Tag Archive | songs

Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again!

It has been raining all day & night! So in honor of this rainy, rainy night I’m posting some rainy pictures I took on different days, some tonight, along with some quotes and song lyrics pertaining to the concept (literal or metaphorical) of rain!

“Bus stop, wet day, she’s there, I say
Please share my umbrella
Bus stop, bus goes, she stays, love grows
Under my umbrella” ~ The Hollies

” Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.” ~ John Ruskin

I have been sharing this quote a lot! It’s just beautiful! And I completely agree!

The city is stunningly beautiful on a rainy night with all its lights and noises and people under umbrellas and the wet buildings and cars sloshing through the puddles and Earth scents like leaves and soil and rain and wet.

“It’s not the love, it’s just the rain
Two broken hearts
But not in vain…
It’s not the love, it’s just the rain.” ~Journey

“Some people feel the rain, others just get wet.” This quote is attributed to different people. I don’t know the original source but it’s a fantastic concept about paying attention to the things we experience, tuning in, being mindful of the gift of experience.

“rainy days, rainy nights, wash the world, set it right, cleansing streets, set apart, rainy days cleanse the heart.”

Cute little poem about rain!

” The summer sun was not meant for boys like me. Boys like me belonged to the rain.”~
Benjamin Alire Saenz

Aliens landing before my very eyes! Or maybe it’s just an illusion in the rain!

“The rain to the wind said,
You push and I’ll pelt.’
They so smote the garden bed
That the flowers actually knelt,
And lay lodged–though not dead.
I know how the flowers felt.” ~
Robert Frost

This is a picture I took another rainy night. I took it through the window of my dad’s car and it was very dark and I put a lighter picture effect on it and it turned out looking like a painting! Those are really people but it looks like someone painted them! Lol I like it!

The Ritz-Carlton, expensive five star hotel in Philadelphia! I have never been inside! I think we have to be rich to go in but it’s sure beautiful on the outside, especially in the rain! It has some good reviews too!

A big soft pretzel I found in the rain one night, I think in Manayunk! Lol

“The sun is shining
But, it’s raining in my heart” ~Whitesnake

“She’ll be kind of shy
And real good-looking too
And I’ll be certain she’s the one
By the things she likes to do
Like walking in the rain (like walking in the rain)
And wishing on the stars up above
And being so in love” ~ The Walker Brothers

“On the fifth day, which was a Sunday, it rained very hard. I like it when it rains hard. It sounds like white noise everywhere, which is like silence but not empty.”
Mark Haddon

Thank You, Bill ( https://worldstrata.wordpress.com/)

for sharing lots of rain songs with me, a couple of which I shared here!

I hope you’re having a great day/night! ❤

😀

Xoxo Kim

Currently {December edition yay!!}

Dec17

Currently….

My hair: smells like gingerbread cookies. My hair soap is some kind of buttery winter flavor and smells just like cookies!

Loving: people and things in general. And a free Metaphysics course I’m taking online! Just for fun, to learn, but it can also be applied to life as a personal development technique. I love Metaphysics and I went to college for Philosophy (Metaphysics is a branch of philosophy) so even better! I recently took another metaphysics course too online but this one doesn’t have the weekly quizzes or a certification of completion at the end and it was only seven days. No work required, just reading!
The other one is eight weeks!

Anyone can take the classes!

Here’s the link for the eight week course:

http://www.metaphysics-for-life.com/

It requires participation, reading & quizzes.

And the seven day course:

http://www.whatismetaphysics.com/

I read that this one is going away soon, the whole website, like in April 2015, I think (?)

I don’t know why.

There is an abundance of information, free e books in pdf files, links, and all kinds of info. Check it out! The author said to save as much as you can since he’s taking it away.

But yeeeaaaa for free ebooks! Especially philosophy & personal development ones!

Looking forward to: a job I’m applying for in a psychiatric hospital, assisting doctors with paperwork, charts, and stuff! I used to procrastinate a lot with applying for jobs thinking I’m not qualified but whenever I finally apply for one I get so happy I’m sure I’m going to get the job! (I never do) lol!
I don’t procrastinate much now with the applications. I used to do this because I’m afraid if I send it too soon I will remember something better I could have put, then regret it, but I don’t think there is ever a “perfect” moment for things, we have to just jump in and go for it!

Disappointed about: every year my mom, sister, and me bake cookies for Christmas but this year the oven is broke and we don’t know how to fix it and have to save up money to get it fixed. no baking cookies! But on Christmas Eve I’m going to the wa to buy chocolate chip cookies, the warm gooey, yummy ones! Hopefully they’re not all sold out! 😀 :-p

Reading: A Christmas murder mystery! It takes place in a hotel! It’s called “A Murder For Christmas!” I think it’s one of those stories with a group of people all locked together and one is a murderer but no one (except the guilty one) knows which one and they have to watch their backs every move they make, every breath they take. I love those!

Listening to: right now, “One in a Million You” sung by Larry Graham just ended and Billy Joel’s “She’s Got a Way” and now The Isley Brothers – “For the Love of You”

Laughing at:

This meme:

Lmao!

It’s not mine; I found it on Google images and thought I would die laughing.

Drinking:

THis:

Iced latte!

😀

Planning:

I have a few blog posts I’m fixing up to post soon and I’m working on a “Gratitude Guide mini series!” a few posts on gratitude techniques we can apply to live in gratitude more frequently! And my favorite gratitude songs, quotes, and books…My opinions and thoughts on gratitude…

I’m putting a lot of work and energy into it! 😀

Coming up shortly!

Xoxo Kim

Fool in the rain

Dec9

(me on a different rainy day)

“I’ll run in the rain till I’m breathless
When I’m breathless I’ll run till I drop, hey
The thoughts of a fool’s kind of careless
I’m just a fool waiting on the wrong block…” ~ Led Zeppelin

I have been listening to Led Zeppelin’s “Fool in the Rain” over and over for days. And today, that’s exactly what I felt like, a fool in the rain.

Freezing rain.

What a coincidence! Lol

I had a therapist appointment today and have to walk a long way and take two busses. Sometimes on the one bus I listen to music with my earphones. I was listening to “Laughter in the Rain” by Neil Sedaka and it sounded so so good I did not want to get off the bus til it ended! That song always sounds fantastic but some days music just sounds better. Today is one of those days.

So when it was my stop I decided to stay on and get off at the next stop then when the next stop appeared the song still wasn’t over! So I stayed on and then missed the next stop by accident!

Lol go me!

So I had lots of walking back to do! In freezing cold rain! Which made it feel like an eternity. It was bitter but beautiful anyway! I love walking in the rain but not as much when it’s freezing cold out. But I got a few sweet rainy and gray pictures! It was all worth it.

Rain is magic to me.

“Ooooo, how I love the rainy days
And the happy way I feel inside” ~ Neil Sedaka

In honor of the rainy day today I’m sharing a few of my favorite rainy songs! Yay! 😀

When you pay attention to the life all around and within, you can find beauty anywhere.

1.) Fool in the Rain – Led Zeppelin

“Now my body is starting to quiver
And the palms of my hands getting wet
I’ve got no reason to doubt you baby…” ❤

Mobile version: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=c6hpI4_Sm-8&app=m&persist_app=1

Desktop version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=c6hpI4_Sm-8

2.) Laughter in the Rain – Neil Sedaka

“Strolling along country roads with my baby
It starts to rain, it begins to pour
Without an umbrella we’re soaked to the skin
I feel a shiver run up my spine
I feel the warmth of her hand in mine
Ooh, I hear laughter in the rain
Walking hand in hand with the one I love” ❤

Desktop version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsYIiY2wnyU&app=desktop

Mobile version:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SsYIiY2wnyU&persist_app=1&app=m

3.) Walking in the rain – The Walker Brothers

“I want her and I need her
And someday, someway
I’ll meet her
She’ll be kind of shy
And real good lookin’ too
And I’ll be certain she’s the one
By the things she’ll like to do
Like walking in the rain (like walking in the rain)
And wishing on the stars up above
And being so in love” ❤

Mobile version:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NO7vqMwvzkU

Desktop version:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=NO7vqMwvzkU

I was waiting for a bus with a group of people in the freezing cold rain and they were all pacing and complaining over the weather and the waiting and I was just standing there like “yayyyy pigeons!!” taking endless pics like I never seen a pigeon in my life ’til then. They were looking at me like I was insane. Lol!

