Archive | January 2016

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“Be melting snow.
Wash yourself of yourself.” ~Rumi

❤

Today I woke up with the headache worse than usual when I wake up, but it wasn’t the worst. Now it’s a lot better. 

I woke up with this feeling like this life can’t be better than this. I have no money (I haven’t been working because of the weather, my boss closes for wicked weather! ) and I have a chronic headache but life is still beautiful! 

I feel so inspired, so beautiful, so hopeful, so grand. The sun is shining brightly through the bare trees, the ground and everything is covered in melting snow and ice and sludge. It’s so hard to walk because my shoes slip and fill with cold slush. And it’s all so beautiful.

I saw a few birds flying by out my bedroom window. Some of my favorite kind of days are cool/warm Winter days that remind me of an impending Spring. Especially when they are covered in snow and the sun is shining brightly!

I love when the seasons collide and mesh together to form a beautiful medley.

Today I’m eating chocolate Oreo cookies with green mint in the middle instead of the original white cream. They are delicious!! Mint is my absolute favorite! The scent of the mint in these cookies is heavenly. 

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The air is so cool and so sweet today. It caresses my skin so gently and is exhilarating.

I’m generally happy but I also have recurring episodes of severe depression. The episodes often come close together. They last hours,days, weeks, or months. They used to last around three and four months, sometimes longer. And often in the middle I would have less severe, but often still severe, depression. Through the years I worked on myself to be better and better. Now I’m still not cured but my depression is much less frequent. The duration of my depressive episodes usually isn’t months anymore. Usually they last a month or less now. And I don’t have longterm depression in the middle anymore. Sometimes I still have symptoms in the intervals but not always and not usually as bad. Also, I cope with the depression much better now. 

This sunny afternoon, I was thinking what a sharp contrast this beautiful feeling is when compared to that deep, dark, depression I lived (and sometimes still live), for years and years.

What a beautiful, sharp contrast. 

Just last night I felt somewhere all the way in the back of my mind that I may be detecting an impending episode. But it quickly vanished. I’m so thankful! Because it’s already in me to have depression, I can have symptoms very briefly that end as quickly as they begin. I can usually detect what kind of episodes I am about to be hit with and approximately how long I will have to endure it. And I can sometimes make it so it doesn’t hit too hard. Isn’t that amazing?! I have different degrees of depression, different severity levels, and different durations. Some only last hours to days while others last weeks to months. Some are severe and some beyond severe. Some are suicidal depression and some are not.

But today there’s not an ounce of depression in me. I am very mindful of not being depressed. One of the great things about having to live a life of longterm depression is when I’m not depressed, I never take it for granted. I realize even more how great it is to be happy! I realize not only how incredible it is to live but to want to live.

And today I am even more mindful of it than usual. 

I am filled with immense gratitude. 

And I am inspired by this beautiful season.
Winter inspires me deeply.

Yesterday I went for a walk to a couple of stores and I went out of my way just to walk more and to take beautiful pictures! 

I will share some here!

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This is the same picture with two different effects. Kids and their daddy sledding up on a hill having fun. It was so sweet and inspiring to hear their laughter & squealing and see their love. I remember when I was a little girl and would go sledding with my friends and my dad.

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I love the shadows and reflections upon the snow that the fence puts there with the sunlight streaming through the slits.

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The sun always comes out again. ❤

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I love seeing workers doing work outside.

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It’s not all beauty & fun though, I heard a few people were hurt and killed in the recent storm and a few died of heart attacks while shoveling the snow including an 80 something year old man and an eighteen year old girl who was pregnant. Seriously?! An 18 year old?! Her unborn baby and her both died. My heart just sinks. My love & compassion go out to all those affected by these terrible tragedies. How heartbreaking.

Last night my mom, sister, and me watched the movies My Girl & My Girl 2. I haven’t watched those movies in many years and never realized how inspiring they are.

Here is a song that the girl’s mom sings on a video in the second movie:

“Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what’s the use of crying?
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile”
😀

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“Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you”

A beautiful, inspiring reminder to smile even when things aren’t so perfect. There’s always something to smile about!! 😀 ❤

Much love to you,

xoxo Kim ❤

Life Ain’t Always Beautiful

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“Life ain’t always beautiful
Sometimes it’s just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart
Life ain’t always beautiful
You think you’re on your way
And it’s just a dead end road at the end of the day
But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin its sweet time”

I love this beautiful Country song, written by Cyndi Goodman and Tommy Lee James and sung by Gary Allan. 

 It’s so inspiring and touching. And especially knowing one of his real life experiences of deep pain that may have influenced his choice to sing this song and with so much passion. 
The song is about how life can be hard and sad and not all good but it’s still a beautiful journey overall. 

