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You are the music…

Jan11

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“You are the music while the music lasts.” ~
(edited: Rumi – not T.s quote!)

Today I woke up very early after only three hours of sleep. It was still dark out and very windy and rainy and freezing cold! Just yesterday it was like 60 degrees! Lol

Now today it’s 30 something degrees.

Wth? Lol 😀

I woke up to the windchimes sounding in the backyard.  So beautiful.

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I felt peace & inner calm and a deep connection to the musical wind. 

I remembered this quote above. It’s a lovely quote that can be interpreted different ways. 

It’s perfect for my one word challenge. (my word is beauty)

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I don’t function well at all with only a few hours of sleep. I always needed a lot of hours of sleep in one night, like nine or ten! 

But I woke up in a great mood still! After the shower and brushing my teeth I was afraid to look in a mirror before leaving for work. Lol 

I don’t always look fabulous after not getting enough sleep or getting too much sleep. My face breaks out, my throat gets sore, my eyes have dark circles or bags around them, I look tired and just a wreck with not enough sleep! And my hair falls out in clumps!

Today instead of putting my makeup on, I worked on my one word challenge even though I wanted to put makeup on. I should have gotten up earlier (and went to sleep earlier.)

So I dreaded looking in a mirror!  

But I did and was surprised. I don’t look half bad! Lol Probably not perfect but quite alright for only three hours of sleep and not an ounce of makeup to cover up any blemishes.

Here’s a couple pictures.

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Also yesterday was very warm and I celebrated with an iced coffee! Today is very cold and I’m celebrating with a hot blueberry coffee! I’m at work for my manager while she’s away. I’m here alone reading books, drinking blueberry coffee, laughing all by myself! Lol ❤

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I’m reading a fiction mystery thriller Kindle book (but I think it can be ordered as a physical book as well?) about a serial killer who dresses as Santa and creeps around with an ax killing just about anyone she can. (admit it – when you saw “serial killer,” you automatically assumed the thing is a man, right? They are usually men both in reality & in fiction, it seems. But a lil lady can bring just as much destruction!) It’s in December. She’s a young woman with orange/red hair. People think she’s a mental patient who recently got out of a mental hospital after ten years. 
It’s called Santa Took Them. After they are murdered, the words “Santa took them” are written on the wall in blood. Ten years ago on Christmas Eve, a little girl’s family was murdered in a most grusome way and somehow she survived and ended up in their neighbor’s house. She was so traumatized she was hospitalized in a mental hospital for children for ten years then released because she’s 18 years old. She goes to live with her uncle and his girlfriend who are then murdered in a similar fashion as her family years ago and on the wall says the same thing, “Santa took them.” And the girl vanishes without a trace. Many people think she killed her family all those years ago and now her uncle and his girlfriend. But their heads were all chopped off and she was eight years old. Can an eight year old cut four people’s heads off? It takes place in a small town where homicide is virtually unheard of. Now some people see a Santa girl creeping around the woods and the house where the family was murdered. And a couple teenagers and some adults go missing. And all kinds of weird shit keeps happening. It’s one creepy story! It’s really good, a page turner for sure.

I think in murder mystery fiction books there’s two characters who won’t turn out to be the murderer if the author is good at writing mysteries. The character who seems most likely to be the one. And the character who seems least likely to be the one. The author doesn’t want to make it obvious who the killer is. So the character we just “know” is it, likely isn’t.
But in a way, the character who is least likely to be the killer is kind of obvious because we know how fictional murder mysteries go. They are supposed to be shocking. But knowing this, we may assume it’s the most innocent seeming or weakest person who will be the killer. 
It’s definitely not the explicitly obvious one unless the author suspects we’ll suspect it’s the obvious one, therefore assuming it’s not since it’s so obvious, then decides to make the most obvious one the actual killer because we’ll never see it coming.

That would be disappointing! 

Am I rambling?

It’s interesting because in the beginning of this book there’s a quote by Dr. Sam Loomis. Do you recall who he is? Maybe you haven’t seen the movie. He’s the character in the movie, Halloween, the mental health doctor for Michael, the killer. He says “Death has come to your little town sheriff.” And the author of “Santa Took Them” has that quote in this book on the first page. And in this book, the mental patient’s mental health doctor is also named Dr. Sam Loomis, short for Samantha! I like how he made her a woman with the same name! And same kind of doctor! And the girl is named Michelle and I think that’s a feminine form of Michael. I wonder if there’s anymore little details taken out of Halloween and put in this book with little changes! Maybe the whole book is full of them!

