“We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.” ~Rumi
I love this quote. My mind conjures up images of something unstoppable. It’s a great reminder that we have the power within to do & be great things no matter what our circumstances are. We can come out of nothingness and unleash that greatness.
Love & light to you….
❤ ❤
xoxo Kim
“You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from passing over your head, but you can prevent their making a nest in your hair.” ~ Chinese Proverb
I love this! We cannot always control what happens to us but we can choose how to react. Sadness and negativity will probably occur for most of us but we don’t have to let it conquer us.
What a great reminder! 😀
hugs & love,
xoxo Kim ❤
“I have discovered gold in a creekbed as thick as sin in Goldstrike. I do not count it yet as either a blessing or a curse. Time will tell. Gold is an able servant but a cruel master.” (Hunter Bell’s Diary, June 6, 1857 p. 88)
I’m reading a novel called “The Looking Glass” by Richard Paul Evans, and found this quote in it on page 88. I’m not on page 88, I just started reading it but it has quotes throughout so I was flipping through the pages and this one struck me with its deep wisdom and I just knew I have to share it!
It’s true money can bring us a kind of happiness and solve our problems if our problems are financial related. I wouldn’t be happier in general if I just won billions of dollars but I would be happy about the money, which I can’t be now since I don’t have money to be happy about. Money wouldn’t solve all my problems but it would help with financial struggles. But even with financial struggles, someone can be very happy. My general happiness would remain but I would have an additional joy or happiness now. Money isn’t bad or evil, material objects, pretty things, expensive things aren’t bad or wrong. I don’t believe they can bring us true happiness or fulfillment but they can add to our happiness and bring a certain kind of joy.
But mostly, I think they will only bring a lot of deep joy if we’re already basically happy. They can complement it.
What isn’t good is to believe we need money or all kinds of material things to be truly happy. And it’s not good to be jealous of people who have more or better or bigger things(i have been jealous on some occasions of what someone else has). It’s not good to steal or use people for their money or take advantage of friends who have more money. It’s also not good to spend more than we have and then be in all kinds of debt (I have done this myself). But this isn’t the money’s fault.
There are people who say winning the lottery “ruined” their lives and studies that show many people who have won significant amounts of money became less happy than they were before the money. I heard people say the money “made” them less happy. This seems like a strange kind of irony. We would think money would help us be happier! But this just goes to show, money isn’t inherently good.
“Money made me less happy.”
I don’t agree with this. They may have become less happy after receiving all that money but not because of the money itself. Because of how they handled and viewed the situation. Money has no power unless we give it power. It can’t make me anything. It can’t ruin anything. Unless we let it. This goes for many/most/all things outside of our selves.
But as this quote suggests, money, when we give it power, can be cruel. We think it will solve our deep innermost problems and it doesn’t. And then we become disappointed which contributes to our pain. Sometimes if we expect something to make us better and it doesn’t, our spirits sink even lower than before. Also, some people get lots of money and then spend more than that thinking they have it to spend and go in debt.
This man is wise enough to know not to automatically count all that gold as a blessing. The real blessing is the wisdom to handle it well.
I have never been rich, financially, but there are occasions I spent way more money than I should have, thinking it would help my depression and sometimes it helped temporarily and often not at all. But even on the occasions it cheered me up a bit, a deeper emptiness and disappointment often followed, only adding to my depression. I expected all the pretty things to fulfill me and they did not. This only escalated my misery along with putting me in some serious debt.
There are occasions I was depressed and waited for packages to come in the mail and anticipated the happiness they would bring me. I was thrilled, ripping the package opened. But for what? All I found was an empty space. An empty place, deep inside me that material things can never fill. They can add to my happiness, temporarily bring me joy. But never can money or things bring me true, deep, happiness. When I’m already happy and get a sweet package in the mail, this is way better than being depressed and expecting it to fulfill me. Pretty things can for sure cheer me up but not make me happy if I’m not basically happy already.
If someone’s only problem is not having money for food and this is seriously contributing to despair or unhappiness, money can help significantly. We usually need money for food and food to live. Money is important in some ways but it’s not everything. As long as we have enough to have our basic needs met, that is enough even if we can’t go on shopping sprees, live in a big extravagant house, have the most expensive up to date technology and car and clothes…
But for the most part, money won’t solve our problems. Financially rich people still die, still get sick, still get depressed and anxious, and experience loss. And financially struggling people can still be happy and generally satisfied. And the other way around. Rich people can be happy and fulfilled and poor people can suffer with emotional pain and feel purposeless. It’s all about our attitude. And we can work on our attitude and develop/strengthen positive habits.
I think this is true for physical beauty, cosmetic surgery, relationships of any kind, mostly anything external. They complement our happiness, cheer us up, help us cope and we can be happy about them even if we’re not very happy in general. But they themselves can’t make us happy or truly blissful in a general way. We can have very good relationships, be physically beautiful and still be miserable even if we are happy with how we look and the relationships we have. But I think connecting with people, animals, nature, the outside world, helping others….add to our (for most of us probably) happiness and bring a deeper joy more than money and other inanimate objects.
Money and material things are great when we rule them instead of them ruling us. And it’s good to remember we don’t need them for true happiness.
“Detachment doesn’t mean you own nothing; it means nothing owns you.”
Connecting with others, helping, focusing on the good, an attitude of gratitude….these are better ways to be happy! (in my opinion)
❤
Here's a sweet little love song for you:
In This Life – Collin Raye – mobile
In This Life – desktop
“For all I’ve been blessed with in this life,
there was an emptiness in me.
I was imprisoned by the power of gold.
With one honest touch, you set me free.
Let the world stop turning,
let the sun stop burning.
Let them tell me love’s not worth going through.
If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart
the only dream that matters has come true;
in this life, I was loved by you.” ~ Collin Raye
I love the message here. And it’s a beautiful song. This person opened him up to a new view and he realized what is truly important and even if this person leaves him, he is still changed by this person’s love and will still always cherish being loved at one point by him/her. He knows it’s love that’s important in this life. This is different than a lot of romantic love songs because it’s not like a pathetic attachment love song like “if you leave me, I’ll lay down and die” or “without you I’m nothing.” He knows he will be changed in a positive way even if “it all falls apart” and just the experience of being loved by that person is enough forever. And I know it’s a romantic love song (probably) but this can apply to all love, platonic and universal and romantic. The power of love trumps the power of gold!
❤ 😀
Much0 love to you!
Xoxo Kim ❤ ❤
p.s. Just to make you smile:
“Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.” ~ Bo Derek 😀 ;-D
” If you look the right way, you can see that the whole world is a garden.” ~ Frances Hodgson Burnett
Everywhere we look, we can find something beautiful even in the ugliness, the darkness, the gray…
It’s up to us to look and find when it doesn’t easily jump out at us.
I hope you are having a beautiful day/night!
Xoxo Kim
“I choose to FIGHT BACK! I choose to RISE, not fall! I choose to LIVE, not die! And I know, I know that what’s within me is also WITHIN YOU.” (Mayor Pappas, “City Hall” movie quote)
Last night I saw the movie Insidious chapter 3. I love the Insidious movies! They are seriously the creepiest movies I ever saw! And I’m not a believer in ghosts but hell if they don’t creep me out!
I absolutely love Insidious Chapter 3. It’s creepy, it’s dark, it’s distressing and thrilling. But that’s not why I love it so.
There are a few lessons to be learned, for some people. I don’t know if the writer/s intended to convey these subtle messages or I’m just really reading into the movie and seeing messages that are accidental.
Please don’t read here any further if you intend to watch the movie and haven’t seen it yet, because there will definitely be spoilers here!
