Tag Archive | life

We’re Planting Flowers in Hell

Jul9

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“She’d probably plant flowers in hell.” ~ Riderek (“summer girl”) 

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I saw this quote or lyrics recently and love it! It conveys the message that we can bring our own beauty and light even to places where there seems to be none. In dark, ugly, drab places, we can be a source of beauty and light and inspiration. It’s up to us to bring our own sunshine, our own flowers, our own stars, our own hope and love. There may not always be someone else around to provide that for us. But we can create our own, wherever we are, and send it out into the world. Whatever we want to see in the world that isn’t here, whatever we want to see more of, whatever kind of person we want to be around….let’s create and be that our own selves for others and for our selves. 

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The place where I found this quote or lyrics is  an instagram.com account. I don’t have an Instagram.com account but I can see a limited amount of content on some of the ones I come across. I find this one to be beautiful. I think he’s a writer/poet or lyricist or something.  His writing is grounded in hope and love and pain and kind of dark in a beautiful way. 

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I hope you are having a lovely day/night! And remember to plant your own flowers even in dark places. Let’s not wait for others to lavish love and light and beauty onto the world; let’s lead the way! ❤ 😀

Xoxo Kim ❤

You’ll Never Know <3

Jun29

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Recently my sister, my mom, and me watched The movie, Curly Sue, and at the end of that movie, the song sung by Ringo Starr, “You’ll Never Know,” is featured. What a lovely song!

I like the tune, pace and feel of it and the message is so wise. I find it inspiring and a great reminder to accept life as it is, value it for the unpredictable gift that it is. We never know what will happen. We can be having an amazing day then out of nowhere be struck by a terrible tragedy but we can be having a day that feels so wrong, so devastating, so broken then out of nowhere a wonderful surprise comes along to lift us up, inspire us, to heal us.

“Life goes on
no one gets rehearsal
life goes on
through everyday reversal 
with every dawn everyday is full of chances 
to find some good before it’s gone…” 

Things are fleeting. Life itself is fleeting. When things are going great, they won’t be forever. At any second, things can come crashing down on top of us. While this is unpleasant, we can use this knowledge to our advantage. We can’t always make bad things not happen but we can seize and embrace the good, celebrate it while it’s here. But not get overly attached. Know that it won’t always be this way. Everything ends. Then when we lose something good, we won’t be as unhappy and ungrateful because we meditate upon the fact that everything eventually comes to an end.
When we know what we have while we have it, when we appreciate it to the fullest, we have less regrets and less sadness when it leaves us. So let’s embrace what we have while we have it. 

And when things are not going well, know it won’t always be this bad. 
None of us get to prepare for all of life, we are all susceptible to surprises, both pleasant and not.

But life keeps going on. 

And we have chances to get better and better. 

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“you’ll never know which way a day is gonna take you
there’s always some surprise that comes along to shake you
you’ll never see exactly where the road will lead you
and when it comes to love you gamble when you need to
you’ll maybe break your heart on one unlucky throw
but then again, you’ll never know”

I love this message about taking chances. It’s worth it to reach out in love even if we may not receive love back. First of all, you never know, maybe the love will be returned. And if not, at least you have love in you and courage to lavish it onto the world or someone. That’s really all that matters!  What we give. Not what we get. 

It’s worth it to take the risks.

If you make an attempt, you may or may not succeed how you would like to but if you don’t take the chance you will never succeed how you want.

Try it and if it doesn’t work out, at least you’ll have the experience, life lessons, strength…and at least you tried. You won’t have to keep thinking “what if….?”

Instead of viewing the uncertainty and fleeting-ness of life in a negative light and allowing it to provoke anxiety in us, we can see it in a thrilling way, be exhilarated and curious, see the beauty in it. Life is what we make it, so let’s make it beautiful! 

😀 ❤

Here is a video to the song:

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Much0 l0ve to you! 😀

xoxo Kim ❤

Cherish the love, cherish the life

Jun28

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(this isn’t my photo – I dont know the source but it sure is funny!)

Recently, I realized how much I really do love Summer. The Summer season has the potential to be quite beautiful where I am. I often say it’s my least favorite season. It is. But I also say that I love all four seasons. All four are lovely and I am blessed to live in a place where we experience the diversity of all the seasons and the gifts they bring.

But often, when I think of Summer, I want to grimace. For the last couple of days it has been very beautiful summer weather. Hot but definitely not scorching. Actually, yesterday was really cool and very rainy and stormy. Today is perfect too. Not rainy. Hot but not overwhelming.

Then it hit me. This is perfect. Summer would be perfect if there were not as many heatwaves. It’s not hot weather I don’t like, it’s unbearably hot weather like 100 degrees heatwaves over and over to where even good commercial air conditioners don’t even seem to be working, that I don’t like much.

But I wouldn’t get rid of the heatwaves even if I could. Because a lot of people do like them. And it’s not all about me. And also Because I like diversity and it’s good to have all kinds of weather. Also, I love the way it feels to have cold showers and put on my pj shorts in the middle of a heatwave! Lol

So yeah, they are good for some things!

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I like to have tea at work. I carry tea bags, powdered cream, and a box or cup of sugar everywhere with me. Lol

But today I forgot my tea and stuff! But I saw we have hot chocolate at work. We usually don’t get that until the Fall but we have a big box. So I had some of that since I forgot my tea. I started to feel giddy and thrilled because in my head it felt like October.

