Tag Archive | Positivity

Today – <3

Jul21

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July 20, 2015 – I wrote this at work today but I’m posting after 8:00pm so it will say July 21st.It’s not. It’s Monday, July 20th. 

I woke up not in the happiest mood. Last night I was hit with a depressed mood, not the kind almost everyone experiences now and then but my real depressive disorder flaring up. First I was just angry over nothing and everything. Angry and exhausted and kind of numb. Then the pain began to sink in later. I was having dark thoughts and a night of fitful sleep and anxious feelings all over me. I kept being jolted out of my sleep, like jumping up not knowing why. It was nothing external, but in my head. There were no dreams that I know of. I usually remember my dreams. 
I kept thinking of all the negative things that ever happened to me, all the people and animals I ever knew who died(this brought me so much anxiety and pain), thinking that anyone I know can die at any second (more wretched anxiety and pain), every wrong thing I ever thought someone did to me, all of the mistakes I ever made, all the flaws I thought of in just about everyone I know, I felt jealous, lonely, and other negative emotions…i just wanted to end it all. I’m only like this when I’m very depressed, it’s not a general thing but when I get like this, it feels like it was always constant. 

Then there was this serious physical pain in my head that came out of nowhere(for a few seconds I thought something was rupturing and that I was dying. And I was happy about it. Thinking, good, just end it all now. So yes, my depression was bad.). But I wasn’t going to succumb to this vicious disease (or whatever you want to call depression).
It is a serious sickness that just devours me like being consumed by some vicious entity. It can flare up out of nowhere and linger on for months or end quickly. It has to be managed like with physical diseases. 

I decided to get to work, kick this depression in the balls, whatever it takes.
Being able to recognize it like this, that it’s depression, a true condition, and not just me being worthless is a gift. I do not always realize when I’m depressed and believe I’m just hopelessly flawed and worthless and that my life is nothing. Through the years, I learned to often detect this as depression and realize the pain or numbness and emptiness, along with other symptoms, is really the disorder and then I can do whatever I have to do to ward it off or cope as best as I can.  

 Last night/early this morning, I practiced Buddhist meditation and Mala recitation which helps greatly. The mantra I chose for these specific beads, the Mala, which I made at a workshop at the Center where I attend classes, is, 
Oṃ maṇi padme hūṃ, the mantra of compassion for all sentient beings. 

Oṃ maṇi padme hūṃ – dharma-haven.org

We can recite various mantras using one set of Mala beads but Buddhists believe that each recitation, positive energy goes into the beads and every recitation session with that mantra, adds more power to them. When we use a different mantra on the same Mala, all the energy for the previous mantra is obliterated and the power of the new mantra goes into them, then we have to start all over again if we want to go back to a different mantra. This is not that good for people who have been using one Mala for very long with the same mantra! You can just get a different Mala for each mantra. I have two, the one I made myself and one I ordered online (not as pretty! Lol)

Here’s the one I made:
I chose the colors and the beads. 

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Gorgeous, right?!

I get lots of compliments on this beautiful thing! 

Here’s the one I ordered online to help me cope with my cluster-like headaches. It only came in black. 

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Not quite as lovely but I still love it!!

The mantra I chose for this is: 

Om ah hum

This is just a quick one to keep focused and used for purification of the body, speech, and mind.

I love the idea of compassion for all living beings of sentience (even though I don’t always live up to it as much as I intend and want to) so I chose the compassion mantra for my main Mala. Also, I attended the Empowerment for the Buddha of compassion, Avalokiteshvara, last month, where the mind of whatever Buddha the Empowerment is for(like Tara, the medicine Buddha,…)in this case, Avalokiteshvara, is believed to enter our own mind,empowering us with that Buddha’s wisdom and light. So during our Empowerment (they occur once a year I think, here at the center in Philadelphia and maybe two a year in NYS at the Temple, I don’t know where else, and until we receive one by an ordained monk or nun, we cannot engage in certain Tantric practices, it’s believed we aren’t strong or wise enough and will make us sick), the mind of Avalokiteshvara is believed to enter our own minds,empowering us to love like he does, flawlessly, deeply, without condition. We still have to practice to get where he is but the Empowerment helps us get there.
His compassion for all living beings is so complete, so flawless that he can handle anything. No problem is really a problem and nothing is insurmountable when your compassion & love for the world is boundless. We look to him for strength and wisdom and love, as his flawless love runs so deep that nothing can break him. I also wear his necklace. He has four arms! Two of them are folded in prayer at his chest. And he holds a crystal Mala in one hand. He is beautiful! 

Here is my necklace:

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And here is me a couple weeks ago, wearing it but it got turned around in the pic. 

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And here is a song about love & compassion:

Compassion – mobile

Compassion – desktop

When I woke up this morning  it was better but not completely and I consciously, forcefully made lists in my head of all the good things I can think of. And tried to actually feel how good they are, not just list them.  And I read writings by Orison Swett Marden, and philosophy texts by Plato and others, and am much better! It wasn’t a full blown episode yet so I was able to work on it before it got too bad. With my condition which flares up now and again for hours, days, weeks, or months, I had to develop techniques to fend it off or just cope with it when I can’t. I’m not letting this thing get me for months now! No way! I may have to battle it for a while now until the threat of it becoming a full blown episode ends and I’m doing a good job! It’s just what I have to do and is a blessing that I can do this and learned to. It’s like a real disease with symptoms and like a whole entity inside and all around me. Crushing me in complete darkness. Way more than just a mood or attitude. But I have come a long, long way…and am here to stay! lol j/k that’s not what I was really going to write but it sounds cheesy and funny in my head so I went with it! I was really going to write I have come and long, long way and that itself inspires me to keep going and not allow the vicious darkness to consume me when I can help it! 😀 There was a day when I couldn’t do this because I haven’t yet learned how or even realized it can be possible. 

I’m reading a wonderful book by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, “How to Solve Our Human Problems” about how to always maintain a calm, peaceful, and patient mind no matter what pain or problems we have. A problem is only a problem if we allow it to be. No matter who doesn’t like us, rejects us, or even attacks us physically. How to respond with compassion, not anger or any other unpleasant emotion. It’s a Buddhist book but much of it can be helpful to people in general. It’s entertaining and can be read philosophically for intellectual purposes but is also intended to be very practical. I am usually very patient (I have been told I have the patience of a saint! Lol) but even I can work to strengthen my virtue of patience. The book is helpful for all kinds of problems, even handling physical pain. 

I drank a cup of hot cocoa with whipped cream and chocolate syrup! Yum! 