Click it off and come back later to read this, please! I’m not trying to ruin any surprises!
Spoiler alert
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.
.
.
.
So here goes :
First a brief overview of the movie, just the gist of it.
There is more than just our world of the living. There are spiritual worlds full of dead people who once lived, and spirits who aren’t all good. Some are good but some are vicious and want to kill the living people. Certain living people can enter the spirit worlds and it’s possible that they can get trapped there or that spirits can follow them back into our world and haunt them.
Some spirits are good and want to hurt no one.
Some of the spirits want life so they try to abduct the living people and inhabit their bodies. So they can live again on Earth.
Some spirits do not want light and life, they want to remain in their dark hell but take innocent people back with them.
These are the worst of the worst.
The young girl in the movie is a victim of something like this. Her mom recently died of cancer and the girl tries to contact her mom but she summons some other spirit accidentally. An evil one. A dead man wants her soul and manages to steal half of it and tries to steal the other half and trap her in his world of hell.
He doesn’t want life like some dead people do. He wants to remain in his hellish world but trap the girl with him. A psychic lady tries to help her.
This psychic lady’s husband died by suicide a year earlier and she’s real messed up over it and doesn’t want anyone else to suffer or die or lose anyone.
The lady has the gift of contacting dead people but one day she entered the dark spirit world and a woman followed her back threatening to kill her if she ever tries contacting the dead again and this scares the psychic lady and she gives up using her gift to help others.
Then she talks to an old friend who inspires her and encourages her to keep doing what she does even with the fear and threats hanging over her. He reminds her that what she does helps other people and she is strong enough to keep going even with the pain and fear. There’s always someone to help, someone who needs her. And it’s worth the risks and the fear and pain.
He reminds her of her strength and that she has a big advantage over the spirits.
She has life.
And she is strong enough to stay alive and give all she has to the world.
She can choose to rise and not fall, to live and not die.
She can choose to conquer the darkness and demons.
So the lady is inspired.
She keeps going.
Also, the man reminds her that she is much more than just one thing, more than just her gift. If she stops using her gift, she is still her, still someone.
The psychic lady leaves her own body to enter the dark spirit world and find the other half of the young girl’s soul and bring it back to her body. The dead man is desperately trying to steal the other half. The young girl’s body will die if he gets the other half and her soul will suffer indefinitely if he gets it.
The girl appears to be unconscious while her dad, the psychic lady, and two men are surrounding her desperately attempting to keep her alive. They are pleading with her to pull back, to not give in to the dark, to stay alive.
The psychic lady’s body is there but her astral body or soul is in the dark spirit world to retrieve the other half of the soul. It’s dangerous for the psychic lady because she can be killed doing this.
They tell the young girl that she doesn’t belong there in that dark spirit world, she belongs on Earth. She belongs in her body. She’s not ready to die. They want her to be strong and choose life. To not give into the dark force pulling on her. To give into the life force pulling her back.
While the psychic lady is in that dark world, she sees her husband there and she is overjoyed. But he tells her he needs her there with him and wants her to die and join him so they can be together again.
This is how she realizes it’s not really her husband because her husband isn’t selfish enough to want her to end her own life just to join him. She’s broken and devastated over her husband’s death but she knows she doesn’t want to die and belongs here on Earth. She chooses life and attacks the evil spirit pretending to be her husband.
I find these scenes to be so comforting and inspiring because they are so life affirming. They show us that we are supposed to live, to not give up even when it’s hard. Life here on Earth is a gift and we belong right here even if we feel a pull to give up and die. Even when it seems we lose all hope, that it’s easier to give in and give up, we must keep going. I felt this movie so deeply, I felt that it speaks to me as I was in that dark theatre watching with my family. It is an entertaining movie but I feel so much more.
I struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts and urges. Not as much as I used to but I still struggle hard. Even when I’m not having a full blown episode, I can still experience symptoms. Some days I’m very happy and filled with genuine joy then out of nowhere I can be struck with depression and suicidal urges that end as quickly as they begin. I can be depressed and suicidal for just a few minutes or hours and those minutes and hours can feel like eternity when they are occurring.
I can be happy and not depressed for months then five minutes of depression can make it feel like my whole life is nothing, worthless, despair and I can come close to ending it all. Then that fast the depression can end.
The week and month long episodes aren’t as frequent anymore and the general depression in the middle of each severe episode isn’t with me anymore.
But I still have the depressive condition.
I don’t know why I have this.
I think it’s just fucked up brain chemistry. It can be triggered by environmental factors or certain thoughts but not always.
Sometimes the more I try to understand why, it just seems the more suicidal I become.
Sometimes I really think I’m going to give in and end my life when it all feels so hopeless.
I can feel the darkness pulling at me and if I pay close attention, I can also often feel the light and life pulling back. The choice is mine.
Sometimes my suicidal contemplation is so frequent, so routine, it’s just as much a part of my everyday as deciding what to wear, what to drink, where to go, what to read, brushing my teeth, getting a shower….But it always ends again. I’m constantly finding little gems of hope and inspiration to keep me going and share with others. I know there’s people just like me and I don’t want them to give into the horrible suicidal urges.
There’s always something to live for, someone to help, to inspire, to love whether the person is a stranger or family or friend, an animal, an insect…let’s summon all our love and keep going, lavish all that love onto the whole world. Even when it’s scary. Even when it hurts. Even when we have to take risks.
We have life. Life is hope.
Let’s love whoever is around to be loved and let our light permeate the world around us.
Let’s not give into the darkness. Always reach for the light. We belong here, in the light and life of the Earth. Let’s put as much loving energy we can out into the uni-verse.
Sometimes when I’m watching ghost movies, such as this one and the movie “Pulse,” I wonder if they are really about depression and not just all about ghosts and stuff.
I am all that I am because of my struggle with depression and my quest for healing and my endless journey each day. It inspires me. I am much better than I used to be. It may never be cured but I’m not depressed constantly anymore. I’m often very happy now.
I can see the blessing that my experience with depression is. If we look closely, feel closely, listen closely, we can see little gifts throughout the darkness. Little glimmers of light.
I want to be the best me I can be not for myself but for every living thing I encounter.
Whether or not you have depression, I think you can benefit by this message to keep going when you feel like giving up. Whatever you want to give up on because of fear or pain, just keep going. It may be your life, your job, a certain activity, anything….if it’s your true passion don’t give up on it just because of fear or pain. Keep going and help and inspire anyone you can along the way.
“Keep loving….gotta keep the light on through dark & despair..” ~ Nimo Patel
❤
I hope you are having a beautiful day or night!
Much love to you always.
Xoxo Kim
“Starry, starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frame-less heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can’t forget.” ~ Don McLean ❤
Recently there was this one night the sky seemed to be filled with more stars than usual. I have a camera that reaches the stars(my phone camera almost never can capture them) but my camera is lost and kind of broken(my dad broke it by cracking it against a table or something and it fell apart, sort of). I always hoped for a camera that can beautifully capture the night sky then last year I got one, not the best, probably, but an ok one. It’s in my house somewhere but I have no clue where. And it’s a small house! Lol I don’t yet have a way to get my pics online off the camera because the camera needs wifi or to put the pictures on a computer first. And my computer isn’t set up because it needs wifi to be set up.
So I carelessly tossed it aside.
I should be getting wifi soon, now I regret it.
I was in awe over the beauty of the starlit night! I kept trying to take pics with my phone and it kept only capturing one star, the brightest one.
Then in one picture, it got two stars.
I was thankful. Sometimes it can’t even capture one. But I wanted the whole sky full of stars to show up.
It was amazing! They were literally twinkling!
I kept imagining what that would look like in a picture and how I would love to have and share a picture like that!