Every year when it gets cooler, we sell hot chocolate and today as I was getting ready to drink it, it felt like that Fall feeling, especially because it was kind of breezy/cool in the morning and last night. The weather was definitely not Fall-like weather but just cool summer air. But it felt like Autumn in my mind. I started dreaming of Fall and all the lovely gems it brings!

But then I stopped myself and decided to instead cherish right now and all the blessings Summer brings. It’s good to look forward to and plan for things but it’s also good to be mindful and appreciative of right now and all of the joys surrounding us. Fall will be here before we know it. This moment will never occur again. Let’s embrace it.

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(me standing on the corner in the rain)

I’m often extremely happy to be right where I am, right here, right now. I’m naturally this way to a certain degree but with practice I’m much better at it now. Often, no matter what my situation is, even painful, I can still be thankful I’m right here, right now, and see the beauty around me. I almost never felt this way walking in 100 degree weather, extremely thirsty and feeling like I’m about to fall unconscious of heatstroke or dehydration. I would keep thinking “Winter! Where are you?!” or “this sucks!!!” but now I am very mindful of the gentle breeze that seems to lovingly brush against  my cheeks and the vibrant green leaves hanging off the tree branches and the blue, blue sky above me, twinkling in my blue, blue eyes. And I’m so thankful for right here, right now. I just tune into the moment. It often comes naturally now but if not, I can often summon that mindful gratitude. If I had a choice I would never choose being out in 100 degree weather dying of thirst and heat but since I don’t have the choice, I cherish it. It’s fantastic to live, to love this way.

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If we live too much in the future or the long ago, we miss out on the gift of the present.

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(not my photo)

I love reading quotes, blogs, and books about mindfulness as reminders and ways to keep up the practice of appreciative living right now.

Here are some of my favorite quotes relating to the topic of mindfulness, Zen, or appreciative living.

“The only Zen you find on the tops of mountains is the Zen you bring up there.” ~ Robert Pirsig

“Zen teaches nothing; it merely enables us to wake up and become aware. It does not teach, it points.” ~ D.T. Suzuki

“Zen is simply a voice crying, ‘Wake up! Wake up!'” ~ Maha Sthavira Sangharakshita

“The quieter you become the more you can hear.” ~ Baba Ram Dass

“If you have a glass full of liquid you can discourse forever on its qualities, discuss whether it is cold, warm, whether it is really and truly composed of H2O, or mineral water, or saki. Zazen is drinking it.” ~ Taisen Deshimaru

“Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).” – James Baraz

“The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.” – Henry Miller

“When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.”

“If you clean the floor with love, you have given the world an invisible painting.” – Osho
“To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour.” – William Blake

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

“Paradise is not a place; it’s a state of consciousness.”

I hope you are having a wonderful day/night!

Xoxo Kim

The Whole Uni-verse

Jun26

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This is my universe necklace! I got it on Amazon for one dollar! Lol no tax, no shipping cost! Just one dollar! And the quality is really good! I wasn’t expecting it to be. Even if it turned out to just be a cheap piece of plastic, you can’t really go wrong with one dollar! Lol But it’s thick but not too heavy and not uncomfortable. And it’s very beautiful with vibrant colors! 

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I love cheap, glitzy looking jewelry and already got a few things off of amazon.com for one dollar or less that turned out way better than I thought. But this isn’t a product review post.

I just want to share a quote attributed to Rumi.

“Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you.” ~ attributed to Rumi

And a line in LeeAnn Womack’s song, “I hope you dance.”

“I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean.”

Here’s a video for the song:

Mobile: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DmBSGlXqC4Q

Desktop: https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=DmBSGlXqC4Q

I never understood this line. Often we think of being or feeling “small” as something not good. While the whole song resonates with me, I have often had difficulty interpreting/analyzing this line. I have always known it means something positive since it’s in this song.

Now I understand it means that it’s a good thing to know, to feel that there is something bigger than us in this life. We aren’t the center or only thing in the world and our problems are all so small next to the vastness of the universe and the unknown. There is so much around us that we don’t even know exists or don’t understand the nature of. It’s a beautiful concept.

When we have a problem, feel lonely, stressed or any kind of pain and it feels overwhelming or unbearable or like it’s the end of the world, we can remember that the uni-verse is so much bigger than us and our problems even when the problems seem insurmountable. There’s something out there, something within, bigger and better than what we feel and know right now.

The sun always shines, the flowers always grow, the moon and the stars always light up the darkness. There are secrets in the wind we don’t know, sweet symphonies caressing our skin, beauty we haven’t yet discovered…

It’s a positive thing to know I’m not the center of the world, to know how small I am next to everything unknown and not understood.

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It’s not a concept meant to invalidate the pain or reduce the worth of us, it’s a concept that inspires and empowers. It’s good to have something to look up to.

My universe necklace reminds me of this and Rumi’s quote and LeeAnn Womack’s song.

The whole uni-verse is within us, around us, above us. We are part of it, a small but beautiful part.

