaks where I work because my boss is generous and let’s us eat & drink whatever we want whenever we want. So we don’t have scheduled breaks. And I don’t have a problem with that. But when it’s busy it’s difficult to get a chance to even take a quick swig of soda! And it sure has been busy. And it’s sucking the life out of me.

My only coworker recently had surgery and has been out for a while and my boss and manager were on vacation for a couple weeks. So I have been practically running the place myself with almost no help. And it has taken a toll on me!

My job itself is not life draining. I love working at the store and it’s generally a very positive environment. But working almost two weeks with no day off and extremely long hours is life draining.

And to top it off on Monday, my manager’s first day back after her vacation I had work that night after an eleven hour shift the day before and when I came into work my manager complained to me about the floor. And the sinks. I mopped the floor three times the night before but our mop was old and not so effective anymore. I soaked it thoroughly but it still put gray streaks across the floor. Not bad ones but still noticable.

I did every single thing I was supposed to do. I got out of work a half hour late making sure the place was clean as can be and my manager complained to me! After I took over the place when no one else could or would! I had to put my own needs and desires on hold and neglect them for work. And it was unpleasant.

I was not expecting an extra pay, or appreciation, or a thank you or anything like that! But I surely wasn’t wanting to get complained to for something so trivial that doesn’t happen often and wasn’t even something I did intentionally or carelessly.

That took the life out of me even more. Even my one day off I was too exhausted to do much. I just mostly slept the whole day.

It’s not just work though, my new puppy is like a human baby. He wakes me up in the early morning and for the next few hours wants to play literally non stop! He will not let me sleep and I am so exhausted for the rest of the day! Lol. But he is a cutie and I love that boy!

Here’s the little terror right here.

Parts of my days for the last few I have felt so lifeless but then it would rain or flowers would bloom or I would look up at the beautiful bright blue sky dappled in pretty whiteclouds and life would surge right through me again. And I would have the strength and the motivation to keep going.

I absolutely love Nature ‘s sweet gifts.

This is the view outside my bedroom Window! How blessed I am! These perfect purple flowers bloomed on the tree this Spring. A little bit of heaven right here on Earth! Oh yes, how lovely.

I took a pic of this old fashioned looking trolley and then put a vintage effect on the photo to make it look even more old fashioned! I am quite the photographer! Lol jk!

And I just laughed really hard at my own joke. I’m talking about a good belly laugh!

;-p

One of our Septa busses here in beautiful Philadelphia!

This is me.

Me again.

So i’ll end the pictures in this post here.

In this post I will let people know that it’s ok to not always be strong or feel strong or be perfect in everything you do.

Whatever your definition of strong or perfection is, or whatever definition of those you feel the need to live up to it’s ok to sometimes let it go. It’s ok to have mini “Breakdowns” and get angry, stressed, frustrated, or cry and complain.

You don’t always have to give it your all.

That’s not something we hear often but sometimes it’s best to rest and not try so hard.

You can slack or rest. Be good instead of great. Or ok instead of good sometimes. That’s ok.

You can collapse into bed and just rest all day when you have nothing to do or even blow off certain things you are expected to do just to care for yourself.

You can skip your exercise routine once in a while or even take a day off work or class. But don’t skip sleep or rest or food.

It’s ok to feel weak sometimes.

Also everyone has problems now and then. Some may seem worse than others or more deserving of empathy or sympathy or more “Appropriate” to complain about but just because someone else’s problem seems worse doesn’t mean yours isn’t real or bad or that you should keep yours bottled up inside just because it seems like “Less”. Other people’s problems do not obliterate yours.

If it inspires you to think “There are worse problems so I should feel Grateful.” then definitely think that way! But if it just hurts you and makes you feel guilty then let that thought go and let yourself complain and release and express your emotions in a healthy way.

Your emotions, thoughts, and your problems are valid and deserving of attention. And you don’t have to feel guilty. Just be.

It’s ok not to feel grateful every second of everyday. In my opinion we should definitely generally live a life of gratitude and develop or strengthen the habit of being grateful and seeing the positive often, even almost always, but it’s definitely ok to sometimes just vent and admit that we don’t always feel grateful or happy.

Negative emotions and thoughts are part of living. And since you’re a living human you will experience negativity and the desire or need to react to it. So go ahead, let your self.