My sister and me before were saying how hilarious it would be to write a really fascinating mystery book with an intentionally sucky ending just for shitz & gigglez. I can’t stop laughing when I think about it. Like a serious mystery that people can’t wait to see unfold then at the end it makes no sense or just cuts off abruptly and says “the end” and there’s no real explanation. Or like if it’s a murder mystery, a realistic one then at the end the murderer turns out to be a flying hot dog or a ghost when the story isn’t a supernatural one. People would be so pissed and want their money back! And their time! Lmao

You think you read books with lousy endings before, you haven’t seen it yet! j/k Luckily for the world I’m not a writer (except here lol), not now, not ever. But my sister is and hopes to publish books and write films one day. She wouldn’t really do that sucky ending thing though! It’s just a funny fantasy. ;-D

Anyway, I just love fiction murder mysteries! (but never real ones) It’s disgusting isn’t it?! My guilty pleasure!

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I’m listening to Tom Jones singing

She’s A Lady – mobile / desktop and it’s a great song! But a bit condescending wouldn’t you say?

“I never would abuse her…”?? Really? No shit, Tom! The way he says it like it’s even an option!

&

“She never asks very much and I don’t refuse her.” Why should she have to ask him for anything like it’s his place to refuse her. He’s not her master!

She always knows her place?
She’s never in the way?

Excuse me??

I can leave her on her own?
What is she your dog or your child or something.

lol But I love the song & music!
Another Guilty pleasure!

😀

Much love,

Xoxo Kim ❤

p.s. I don’t know the end yet of “Santa Took Them” but I have a suspicion of how it will pan out and I would love to write it but I don’t want to in case someone is reading it or planning to, I don’t want to influence the person’s perception but if you don’t mind, I’m going to share my suspicion which may be completely incorrect.

Possible spoil alert

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I think maybe the mental patient, Michelle, has a dissociative disorder and like a split personality and is killing them but doesn’t consciously know she’s the one killing them. Anyway, I can’t wait to see! 😀

Blowing through the jasmine in my mind

Jan10

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“See the curtains hangin’ in the window, in the evenin’ on a Friday night.
A little light a-shinin’ through the window, lets me know everything is alright.
Summer breeze, makes me feel fine, blowing through the jasmine in my mind.”

Today is like bordering on Summer here in Philadelphia! And I love it! Often, I don’t even want to think of Summer in Winter! But today is a beautiful taste of the soothing Spring & Summer to come.

How lovely!

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I have this song on my mind today! I love the images it inspires in my head.

Summer Breeze – Seals & Crofts – mobile

Summer Breeze – desktop

I see visions of green and floral beauty and sunny skies and fragrant air upon my skin! ❤ ❤

As I mentioned, my word for the one word challenge is Beauty. So today I made it a point to focus even more on the beauty of this lovely imitation of a sweet Summer day and take note of it by writing in my one word journal and writing about it here.

I’m also celebrating at work with a sweet iced coffee!

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Tomorrow, I hear it’s going back to below freezing! So I’ll be sure to soak up every bit of the warmth I can today!

All last night & into the early morning (for a couple nights now), the next door neighbors were blasting music so loudly I heard and felt it vibrating through the walls as I was in bed reading then drifting off to sleep. I did not mind. I like hearing people awake in the night while I lay in my dark room in bed. I like hearing them talking, laughing, playing, music…

Some people think it’s a lot of nerve blasting music at that hour. And well I guess it is. But I was pleased to hear it as I was falling asleep. It’s not the kind of music I would ever listen to intentionally but that’s ok.

“See the paper layin’ in the sidewalk, a little music from the house next door.
So I walked on up to the doorstep, through the screen and across the floor.
Summer breeze, makes me feel fine, blowing through the jasmine in my mind.”

These lyrics remind me of it. Lol

Here are five beautiful things I encountered today.

1.) a light, misty rain

2.) this shopping bag mixed in with all the bags we use for work. “Thank you” when said or felt genuinely, are very powerful words. What a great reminder to give thanks.