I’m wishing you all the love and beauty in our uni-verse! ❤

xoxo Kim

p.s. oh yes and look! It looks like I got this whole blog thing working even without the app! If you have no clue what I'm referring to, check out my last post! I deleted my wordpress app because it was being slow and now cannot retrieve it. Then without it I was having problems posting but looks like I got it down, doesn't it?! So long, wordpress app, seems I don't need you after all! ;-D ❤

Always look at the bright side of life

Jun25

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~”Hate has four letters. So does love.
Enemies has seven letters. So does friends.
Lying has five letters. So does truth.
Hurt has four letters. So does heal.”~
“Transform every negative energy into positive energy. It’s your perception that makes the difference.”
Yesterday, something terrible happened(or maybe I’m just being dramatic?)! I deleted my WordPress app on purpose because it wasn’t working for a couple days and I thought maybe deleting it then putting it back on would get it a better connection. But when I went to reinstall it, I saw that it’s no longer available for BlackBerry! And then I saw that my post did go through after I deleted it! So it was working just not good but now that I deleted it I can’t get it back. Imagine my horror and regret! Lol
The blog is a significant part of me. It’s how I mostly share my experiences, life lessons learned, photos, try to uplift or inspire people…
I don’t post everyday, I even sometimes go weeks without posting but I do post a couple posts each month, at least. But in the three years I had the blog, I can’t remember a day not preparing drafts to eventually post. Every single day I’m writing or planning blog posts even when I don’t publish them yet. Everything I learn, I often think about how I can prepare it to post here, every song, every book that inspires me. Every season. I am so inspired to post here. To help or inspire  others.
On the computer I have, there’s some pop up that won’t let me use WordPress.com and I like using my phone better anyway and on my phone it’s nearly impossible without the app. Posting text content is easy, it’s the photos it won’t let me post without a lot of trouble.
I felt a kind of despair yesterday briefly off and on in waves. Going out of my head. But Buddha’s wisdom and light keeps me going! Buddha teaches about non attachment and being blissful no matter what. Buddha would never sink to despair over technology problems or even something as tragic as someone dying or severe physical pain.
He teaches that it’s ok to have material things, friends, family…but to not be dependent on any of it for our happiness or wellbeing. To know and accept that everything we have and everyone we meet, will eventually end somehow. And he teaches us to be the best we can be so we can help all other living beings be more happy and peaceful.
And I draw on his wisdom and strength to lift me and help me help others in any way I can.
You don’t have to be a Buddhist to benefit by his wisdom.
And I am reminded of the above quote. For every negative thing there’s something positive, something to learn. Some way to use the experience to help someone else in some way. We can take the negative energy and put a positive spin on it.
This sucks!
But oh well, it’s done now!
I thought of my WordPress app and how blessed I always felt to have it but it did contribute to me wanting to pull out my hair on occasion! Thing was annoying! It was slow and would post multiple of the same letters in words and was so hard to deal with. And it took up much space on my phone. Sometimes half of my post wouldn’t show up after I hit publish. It wouldn’t let me change the date when it got it wrong.  This is the main reason I did not post as much as I would like to. It did get the job done well in the end though and I miss it now. I miss it terribly. I miss the layout and seeing the little icon on my phone. The colors which I thought were kind of on the boring side.  I miss everything about it and I would take that distress and annoyance it brought me, any day if I could just have it back. I would prefer the annoyances and still have the app. But that’s not the case. I don’t have it and so I will be thankful for the positive things my loss brings with it. Another positive thing – now I have more space on my phone. I would prefer to have less space and have the app but since I can’t have it, I can still celebrate having more storage space!
I can still post here but maybe not many pictures because it seems it only let’s me post one. Pictures make blog posts better I think, especially long blog posts, and I love posting my random inspiration posts with all the photos! Maybe I’ll find a way! I guess if you really, really want something, you let nothing stand in the way.
This also reminds me of Johnathan Huie’s Zero based gratitude idea where instead of comparing what we have to what we had when we had more, we can just be thankful now for everything. Even if we have so much less than we previously had. Who cares what we had and lost? When it’s gone it’s gone.
We can learn and move forward.
I posted about this concept here:
And here is Mr. Huie’s essay:
Also here’s a good song meant to be funny but with a sweet little message about looking on the bright side of life always, no matter how much it sucks.
Mobile:
Desktop:
The singer Monty Python is a comedian and I read he makes fun of religion. I don’t know much about him or his jokes or if they are vicious jokes or just stupid ones and I don’t necessarily agree with all his views or anything.  I’m just promoting his light attitude about looking on the positive side. “Laugh and smile and dance and sing…” he sings. The singer even goes all the way as to encourage us, when we’re dying, to think life is a piece of shit anyway! Lol “Life’s a piece of shit when you look at it…” that way you won’t care so much about dying! Lmao I don’t view life as shit but I hear his message loud & clear!
Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the light side of life.
And there IS a bright side.
Always.
And if not, you can create one.
I hope your night/day is a good one!
❤
Xoxo Kim

Random Inspiration {photos, thoughts, & quotes!!}

Jun24

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Here are some of my pictures and some of my opinions on things! And some quotes on happiness!  I shared a lot of these pics and thoughts on Facebook and photobucket already a couple weeks ago.
And a lot of these pictures I took yesterday. I tried posting this yesterday and it wouldn’t show up. So when something says “today” in this post, it was yesterday. 😀  

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This is me under a bridge on the street I live on. Someone painted my name on the wall and dotted it with a heart! I’m almost certain it’s not intended for me but for some other girl who shares my name. Lol It says some name that I can’t comprehend loves Kim. I tried to get a picture of the whole thing but it
did not turn out good!