“happiness has its own way of takin’ its sweet time”

Just because we aren’t happy right now or sometimes doesn’t mean we are destined to be unhappy forever. We can always become happy at any point as long as we are alive. 

Gary Allan is a man who experienced true tragedy. He lost his beautiful wife to suicide in 2004. What an unimaginable loss for him and their kids and other family and friends. My heart goes out to them. Imagine the pain and horror they must live with each day. 

His wife, Angela, suffered with severe headaches and depression for years and took her own life one night while she was at home with the children. Poor baby. It’s so devastating that she suffered how she did and couldn’t see the light through her darkness. I wish I could give her a hug. 

We can want to die one second but just a second later change our mind. Imagine how many suicide victims probably would have changed their minds if only they held on just a second longer. Imagine how many pulled the trigger just a second too soon. The depression, the headaches, the suicidal inclination, for many of us aren’t temporary. They are chronic or episodic and they come and go. Come and go. Appear then disappear. But even though they always come back, and even if they stay a while, they always go again or can if we hold on. It does not always feel as if it will or can end or that we can live with it. But the pain can end and/or we can learn to cope better. And we can still find beauty in pain, both physical & emotional. 

“No, life ain’t always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life ain’t always beautiful
But it’s a beautiful ride”

This song is full of so much strength and determination. So much hope. Instead of giving up and becoming bitter, he takes his pain and puts it into his singing to share beautiful messages with the world.

We can all take our pain, no matter how serious or minor, and turn it into good whether it’s through singing, writing, sharing our experiences or positive message any way we can. Even if it doesn’t reach as many as a famous person’s does, it can still reach at least one. And that is good enough. ❤

This song here can apply to any pain or problems we may have. 

Even through his agony and loss he can see beauty in this life. It's ok that life isn't always beautiful. We can seize all the beautiful moments and acknowledge them, honor them, cherish them instead of getting sucked into the bad and overlooking all the goodness.

Just because pain and tragedy and nonsense exist in life doesn't mean beauty and goodness is outweighed or has to take the back burner. Why let the bad side have all or most of the attention and energy? We have a choice where to place our attention. For some people, it may take a lot of practice to generally see the good. But it's always possible. 

I feel a pull in my chest and deep beauty well up in it when I listen to this song or read the lyrics.

I just love his gentle, kind of sad, but hopeful voice. It’s so beautiful.
❤


"No, life ain't always beautiful
But I know I'll be fine
Hey, life ain't always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride"

Life Ain't Always Beautiful – Gary Allan 🙂

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Much love & light to you. ❤

Xoxo Kim ❤

If you want to be happy…

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“A pretty woman makes her husband look small
And very often causes his downfall.
As soon as he marries her 
Then she starts to do
The things that will break his heart.
But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
You’ll be happy for the rest of your life,
An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
She’ll always give you peace of mind.”

An ugly woman?! I don’t think there is such a thing! Lol 

Since I’m sharing this song I decided to share a couple of the “ugliest” (there’s actually waayyy uglier ones my sister has of me that she takes of me during moments I least expect it but I won’t be sharing those here – she has them on Facebook though!) pics of me. lol It’s not that I’m ugly but these are pictures I took of myself recently during my horrible sore throat and stuff. I’m totally not in my underwear, just pj shorts. lol And I have chicken legs (natural ones, not because I’m sick) which my mom thinks are hilarious. They aren’t as noticeable in pants.

I took these pictures shortly after I felt my sickness slowly beginning to heal. I was celebrating my desire to “live again” after walking around like a zombie for a few days. lol So for this reason, I think they are beautiful pics!

This is me recovering just after a terrible sore throat and possibly a (mild) kidney infection.
I haven’t been this sick in quite a while. And if I look a wreck, in my defense, like I said, I’m sick but recovering very well!  

Don’t you just LOVE the feeling of getting over a sickness?! It’s a wonderful feeling for sure. When I’m listing things to be grateful for, even when I’m not sick and haven’t been in a while, I frequently think of the incredible feeling when a sickness begins to end. In general, most of us feel this feeling of not being sick but we tend to overlook it I think, take it for granted, because we’re so used to it….until we get sick. Then we realize how absolutely wonderful it is to not be sick. ❤

I was letting my dog out in the backyard to go potty and as I stood there at the door waiting (she doesn't like us to leave and close the door on her lol), I felt flooded with gratitude that I felt so much less sick! 

I'm sharing this funny song & pictures as part of my one word challenge! My word is beauty. It’s just a funny song, but definitely not true! There are lots of pretty girls who can make some delicious food and love to cook for others and are great loyal, wives, girlfriends, lovers…. 

This song, while kind of rude, is uplifting!  