But it was so cute watching them eat their food. It scares me when people put their food near the street though because of the traffic and they can get run over.

If you ever feed birds, please put the food in a safe place. My mom and me stop to take it out of the street when we see it to move it to a safe place for them to eat. We don’t need those birdies getting hit!

I hope you’re having a great day! Much love to you! ❤ ❤

Xoxo Kim 😀

30 Days of Lists – Day #1 Inspirational Songs

Mar13

I have been working on this post for a few days now.

Recently I came across an interesting blog challenge called “30 Days of Lists.” I can’t find the source now but it’s a challenge where everyday we compose a list for any topic we want. They provided some examples like: things about yourself, words you really dislike, places you want to visit….and you can make up your own lists.

Today I’m going to do a list of some of my favorite positive/inspirational songs. I have so so many and I will list some now. I love all kinds of songs, happy, sad, sappy, romantic, friendship, fast, loud, slow, death metal, Oldies, country….but my absolute favorite ones are sappy, about love romantic and platonic/friendship, loving everyone…, Oldies and country. And inspirational, uplifting ones. I think it’s important to have a special play list of just uplifting ones along with all the others, either uplifting in the message or the tunes.

Songs that will uplift you and not make you sad. Sad songs are beautiful too and sometimes it’s good to listen to a song that matches your current mood. But sometimes it’s better to listen to a more uplifting song that will inspire you to be happier.

So here’s my list(many of them are country songs) There are twenty – Six here:

1.) Cherish – Kool and the Gang

This is a romantic love song but it can be applied to life in general. It doesn’t matter if you’re single or taken, in love romantically or not; you can’t take the lesson to heart, applying it everyday. It’s about being incredibly grateful for THIS life right NOW. You never know what will happen in the next instant, what or who will be taken away, what dramatic changes will occur….”Let’s cherish every moment we have been given, the time is passing by.” Remember this life you have currently, the current state you’re in now, it won’t always be the case. Things can and will change for better and for worse. Health changes, life changes, situations change….take right now to feel blessed.

2.) You and Me – Alice Cooper

Another romantic love song but can be applied to life in general. The message is about realizing what we have IS beautiful. We ARE enough just being us. We don’t have to have some big extravagant job or be financially rich or have some busy, glamorous life to be RICH, happy, and so in love with life itself.

“But you and me ain’t no movie stars.
What we are is what we are.
We share a bed,
some lovin’,
and TV, yeah.
And that’s enough for a workin’ man.
What I am is what I am.
And I tell you, babe,
well that’s enough for me.”

“What I am is what I am.
And I tell you, sweetheart
that’s just enough for me.”

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6ur55juZ4Og

3.) The Chain of Love – Clay Walker

Not a romantic love song but a love song just the same. About reaching out in love to those in need whether or not we know them. Strangers are still people, still someone. At one point, we will all be in need of a helping hand and we should all keep that chain of love going.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mVQGQ0wh7eY

“You don’t owe me a thing,
I’ve been there too
Someone once helped me out,
Just the way I’m helping you
If you really want to pay me back,
Here’s what you do
Don’t let the chain of love end with you”

4.) Happy Girl – Martina McBride

This is a lovely song about a girl who used to be frequently miserable and in a constant state of hopelessness. She walked through life with a heavy heart. Then one day she realized it doesn’t have to be this way. She can be happy. Life can be good. Great. Beautiful. Amazing. She realized that complaining wasn’t changing the world for the better. So she chose to change for the better. She let’s herself be sad, be happy, feel whatever she feels but she is generally a HAPPY girl now! I love it. I can relate so much to this song! It’s like it was written about me. I was that depressed, sad, lonely, hopeless girl for so long until I chose to change and be happy.

5.) Come Monday – Jimmy Buffett

I read that one day many years ago Jimmy Buffett was in a hotel room, on tour, I think, and he was in despair and contemplating suicide. But instead of killing himself, he wrote this and it saved his life. I’m so grateful that his life was spared. This is actually a positive song about Monday! About how there’s something to look forward to even when we’re suffering emotionally, in immense pain. When Monday comes, it will all be alright.

“Come Monday, it’ll be all right
Come Monday, I’ll be holdin’ you tight
I spent four lonely days in a brown L. A. haze
And I just want you back by my side

I can’t help it honey
You’re that much a part of me now
Remember that night in Montana
When we said there’d be no room for doubt

I hope you’re enjoyin’ the scenery
I know that it’s pretty up there
We can go hikin’ on Tuesday
With you I’d walk anywhere
California has worn me quite thin
I just can’t wait to see you again”

http://m.youtube.com/watch?list=PLA3CF6E96E781FE63&v=1DnBwdBhS3c

6.) “If the World had a Front Porch” – Tracy Lawrence

This lovely song is how we should treat everyone as if they’re our own family and friends. We should act lovingly with each other no matter what. It wouldn’t solve all our problems but we would all be friends. It’s reminiscent and nostalgic with the singer remembering how his family would sit on their front porch years ago and all just love each other. I love the warm loving feeling that wells up in me just thinking of this beautiful message.

“If the world had a front porch, like we did back then
We’d still have our problems, but we’d all be friends
Treatin’ your neighbor like he’s your next of kin
Wouldn’t be gone like the wind
If the world had a front porch, like we did back then”

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Y38h55EaHL0

7) You’re a movie. – Alice Cooper

This song is about having amazing self -confidence. Confidence enough to take on the world and give other people strength just by them being in our very presence.

“Bullets repel off my medals
And my men are in awe when I speak
All chaos my strategies settles
My mere presence gives strength to the weak

For me it seems really alarming
I’m really just only a man
With five million sheep in this army
I seem to be the only one fit to command”

“Another day, another victory
Another gold stripe, another star
Really quite boring sometimes
I wish they’d send someone equal to my strategies

What a guy
I’m really quite a guy”

8.) Every woman has a name – Alice Cooper

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mVQGQ0wh7eY

This is an amazing, beautiful, sweet, slow song with an incredible message. The message is that every woman is someone. Someone important. Someone with beauty, pain, struggles, a life. No matter how rich or not, no matter what her job or life situation is like. A waitress, a queen or debutante, a Housewife, a girl with a broken heart and struggles. It doesn’t matter, every woman is lovely.

“And even when your world was shakin’
Even when your breath was taken
Even when your blue eyes turned to gray

Small town debutantes and queens
Every woman has a name
Cocktail waitresses with dreams
Every woman has a name
And every girl whose love survives
A broken heart to stay alive
You signed your picture in the frame
Every woman has a name

You had your love affair
Some were perfect but most of them were pain
Seems a hundred years ago
It took you to the highest hill
Left you standing frozen in the rain
But you still feel the afterglow”

9.) 5:00 somewhere -Jimmy Buffett & Alan Jackson

This song is just really funny and uplifting. He’s stuck at work on a slow summer day and his boss is being an asshole and he decides that even though it’s only the early afternoon he’s getting out since somewhere it is 5:00! Lol

“Pour me somethin’ tall and strong
Make it a hurricane before I go insane
It’s only half past twelve, but I don’t care
He don’t care
And I don’t care
It’s five o’clock somewhere

Jimmy: What time zone am I on?
What country am I in?

Alan: It doesn’t matter

It’s five o’clock somewhere”

10.) Help Me to Heal – Olivia Newton John

Olivia Newton John was tragically afflicted with breast cancer but she survived! And with an amazing attitude! She chose gratitude. And she wrote and sang songs to help her heal and stay strong. I am so so thankful for her stunning, beautiful songs of hope and healing. To me, they are so delicate but so strong and just like they help her, they help me heal. Since I have depression which comes and goes, it can be difficult to choose gratitude when depression overwhelms me. I don’t like feeling depressed but when I’m depressed, I’m often tempted to just let it consume me. It takes strength and motivation, and so much energy to battle it and not let it really suck me in like a vacuum like it used to, where I would be suicidal and just hopeless for months year after year. I still have severe episodes but I now more often than not remain hopeful without serious suicidal thoughts/urges/contemplation. I can cope so much better when I’m hit with an episode.