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This pic may come off as sensual or sexual and that’s ok but that wasn’t my intention. I so frequently write about how I love to capture the “simple joys of life” especially water droplets, raindrops, moisture, things of that sort. I was walking up a street one day when an air conditioner dripped on me. Lol It landed right on my boob and I found it funny and also very beautiful. I think a woman’s body is beautiful, every part and I’m not referring to a sexual way. Even the parts of the body that are sexual or considered to be, are beautiful in an aesthetic way and just for what the body does for us, let’s us live, love, and experience. I love boobs just as much as the next man. Lol unlike people who are romantically attracted to women, I’m not turned on by them in a sexual way but I do find them beautiful and love artistic pics or representations of them. And any part of a woman’s body. And not in a way that is objectifying. I know a woman is much much more than her body. It’s great to celebrate a woman’s beauty, even the physical. It’s not necessarily shallow or objectifying. Right away it’s often considered objectification if a woman’s body is celebrated for her beauty or if certain clothes are worn or certain body parts played up or displayed. Objectification is not good, imo, but it’s not always objectifying. And it’s not always sexual or shallow. I don’t care how people interpret this picture of me. I think the creator/artist creates then it’s up to the viewer to interpret. I’m just describing my experience and opinions. There’s nothing on the entire planet or anywhere in the world more beautiful than a woman. And I want to celebrate, honor, and cherish all of our beauty. 

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This is just weird. I don’t even know. I just felt the urge to hold up a glass coca Cola bottle to my eyeball and take a pic through the bottom of the bottle. Can you say, creepy?!

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I see/hear a lot of people bragging that their photos on social media have “no filters.” That’s great if people like to just put the original copy on but there’s nothing wrong with editing and photo effects. They are tools to be creative. There’s so many amazing apps and effects to give pictures a certain feel or play up the colors or concepts. I don’t edit all mine but it’s usually more fun to play with the photos than just snapping a pic and sharing. Some people think it’s deceiving to edit photos but it’s not unless we try acting like they aren’t edited and they are and look realistic. I have edited photos of sunsets before, for example, and they look very beautiful and more vibrant than the original but it’s not obvious they’re edited. In that case I state that they are edited, usually. I never try to be deceiving. If someone asks me I will tell the truth. It’s nothing to conceal. It takes skills to edit a photo and make it beautiful. And I want to get better and better. But usually I think we can tell when a photo is edited and don’t have to always say it, especially when it’s overedited or dramatically edited. Often non edited photos are boring looking. Not always but often and it’s just my opinion of course. On my photobucket account I usually share all of the originals and edited versions. I like all my pictures and want to save/share them all. Even professional photographers often edit their own pictures. 

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This is me waiting for a bus today which never came. It wasn’t coming because of construction work and I had to walk home which took like over an hour and it was 100 degrees out and my head was throbbing and my mouth was completely dry. But I got quite a few lovely photos of today! I got lost walking home and had no idea what to do. I had no phone service or anything but I saw the Dialysis and
organ donation, gift of life buildings
and then found my way because I always see how my dad drives home when we’re that way. It reminds me of this quote “don’t take your organs to heaven, heaven knows we need them here.” It’s so true. I would love to donate one of my kidneys if I could, While I’m living, to someone who needs one, doesn’t matter if I know the person or not. I know of the risks involved but it’s still worth it. I know kidney implants work better or more likely to not reject when the donor is living. Anyway, it’s a beautiful building and I get pics of it sometimes but did not get one today. A couple of sweet people at the busstop were kind enough to tell the others who kept walking up that it’s not coming. I stayed for a while to tell people so they wouldn’t be stuck waiting in 100 degrees weather forever. There should be a sign up so people kno

And I saw this at the busstop which was not always there:

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It shows that someone cares to help people even those they don’t know. I’m not sure who the people are responsible for having the sign here but it’s an act of love to reach out to the suffering and just seeing it is heartwarming and can help change someone’s mind or uplift someone.

There’s always hope and always, always someone who cares or would care if the person met you!

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I found this adorable little kritter at work recently! I think he’s a Junebug, maybe. He was on the sink and struggling to get up so I picked him up and set him on the edge and he was cleaning his little red face with his legs! Licking his legs then rubbing them on his face. It was the cutest thing! He’s much more beautiful than he looks in this picture. Lol He wasn’t even afraid of me or anything. They usually aren’t. He loved walking on me and has the cutest little eyes. I put him out in the grass and when I was about to stand up to go back inside I still felt like he was walking on me. Then I looked and he was! Lol He got back on! Poor thing did not want to leave me. But then he was happy when I put him on a little flower thing under a tree. And I love my veins! Little blue lines of life!

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~ When you’re under a dark & shady tree, don’t forget to see the sun shining through the branches.~

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Don’t put the key to happiness in someone else’s pocket. ~Author Unknown

Even if happiness forgets you a little bit, never completely forget about it. ~Jacques Prévert

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Today a man and little lady were walking by as I was and the lady said to the man “hey did you ever see the movie ‘Hocus Pocus?'” lol I was delighted, I love that movie! You can see the man and little lady with their backs turned in This pic! I took this pic because I just recently learned of a flower called “blue dicks!” lol And as I was lost I saw these blue flowers and thought to myself “hey look there’s Blue Dicks!” I don’t know if they’re really blue dicks but they sure are blue. 😀

It’s the little things that make the world go round! Lol ;-D 

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The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain

If only we’d stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time. ~Edith Wharton 

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This is me with no makeup after days of almost no sleep because I was obsessed with a book I was reading, which I wrote about, called After the Cure, and couldn’t put it down or stop thinking about it. Lol Sometimes I can’t sleep because of happy thoughts and too much gratitude and I just want to get up and dance and blast happy songs all night and read every book I have. Then I pay for it the next day with dark circles around my eyes and achy muscles and things! Oh well…at least it’s because of happy things!!

