Tag Archive | wisdom

30 Days of Photos Day 4 {extraordinary in the ordinary}

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Day 4- August 4th

Day 4 for the photo challenge is to get a picture of an ordinary object. Any object we desire to capture. The point is to see beauty in the ordinary.

I chose a remote control in my house.
I don’t watch TV. Sometimes I watch movies on tv.
I haven’t made it a point to watch TV in years, occasionally if someone else has it on, I watch parts and laugh like “King of Queens” & “Full House.” If I watched tv, those would be two shows I can get hooked on. I watched Full House when I was a little girl and always loved it. ❤ But now tv isn't my cup of tea. I'm always reading. I don't want to commit to watching a tv show each week. I would get restless and always have something better to do. When I say "better," I mean better for me. I don't think everyone watching TV should be or could be doing something better. It's all about our own interests. I just can't get into it. 

But I realize that TV shows are not just entertaining and educational, they can provide us with a sense of comfort or escape for a while. 
They can be a way to cope with grief, depression, or any problem someone may have.
Through the days, weeks, months, years, we can come to feel that we know the characters and places almost as our own family/friends and places we know.
The actors (and all those involved in creating the tv show) bring them alive on screen to touch us in deep ways.  They bring tears, laughter, togetherness, joy, thrills…
Even though I don't watch TV, I often love the warm, cozy feel of a tv being on in the background with a fun show or movie. 
I love the idea of people cuddling up with friends & family together, drinking tea, eating popcorn, laughing while watching something wonderful! 

This is only one remote control but I put a mirror effect on it. 

The 30 day photo challenge is here:

30 Day Photo Challenge Course

You can sign up for free whenever you want, it’s at your own pace and there really aren’t any rules. Just each day you take a pic of whatever the topic is that day and share it on your blog, twitter, instagram…wherever! You can get creative with the perspective, angles, editing, effects…

I’m wishing you much love & happiness today & always!

❤

Xoxo Kim 😀

30 Days of Photos – Day 3 {Rule of Thirds}

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I wrote this on August 3rd but couldn’t post til now(August 4th). 

Rule of thirds 

I’m not sure if my picture today (Aug. 3) follows the rule of thirds accurately but I like it!

I haven’t quite grasped the rule yet.
But at least my subject isn’t directly in the center of the picture, which is the point for Day 3. And my attempt is all that matters anyway!  
(I think this picture may also submit to the rule of negative space?)

This is my Buddha green aventurine bracelet.

It’s supposed to attract positive energy, optimism, amazing opportunities, increase confidence, help us connect more deeply with nature, help with depression, anxiety, be calming, good luck…and all kinds of other stuff.
Aventurine is considered by some to be the luckiest stone! 

My sister and me both have one. She loves stones and what they represent. 

Unlike my sister, I don’t believe that stones, real or fake, can really bring good luck and things but they can be symbolic and a great reminder! Also, this has a little Buddha head on it! Isn’t he cute?!

His expression is so calm like he hasn’t a care in the world and I feel so calm and peaceful just looking at his face on my bracelet. True calmness is within and not about our environment. We can be in the most hectic, distressing, painful environment but still stay peaceful and joyful. We may or may not naturally be calm & peaceful but whether or not we are, with practice we can develop and deepen and maintain a generally calm mind. 

All Buddha figures represent calmness & love but not all of them are crafted as well and look this good. Some Buddha statues and charms just creep me out. It’s a kind of heavy bracelet too, of great quality. I love it! 

Along with sharing my picture, I will share some of his sentiments. Buddha’s teachings can benefit everyone in some way, even just a few of his ideas put into practice can be life changing. 

Last night I had a Buddhist dream.

Did you ever have one of those experiences where you are dreaming and something happens in real life while you’re dreaming and the thing that happens gets incorporated into your dream? Like a dog barking for real then in your dream a dog appears and is barking in your dream but it’s the real one you hear and you awaken to the real dog barking.

I had an experience like this in the morning.
Only it wasn’t barking that was incorporated into my slumbering dream.
I was in class during a Buddhist ceremony and we were doing some ritual. The monk who teaches our class was, in my dream, performing a ritual and all of a sudden something wet and messy dropped on my head during class. I was drenched in liquid and chunks and slop and heard a retching noise and woke up! Unfortunately it wasn’t just a dream! My big pitbull was in my bed hanging over me throwing up! All over me! My head, my arm, my side… Lol She’s not sick; she just has a weak stomach, she always did.
What a way to wake up! 

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This is my pitbull, my fuzzy sausage girl, my furry soulmate, Isis Summerjo. How can anyone resist the cuteness?!

I had no idea what I was going to get a picture of today. I went out and forgot my phone then I had to go to work and at work I was thinking of what to get a pic of then I thought oh of course, my Buddha bracelet!” 

Then I remembered my Buddhist dream and that unfortunate experience! Lol 

So here are some of Buddha’s views.

Do not wish for gratitude. 

Help other living beings just to help, not to receive gratitude in return. Someone may be greatly helped or uplifted or inspired by what we do and that’s enough even if the person isn’t thankful to us. We don’t need people to gush over us for helping them or complimenting them and we don’t need credit or something tangible in return. Love to love, not just to be loved in return.

Do not be boastful – sometimes we will be really good at something that others suck at, we will do something great, we will have what someone else doesn’t, we will accomplish something good, we will learn and come to know things that are important that other people won’t seem to grasp, we will be wiser than some people. But let’s remain humble anyway and use our gifts and fortunes to benefit others. It’s ok to be confident in our abilities and gifts and be thankful but not good to act arrogantly with others or be proud at their expense. 

Rejoice in the fortunes and success of others –
 
Let’s not be jealous. Let’s be happy for others when something good happens to them. Remember how it feels to have something good happen to us then know that’s how they feel and take pleasure in it. It gets us nowhere to feel jealous and unhappy because someone else succeeds, it just feels unpleasant and can lead us to act in unpleasant ways to those around us. It generates negative energy. And remember there’s enough goodness for all of us. When one person wins, we all win. We can even let their happiness and success motivate us and inspire us to take action to better our selves. 

Do not retaliate – when someone does something to hurt us, whether physically or emotionally, or to hurt someone we know, we may feel like seeking revenge, lashing out, holding a grudge…this isn’t good for anyone. It’s detrimental to harbor anger and loathing for someone and it doesn’t usually make the situation better and it often worsens it. 
Act on compassion instead of anger, reach out to help and console the one hurt, not act on fury against the one who hurt the person/other sentient being. And if we are the one hurt, we can reach out to others in a similar situation or just be sure to never do to others what someone did to us. We know how it feels to be hurt, let’s try to avoid doing that to others when we can.

Use every occasion with a person who angers us, as an opportunity to practice patience and cultivating an attitude of compassion, instead of acting on anger. We don’t have to repress the anger, just take a few breaths, consciously, and imagine how acting angry just worsens things, often. It’s good for us and everyone around us to stay calm and loving no matter what. It doesn’t mean not speaking up, just not acting negatively. 

Don’t be consumed in guilt – guilt, when it’s excessive or delusional, does no good. Even if we really are guilty, we can be sorry, vow to try to never hurt someone or do something like it again, then move forward. Nearly everyone makes mistakes, acts unkindly, messes up, is wrong sometimes and there’s always hope, just keep going and help others along the way. 

Cherish others above the self.

Pay close attention to your mind and thoughts, attempt to have positive, loving thoughts.
When you catch unpleasant thoughts, redirect your mind.