“I know I’ll find the strength to fight
If I can trust I’m gonna be alright
So walk me through my darkest fears tonight”

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4jfDm3RKXWc

11.) Learn to love yourself – Olivia Newton John

This song is so beautiful about loving yourself. Self-love is very important and it’s not about conceit or arrogance. It’s about being full and compassionate and loving. Self-love is so healing. No matter how many people love you, you won’t truly be fulfilled, probably, until you truly love you. Other people’s love for you is definitely healing to a certain degree but it’s not enough. Your self love is enough.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=CUO4-y-z-Gg

“Youre hurting, uncertain
Alone again
Still searching for someone
But so afraid

And youll try for love
And youll cry for love
Til you learn to love yourself
And youll lie for love
And youll die for love
Til you learn to love yourself..

The answer is sleeping
Inside your heart
True love that you long for
Thats where it starts”

“Breathe it out and breathe it in
Trust the light that shines within
Let it burn til you learn to love yourself
Breathe it out and breathe it in
Trust the light that shines within
Let it burn til you learn to love yourself”

12.) grace and gratitude – Olivia Newton John

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VMCrHv81kgg

“Thank you for life
Thank you for everything
I stand here in Grace and Gratitude
And I thank you …

Seasons come and seasons go
No matter what we choose
A thousand names
A thousand roads
All lead to one simple truth

Thank you for life
Thank you for everything
I stand here in grace and gratitude
And I .. I thank you”

Gratitude is crucial for healing and happiness. It doesn’t cure all problems and doesn’t always take away all pain but it does ease some pain, help us cope, and be happier in general. It shall become a way of life, not just a fleeting attitude. There are different degrees of it. You can be thankful for something you know is a blessing or you can feel it deep into the marrow of your bones, tingling in every bodily cell, Dwelling in your essence. With practice and meditation this can become a frequent reality and help us cope tremendously with anything, loneliness, grief, loss,
depression, physical pain, anything.

It doesn’t matter what you believe or not, you can believe in a god and thank it or just give thanks to the universe, the world, life.

13.) Life’s a dance-
JOHN MICHAEL MONTGOMERY

This is a song about just accepting life as it is. Going with the flow, good, bad, painful, beautiful. We learn as we go along. We can’t force life to always be a certain way and always go smoothly so let’s take it as it comes our way. Not just be passive and accept bad things that can be changed. But accept that life can’t always be controlled.

“Life’s a dance, you learn as you go.
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.
Don’t worry ’bout what you don’t know,
life’s a dance, you learn as you go.”

14.) King of wishful thinking – Go West

This song. It’s a breakup song. A sad one. But it managed to make my inspirational song list! Why?!?! First of all, the tune. It’s uplifting. It’s not sad, dreary, mellow, heartbreakingly devastating. It’s pumped up. But also the lyrics. As the title of the song shows us, it’s not about positive thinking exactly but wishful thinking. There is a slight difference. He’s denying his pain over his lost love. I typically do not promote denying our pain. But sometimes, on rare occasions we may just have to fake it til we make it.

“I refuse to give into my blues, that’s not how it’s going to be.”

“I’ll get over you, I know I will. I’ll pretend my ship’s not sinking.”

Yeah, There’s definitely something positive about this!

15.) If you’re going through hell – Rodney Atkins

This song is very encouraging! It reminds us to keep going no matter how low we feel. Things get bad. So bad that they just can’t get any worse….but then…they DO get worse! Then we learn the truth that we just keep going!

“Well you know those times when you feel like
There’s a sign there on your back
That says I don’t mind if you kick me, seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You think it can’t get worse than that
And then they do

You step off the straight and narrow
And you don’t know where you are
Used the needle of your compass, to sew up your broken heart
Ask directions from a genie in a bottle of jim beam
And she lies to you
That’s when you learn the truth

If you’re goin’ through hell keep on going
Don’t slow down if you’re scared don’t show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there”

16.) I’m alive – Willie Nelson

This is a fantastic song about being thankful for simply being alive.

“It’s so damn easy to say that life’s so hard
Everybody’s got their share of battle scars
As for me, I’d like to thank my lucky stars
That I’m alive and well.

And it’d be easy to add up all the pain
And all the dreams you sat and watched go up in flames
You were on, on the wreckage as it smolders in the rain
But not me, I’m alive

And today you know that’s good enough for me
Breathing in and out’s a blessing, can’t you see?
Today is the first day of the rest of my life”

17.) When the going gets tough – Billy Ocean

“I got something to tell you
I got something to say
I’m gonna put this dream in motion
Never let nothing stand in my way
When the going gets touch
The tough get going

18.) I hope you dance – LeeAnn Womack

This song reminds me to keep going. It’s about cherishing every single moment we’re blessed to be alive, never taking one breath for granted.

My absolute favorite line is “When you come close to sellin’ out, reconsider.”
It’s a sweet song.

“Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’,
Lovin’ might be a mistake but it’s worth makin’,
Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin’ out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.”

19.) Something worth leaving behind – LeeAnn Womack

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HqTT59h9aLg&list=PLfqg3Gb_txbQjUvGzl9Qcl6rJKsDDUGX-

This is a beautiful song about how we don’t have to be famous or have some impressive skills or talents to impact someone’s life in a positive way and to be remembered. All we have to do is love. It’s simple but profound.

20.) Choices – George Jones

This song is about a somewhat controversial topic, the fact that we do have choices in life and much of where we are is because of choices we made. Even the choice to do nothing is still a choice. We can’t always choose what happens to us or what other people do. But we can choose how to react, to overcome pain and obstacles, to heal, and to move forward.

” I’ve had choices since the day that I was born
There were voices that told me right from wrong
If I had listened, no I wouldn’t be here today
Living and dying with the choices I’ve made

I guess I’m payin’ for the things that I have done
If I could go back, oh, Lord knows I’d run
But I’m still losin’ this game of life I play
Losing and dying with the choices I’ve made”

Here is a great quote along similar lines:

“Life is like a game of cards. The hand you aredealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.” – Jawaharlal Nehru

21.) The Gambler – Kenny Rogers

This song is of a similar concept. It’s not really about gambling but knowing how to get along in life. It’s about learning how to choose our attitude and what to keep in life and what not to keep. Every hand’s a winner and every hand’s a loser. This means that every life no matter what can be viewed as good or as bad. It’s all how we look at it. This message inspires me deeply.

“Now every gambler knows the secret to survivin’
Is knowin’ what to throw away
And knowin’ what to keep
‘Cause every hand’s a winner
And every hand’s a loser”

22.) Every storm runs out of rain – Gary Allan

This song is so very comforting. It reminds us that pain heals and we can move forward. Pain and heartache comes and goes and may never go away completely but it can heal and doesn’t always have to be overwhelming and raw.

“Every storm runs, runs out of rain
Just like every dark night turns into day
Every heartache will fade away
Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain.”

23.) She’s got a way- Billy Joel

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=p0iOEOtSyB0

I love this sweet song! About a girl with love and beauty that can touch people’s lives and inspire greatness in the people she comes across.

“…I don’t know what it is
But there doesn’t have to be a reason anyway

She’s got a smile that heals me
I don’t know why it is
But I have to laugh when she reveals me
She’s got a way of talkin’
I don’t know why it is
But it lifts me up when we are walkin’ anywhere

She comes to me when I’m feelin’ down
Inspires me without a sound
She touches me and I get turned around

She’s got a way of showin’
How I make her feel
And I find the strength to keep on goin’
She’s got a light around her
And ev’rywhere she goes
A million dreams of love surround her ev’rywhere”

I just melt.

24.) Raindrops keep falling – BJ Thomas

I love this song! It’s about how even when things seem wrong we can still have hope to keep going knowing that eventually happiness will eventually fill our hearts again.