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I’m also reading two fictional horror books! One takes place in a snow blizzard and these people, two brothers who are very close, and their girls, get trapped in it somewhere in the woods, I think, and something evil lurks there. Thrilling! I only read a few pages.  
😀
And I realized even more how empathetic I am. I’m not referring to compassion at this moment but a deep ability to feel and understand a person or situation. I’m at work with a broken air conditioner and four freezers blowing HOT air on me while it’s 90 something degrees out but is said to feel like over 100. Drinking hot chocolate. It’s like torture in here! In the book it’s Winter in Virginia and the group of friends are in a car with the heat on, all warm and cozy. Then the traffic got backed up because of an accident and a police officer came over and they had to put the window down and the author describes how a blast of bitter cold Winter air blew into the window and overpowered the heater keeping them warm. I’m serious when I say I literally felt the blast of cold air on me. Right in the face! 
For a split second I thought the air conditioner may be working again, and looked up to see if like the air conditioner came on suddenly and was colder than ever. Unfortunately no. It was just this empathy of mine. It is beautiful but it can also be a nuisance. Like when someone takes a blow to the face, even just a character in a book/movie, and I’m keeling over as if it’s me it happened to. :-/
I think this book is called “The Snow and the Darkness” but I don’t feel much like checking at the moment. Lol Just a warning, it has great reviews but someone wrote a review saying it’s overly, unnecessarily, disgusting, dark, and disturbing. I don’t like stuff that I think is that dark & disturbing but this person may have a different view about what is “overly” dark. Horror and thriller is one thing but some stuff goes overboard, imo. I don’t know what the person means by this and I already got the book so I’m reading it. But I have read books that I found so disturbing I regret reading them. I hope this isn’t one. So if you’re planning on reading it, watch it! lol

A customer at the store I work at told me I make life so complicated! Ummm…whhaaat?! lol 
He was saying it mostly in jest but he was kind of serious! I was just trying to be helpful! Lol I like to give people exactly what they want and pay for so I ask for more details than I really have to. He wanted two different flavors of water ice together so I asked in which order. 
He took so long to answer I thought he did not hear me then realized he really couldn’t decide if he wanted lemon on top or blueberry and it was a distressing dilemma! It just added another problem to his day.
I find the whole situation to be thought-provoking. And funny too. As simple as I am, I am also deep with wonderful analytical skills! But I don’t go overboard with the analyzing either. It’s a positive thing! Yes, I’m bragging! Lol 

I realized even more how one person can think something is amazing and thoughtful(my desire to get as many details as possible about how someone wants the person’s food prepared, for example) while someone else can find that same trait to be a hassle! It’s all how you look at it. Which brings me back to the book I mentioned at the top, by Venerable Geshe Kelsang, how nothing exists inherently. It’s all how we look at it. Some people find my cheerfulness to be pleasing, I get compliments on it a lot, while others find it annoying(i have been told I’m so cheerful it’s disgusting! Lol).

I’m eating Moose tracks ice cream! It has peanut butter cups! I don’t care much for food pics. Unless the food is pretty. This isn’t very pretty and it’s all melted but it’s delicious. And part of my day. So, why not?! 

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I was the stereotypical girl when I woke up. I was getting ready for work after a shower, trying to decide what, out of my like 500 shirts, to wear and thought all frantically, “I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!!” while flinging my clothes everywhere. :-p

I came out without an ounce of makeup on, my hair all ratty and pinned up wet after the shower, sticking up every which way. And don’t care if I look like hell to everyone. Lol I think I look alright. And even if I don’t, whatever. I’m a confident girl, even with ratty looking wet hair and absolutely no makeup, not even mascara or lip gloss! Confident in two ways, first, I still know I look good or at least ok. And even if I don’t, who cares?! Lol There’s worse things than someone judging my appearance. I really just can’t force myself to give a shit. oh yeah, and my hair often looks kind of wet in my pics because it is. Because I have ass-length hair that has to be put up for work and when it’s very hot or windy I put it up before going out just after a shower then when I let it down later, it is still wet. eww. I promise it’s not oily or anything! lol Ass length hair just tends to get in the way and has to be put up and I don’t wait for it to dry.

Here’s a pic of me today!

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I’m in the closet at work! Lol

And…here I am again! 

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One of the things that cheered me up is reading funny/inspiring blog posts. Just one simple uplifting/funny quote or post can do wonders for someone! If you have something to say/write, pics to share, don’t hold back! Post it now, it can really help someone immensely! Not everyone will appreciate it but even if just one does, that is enough!  And if no one does, at least you have the motivation to try. And even if no one sees it now, maybe in thirty years someone will stumble upon it! Who knows?! Once you put something out into cyberspace it’s there to stay! Even if you “delete” it. This can be good or bad. So watch what you put out there! 

My coworker came and fixed the air conditioner, something to do with the breaker and switches in the closet! I’m not the one you call if you have a practical problem. While I’m great at remaining positive in problematic situations, I’m not very independent in this sense. My automatic thought when a problem occurs is “who can I call to fix this for me?! I NEED someone!” instead of getting creative and assertive and trying myself, I run to someone else. It’s kind of embarrassing because in many situations, (like today) kids have been the ones I relied on to fix stuff for me. Like my sister and my coworkers. My sister is over ten years younger than me (like my coworker who just fixed it) and she’s a great problem solver. My sister can figure anything out and fix it, phones, exercising equipment, any kind of technology…. And I work at a store so my coworkers have been various ages, some decades older than me and some over a decade younger, through the years. And I had sixteen year old girls, take charge, and know what do do during a problem/emergency before I did! I think it’s not just about practical skills, that too, but a mentality. My mentality is “I need someone to come and help me and fix this problem…i can’t do this myself!” or “this is a man’s job/i need a big strong man to help me out, my job is just to stand here and look pretty!”  (I’m sure the rad feminists just love this one! Lol) I often feel relieved knowing someone can come and solve all my practical problems. lol oh well! I’m just not miss independent! Never have been, probably never will be. But it’s ok, we can’t all be good at everything now can we?! ;-D

I discovered some old forgotten songs by Hall & Oates, Michael McDonald, and some oldies but goodies and am now a very happy girl! ❤
I'll share a few! 

What a Fool Believes – mobile

What a Fool Believes – desktop

You Lost That Loving Feeling – mobile

You Lost That Loving Feeling – desktop

Love & Compassion – Parachute Club (mobile)

Love & Compassion – Parachute Club (desktop)

She’s Gone – Hall & Oates (mobile)

She’s Gone – desktop

Takin’ it to the streets – mobile

Takin’ it to the streets – desktop

I hope you will be happy listening to some of these too! I listened to these songs frequently when I was a young girl and some I have listened to more recently and somehow forgot about. 

I listened to a song called “The Power of Your Name,” which is a Jesus song about compassion that I discovered last night but my wifi wasn’t strong enough to let me play it. Then when I got to work today I listened to it.  You don’t have to be a Christian or Catholic person or even believe in Jesus/God to be inspired by the message. It’s about taking the compassion Jesus has for everyone and putting it out into the world, loving others as Jesus does. I love it! ❤ This message can apply to every single person, religious or not, atheist, christian, or whatever you are. 

"And I will live to carry Your compassion, to love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give with the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion to see the world be changed…" ~ Lincoln Brewster 

Awww ❤ so beautiful!!

mobile:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AwKpbbnWPgs 

desktop:

I would classify today as a good day! It did not start out very happy but I was able to take control and turn it happy by focusing on the good. Of course that will likely not always completely solve all the problems and pain we have, merely focusing on the good. But it sure helps! 

So you see, even if our day doesn't start out well, it can certainly end well! And it's not even over yet! 😀

I'm sending you lots of love & compassion today and always! ❤ <333

😀

xoxo Kim 😀

The Only Way is Up

Jul19

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Wednesday was “one of those days.” You know the days where everything just seems to be going wrong?  

It wasn’t that kind of day for me but I was involved in the misfortunes of others. When I got to work, my manager was getting ready to leave. She’s on vacation for two weeks! With my boss who is her sister. To Alaska! It’s a graduation gift to my boss’ son who just graduated 8th grade. He’s the kindest, most respectful young boy. I knew him since he was a little boy. I used to help him cross the street! Now he’s going into high school! How bittersweet! He has very good manners and is very kindhearted. He chose to go to Alaska for his celebration. Yep, I’m jealous! Alaska!  

 So I am basically the manager for these two weeks! Along with doing all of my own work! I have two weeks straight (this is day number 5!) of work days with no days off! Hectic, stress, and busy, busy, busy are probably words to describe my next few days! It tends to get very busy here in the Summer. 