Offer the victory to others and accept defeat upon our self. Let others be right even if they aren’t. It’s ok to speak up. But it’s more important to be loving & kind than to be right.

    Advice from Atisha’s Heart

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“Profit and respect are nooses of the maras, so brush them aside like stones on the path.” ~ Atisha

Let’s not be concerned with gaining material/monetary wealth or the respect of others. Do what you know is right deep inside.

“Avoid places that disturb your mind, and always remain where your virtues increase.” 

When we can, let’s avoid places that drain the life out of us, tempt us to do negative things, and are just not good for us. And visit places that nourish our goodness. But remember it’s mostly not about our physical environment but our attitude and perspective that lead to happiness or pain. 

“Avoid friends who cause you to increase delusions, and rely upon those who increase your virtue. This you should take to heart.”

Same with people. We can love them, wish them the best, and go our separate ways.

“Do not be jealous of others’ good qualities, but out of admiration adopt them yourself.”

“Do not look for faults in others, but look for faults in yourself, and purge them like bad blood.”

“Do not contemplate your own good qualities, but contemplate the good qualities of others, and respect everyone as a servant would.”

“Always keep a smiling face and a loving mind, and speak truthfully without malice.”

“Generate compassion for lowly beings, and especially avoid despising or humiliating them.”

“Have no hatred for enemies and no attachment for friends.” 

Loving our friends is good, being attached is not. Let them go if they leave and not depend on them for our general happiness. Love them unconditionally. But keep in mind that the relationship as it now is will one day come to an end either through death or a breakup or drifting apart. Most things do not and cannot last forever. Acknowledging this and accepting it while cherishing those we currently have will help it be easier to cope with loss. 

See, these things can apply to everyone, not just Buddhist people. 

We may not always live up to these things but it’s good to try and each moment we display these qualities is amazing! Whenever we fall, we can just get back up and keep going, lifting others every step of the way. 

❤

Much love to you!

❤

Xoxo Kim 😀

Thursday (and some random memories) <3

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It’s August 2nd(but probably says August 3rd)! Yay! I love the beginning of each month! But I wrote this on July 31st. So yeah…i couldn’t post it because I had so much work and wifi wasn’t working well at work.

Thursday, I was at Buddhist class in Center City, Philadelphia and it ended early so I sat in the park across the street. My dad drives me home so I waited there. I love the park so much! It feels so beautiful just sitting on a bench surrounded by trees, flowers, green, insects, birds, animals.., people when there’s others in there, experiencing the floral fragrances and soft air upon my skin.

That night,  it rained and when the rain stopped all the park benches were wet but I sat on one anyway after taking a brief walk under the dusky sky as the setting sun washed over the city in a disarray of grays and pinks and oranges. It was lovely. I love the way the sunlight reflects off of cars and buildings and windows.

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Two young men, like college aged boys, came to the bench next to the one I was sitting on.

One sat down and the other stood and asked why he would sit on a wet bench and he replied “Dude, my ass is always wet anyway…”

Lmao! I couldn’t help but wonder why his ass would always be wet! But maybe I don’t want to know…

So this story probably has no point but it’s just really, really funny!

Also Thursday was my babies’ birthday! Their first birthday! Last year on July 30th my dog had twins! A boy & a girl. She only had two puppies and my family kept them. And we make sure she doesn’t have anymore! Lol She’s very old. And the daddy is very young.

They light up my world. I have six dogs and we celebrate all of their birthdays and anniversaries that they came to live with us.

We bought them bones and little cakes that they love.

When it’s one of their special days, they all get a gift because we don’t want any to feel left out.

My mom & sister & me are big animal lovers. We treat them as if they are family members because they are. And we feed stray animals when we can and do what we can to save pigeons when they are eating in the street. It’s best to feed them on a pavement so they don’t get killed in traffic.

Here are my babies shortly after they were born last year.

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Woody is the big boy (named after the doll on Toy Story, my favorite movie! His name is Dagwood because I loved that name when I was little and thought the reactions of those I told, were funny, no one else liked it! and I love Toy Story and decided to name him that and call him Woody) Quinny is the girl. My little sister named her.

They are chihuahua/daschund/pomeranian mixes and are the most adorable, sweetest things ever! Their mommy is a mutt and their daddy is a purebred pomeranian.

When they were born we quickly realized their mommy’s nipples weren’t producing any milk except for one nipple, which Woody found the second he was born, my mom said. Lol little piggy! Woody was born first.

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So we had to buy them special milk to drink in a dropper. Now they are very healthy. Woody has a big belly, it’s so cute! He’s now smaller than Quinny but heavier to pick up and has a bigger belly.

This is Quinny shortly after she was born, with milk all over her little face! My heart just melts! ❤

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They are so bad! The older they get, the more energetic they become. They chew everything they get their little paws on and they rip our pants off while we’re walking! Lol But they are just too cute!

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They sleep in bed with me every night. Woody follows me everywhere day & night when I’m home.

They have only been in the world for one year but it feels like forever. I can’t even remember life before them.

I just can’t get over the cuteness. Quinny looks just like what she is, a mutt! Lol And Woody looks like a purebred chihuahua even though he’s more pom. But they both look like their mommy, Boobie(I named her when I was 16 years old. Lol my sister named her Sweetheart but I called her Boobie and it stuck). She’s a great mommy and still takes care of them, cleans them and snuggles with them.

Emmy is the little daddy.

This is him! He’s so adorable and loving.

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He took good care of his babies when they were born, he would go in the pac n play we got for them and take them slim jims and other treats! Lol He had no idea they were too little to eat them but he really did not want them to eat them because he wanted them! It’s so cute, he would drop a slim jim in front of them for a few seconds then take it back and eat it! He wanted it but he wanted to be generous!

Now they annoy him but he still loves them! He growls at them when they annoy him but then he kisses them real fast to show he doesn’t want to be angry. Lol The babies and daddy are always flying around the house playing and having fun, he’s only a year older! Lol

When Woody is being bad and I’m yelling at him to stop, he kisses me real fast too, to let me know not to be mad then he goes back to being bad! Lol And he kisses us as he’s walking by, it’s the cutest thing, he just stops, kisses us, and keeps going. I also get woken up to kissies in the morning.

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best friends 4ever. ❤

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I just love my babies. They are too adorable for words!

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They love having their bellies rubbed and being held and snuggled.

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and here is the little mommy.

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Isn’t she so adorable?! She got a treat for Mother’s Day! ❤
She will 13 years old next month.

And Thursday I had blueberry iced coffee!  Yum! Blueberry is my favorite. I'm also drinking it now(and now. Lol I wrote this on Friday, July 31st, now it's August 2nd and here I am again with blueberry coffee!). I don't care much for regular hot coffee, only if it has a flavor or is iced coffee. I love iced coffee and hot tea but it's not something I drink everyday and I drink it for the taste and pleasure of drinking it. I don't need it to function like some people claim that they do.

It doesn't keep me awake.

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I don’t understand how people can drink coffee every single day and it still helps them stay awake. Doesn’t your body get used to it after a while and it no longer works? Like when people take drugs and have to keep getting them stronger to work like they used to.

In college I never drank coffee, not even iced coffee, it just never occurred to me to drink it. But one day I got yelled at by a philosophy professor for sleeping in his class. I was right in the front row and it wasn’t the first class of his I fell asleep in.