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IN  loving memory of my friend/coworker, Diane who died on 2/14/2015 of a heart attack. She was beautiful and caring about everyone. Just like me, she LOVED Coca Cola! It’s all we would drink, we would be guzzling it up all day long at work! Lol Last night I found this at work and I drank it for her. I know she would love it. Seeing it brought me pain but more joy than pain. I love Diane and keep her always in my heart. 

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” ~ attributed to Winnie the Pooh! 😀

Much love to you tonight & always. 

Xoxo Kim

Simple treasures <3

Jun22

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I’m a big fan of acknowledging and deeply appreciating the simple joys of living. Most of which cost no money or very little money, things we all have access to if only we look a certain way. There are different depths of mindfulness, just seeing all the way to deep appreciation and awareness.  I’m definitely not against certain kinds of materialism to a certain extent! Nothing wrong with vacations and big shopping sprees and big celebrations and things! But there’s so many “little” things surrounding us right now that we can tap into at any point and be filled with warmth and gratitude. Let’s cherish them.  Here’s my list!  When sunlight or sunsets reflect off of cars, signs, or buildings or puddles or anything  Waking up in the early morning and hearing birds chirping cheerfully  Falling asleep to a heavy rainstorm  The perfect cup of coffee or tea When an illness or pain ends and the feeling of the old self reappears and is stronger than ever Meeting someone and experiencing a deep “soul” connection The first glistening snowfall of the season  The first flowers blossoming in the beginning of Spring  Hearing an old forgotten song  The beginning of Fall when the crunchy leaves cover the streets and the scents of October fill the air Late Autumn when it’s almost Winter & the holiday season and my inspiration runs deep Crickets singing on a warm Summer night  Laying in bed at night reading a mystery book

my bones (hipbones, collarbone, neck bones…) and the way they delicately poke through my skin

my heartbeat ❤

image Cobblestone streets  Hugs Helping someone  Waking up with dogs sleeping all around me in bed Walking in a light rainfall on a cool night – it’s a feeling of sweet liberation  The first cool nights of the season  The way my long hair feels against my lower back  Receiving a sweet message by someone I know or someone I never met before then  Random acts of kindness  image Any act of kindness, random or not Feeling a general sense of deep inspiration  Hugging someone I just met  When a headache finally ends  The feeling of early morning  Cool gray days

image Warm and sunny afternoons surrounded by trees and green and flowers  Beautiful parks image Being surrounded by lots of people  Feeling beautiful  Finding an inspiring quote or song that completely resonates with me Beautiful people  When I’m not wearing makeup and think I look even better than when I have my face made up!  A bright blue sky with fluffy white clouds Seeing seagulls flying through the sky A starry starry night 

image A big, bright full moon  Honeybees on bright colored flowers Warm fluffy blankets  The warmth of clothes just out of a dryer The holiday season  Christmas songs  Feeling that there’s nowhere else I would rather be than right here right now, wherever it may be, including at work!  image Unexpected rain Talking to someone who completely understands what I’m saying  Philadelphia skyscrapers  image Red dresses Anything pink Warm pj’s  Walking into an air conditioned room after stepping out of 100 degree weather outside  The warmth of a hot drink flowing through the whole body on a cool/cold day Philosophy text books  Kindle app image Free Kindle books! (many people think if they are free they must suck or be very short books but it’s not necessarily true! I got free ones before with 400 pages and very good ones! Give them a chance! ;-D )  The feeling of stepping out of an air conditioned room into a hot, sunny, Summer day. I love the scent of the Summer heat and the feel of the blanket of heat enveloping me the first few seconds I step into it. The sound of construction work outside off in the distance. Yes, I love this! I just love the sounds of the city.  Shadows on the ground.  Warm puppy kissies. The warm smell of doggy fur.  Laughing til it hurts. Street lamps image City lights  Flowers image Seeing people sitting under umbrellas outside of restaurants on Spring & Summer days sipping pretty tropical looking drinks out of delicate looking glasses.  Simple, light but fun conversations with friends  Girls in stilettos  When I’m laying in bed and my long hair touches the floor  Abandoned houses  Stop signs  Street signs Squirrels running up the trees or eating  Realizing I like something I never used to like. Black & white photography for example, and flat shoes and cheese fries with ketchup. Waking up to rain image Vintage looking objects and photos  Stories that take place long long ago Reminiscing about pleasant things  The way candy always tastes better in the cold weather  Meeting/knowing someone who is overly compassionate. We can never have too much love! The fragrances of winter & fall – pumpkin, cinnamon, pine, apple, peppermint… Tropical candles lit in Spring & Summer Moneystealers image Fall in Philadelphia  Philadelphia any season  image (he was on a wall in my house – so soft & fuzzy. I rescued him after my sister found him. ) The Eastern State Penitentiary /haunted attraction  SEPTA busses, trolleys, and trains  Everyday objects  Insects image The way lights streams through a door to a dark room when the door is slightly open. Sometimes I leave a light off just to see it. My struggle with depression and with severe physical pain inspire me to more deeply acknowledge and appreciate and realize these simple treasures. When I’m in severe pain of any kind, beautiful things seem to jump out at me more, reminding me that I “can’t have” or “don’t deserve” them and this inspires me to notice them more when I’m not in severe pain. And I learned to seize them no matter how much pain I’m in. But we can learn to bask in and deeply appreciate the simple treasures even without the pain. I think most of us have little things we love but may not always be mindful of them or just how much we love the beauty of them. Let’s stop. And mindfully cherish those things all around us each and every day. One way I express my love and perception of the simple joys, is taking pictures and often editing them to exaggerate or magnify the small details to make them stand out.   We often overlook reflections, shadows, mundane things….in person but in photos they stand out more.  What simple treasures do you cherish even if you never realized just how much you love them? And how can you express your appreciation? Photography? Writing? Painting? Drawing? Let’s get creative! Let’s live with intention. 😀 Xoxo Kim

The whole world is a garden <3

Jun9

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” If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.” ~ Frances Hodgson Burnett

Everywhere we look, we can find something beautiful even in the ugliness, the darkness, the gray…

It’s up to us to look and find when it doesn’t easily jump out at us.