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Lol! This about sums it up! (it’s a screen capture of an example in Kindle dictionary because I’m like a little kid and think it’s hilarious to see curse words!). 

And here’s another one just for shitz & giggles:

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Lmao!

And the air conditioner broke in here again and it’s in the middle of a heatwave of 90 degrees and up everyday feeling like 105 degree!

so:

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Lol! I may be having a little bit too much fun(if there is such a thing…) with these things!

But I’m not complaining. I love working at the store. Being overworked, though, isn’t fun but it does have its good aspects. More money to pay bills, more interactions with people, which I love, more experience, more moments at work reading and drinking tea during breaks where there’s no customers, more ice cream…so yes! Definitely positive. 

Anyway, the order was supposed to come in for the store with all the products we need but the company who delivers the products to us was really backed up and so our order arrived very late. It should have been there in the morning or afternoon but wasn’t there til almost 6:00pm.

 When the delivery man got to the store, he was clearly stressed. And he had to block traffic with the big delivery truck. That can be infuriating to people in cars in the back. I have witnessed countless arguments outside the store, through the years, with people stuck in traffic in back of the trucks delivering our products. It’s not pleasant. People can be vicious and uncivilized. Yes it’s so annoying to be stuck in traffic especially when we really have somewhere to be and can’t be late. It can be nervewracking for sure. But yelling, cursing someone out, threatening (seriously one day the argument led to someone threatening to take a baseball bat to someone’s head! And other physical threats other days with people just walking by getting involved…), and getting physically violent over something like this (it’s kind of trivial, imo) gets us absolutely nowhere. 

The man was anxious having to hold up traffic. There was nowhere else to park near the store and he had these big heavy crates, containers, and things to carry so it wasn’t like he can park blocks away and carry all that. He wasn’t thrilled about blocking the streets. 

He just told us that someone will probably have a problem soon. Then sure as shit there was a lady at the window screaming hysterically that she has to get to work, screaming all kinds of vulgarities, every curse word she could think of. The delivery man is a very friendly man but even he can get stressed, pissed, and be fed up. So he yelled back. And this further provoked the lady which further provoked him.

It was awkward! I was stocking all of the stuff and just tried to act like I wasn’t hearing any of it while my manager was probably doing the same. Lol

After that, he apologized to everyone and mentioned that he was just having “one of those days.” He said everything was going wrong since the morning. Then he accidentally hit the cart with wheels against one of our containers filled with water to soak the utensils for the ice cream and water ice. 

The thing tipped over spilling water everywhere across the entire floor. The poor man, I could see, felt absolutely terrible. He was visibly embarrassed and feeling guilty. Just one more unfortunate event in a series of many for him that day. And to top it off, he just got back off his own vacation. Coming back after a vacation isn’t really fun for many people but coming back to a hectic environment makes it all the more distressing. 

My manager kept reassuring him it was no problem and can easily be taken care of. My manager and me cleaned it all up. And she laughed, provoking me to laugh, because it really was kind of funny.

And sometimes we just have to laugh to brighten things up a bit. Laughter really can be the best medicine!

When the man was leaving he told us that this day can’t get any worse. Then he thought about it and said “you know, that just means it can only get better, let’s look at it that way.”

He was still clearly in a low mood but was still able to see a spark of hope and keep a positive attitude. 

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And again I was reminded that it’s really all about our attitude. Instead of viewing our “bad days” in a negative light that they can’t get worse, we can instead view them in a positive light that if they can’t get worse they can only get better! Or stay the same. Lol But even then we can focus on the gems of beauty and hope scattered throughout. And if they really can get worse then we can remind ourselves that our day isn’t so bad after all if there’s still room for it to be worse. It doesn’t mean it will get worse. And if it does, no matter what happens there’s something good to be thankful for. Let’s focus on that. 

Also, the fact that he took responsibility and apologized after the little conniption, is inspiring and a reminder that we cannot and should not control others, generally, even when they are wrong. But we can control our own reactions and say sorry if we overreact. Whether or not we were/are wrong, we can still make amends and be the one to take responsibility. Offer them the victory and accept defeat upon our self. Not out of a sense of guilt or low self esteem but out of true compassion and desire to make things better for everyone. 

So here’s my little life lessons/reminders for the day! 😀 ❤

I hope your day is going well and if not, remember, the only way is up! ❤ 😀

Xoxo Kim ❤

p.s.

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lol

;-D

Always look at the bright side of life

Jun25

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~”Hate has four letters. So does love.
Enemies has seven letters. So does friends.
Lying has five letters. So does truth.
Hurt has four letters. So does heal.”~
“Transform every negative energy into positive energy. It’s your perception that makes the difference.”
Yesterday, something terrible happened(or maybe I’m just being dramatic?)! I deleted my WordPress app on purpose because it wasn’t working for a couple days and I thought maybe deleting it then putting it back on would get it a better connection. But when I went to reinstall it, I saw that it’s no longer available for BlackBerry! And then I saw that my post did go through after I deleted it! So it was working just not good but now that I deleted it I can’t get it back. Imagine my horror and regret! Lol
The blog is a significant part of me. It’s how I mostly share my experiences, life lessons learned, photos, try to uplift or inspire people…
I don’t post everyday, I even sometimes go weeks without posting but I do post a couple posts each month, at least. But in the three years I had the blog, I can’t remember a day not preparing drafts to eventually post. Every single day I’m writing or planning blog posts even when I don’t publish them yet. Everything I learn, I often think about how I can prepare it to post here, every song, every book that inspires me. Every season. I am so inspired to post here. To help or inspire  others.
On the computer I have, there’s some pop up that won’t let me use WordPress.com and I like using my phone better anyway and on my phone it’s nearly impossible without the app. Posting text content is easy, it’s the photos it won’t let me post without a lot of trouble.
I felt a kind of despair yesterday briefly off and on in waves. Going out of my head. But Buddha’s wisdom and light keeps me going! Buddha teaches about non attachment and being blissful no matter what. Buddha would never sink to despair over technology problems or even something as tragic as someone dying or severe physical pain.
He teaches that it’s ok to have material things, friends, family…but to not be dependent on any of it for our happiness or wellbeing. To know and accept that everything we have and everyone we meet, will eventually end somehow. And he teaches us to be the best we can be so we can help all other living beings be more happy and peaceful.
And I draw on his wisdom and strength to lift me and help me help others in any way I can.
You don’t have to be a Buddhist to benefit by his wisdom.
And I am reminded of the above quote. For every negative thing there’s something positive, something to learn. Some way to use the experience to help someone else in some way. We can take the negative energy and put a positive spin on it.
This sucks!
But oh well, it’s done now!
I thought of my WordPress app and how blessed I always felt to have it but it did contribute to me wanting to pull out my hair on occasion! Thing was annoying! It was slow and would post multiple of the same letters in words and was so hard to deal with. And it took up much space on my phone. Sometimes half of my post wouldn’t show up after I hit publish. It wouldn’t let me change the date when it got it wrong.  This is the main reason I did not post as much as I would like to. It did get the job done well in the end though and I miss it now. I miss it terribly. I miss the layout and seeing the little icon on my phone. The colors which I thought were kind of on the boring side.  I miss everything about it and I would take that distress and annoyance it brought me, any day if I could just have it back. I would prefer the annoyances and still have the app. But that’s not the case. I don’t have it and so I will be thankful for the positive things my loss brings with it. Another positive thing – now I have more space on my phone. I would prefer to have less space and have the app but since I can’t have it, I can still celebrate having more storage space!
I can still post here but maybe not many pictures because it seems it only let’s me post one. Pictures make blog posts better I think, especially long blog posts, and I love posting my random inspiration posts with all the photos! Maybe I’ll find a way! I guess if you really, really want something, you let nothing stand in the way.
This also reminds me of Johnathan Huie’s Zero based gratitude idea where instead of comparing what we have to what we had when we had more, we can just be thankful now for everything. Even if we have so much less than we previously had. Who cares what we had and lost? When it’s gone it’s gone.
We can learn and move forward.
I posted about this concept here:
And here is Mr. Huie’s essay:
Also here’s a good song meant to be funny but with a sweet little message about looking on the bright side of life always, no matter how much it sucks.
Mobile:
Desktop:
The singer Monty Python is a comedian and I read he makes fun of religion. I don’t know much about him or his jokes or if they are vicious jokes or just stupid ones and I don’t necessarily agree with all his views or anything.  I’m just promoting his light attitude about looking on the positive side. “Laugh and smile and dance and sing…” he sings. The singer even goes all the way as to encourage us, when we’re dying, to think life is a piece of shit anyway! Lol “Life’s a piece of shit when you look at it…” that way you won’t care so much about dying! Lmao I don’t view life as shit but I hear his message loud & clear!
Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the light side of life.
And there IS a bright side.
Always.
And if not, you can create one.
I hope your night/day is a good one!
❤
Xoxo Kim