Then he yelled “if people are going to be sleeping in my class or struggling to stay awake then drink a Red Bull before coming here or don’t bother showing up! There will be NO MORE sleeping or struggling to stay awake in here!!” omg! Awkward! Lol

That was the morning after I was at my good friend, Mike’s, house all night! Then after we left his house, we stayed out all night, went to the movies and all over and I did not get home until like 3:00 in the morning! It was a fun night! But I paid for it the next morning! But I would have probably fell asleep anyway!

So I started getting to campus earlier to buy iced coffee and see if it helped me stay awake. I always heard coffee can keep someone awake and wasn’t sure if it is true. I was amazed that it did in fact help me stay awake but did not keep me awake if I wanted to sleep. It helped me have a choice. This was an early morning class and I was struggling with very severe depression (I was involuntarily hospitalized that semester for it) on top of just not being a morning person, and staying up late often just reading or going out with my friends, or contemplating all night if I should live or die(lol dramatic but true). I love morning but I just can’t stay awake that early even if I get to sleep early.

But after a while, my body must have gotten used to the coffee and it no longer helped me stay awake. And still doesn’t. But I came to love it now and still drink iced coffee for the thrill! And I realized how great it was to get to school early and drink iced coffee, read, walk around, and take pleasure in my own company.

I missed classes because of depression and fatigue. Sometimes I couldn’t even get out of bed to go to class and sometimes I managed to get myself up but couldn’t get to class and I would just collapse somewhere outside or in a building and sleep or lay in a near catatonic state. It’s not unusual to see college students lounging around campus so luckily no one was freaked out thinking I was having some emergency.

Fortunately, my depression is not generally this bad anymore and even when it is, I learned to usually cope and function much better! I can’t imagine going back to that dark place. It still gets so dark here but it’s not as frequent and not as threaded throughout my entire existence (it’s hard to put into words) and I’m so much better now in so many ways. It still gets as bad but with the help I asked for and my self help techniques I am generally much better. There’s always hope as long as we stay alive.

If you struggle with any issue, depression, physical pain/illness, please stay alive! There’s always hope for us. And always, someone, somewhere cares or would care if those people knew your struggles.

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This is at the busstop where I wait for the 5 bus some days. ❤

This reminds me of another day I got yelled at in class by a different philosophy professor. For walking in late every day. Not because of depression. Just carelessness and laziness. I deserved to be yelled at. Lol

I walked in late and he was pissed but said nothing. I was relieved because another student walked in a couple minutes later so I felt the attention was no longer on me. The professor still said nothing but looked as if he was about to, then another student walked in and that's when he had enough. He threw his pen on the desk and yelled "alright! This is it!!! It's the same three people walking in late everyday and it won't be tolerated anymore…!!!!" and a big long rant about the three of us disrupting his class that I can't remember much of now. lol again, awkward!

I couldn't get out of that class fast enough that day!

And I remember another day in college, my first year, a boy's phone rang during a math lecture and the professor ran over, picked it up and answered it and he said "who the hell am I?! No, who the hell are YOU?! He's in MY class, he can't be on the phone right now!l then he hung up, tossed the phone on the boy's desk and went back to teaching, like nothing even happened! Everyone burst out laughing while the boy just stared speechless. The professor wasn't really angry, just really funny!

Lol I have so many fun/funny memories of those days in college!  And even the painful ones remind me now how much better I am.

How sweet it is to reminisce!

I can go on and on but I'll save the rest of the memories for other days!

Also, check out this little baby!

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I found him on the counter at work! How cute!

We have lights outside work and it attracts some insects once in a while, in the Summer. Those gnats and mosquitos love the lights!

At first I was embarrassed because I thought he was a roach and there was a long line of people  and I don’t want anyone thinking we have roaches in the store (I promise we don’t!) where we serve food! I did not want anyone to crush him, people are quick to kill insects, especially roaches, it seems! So I ran over to get him in my hands and bring him inside the store. It’s window service so this counter is on the outside. There was a long line of customers and I did not want them seeing me bringing a bug in the store. Lol But I couldn’t let anyone kill him if I could stop it. Luckily the lady in the front of the line knows the lady who was in back of her and turned around as I reached for the bug and no one seemed to see. Except her little girl! She was thrilled like I am and was yelling, “hey, what’s that?! A bug! A bug!” but she, like me, wasn’t afraid, she was fascinated! I love other insect lovers! I don’t seem to find too many of those around!  And I love how little kids are so full of wonder in ways adults can never be. We can be full of child-like wonder but it’s not usually the same as when we were little. Little kids are so amazing!

And it turns out he is not a roach but a kind of beetle! I threw him in the trash. But only because I knew (or thought) it was safe, it is usually just napkins and stuff and a small trash can. If I put him on the floor, he could have gotten stepped on or crawled back out for someone to see. Then an hour later I remembered I threw him in there and went to check but I knew he probably already got out. I found a water ice cup with melted liquid in it that my coworker must have put in there earlier, and hoped he wasn’t drowning in there. I felt my heart about to sink as I checked to make sure he wasn’t in there dead. Sure enough, that’s where he was, of all the places, the one I was desperately hoping he would not be in, there he was! But not dead! Thank goodness! He was just loving the sweet liquid he was slurping off the side.

Aww so cute! ❤

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I took him out, got a few pics, held him for a while, then reluctantly put him in the tree outside. Reluctantly, because I wanted to keep him! Lol

The little thing is so cute and pretty and I felt a connection to him, as I often feel with others, and the world itself. But he belongs outside so I put him out in the tree and there were other insects so he won't be alone and I watched him go into the soil. I am thankful and I think he is too.

I hope you are having a beautiful night or day or afternoon or whatever!

Much love & compassion to you,<3

Xoxo Kim ❤ 😀

Live & Love <3

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My favorite kind of soda has always been Coca Cola. But in the Summer I often prefer iced tea and lemon-lime soda like 7up, Sprite, Mt. Dew…they just seem to quench my thirst better in the hot weather and they also taste better warm, to me, than Cola. I don’t mind warmer soda, I actually prefer it to freezing cold. But not piss warm. Soda tends to get so hot quickly in the Summer. And lemony stuff just tastes better to me when it’s hot than Cola does.

So I bought a box of Sprite cans and am so delighted to see they are a limited edition with inspiring quotes on the cans! 

My absolute favorite one is “Live with it & love it. ” I cannot believe how much it speaks to me. I was so inspired the second I read it.

It’s not at all rare that I find a quote that deeply inspires me but it’s more rare that I find one that tugs on my insides like this one seems to do. I just felt a click, a pull, a deep feeling of knowing when I read this on my soda can. I even saved the can and my mom wasn’t happy! Lol 

But this quote! It reminds me to not just “live with it” but love it! Whatever “it” is. It can be anything. Physical pain, depression, any kind of struggle or problem no matter how seemingly severe or trivial. Live with it. And love it. Even if we can’t love the problem or pain itself, we can love what it teaches us, reminds us, love how it strengthens us and love life itself even with the problem.

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And looking at this quote at another angle.

Live with it & love it.

It can even be referring to a positive/happy thing. Live with whatever beauty we have been blessed with and love it. Feel it, cherish it, acknowledge it, honor it. It’s not just pain that teaches us and strengthens us. Happiness & joy can also teach us, remind us, strengthen us.

This quote can apply to absolutely anything and that’s the main beauty of it I think. 

What a wonderful reminder this can of soda has brought me! I’m thankful it’s Summer and I needed my thirst quenched! 