“Say man. 
Hey baby. 
Saw your wife the other day. 
Yeah?
Yeah, she’s uglyyy. 
Yeah, she’s ugly but she sure can cook. 
Yeah?. Okay.”

Lol Whaaattt?!?

I can’t cook (but then again, I never even try…)and don’t want to and I don’t keep stuff neat and organized so I must be totally gorgeous!! ;-D

My view is if you truly want to be happy, look for the beauty in everyone. Not just physical beauty but inner beauty. “Look for the light in others and treat them as if that’s all you see.” Also not to assume things especially based on outter appearances. You may think a woman is ugly and it turns out she can’t cook at all and a woman you find stunning may be a great chef! 

And not just about cooking but anything. Lol Physical appearance can’t generally tell us much about someone!

This may seem like common sense but some people really do judge based on appearances. I’m not completely innocent of this myself. I don’t ever judge based on level of attractiveness but there have been occasions I just looked at someone and thought this person doesn’t seem like the most pleasant person and the person turned out to be the sweetest thing! Even if we get a first impression that isn’t good, we don’t have to act on it! Let’s give everyone a chance! ❤

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(This isn’t my photo but isn’t it sweet?!)

It’s hard though to listen to this song and not want to giggle or sing along! 😀 The tune is quite catchy, wouldn’t you say? 😀

❤

Jimmy Soul – “If You Want to Be Happy”

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~Hugs!~ ❤ 😀

xoxo Kim

My Painting

Beautiful & inspiring! Check it out & put some color in your world! 😀 ❤

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SELF-REFLECTION

DAY 9

ART IS MY PASSION

HERE IS ANOTHER PIECE BY ME

What is your passion?  If you do not know, find it and pursue it.  It will make you a happier person. Trust me.

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When the sun comes out again….<3

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“It felt like spring time on this February morning
In a courtyard birds were singing your praise
I’m still recalling things you said to make me feel alright
I carried them with me today”

I found this fortune on the floor near the door when I walked into work today. It brightened my day and made me smile. And it reminds me to smile at the very next person I look at (which I did! And he smiled back! 😀 ). 

Last night I had difficulty sleeping. My grief kept me awake. It tends to do that some nights.
But my adorable dogs know when I’m in serious pain whether it’s physical or emotional and they show me extra love. Lol It’s so cute!! ❤

One of the strange things about grief is how one moment it can be quiet, soft, mellow, calm, easy to bear then the very next moment it can be raw, agonizing, violent, nearly unbearable. It appears and reappears for many of us as long as we live, no matter how long ago the loss occurred. I still feel this for my dog who died of old age in 2013 and others I knew and love.

Last night I was thinking about how in just a few weeks, it will be the first anniversary of my close friend/coworker's unexpected death. It has been a long exhausting journey of grief this last year. Full of beauty & pain. Light & darkness. Love & hope.  
One year is just a social construct and it seems strange and interesting to think about it. Our society places so much importance on anniversaries each year.  This can be good or be very painful. Or both? 

My grief exacerbates to nearly unbearable levels off and on throughout my days. And while it's so hard sometimes, I know that's ok. It will be like that. I no longer try to battle it usually. It's not something to be battled. 

It's just a natural reaction to our losses. So I let it appear, do what it will, and then mellow out to the more bearable levels until the next raw flare up whenever it may be. 

Sometimes I still have trouble doing this though. Sometimes I want to resist that grief that hurts so much. 

Last night as I laid down to sleep, it just hit me. So unexpectedly. My beautiful friend never leaves my mind and my grief never leaves me either. But like I said, my grief now is usually bearable. 

But last night as I thought of the first anniversary approaching, the pain came at me like daggers piercing every square inch of my being. I thought of all the beautiful days we shared together in the last decade. All the love she has shown me and the love I still have for her and always will. But last night the happy memories weren't enough to soothe the pain. In some way, they even worsened it. Somehow though, I finally drifted off to sleep with her beautiful face across my mind. 

“Oh darlin’ as I lay me down to sleep
This I pray, that you will hold me dear
Though I’m far away
I’ll whisper your name into the sky
And I will wake up happy”
❤

Today I woke up still in that terrible raw state of grief. It's worse than when she died because at least back then the shock of her unexpected death protected me against the agony that was soon coming. But when I think of her, when I speak her name, it's so healing. 

As I sat at work today, a memory came to me. It was the Summer before she died. It was July, just after her 58th birthday. I was 28 years old. Diane always treated me like her own daughter. We stood together by the soda boxes in the store I work at. Her job was in the bar kitchen across the street. But she came over to the store to help me when it was busy. She absolutely loved to help people. She was a very giving person.