Tact

Apr1

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“Tact is the knack of making a point without making an enemy.” ~ Sir Isaac Newton

I think one of the main reasons for hostile arguing and being at each other’s throats over politics, religious views, and any other topic is not even the disagreement itself but our attitude about it and tone of voice/writing. I’m definitely not innocent of having a defensive or hostile or mocking tone while writing or speaking about certain issues, especially politics, before even getting into a debate or conversation. There have been occasions I had a strong view and wasn’t very kind about it. This provokes others to respond unkindly then further perpetuates the animosity and unkindness. The older and wiser I got, I learned to be much better in general with stating my views on any topic. Now I’m very good at remaining calm, kind, and civilized even when others are not.
It is much easier to accept opposing views when people are tactful and kind when stating them. We don’t have to all agree on everything. We can be great friends with people of different opinions and love them just as much as those with more similar views to our own. 
This doesn’t mean not having or stating opinions. It doesn’t mean avoiding controversial topics just not to offend each other. I don’t avoid controversial topics when they come up. I gladly share my views and listen to others. It just means being kind about it, being respectful of other people even when they have opinions that we do not find favorable.  

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“So let’s leave it alone, ’cause we can’t see eye to eye
There ain’t no good guy, there ain’t no bad guy
There’s only you and me and we just disagree” ~ Dave Mason 

Some people feel we have to become aggressive over things especially politics it seems. Then there are those who feel we have to never ever discuss politics or religion or any controversial views. Then there are those “social chameleons” who having changing views depending upon who they are with. I disagree with all three. It’s great to get to know each other, open up to different views, see different points, be honest about our own views, and be kind. We can be firm and assertive and stand our ground while still being very loving. 

“I ain’t lookin’ for you to feel like me
See like me or be like me
All I really want to do
Is, baby, be friends with you.” ~ Bob Dylan ❤

The next occasion we find ourselves in the face of a controversial debate or conversation, let’s give tact a try! 😀 Lovingkindness is more important than being right! 

😀

Xoxo Kim ❤

Random Inspiration #15 {Struggles & Strength}

Mar29

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” I got something to tell you
I got something to say
I’m gonna put this dream in motion
Never let nothing stand in my way “ ~ Billy Ocean

Here are some of my favorite quotes about how struggles can strengthen us if we let them and help us grow. And my pictures to go with the quotes!!!<3
😀

“May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view.”
~Edward Abbey

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“Sometimes when you lose your way, you find YOURSELF.” ~
Mandy Hale

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“Keep traveling, even if you don’t know where the road will end.” ~
Lailah Gifty Akita

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“I don’t need to go to heaven or hell. I have been both places and always wanted more. I will settle for somewhere in between, so eternity never becomes dull and every miracle is something I never take for granted.” ~
Shannon L. Alder

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“No one learns to be a good driver by driving along a straight road.”

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“Love, happiness, peace – these are not final destinations. They are in every moment, every breath, everything.” ~
Vironika Tugalev

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“The path to our destination is not always a straight one. We go down the wrong road, we get lost, we turn back. Maybe it doesn’t matter which road we embark on. Maybe what matters is that we embark.” ~
Barbara Hall

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“…and as for this little lady, the best thing I can wish her is a little misfortune.” ~ 
William Makepeace Thackeray
(The Rose and the Ring)

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Struggles, challenges, misfortune, mistakes, guilt, pain, any kind of obstacles can all serve as a catalyst for positive change. We can become even better than we were before. Difficult circumstances can be our inspiration to grow.
We don’t have to go out looking for trouble, it will appear on its own. And we can use it to our advantage.

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going…when the going gets rough, the tough get rough…”

” I’m gonna get myself ‘cross the river
That’s the price I’m willing to pay” ~ Billy Ocean

I’m wishing you much love (and a little misfortune…lol jk ;-D)!! ❤

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Check out Billy Ocean’s When the Going Gets Tough:

Mobile:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=opMNboyz5Ng

Desktop:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=opMNboyz5Ng

Xoxo Kim ❤

Blessings to Come

Mar15

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“Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.” ~ Native American Proverb

❤

I recently read a fictional book (book number two in a series) called “Tribal Court” by Stephen Penner, a legal thriller. I love legal thrillers! Many of the books in the series are already out so I don’t even have to wait! I already read book one and book two and am about to purchase book three (on the Kindle app). 

“Tribal Court” is a fascinating book. The series takes place in Seattle and this book takes place on a reservation near Seattle. When a Native American man is murdered by another Native American person in Seattle close to their reservation, their governments sort of clash. The reservation is a sovereign community and doesn’t necessarily have to follow all of the laws of the state government. And if one of their members kills or is accused of killing another member on state ground, the person can be tried in the Native American Court, which isn’t very accustomed to things like murder in these circumstances and they aren’t completely prepared or familiar with the whole process, especially with unfamiliar state laws thrown in.  The main character in the series is Seattle prosecutor, Mr. David Brunelle, who is sent to the reservation to prosecute the accused man, which he isn’t thrilled about. He’s not welcome there because he’s not a Native American person and is there to impose state ways upon their close – knit community. 

He can be quite an asshole (especially to his girlfriend/sort of girlfriend, the medical examiner he often works with in court and homicide scenes) but he’s a likable character. He doesn’t try to be an asshole, he just does, selfishly, whatever he feels he has to do to get what he wants, even uses people.  I like how the author conveys the character’s human side and not just his professional side. 

Anyway it’s all about Native American culture, some non fiction facts and some fictional details thrown in to fit into the story. The author makes a statement at the end to explain what is and is not fact in his book.

I read the end today. Then later I looked in my “Daily book of positive quotations” for today, March 15th and coincidentally the quote is a Native American proverb:

“Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.”

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This really is a great idea! There are so many great things coming to all of us, things we don’t know about and would never even imagine! So why not be thankful for them already? We don’t know what they all are, have no clue about some of them but we can still give thanks. The life we have provides us with the opportunity to experience many great things.

If we live in a state of gratitude for not only what we already have but all that is to come, it can allow us to be happier than if we aren’t mindful of all the opportunities we have to experience amazing things. It’s so uplifting to think about!