“Those raindrops are fallin’
On my head, they keep fallin’

But there’s one thing I know
The blues they send
To meet me won’t defeat me
It won’t be long till
Happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin’ on my head
But that doesn’t mean
My eyes will soon be turnin’ red

Cryin’s not for me ’cause
I’m never gonna stop the rain by complainin’
Because I’m free, nothin’s worryin’ me”

25.) Eye of the tiger – Survivor

Some people think this song is too pumped and needs a good toning down. But not me! That vigor is perfect. I love how pumped it is! It’s perfect with the lyrics and message. A song about doing whatever it takes to survive and keep those dreams alive.

“Risin’ up straight to the top
Had the guts, got the glory
Went the distance, now I’m not gonna stop
Just a man and his will to survive “

I love it!

😀

26.) Livin’ In The Sunlight, Lovin’ In The Moonlight – Tiny T

I don’t worry!
Worrying don’t agree,
Things that bother you,
Never bother me!

Things that bother you,
Never bother me
I feel happy and fine!
AHA!
Living in the sunlight,
Loving in the moonlight
Having a wonderful time!

Haven’t got a lot,
I don’t need a lot
Coffee’s only a dime
Living in the sunlight,
Loving in the moonlight,
Having a wonderful time!

I hope you have found some songs here that inspire you deeply and uplift you like they help me! I have so many more also but as you can see, the list is already long!

Much love & inspiration to you!

Xoxo Kim

For Your Eyes Only and some random stuff

Feb15

I just posted, in a draft, somewhat of a long post and before posting it, I accidentally deleted it. Like I said, previously, I frequently work on content but don’t post it as much as I would like to. I write it in my memos section on my phone and save it then later post it.

I use my mobile phone for blog posts and it has an app but both the app and the Internet version suck for this phone. Although the app is much better than the Internet version. It takes so much nonsense just to post one blog post! You just wouldn’t believe it but I love the app and am very thankful for it. I guess most systems can’t be perfect and I will take what I can get. I’m so often inspired and if I really want, I can and often do come up with blog post content everyday. It’s just so impractical with this ppphone.
Like look at the word “ppphone” right there and it’s all kinds of hell just to delete it and fix it. So I’m not.
Usually I write this stuff in my memos section on the phone first then paste it. Here but today I’m just writing it right on the aaapp.
There you go again! “Aaapp”
sorry to any grammar nazis who may be reading! Lol!

Lol I’m not really sorry though. I don’t have a thing for grammar “naziism” or spelling fanaticism.
As long as I get the gist of what someone is saying/writing or attempting to write, forget grammar and all that. You’re good!
Even using my memos first then merely pasting it here is more bs than I want but well worth it to have and post on the blog. But writing it here first? Beyond hell! But oh well!
;-D
So earlier I lost my long post! But today or tomorrow I will write it again and post it! Yay! Lol. It’s a sweet little story I stumbled upon and my thoughts about it! ::-D
So here’s some randomness!
Do you like Sheena Easton?
i do!
You know the girl who sings “Morning Train?”
“my baby takes the morning train….”
“He works from nine til five and then he takes another home again to find me waiting for him”
Yeah. Her.
She has a very beautiful voice and I am just completely in love with her song “For Your Eyes Only.”

I listen to it day and night.
Here:
Mobile :
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fN1WBgS9u_E
Desktop:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fN1WBgS9u_E

Love.

Also I fell in love with photography. Bitten by the lovebug.

Real good. I have always loved taking pics but now I discovered love for it at another level. I want a camera. A real digital camera. But I’m virtually jobless.
so no camera right now. Just my phone’s camera but it’s all good!
i read about photography often. I download countless photo apps, search for tips, look at pics for inspiration….
i want to put my favorite quotes on my photos and share them!
i love things with a dark/sad tinge to it like poetry, photos…sstuff.
Not because I’m sad and dark though. It’s just that I love how sadness and pain can be turned to beauty and expressed through ccreativity.
I love happy, cheery stuff too! 😀
i have been wanting to get pictures of the seagulls I see everyday here in Philadelphia but they usually aren’t close enough and my phone camera can’t always capture things well at certain distances like stars and birds.
but today I got a few!
beautiful bird pictures!
Three days ago I was hugged in Center City, Philadelphia by a completely random stranger.
I was walking to the bus stop after my therapy session. This happy, friendly, super outgoing, and obviously bold girl said “Come on now bring it on in, get over here and give me a hug…”. and you know I’m all about the hugs. So of course I wasn’t going to resist! So we hugged each other like long lost best friends who wanted to cling to each other and never ever let go again. She was with her friend, another friendly girl who took a pic of us hhhugging.
They said “awwww”. It was cute.

Then they went on to hug some more random strangers. And they were saying “see people in Center City DO give hugs!!”
Someone must have said we don’t love hugging strangers here!
Last night I bought a Kindle book called “Molly” I think. It’s a dark psychological thriller.
i read it in bed late last night into the early morning.
I laughed and laughed and laughed til it hurt. Some parts are hilarious. It’s about high school kids. A novel. Dark is right. It’s vulgar and violent and the mouths on the kids in the book! Oh my! But it’s funny and I like it.
They curse like it’s their job throughout the book, there’s explicit sexual scenes, and homicide all throughout iiit.
It’s about a little girl, Amanda. She’s known as being a sweet, quiet, straight A student, a bookworm who never breathes a negative word about anyone.
Her and her older brother are in high school.

All of a sudden she becomes a violent and dangerous maniac who people fear and no one knows what happened to her. It’s a quick, smooth, somewhat light read. It does have sad pparts.
Another song I’m loving is Gladys Knight’s “I Feel A Song in My Heart(again)”
and I recently learned what a transitive verb is.
One night recently I just thought out loud “hey what is the word ‘tastes’ like in the sentence ‘this apple tastes good’?!”.
I don’t think it ever occurred to me before tthat.
In elementary school we learn all about verbs, adjectives, nouns, proper nouns…all that good stuff. but to me it seems that we aren’t often taught about much of that in depth.
Unless we take special classes in it like Maybe English or writing higher education classes.
In the sentence “He tastes the apple…” the word “tastes” is a verb. because “He” is doing something but if the apple “tastes” good, the apple isn’t doing something actively like “He” is.
i never really learned that.
but it turns out that it’s still a verb. A certain kind of verb called a “Transitive verb.”. Interesting!
I have been reading more and more about grammar and stuff! Just out of pure curiosity and sheer pleasure though. Not because I’m necessarily interested in bettering my grammar skills. Lol
Learning is fun though. And the more I learn, I start recognizing it all around!

I think that’s all for now!
i hope so, anyway because this is one wreck of a post for sure!
i promise though, my next post won’t have the messed up “aaapp” and “pppphone” and “lllove” because I won’t post it directly into the app!

One of my seagull photos! Pretty, right?! 😀
i hope you’re having a great day!
And my next post will have more “I’s” than “i’s.”. It’s just that I can’t fix them now without a whole lot of bs and since this is just a little personal blog post and not a scholarly essay or research/journal paper it doesn’t seem to matter much to me.

So yeah. Bye now.

Xoxo Kim 😀

Laughter, here, there, & everywhere ;-p

Dec15

“If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.” ~ Jimmy Buffett

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
Mark Twain

Laughter & amusement have always come so easily to me. Ever since I was a little girl, I laugh so much at everything because I’m genuinely amused. I find dumb jokes hilarious & laughing is the thing that got me in trouble the most in school because I laughed at other kids being bad.

I laugh a lot when I’m by myself also. I love my own company.
I love being around lots of people but don’t mind being alone every once in a while.

I remember random things that happened years ago, like when I fell in someone’s throw up in fourth grade in the coat room at the end of the school day and my mom was so disgusted and had to wash all my stuff, and I burst out laughing. I find the same jokes & movies & memories hilarious, over and over.

And I’m not just talking about a little chuckle! I’m talking about full blown belly laughs that hurt and just won’t end.

It’s a true gift. But it does get me into trouble when I laugh in inappropriate situations.

Bittersweet.

When I saw the movie “What Happens in Vegas” in the theatre I laughed so hard, so long that I literally believed I was going insane. Lol. And it did not help that back then I just got out of a mental hospital right before seeing the movie! I thought I was losing it…..again! lmao

But it was a very healing experience.