She often came over just to talk to me or bring me food and tell me something funny. She was hilarious, so full of life. Diane bragged about me to others constantly and always told me how wonderful I am and how she loved me. She was so proud of her sons and always sharing stories about her grandkids. She was so full of love. 
I always loved how she referred to her boys as "My Thomas" and "My Matthew" and "My Daniel" 
She would scold me when she thought I was doing something not good for myself like if she thought I was not eating enough food. She was always making me food and bringing it to me. 

My sweet, sweet friend. I miss her like crazy. The pain is almost physical. 

I always felt so close to her. 

I remember her black hair blowing in the swirl of the air the fan was blowing that day. I remember her white t-shirt and long denim shorts. And her beautiful voice.

There is nothing significant about this memory. It just came to me in one of my worst moments of grief and stood out. I love how it's just a simple memory of a mundane part of an ordinary day, yet it's so vivid in my mind. 

And it's a memory only I have of us together that day. There was no one else here. It feels so unique. But now it's written in stone, for the world to see at any moment of any day. And for that I am thankful.

Today I walked over to the soda box where we stood that day. I longed for her. I longed to feel her near me. My arms ached to hug her. 

 And as my grief reached its pinnacle and I felt it would destroy me and I was so tempted to repress and deny it, instead I let it ripple through me in agonizing waves. I let my body writhe in agony, I let myself keel over as I clutched my chest which felt like it held something inside physically breaking, as I thought of how I'll never see her again, how she'll never live again, never work again, never see her sons and family and friends again. Never again feel the wind blowing through her dark black hair. I thought of her hearing aids and how she'll never again reach up to adjust them. She'll never again eat her favorite strawberry ice cream or drink her favorite soda, which is also my favorite. Coca Cola. We both have always loved it and we both wouldn't drink Pepsi if Coca Cola was sold out. Lol Instead we drank Mt. Dew. 

So I let the pain break me. As much as I wanted to resist it. I let it break me. Then I allowed myself to steal away into the stillness around me and within, the quietude, the spaciousness, the emptiness, that awaits beyond the worst of the pain. The still of this cold, desolate  afternoon enveloped me in a soothing, exhilarating kind of way, giving me life & hope. 

And I felt beauty. I felt calm. Love. Whole. I felt her in my loving memories and I felt healed to a certain point. Grief, for many of us never completely heals but that's ok. 

It will appear and reappear and rise and fall. It will scream some moments, loud and vicious and terrible. And other moments it will softly arise in our self, floating gently and sadly but beautifully across our essence. Sometimes the happy memories will shatter us to pieces and other moments they will put us back together and help heal the darkest pain. And it's all ok. But it won't always feel ok. And that's ok too.

I was so tempted to only see the ugly in my grief today but I remembered my vow to this year refine my ability to see beauty in every moment, even the seemingly ugly ones. To deepen my sense of beauty and strengthen my philosophy of life that life is beautiful even in its darkest moments. 

So I let myself stand in quiet and calm and felt the beauty rise and surge within and consume me in its glow. 

And it was all ok again. 
And all will be ok again.

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Acceptance is a beautiful thing. It beautifies the world. We can accept our things that can't be changed and just go with the flow. And even things that can be changed, we can accept that things happen that aren't good while trying our best to help it. Acceptance doesn't mean we don't try to help it. It just means we allow whatever will be, to be and move forward doing the best we can, the best we know how. 

I accept my grief and my loss. And I move forward and try to help others in any way I can, often through my writing here & sharing inspiring posts. If it just touches one person, even in some small way, it's truly amazing. ❤ ❤

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“It’s not too near for me
Like a flower I need the rain
Though its not clear to me
Every season has its change
And I will see you
When the sun comes out again”
~
 Sophie B. Hawkins – As I Lay Me Down 

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I’m wishing you much love & light today and always,

~Hugs~

Xoxo Kim 

Love lived first

This is a heartbreaking and beautiful tribute by a loving mother to her beautiful son who has left this Earth much too soon. It’s a beautiful reminder to see love & beauty even through the agony and tears of grief. Like she says, if grief exists then so does love. Grief is incredibly painful but grief itself is an indication of love. So whenever we grieve, let’s not forget to see the beauty in it also, the love we had and still will always have for the ones we have lost. Grief shows how those we lost have touched us deeply and always will. ❤ ❤ I'm thankful for this amazing reminder to see the light & beauty that still exists through the pain. It will never take the pain away but it's still great to honor the love we have for the ones no longer on Earth with us and to honor them. ❤

MeRaw's avatarThe Journey of My Left Foot (whilst remembering my son)

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Thursday 21st January

“grief only exists
where love lived
first”

Every morning when I awake
I look upon your smiling face.
Your photograph is close to me.
But all I feel is an empty space.