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Much love to you, ❤

Xoxo Kim 😀

Perspective

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“Another day has almost come and gone
Can’t imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I’d like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war (’cause)
Tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain” ~ Jo Dee Messina

I took this picture a few weeks ago on Thursday (and put a blur effect on it) and for some reason it looks like it’s the dead of Winter. What is up with the bare trees on the side?! Lol! There’s fluffy green ones that appear to be quite fruitful,  in the back but what about those ones?! The barren ones.  I burst out laughing when I saw them! It’s the dog days of Summer! Then my mom who was also laughing (she can be easily amused like me, just not as much usually), showed me the same kind of dead looking trees across the street! I don’t recall ever seeing bare trees like this in Summer before. Maybe they were always there but I just wasn’t paying attention(how unfortunate!). I know in April there’s a mixture of bare and blooming trees because Winter is still just ending and Spring is beginning. But it’s July! 

Anyway, I was recently thinking about how almost nothing (some people would say absolutely nothing) exists inherently. It’s all about our perception or perspective. Two people can look at the very same thing and one sees something completely different. In fact, one person can look at something one moment then later look at that same thing but view it differently even when the thing hasn’t changed.

The weather for example, some people view dreary, rainy days as miserable while someone else is inspired and thrilled. One person can be thrilled about hot, humid days while others find them to be disgusting. Also, just look at the reviews for books, hundreds of people say it’s amazing then hundreds more say the same book sucks. It’s the same exact book! This just goes to show it’s all about how we view things. Is one person really right and one wrong? Or when I view something one way then my perception changes about that same thing later, was I right then or now? 

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In my daily book of positive quotations, I found this quote:

“A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.” ~ James Lowell

It reminds me to try to change my perspective when I’m struggling with depression. I’m generally very positive, even when I’m depressed, I often find things to see beauty in. But when I’m severely depressed, it is so hard to see life as a whole, in a positive way. I still see specific  beautiful things around me but ultimately I’m hopeless or so stuck in a very negative state. 

I noticed that some of the things that I view as positive or neutral when I’m not depressed, suddenly become very negative to me when I am depressed.

When depression hits me, every little thing is easy to interpret as negative. If someone looks at me when I’m depressed, I can take it as a bad thing, like that person thinking something negative, even if the person compliments me, I can misinterpret it as being mocked instead of sincere, if someone I know walks by me and doesn’t say hello, I can automatically take it very personally and negatively, where if this happens when I’m not depressed, I don’t really care why the person did this or can think maybe the person did not see me or did not want to talk to anyone. When I’m depressed, I often think of all the negative things people ever did to me or said to me, even years ago. As soon as my depression lifts, I no longer care and even realize that some of those things weren’t even negative.

There are days I am so thankful and think this life is a beautiful one, I have a house to live in, good health, a couple of friends, a family, a job, my senses….and the very next day or even the same day, I become depressed and feel that it is a terrible one, I live in a house but it’s not my own, I live with my mom, dad, and sister and feel that I’m not acting as a responsible adult, I have a job but not a “real” one, my health isn’t as good as it can be, I don’t have many friends, my family isn’t perfect….when my life is no different that day than the day before when it was absolutely beautiful! Nothing changed but my perspective. 

It’s all about perspective. 

Noticing this about myself, often helps me significantly when I slip into a depressive episode. I remind myself that this negative sensitivity to everything around me is only because of my condition. It’s an illusion. It won’t make my depression go away but it can help me cope and make it so my depression doesn’t get even worse by dwelling on the negative. I keep making it a point to change my views and my thoughts into more positive ones and remind myself how just recently, I viewed these very same things very positively. 

This can also help people who aren’t depressed or don’t have depression ever.  It doesn’t take just depression for us to sometimes view things negatively and feel completely low. 
Sometimes we can think our friend or lover or relationship or job is perfect or amazing then later see all the ways they can be better. Our mood can affect our perspective. 

Our situation can be exactly the same today as it was yesterday but we can see it in a very different way. It’s actually quite fascinating! 

Even if something was always bad or we always viewed it that way, we can still try to view the situation more positively. Maybe it’s teaching us something or it’s necessary to get to something better. If we can’t change it, let’s change our attitude. 

One way I found to help this is to intentionally focus on the positive in the people and things around us and remind our self that maybe it’s only our mood clouding our perception anyway. Make it a point to look for the good in everything and tolerate or accept the bad when we can’t distance our self. 

I was browsing songs on YouTube and came across the song “No Scrubz” by TLC.

Remember that song? 

No Scrubz – mobile

No Scrubz – desktop

I think it’s kind of rude. 

She criticizes him for thinking he’s “fine” or something like that, for trying to get with her while hanging in his best friend’s car, for living with his mom, for looking like trash, while she’s looking classy, for being a broke ass (lol), for talking about all that he wants while having no money…

When I first listened to this song recently, after not hearing it in years, I automatically saw the good in this “scrub.” He doesn’t have money but he does have a best friend and a mom and his mom allows him to live with her. That’s better than money! Best friends and moms are the best to have! Who cares about money! Lol And it’s clear in the song that he does have a phone number, whether his or his mom’s or someone else’s, he has access to phone service! 
Also, while it’s not really respectable to be yelling to girls while driving by, he’s complimenting her for being pretty, that’s better than saying someone looks like trash. 
I would prefer a scrub to be yelling out at me about how pretty I am than an abusive person telling me I look like trash(not everyone who calls someone trash is abusive, imo).
Some people appear to be respectable, have money, a job, a great house, education…but act in an abusive or cruel way or just not very pleasant.
I will take the scrub any day! Lol
He’s saying something good about her! I would prefer someone being kind of trashy than someone acting incredibly stuck up calling people trash. And at least he has things he wants. He may not act on it but at least he’s not dead, he has desire. That itself counts for something. I am especially aware of this because when I’m very depressed, I often have no desire and am numb and lifeless. So when someone or me has passion or desire or hunger, I am inspired. 

Again, I see the difference in perspective. Two people can look at one person or thing and see them in a completely contrasting way. 

She sees a complete loser while I think he’s not so bad. And this isn’t to bash her or the song. I can’t deny that the song is funny and has good music and a sweet tune. And she certainly has good things about her too! She can sing well! She can dance! She likely won’t get into a car with a stranger. That’s good! She clearly has a high opinion of herself. That is very good. It’s not good to be stuck up but a woman with confidence is sexy. Maybe she can tone it down a bit in one way but it’s ultimately a good attitude to have. She has all these good things about her. And many other things. She’s pretty also. She’s pleasing to look at. 

I chose this song as an example because I have been listening to it recently and it happens to be a good example for this topic. It’s just random or coincidental. 

And I, myself have had low opinions of some men yelling at me while driving, not all but some, especially when they follow me and try to block me and don’t take no for an answer. 

Annoying! Lol

But I want to encourage us all to attempt to have a positive perspective often. It doesn’t mean we have to like and accept everything and everyone but it doesn’t hurt to notice the good, even in people and things we don’t like. It’s a great habit to develop or strengthen.

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If we look closely enough, we can always find a splash of color even in the grayest, darkest, bluriest places.