When I saw the movie “American Reunion” in the theatre with my friend, everyone was laughing at some scenes and I was the one laughing long after everyone else stopped. Uncontrollably. Embarrassing. Lol

I can even be genuinely amused at things when I’m unhappy and even sometimes very depressed. There’s something so healing about laughing and being amused. It brings me so much hope.

Not only does it feel amazing, it’s just the fact that knowing that I can still laugh that deeply and be genuinely amused even in the midst of chaos and pain.

It’s a feeling that everything really is ok. It’s hope and healing & happiness.

I laugh almost everyday at something silly.

I think many people don’t laugh enough. And not because they aren’t the kind of people who love to laugh, not because they need to lighten up. I think they don’t have the opportunities coming to them as naturally as I do. I don’t know most people but I’m fairly certain that most people aren’t as easily amused as I am over every little stupid thing.

In fact, I can be quite annoying sometimes with my amusement when others just can’t see what I’m so amused about.

My playful, joking personality often clashes with my little sister’s more reserved/mature personality. My mom & sister say I joke too much and too immaturely.

But that’s just the way I am.

But I know there are people who are naturally just as light and cheerful and silly as I am, just not as easily amused. And I think laughter can heal them. So what to do?

Identify your kind of humor. Think about when you do have those deep, belly laughs. What usually provokes them? Certain kinds of jokes? Then go online and look for those kinds of jokes frequently. A certain person? See if you can be around that person more often.

How about iPhone autocotrects?! Those things are hilarious beyond words! I laughed myself to sleep one night reading those! ;-D

My auto correct is off its rocker too. Lol!

Funny videos? Look on YouTube for hilarious videos!

Or go to Google images for funny pictures/memes.

Other people’s embarrassing stories?

Check out Fml stories online! Or the Fml app for some phones!

Whatever it is that amuses you silly, if it doesn’t frequently come to you, how about you go to it instead?! And this can apply to many aspects of life. When something doesn’t come to us, we can go out looking for it.

That’s one thing I’m still learning. I’m not very bold and outgoing and am forever just waiting for people and things and opportunities to come to me. But that won’t always happen. So we have to get going and pursue the things we need & want.
When opportunity knocks, open the door

But

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.” ~
Milton Berle

I discovered a photo distortion app on my phone and am having wayyyy too much fun with it! Lol

I got a serious case of the giggles! ;-p

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
Bill Cosby

Here are some hilarious things to check out!

Hilarious auto corrects:

http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/

http://wtfautocorrects.tumblr.com/

Comic relief for depressed/suicidal people:

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/jokes.htm

FML stories:

http://fmylife.tumblr.com/

Funny panda video:

Desktop: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddZtpS_brOI

Mobile:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ddZtpS_brOI&app=m

Funny Jimmy Buffett songs :

Desktop:
The Asshole Song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_TyrEUpZ8Y

Mobile:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=f_TyrEUpZ8Y

Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes

Desktop: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2_lU3adj5k

Mobile:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IpsTRbJKoa0

” I hear laughter in the rain
Walking hand in hand with the one I love
Ooh, how I love the rainy days
And the happy way I feel inside” ~
Neil Sedaka – Laughter In The Rain

Xoxo Kim

Life Lately & Creative Project

Oct11

So every so often I see those “Life Lately” posts on blogs and I love reading them so much. I love people and knowing what’s going on with them even when I don’t know them personally. I decided to incorporate one of those into this post! Yay! Lol ;-D

Lately…

Listening to: my taste in music never changes. Ever. Same as it ever was. Oldies, country, sappy love songs, inspirational/uplifting . Also I just downloaded many more meditation mp3’s. And some are just creepy and had to be deleted. So yeah. No way. And I recently created a Playlist on my phone of nothing but uplifting songs to inspire and help me. One song constantly on my heart is LeeAnn Womack’s “I Hope You Dance.” I can’t get enough of that song or quite explain how deeply it speaks to me. It’s one of my greatest resources that helps me with my suicidal/low/depressive moods. And there’s another song I have been listening to by Rodney Atkins “If You’re Going Through Hell.” It’s about holding on no matter how much it hurts and keep on going. He sings about being in darkness and just when we feel as if we can’t get any lower, we sink to a new level of despair and desperation and it seems like everyone is out to get us, things are bad and go to worse seeming as if they can’t get worse. Then they do.

But we just keep going, going, and going and there are people who care and want to help. And eventually things start looking up.

And some Alice Cooper lyrics

“We talk about this whole stupid world and still come out laughing ha ha
We never make any sense but hell that never mattered
But we’ll make it through our blackest hour we’re living proof” ~ Alice Cooper (“Department of Youth lyrics)

Watching: again. Something that never changes. I do not watch TV. But I love when my dad watches “King of Queens” at night! I love that show and even have the theme song on my phone.

Reading : Sarah Ban Breathnach ‘s “Something More” and just loving it. She has this great “arts & crafts” idea I’m doing and I have some creative ideas swirling around in my head.

I have a blank page notebook and on the cover it reads, “think positive you are master of your own destiny.”. On the blank pages I’m writing positive quotes and song lyrics and gluing pretty pictures, quotes, and words out of magazines. It will be my creative book of positivity! 😀

Two nights ago I found a meditation mp3 to increase serotonin in the brain and yesterday I meditated to it. It’s supposed to be sending an unconscious positive message to the brain. I do not know what on god’s green earth it was saying to me but when I came out of the meditation I was sickly and achy. ???!!??

Whaaattt??!! Huh?! Yeah, serious headache and just a weird all around feeling. Never again. Delete. Lol. I don’t know what’s going with this thing but I feel injured by it.

There’s a lawsuit right there! Lol jk! Not really! I’m not money hungry and I know the person who created it has good intentions.

Also, my phone’s auto correct. It’s just getting to me. It’s like a setting got changed and it’s over correcting. It’s spelling things wrong and changing the versions of words to the same word but a different version. And my memory card is full and I can’t take new pictures!! Blahhh!! Now I have to save up for a new memory card! And taking pictures is my life! Well, a big part of it! But it’s all good! My phone really is an excellent phone. I am blessed.

Loving: this Fall weather! I love Fall. And it’s finally beginning to feel like Fall and not Summer. I love Philadelphia.
Also, I’m loving writing here, helping myself and others. It’s so great to have something positive to focus on.
And the positivity creativity book I have been working on. I have been feeling creative tendencies attempting to break through. I don’t know why. But I’m so inspired to write. Poetically. Draw. Arts & crafts. Dream even things I know will never materialize. I have this closed minded thing about me where I tend to not dream of things I think can never occur. That’s a big creative block and just dumb so I’m working on that! Nothing is impossible really (except for things that literally are.) . I have no special creative talents and I occasionally get creative energy bursts and do all “creative” stuff I’m terrible at then I quit. But it’s good and fun to draw, write, paint, play… whether or not we’re good at it. So I’m going to make it part of my everyday routine to get my creative juices flowing.

I even have a creative meditation mp3 designed to help us tap into our creative side and enhance creativity.

It’s at meditationoasis.com

http://www.meditationoasis.com/

Here: http://www.meditationoasis.com/podcast/listen-to-podcast/
#29
They have some for free and some to buy. This one is currently available at no cost.

I would like to encourage anyone interested to get a notebook like I have and make it a fun positive creative notebook. Write things like quotes, song lyrics, and words which inspire you. Draw & glue pictures. All you need is markers, crayons, or colored pencils, magazines, scissors, glue, pens, a notebook, any arts and crafts stuff and your brain! It’s fun to do and you can look at it later to inspire yourself!

This beautiful quote is out of LeeAnn Womack’s wonderful song “I Hope You Dance.”. This song and this line have always helped me so much and always will. When I feel like giving up as if I’m about to succumb to depression/suicidal thoughts & urges, this often helps pull me back or keep me grounded.

“When you come close to sellin’ out, reconsider.” ~ LeeAnn Womack

Thanks!

Xoxo Kim

But I Keep Holding On

Oct5

We walk around with stories or theories in our heads constantly, everyday. We have stories and theories about why things have happened and what will result if certain things happen. Sometimes our theories and stories are so strong and we are so convinced that they are accurate that it takes over our lives and we see no other way. They can be negative and they can be positive.