Excitement is not what it was.
Grief is always in the shadows,
Biding its time before a strike,
Where and when, no one knows.

The pain stops you in your tracks.
In the midst of cheerfulness: boom.
Painful emotions and floods of tears,
Fill the atmosphere with gloom.

Yet, the anguish is there for a reason.
Our love for you was so immense,
Your loss is just so indescribable,
Our love was unbelievably intense.

So, every night before I close my eyes
I look upon your smiling face.
Your photograph looks back at me
Sending love from a higher place.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Love…

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Church

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1 Corinthians 13:4-7New International Version (NIV)

“4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

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(this one isn’t mine)

I’m not religious but I love churches! And I just love the little golden cross at the top and the Wintery feel of my photo here. Churches are one of my favorite things to take pictures of! They are just beautiful. And while I don’t believe in any gods, I still find deep beauty & inspiration in some of the messages and love of people who believe in them or one of them. 
I am someone who finds beauty & inspiration everywhere, even in things I don’t agree with and even in dark situations.
But this year, as part of my one word challenge, I’m being even more mindful of beauty everywhere. Beauty is my word. 

😀

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So I decided to share my pictures here with a Biblical (at least in some versions) quote I find beauty in. And also I want to share a sweet Jesus song I find so much inspiration in.
I want my one word challenge to be about not only finding beauty in my own views and things I completely agree with but appreciating the beauty in other views and opinions I don’t share. 

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“Surely nations were not made for war

Or the broken meant to be ignored

Surely this just can’t be what You saw
Let Your Kingdom come here in my heart
And I will live to carry Your compassion, to love a world that’s broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give with the life that I’ve been given
And go beyond religion to see the world be changed
By the power of Your name
The power of Your name”

Isn’t this incredibly beautiful?! It’s not just a message that can only apply to those who believe in Jesus. It’s meant for each one of us. Jesus, whether he was/is a real man or only a character in a fairytale, is symbolic of love, compassion, and hope. Those are messages that can apply to all of us. We can look within us to find that power to help transform the world around us.

I invite you to look for and find beauty in places you don’t think you are likely to find it. Maybe in certain political views for example or in the people who hold views you yourself do not. There are views I don’t agree with but appreciate people’s courage to share them or the determination they have to work for their cause. If we really try, we will find glimpses of beauty even in the most unlikely places.

It’s worth the challenge!

❤

Much love & light,

xoxo Kim

One word.

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“…maybe if we are surrounded in beauty
Someday we will become what we see.”
~Jewel

I’m Sensitive – Jewel – mobile

I’m Sensitive – desktop

This post is longer than I want it to be but I’m much better, in general, with keeping my posts, messages, comments to people….shorter. Who wants to read like 20 pages of a blog post or e-mail or comment?! Lol But I still tend to get carried away now & again!

;-D   

For the last few years I heard about the one word challenge where we choose one word for the new year and decide to live up to and honor it any way we can the whole year.

I never felt compelled to participate in this because I felt there’s too many words I want to live each day, not just one. It seemed uninteresting to choose one word to live & breathe each day for just one year. And many words or concepts are interconnected. So how do we choose which aspect to focus on? And I used to think, when the year ends, what happens to our word? It gets chucked out the window, kicked to the curb, forgotten, abandoned? 

I remember at the end of 2013, I was having a horrible cluster of severe headaches and it was terrible. The word I clung to is “hope.” Hope that my headaches would soon end or that I would learn to live with the blinding, burning, aching agony, somehow learn to live with it. I bought a few things including a candle holder and notebook with the word “hope” on it.  I was so hurt and the end of 2013 is one of the most desperate, agonizing, traumatic, but beautiful seasons of this life of mine. Even though I still feel the trauma of it while remembering, it really showed me my strength and how desperate but hopeful I can be. It showed me what I’m made of and how a single word can do so much, be so much, be so inspiring, so empowering. The memory, while painful, is also beautiful in my mind. It really tested my life philosophy that life is so beautiful and is worth holding onto, worth each battle, even with very severe pain, both emotional & physical.  

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My experience with headaches piqued my interest in the one word challenge but not too much. But I wrote here that if I were to choose a word for 2014, it would be “hope.” I wanted to go into 2014 with more hope and a conscious, intentional determination to find & feel hope. I still did not engage in the one word challenge very consciously but I did better keep hope alive. 

You can read my December 2013 post here:

https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/2013/12/31/and-then-a-hero-comes-along-with-the-strength-to-carry-on/

This year though, I received an e-mail, a subscription e-mail, suggesting I try the one word thing as an alternative to new year resolutions and for some reason I felt so inspired and compelled to participate the moment I began reading the e-mail and the word “beauty” was already in my head. I did not even have to search for or contemplate my word; it was just here in my head. I think it’s because my wisdom is deeper now than it was every other year that this challenge now inspires me enough to participate. Not that those who aren’t interested in this challenge are not as wise or even more wise than I am! 