“Always believe something wonderful is about to happen.” 

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Developing, strengthening, or maintaining an attitude of gratitude and a conviction that we have many future blessings that haven’t yet occurred, can really shift our minds to a much happier or more joyful place even if we’re already happy/joyful. And if we’re not already happy and full of joy, that attitude can really help. 

I hope you’re having a beautiful day/night!

😀

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And don’t forget to count your blessings! There’s too many to count (even if we don’t always feel that way) but you can list a few! 
There’s always something to be thankful for even in the worst situations. Even if you’re as low as you can possibly be, there’s something to grasp to be thankful for. Some sliver of light. ❤

Xoxo Kim 

GRATITUDE

Mar10

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“Try to pose for yourself this task: not to think of a polar bear, and you will see that the cursed thing will come to mind every minute.”

This post isn’t really about gratitude. It’s about distraction. How deceiving, right?! Lol

But the word “Gratitude” fits into this post well.

In my recent post I mentioned that I recently experienced a few losses, two of my pets (my parakeet and my cat), and my human friend who lost her life to a heart attack at work… all died unexpectedly.

I have been generally very happy even in the midst of my sense of loss and the sorrow for those lost. I’m usually good at staying positive even in the midst of stress and negativity.

Some moments the grief is more difficult than others. A few nights ago, it was hard to sleep. I kept waking up with terrible anxiety. Sleep problems and anxiety are not something I am accustomed to experiencing and I wasn’t completely sure what to do. I rarely have trouble sleeping no matter what is going on. And I rarely experience true anxiety even when something very unpleasant or painful occurs. Anxiety is a “normal” emotion or feeling most everyone feels at some points, whether mild or severe. It’s not necessarily an indication of a disorder.

But it’s never pleasant. I think it’s one of the most unpleasant feelings in the world, fear, panic, and anxiety. When I do experience anxiety for whatever reason, it’s usually mild and whether or not it’s mild, it usually ends quickly. Most of us don’t have panic attacks or anxiety that is out of control but we can draw on our experiences with “normal” anxiety and fear and deepen our empathy for people who have any sort of anxiety/panic disorder.

Anxiety should not be frequent and interfering too much with life, sleep, health…or it may be or be becoming a disorder that can be treated somehow.

My anxiety wasn’t out of control or a symptom of any condition; it was just a reaction to my recent losses and I have never had a panic attack. It looks so scary to experience and horrible. And I have much compassion for those who experience them. I don’t want to even imagine having to put up with such horror.

But when I kept waking up my body/mind was just so stiff and trem-bly with anxiety and a kind of fear and it was just so unpleasant I was desperate to end it(just the fear/anxiety, I wasn’t suicidal or depressed). I looked around my room all groggy and tired trying to find anything that may help me allay my fear/anxiety. It would have been easier if I wasn’t so tired. My sleep was restless and fitful. I thought about getting my earphones and trying to meditate but I was too tired. I tried some meditative breathing techniques which really did help. But I felt I also needed something more.

I kept drifting off to sleep, having weird dreams, then waking all anxious and fearful.

It wasn’t even really anxious thoughts, it was more physical sensations all over my body.

It sucked.

Then I looked next to me in bed and saw my gratitude journal leaning against the wall. I was so tired and through my blurred vision because I wasn’t fully awake, I saw the word “GRATITUDE” and noticed something I never really noticed before.

The word “gratitude” has the word “tit” in it.

And I burst out laughing.

(Yeah I’m kind of on the immature side.)

I was so amazed for some reason (that state in the middle of wake and sleep tends to put me in strange, often elevated/exaggerated moods and stuff).

I wanted to tell someone. “Hey! Do you know the word ‘gratitude’ has the word ‘tit’ in it?! It does!! That’s so amazing, isn’t it?!”

The first person I thought to tell was my sister. She already thinks I’m a perv(there’s countless occasions throughout the day she says “omg, Kim you’re a pig!” With much emphasis on the word “pig.” lol) . And she wouldn’t have been too happy. Which would have made it all the more fun to tell her! But she was sleeping. And I was more than half sleeping, in and out of waking and sleeping.

I began to wonder what other words may be in the word “gratitude” and thought probably not many! But I was wrong! Lots of words began jumping out at me!

A
I
(I laughed at the fact that one letter words are acceptable to me – but why not?! They’re words aren’t they?! Teachers in school wouldn’t let us use one letter words when we played games like this)
AT
Grade
Trade
Age
Eat
Ate
Aid
Rat
Tar
Grate
Rate
Guard
Art

And so many more….i wanted to write them all down but I was too groggy.

So I laid there in and out of sleep with words flashing across my mind, most appropriate words for the activity at hand, some I had to correct myself, even in my sleep/dream state. For some reason I kept wanting to put a “C” in it.

CAGE
CRATE
.
.
.

And I had to open my eyes wide as I looked at my journal to make sure there really isn’t a “C” in “gratitude.”

There’s not. :-/

For a second I even wondered why “gratitude” can’t be “gcratitude” or “cgratitude” just to make my little game a bit more impressive. It was disappointing.

My sleepy brain is a tad off. But it’s all good! 😀

But for the most part, I did well!

I was quite impressed with my slumbering brain coming up with words as I had my eyes closed sleeping or almost sleeping. I wasn’t actually seeing the word “Gratitude” with my eyes when I would drift off in my state of fitful sleep but I saw it across my mind as I was mostly sleeping.

And then I remembered how I loved playing that game when I was a little girl. When I was in middle school, my dad and me would choose a long word and sit on the sofa having a competition to see who got the most words out of it. It was so much fun. We sat there for hours playing at night, making lists, coming up with interesting and fun words. Sometimes I would cheat. But I thought it was so funny that I was brilliant and sly enough to cheat (I actually saw it as a slick skill) and cheat without getting caught, that I would open up and spill my dirty little secret and be laughing hysterically as I was telling it. It never got old, the awe over my gall to cheat and my ability to cheat well.

I had an electronic navy blue word speller that I was able to put just about any word in and it would scramble it for me and tell me all the other words it can make. I used to set my trapperkeeper (some paper holder thing with metal rings and a design with golden lab dogs) up and hide in back of it. My dad wasn’t as impressed as I was.

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Then I came back to current reality and realized how distracting myself helped me significantly with the fear, anxiety, and grief I was having some trouble coping with. The fun little activity itself not only calmed my whole body and eased my mind but provoked me to reminisce and stirred up sweet childhood memories which further distracted and soothed me, I even remembered my favorite red denim flare pants and white spice girl shoes I loved to wear on Thursdays(i thought I was the hottest little thing prancing around in those clothes with my cool electronic word speller (there was no cell phone, no computer, no Internet that I knew of back then) ), and realized that I have lots of happy memories of that age(and every age since then even though I had depression a lot – it would always go away and I would get happy again), and I was able to drift off easy and get a few hours of good sleep. I did wake up achy and still a bit anxious but much better than before.

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One thing to keep in mind is that intentionally, consciously, directly trying not to think of something will, without a doubt, make you think about it more. It’s impossible to escape its bondage when you put your mind directly to not thinking about it. It’s like an inherent contradiction. To try not to think about it, you necessarily have to think about it. Even psychological studies suggest it. I learned about it in psychology classes at Temple University many years ago.

Ironic Process Theory

(Here is a great link to read about it:

http://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/10/unwanted-thoughts.aspx

With some tips on how to cope with unwanted thoughts and feelings.)