Much love to you! ❤

Xoxo Kim 😀

Your Brain on Fiction

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I have known that reading fiction can help deepen our empathy, understanding, and compassion for real people and real life situations. I experienced this myself in some ways and it just makes sense. When we see people in real life acting certain ways that seem unusual or negative, we may be quick to judge that person. We have no idea why this person is acting this way. We don’t know exactly what is going on in that person’s life or head. But in fiction, the author let’s us into the heads and lives of the characters. We have a very good idea why the characters do certain things where in real life, we often have no idea. In fiction, we can judge less because we understand and know better.  
For example, I recently read a novel (Killing Me Softly by Bianca Sloane) where a lady is being abused by her husband in every way there is to be abused. Sexually, other physical ways (hit, knocked to the floor, locked in a closet…), emotionally (he treats her as if she is less than him), and verbally(calls her insults and things). 
This lady is basically a prisoner in her own house. The neighbors would judge her thinking she’s freaky and a weirdo. She would act strange in public, hardly speaking to anyone, even neighbors, always being in a hurry to get home, acting fearful and urgent, dressed in very bland, unusual clothing because he forced her to, out of fear that other men would be attracted to her.
These neighbors had no idea what was going on with her but we, the readers are aware and instead of judging her as being a “freak,” we can have compassion instead. 
But what if this were reality and we were the real neighbors to her. We would have no idea what’s going on with her. We couldn’t get into her head like we can when she’s the character in a novel. 
Would we judge her, think of her as the “weirdo” of the street? Would we stop and think maybe the poor girl is suffering or just needs some love & compassion?
My compassion & empathy have always been very developed in general but I notice that fiction opens me up even more.

I have also read many other realistic novels where characters would act in a bizarre or very unpleasant way, provoked by horrific things that happened to them.
Some characters, I judged negatively myself and also would have if they were real people. Some of these characters are violent or bitter or just not appealing. 
Then the authors let me into their heads, allowing me to observe and feel every emotion and thought the person has(we can’t always do this with real people because we aren’t in their heads but the characters are realistic and have similar experiences to real people), and I understood better and made it a point to try to show and have more compassion in person to real people. 

I think this is a good reminder to develop stronger compassion and understanding for people in general. Unlike in fiction, we have no idea why they do what they do. Maybe they are suffering, being abused, mentally ill….we can’t possibly know completely what someone else’s life is like. Let’s try to better understand and be slower to judge. Compassion is always good even if someone isn’t suffering, compassion as a way of life is beautiful.

I think fiction can help open our minds and help us deepen our empathy & compassion in general.

And I just discovered this essay, while reading various things about psychology, the brain, neuroscience, and studies. This happened to show up and is fascinating! 

The Neuroscience of Your Brain on Fiction by Annie Paul – mobile version

I can’t for the life of me find out how to get the non mobile/desktop link.

Maybe this?

or you can just look it up if you want:

Your Brain on Fiction
The Neuroscience of Your Brain on Fiction

By ANNIE MURPHY PAUL
MARCH 17, 2012

It brings two of my favorite things together, brain studies or research and reading fiction! Very interesting!  

It shows that while reading fiction, our brains have extremely similar reactions as when we are involved in real life situations.
The brain, in some way, can’t tell the difference even though we know it’s not real. Our brain can’t completely distinguish fantasy and fiction. Some parts of our brain takes fiction for being real. 
This is a good reason to be careful what we read. Too much horror and heavy stuff can drag us down and generate negative energy. It’s good to mix it up a bit and read things to immerse our self in positive energy. 

Also the studies suggest that reading fiction does help deepen our empathy. And to rule out the possibility that it’s just people who happen to be more empathetic who read more, the researchers accounted for that. They did studies with pre-school children. When they read stories to them, the little kids seemed to develop better understanding for real life. It makes perfect sense to me! And I think it also applies watching movies. 

I hope you are having a great day/night!
😀

Xoxo Kim ❤

May My Light Lead Me Through

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I’m reading a zombie thriller! Lol

It’s called “Savage” and the author is Iain Rob Wright. It’s purely fictional in case you’re wondering. ;-D 

I’m not even halfway through the book but I love it! 

In the book there are very few survivors who come together and do what they have to to survive, defending themselves and each other. 
It’s basically the end of the world. There are zombies around but are easy to fend off for the most part. They aren’t fast and can’t really climb anything. All the sprinters (the really fast and furious ones who can climb and charge at people…scary!) are gone now. All the survivors who came together are living on a pier with a steel gate so the zombies can’t get them. But the book is really about how there’s another group out there somewhere, of living humans just like the survivors, but this other group is a serious threat to them. Maybe even more threatening than the zombies. They don’t know they’re out there yet. I haven’t got to that part yet. 

The one character has a quote that he recites in his head, to give him inspiration and motivation when he’s in a dangerous situation. 

“Into the darkness I fade. May my light lead me through.”

Isn’t it inspiring?!

So full of hope. 

He saw it written on the ground outside of a mosque, maybe about a year or many months ago, after the initial outbreak of the zombie infection and it helps see him through the devastation and terrifying situations.

The quote is a sweet reminder that no matter how dark it gets for us, we have a light inside to guide us and all we have to do is look to that light when we are in that darkness. Whether it’s grief, depression, physical pain or sickness, anxiety, some tragedy, guilt, a zombie apocalypse, or just a “bad day” or low mood, I think that’s a great quote to remember!  

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No matter how dim it gets every now & then, keep it burning, even if it’s just a flicker, a sparkle, a sliver of a flame, it’s still fierce and can help guide us and help us help others. We can focus on the good in us and around us, do the best we can and keep going. And we can use our own light to rekindle the light of someone else in need. ❤

And if your light seems to be going out, just try to rekindle someone else's and yours is sure to burst into flames itself. ❤

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." ~Albert Schweitzer

Much love to you! ❤ 😀

Xoxo Kim 

Today – <3

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July 20, 2015 – I wrote this at work today but I’m posting after 8:00pm so it will say July 21st.It’s not. It’s Monday, July 20th. 

I woke up not in the happiest mood. Last night I was hit with a depressed mood, not the kind almost everyone experiences now and then but my real depressive disorder flaring up. First I was just angry over nothing and everything. Angry and exhausted and kind of numb. Then the pain began to sink in later. I was having dark thoughts and a night of fitful sleep and anxious feelings all over me. I kept being jolted out of my sleep, like jumping up not knowing why. It was nothing external, but in my head. There were no dreams that I know of. I usually remember my dreams. 
I kept thinking of all the negative things that ever happened to me, all the people and animals I ever knew who died(this brought me so much anxiety and pain), thinking that anyone I know can die at any second (more wretched anxiety and pain), every wrong thing I ever thought someone did to me, all of the mistakes I ever made, all the flaws I thought of in just about everyone I know, I felt jealous, lonely, and other negative emotions…i just wanted to end it all. I’m only like this when I’m very depressed, it’s not a general thing but when I get like this, it feels like it was always constant. 

Then there was this serious physical pain in my head that came out of nowhere(for a few seconds I thought something was rupturing and that I was dying. And I was happy about it. Thinking, good, just end it all now. So yes, my depression was bad.). But I wasn’t going to succumb to this vicious disease (or whatever you want to call depression).
It is a serious sickness that just devours me like being consumed by some vicious entity. It can flare up out of nowhere and linger on for months or end quickly. It has to be managed like with physical diseases. 

I decided to get to work, kick this depression in the balls, whatever it takes.
Being able to recognize it like this, that it’s depression, a true condition, and not just me being worthless is a gift. I do not always realize when I’m depressed and believe I’m just hopelessly flawed and worthless and that my life is nothing. Through the years, I learned to often detect this as depression and realize the pain or numbness and emptiness, along with other symptoms, is really the disorder and then I can do whatever I have to do to ward it off or cope as best as I can.  