I kept thinking “if only I was more careful with my camera!!”
And
“I really hope when I get a good camera or find mine, the sky looks like this again! “
It was a worse feeling than not having a camera at all because it was like a feeling of “being so close…” I have it and could have captured the stars but it’s lost because I was careless.
Like when playing a crane machine and it completely misses the desired object and it’s like “oh well.” but when it picks up the thing you want and then drops it before it makes it to the slot it’s like “omg! So close!! If only it would have held on a second later…!!” lol
I couldn’t shake the feeling. “If only….” and “I hope…” But it was the kind of restraining hope that holds me back, not an exhilarating kind.
And it’s not every night there’s that many stars! And big bright ones! All twinkling!
I really felt so strongly that I was missing out.
I went back out into the backyard to look up at the starry starry night and it took my breath away and I was reminded that that’s really all that matters. Experiencing the beauty, not capturing it.
I wasn’t missing anything.
While it’s amazing to get beautiful pictures of our experiences and the beauty all around us, sometimes the desire, activity, or opportunity to capture it can hold us back.
When we forget our phones, lose our cameras, our battery drains….and we can’t get a pic we can feel that we’re missing out, we can feel a sense of loss, a sense of a missed opportunity.
And sometimes we can get so wrapped up trying to get the “perfect picture” that we neglect to savor the moment itself.
Girls, haven’t you ever had a day where your makeup looked so perfect or your hair, better than usual and it kind of felt like a waste because you weren’t going anywhere or your plans did not work out? And in some way you almost wished you did not look so good? Because there’s like nowhere to go, no one to see it. Lol I know I’m not the only one!
(this isn’t my picture, I don’t know the original source but it’s funny!)
That’s kind of like this experience. Like, damn, the sky looks so good! And I can’t capture it!
;-p
I heard on the radio a couple years ago that there’s a study that shows that many people feel that it’s more important to capture and get “proof” of the fun occasions and beauty they experience than actually experiencing it. According to the radio program, most teenagers who took the survey said they would prefer not to experience something amazing if they can’t get a pic than experience it and not get pictures! I don’t know how accurate this survey/s is/are since I just heard it briefly some years ago and did not hear all the info. But I know this phenomenon is definitely true for some people.
I have met people who felt this way and I have felt a touch of this myself on some occasions. Not that I would prefer not to experience something great if I can’t get a pic but feeling so disappointed and anxious if I couldn’t get one to the point I sometimes let the disappointment and anxiety ruin the moment.
Looking up at that starry, starry sky I was reminded that living is much more important than capturing or “proving.” Both are great but we can’t always have both. And why let disappointment ruin the actual moment?
I almost never let “picture taking” take away my focus or experience of what is happening. That is a common problem now in society, at least the one I live among. People are obsessed with capturing and showing the fun they’re having and beauty they’re witnessing and instead of living the moment, they pull out their phones/cameras and play with them, posing instead of being natural, looking into a phone or camera instead of each other. I believe I manage a healthy balance of capturing the moment but also living it. But my problem is when I can’t capture it in at least one pic, I have felt so very disappointed.
And it’s the same with the makeup, who cares if you’re not going anywhere or seeing anyone? Just bask in your own beauty, put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty.
(and meet me tonight in Atlantic City ;-D lol)
It’s worth it! We don’t need a special occasion or to show anything. Wear that clingy dress, the diamond earrings, use the expensive utensils and sparkling crystal wine glasses, buy yourself flowers….each moment we’re alive is a special occasion.
I’m thankful the sky showed me. Lol
Also, I choose to look at the bright side! At least I got the biggest, brightest star! Lol And it looked like it was a falling star after a while! It was like curving or something. Fantastic!
So pretty!
This is definitely not an airplane (my sister insists that it is but I kept my eyes on it since it was a small speck hanging over the rooftops) or the moon. It somewhat resembles one but it’s a star, I’m sure of it.
I know what an airplane and what a star looks like(although one night I did mistake a traffic light for the moon so I guess you can’t be too sure of my judgment….but this I’m sure of!)
The moon was on the other side. And it stayed in one place all night, not moving, just sparkling, until it decided to curve like this. I kept running out to check on it all night. And took like one hundred pics. All shitty ones but I still like them.
(this picture has two stars! I had to lighten the picture a lot to make them more visible. Very hard to see but they’re there!)
I couldn’t imagine why I saved this picture and was about to delete it then I realized why! If you look closely you can see the shadow Of me standing on the tips off my toes desperately holding my phone up to the sky as high as I possibly can hoping to just get a few stars to show up! And also hoping the neighbors in the back wouldn’t think I’m some kind of creeper taking pictures through their windows. I promise it’s only the stars I was spying on. ;-D
It is a funny picture, kind of pathetic. Being this desperate but oh well….lol
Don McLean – Starry, Starry Night
Mobile:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oxHnRfhDmrk
Desktop:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&persist_app=1&v=oxHnRfhDmrk
I hope you’re having a great day and a beautiful starry starry night!! ❤
😀
Xoxo Kim
“Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.” – Jawaharlal Nehru
Unless you want to be scarred for life like I am. Lol j/k but it’s seriously twisted!
Recently I read a short story on BlackBerry Kindle like 47 pages and it’s another kind of insanity. An insanity you don’t even want to think about.
It sucked me right in and reading it was thoroughly entertaining but then it just got insane. At the end I had one of those “DAFUQ DID I JUST READ?!?!?!” moments.
I’m going to write about it here, including the end so if you would prefer to read the short story before reading this then you know to click it off.
But like I said, unless you want to be traumatized forever, don’t. Lol
It’s a psychological thriller and in the reviews it is said to be dark and deeply disturbing. And it is!
It’s BEYOND disturbing.
It starts out with a mother helping her teenage daughter get ready for her prom, fixing her hair in front of a mirror in her bedroom, and her date is late showing up. The daughter is concerned that he’s standing her up and going with another person.
Her mother gets furious at this and spins the chair around that her daughter is in and yells in her daughter’s face that she is second to no one and the boy is probably just experiencing car trouble. Then in a split second the mother is back to her sweet self again smiling cheerfully at her daughter telling her that she’s the most beautiful girl in the whole county and everyone always knew it. That to me is a red flag right there that the mom may have some kind of issues going on getting furious in a split second to the point of screaming loudly in her daughter’s face then just as soon puts on a sweet smile and goes back to fixing her hair like nothing.
And the way she seems kind of obsessed with her daughter being “the most beautiful girl according to everyone.” It’s just weird.
The story switches scenes to where the girl’s dad is in a shopping mall. The wife is horrible to her husband and controlling and sent him out to find their daughter’s date or he would have to suffer her wrath.
So here the father is searching for a teenage boy to take to his daughter. I was confused at this point because the daughter seems to know her date, Josh, but it seems as if the dad is looking around for a random boy to take back.
Here, that’s exactly the case. Her father is looking for a random teenage boy to abduct!
And call him Josh. Even though he’s not Josh.
The dad gets the boy in a parking lot, drugs him with a needle and takes him home, forces him to dress in a tuxedo before going into the house.
The scene switches back to home where the daughter is getting ready for her prom. They live on a secluded farm in the middle of nowhere and don’t know anyone.
The mom answers the phone and is
relieved to hear that “Josh” just had “car trouble” and is on his way to pick up their little girl for the prom.
Here, the “daughter” is a mannequin! With a wig! Wtf?! And the mom switches roles. First she’s the mom and the daughter is the mannequin. Then the mom takes on the role of the daughter and the mannequin becomes the mom!
The mom put on the wig and became the daughter and was conversing with the mannequin who is now the mom.