And I experienced this phenomenon myself whenever I would try to directly take my suicidal mind off of being suicidal. It’s one hundred percent futile.
But what does work is allowing yourself to feel, think, experience whatever it is while gently distracting yourself by doing something you like/love, something soothing, healing, or something like exercising or other physical activity that is safe for the state you’re in.
Focus on a more pleasant thought and the unpleasant one can melt away. I experienced this then I learned about it in classes.

Eventually your mind may escape the grasp of whatever it is, for a while. You will be so into the fun or healing activity you’re engaged in.

It may be hard to find the strength or motivation to begin an activity of distraction. When we are so depressed or so anxious, it can be hard to even move or believe that it will really work or believe that we are worth it, but it’s worth that initial effort, that first step. And feeling unworthy is just a delusion that depression can put into our heads. And you won’t know until you try if it will work. Rest is good but it’s not good to sit or lay in bed just dwelling on or obsessing over anxious or depressing thoughts or feelings. Acknowledge the depression or anxiety. It’s ok. Even embrace it. Sit with it. Accept it. Then get moving to help yourself cope.

At the mental health clinic I go to for depression, some therapists give us worksheets to help us cope with different problems.

Here is a link to various worksheets to help people cope with different problems such as anxiety, ptsd, depression, low self esteem, negative thinking….:

http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/freedownloads2.htm

They are in pdf files and can be saved and printed out. They are meant to be a supplement to professional treatment if someone has a serious disorder. Anyone can benefit by mindfulness activities and these worksheets but for people with a serious problem, it’s important to seek some kind of appropriate professional help as well. The worksheets are very helpful but are not meant to be the sole “treatment.” Self help techniques (like the worksheets) are great but for true disorders or serious distress, they may not be enough.

One helpful technique is the “Emergency Bag or Box.” One of the worksheets in the link above is about this activity.

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When we are in serious distress, it can be difficult to think reasonably and see an effective, safe way to help ourselves at that moment and can be tempting to resort to things that can seem helpful then but really aggravate the situation or are detrimental later. One helpful technique is to keep an “Emergency bag” or “Soothe box” somewhere that is easy to access.

I don’t have a whole box or bag put together yet. I have things that help me cope with or prevent a depressive episode/suicidal thoughts/urges and help me to cope better with cluster-like headaches.

Here are some of my emergency or soothe things:

Scented candles, especially tropical scented – they don’t have to be lit
Hot tea
Buddhist Mala beads – they remind me to think of positive quotes and affirmations and are very helpful to me with the headaches
Gratitude journal
My six dogs
Art journal/painting
Scented body lotion
Positive songs
Photography – I like taking my own pictures and editing them or writing quotes onto the pics. And also looking at inspiring pics that aren’t mine.
Quote books
Stress ball – for coping with the headaches
Comedy movies
Positive/self help books
Sharing uplifting pictures or quotes to help others
Philosophy books/texts – sometimes even when I’m severely depressed, when I read complex, abstract texts, it takes my mind off it for a while and even uplifts me. It can be hard to concentrate but it’s ok, just the process of reading challenging material is helpful.
Blogs – uplifting blogs help me when I’m in a low mood or struggling with physical pain.

The idea is when you are experiencing a crisis or just in a low or agitated state of mind, to go to your box or bag or wherever you have your soothing/emergency objects and mindfully study or use them. What do they look like, feel like, smell like(if it’s safe to breathe it in), sound like, taste like (if it’s something you can taste)…?

If you choose to put on body lotion, for example, carefully tune into the experience. Feel the sensation of the lotion on your body. Is it hot, cold, sticky, soft….? What does it feel like on your hands and wherever you’re putting it on?

Tune into the environment around you. Use all of your senses and notice the information received by each one. Hear the sounds around you, feel the clothes against your body, taste the air on your tongue…

This mindfulness activity can help you with depression, anxiety, grief, physical pain, and any problem you may be experiencing.

Another idea is to write yourself an uplifting or comforting note or list. Maybe a list of inspiring quotes or note of encouragement. And put it into your box or bag for when you look into it next. Words by others can be very encouraging and inspiring but it can be especially inspiring to see positive words either that you yourself wrote or ones that someone else wrote that you once shared or felt or agreed with. To know you once felt that way and so have it in you to feel it again.

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These things help in a psychological way and can also affect brain chemistry in a positive way. We don’t just have to consume things like medication, alcohol, food…to affect the chemistry in the body/brain. Physical/mental activities interact with our brains as well. They can be a great supplement to medication or talk(or other kinds) therapy or both. Sometimes a combination of multiple things works best.

My heart goes out to anyone struggling with grief, depression, anxiety, physical pain/illness, suicidal urges or thoughts, or anything.

and someone somewhere knows exactly what it’s like to experience whatever you experience. We’re never alone even when it seems that way. ❤

Much love to you,

Xoxo Kim ❤

The Vinegar Tasters

Mar8

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“Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie,
A fly can’t bird, but a bird can fly.
Ask me a riddle and I reply:
“Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie.”

Within the last month I have experienced quite a few profound losses. I lost a human friend as well as two of my pets to death all in a month. All very shockingly and very unexpectedly. 

It’s seriously like the worst emotional pain imaginable. The deepest kind of sadness. 

 Then I lost my job, unexpectedly, because the owner is selling the business(i knew it was happening but not so soon). I don’t have much work experience other than years at a store and some work in college I did as a peer educator so it’s not easy finding another job. Not because I wouldn’t be good at it but the employers are wary of taking on employees without experience for whatever the job is. I don’t have much experience for exactly what I want to do but I am very confident I will do a great job and I’m also quite confident someone out there somewhere will give me a chance one of these days! 😀

Then I lost my Temple University system account (e-mail and things) because someone hacked it or tried and it showed suspicious activity so the University suspended my account and since I cannot yet pay back the student loan, they can refuse to talk to me when I call Monday and not restore my account. I use my account for everything even though I’m no longer a current student there. 

Then the media card in my phone broke (it keeps working then not working because my phone itself is too full of files and stuff which I need wifi to transfer it all to a computer, which I will do when I get wifi) and I lost all my pictures and all my songs and everything else on the media card. I think it’s all still there, just can’t be accessed yet. This is very trivial next to the deaths of my friend, Diane, and my pets, Dylan &Lizz , but it is very distressing, especially on top of the other losses.

A few days ago while getting a shower and experiencing raw grief over the losses of my friends(human and animal), it doesn’t go away but the severity and rawness fluctuates – acceptance to seemingly unbearable, back and forth, I began thinking more about the seasons of life and how pain and loss are inevitable. Whether it’s a very tragic, devastating, senseless, unexpected loss or a natural but still devastating loss to old age or a loss of a job or place to live or something, these are all stages and phases and seasons of living and we can learn to accept them. Acceptance doesn’t mean not experiencing pain or not trying to make things better. It doesn’t mean not speaking up against something we disagree with, not taking action. It just means acknowledging that painful things are part of being alive, whether they are fair, unfair, unjust, happen to most people or are rare…., and working along with these painful circumstances and seasons of life. Not denying them, not wishing them away, they won’t go away. Just soaking up every horrible emotion and also the beauty that comes along with it. Using it to our advantage, to strengthen us and our empathy for others, to deepen our wisdom. And knowing we can be happy and filled with joy along with the grief and any other pain. 

Grief and missing someone and happiness in life can reach a point where they are not mutually exclusive. We can feel both, grief/sense of loss & happiness/joy. It’s the same with physical pain and happiness and even with having a depressive disorder. We can have struggles with these and other things but ultimately be happy. 

The more I ponder this, the more I see the beauty in it and accept it. 