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3.) a sweet girl and her husband who came to my workplace for ice cream today. They were both so friendly and happy together. What a pleasant encounter! And to top it off, she was wearing lovely stiletto boots!

4.) my phone is so full of photos, e-mails, and everything else. It’s in desperate need of a cleanse but I want to save a lot of photos before I delete them so I send them to my photobucket account first. One did not go through and a red circle showed up in my e-mail box next to the e-mail that did not go through. I can’t stand when that happens. It pisses me off. My e-mail box has thousands upon thousands of e-mails, mostly junk. But I like getting so many because there’s also inspiring messages and stuff that come through. But it can be hard to find certain e-mails I’m looking for in the midst of all that. I sent one of my pictures to photobucket then deleted it out of my phone then later decided I wanted the picture back on my phone to share here. Using my phone, it’s hard sometimes to save my pictures off of photobucket after I put them on. So I decided to look back through my sent e-mails to find the photo in my inbox when I sent it but since there’s hundreds and the e-mails aren’t named, it would be hard to find. But the ugly red circle indicating that my e-mail did not go through, helped me more quickly find the other e-mail I was searching for since I know it was close to that one in my inbox. So I just scanned my inbox quickly til I saw the ugly red circle then knew the e-mail I wanted was close. Turns out the ugly red circle isn’t so ugly after all! Lol I don’t know if any of this seems to make sense but basically something I was pissed at turned out to work in my favor! Yay!! When something that seems unpleasant doesn’t naturally work out in our favor, we can get creative and look for ways to use it to our advantage!


5.) for some reason this light rainy, warm day triggered pleasant memories of college. I was severely depressed back then, somewhat often but along with my very painful memories I also have beautiful, very pleasant memories of those days. There were so many happy days as well. This day inspires a very pleasant memory of another rainy day in my first year of college. But that other day, it wasn’t Winter, it was early Fall, I think, or the end of Summer. And it wasn’t a light rain, it was a heavy thunderstorm and very dark. There is nothing significant about this day back in college. It wasn’t a holiday or anything out of the ordinary. It was my first semester ever in college. I remember I was sad and missing high school and all the people I knew in my old school but still happy to be in college and definitely happy about my experiences there. I had a Criminal Justice paper that had to be turned in that day and I waited til the last minute then my printer wouldn’t work! So I decided to go to campus hours early to work on it before class that day. I had to write it all over to print out. My dad drove me to campus that early morning while it was still dark out before going to his work. I loved the dark and rain and going to campus early. There were very few people there that early and while I sometimes felt lonely back then being physically alone, that morning, I loved my own company. I loved the feeling of novelty. I was full of hope and curiosity about college even with my sadness and longing for high school. I loved my classes already. I was so young, only eighteen years old! Every rainy day now doesn’t inspire me to recall that day in college, most do not. But for some reason today inspired that pleasant memory. I’m so thankful! Savoring our memories and truly feeling them can inspire in us whatever emotion we felt back then. If you tap into your memory of your wedding day or the day you gave birth or your first day of college or moving into a new house, whatever pleasant experience you recall….really tune in, you can feel those same emotions ripple through you even if you haven’t felt them in so long. That’s a great technique for practicing gratitude, recalling old occasions we felt gratitude and truly allowing them to surface and flow through us. It can also bring a pang of sadness, longing, nostalgia of course but that’s ok! That’s beautiful too.

😀

Thank you to every single person who reads, likes, “likes,” follows, shares…my content!! I deeply appreciate it always!! ❤ 😀

I hope you are having a beautiful day/night wherever you are and basking in all the beauty around & within whatever the weather is like. We can always bring our own sunshine & rain. ❤

Much love,

Xoxo Kim

In your light

Jan8

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“In your light I learn how to love. In your beauty, how to make poems. You dance inside my chest where no-one sees you, but sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art.”~ Rumi

I love this beautiful quote! It’s breathtaking. I chose this today because my word for the One Word challenge this year is Beauty.

This quote is a perfect example of beauty.

I will be posting soon about the “One Word” challenge and the word I chose.

Much love,

❤
xoxo Kim

The Life Before Her Eyes

Jan3

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“As much as we can be overwhelmed by the world, we can also draw hope from it, from beauty, from promise, from the simple fact that we have the talent to imagine our future selves from all the possible lives that pass before our eyes. We must imagine our lives well. We must engage our conscience.”