 Last night/early this morning, I practiced Buddhist meditation and Mala recitation which helps greatly. The mantra I chose for these specific beads, the Mala, which I made at a workshop at the Center where I attend classes, is, 
Oṃ maṇi padme hūṃ, the mantra of compassion for all sentient beings. 

Oṃ maṇi padme hūṃ – dharma-haven.org

We can recite various mantras using one set of Mala beads but Buddhists believe that each recitation, positive energy goes into the beads and every recitation session with that mantra, adds more power to them. When we use a different mantra on the same Mala, all the energy for the previous mantra is obliterated and the power of the new mantra goes into them, then we have to start all over again if we want to go back to a different mantra. This is not that good for people who have been using one Mala for very long with the same mantra! You can just get a different Mala for each mantra. I have two, the one I made myself and one I ordered online (not as pretty! Lol)

Here’s the one I made:
I chose the colors and the beads. 

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Gorgeous, right?!

I get lots of compliments on this beautiful thing! 

Here’s the one I ordered online to help me cope with my cluster-like headaches. It only came in black. 

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Not quite as lovely but I still love it!!

The mantra I chose for this is: 

Om ah hum

This is just a quick one to keep focused and used for purification of the body, speech, and mind.

I love the idea of compassion for all living beings of sentience (even though I don’t always live up to it as much as I intend and want to) so I chose the compassion mantra for my main Mala. Also, I attended the Empowerment for the Buddha of compassion, Avalokiteshvara, last month, where the mind of whatever Buddha the Empowerment is for(like Tara, the medicine Buddha,…)in this case, Avalokiteshvara, is believed to enter our own mind,empowering us with that Buddha’s wisdom and light. So during our Empowerment (they occur once a year I think, here at the center in Philadelphia and maybe two a year in NYS at the Temple, I don’t know where else, and until we receive one by an ordained monk or nun, we cannot engage in certain Tantric practices, it’s believed we aren’t strong or wise enough and will make us sick), the mind of Avalokiteshvara is believed to enter our own minds,empowering us to love like he does, flawlessly, deeply, without condition. We still have to practice to get where he is but the Empowerment helps us get there.
His compassion for all living beings is so complete, so flawless that he can handle anything. No problem is really a problem and nothing is insurmountable when your compassion & love for the world is boundless. We look to him for strength and wisdom and love, as his flawless love runs so deep that nothing can break him. I also wear his necklace. He has four arms! Two of them are folded in prayer at his chest. And he holds a crystal Mala in one hand. He is beautiful! 

Here is my necklace:

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And here is me a couple weeks ago, wearing it but it got turned around in the pic. 

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And here is a song about love & compassion:

Compassion – mobile

Compassion – desktop

When I woke up this morning  it was better but not completely and I consciously, forcefully made lists in my head of all the good things I can think of. And tried to actually feel how good they are, not just list them.  And I read writings by Orison Swett Marden, and philosophy texts by Plato and others, and am much better! It wasn’t a full blown episode yet so I was able to work on it before it got too bad. With my condition which flares up now and again for hours, days, weeks, or months, I had to develop techniques to fend it off or just cope with it when I can’t. I’m not letting this thing get me for months now! No way! I may have to battle it for a while now until the threat of it becoming a full blown episode ends and I’m doing a good job! It’s just what I have to do and is a blessing that I can do this and learned to. It’s like a real disease with symptoms and like a whole entity inside and all around me. Crushing me in complete darkness. Way more than just a mood or attitude. But I have come a long, long way…and am here to stay! lol j/k that’s not what I was really going to write but it sounds cheesy and funny in my head so I went with it! I was really going to write I have come and long, long way and that itself inspires me to keep going and not allow the vicious darkness to consume me when I can help it! 😀 There was a day when I couldn’t do this because I haven’t yet learned how or even realized it can be possible. 

I’m reading a wonderful book by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso, “How to Solve Our Human Problems” about how to always maintain a calm, peaceful, and patient mind no matter what pain or problems we have. A problem is only a problem if we allow it to be. No matter who doesn’t like us, rejects us, or even attacks us physically. How to respond with compassion, not anger or any other unpleasant emotion. It’s a Buddhist book but much of it can be helpful to people in general. It’s entertaining and can be read philosophically for intellectual purposes but is also intended to be very practical. I am usually very patient (I have been told I have the patience of a saint! Lol) but even I can work to strengthen my virtue of patience. The book is helpful for all kinds of problems, even handling physical pain. 

I drank a cup of hot cocoa with whipped cream and chocolate syrup! Yum! 

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I’m also reading two fictional horror books! One takes place in a snow blizzard and these people, two brothers who are very close, and their girls, get trapped in it somewhere in the woods, I think, and something evil lurks there. Thrilling! I only read a few pages.  
😀
And I realized even more how empathetic I am. I’m not referring to compassion at this moment but a deep ability to feel and understand a person or situation. I’m at work with a broken air conditioner and four freezers blowing HOT air on me while it’s 90 something degrees out but is said to feel like over 100. Drinking hot chocolate. It’s like torture in here! In the book it’s Winter in Virginia and the group of friends are in a car with the heat on, all warm and cozy. Then the traffic got backed up because of an accident and a police officer came over and they had to put the window down and the author describes how a blast of bitter cold Winter air blew into the window and overpowered the heater keeping them warm. I’m serious when I say I literally felt the blast of cold air on me. Right in the face! 
For a split second I thought the air conditioner may be working again, and looked up to see if like the air conditioner came on suddenly and was colder than ever. Unfortunately no. It was just this empathy of mine. It is beautiful but it can also be a nuisance. Like when someone takes a blow to the face, even just a character in a book/movie, and I’m keeling over as if it’s me it happened to. :-/
I think this book is called “The Snow and the Darkness” but I don’t feel much like checking at the moment. Lol Just a warning, it has great reviews but someone wrote a review saying it’s overly, unnecessarily, disgusting, dark, and disturbing. I don’t like stuff that I think is that dark & disturbing but this person may have a different view about what is “overly” dark. Horror and thriller is one thing but some stuff goes overboard, imo. I don’t know what the person means by this and I already got the book so I’m reading it. But I have read books that I found so disturbing I regret reading them. I hope this isn’t one. So if you’re planning on reading it, watch it! lol

A customer at the store I work at told me I make life so complicated! Ummm…whhaaat?! lol 
He was saying it mostly in jest but he was kind of serious! I was just trying to be helpful! Lol I like to give people exactly what they want and pay for so I ask for more details than I really have to. He wanted two different flavors of water ice together so I asked in which order. 
He took so long to answer I thought he did not hear me then realized he really couldn’t decide if he wanted lemon on top or blueberry and it was a distressing dilemma! It just added another problem to his day.
I find the whole situation to be thought-provoking. And funny too. As simple as I am, I am also deep with wonderful analytical skills! But I don’t go overboard with the analyzing either. It’s a positive thing! Yes, I’m bragging! Lol 

I realized even more how one person can think something is amazing and thoughtful(my desire to get as many details as possible about how someone wants the person’s food prepared, for example) while someone else can find that same trait to be a hassle! It’s all how you look at it. Which brings me back to the book I mentioned at the top, by Venerable Geshe Kelsang, how nothing exists inherently. It’s all how we look at it. Some people find my cheerfulness to be pleasing, I get compliments on it a lot, while others find it annoying(i have been told I’m so cheerful it’s disgusting! Lol).

I’m eating Moose tracks ice cream! It has peanut butter cups! I don’t care much for food pics. Unless the food is pretty. This isn’t very pretty and it’s all melted but it’s delicious. And part of my day. So, why not?! 