“More is a man of an angel’s wit and singular learning; I know not his fellow. For where is the man of that gentleness, lowliness, and affability? And as time requireth a man of marvellous mirth and pastimes; and sometimes of as sad gravity: a man for a seasons.” ~ Robert Whittinton

I’m reading a book called “The Tao of Pooh” written by a man who finds deep and ancient wisdom threaded throughout the Winnie the Pooh series, Benjamin Hoff. I had this book for a while but never read it yet and coincidentally, I picked it up to read at 4:00 in the morning, not completely sure what it’s about, and I realize it’s about just what I was thinking about during and after the shower that day, accepting and working along with, and even cherishing, all of life, painful and happy, good and bad, joyful and sorrowful. How comforting! How beautiful and inspiring.

In the book, the author tells a little story of “the vinegar tasters.” A painting of three men, said to be Confucius, the Buddha, and Lao-tse, the author of the oldest existing book of Taoism.
These three masters are standing around a vat of vinegar. Each man has dipped his finger into the vinegar and tasted it. Each man’s reaction to the taste is different and each of their faces displays a different expression. 

Confucius has a sour look on his face. The Buddha has a bitter expression. And Lao-tse is smiling.

This painting is not to be taken literally but allegorically. Each man is a representation of “The Three Teachings” of China and the vinegar they are tasting represents the Essence of Life.

So the painting is an allegory for our reactions to life. Confucius, in the painting, views life as sour. He believes that the present is not properly aligned with the past and that the government of man on Earth is out of harmony with the Way of Heaven, the government of the Universe. He has a thing for long ago and reveres the Ancestors and ancient rituals and ceremonies in which the emperor, or Son of Heaven, acts as an intermediary for limitless Heaven & limitless Earth.   

The use of precisely measured court music, prescribed steps, actions, and phrases all add up to an incredibly complex system of rituals, under Confucianism. Each ritual is used on a certain occasion for a specific purpose. A quote to convey the gist of this concept is “If the mat was not straight, the Master would not sit.” This shows the extent and rigidity, and a kind of perfectionism, of the ideas and rituals of the school of thought of Confucianism.

As for Buddha, the second man in the painting, life on Earth is bitter. It’s filled with attachments, illusions, and desires that lead to suffering. To him, in the painting, the world is seen as inherently full of traps, a generator of illusions – a revolving wheel of pain for all sentient beings. According to this Buddha in the painting, we must overcome “the world of dust” to obtain inner peace and reach Nirvana (complete liberation, zero suffering), which translates literally to “no wind.”  We must eliminate all the unpleasantness in life, all our struggles, to be truly happy. 

The author explains how the optimistic attitude of the Chinese altered Buddhism, making it more positive, after it extended to China(it originated in India). But the devout Buddhist often viewed the “bitter wind of everyday existence” as an interruption to the process of reaching Nirvana.

To the last man in the painting, Lao-tse, the one pleasantly smiling, there is Heaven on Earth. The harmony that naturally exists between Heaven & Earth and has always existed can be found by anyone at all in almost any circumstances, during any occasion, as long as the strict rules of Confucianism, which leave no room for diversity and imperfection, are not followed. 

According to Lao-tse, in his Tao Te Ching, , the “Tao Virtue Book,” Earth is essentially a “reflection of Heaven.” It’s run by the same laws which are not the laws of humans. These heavenly laws are said to affect the spinning of distant planets as well as the activity of the birds in the forest and the fish in the sea. 

 Lao-Tse in the painting story, believes that the more we interfere with the natural balance produced and governed by the universal laws, the more difficult it is to reach harmony. The more we interfere with the natural seasons of life, the more forcing, the more trouble. 

The author, Benjamin Hoff, states 

“Whether heavy or light, wet or dry, fast or slow, everything had its own nature already within it, which could not be violated without causing difficulties. When abstract and arbitrary rules were imposed from the outside, struggle was inevitable. Only then did life become sour.”

(pp. 4) 

Lao-tse sees life, in all its pain and beauty, as an opportunity to learn valuable lessons. Life is our teacher, our chance to awaken to deep wisdom. Unlike the Buddha in the painting who advocate for turning away from “the world of dust,” Lao-tse advises us to “join the dust of the world.” He speaks of Tao, the Way, the “law” or essence governing everything in Heaven & on Earth. 

Tao cannot be explained in words. It must be lived, experienced. It’s acceptance of life as it is. It is basically and simply working with our life circumstances, pleasant or unpleasant, appreciating all of life, life itself, letting our experiences teach us, working with every single thing that happens in everyday life, going with the flow.

As I have mentioned, it’s not about not working to fix problems that can be fixed for the better. It’s not about never experiencing pain. It’s about acceptance of life, both beauty and pain, and not denying our emotions or circumstances. Acknowledging what is and just flowing with it. 

Lao-tse believes this naturally brings us happiness.  

We can experience great happiness even in the midst of imperfection, struggles, pain…but when we work in harmony with these circumstances, “Taoist understanding changes what others perceive as negative into something positive.” (pp. 6) 

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“Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.” ~ John Ruskin

According to Taoism, bitterness and sourness are results of being unappreciative and interfering with the essence of life. Life itself is sweet if we understand it for what it is. This is the message of The Vinegar Tasters.

This painting or story is not really about religion or debates or disagreements;it’s a metaphor for life that can be incorporated into any of our lives irrespective of religion or absence of religion. 

I find this concept to be deeply inspiring and very helpful to remembering during difficult and painful situations such as depression, grief, loss, stress….anything.

You can find different versions of the painting in Google images. I found none worth sharing here. In most of the images I looked at, all three men look miserable. Lol

I’m wishing you lots of love & happiness! ❤

Xoxo Kim ❤

Stepping out of our ruts

Mar7

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I was working on a blog post today about positive thinking and handling difficult situations and it turned out much longer and more disorganized than I intended.

So I decided to save it for a while and do a different post today.
I have a book of positive quotes, one for each day of the year. I decided to look at March 7th since that’s today and guess what?!

It’s about the very topic I was attempting to write about today! What a coincidence! There it goes again that law of attraction at play! Lol ;-D

So here’s the quote:

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” ~ M. Scott Peck

Did you know that a problem, even a tragic, devastating one can lead us to something better than if we never had that problem? 

It’s true!

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“To me, photography is an art of observation. It’s about finding something interesting in an ordinary place…I’ve found it has little to do with the things you see and everything to do with the way you see them.” ~
Elliott Erwitt

One example I have is my depressive condition. My depressive disorder is the catalyst for positive change and I am much better, in general, than I would have been if I never experienced the disorder. While I still plummet to the lowest depths of despair, I believe in the middle of episodes, I am better than I would have been if I never knew such pain. I work on myself constantly and have equipped myself with skills to help in any situation that seems unpleasant. I learned about meditation, gratitude lists, appreciative living techniques, and other things that can help anyone, not just depressed people. And that’s how I got this blog!  I wouldn’t have discovered all this if not for my quest to heal my depression I would still be happy but just not like this. Depression sucks but all we can do is cope with it and be even better for it!

Another example is my currently incurable
 pain disorder which causes wretched cluster-like headaches and other horrible physical pain. These headaches, no one can ever imagine the terrible pain involved like being burned alive and the terrible ache involved. I would take a kidney stone and a million broken bones anyday over this. But like my depression, these “headaches” have inspired me to notice the beauty all around me in a deeper way than before. Right before a headache gets to the point it’s unbearable, I begin to notice beauty in a way I never did before the headaches. They start out almost unbearable then escalate to literally unbearable. And before they get to be unbearable, I see the smallest simplest things most of us never notice. Like reflections bouncing off of objects, little beads of moisture on soda or water bottles, or someone’s shoulder in the scorching summer sun.
Sunlight dancing upon someone’s beautiful hair, the sounds of water drops….i can’t take as much pleasure as if I wasn’t having a headache but I wouldn’t have noticed these things as deeply as if I never had the recurrent headaches and it took a few for me to realize.
Then when they end I am still aware of the beauty and can take full pleasure. Even on days I don’t have these headaches of horror, I see simple beauty in a deep way. 