I hope you are having a beautiful day/night!

Xoxo Kim

Insidious Chapter 3 {Love & Hope} <3

Jun8

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“I choose to FIGHT BACK! I choose to RISE, not fall! I choose to LIVE, not die! And I know, I know that what’s within me is also WITHIN YOU.” (Mayor Pappas, “City Hall” movie quote)

Last night I saw the movie Insidious chapter 3. I love the Insidious movies! They are seriously the creepiest movies I ever saw! And I’m not a believer in ghosts but hell if they don’t creep me out!  

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I absolutely love Insidious Chapter 3. It’s creepy, it’s dark, it’s distressing and thrilling. But that’s not why I love it so.

There are a few lessons to be learned, for some people. I don’t know if the writer/s intended to convey these subtle messages or I’m just really reading into the movie and seeing messages that are accidental. 

Please don’t read here any further if you intend to watch the movie and haven’t seen it yet, because there will definitely be spoilers here!

Click it off and come back later to read this, please! I’m not trying to ruin any surprises! 

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Spoiler alert
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So here goes :

First a brief overview of the movie, just the gist of it.

There is more than just our world of the living. There are spiritual worlds full of dead people who once lived, and spirits who aren’t all good. Some are good but some are vicious and want to kill the living people. Certain living people can enter the spirit worlds and it’s possible that they can get trapped there or that spirits can follow them back into our world and haunt them.  

Some spirits are good and want to hurt no one. 

Some of the spirits want life so they try to abduct the living people and inhabit their bodies.  So they can live again on Earth.

Some spirits do not want light and life, they want to remain in their dark hell but take innocent people back with them. 

These are the worst of the worst. 

The young girl in the movie is a victim of something like this. Her mom recently died of cancer and the girl tries to contact her mom but she summons some other spirit accidentally. An evil one. A dead man wants her soul and manages to steal half of it and tries to steal the other half and trap her in his world of hell.
He doesn’t want life like some dead people do. He wants to remain in his hellish world but trap the girl with him. A psychic lady tries to help her.

This psychic lady’s husband died by suicide a year earlier and she’s real messed up over it and doesn’t want anyone else to suffer or die or lose anyone.

The lady has the gift of contacting dead people but one day she entered the dark spirit world and a woman followed her back threatening to kill her if she ever tries contacting the dead again and this scares the psychic lady and she gives up using her gift to help others.

Then she talks to an old friend who inspires her and encourages her to keep doing what she does even with the fear and threats hanging over her. He reminds her that what she does helps other people and she is strong enough to keep going even with the pain and fear. There’s always someone to help, someone who needs her. And it’s worth the risks and the fear and pain. 

He reminds her of her strength and that she has a big advantage over the spirits.

She has life.

And she is strong enough to stay alive and give all she has to the world. 

She can choose to rise and not fall, to live and not die. 

She can choose to conquer the darkness and demons. 

So the lady is inspired. 

She keeps going. 

Also, the man reminds her that she is much more than just one thing, more than just her gift. If she stops using her gift, she is still her, still someone.  

The psychic lady leaves her own body to enter the dark spirit world and find the other half of the young girl’s soul and bring it back to her body. The dead man is desperately trying to steal the other half. The young girl’s body will die if he gets the other half and her soul will suffer indefinitely if he gets it.

The girl appears to be unconscious while her dad, the psychic lady, and two men are surrounding her desperately attempting to keep her alive. They are pleading with her to pull back, to not give in to the dark, to stay alive.

The psychic lady’s body is there but her astral body or soul is in the dark spirit world to retrieve the other half of the soul. It’s dangerous for the psychic lady because she can be killed doing this. 

They tell the young girl that she doesn’t belong there in that dark spirit world, she belongs on Earth. She belongs in her body. She’s not ready to die. They want her to be strong and choose life.  To not give into the dark force pulling on her. To give into the life force pulling her back. 

While the psychic lady is in that dark world, she sees her husband there and she is overjoyed. But he tells her he needs her there with him and wants her to die and join him so they can be together again. 

This is how she realizes it’s not really her husband because her husband isn’t selfish enough to want her to end her own life just to join him.  She’s broken and devastated over her husband’s death but she knows she doesn’t want to die and belongs here on Earth. She chooses life and attacks the evil spirit pretending to be her husband. 

I find these scenes to be so comforting and inspiring because they are so life affirming. They show us that we are supposed to live, to not give up even when it’s hard. Life here on Earth is a gift and we belong right here even if we feel a pull to give up and die. Even when it seems we lose all hope, that it’s easier to give in and give up, we must keep going.  I felt this movie so deeply, I felt that it speaks to me as I was in that dark theatre watching with my family. It is an entertaining movie but I feel so much more.  