It’s just that I now see the wisdom of focusing on just one word. Or just one thing. It doesn’t mean we can’t also honor other words or incorporate them into our days. Or that once the year ends so does our focus on the concept of our chosen word. I won’t stop seeing beauty when it turns 2017.  It’s just that the simplicity of focusing more on just one word for this challenge is very effective and organized. And we can take the skills it equips us with into the new year while choosing a new word to put more focus on.

Sometimes if we have multiple things to give much attention to, it can be distracting or not as clear. 

For example, when I have multiple books out or multiple books on my Kindle’s home screen, I often don’t know where to start or start with one book then keep switching. I love reading two books or even three on the same days but having too many isn’t always good because I don’t focus on the couple I try to. It’s good to give attention to one or two then when they’re through, move on to the next. I have had good books I tossed aside and never read yet because I had too many out at once and kept getting distracted so gave up on them all for a while.

It can be the same with college classes or utility bills that we are in debt with, if there’s too many, we may not know where to begin or how to get organized. 

One word for this activity brings clarity and organization. 

My word is “beauty.” I vow to see and look for beauty in each day, every situation, every person, no matter what goes on. I see/feel beauty naturally and when it doesn’t come naturally some occasions, I make it a point to look & find. 

But this year, I will focus even more on the beauty of life each day. When I say “see” I’m not just referring to visual beauty but all forms of physical and non physical beauty. We can use all the senses we are blessed with, however many we have. It’s often said we have five senses. Some say we have more. And some people have less than five. But no matter how many we have, we can use them to bask in all the beauty they receive. Beauty of all forms can engage our senses.

But beauty isn’t just physical. Haven’t you ever just felt the beauty of something or someone or your own beauty or beautiful feelings? I can often feel beauty, not just with my senses but feel it deep within. It can’t even be explained in words. 

“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.” ~ Markus Zusak

There are many practical steps we can take to participate in this activity. We can use journals, calendars, arts & crafts, social media, lists, various outlets….

I focus on and see and feel so much beauty but this year I want to make it more intentional and even more conscious. 

One of my first steps to living in beauty will be better organizing my room. I am horribly disorganized in a physical way. My room is always a mess. I live with my mom, dad, and sister and my sister said my room is like a teenage boy’s room. Lol

I have food and candy wrappers around, clothes and books scattered around, soda cans, stuff just out of place. I disagree with a lot of people who say the condition of our room or house says who we are or a lot about who we are. Sorry but no my messy room will not tell you too much of who I really am within. All my room says about me is that I’m disorganized. Someone may interpret it as me being careless or apathetic or emotionally imbalanced but I’m not, I’m just a slob is all. Lol 

In elementary school, I loved school and my schoolbooks and class but my desk was one of the worst! I crumpled up paper and folders and just shoved them in my desk. I had broken crayons and pencils scattered about. ( I miss those desks now that I think about it!)

In high school, which I also loved, in eleventh grade English class, my teacher held up my folder and notebook which were overstuffed, falling apart, crumpled up, to the class as an example of what not to do. Lol Awkward! 

I have a beautiful mind and am passionate about the beauty of life and I love my books and things even though they are thrown around.

But it’s definitely more pleasant to walk into a beautiful room. Especially if we are someone who struggles with depression. 

My disorganization doesn’t depress me but organization and a beautiful room can be uplifting to someone who is in an episode already. And when we’re already deeply depressed, I’m sure clutter and things out of place, can drag us down a bit more. 

So I plan on organizing and beautifying my room completely! Not just clearing the junk but setting out more pretty things that stimulate the senses and emotions in a positive way, candles, knick knacks, decorations, flowers, pretty colors….  There’s also things I want to get rid of because they contribute to not just taking up space they aren’t worth but they contribute to negative energy or are somewhat draining to me.  

One thing I have laying around my room are celebrity gossip magazines. Eww. I do not read those. EVER! But my sister and me sometimes cut stuff out of magazines to glue into notebooks and stuff and we have a bunch of various kinds or magazines laying around the house. The one magazine I cannot stand to have near me is the celebrity gossip magazine. No thank you. I don’t think it’s ok to trash talk celebrities or stalk them or harass them at every street corner or air out their dirty laundry without them wanting us to, or make up and perpetuate lies about them just because they chose a job that comes with fame and fortune. They are not different than I am. I would never want gossip magazines or blogs or things about me and people constantly on my ass watching my every move then reporting it to the media or others. That would suck! Also, I do not judge people who read them. When I was young I used to read them myself. I used to try to sneak around in stores reading them without getting caught because we’re not supposed to read without buying. Sometimes they still catch my eye, rarely but still happens. I wasn’t horrible for getting into celebrity gossip. My sister loves celebrity gossip and my grandmom does. It’s just not my cup of tea anymore. I like stuff that others think is terrible to love. (like fiction horror stuff! And some people can’t stand horror books and movies/dvds just being near them like me with the magazines. It doesn’t mean they think less of me for loving it.)  