Then the dad came home with the abducted boy who they call Josh. The boy is utterly confused (as am I at this point..)as the dad tells him to wear the tux, answer to Josh, and do whatever his “daughter” (who is really his wife) says. The dad says he’s not explaining anything to just do as he says because he has a gun and will use it if the boy resists.
The “girl” walks down the stairs calling for Josh and she’s wearing a dirty pink dress that is too small. She’s clearly not a teenage girl but a middle aged woman. At first the boy thinks it’s a twisted joke and smiles then quickly realizes it’s a nightmare of reality.
The “prom” takes place in the basement of the house and there’s no other guests. Just the abducted boy and the husband and wife who is pretending to be the daughter. The husband and wife act as if there are other kids there though but they focus mostly only on “Josh.” They have punch and music and decorations and dancing. They pretend there’s a room full of kids and talk on a microphone to the audience.
The boy begins crying because he’s so scared but the woman/girl assumes/acts like he’s just so happy and moved over the whole prom thing.
The husband is relieved at this because if the boy doesn’t cooperate, the husband will suffer his wife’s abuse for him not doing a good job.
Then they go into a small room and the girl/woman shows her date a photo album and in all the photos is a mother and real daughter. The mother in the photos with the real daughter is clearly the woman now pretending to be a teenage girl. The photos are mostly of them at beauty contests.
The little girl who is the real daughter wins the beauty contests every year, she’s holding a trophy in every photo. But soon she comes to look very much like her mom (the lady now pretending to be the daughter) who is considered less than pretty and overweight.
So she starts getting second, third, last, then no winning place. The mom is obsessed with beauty and being/looking perfect. She tries to force this on her daughter. The woman pretending to be the teenager tells her “prom date” about how her mom was obsessed with physical beauty always trying to force her to live up to impossible standards, claiming that the judges of the contests were just jealous or something.
Then she puts the photo album away and forces the abducted boy to engage in sexual activity with her. He doesn’t want to but the dad has a gun and threatens him.
So here’s a husband forcing a teenage boy to get it on with his wife! Who is pretending to be a teenage girl! Can you say, TWISTED?!
Something in the punch made it so the boy can be aroused enough to get it up even though he doesn’t want to.
Then they go outside and have some thing where they are elected prom queen and king.
Throughout the story the dad keeps reassuring the boy when he asks, that he will be let go and can go home at the end.
It’s a lie. They are planning on killing the boy.
It’s clear throughout the story that the husband is distressed over this whole situation and doesn’t want to participate but feels he has little say in it; his wife is emotionally abusive and forces him to do stuff.
It also becomes clear that this whole “prom” thing happens every year where the dad reluctantly goes and abducts a random boy, brings him home, he’s forced to engage in a “prom” and sexual things with the wife, then they kill him without anyone ever knowing.
Since they live in the middle of nowhere they’re less likely to get found out. No one ever thinks to look for the missing boys there.
I kind of guessed the end but got a couple things wrong. I thought it would turn out that years ago their real daughter was killed on prom night, I thought maybe a car crash going to the prom. And that the mom got so messed up over it she does this shit every year.
That’s kind of what happened but not quite.
At the end the boy wants an explanation since he’s going to be killed anyway.
So the husband tells him.
Spoiler alert….
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.
.
Five years ago on prom night his real teenage daughter was supposed to go to the prom with a popular boy named Josh. His daughter was unpopular and horribly bullied for her physical appearance and body weight. So when a popular boy asked her out it came as a shock but the girl was thrilled. She got all ready on prom night and Josh never showed up. So when she called him, he laughed at her and said all insults about her, said it was all a joke, that he would never go out with her, he was going with someone else.
She was devastated. Her mom showed no compassion and said it was all her daughter’s fault for not being good enough, for not being pretty, for being second to other girls.
So the girl ran outside and her dad went to run after her but his wife demanded him not to and said let their daughter think about what the mother said, that it will do her good or something. The dad reluctantly listened to his wife as he always does. Then later he found that his daughter hanged herself off the rafter things outside. He had to cut her lifeless body off the thing and watch her fall to the ground getting her pink dress all dirty. The pink dress the mom wears now for this freak show.
Then every year after that the mom set this up.
As the dad is telling the boy how his wife destroyed their daughter, he’s crying and says he misses his daughter terribly and how his wife couldn’t even show her some sympathy after her ordeal with the boy on the phone. He doesn’t even know why he goes along with this every year. He suspects it may have something to do with his own feelings of inadequacy that no one would ever want him, that he will always be alone. Years ago he always felt like that and was relieved that the girl who became his wife, wanted him forever. So he always did everything she told him to out of fear of losing her and being forever alone.
At the very end, the boy promises he won’t tell if the dad let’s him go, he says out of respect for his daughter he’ll keep it quiet. The dad is holding a gun to the boy.
Then the husband gets up, goes inside to the wife where she’s still pretending to be the daughter. And he tells her he misses their daughter so much. The wife looks confused since right now in her twisted head she is the daughter.
Then he points the gun at her and blows her away then does away with himself.
The end.
Bizarre ass shit, isn’t it?!
It’s sad and tragic and bizarre.
The whole thing.
Not an uplifting read.
And some things you just can’t unread.
No matter how desperately you want to.
Lol
My heart breaks for that poor girl who died, feeling as if that was the only way out, like she was worthless and not good enough. My heart breaks for the dad who lost his little girl who he loved. He was wrong for killing the innocent boys he killed all those years and for killing his wife. But his anguish for his tragic loss is clear. It’s only fiction but it’s still sad. And unfortunately, stuff like this really happens(suicide, bullying, abuse…hopefully not the prom thing as well).
I believe the wife knew exactly what she was doing. That’s why she had to get a mannequin and keep making it a point to reverse roles, switching wigs and all. She knew to keep switching and to have to get a physical figure in place of a mother/daughter. She knew to relentlessly criticize her husband if he did not do exactly what she wanted. She knew to keep the thing a secret so she wouldn’t be in trouble.
While mental illness and feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, being verbally/emotionally abused are not the person’s fault and no one can just make them go away, when a person struggles with these things, that person has a choice. A choice to seek help, to overcome, get better, pro-act. The man couldn’t help it that his wife was abusive to him and that he had low self-esteem but that is no justification for abducting people, drugging them, and aiding in sexually assaulting them.
It’s not the wife’s fault that she had unhealthy views about body image but it’s no justification for forcing her own standards on her daughter, emotionally torturing her ’til she killed herself. The woman could have worked on herself to shift her views to more positive ones. She was projecting her own insecurity onto her innocent daughter. She could have chosen love over the abuse and bitterness. It’s not her fault she felt the need to have a fake prom every year, maybe she had some kind of mental illness(???) but she could have got professional help or worked on herself with self-help techniques to help this. So it wouldn’t have all ended in tragedy. There may be real people out there somewhere with something like this, people who dress up mannequins and pretend they are real for whatever reason. If that’s just a hobby for fun it’s ok even if people think it’s strange, but if it’s the result of serious emotional problems I think they deserve some compassionate motivation to seek help of some kind and deserve some sort of understanding. This is just a horror story but maybe there’s real people with these sorts of disorders or something. And if there are, it doesn’t mean they’re all dangerous like the people in the story.
And the poor daughter. She was emotionally abused her whole life by her peers and her mother. But suicide isn’t the answer. It’s a tragic, senseless choice. There’s always hope.
Being bullied, humiliated, abused, depressed and suicidal is not a choice but acting on it by killing herself is.
She could have worked on herself to realize her worth and know it’s never dependent upon her physical appearance, her body weight, or what her mom or anyone else says or thinks of her.
There’s always hope. Where there’s life, there’s hope. There’s always a way.