One thing that is extremely helpful is meditation.

Here is a great website all about meditation with free downloadable mp3’s!!

http://www.meditationoasis.com/

This is good for beginners so if you don’t know much about it you can learn and they also have advanced meditation mp3’s for people who are already acquainted or at ease with it.

I took a meditation course in college where I practiced and learned all about it. The one I’m interested in is mindfulness meditation. They have so many mp3’s. Ones to help you with gratitude, anger, pain, deep rest, pregnancy, creativity, and so many, many more.

Also check this other meditation page out about mindfulness: https://livingmindfully.org/

When I meditate my whole body feels rested and I feel rested mentally as well.

It’s an amazing experience that cannot really be explained in words, it must be practiced. It’s good to meditate regularly. I used to morning and then again at night but began slacking! But I intend to begin again!

Xoxo Kim

P.s. Since my new phone is so perfectly compatible with the mobile wordpress app and it allows multiple photos in the same entry, you will be seeing many, many more pictures that Itake as long as you keep checking out my blog! Yay! It’s a dream come true! 😀

Staying Positive even during negative situations

Jan12

Here are some tips for how to stay positive even during difficult struggles and pain or during other people’s negativity when you have to be around it.

These are things that help me and I hope they will help you too. We are all different and unique and not everything that helps one of us will definitely help another so you have to try and practice various things until you find what is best for you but I believe these things will help many people.

1.) Give thanks.

Think of the things that actually ARE going right. You can start with simple things like your health, your senses, the sky, stars, daylight, sun, moon. Maybe you have wonderful friends and great family even if you cannot be near them as often as you would like. Do you have a fantastic job or at least an ok one for now? Or maybe sweet pets or great food! Make a list of all you have.

2.) Color/arts and crafts

If you are into creation you can draw or color and get lost in the activity to take your mind off of the negativity for a while. It can help you to create something and be proud of your creation!

You can cut colorful pictures out of magazines or cut out letters and make them into inspirational quotes to glue on construction paper.

3.) Meditate

Mindfulness mediation is something I love and it puts my entire body at ease. Close your eyes, sit in a comfortable position and focus on your breath. Check out meditation Oasis. http://www.meditationoasis.com/podcast/listen-to-podcast/

4.) Walk –

If you can, go for a walk. Pay close attention to your surroundings. Take in the wonder of the colors, the sounds, the feel, the scents…everything. It can help relax you and put your mind onto something positive in the present moment.

5.) If you can, try writing to, calling, texting a positive friend. True friends are always so uplifting and great to talk to. Even if you don’t want to spill your problems at the moment, maybe you can talk about pleasant things.

6.). Try positive journaling where you write and focus on the good in your life or about yourself. List your dreams, goals, hopes, plans, great qualities, fun things…

7.) Positive music, songs, read positive lyrics and quotes, print them out, write them down

8.) Exercise – this is a great outlet for stress and frustration and makes your body feel amazing. You can engage in a vigorous work out or jump on a trampoline or something simple like a quick walk.

9.) Read uplifting books

10.). Search the net for some positive outlets to take your mind off of the pain & craziness of the moment.

11.) Animals – animals are beautiful and loyal friends. They love unconditionally. If you have none, try to be near a friend’s, walk by a dog park and see the joyfulness that runs wild in there! 😀

12.) Take good, loving care of yourself! You deserve it! No matter what is going on, nurture yourself and speak/think kind, loving things about yourself. Think of your good qualities – physical and emotional. Get good rest and good sleep. Maybe a full body massage? Or a mani/pedi. And reward your body with healthy foods and maybe a delectable snack like chocolate cake or whatever you consider a delicious treat. Treat yourself how you would treat someone you love.

13.). Do not put off stuff you love. Still put on your makeup if that’s what you like. Get dressed up, fix your hair…

14.). Watch an uplifting, comical movie

15.) Read funny jokes, get a good laugh! 😀

I hope these things help you!

❤

X0xo Kim 🙂 😀

P.S. The picture is one I drew to represent peace of mind. It’s a white dove still flying with her wings up even in the midst of a wild storm with rain & lightening. It’s meant to show the fact that we can stay peaceful, calm, and serene even during environmental turmoil. My sister and me came up with the picture and I drew it.