But that’s beside the point here anyway. My point is those magazines do not aid in my Beauty/one word challenge. They actually go against it. They don’t take up much space but they contribute to unpleasant feelings when I glance at them. I usually throw something on top of them so I don’t have to see them. But soon I will get rid of them completely! Things have an effect on our energy whether or not we fully or consciously realize it. Something that affects my energy or vibration a certain way may not have the same effect on others. It’s important to tune in and see how things affect us. Something that I find exhilarating(like being around lots of people, for example) may be life draining to someone else. It’s important to go deep within the self, pay attention, and see how things affect our energy. 

http://oneword365.com/

On the website (above) for the one word challenge they give seven ideas to effectively integrate our word into our everyday using a calendar. I probably won’t be using a calendar but I will be using a journal and put the date on each page, hopefully at least once a day. My handwriting is terrible though and it so frequently contributes to me giving up on journaling. I write like a 1st grader but worse. But as part of my beauty challenge I know I will find beauty even through my horrific handwriting. 

On the website they suggest a paper calendar or planner but also mention that most tips will work with a digital one. They also suggest maybe dedicating a specific planner or journal to our word, which I will be doing. 

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Here are their seven tips and my thoughts about them.

“1. Make a list of actions you can do daily, weekly or monthly that focus on your word and help you integrate it into your life. Then schedule them into your calendar.”

This is really good for staying motivated. I’m horrible with keeping up with things. I get so wrapped up into doing other things and then my goals get kicked to the curb. By scheduling them into each day, incorporating our word into our life each day, not only are we more likely to not give up on it but it will be more threaded throughout life each day, maybe having a deeper effect. 

“2. Collect quotes and sayings about your word and write them down in the daily or weekly section of your planner.”

This is one of my favorite ones because I love quotes & sayings & clichés! They are so powerful, quick, and uplifting! They are brief but say so much in just a few breaths. I think I will try to find a quote or song each day or week about beauty of some sort and write it in my beauty/one word journal as well as share here sometimes. 

The song I shared above, I’m Sensitive by Jewel is a great song about inner beauty and surrounding our own selves and each other in beauty. It’s about being kind to each other. It’s a beautiful song.

“3. Create a simple bookmark with your word. Take a piece of cardstock or scrapbook paper and write your word onto it with a sharpie. Punch a hole at the top and attach a ribbon. Use the bookmark in your planner to mark the current day.”

This sounds really fun! I think I will!

Maybe I’ll use these!

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(the little nose is my dog, Woody’s. Lol He was interested in my circles.)

I got them at Target a couple years ago but never really used them much.

“4. Write, doodle, draw or paint your word on your daily or weekly pages, or assign a fixed spot to write it down in your monthly overview.”

This is really good for maintaining our focus on our chosen word. Allow it to seep into even our daydreams and lazy thoughts. 

“5. Keep a record of things that happened relating to your word. Did it teach you something? Did it surprise you? Write it down!”

Yes, our experiences each day can strengthen our focus on our word and our determination to honor that word can help us stay positive in situations that may tempt us to succumb to unhappiness or other unpleasant feelings. I have an example already. I had a psychiatric appointment recently that  I did not feel much like going to just because. Sometimes I have to wait hours in the waiting room when my appointment should have been over in fifteen minutes. The people there are not always pleasant to interact with. The workers often treat us like we’re nothing just because we are financially struggling and mentally ill(at least I suspect that’s why – they don’t treat each other or the doctors in this manner, that I know of). They act in a very condescending, rude, abrupt manner, sometimes. Not all of them but enough of them. Not the nurse I talk to, she’s sweet, or the peer specialists who are also mental patients but very advanced in recovery. They are very friendly.  It’s a free mental health clinic and I am very blessed and thankful I have access to it. It’s not always a walk in the park having to deal with it but there are so many opportunities to find beauty like on my walk there, the air on my skin, things I can take pictures of, even glimpses of beauty seen in the people who act in rude ways(they still have good things about them!)…., the other patients I sometimes talk to, the people I meet on the way sometimes. Broken people attract other broken people. We often just sense each other. So I’m always finding someone new to talk to whether another patient or someone hanging around the clinic or neighborhood or at the busstop. There’s a couple busstops near the clinic. I usually walk the half hour instead since I love walking. It’s good to keep a list or book of our inner experiences of how this activity goes for us. It helps organize our thoughts, see what’s working well, what isn’t, and we’ll always have it to look back on. 