None of these people took responsibility for themselves. They let other people, unhealthy views, situations control them into doing tragic and twisted things. I think this is a great reminder to take responsibility. No situation or other person has the power if we don’t let them. We have the power over ourselves.
I think this story isn’t meant to be thought provoking like this. It’s probably just supposed to be dark, twisted, insane, disturbing, thrilling. And that’s ok! Some people are into that kind of thing. I like some stuff like that too. But I still found some insights in the story that serve as great reminders. I’m happy I read it. Lol
We must know we have choices. Not realizing we have a choice can be almost as bad as really not having one but it’s not quite as bad as really not having a choice. We can learn we have a choice, be reminded, realize, see the light.
I think the only character in this story who really had no choice is the boy who was abducted. He had a gun held to him so basically he had no choice if he wanted to not be killed or threatened.
But he has a choice how to handle the situation and his attitude, and reaction when it’s over.
People who have a choice but don’t yet realize it or are scared and act/think like victims deserve compassion but also deserve to be firmly reminded that it’s all up to them to change their lives and selves. Depressed people, homeless people, unhappy people, financially struggling people, suicidal people, addicted people, ones in abusive environments, ones letting a situation or other people dominate them, people working dead-end, life draining jobs…they all have choices. Positive, healthy choices. They don’t always know they have choices but they do, even if right now the only choice is something as simple as working on their attitude or taking small steps to get out of the situation. Small but significant steps.
Maybe they don’t always know what decision to make but they can seek guidance along the way.
Not everyone has a choice to change something significantly right this very minute.
Not everyone is making conscious or intentional choices to get where they are.
But we can all make the decision to plan to change, our attitude or situation or both. Starting now. In small steps. Small steps are still significant.
And then we can work on that. For some it will definitely be more difficult than others.
Some people have more obstacles and disadvantages than others.
But we all have this life and twenty-four hours each day to do something. Something. Anything.
No matter how hard it is, people can change for the better. Even if it takes longer than desired. Even if it takes a lot of work. Even if it’s painful and seemingly impossible.
We can’t help how we grew up, the people we have been surrounded with, the things they do or say, disabilities or illnesses, job losses or rejections….but we can always make the choice to do something to better ourselves and our situations.
Even if that choice for now is just meditating upon or planning to live up to a positive philosophy of life, quote or affirmation.
Even if that decision is planning in our heads to develop certain positive qualities we don’t yet have or strengthen ones we do have.
Even if that decision is to make a phone call, send an e-mail, walking into a building to ask for help.
Many people feel that it’s cold and callous to say that certain struggling people have choices, that it’s not true, that it’s not being compassionate but none of this is true. It is being compassionate to help empower people to know they can get better, can take action, responsibility for their own lives.
To help people know that we are all dependent in some ways and can be independent in some ways if we really work for it.
There’s a healthy balance of gentle compassion and firm reminders of taking responsibility.
Some people really are cold and not understanding and and do criticize people in a toxic way when they have a choice but act like they don’t. But that’s not what I’m promoting.
We can be firm in reminders but still compassionate and loving and express deep empathy.
The choice to do nothing is still a choice.
Sometimes we can find ourselves in places we are unsure how we got there. It’s like we just ended up there with no say of our own.
But often it’s because of choices we have been making all along. Not always but often. Choices to do nothing, to settle, to take no action, to give in, to succumb to limiting beliefs. Choices to let other people and situations drag us down.
I have found myself in situations I was so sure I had no say in, no control over, I was a “victim” of sorts. But I later realized the roles I had in situations and what I can do now to begin getting out of it. If we realize we made choices that contributed to unpleasant situations then we can be empowered knowing that means we have the ability to make new choices that contribute to more positive situations.
If you make choices that contribute to unpleasant things then you can make choices that lead to positive things.
And it’s true we don’t always have choices for everything.
But whether or not we had control all along, right now the choice is ours.
Xoxo Kim
(that’s fake blood on my face for a haunted house attraction for Halloween)
I love funny and silly surveys for blogs and Facebook, like a list of weird, stupid, funny questions…would you rather be ridiculously rich financially but butt ugly physically or amazingly gorgeous, beautiful beyond belief physically but dirt poor financially? Would you rather eat hair or lick a toilet seat? Would you rather be in a dark, creepy room alone or in a well lit room with Michael Jackson? lol They’re funny questions. I would choose to be poor and beautiful. And I would lick the toilet seat over eating hair any day. Loose hair is disgusting. Aack! And I like Michael Jackson but not creepy dark rooms alone so I would choose the lit up room with him. ;-D
But anyway….i came across this question
Would you rather be buried alive or stabbed to death?
Horrible thought, right?!
But I find it enlightening. It provoked me even more to think about the strength deep within me that I accidentally found and accidentally developed.
I would choose to be buried alive.
Not so long ago, I couldn’t even imagine saying that. I just couldn’t imagine.
First of all, if I am buried alive, maybe I can find a way out or someone can find me before it’s too late. Being stabbed is so violent!
There are rare(at least I hope being buried alive is rare!!!) cases where someone has been buried alive and somehow escaped or was found before it was too late.
I used to have an extreme fear of being closed in with or without others there with me. Closed in anywhere. Even a large room or building. I would avoid closed in places like the plague. Then my fear got somewhat better when I was eighteen years old in college. In this one building I wasn’t aware that we were allowed to use the stairs. It turns out, we actually were but I never knew til a long while later. Everyday I had to go in that building I had to desperately hope there were others waiting to go on the elevator when I was because I couldn’t bring myself to go on alone. I used to go early and just linger around the hall waiting for someone who was going on. (creepy, right?! :-O lol) I never said that I was waiting. Just when I saw someone going on, I would too. If the person got off before the floor I was going to, I would get off too then walk up the steps to the floor I was going.
Then I met a girl. When I was 18 years old. One who had the same class and we got talking to each other and I found that she had the same problem!
One day I got to the elevator and she was waiting too! And she told me she’s seriously afraid of small places and won’t get on without someone else! What are the chances?! I was embarrassed at first and wouldn’t really tell people but I opened up about it when I met her.
We conquered our fear together. 😀
I always thought of this fear as a weakness and never met anyone else that I knew of who has it this bad, my dad is like this but his never seemed as bad. Everyone I knew could get on with no problem, it seemed.
And when I met her, I was sooo happy! Lol Also, we were both very shy until getting to know someone better but we both had no problem with public speaking because it’s just something we had to do for class. We both loved meeting people we never met but were often too shy to initiate socialization first. But somehow we found each other! I haven’t seen or talked to her in many, many years. But the impact is everlasting. ❤
After that, I got more used to going in small places, elevators with people and I was mostly only panicked when I was closed in alone. I often had nightmares of being closed in or trapped somewhere alone.
I couldn’t even stand walking by elevators or being in the same building with one. This was always the only thing that scared me about hospitals. I would shake walking through narrow staircases even with people. I felt like my body was turning to jelly.
One day when I was a teenager I had to get on an elevator alone. I was in the US Constitution Center at some event and the only way to leave the building was to get on an elevator. They said I had no choice. There was no one else around and the security guard said I had to get on the elevator so I did. I went into a serious panic and I pressed my fingernails into the skin over my hip bone and just kept scratching until it bled and the doors opened. I was so scared, that was just what I did, unconsciously.
I never worked on this fear specifically but during my personal development journey, my quest to find healing, working on myself to help heal my depression and cope with tmjd “cluster headaches” without realizing it, I was conquering my fear of being closed in. With my personal development plan I teach myself and train my brain to know I can handle and conquer anything. To know I will always be free no matter what position I’m in in this life. To know life is a gift no matter what. To see positivity and opportunity in any situation no matter how dreadful. I trained my brain with meditation and quotes and music and songs and writing to stay calm and composed for the most part, in any situation no matter what, no matter how painful physically or emotionally. I still struggle with this a bit sometimes, especially with severe physical pain. I’m much better at handling deep emotional pain than very severe physical pain. A certain level of physical pain that I experience occasionally can still seem too much to bear.