Some years ago, I watched a movie called “The Life Before Her Eyes” over & over. I love movies that have to do with friendship. This movie is a very sad movie but very good. It’s about two high school girls who are best friends, one is a “good girl” and the other is a “bad girl” but they are the best of friends. Their friendship is so tender and loving and warm and even after they get into an argument. The girls do a great job playing the part. A true friendship like this one is a great blessing! I think platonic friendship is one of the greatest gifts in life.

A kid comes to school one day with a gun and kills a lot of people, including one of the girls. The other girl develops severe post traumatic stress and struggles with her loss, guilt, and anxiety and caring for her family after she grows up with a family of her own years later. She can’t let go of the past and overcome it and move forward. I wouldn’t expect someone to completely forget that her best friend was murdered and all those other people and wouldn’t expect her grief to go away but it’s possible to heal to a certain point. She has a lot of difficulty. I recently watched the movie again. 

This line above is out of one of the scenes. Isn’t it inspiring? So full of hope & beauty.

I love how many scenes in this movie can be analyzed and interpreted, like they have underlying meanings.

It’s a great movie but I would never recommend it to someone who has ever been involved in a school (or any) massacre, especially one involving gun violence. It may be a serious trigger.

I hope you are having a beautiful day/night!

😀

Much love & light, ❤

Xoxo Kim 

Currently……<3

Jan2

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One of those fun bloggy surveys!

Currently….

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Book: Fatal Decision by John Greenwood- a Kindle book. seriously the most terrifying book I ever read! I’m not through with it yet and it’s very disturbing. I can feel all the terror and emotions along with the characters. It’s not gory or anything (which I prefer – I do not like gory) but the plot is horrifying. A mom and dad of a thirteen year old little boy find that someone went to their son’s school pretending to be his uncle and kidnaps the boy. The father later receives an anonymous phone call by a man telling him not to tell the police he has contact with the kidnappers or they’ll kill his child. Then the man tells the dad he has to kill an innocent person or he’ll not see his son alive again. Either way, the kidnappers will give his boy back but if the dad doesn’t kill the innocent person for them, his son will be brought back dead. If he kills the innocent person, his son will be brought back alive and well. Holy Hell!! And the kidnappers keep killing innocent people to show how serious they are. They have no problem killing. They stalk the boy’s dad and see almost everything he does and know where he is each moment of everyday so they’ll likely know if he tells the police he talks to them. They even see in his house! He doesn’t know how and when he looks around he cannot see them anywhere. The book is very good. It does have quite a few spelling/grammatical errors. Books I read usually do not have this many. I’m no grammar phanatic but it’s surprising that a published book has so many. I can’t (truthfully) say the book is very well written in my opinion, in some way, but in another way it is. The author captures the terrible emotions of the parents extremely well. The characters are very much alive, in my opinion. I can imagine real parents who lose children, reacting the same way, experiencing the same breakdowns and agony. They are very realistic. Some characters in some books are one-dimensional or emotionless seeming. I usually stop reading them when they are. I read part of a fiction book before with a fascinating plot including a little girl going missing and something strange keeps happening but I stopped reading it because the parents have no emotion, not like being shocked and emotionless after a tragedy but they just have no life in them even before the child went missing. It’s like the author wasn’t empathetic enough while writing it to portray real emotions through fiction writing. I don’t recommend books before completing them but I will probably recommend this one to those who don’t mind errors all throughout and less than superb writing. It’s still a great book! It has great reviews too, almost 5 stars out of 5 and 94 people reviewed it. It has 187 pages. I usually prefer them longer but it’s ok! Right now, I still give it 5 stars!

Also a book called “The Philosophy of the Enlightenment” by Ernst Cassirer. Very interesting! 😀

Nail polish: still painted for Christmas! One hand green and the other red! All chipped up now!

Favorite drink: iced tea, coca cola – same as always

Photo: Me on New Year’s Eve!

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& me on New Year Day:

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Guilty pleasure: fictional horror mystery books! Ahh!! ;-D And Christmas cookies on sale! Lol I got up at 2:00 in the morning one morning recently and ate a whole bag while reading a scary book in the dark with my dogs! Fun!