“Suddenly – life has new meaning to me.
There’s beauty up above and things we never take notice of
You wake up and suddenly you’re in love.” ~ Billy Ocean

There’s so much beauty we take for granted. Cliche and oh so very true. 

One warm summer day some years ago a headache hit me so hard and suddenly, unexpectedly as they usually do. I fell back onto my bed in my bedroom, clutching the side of my face. I was destroyed. My life was over, or so it felt.  I knew it was going to get much worse as I have had many before. I couldn’t believe the terror that was and that horror that was to come. And I looked up at my soda bottle. I saw something I have seen countless moments before, year after year after year and thought nothing of. But this moment, it struck me. The beauty of it, I almost had to shield my eyes against the startling beauty. I was awestruck and struck with remorse for overlooking it all these years.

Little beads of moisture streaming down the bottle, glistening and screaming, pounding into my brain and piercing the pupils of my eyes. As if to scream at me “Look at us! We’re here!” Pretty soon the headache completely took over and everything around me completely disappeared. I was engulfed by mind blasting shots of physical agony piercing my very essence. 

Then when I woke up, I was changed. 
I was reborn. I began to see a forgotten world of astounding beauty I have never truly laid eyes on before. Or I have and did not know it.  I still have those headaches and each one is a reminder to acknowledge the beauty, overlooked and ignored. The simplest of all the pleasures in this life.

Here is my post on the suicide/cluster/cluster-like headaches if anyone is interested in it. It’s very long, you can just skim through it if you want. It took a lot of strength to write. 

 https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/2014/10/31/on-pain-suicide-headaches-prevailing/

And here is a post about my goal each day:

https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/small-things-forgotten/

Think of all your problems no matter how seemingly serious or seemingly trivial. List them all. What can they teach you? How can they strengthen you? How can you use them to your advantage to awaken the wisdom in you? And if you can’t yet think of anything, make something up! Create something.

Let’s take a very trivial but annoying problem for example, being stuck in traffic. It can teach you patience, compassion for others who annoy you, you can practice meditation while not driving…and if not then you can make it a point to go home later and do something positive to “make up” for that minor but really annoying inconvenience even if that positive thing has nothing to do with it. Like donate money to a positive organization to help others, exercise, make it a point to warmly smile at someone you wouldn’t usually.
Don’t let those problems be in vain! Get creative!

;-D

Much love to you,

Xoxo Kim  ❤

A Note of Thanks <3

Mar5

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WordPress notified me about a week ago, I think, that my blog here has been getting some unusual attention lately! I was informed that typically the average views each hour that my blog gets is 0 (lol) but then the average views an hour was 28!! Twenty-eight!! Whaaaatt?!

Lol Some Internet celebrity must have shared my blog or something!  

Thank You so much Internet celebrity!  
And Thank You so much to everyone who “likes” & likes, shares, comments, reblogs, lurks, follows….I’m so humbled and grateful!!

You have no idea! The happiness and joy that surges through me to know someone is somehow inspired, uplifted, or helped in some way by my content!

So I’m just writing a little thank you note here to all of you who read/like/comment/share/reblog….

Much love to you! 

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In honor of this amazing news I’m going to share some gratitude quotes!

😀

1.) “Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” ~Author Unknown

This is so true! Sometimes we may feel that we want, need, deserve more than what we have and whether or not that’s true, focusing on this kind of thinking more than focusing on the positivity of what we do already have, is draining and limiting. There’s nothing at all wrong with wanting and striving for more but it’s not good to overlook all of our current blessings just because we want more. I noticed that no matter how much I really want something, taking inventory of all the great things I already have, even the most simplest, mundane things, like the air that I breathe, is an incredible way to feel that right
 now is enough. This moment is enough. 
I can still work for more and want more sometimes but without ignoring all that I currently have. It’s especially uplifting to write down a gratitude list. 

2.) “Silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone.” ~G.B. Stern
 
I definitely disagree with this quote. “Silent gratitude” helps the person experiencing it. The very feeling is beautiful, uplifting, exhilarating. So the person experiencing it is helped. But also, I believe feeling gratitude emits positive vibrations out into the universe which touches others. And a grateful person starts to act grateful and just be more positive and happy and loving, which positively affects others.  But I get the gist of this message, that expressing gratitude out loud or in writing or in some other way, is a fantastic thing and helps people know they and whatever they do for us, are appreciated. 

3.) Gratitude is the memory of the heart. ~Jean Baptiste Massieui

4.) The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you. ~John E. Southard

Mmm hmmm…! I used to often be a fan of revenge when I felt people did me wrong. Sometimes if someone said something negative to or about me, I would be sure to say something worse back. When I found people were gossiping about me, I spread worse gossip. Equal revenge wasn’t even good enough for me often. I had to “get ’em worse than they got me.” Sweet revenge was something I felt compelled to pursue, whether in a subtle way without them knowing or in a more explicit way.  I realized that’s not the way I really want to be and I began resisting the urges to seek revenge until eventually they became almost non existent. Now I can’t even imagine being that way. I’m so so thankful I came to my senses and outgrew those trivial little games. 

Now I don’t get even, I get even more fabulous! Lol 

5.) Gratitude is an art of painting an adversity into a lovely picture. ~Kak Sri

We can learn to view pain, negativity, struggles…as amazing opportunities to get better, get stronger, learn life lessons, and help others. We don’t have to go out looking for pain and bringing it on ourselves and hoping for it but it’s inevitable as long as we’re alive so we can use it to our advantage. 

6.) If you have lived, take thankfully the past. ~John Dryden

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7.) As each day comes to us refreshed and anew, so does my gratitude renew itself daily. The breaking of the sun over the horizon is my grateful heart dawning upon a blessed world. ~Terri Guillemets

8.) I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. ~G.K. Chesterton

9.) You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before the concert and the opera, and grace before the play and pantomime, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing and grace before I dip the pen in the ink. ~G.K. Chesterton

Yes, let’s be thankful for everything! Every little thing!  

10.) For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food, for love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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11.) If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s going to get. ~Frank A. Clark

I have found this to often be true. Some people, it seems the more they get the more they want. And gratitude while being a fleeting feeling most of us probably experience at some points can also be a general attitude. An attitude that can be developed, strengthened, and maintained. 
Just as gratitude can be a habit, so can ingratitude. And if a person is ungrateful then when the person gets whatever that person wanted, that habit of ingratitude is likely to carry over. 
I have a natural inclination to be thankful that I have strengthened, with appreciative living techniques, to be even more, consciously grateful in general. But there are some occasions I am being and acting ungrateful when I want something “more” or “better” and I stop and remind myself that an unwavering, underlying, general, foundation of gratitude is better than the fleeting sense that comes with each specific thing someone wants and gets. 
And if I’m not giving thanks for what I already have, why should I get more?  
Gratitude as an attitude can be developed with practice! Even if you are currently not a very grateful person. 

12.) “Praise the bridge that carried you over.” ~George Colman

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! ❤

I hope you’re having a beautiful night or day wherever you are!

Xoxo Kim ❤