It’s at a frightening level and it’s not common that people ever feel it to this extent. Not even prescription pain pills can touch it.
But I work on myself constantly and even when I’m freaking out aggressively over a tmjd cluster headache, I still keep telling myself I will survive.
I was trying to heal my depression and cope with it and cope with those head attacks.
And much to my amazement this was helping me all along with my fear! My phobia(i wasn’t actually diagnosed with a phobia but it may have met the criteria, I don’t know for sure) wasn’t destroying my life because I was just able to mostly avoid small places but there were some occasions I couldn’t and had to be closed in somewhere.
Some people have a phobia where they can’t avoid the thing they fear or even if they can they can’t help but dwell on it constantly and it runs their lives. That was never me but there are occasions I embarrassed myself in public, especially as a kid, when I had to go on elevators or narrow staircases. And occasions I was extremely fearful knowing I had to go in a large building where there’s elevators. Somewhat recently I went on a job interview. I did not get the job but I had to go on an elevator by myself, they wouldn’t let me on the stairs going up, I asked, I was told no. I wanted to run out but I had the interview scheduled and I knew it wouldn’t be good to have them waiting and I never show up, years ago I would have been out the door so fast with the interview the last thing on my mind. So I reluctantly got on the elevator, alone, and while my heart started to speed a bit because of being closed in and for a few seconds I was overwhelmed in immense fear, like panic, I handled it so well. No panic. No breakdown. Just staying calm. It was so surprising. And just as much of an accomplishment as getting a job! Maybe more?
It wasn’t a happenstance. I worked to get to this point. (though unknowingly lol) I am so strong now. In so many ways.
Then leaving the building I had a choice to take the stairs or the elevator. Just a couple years ago I would have taken the stairs without a second thought. Even last year. But on the interview I made the CHIOCE to take the elevator alone to get more practice and was even more calm than the first occasion going up! What a great accomplishment for me!
It may not seem that big to some people but for someone like me, it is a tremendous thing.
Also I don’t like closing doors to small rooms even in my own house but in the bathroom there are parakeets flying around and we have to close the door. I was getting a shower one day and had to close the door. The handle is broke and I got locked in! I went into a bit of a panic. Not a full blown panic, but an intense fear, I guess you can say. Not how people with panic attacks do. Not that bad. But I was pulling the door and banging on it hoping someone would hear. No one did. But I calmed down and reminded myself. Life is beautiful no matter what. I have the sunlight streaming in the window, I have my senses, the parakeets, meditation, Buddhism and Stoicism ….the window is too small for me to fit through so that wasn’t an option. And it’s on the second floor, it wouldn’t be safe to jump. I don’t want broken bones or whatever. But just some years ago I would have jumped if I could, risking injuries. I was there for like 20 minutes before I finally got the door open.
A couple nights ago I went to the Philadelphia Eastern State Penitentiary with my sister and my dad for the Haunted attraction. It’s a real abandoned prison that is in a state of semi-ruin, almost 200 years old. It’s said by ghost investigators to be truly haunted all year. Lol It’s open all year but the rest of the year is just a prison exhibit to learn of its history, which is very interesting.
For the Halloween attraction every October, we get to walk through the dark prison inside and out in the courtyards when it’s at night, in groups. It has lights flashing, people screaming, monsters walking around, “prisoners” trying to attack us through their cells, monsters, all kinds of creepy, scary stuff. There’s lock down, the infirmary, night watch, an abandoned bus in a junkyard and other attractions we walk through. Things randomly and unexpectedly jump out at us, sometimes screaming and with weapons! There’s 3D things and people jumping through walls at us. They come right up to us with weapons holding them over our heads or up to our faces. Lol Isn’t it insane that people actually take pleasure in this? But something about a certain kind of fear is quite thrilling for people. Like amusement park rides and sky diving. And scary movies & books.
Also, I think our brains are not aware of the difference of what is real and what is not. Seeing, hearing horror in movies and things, the human brain cannot distinguish the difference. We know it’s not real but some part of our brain does not know and it has a negative/fearful effect on is, even later. That’s why too much fake horror isn’t good for us. I used to have a psychiatrist who told me that and I noticed it too when I read too many horror books close together. It has an unpleasant effect. He advised me to avoid fake horror all together. It’s not good for anyone and especially those prone to anxiety or depressive conditions.
It’s fun. And scary. I’m not afraid of monsters and ghosts and stuff but it’s kind of startling to have people looking all dead with blood all over them, screaming and with weapons jumping out in the dark at me with just an eerie glow around the prison.
(inside the prison – imagine walking up this long hallway knowing at any moment something or someone can and probably will jump out at you. Lol creepy!)
(it was the perfect night for a haunted house – or prison – because there was a full Moon or almost full Moon and I kept seeing it when we walked in and out of the prison into the courtyards)
They’re not allowed to touch us and we are not allowed to touch them. But this year they had something different where the bravest of the brave can wear a bright pink glow necklace they give us and this gives the monsters (the actors working in the prison) permission to touch us, grab us, snatch us, hold us back, separate us so we lose our groups, toss us into secret passageways, and do other terrible stuff. I haven’t been there in a couple years until a couple nights ago. So this was new to me.
I love haunted houses and stuff but my one fear has always been being separated and ending up in a small, dark place alone. This still scares me. I fear dark places as well but not as much as small or closed in places.
But I decided to be brave that night and wear the necklace. I was abducted, strangled, held back, got my hair pulled, forced by two monster dentists to sit in a dentists chair so they can pull out all my teeth…they put the loud thing all the way to my mouth then I escaped!
I was almost forced into a small cell and into a weird tunnel but I ran screaming. And the monsters laughed at me. Lol
Most people did not take the necklaces and some who did decided to take them off and toss them so the monsters could no longer touch them. Even my dad took his off and hid it.
Chicken shits. Lol ;-D
I was one of the brave few who kept mine on throughout the entire prison, not once taking it off. Yay me! Lol Although at one point the thought occurred to me but I sucked it up and kept going.
(me with my medal of honor lol)
It took nerve. Especially when most people were not wearing them so there was not many choices for the monsters and so the few of us who were wearing them were the ones who kept getting all the attention. At one point I was the only one wearing a necklace where I was and two monsters came up and said since I was the only one wearing one right there, I was the “chosen one.” I was snatched while everyone around me ran away, even my dad and sister (thanks everyone! Lol) and had my hand held under some device that came down and was supposed to pierce my hand but when it touched me it was just rubber. Lol
I knew I could have been dragged and possibly tossed into a secret, small, dark place alone. But I took the chance. I would have NEVER ever been able to make that choice, probably even a year ago.
The thing that really inspired me to take and wear the necklace is in the beginning a monster said “you came here for fear so get all the fear you can get…” encouraging us to take the glow necklace. This also inspires me in general, to take advantage of every opportunity in life to live to the fullest, whatever “the fullest” is to me at that moment. To soak up all I can, all the thrills, the beauty, and feeling there is to feel.
Being alive is an opportunity to take in everything we can, to feel. To live. To experience. To grow. To love. To make mistakes. To learn. To feel pain and beauty, sorrow and joy. Misery and happiness. To take full advantage of our senses.