Thing thankful for: I’m thankful for my attitude or feeling that everything works out so well for me. Since I was very young, I have often felt that things just fall into place easily for me. I’m mostly referring to all the little things. I don’t believe in luck but I have always felt “lucky.”
I got to go to the University I always wanted to go to. It’s the only one I applied to. When things of mine break, they usually start working again right when I need them. I usually don’t have to wait too long for a bus I’m waiting for even if I wasn’t looking at the schedule. Whenever I want something at a store, they usually have it….stuff like this. It’s not always that things work out perfectly for me. Sometimes I’m waiting for a bus in zero degree weather for over an hour. Sometimes a store is out of stuff I really, really need/want. But I remember even being in Kindergarten when I was five years old and feeling as if I’m so “lucky” and everything works out in my favor. I can even remember a couple of things I thought of as examples back then! I still feel this way, even right now. I think it’s not just external things working out well but my attitude. I have a strong attitude of gratitude. Even with depression when it would flare up. I can’t feel it to the fullest usually like I do when I’m not depressed but still I feel it often even when I’m severely depressed. The thing is, with depression it’s often hard to focus on that gratitude but it’s possible. Gratitude is so healing. When I truly focus on not only the things to be thankful for but my thankfulness for them, even when I can’t feel it as strongly, it really touches my depression and sometimes lifts it a little bit or even a lot. I never have bad days because even on the rare days where it seems one thing after another goes wrong, I am soon reminded of all the things that go right.
Even on those days where one thing after another goes wrong, one thing after another also goes right. And I usually automatically see that but when I don’t, I try to intentionally focus on it.
When I’m not suicidal, I think any day I’m alive is a good day and when I am suicidal, I can still think of the things going right. I couldn’t always do this when I would be suicidal. I used to know of all my good things but just ignore them for the bad, often. Sometimes good things would keep popping out at me over n over and I would deny them because I was so depressed. But through the years I learned more and more to focus on the good. Even when I want to die, I can still see good. It just doesn’t take away my despair or sense of worthlessness and purposelessness always but does me good still. Gratitude is the best attitude for depression! It’s stronger than depression if we allow it to be. It’s a great attitude for anyone with or without depression. If you don’t have it naturally like I do, you can develop it and if you already have an attitude of gratitude, you can strengthen it or make it more frequent. And if you already live in complete, boundless gratitude every second of every day, that’s amazing! (but probably very rare) 😀 ❤
Richard Branson once said “I was born under a lucky star…” He is a very rich man financially but also in his attitude about life. And I don’t think his money has to do with it. I think he is just a happy man with a great attitude, money or not. We can all have that attitude. His statement “I was born under a lucky star” inspires me. I feel the same way and when I forget, I just remind myself that. And I’m what some people can call “dirt poor” financially(I don’t even have phone service! But I don’t mind!). Lol! So it’s not the money! This goes to show even more that depression isn’t just about being spoiled & ungrateful. An attitude adjustment can do us good but depression is more than just that.

Drink – a “no name” brand of root beer. Isn’t that so weird?! I never liked root beer for as long as I can remember but when I’m sick, I crave it. It’s so weird. It’s actually called Tubz and reminds me of my dog, Isis Summerjo, my fuzzy sausage girl! Little kids often call her piggy or the piggy dog! lol

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Fashion: hmmm…I know nothing about fashion! lol

Laughing at: the Buddhist class I attended for New Year’s Eve was funny! Our teacher is really funny; I laughed a lot! Lol ;-D

Also this,

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(cute picture but it’s not mine!)

Fear: I’m not afraid of anything at the moment!

Weather: a bit cold. Just the way I like it! 😀

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Grateful for: my good physical health – I have a sinus thing going for the last few days but generally my physical health is great. And for the good physical health of everyone else who isn’t sick. ❤

Feeling: more uplifted than I have been. Writing here is inspiring! I mostly like to write for others who will potentially come across it but it’s also good for me! ❤

Looking forward to: a new Kindle book released next month! A fiction suspense thriller! I been waiting seven months! Ahhh!! ;-D Book 3 in a series by Dr.Carey Baldwin. Totally can’t wait!! I have a big, bright smile just thinking about it! 😀

Thank You everyone for the comments, likes, shares….I always appreciate it! ❤

Much love,

xoxo Kim

Oh, Soul

Jan1

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“Oh soul,
you worry too much.
You have seen your own strength.
You have seen your own beauty.
You have seen your golden wings.
Of anything less,
why do you worry?
You are in truth
the soul, of the soul, of the soul.” ~Rumi ❤