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I was the stereotypical girl when I woke up. I was getting ready for work after a shower, trying to decide what, out of my like 500 shirts, to wear and thought all frantically, “I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!!” while flinging my clothes everywhere. :-p

I came out without an ounce of makeup on, my hair all ratty and pinned up wet after the shower, sticking up every which way. And don’t care if I look like hell to everyone. Lol I think I look alright. And even if I don’t, whatever. I’m a confident girl, even with ratty looking wet hair and absolutely no makeup, not even mascara or lip gloss! Confident in two ways, first, I still know I look good or at least ok. And even if I don’t, who cares?! Lol There’s worse things than someone judging my appearance. I really just can’t force myself to give a shit. oh yeah, and my hair often looks kind of wet in my pics because it is. Because I have ass-length hair that has to be put up for work and when it’s very hot or windy I put it up before going out just after a shower then when I let it down later, it is still wet. eww. I promise it’s not oily or anything! lol Ass length hair just tends to get in the way and has to be put up and I don’t wait for it to dry.

Here’s a pic of me today!

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I’m in the closet at work! Lol

And…here I am again! 

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One of the things that cheered me up is reading funny/inspiring blog posts. Just one simple uplifting/funny quote or post can do wonders for someone! If you have something to say/write, pics to share, don’t hold back! Post it now, it can really help someone immensely! Not everyone will appreciate it but even if just one does, that is enough!  And if no one does, at least you have the motivation to try. And even if no one sees it now, maybe in thirty years someone will stumble upon it! Who knows?! Once you put something out into cyberspace it’s there to stay! Even if you “delete” it. This can be good or bad. So watch what you put out there! 

My coworker came and fixed the air conditioner, something to do with the breaker and switches in the closet! I’m not the one you call if you have a practical problem. While I’m great at remaining positive in problematic situations, I’m not very independent in this sense. My automatic thought when a problem occurs is “who can I call to fix this for me?! I NEED someone!” instead of getting creative and assertive and trying myself, I run to someone else. It’s kind of embarrassing because in many situations, (like today) kids have been the ones I relied on to fix stuff for me. Like my sister and my coworkers. My sister is over ten years younger than me (like my coworker who just fixed it) and she’s a great problem solver. My sister can figure anything out and fix it, phones, exercising equipment, any kind of technology…. And I work at a store so my coworkers have been various ages, some decades older than me and some over a decade younger, through the years. And I had sixteen year old girls, take charge, and know what do do during a problem/emergency before I did! I think it’s not just about practical skills, that too, but a mentality. My mentality is “I need someone to come and help me and fix this problem…i can’t do this myself!” or “this is a man’s job/i need a big strong man to help me out, my job is just to stand here and look pretty!”  (I’m sure the rad feminists just love this one! Lol) I often feel relieved knowing someone can come and solve all my practical problems. lol oh well! I’m just not miss independent! Never have been, probably never will be. But it’s ok, we can’t all be good at everything now can we?! ;-D

I discovered some old forgotten songs by Hall & Oates, Michael McDonald, and some oldies but goodies and am now a very happy girl! ❤
I'll share a few! 

What a Fool Believes – mobile

What a Fool Believes – desktop

You Lost That Loving Feeling – mobile

You Lost That Loving Feeling – desktop

Love & Compassion – Parachute Club (mobile)

Love & Compassion – Parachute Club (desktop)

She’s Gone – Hall & Oates (mobile)

She’s Gone – desktop

Takin’ it to the streets – mobile

Takin’ it to the streets – desktop

I hope you will be happy listening to some of these too! I listened to these songs frequently when I was a young girl and some I have listened to more recently and somehow forgot about. 

I listened to a song called “The Power of Your Name,” which is a Jesus song about compassion that I discovered last night but my wifi wasn’t strong enough to let me play it. Then when I got to work today I listened to it.  You don’t have to be a Christian or Catholic person or even believe in Jesus/God to be inspired by the message. It’s about taking the compassion Jesus has for everyone and putting it out into the world, loving others as Jesus does. I love it! ❤ This message can apply to every single person, religious or not, atheist, christian, or whatever you are. 

"And I will live to carry Your compassion, to love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give with the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion to see the world be changed…" ~ Lincoln Brewster 

Awww ❤ so beautiful!!

mobile:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AwKpbbnWPgs 

desktop:

I would classify today as a good day! It did not start out very happy but I was able to take control and turn it happy by focusing on the good. Of course that will likely not always completely solve all the problems and pain we have, merely focusing on the good. But it sure helps! 

So you see, even if our day doesn't start out well, it can certainly end well! And it's not even over yet! 😀

I'm sending you lots of love & compassion today and always! ❤ <333

😀

xoxo Kim 😀

The Only Way is Up

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Wednesday was “one of those days.” You know the days where everything just seems to be going wrong?  

It wasn’t that kind of day for me but I was involved in the misfortunes of others. When I got to work, my manager was getting ready to leave. She’s on vacation for two weeks! With my boss who is her sister. To Alaska! It’s a graduation gift to my boss’ son who just graduated 8th grade. He’s the kindest, most respectful young boy. I knew him since he was a little boy. I used to help him cross the street! Now he’s going into high school! How bittersweet! He has very good manners and is very kindhearted. He chose to go to Alaska for his celebration. Yep, I’m jealous! Alaska!  

 So I am basically the manager for these two weeks! Along with doing all of my own work! I have two weeks straight (this is day number 5!) of work days with no days off! Hectic, stress, and busy, busy, busy are probably words to describe my next few days! It tends to get very busy here in the Summer. 

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Lol! This about sums it up! (it’s a screen capture of an example in Kindle dictionary because I’m like a little kid and think it’s hilarious to see curse words!). 

And here’s another one just for shitz & giggles:

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Lmao!

And the air conditioner broke in here again and it’s in the middle of a heatwave of 90 degrees and up everyday feeling like 105 degree!

so:

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Lol! I may be having a little bit too much fun(if there is such a thing…) with these things!

But I’m not complaining. I love working at the store. Being overworked, though, isn’t fun but it does have its good aspects. More money to pay bills, more interactions with people, which I love, more experience, more moments at work reading and drinking tea during breaks where there’s no customers, more ice cream…so yes! Definitely positive. 

Anyway, the order was supposed to come in for the store with all the products we need but the company who delivers the products to us was really backed up and so our order arrived very late. It should have been there in the morning or afternoon but wasn’t there til almost 6:00pm.

 When the delivery man got to the store, he was clearly stressed. And he had to block traffic with the big delivery truck. That can be infuriating to people in cars in the back. I have witnessed countless arguments outside the store, through the years, with people stuck in traffic in back of the trucks delivering our products. It’s not pleasant. People can be vicious and uncivilized. Yes it’s so annoying to be stuck in traffic especially when we really have somewhere to be and can’t be late. It can be nervewracking for sure. But yelling, cursing someone out, threatening (seriously one day the argument led to someone threatening to take a baseball bat to someone’s head! And other physical threats other days with people just walking by getting involved…), and getting physically violent over something like this (it’s kind of trivial, imo) gets us absolutely nowhere. 

The man was anxious having to hold up traffic. There was nowhere else to park near the store and he had these big heavy crates, containers, and things to carry so it wasn’t like he can park blocks away and carry all that. He wasn’t thrilled about blocking the streets. 