I been to this prison for the Halloween attraction a couple occasions years ago. The first day I went for the haunted attraction I was hugging, holding hands with, and clinging to people I did not know. Lol It was my first year in college, I was eighteen years old, and I went as a group with other college students, all girls and one boy. The boy wanted us to go first because he said he was the only boy. But we told him no, since he’s the boy he had to be in the front.
Lol we were holding onto each other like our lives depended on it.
It’s one of my favorite memories. And after the event was over and we were walking up the dark street outside the prison, a drunk person jumped out at us and we all screamed. He wasn’t trying to scare us and just looked at us like we were all nuts.
Now, being buried alive would be way, way more terrifying than going on an elevator for less than a minute! And being locked in a room.
And way more horrifying than a fun tour through a haunted prison for Halloween.
But I know now that I would survive emotionally as long as I survived physically. I would go into a deep meditation and have my Buddhist and stoic principles and my life philosophy and inner Truth, my authentic Self to help guide me til I become physically free. I would still be frightened and panicked at some points. And maybe feel as if I can’t go on but I know I can. I have my life philosophy that I work on every single day without fail. I can survive anything as long as I stay alive. As long as I’m free in my mind, I am free. Truly free. You can be free too if you’re not already, with lots of hard work and practice. We don’t have to allow anything or anyone to restrain us.
If you work to heal one aspect of yourself you can be strengthening yourself in deep ways you don’t even realize in other aspects as well.
I want this for everyone. Whatever pain, physical or emotional, whatever fear or problems, I want us all to find a way to conquer it. A way to cope.
I never ever thought my fear of being closed in could be vanquished but it is. It’s also not completely cured. My heart still races in small or narrow places, sometimes I still think there’s no way I can be closed in alone and survive with my sanity intact, I still avoid closed in spaces for the most part, but I conquered it and can handle it now. ME! I can’t even believe it!
If you are ever in a situation you are 100% convinced without a doubt you can’t or won’t survive, remember, it feels that way, it’s not true. I never knew I can ever survive the depression and tmjd cluster-like headaches but somehow I did. I survive each one. My conviction was deep, that I couldn’t survive but I do survive and now my conviction is even deeper that I can and will survive whatever comes my way.
And you can too, whatever it is. It can get better. <333 ❤ Much love, hope, & strength to you.
Xoxo Kim
Today, September 21st, is World Gratitude Day!! Yay!! I’m not a fan of gratitude on just certain days but everyday! But it’s great to have a whole day to bring awareness to gratitude. Gratitude can be a fleeting feeling that comes out of the blue every once in a while or when something great happens or around holidays. But it can also be a way of life, a conscious habit, an intentional decision we make each and every day to experience gratitude no
matter what. When good things are happening, when bad things are happening, in happiness and in pain. In sadness and even despair. In joy, laughter, and in tears. Live it and breathe it. It’s life changing. No matter how naturally grateful we are, how easily it usually comes to us or how ungrateful we are, we can choose to consciously live in gratitude, to feel it in every cell of our bodies, in every pulsation of our hearts, in the pores of our skin, deep into the marrow of our bones. We can summon these feelings often after developing the habit of living in gratitude. We can do this by using certain techniques, meditation, gratitude journaling each day writing a list of
things we are thankful for that day or in general, gratitude photography taking a photo each day of something that inspires gratitude in us, making mental lists of all we are thankful for, sharing quotes, reading books on gratitude…
In honor of World Gratitude Day, here are a few beautiful quotes related to the concept of gratitude.
As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.
John F. Kennedy
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Melody Beattie
“I’m thankful for a pair of shoes that feel really good on my feet; I like my shoes.
I’m thankful for the birds; I feel like they’re singing just for me when I get up in the morning… Saying, ‘Good morning, John. You made it, John.’
I’m thankful for the sea breeze that feels so good right now, and the scent of jasmine when the sun starts going down.
I’m thankful…” ~
Johnny Cash
At any given moment we can think of a list of reasons why our lives suck but at that same moment we can think of a list of reasons while our lives are simply amazing! The choice is ours. Here’s to Gratitude EVERY DAY!!
😀
Xoxo Kim
“I could sneer, I could glare say that
Life is so unfair and the one who Made it, made it ’cause her breasts
Were really big” ~ Jill Sobule
I have never been starstruck or celebrity crazed. I’m not into TV, the personal lives of celebrities just because they are famous, their drama or the drama people bring to them. I find it appalling that people chase them around with cameras, seriously invading their personal space, nearly getting them into accidents, stalking them, stalking and taking pictures of their kids!!!, verbally bash them out of jealousy, and all the other nonsense. The fact that they’re famous and knew this would likely occur does not make it ok or make the barbarians any less responsible for their dangerous and annoying actions. Not all famous people necessarily want to be famous. Some want to do whatever the job is and just have to accept the popularity that comes along with it. Some probably want to be actors, singers, and other things that will potentially make them famous, but not the fame itself, still wanting to live a life not being known and heckled by everyone who looks at them out in public. Fame is just a byproduct of certain jobs. Some like it. Some don’t. But whether or not they chose or want the fame doesn’t justify other people’s reckless and negative actions towards them when it’s interfering directly with their lives.
I don’t believe celebrities are generally any more or any less intelligent or wise than those in the general population.
They just have the ability to reach many more people and affect people at greater magnitudes because of it, usually.
When they have wisdom and a message and a cause and a story, they can reach millions upon millions of people.
But we who aren’t famous can still impact a number of lives somehow. And just reaching one, touching one heart for the better is amazing.
I don’t care that they’re rich. That’s the life they chose. They work for it. I can probably be rich too if I were determined, dedicated, skilled, and motivated enough to do what it takes and also desired a job that happens to have a mind-blowing paycheck come along with it. But I’m not. And I don’t care. The kind of job I want won’t make me financially rich and it doesn’t matter to me. It’s the satisfaction and value to others that the job will bring that I’m desiring.
Many people argue that celebrities don’t deserve the money just for acting or whatever. While that may be true, the point is, it’s the job they chose and most of us can choose the job we want as long as we have the appropriate skills and ability and motivation. Not all of us want to be actors or are driven or talented enough to be even if we wanted. Maybe our calling just doesn’t happen to bring with it such money. If you’re fortunate enough to strongly, passionately desire something,whatever it may be, have the skills it takes to obtain and maintain it and become financially rich, all the power to you!
And if you have all that but don’t get financially rich for it, still all the power to you! What really matters is if you’re fulfilled and living how you want!
I don’t see that it’s necessarily unfair in a way, that they get so much money, more than I have and more than other jobs. Because we can all choose to seek well-paying jobs if we have the skills. We won’t always get the job quickly, it may take a while, just like some celebrities struggle for a while before a big break and sometimes even after. And if we don’t have the skills, it’s not unfair. Some people are talented and geniuses at some things and not others. Some people have natural talents while some don’t. Some people have disabilities, illnesses, obstacles that others don’t. It’s just the way the world works. Many people have so much more than me. More money, more skills, more knowledge, more wisdom, more friends, more experience ….and many have less. That goes for most of us. It is what it is.
I think some people with certain jobs deserve just as much money as celebrities, and appreciation they don’t always receive, police officers, doctors, and others who save lives and risk their own.
I don’t think it’s the celebrities’ fault though that they don’t get paid like that and they do.
We can make a choice to take what we have and do the best we can while letting others also do that even if they seem to have better circumstances.
We can “bloom where we’re planted” while encouraging one another, celebrate each other, cheer each other on, celebrity or not. We’re all in this together. We can allow the success, happiness, accomplishments, and fortunes of other people to inspire us, motivate us, and guide us instead of letting it depress us or make us bitter or jealous.
It’s true some people have it easier but no matter what obstacles stand in our way, we can prevail somehow. And even the most successful and happy, joyful people can encounter problems, pain, and stress.