I have been struggling with a severe episode of depression. The darkness has descended on me again and has felt unbearable. It started a few weeks ago but is worse now. I have recurrent episodes. This one started out gradually getting worse now seems like it may be ending. The most severe ones I have usually begin & end slowly with the worst of it in the middle. This is one of the worst ones. It's one of the ones where I can hardly feel any sense of pleasure in anything. Everything is dull, worn out. Music has no sound. Food has no flavor. My memory is just about non existent (except for all the bad things that ever happened to me…in this way it's perfect!) I can still find things amusing but not to the depth I usually do. It's hard to explain but with severe depression it's like everything is covered in plastic like that kind that food gets wrapped in and sometimes we can smell the food through the wrapper but it's dull because the plastic blocks out most of the scent. Or like a common cold when we lose most of our sense of taste but maybe catch a hint of it.
This is what severe depression is often like for me.
Even with it, I can often still laugh, even belly laughs sometimes. But there's something "dull" about it and it's not the same full laughs usually as I have when I'm not depressed. 
Even with severe depression, I can sometimes truly laugh and smile. Just because we're depressed or kill ourselves or try, doesn't mean all our smiles & laughing is/was fake or to cover up the pain. We are still us. Depression can't take away all that I am even when it seems to.

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I learned how to handle them better than I used to and I'm not constantly depressed anymore but it's very bad now. Some moments are ok then other moments I'm sure I'm going to kill myself and have a plan and all. I'm afraid to try it in case it doesn't work and triggers my physical pain disorder to flare up. That's all I need, right?! I don't want to do a half-assed job and mess things up even worse. But I keep holding on waiting for it to get better, waiting for it to end, either my life or the depression. Some moments I don't want it to get better, I just want it all to end, good, bad, everything. And I keep doing things to help myself like positive things and interesting things to distract my mind. It helps a little bit but it's hard to find the desire or motivation to do anything. But I force myself. My whole body feels heavy like something crushing me and my head feels so heavy. This episode is not triggered by anything specifically. It's not triggered by the holidays or anything. I love the holidays! And they cheer me up a little bit. It's just a deep, deep despair about nothing and everything.  A wretched kind of agony some occasions and almost numb other occasions. Nothing in my external environment has changed but inside my head is Hell. I can't wait for it to end. 

But today is much, much better than yesterday! So much better! I listened to some uplifting songs that helped a lot. Depression is biochemical as well as psychological and with practice and positive habits, we can learn to help ourselves and cope well. Not all depressed people can just listen to a happy song and be cheered up and I can't always do that. And not all depressed people can just think positively and be better but with practice, it's possible we can learn to handle it better with positive techniques like happy playlists and meditation.
I think gratitude and meditation can affect brain chemistry. It's not just things we put into our body that affect its chemistry but things we think and do. 

This quote I find so beautiful and reminds me that if we once felt something, we can feel it again no matter how long it has been or how deep our sorrow or despair is now. My cover photo on Facebook says "Life is beautiful" and I have a bracelet that says it as well. Whenever I'm in despair and see my bracelet or cover photo I am reminded that I once felt that life is beautiful and can feel that way again. 

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“Oh soul,
you worry too much.
You have seen your own strength.
You have seen your own beauty.
You have seen your golden wings.
Of anything less,
why do you worry?
You are in truth
the soul, of the soul, of the soul.” ~Rumi ❤

I have seen & felt my own strength, my own beauty, my golden wings so I know they are here with me and I will see them again. Even if now all I see is ugliness and weakness and all I feel are broken wings, I know some sort of strength dwells beneath the weakness and through my ugliness are glimpses of deep beauty within, and even with broken wings I will learn to fly again. 

This quote has managed to inspire me in some deep way even in the midst of this seemingly impenetrable depression. 

I want to share it here, not only because it helps me to write and share but more because it has the potential to touch someone else who may see it some day, now or later. 

Also I want to share two songs I find so uplifting. They really impact my mood for the better. 