And we have a choice.

In Dr. Gottlieb ‘s book, “Learning from the Heart”, which I have previously written a couple posts about, one of his life lessons he writes about is how theories are just that, theories. They may or may not be true. You may have a negative theory in your head such as “If I don’t get a promotion at my job, I’ll never have more than I have now, I’ll be stuck getting paid next to nothing, I’ll never move on…” or “I went out with him and he hasn’t called me in two days that means he doesn’t like me and I ‘ll never see him again!”

First of all, your theory may not even be correct at all. Just because you don’t get a promotion now doesn’t mean you never will or that you’ll be stuck forever. You may accidentally stumble upon a new opportunity or you can work extra hard and find a new job. And you really have no clue why the boy/girl doesn’t call you back. Maybe he’s sick or extra busy or stressed. Maybe he totally lost your number. Maybe he doesn’t want to look desperate. Or….maybe you are correct! Maybe he’s just not that into you.

We should choose theories or stories that benefit us until we find out the truth. Let’s not go walking around with the worst theory ever. Let’s keep an open mind to limitless possibilities. And the second lesson is that it will seriously benefit us to ponder the worst theory, our worst fear. What if he doesn’t like you? What if you’re being rejected? What if he found someone he likes better? What if you don’t get promoted? What if you don’t get the job? What if it doesn’t all go as planned?

Let’s imagine the worst so we can imagine how we will cope when the worst does in fact happen. As long as we live, bad things will happen to us and we must learn to cope, heal, move forward & live with it.

So it will benefit us to keep an open mind, not assume the worst but KNOW that if the worst is true we will live and keep going.

One of Dr. Gottlieb’s examples is when his editor at the “Philadelphia Inquirer” severely criticized one of his columns. Dr. Gottlieb was devastated and experienced strong unpleasant emotions like terrible anxiety and self -reproach. He imagined getting fired or quitting this job he loved so much. For a few days he lived as if he were no longer a columnist. Then his fear decreased quickly.

Dr. Gottlieb also experienced fear before his surgeries which he had to have after his tragic accident. He feared death and imagined what life would be like for his girls if he were to die. He chose to just be with his fear instead of repressing it or running or denying it. Eventually the fear dissipated. Bad things will happen to us every now & then but we will get by. Just sit with your fears and emotions. Let them run through you, acknowledge them.

Think of a current or previous situation you have been faced with where you had a theory, a negative one. Where you jumped to the conclusion that the worst was/is true and that you would not be able to handle it.

What if you changed your theory that you felt so strongly is/was true? What if your conviction is off? As Dr. Gottlieb states: “To let go of something we’ve always believed in requires a leap in faith – trust in something that is unknowable. And I think the task for all of us is to have faith in our own resilience. When that happens, we are exposed to many more possibilities.”

Take that leap of faith. It may be uncomfortable to let go of something you have felt so strongly for so long but move outside that comfort zone to better things.

There are so many less dramatic theories we can be having in our heads.
Maybe the friend who ignored you on the street wasn’t paying attention, maybe you were rejected for a job for lack of experience, not lack of qualification or intelligence, maybe the person who doesn’t like you back is just not compatible with you and there’s nothing wrong with you, maybe if you lose your job something better will come along…..

So why not have faith in a more positive theory or be open to the fact that any theory may be accurate but still know that you CAN survive the worst and you WILL survive!

Keep on going!

Also here’s an update for anyone who knows I have been struggling so, so hard with depression and anyone who cares. My depression is so much worse than it has been in a while but nowhere near as bad as it used to get sometimes. Today I had a few brief suicide “visions”/fantasies but not plans or contemplation. I’m working hard to avoid that.

If you want to take your mind off certain thoughts, it’s best to not directly try to avoid those thoughts or feelings or they will likely become stronger. Instead try to distract yourself and escape the bondage by doing something pleasant to take your “mind” off it. I have been thinking/reading about Philosophical theories on various things. I love Phil. And I attended college for it and took it just for fun. I felt it helping me today

It’s all good.

I hope you are having a great day and find some consolation & strength & hope. I am so happy I learned personal development/self help techniques to help me along with medication. Years ago when I would be depressed I wouldn’t usually know what to do. I try not to dwell on the negativity of this and instead tackle it and see it as a challenge and find creative ways to handle it. Some moments I feel I can go either way, be sucked into a severe Depressive episode or go the other way and hold on til this ends. I’m holding on for now!

And I hope you will too if you’re having some challenges and struggles no matter what they may be. See if you can be creative and find various ways to cope with it instead of giving in to despair.

😀

“I know this pain
Why do lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Don’t ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?
Some day somebody’s gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don’t you know?
Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day?
Things’ll go your way
Hold on for one more day” ~ Wilson Phillips (“Hold On” lyrics)

Baby, hold on for one more day. Everyday!
Xoxo Kim

Every Storm Runs Out of Rain <3

Oct3

(old picture of me I recently found taken on December 31, 1991, I was 5 years old

“I will keep a smile on my face and in my heart even when it hurts today.” ~Og Mandino

Two days ago in one of my posts I mentioned that I’m struggling with symptoms of depression. I can feel an impending episode of severe depression about to hit. It’s starting out like all the others. Sometimes I can prevent it if I really try hard before it pulls me in to the point of no return for weeks or months.

I can feel suicidal feelings and thoughts about to manifest. I don’t want this to get out of hand so I made a conscious decision yesterday afternoon to do all I can to try to keep it right where it is until it goes or to help lift it. I am so tempted to give in and cave but I keep going. I feel as if I’m about to crumble but I’m staying strong. It’s not easy. It’s extremely difficult.

I can see things all around me that I find immense joy in when I’m not depressed. Crunchy & colorful Fall leaves, the beautiful sky and city lights, animals, people, the sounds all around, pumpkin Spice coffee & hot tea….

I see things I want to want, things I want to be interested in.

But I feel disconnected like I’m not taking full pleasure in it all. I am having memory & concentration problems. Forgetting the simplest things. When an episode is coming on, my senses often become less sharp, things seem bland like There’s no flavor or rhythm in anything, I get furious off and on (I generally don’t have anger issues), I take every little thing too personally when any other day I wouldn’t even care about it, I have an extreme low feeling beyond a normal low mood, everything looks bleak and gray….stuff like this.

One thing that helps me immensely is quotes & positive writings. I love, love, love quotes that inspire me and bring me a sense of consolation. I love to read them, meditate upon them, and share them with others. Sharing is caring.

So I decided to compose a list here of comforting quotes of hope & strength to help me and anyone else who may need little reminders to stay strong & keep going. I also have my positive Playlist of songs I have been listening to.

Maybe I can’t pull myself out of this. And it does feel like it will never end but I can do things to help myself and keep reminding me that it WILL end no matter how permanent it feels.

I want to give in but I know that’s not good. It’s my responsibility to care for myself and do what I can to see it through. If I had a physical illness flaring up, I would do what I have to to manage, ease, and eliminate the symptoms and that’s exactly what I must do with this.

But with this it’s hard because depression saps energy, motivation, and kills the will to live while physical illness often strengthens the will to survive and motivates people to do whatever it takes to keep living and get strong and healthy.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe I have depression as an illness and I just believe I’m just worthless and empty and that’s why I’m so depressed. But I often know now that I have a condition and I remind myself that. Last night it was really taking a whole lot of energy not to become suicidal. It’s so hard.

As hard as it is though, I know I have the choice. The choice to keep going…

I’m very happy & inspired because I have been receiving sweet messages by people on Facebook and here expressing gratitude to me for sharing all the uplifting pics, quotes, words,& messages I share everyday. That’s so sweet and I’m thrilled to know I am able to touch lives for the better. Social Media, when used positively, is so amazing for reaching people, even ones we don’t even know, all around the world. Just one simple picture shared or one quote or word of encouragement can brighten someone’s day immensely.

This is another reason for me to hold on, so I can help others, share my stories/experiences, reach out to people in various ways, and inspire as deeply as I can in any way I can. I am very shy at first and don’t always reach out to people first but I am extremely open, even with strangers, when the opportunity comes up. I don’t mind telling my entire life story, good & bad, to someone I met two seconds ago. And I love to hear/read people’s experiences/stories good & bad. I have always been this way. My mom gets frustrated with me sometimes and yells sarcastically, “That’s it, just tell the world all my business!”. Lol and that’s just what I will do.