Famous and rich people are not gods, not invincible, not necessarily people to look up to merely because they are celebrities, not people to hold to greater standards than other people and criticize harder when they fall, in my opinion, not people to hold grudges against or not takes seriously merely because of their celebrity status.
I know some people disagree and think they’re morally obligated to be responsible and send positive messages to others. It would be great if they do but I don’t think they’re really obligated. It’s great if we all set positive examples for each other. But it’s usually not our obligation.
But some are worthy of being looked up to as positive examples just like some non celebs.
Rich and famous people are susceptible to pain, death, tragedy, illness, breakups, bankruptcy, bullying, abuse, breakdowns, loss, eating disorders, substance abuse, grief, mental health conditions, stress, discrimination, being detested, suicide, accidents, overdoses, being stalked, attacked, killed, assaulted….just like the rest of us.
And rich and famous people can also share deep wisdom and inspire us, and bring light & love to our world. Just like people who aren’t famous or financially rich.
“I don’t wanna get bitter like you
Like you, with the darts in your eyes
Like you, with disdain for mankind
I was charmed, now I wonder” ~ Jill Sobule
I just found now, a celebrity who has quickly won my heart. Yup, I’m in love.
Her name is Selena Gomez.
And the fact that she’s a famous person isn’t what inspires me. But if she were not famous I probably would not have the opportunity I now have been blessed with, to know her beauty.
I was doing self discovery/authentic self/art journaling activities, cutting out things in random old magazines when I came across something about Selena Gomez. I heard/read her name on various occasions but never really knew anything about her, never cared to, really. Just that she’s famous. I was never sure what she’s famous for, what she looks like, or anything else.
I do love reading celebrity personal interviews sometimes, no matter who they are, because I get a feel for the person’s true personality and we all know how much I love people. I’m just not more interested in celebrities than other people because of their status.
I love looking at pretty girls in magazines and getting hair, makeup, clothing style….ideas and see lots of gorgeous faces and beautiful bodies all throughout the magazines but I don’t always read about celebrities, just look and cut stuff out for arts and crafts activities.
I saw this page in a magazine with incredibly inspiring phrases and I was thrilled! I was about to cut them out and glue them into my journal when I saw one that says “Support Your Girls.” I assumed it was about boobs and a great bra and looking pretty. And I thought wow can’t go wrong with that one! Until I read the phrase underneath which reads “I love my girl friends more than I’ve loved any of my boyfriends….“
I realized it’s Selena Gomez who said that. And what she has to say is beyond amazing.
She loves her best girls and other girls she knows of, even ones she never met personally. Her friends love and support her and stand by her always, including when the men she has been romantically involved with did not. She loves women who empower other women. Taylor Swift is one of those girls she loves who empowers other girls. And this other girl Demi.
I love Taylor Swift also. She’s all for love and seems like a total sap like mee!!
Selena Gomez wants girls and women to stop comparing negatively, stop the competitions with fashion, best friends, and lovers and betrayal and just love one another, empower each other, support each other unconditionally.
“My wish is that girls would love girls more.”
Selena even loves girls who don’t love her back! Talk about amazing! She wants the best even for women who don’t return the love.
“I’m going to support her whether she likes me or not because I think she’s doing great things.” She says this of a girl, Lorde, she never met but truly adores. This girl, Lorde, doesn’t like Selena, according to Selena, at least when this interview was going on, March 2014, I think.
“Some day I will see her and we’ll be cool.“
So sweet! I have loved girls and wanted to be friends with certain girls who did not feel the same about me. I would be thinking “we would be perfect BFF’s, soul sisters, she just doesn’t know it yet!”
Lol!
Have you ever met a girl and think you two would just be amazing friends but she doesn’t seem to think so? It can be painful but we can still love and empower one another even if we’re not or don’t want to be friends with each other. We don’t have to wish to see each other crumble or see each other fail even if we don’t like each other. Girls who don’t like me back still have my love.
There are also girls I would not want to be friends with but still send my love and well wishes.
I never felt that romantic love is necessarily more important than platonic love. It’s different but not more important to me. I don’t believe romantic relationships are more worthy of special recognition than platonic friendships no matter what the gender of the people are. I love all love.
I agree that it’s best for women to build each other up, not tear each other down.
“Wise women don’t compete with each other; they empower one another.”
Selena also teaches a lesson on saying no. She says “You can’t be afraid of what people are going to say, because you’re never going to make everyone happy.“
She encourages girls to speak up when they don’t like something. She says saying it out loud is the first step to taking away fear. Say what you want. Express it when you don’t like something. She says that it took her a long while to learn this. Her friend Demi taught her this great lesson. Now she is teaching others. She explains that it’s effective to be direct, not aggressive.
I had to learn this too. In cases with people taking advantage of my desire and willingness to help, I had to learn to say clearly and directly, NO. Not because I don’t want to help or be kind, not as a punishment or to seek revenge.
To show people they can’t keep getting what they want by taking advantage.
When people take advantage of our generosity and kindness to the point it takes a toll on us, we have to think of ourselves as well. Our own health and well-being is just as important as everyone else’s. If something doesn’t feel right to you, say no. And if you wear yourself out just constantly doing for others, eventually you may be too exhausted to help anyone well.
Selena provides a lesson on finding your inspiration. She looks to others for inspiration sometimes. Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce, Demi. She finds inspiration in their music, songs, in the different moves they make. What inspires you? Who inspires you? Look around and look within and and allow your heart to open to the inspiration all around. Then create. Do. Be.
She also encourages to “Pick your power song.” She loves her song “Who Says,” which she declares is her anthem for girls. She says that when she performs it, she stops singing and allows the girls to sing it to her so they can hear themselves say “Who says I’m not perfect? Who says I’m not beautiful? Who says I’m not worth it?” She wants girls to feel that. This is so empowering. The fact that she let’s girls sing it themselves, become active and actually engage instead of just listen is truly amazing. What a wise young woman this girl is.
I feel my heart well up with love.
She encourages us to “never change for a guy” and talks about how some men may be intimidated by strong women but it’s important to remain ourselves. This goes for anyone though not just a man/lover/boyfriend/potential love interest/husband. I encourage us not to change for anyone but ourselves. Don’t change who you are for parents who want you to live out their dreams, jealous girls who want to see you fall, friends who won’t accept you as you are, society…don’t change for anyone except yourself if it serves you well to change because YOU want the change.
One of the most beautiful lessons she teaches here is “Give Your Whole Self.“
Selena says “I don’t feel like I can do enough for my fans. I work a lot, I work hard, and I get tired. But when you walk on stage and see these people who wait hours outside just to see you, it’s the greatest thing in the world.“. She states that she feels that her fans do so much for her and she doesn’t feel she can do enough for them. Her lesson is to give your whole self to people, all your love, your passion, your beauty. This can apply to any aspect of your life. Your work, hobbies your love, people you know, whatever you do, where ever you go, go with all your heart. Give it your all. Put your whole self into it. This is a beautiful way to live and love to the fullest. You don’t have to be perfect, you can be passionate and loving in all that you do. We don’t need perfection. Being passionate and loving is perfect enough.
And I think loving and truly appreciating and being grateful for her fans is enough. She embodies love so perfectly.
Selena Gomez is a wise and beautiful girl. Inside and out and our world is blessed to have her. Not for her music or work(that too) but for the powerful love she projects out into the world and the deep beauty of her life’s message. What a bright light. I would be honored to have a friend like her.
“So I’ll smile with the rest
I’ll wish everyone the best
And know the one who made it,
Made it cuz she was actually pretty good” ~ Jill Sobule
Xoxo Kim 😀
(this photo isn’t mine)