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I struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts and urges. Not as much as I used to but I still struggle hard. Even when I’m not having a full blown episode, I can still experience symptoms. Some days I’m very happy and filled with genuine joy then out of nowhere I can be struck with depression and suicidal urges that end as quickly as they begin. I can be depressed and suicidal for just a few minutes or hours and those minutes and hours can feel like eternity when they are occurring. 
I can be happy and not depressed for months then five minutes of depression can make it feel like my whole life is nothing, worthless, despair and I can come close to ending it all. Then that fast the depression can end. 

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The week and month long episodes aren’t as frequent anymore and the general depression in the middle of each severe episode isn’t with me anymore. 
But I still have the depressive condition. 
I don’t know why I have this. 
I think it’s just fucked up brain chemistry. It can be triggered by environmental factors or certain thoughts but not always.
Sometimes the more I try to understand why, it just seems the more suicidal I become.

Sometimes I really think I’m going to give in and end my life when it all feels so hopeless. 
I can feel the darkness pulling at me and if I pay close attention, I can also often feel the light and life pulling back. The choice is mine.

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Sometimes my suicidal contemplation is so frequent, so routine, it’s just as much a part of my everyday as deciding what to wear, what to drink, where to go, what to read, brushing my teeth, getting a shower….But it always ends again. I’m constantly finding little gems of hope and inspiration to keep me going and share with others. I know there’s people just like me and I don’t want them to give into the horrible suicidal urges.  

There’s always something to live for, someone to help, to inspire, to love whether the person is a stranger or family or friend, an animal, an insect…let’s summon all our love and keep going, lavish all that love onto the whole world. Even when it’s scary. Even when it hurts. Even when we have to take risks.

We have life. Life is hope.  

Let’s love whoever is around to be loved and let our light permeate the world around us. 

Let’s not give into the darkness. Always reach for the light. We belong here, in the light and life of the Earth. Let’s put as much loving energy we can out into the uni-verse. 

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Sometimes when I’m watching ghost movies, such as this one and the movie “Pulse,” I wonder if they are really about depression and not just all about ghosts and stuff. 

I am all that I am because of my struggle with depression and my quest for healing and my endless journey each day. It inspires me. I am much better than I used to be. It may never be cured but I’m not depressed constantly anymore. I’m often very happy now.

I can see the blessing that my experience with depression is. If we look closely, feel closely, listen closely, we can see little gifts throughout the darkness. Little glimmers of light.

I want to be the best me I can be not for myself but for every living thing I encounter. 

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Whether or not you have depression, I think you can benefit by this message to keep going when you feel like giving up. Whatever you want to give up on because of fear or pain, just keep going. It may be your life, your job, a certain activity, anything….if it’s your true passion don’t give up on it just because of fear or pain. Keep going and help and inspire anyone you can along the way. 

“Keep loving….gotta keep the light on through dark & despair..” ~ Nimo Patel 

❤

I hope you are having a beautiful day or night! 

Much love to you always.

Xoxo Kim

Free Hug Day post (finally!!) {universal love} <3

May28

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~ Surrender to universal love.~ ❤

Hello sweethearts!! 

On May 3rd I participated in free hug day, which I loved!! It was a beautiful sunny, warm Spring day in LOVE park, here in the wonderful Philadelphia!

Unfortunately my phone doesn’t work well and I did not have access and still do not have access to all my pics! I couldn’t even send my pictures to the Positive Focus Org like I planned! But at least I participated and attempted to bring a little bit of sunlight into the lives of others. And I do have some pictures to share! 

I’m very shy so it took serious COURAGE to stand there in the middle of a park with a sign! Alone! 
I wanted so badly for friends or family members to participate with me but no one would.  

And even if you’re not shy, it still probably takes courage to draw attention to yourself like that! Especially if you’re alone, probably. 
I think we often tend to find more courage in groups but sometimes we just have to go it alone and be brave anyway.

I feel very outgoing in my head but unlike a lot of people, I’m often too shy to act on it. I’m much better with this than when I was young though. It’s not anxiety or low self esteem. I can never explain it in words when people ask.
I’m just a shy girl. Definitely not introverted though. Nothing wrong with being introverted, I’m just not. I often feel most uplifted and energized around people. And it doesn’t ever drain me to where I need to rest after being around lots of people.  

At one point I really thought I couldn’t go through with it but I pushed through the extreme shyness, awkwardness, fluctuating depression, and grief (over the loss of my coworker/friend), and I did what I intended! I stood in the center of a park and I walked around with a sign welcoming free hugs!
Whenever I felt I couldn’t go on, I reminded myself that it has the potential to help someone and it’s displaying a kind message. And I kept going. 

Whenever I am afraid or too shy, depressed, or too overwhelmed in grief to do something I want to do, I will remember those first moments in LOVE park and I will go ahead. I will let LOVE prevail over any less pleasant emotions or thoughts. And I hope you will too. I am right by your side cheering for you, no matter who you are or where you are, even if only in “spirit.” That’s why I share my stories and experiences, to help people empower themselves. So speak even when your voice shakes, reach out even when your hands tremble, share your story even when your heart races, and love even when you risk not being loved back. It’s all worth it. 