To me, there’s no such thing as “Too much info.” and people “airing out dirty laundry” is a good thing! ;-). As long as it’s meant to connect with, share with, express, bring awareness to, help & inspire and not merely meant to be a drama queen! Lol.

I accept people and their mistakes and “flaws”. I may not agree with a view a person holds or with something someone has done but I will love the person just the same without negative judgment. I am in no position to judge like that. I am no better or worse than anyone, my life is no better or worse, my morals are no better or worse. I live & let live and I know that things people do that to me seem wrong or not good, usually say nothing of the character or goodness of that person. The best, greatest people can slip, fall, make mistakes. And all I want to do is provide empathy, unconditional love, compassion, acceptance, understanding, hugs, kindness, friendship, support, & encouragement. Not destructive criticism, insults, negative judgments, guilt trips, grudges, or whatever. I was never someone who is outright cold, callous, critical, cruel, and judgmental or a troll. I have always been loving & understanding but now I am even more that way than ever. I have judged people previously when I shouldn’t have, I said/wrote things merely to annoy or anger when someone would make me angry. I have been arrogant. I have been rude. Sometimes I was somewhat vicious but not now. Sometimes I would disagree with someone’s political views and while the disagreement itself wouldn’t irk me, the specific argument would and I would respond unkindly.

Now I only want to put more love out into the world. Believe what you will. Do what you feel is right for you. Stand up for what you believe in. Advocate. Maybe I will disagree with you, maybe I will oppose your views and what you advocate for but I will never oppose YOU, the person and I will show respect for your decisions and how you feel whether or not I agree. Maybe it’s me who is wrong and not you, anyway. Maybe your “mistakes ” aren’t even mistakes, just things I disagree with. I will see you as the whole that you are, the medley, the “miracle”, the beauty. I don’t see mistakes you have made, flaws you may have, things you do or have done or believe that I disagree with. I see you.

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” ~ Ben Franklin

Here are some quotes helping me tonight. And I hope they touch you in some way as well.

1.) Choose love. Choose to release all resentments.
Forgive everyone. Choose to release all regrets.
Forgive yourself for all decisions that you have ever made that didn’t work out as you hoped.
Forgive yourself for any financial decisions
that didn’t meet your expectations.
Release your regrets if you choose
the “wrong” spouse or the “wrong” career.
Today, choose love.
Choose to love yourself.
Choose to love your life.
Choose to love all the friends, family, co-workers,
acquaintances, and others who share your life.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

2.) Choose what lies in the shadows to be a matter
for discovery and adventure, rather than fear.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(This is a great concept. We can look at the unknown as an adventure and learning experience instead of fearing & dreading it and we can see difficulties as challenges to help us grow & strengthen us as opposed to seeing them as horrible afflictions and seeing ourselves as helpless victims)

3.) Choose to be as a young child –
fully awake, eager for the next experience.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

4.) Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary “rules” about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(yup, follow your own way)

5.) Choose Inner Peace.
Nothing is worth losing your inner peace.
Take action as circumstances require,
but never surrender your inner peace.
Stop. Breathe deeply.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply again.
Then, and only then, take action –
from a peaceful heart.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

6.) Affirmation:
Today I choose the higher road –
the path of charity, acceptance,
love, selflessness, kindness.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

7.) Live life with no regrets and no resentments.
Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others. Choose love.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

8.) It is nearly a certainty that some
of your expectations will not be met today -choose Joy anyway.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(beautiful! :-D)

9.) Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful – it’s our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(yes, let’s choose to look for beauty everywhere we can)

10.) Choose to Dance Lightly With Life.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(yeah, don’t be so serious, lighten up. ;-))

11.) “The doors of wisdom are never shut.” ~ Ben Franklin

(so true, no matter what happened or is happening, there is a glimmer of hope still sparkling and an opportunity to learn & grow)

12.) “Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship.” ~ Ben Franklin

(this reminds me that one little negative thought or action can really take a great toll on me but one little positive thought or action can help me immensely.)

13.) “To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions.” ~ Ben Franklin

(yes, good things come to those who wait but not to those who wait too late!)

14.) “Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” ~ Ben Franklin

(love with all you have, take chances when you really, really feel the need….and if it doesn’t work out, don’t regret it because at that moment you felt everything you did/said and also how will you ever know what may happen if you don’t try. if you must regret then do and regret what you did, don’t sit it out and regret not taking action, not loving! <3)

15.) “Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning , only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.” ~ Ben Franklin

(this is beautiful!)

16.) “We must indeed all hang together or, most assuredly we shall all hang separately.” ~ Ben Franklin

(let’s stay together <3)

Today I am making the decision to give more when I feel like giving up and to hold on when my heart has had enough.

And I hope you, too, will make that decision when you feel broken. <3. Keep making that decision over and over everyday that it hurts.

When I come close to selling out, I will heed LeeAnn Womack’s heartfelt message and reconsider. I will think of that little girl in the picture above. That little girl is me and I came into this world to live and to love and to exist and to be. To inspire & encourage.

Yesterday I wasn’t so sure but today I feel that I’m doing somewhat of a good job kicking this thing in the ass.

“I came to Win
To Fight
To Conquer
To Thrive,
I came to Win
To Survive
To Prosper
To Rise
To fly”.

And that I will.

“I saw you standing in the middle of the thunder and lightning
I know you’re feeling like you just can’t win, but you’re trying
It’s hard to keep on keepin’ on, when you’re being pushed around
Don’t even know which way is up, you just keep spinning down, ’round, down…

Every storm runs, runs out of rain
Just like every dark night turns into day
Every heartache will fade away
Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain

So hold your head up and tell yourself that there’s something more
And walk out that door,
Go find a new rose, don’t be afraid of the thorns
‘Cause we all have thorns
Just put your feet up to the edge, put your face in the wind
And when you fall back down, keep on rememberin’

Every storm runs, runs out of rain
Just like every dark night turns into day
Every heartache will fade away
Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain

It’s gonna run out of pain
It’s gonna run out of sting
It’s gonna leave you alone
It’s gonna set you free
Set you free” ~ Gary Allan

“I’ll look back on this and smile because it’s life and I chose to live it.”

(not my photo but I love it!!)

Xoxo Kim

P.s. Keep on keeping on, when the going gets tough, the tough get going.

(not my picture, I found it on the net)

Livin’ might mean takin’ chances but they’re worth takin’ – One Year <3

Oct1

“What I am well that’s what I am.
I tell you, baby,
That’s just enough for me.” ~ Alice Cooper

“I choose to fight back! I choose to rise, not fall! I choose to live, not die! And I know, I know that what’s within me is also within you.” ~ (Mayor John Pappas, City Hall movie quote)

Hello, lovelies,

Here is something I can’t believe I’m writing today. I never thought I would live to see today.
Never in my wildest dreams. I feel a tingling in my wrists.

Almost everyone who knows me knows of my super long battle with severe, suicidal depression. I have suffered with long term mild/moderate depression for much of my life with recurrent severe, despairing, debilitating long episodes of depression on top of that. Day after day, year after year. It was not truly everyday. It would go away now & again & I would be truly happy. But it would always return.

Many days I even had great self esteem, I liked myself, loved myself even, had no problems, everything was beautiful. I had passions & interests. But I wanted to be dead. Then it would go away & I would be happy, sometimes for months then it would be back, maybe for days, maybe for months before happiness would return.

Telling people doesn’t faze me. When I’m currently dangerously suicidal I don’t tell people usually, out if fear of being put away.

But I will tell people about the vicious darkness that has consumed me. And I will tell people about Hope & Healing.

I’m not embarrassed by this disease and it’s not pretty but I won’t conceal it. I spent hours upon hours a day for many years just fantasizing about ending my life, then happiness, then despair again, I have come so close on many occasions when fear would stop me, fear that it wouldn’t work and I would just be sick, injured, or paralyzed…

Some days I would be happy but still have hours of despair in the middle. And sometimes for weeks/months, I had no depression at all.