Eye of the Tiger – Survivor- mobile

Eye of the Tiger – desktop

This song will get you pumped! If not the message, definitely the music! But I feel that it’s the perfect music for the perfect message. Some years ago, my friend at work died and I was inconsolable. This is one of the songs that helped me cope with my devastating loss. And it helps me with my devastating episodes of depression and headaches. I hope it inspires you too! 😀

Living Colour – Glamour Boys – mobile

Living Colour – Glamour Boys – desktop

This song, I shared on Facebook recently. It’s a mixture of funny, uplifting, & inspiring. The music is upbeat and also the lyrics and video are funny. There is some wisdom to the way those glamour boys live! Not thinking about tomorrow, always laughing, always dancing….lol! They sure know how to have fun! ;-D

Depression really sucks but I feel I may be winning this battle.

So, I hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever you are and hope you’re not struggling like me but if you are, whether it’s depression, something not so severe or something even worse, remember your beauty, your strength, your golden wings…..and hold on, keep going! 

❤

Much love,

Xoxo Kim 

New Year’s Eve

Dec31

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I find the scene funny and it makes me giggle. ;-D 

I love how they included the red cups with all the New Year stuff for when people have their drunken celebrations! 😀

Anyway, I hope it’s a safe and happy one! I hope with everything I have in me there are no tragic accidents like people overdosing on alcohol, getting hit with stray bullets, driving recklessly and killing themselves or others. Every year, along with the thrill of holidays and celebrations and things, there’s also horrible accidents and senseless deaths that could have easily been prevented. I hope it’s a happy start of a new year for EVERYONE and especially a safe one. ❤ ❤ 

Here is something I share here every year. It's inspiring and uplifting!

In Sarah Ban Breathnach’s “Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort and Joy,” she writes:

“January, the month of new beginnings and cherished memories, beckons. Come, let winter weave her wondrous spell: cold, crisp, woolen-muffler days, long dark evenings of savory suppers, lively conversations, or solitary joys. Outside the temperature drops as the snow falls softly. All of nature is at peace. We should be, too. Draw hearthside. This is the month to dream, to look forward to the year ahead and the journey within.”

She also writes, “…time is the New Year’s bountiful blessing: three hundred sixty-five bright mornings and starlit evenings; fifty-two promising weeks; twelve transformative months full of beautiful possibilities; and four splendid seasons. a simply abundant year to be savored.” 

We don’t have to wait for a new year to begin to be inspired to change for the better or to be motivated to try new things. The start of a new year is just made up or a social construct. We can just as soon change our mindset, lifestyle, anything, in the middle of July. And we can keep up the same old habits into the new year. It’s not about the date but about our inner power and desire, motivation & inspiration, which we can tap into any moment of any day of the year.  Each moment, each breath is a chance for new beginnings. But the new year is symbolic of restored hope and new beginnings. So let’s let it inspire us to feel hope, love, and empowered.

Isn’t the prospect of a New Year thrilling?! I just love the feel of it each year. I have always found it thrilling but tinged with sadness. I never liked saying goodbye, not even to a number given to a year. I would think it’s sad no longer living in the year 1996, 2002, 1999….whatever it was even though it was also happy. But for the last couple of years, I don’t feel that pang of sadness as much. I haven’t experienced as much wistfulness or nostalgia and I’m not in the mood for it either. Nostalgia and longing can be both beautiful and sad. Bittersweet. 

But I’m not always looking to experience bittersweet emotions. Sometimes just sweet is fantastic. 

Also, in 2016, there will be an extra day! 366 bright mornings & starlit evenings! An extra day full of beauty, hope, opportunities, & love!!

😀

Today, at least here in Philadelphia(and quite a few other places), it’s still 2015 though so let’s not forget to cherish these last moments of this year, soak up all the beauty & magic of Now.

And here’s a song for you just because….:-D ❤

I Just Called – Stevie Wonder – mobile

I Just Called – desktop

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Happy Ney Year’s Eve!! ❤
I'm off to Buddhist meditation class later tonight and hope you are having a beautiful day or night wherever you are. ❤

Much love,

Xoxo Kim 

Beauty of Darkness

Dec30

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“I like the darkness. There’s something to the feeling of not knowing your surroundings, not seeing the color of things as they appear, but as they truly are. There’s something about the unknown, the quiet, the cold. There’s something unspoken about the dark, something I can never quite put words to. Something terrifying yet beautiful.” ❤

~Hugs & love~ ❤

😀

xoxo Kim