“6. Take a look at your to-do list: can you use your word as a guide to tackle your tasks? If you for example chose “Simplify” and you have 35 items on today’s list, you know what to do… :)”

Yeah this is similar to the above answer. Just incorporating it into our everyday tasks. This will have more of an impact. Our everyday chores, tasks, encounters are great opportunities to get in the habit of living up to our chosen word. And it can make these tasks more interesting if we incorporate our word’s concept into them.  In my case, it will be more mindfully finding beauty in each mundane encounter or situation, even the more unpleasant ones. Finding beauty or creating beauty in ugliness or dullness. Using our word to tackle tasks can stimulate our creativity. We can find new ways to integrate our word in each day, thread it throughout our everyday. Maybe your word is even creativity or creative and this activity itself honors that word. If your word is “calm” or “peace,” you can make it a point to do mindful exercises while doing each mundane task you have to do. If you are often late for work or somewhere else important, you probably aren’t very calm on your way there almost being late! That’s so distressing! So you can either start leaving earlier to be more calm or still be late but focus on breathing (and driving! If you drive to work or wherever it is) to calm your nerves.  Those are just some examples. 

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“7. Cross off or circle the dates in the calendar to indicate that your word has been present that day. A year-at-a-glance calendar can serve as a tracker for the whole year.”

Yeah this is really good for getting us in the habit of actively “using” our word each day. If you are a calendar user already (I’m not) then it’s probably even more effective than a journal keeping you on track because you already use it. With the journal, it’s a new activity I have to remember and find motivation to keep up with, challenging but fun! Also, marking the days that our word is present, we can keep track of and look back on our progress and better maintain our one word goal. 

While this activity can be practical like with journals and physical actions taken, it can also be an experience in our heads, just to honor our chosen word in our inner world, summoning feelings and images that relate to it.

I want to find beauty everywhere and share it with others through photos, quotes, blog posts, Facebook posts, conversations on and offline….I do this anyway but this year, I will be even more mindful. 

I will also live in love, compassion, kindness, inspiration….and other lovely words…but beauty is my word for this challenge. And beauty includes love and inspiration and other concepts. Compassion, kindness, & love are beautiful and when I engage in or feel them, I will also be honoring my chosen word, “Beauty.”

If you are also doing this challenge, I would love to know your word and/or how you plan to honor it each day! So let me know! You can write it in the comments here, write me an e-mail @ kimberlyjm52@gmail.com or write your own post on it and send me the link! I hope to think of some more creative ways to live in Beauty! ❤ 😀

Got any ideas? If you have anything to add, like creative ways we can incorporate the concept of our word into our everyday, let me know! I love knowing people's ideas! 

Even if you haven't chosen your word yet, you can now! Or whenever you want! I just decided to engage in this fun & inspiring activity a couple days ago!  And my mind is already even more in the habit of seeing beauty in mundane and unpleasant situations. It's never too late as long as we're alive!

😀

Here are some ideas I thought of: serenity, inspiration, love, patience, gratitude, peace, kindness, creativity, light, motivation, astute, organization, beauty, alive, truth, acceptance, wonder, awe, confidence, clarity, discernment, tranquility, play, playful, , humor, laughter, lighthearted, health, enthusiasm, positivity, optimism, forbearance, magnanimity, humbleness, humility, independence, joy, openness, receptive, passion, tolerance, bold, assertiveness, fierce, gentleness, nurture, strength, wisdom, tact, spirit, attitude, persistence, compassion, hope, Earth, oneness, heart, sky, fun, mindfulness, music, song, minimalism, simplicity, growth, happiness, zen, balance…

Maybe you want to choose a word that already resonates with you in a deep way or maybe you want it to be a bit more challenging and choose a word or concept you struggle with. Either way is fantastic!  

When we choose a word, we can still live all these other words too but our focus for the challenge will most directly be on the one we chose for it. There are so many, many creative ways we can come up with to live the word we choose. 

Check this out for more fun & inspiring ideas for this new year! They are alternatives to the new year resolutions. 

10 Alternatives to New Year’s Resolutions

Thank you!! 

Xoxo Kim 

Bloggers that Blog

Two great blogs here, both this one I’m reblogging & the one being promoted in this post! I love this attitude of wanting an active blogsphere, stepping outside of our own little world and wanting to support others! A great blogging community is one where we are all connected and engaged. I plan to get better with this and visit & promote more blogs than I have been! 😀