He just told us that someone will probably have a problem soon. Then sure as shit there was a lady at the window screaming hysterically that she has to get to work, screaming all kinds of vulgarities, every curse word she could think of. The delivery man is a very friendly man but even he can get stressed, pissed, and be fed up. So he yelled back. And this further provoked the lady which further provoked him.

It was awkward! I was stocking all of the stuff and just tried to act like I wasn’t hearing any of it while my manager was probably doing the same. Lol

After that, he apologized to everyone and mentioned that he was just having “one of those days.” He said everything was going wrong since the morning. Then he accidentally hit the cart with wheels against one of our containers filled with water to soak the utensils for the ice cream and water ice. 

The thing tipped over spilling water everywhere across the entire floor. The poor man, I could see, felt absolutely terrible. He was visibly embarrassed and feeling guilty. Just one more unfortunate event in a series of many for him that day. And to top it off, he just got back off his own vacation. Coming back after a vacation isn’t really fun for many people but coming back to a hectic environment makes it all the more distressing. 

My manager kept reassuring him it was no problem and can easily be taken care of. My manager and me cleaned it all up. And she laughed, provoking me to laugh, because it really was kind of funny.

And sometimes we just have to laugh to brighten things up a bit. Laughter really can be the best medicine!

When the man was leaving he told us that this day can’t get any worse. Then he thought about it and said “you know, that just means it can only get better, let’s look at it that way.”

He was still clearly in a low mood but was still able to see a spark of hope and keep a positive attitude. 

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And again I was reminded that it’s really all about our attitude. Instead of viewing our “bad days” in a negative light that they can’t get worse, we can instead view them in a positive light that if they can’t get worse they can only get better! Or stay the same. Lol But even then we can focus on the gems of beauty and hope scattered throughout. And if they really can get worse then we can remind ourselves that our day isn’t so bad after all if there’s still room for it to be worse. It doesn’t mean it will get worse. And if it does, no matter what happens there’s something good to be thankful for. Let’s focus on that. 

Also, the fact that he took responsibility and apologized after the little conniption, is inspiring and a reminder that we cannot and should not control others, generally, even when they are wrong. But we can control our own reactions and say sorry if we overreact. Whether or not we were/are wrong, we can still make amends and be the one to take responsibility. Offer them the victory and accept defeat upon our self. Not out of a sense of guilt or low self esteem but out of true compassion and desire to make things better for everyone. 

So here’s my little life lessons/reminders for the day! 😀 ❤

I hope your day is going well and if not, remember, the only way is up! ❤ 😀

Xoxo Kim ❤

p.s.

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lol

;-D

50 Shades of Happy

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When I was at work last night I saw a newspaper that says “50 Shades of Happy” (about coloring). It inspires me to list fifty things that elicit happiness for me.

Here goes! 

1.) rainbow sprinkles! Especially on vanilla ice cream & cupcakes! Oh my! How delicious and pretty! 

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2.) puppy kissies!

3.) rainbows

4.) conversations and tea with friends 

5.) cupcakes!

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6.) tofu!

7.) a full moon

8.) creepy ghost stories! 

9.) Kindle app!

10.) clear blue sky 

11.) unexpected rain

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12.) packages arriving in the mail

13.) hearing an old forgotten song or a new song/song I haven’t yet heard, that I love! Especially when that new song/song I haven’t heard before now, is called Kimberly! 

“Kimberly baby, you make me crazy!” lol 

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Kimberly by D. Hiam – mobile

Kimberly by D. Hiam – desktop

Or Kimberley (it’s close enough!) 

“You see Kimberly was special, a rare and wild soul
Nearly every man who met her, their hearts she always stole…”

“You know I got to have this kim, I cant get her off my mind
And I aint gonna stop until shes mine, mine…”

 It’s a beautiful political song about wanting to save the land called Kimberley in Australia against too much Industrialization. It’s about greed and selfishness and too much division and arguing. But he writes/sings as if it’s about a girl who everyone loves and craves. It has a deep message and some parts of it can be applied to life in general. Forget the politics and message and all and we’ll just pretend it’s about me! Lol!  I got nothing against cowboys though! He seems to have a little something going against them in the song! But I don’t! lol ;-D

Kimberley – John Butler – mobile

Kimberley – John Butler – desktop

And there’s quite a few more songs involving my name! Yay! One is Kimberly by Marques Houston. I discovered this gem a few years ago. It’s a sexy, risqué song:

“Come along with me cus my ride don’t stop
We can make love that the neighbours watch
Open up the blinds let the whole world see”

Lol funny!

But my favorite line is:

“…more than just physical (its more than just physical Kimber…)
Deep inside of every woman there’s a Kimberly
She’s incredible… (She’s incredible)”

Kimberly by MH – mobile

Kimberly by MH – desktop

14.) photography – looking at people’s photos inspires me! And I love taking pics myself! I want to be a photographer one day! 

15.) my kitty with her tongue sticking out!
 Lol 

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16.) hot tea

17.) iced coffee

18.) flowers – especially when they have little kritters on their petals

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19.) warm blankets

20.) Christmas songs! How cheerful! 😀

21.) pumpkin flavored coffee in the Fall! How thrilling!  

22.) helping people 

23.) random acts of kindness 

24.) being in a room full of people or surrounded by lots of people in some way – doesn’t matter if I know them or not or if I’m interacting with them or not- it’s so uplifting and energizing 

25.) a long thrilling conversation with a stranger 

26.) hugs!

27.) snails walking on me

28.) my long hair blowing in the wind 

29.) taking pictures of buildings 

30.) comedy movies

31.) cherry water ice!

32.) connecting with people on social media accounts 

33.) seeing/hearing/reading about good things that happen for people – I’m very empathetic and soak up everyone else’s happiness & pleasure. It reminds me of that episode of “King of Queens” when that girl Kirstie is guest starring and she’s on a diet or something and won’t let herself indulge in some sweet confections and so she insists that the girl, Carrie, eats it for her so she can watch and feel the pleasure herself just using her empathy! Lol that can be me!

34.) philosophy texts 

35.) walking in perfect “walking weather” – perfect to me is not too hot or too cold, not too windy, and also a light rainy mist

36.) a sky full of stars

37.) jumping on a trampoline!  

38.) makeup! Especially eye makeup!

39.) the sounds of construction work outside! Yes, I love it! Lol

40.) the Earthy scent right before and after it rains, yum!

41.) the first glistening snowfall of the season

42.) reading a book at night with my dogs in bed

43.) getting new fruity body mist or body wash/hair soap/conditioner/lotion

44.) tropical scents 

45.) rain droplets on flower petals & leaves

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46.) watching a sunset or sunrise

47.) cool nights/windy nights

48.) uncontrollable belly laughs 

49.) Buddha statues/figures/pictures

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The man is seriously PEACEFUL! Day & night without exception. Totally has his shizz together.

50.) colorful socks!  😀

Nothing wrong with letting the little kid in us run wild and see wonder in everything we look at! 

I am disappointed to get to fifty already! It was so easy and I can go on & on! If I ever try to list things I don’t like, it’s much harder! My mind is generally so focused on what I do like! 😀 I guess that’s how you know you have a good life, when it’s so much easier to list happy things than unhappy things! I certainly have a list of things I dislike but it wasn’t easy to create that one and not as uplifting to write/read. But things we dislike are part of us too and no sense denying it! It’s all about our focus, attitude, and reaction. I am so much happier though, reading lists of things people love than the things they can’t stand.  

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What is your 50 shades of happy?

😀

Much love to you! ❤

Xoxo Kim ❤