“When it comes to love, you gamble when you need to.” ~ Ringo Starr

The purpose of global Free Hug Days is to spread a message of love & kindness and show that EVERY life matters. Whether we are financially rich or poor, educated well or not, homeless or live in a beautiful house, single, taken, married, young, old, religious, theist, atheist, have a family/friends or are on our own, immigrant, citizen, Liberal, Conservative, apolitical or other, generous or greedy, kind or not so much, friendly or not, selfless or selfish, loving or just an asshole, healthy or sick, disabled or not, society’s/media’s definition of beautiful and perfect or considered less than beautiful …no matter our skin color, sexual orientation, ethnicity, nationality, size, weight, religion, views….our life has value. We don’t have to participate in hug day for this, there are simple but significant things we can do each day to spread this message that every life matters. A warm smile, a friendly hello, a sweet blog or Facebook or instagram or other social media post/share, volunteering to help people or animals, paying for someone in line at a store, just being genuinely friendly to every single life we encounter whether human, animal, insect, plant, environment….

My dad asked me “what if a dirty old homeless person comes over to hug you?” And I said then I will happily & warmly welcome him/her into my loving arms. That is what free hug day is all about, Lovingkindness for everyone. That is what I am all about everyday. It’s how I try to live. And when I don’t succeed in being as kind as I would like, I move forward and try again. 

A “dirty old homeless person” is no less valuable than a financially rich person who owns a big company and lives in a mansion. 

Giving free hugs to strangers in public places is encouraged everyday even though each year there are specific days designated by certain organizations or groups to give those hugs. 

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Along with a few of my pics I will share some of my favorite quotes about love. Love in this sense I’m promoting here, is a genuine wish for others, whether or not we know or like them, to be happy and well. Not happy at the expense of others like hurting anyone else, but a genuine sense of happiness and inner peace without doing unnecessary negative things to others. A genuine wish for others to be and feel loved. 

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“Be one deep breath braver than you feel. Be one considerate act kinder than those who are not. Be one gentle hug more loving to someone who hides their pain behind anger. Be brave, kind, & loving. This is your heart’s purpose.” ~ Anna Pereira

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” ~
Leo Buscaglia

“Love is always bestowed as a gift – freely, willingly and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love.” ~
Leo Buscaglia

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~Hug the hurt
Kiss the broken
Befriend the lost
Comfort the sick 
Love the lonely~ ❤

“I am here to serve. I am here to inspire. I am here to love. I am here to live my truth.” – Deepak Chopra 

“A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.” ~ Kurt Vonnegut

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” ~ Mother Teresa

“Love everybody for who they are. We’re not supposed to try to change people. We should allow people to be who they are and love them as they are.” ~ Dolly Parton 

“The meaning of life is to love yourself completely, free yourself and others of guilt, and become totally visible no matter the risk.”

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“People are just as wonderful as sunsets if you let them be. When I look at a sunset, I don’t find myself saying, ‘Soften the orange a bit on the right hand corner.’ I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch with awe as it unfolds.”

~Carl R. Rogers 

“You may say 
I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will live as one”
~John Lennon 

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~Love has everything to do with it ~

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” ~Malcolm S. Forbes

“By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before.” ~Edwin Elliot

“There is so much love in your heart that you could heal the planet.”~Louise Hay

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-A single rose can be my garden, a single friend, my world- Leo Buscaglia

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.” — Albert Schweitzer

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“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?” ~ Henry David Thoreau

“Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.” ~
Author Unknown

Kindness is a gift everyone can afford to give ♥

“Every person is a new door to a different world.” 

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This picture warms my heart. ❤

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So does this one! 😀 ❤

“Dare to reach out your hand into the darkness, to pull another hand into the light.”  ~Norman B. Rice

~Will you be the one bringing light to that person standing in the shadows?~

“I’ve seen and met angels wearing the disguise of ordinary people living ordinary lives.” ~Tracy Chapman

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“Every action in our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.” ~Edwin Hubbel Chapin

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“Someone out there somewhere is looking for exactly what you have to offer.” 

I got this cheesy idea to write sappy love messages on colorful index cards and leave them in random places. Lol It’s probably illegal and considered to be littering. So I did this without getting caught! Lol I put them in tree branches, on park benches, outside buildings… ;-D

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Hopefully at least one person finds it inspiring and not just ridiculously stupid! ;-D

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But I know if I would have found a card like that, I would be thrilled! I know I
can’t be the only one! Chances are if we are a certain way, have a certain problem, feel a certain way, think a certain way….someone else out there somewhere does too! Don’t ever forget it!  

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“Ordinary Angels” by Craig Morgan 
Mobile:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=X4g4VlAgS4o

Desktop: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=X4g4VlAgS4o

I am wishing you much love, joy, and happiness today and always.

Xoxo Kim

P.s.

One of my wonderful Facebook friends shared this song with me:

“Love Shine a Light”

“Let our love shine a light, in every corner of our hearts.”

Mobile:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?sns=fb&v=0Y6r3JrIOFY

Desktop:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=0Y6r3JrIOFY

It’s a universal love song. ❤

Pps. I don’t think the universe meant for me to post this because I had so much trouble all the way around, every aspect and step along the way something got in my way. First my memory cards not working then the WordPress app not working after I finally got my cards to work. Then just as I hit publish, the wifi I’m using cut off! Then a different wifi connected and just as I hit publish again, that wifi cut off too!
It was
a slow night at work because it was raining hard for a while then when the wifi came back, the rain stopped and then lots of customers came so I still couldn’t post this! Lol So if you’re reading this, I somehow was able to win a battle with the universe, who has it in for this post. ;-D And since I kept hitting “publish” and nothing seemed to be happening now like 50 of the same post will probably show up eventually but that’s better than zer0 showing up!
Today is a new day and I’m trying yet again to post it!