I am generally very happy. But I still struggle with the severe episodes. Not as frequently or as long usually But they still occur.

But today is October 1st. My last serious/semi serious suicidal thought/urge was one year ago, October 2012. I cannot remember the exact day. But I know it was in October. Since then I have experienced excruciating episodes of despair, depression, sometimes, But I kept hope alive. Knowing it will end and the sun will rise again.

I have been struggling for the last few days, feeling an episode coming on. I learned to usually detect impending episodes and be able to prevent a full blown one by monitoring and consciously changing my thinking and actions.

But it’s so hard. I keep feeling suicidal thoughts trying to emerge, not just brief, fleeting ones, but ones that I will begin to entertain and dwell on. Over a year ago they would have taken over by now. But somehow now I am managing keeping them at bay.

I know some of my triggers but it’s not always triggered by something necessarily, sometimes it just comes out of nowhere.

Last night while I laid it bed, I wanted to let it just have me, have its way with me and succumb to depression and those suicidal thoughts trying to creep into me. It takes energy and motivation that I just don’t always have or feel like working on. Sometimes I don’t even want to.

This is more than just a low mood but it’s not a full blown episode. This is like what I often had before, not depression but almost. I still haven’t had one of those suicidal thoughts. Something keeps me going. I keep feeling so hopeful then hopeless then hopeful then hopeless. Then hopeful again.

I keep telling myself after all this, I won’t let myself succumb. One year is a big accomplishment for me. Those thoughts and urges were so much an integral part of me for well over a decade, off and on, that it’s incredible to think I finally lived a year without them coming & going. And because of work I did for myself. This thing has symptoms that must be managed just like other illnesses. It flares up every now & then. It comes & goes. But less than it used to.

Ever since I was a young girl I kept wishing over and over and over that I could go one year without those suicidal thoughts & urges returning but I never saw it happening. Until now. Yup, mind=blown. Lol

Depression, suicide contemplation are traumatic. All of it. Even recovery or remission is traumatic. It’s weird. It’s beautiful. It’s freaky. It’s unfathomable. Not having those thoughts day in and day out for months.

And I never get used to it. Every second of every day, almost, I realize how amazing it is to not only be alive but to actually want to be alive. To be happy in general. To have a strong will and desire to live.

I am overwhelmed. When I’m in immense physical pain or sickness and it goes away, I have this amazing feeling, a conscious awareness of not being sick or in pain. But after a while I usually go back to no longer being aware of it, consciously. I get used to it again.

But not this.

This, this never gets old. Not being in an almost constant state of depression, not having thoughts and urges to kill myself everyday all throughout the day, it never gets old. Even after a year, I am almost always conscious of it.

So much zest. So much life. So much passion. This is how it would always be when my depression would lift before coming back but now happiness is more frequent.

I still get depressed. But in general, I am the happiest girl in the whole USA! Lol ;-D

So much hope.

Pain is real. But so is hope.

I want anyone who is feeling hopeless about anything at all whether it’s something seemingly serious or something which seems trivial to know that thoughts and feelings and perspectives change. It may take work and it may not change right this second but you won’t be sad forever. Hold on, you got this.

Look where I was & look where I am. Look at me now! 😀

Go on, take chances. Live. Love. Maybe loving will be a mistake and you will be crushed, abandoned, rejected, ignored, devastated, not loved back…but love anyway. Live anyway.

Love doesn’t ask for changes, it doesn’t ask for favors or to be loved back, love doesn’t demand someone to think or feel or act a certain way. Love simply loves.

“You can be greater than anything that can happen to you. ” ~ Norman Vincent Peale.

“I am 99.9% sure it will never get better. But it’s the 0.1% that keeps me going. ” ~ Unknown

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” -Winston Churchill

“If we weren’t all crazy we would go insane” ~ Jimmy Buffett

“Come Monday, it’ll be alright.” ~ Jimmy Buffett. (Jimmy Buffett mentioned that he wrote this song in a C.A. Hotel room when he was suicidal and it saved his life.& I am so thankful. ❤ .)

“For all those who don’t feel as old as they are and never will

I rounded first never thought of the worst
As I studied the shortstops position
Crack went my leg like the shell of an egg
Someone call a decent physician
Im no pete rose, I can’t pretend
Though my mind is quite flexible, these brittle bones don’t bend

Im growing older but not up
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
Let those winds of time blow over my head
Id rather die while Im living than live while Im dead” ~Jimmy Buffett

“Pour me somethin’ tall and strong
Make it a hurricane before I go insane
It’s only half past twelve, but I don’t care
It’s five o’clock somewhere

I could pay off my tab
Pour myself in a cab and be back to work before 2
At a moment like this, I can’t help but wonder
What would Jimmy Buffett do?

Jimmy Buffett spoken:
Funny you should ask, Alan
I’d say
Pour me somethin’ tall and strong
Make it a hurricane before I go insane
It’s only half past twelve, but I don’t care

Pour me somethin’ tall and strong
Make it a hurricane before I go insane
It’s only half past twelve, but I don’t care
He don’t care
And I don’t care
It’s five o’clock somewhere

Jimmy: What time zone am I on?
What country am I in?

Alan: It doesn’t matter

It’s five o’clock somewhere

Jimmy: It’s always on five in Margaritaville, come to think of it

Alan: I heard that

Jimmy: You’ve been there haven’t you?

Alan: Yes, Sir

Jimmy: I’ve seen your boat there

Alan: I’ve been to Margaritaville a few times

Jimmy: All right.
That’s good

Alan: Stumbled my way back

Jimmy: OK Just want to make sure you can keep it between the
navigational beacons

Alan: Between the buoys.
I got it

Jimmy: All right.

It’s five o’clock.
Let’s go somewhere

Alan: I’m ready.
Crank it up

Jimmy: Let’s get out of here

Alan: I’m gone” ~ Alan Jackson/Jimmy Buffett

This song never fails to uplift me.
And this one:

“Well you know those times when you feel like
There’s a sign there on your back
That says I don’t mind if you kick me, seems like everybody has
Things go from bad to worse
You think it can’t get worse than that
And then they do

If you’re goin’ through hell keep on going
Don’t slow down if you’re scared don’t show it
You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there

I’ve been deep down in that darkness
I’ve been down to my last match
Felt a hundred different deamons breathin’ fire down my back
And I knew that if I stumbled I’d fall right into the trap
That they were layin’

But the good news is there’s angels everywhere out on the street
Holdin’ out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one’s that you’ve been draggin’ for so long
You’re on your knees might as well be prayin’
Guess what I’m sayin’

If you’re goin’ through hell keep on going” Rodney Atkins

“I may be lonely but I’m never alone.” ~ Alice Cooper

” I fearlssly walk into battle
With a shine on my boots and my teeth
Never flinch, never blink, never rattle
My blood is like ice underneath

Oh, I’m the reincarnation of patten
And I’ve got Hannibal’s heart in my chest
God told me I would have rivaled
Alexander the great at his best.” ~ Alice Cooper

”
But you and me ain’t no movie stars.
What we are is what we are.
We share a bed,
Some lovin’,
And TV, yeah.
And that’s enough for a workin’ man.
What I am is what I am.
And I tell you, babe,
Well that’s enough for me.” ~ Alice Cooper

Good day to you all.
P.s. This auto correct on my phone is more insane than I am, constantly changing words to weird things, even changing words to completely different words & bizarre symbols out of nowhere and spelling correct words incorrectly. Luckily I usually catch it before hitting send but occasionally I don’t and am embarrassed if I am writing to someone I don’t know well. The worst is when it changes a word to a different version. It changes “their” to “they’re” so embarrassing! Lol. It recently changed “unfazed” to “phased”! Seriously?! Shit’s off the walls! Thanks auto correct! Thanks a lot, I just love being mortified! It wrote this one day “jesus_20267475.html”. I saved it to show people. Lol I wrote some ordinary word and auto correct deleted it and wrote that thing! Whhhaatt?! Yup, my phone has lost its marbles! I guess we’re made for each other.

;-D. Remember, when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.

Blue skies ahead.

Hope lives here.