The Carnegie Medal is a prestigious award considered one of the highest civilian honors in the U.S. and Canada.
I love this!!
There’s a medal of honor awarded to “ordinary” people who legit risk or even give their own lives or risk very serious bodily injury, to save another person’s life, often the life of a stranger.
They have to risk their own life to an extraordinary degree, to be considered for the award.
They said there are around 800 nominations a year, and only 11% are accepted to receive the medal of honor. That is amazing, though, that at least 800 people a year go to great lengths to save someone else’s life, even at the risk of their own.
They don’t just potentially risk their lives but actually have a significant risk of dying or experiencing serious bodily trauma.
To receive the award, the victim or survivor has to have been in a situation where their life was in imminent danger, where they would have died right then, if not for the person who saved them.
I’m reading a book about the science and psychology of altruism, and the Carnegie Hero Medal is mentioned. I heard of it before, but I decided to look it up now.
It’s very interesting. The website has many stories of people who were given this medal. Anyone can nominate anyone we want for it. The incident has to have been in the last two years, and the victim and “hero” had to have both been within inches of death. In some cases, the “hero” does die and receives the medal posthumously.
To receive the award, they have to come so close to dying that it’s a wonder they’re still alive. They don’t have to be injured, but many are. There has to be witnesses and/or media reports to confirm the incident really happened and is extraordinary enough to warrant receiving a medal.
They have to be people who risk their own life not as part of their job but out of the goodness of their heart, for no reason other than to save another human. And they have to know their own life is significantly at risk, to receive the medal.
I was skimming through the stories, there are hundreds. It is truly amazing and so heartwarming to read the lengths that people will go to save a stranger’s life. It looks like most of them are men. I was skimming through the list, and saw hundreds, and saw only one woman “hero.” That’s probably because men are more likely to take risks and are more likely to engage in physical things because of social programming.
They are also usually physically stronger. All of these situations are very physical. Many drowning incidents and pulling people out of burning buildings and vehicles and tackling assailants who are assaulting women.
There are probably more women/girls on the list, I haven’t looked at them all. A while ago, I did read a story about a 16 year old girl who received this medal for saving a drowning man. Jumped in and carried him out of an ocean.
There’s one where a stranger saved a man and his dog who were almost electrocuted. The dog bit him when he was saving them lol To receive the award, the victim/survivor has to be human.
One of the “heroes” is as young as 10 years old (he saved another child’s life). One is a 15 year old boy, he ran into a burning building to save a family in the middle of the night when he saw the flames across the street while he was staying in a motel with his dad. His dad was trying to convince him not to go through with it, but the boy wouldn’t listen. And he saved an entire family. He ran in like a super hero and woke them and pulled them out. The story is wild! The boy was injured by smoke inhalation. Everyone involved survived.
There were three teenagers who broke into a burning car and pulled out two women who were trapped. They went into the car after getting the women out, to make sure no one else was in there on the floor or anything. The car was burning down and could have exploded with them inside. One man gave his life for a stranger who was being attacked. She lived.
Just scroll through the list and read a few if you want to be inspired and have your faith in at least some of humanity restored. It’s a reminder that exceptionally good and brave people are among us. Ordinary angels!
It’s amazing and uplifting to see the extent people will go to save complete strangers, even knowing there is a very good chance they themselves will die trying. We see so much negativity in the news and on social media. So much violence inflicted on humans by other humans, wishing death on each other, arguing over politics, just walking by when seeing someone in distress or having an emergency…
Stories and people like the Carnegie medal heroes get overlooked and drowned out in all the negative things.
We need more people caring and more visibility!! 💚
I don’t necessarily recommend risking your own life to save someone else, but I do promote caring more than it seems society currently does and bringing visibility to cases where someone does go to this length, not because they want credit but because it restores our faith in humanity some, and it’s just uplifting and balances out the negative in the world.
Remember what Mr. Rogers said? Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.
I picked up the morning paper the headlines were no surprise a random act of senseless violence was committed again last night it seems the whole world has gone crazy and something needs to be done so starting today, I’m gonna find a way I’m gonna repay someone
With a random act of senseless kindness unexpected hand to help remind us a little bit of love is the cure for hate it’s easy to give up but it’s never too late a single step in the right direction person to person making a connection we can change the world that’s become so violent with a random act of senseless kindness
Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?
❤️
You never know who you may be helping or inspiring, even in difficult situations.
Years ago, I saw a short video clip with an elementary school teacher sharing his true experience with a troubled little boy.
He said the boy was very difficult. He yelled at the teacher and wouldn’t do his work. He was disruptive in class and was always verbally aggressive with the teacher. He could tell the boy hated him. It never stopped all year, the boy acting up and being rude & negative to the teacher.
He showed the boy nothing but love & kindness in return. He was always patient and tried to be as understanding as possible, but he said it was difficult. All throughout the yelling and disrupting the class and rudeness the little boy displayed, the teacher’s love never wavered.
At the end of the year, the kids all gave him a card, thanking him for being their teacher and for being kind & helpful.
He sat at his desk and read all the cards after the last class was over and all the kids walked out that one last time.
All the messages the kids wrote were positive. Then, he got to the card that difficult little boy wrote to him.
The teacher said he was anxious to open it. He hesitated and thought “Oh no, what is this one going to say.” He already knew it would be an insult or something like “I hate you, you were the worst teacher.”
Finally, he opened it and read. The teacher was shocked.
It read: “I wish you were my dad.”
He was deeply moved by just that one line.
That story stayed with me since I heard it many years ago. I’m not sure why. It’s a recurring memory through the years. It’s probably the best story I ever heard.
That must have been the best and most heartbreaking compliment that man ever received.
It just goes to show how our own life can touch someone’s else’s for the better, even in the least expected places. ❤️
It was a pleasant surprise. I had no idea I would be in a morgue today lol
I was trying to be discreet about taking pictures. Lol I would have taken more, but it was awkward 😆
It was cold in there.
This is one of the freezers and a gurney they lay the organ donors on.
I did not see any bodies. They were going to show us a kidney being pumped, getting ready for donation, but they send all the kidneys to Penn Hospital now.
This is a morgue only for kidney/tissue donors (just tissue now). There are a couple operating rooms in there where they remove them for donation. They also have the consent rooms where they take the families in to consent to donating their family member’s organ. It’s very sweet, whenever a family says “yes,” the staff puts a butterfly sticker up on the windows of the consent rooms, to honor the organ donor and the family’s gift of life.
I saw the elevator where the bodies are brought up. It’s a different elevator than the ones the living people use. It’s interesting because I have been around that building frequently at all different parts of the day, for many years, and have never seen a body being taken in or out. I have, very rarely, seen kidneys/tissue coming out in coolers to be taken to hospitals for transplant. But never a full body.
This morgue was specifically for kidney & tissue donors, but, now, they just do tissue.
Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.
Years ago, like 20+ years ago, I was taking a college psychology class, and I met a girl who was taking the same class with the same professor but a different part of the day than me. So, we weren’t in class together. She did not have the money to buy the text book. My dad bought my books for me. So, in the evenings, I would write out the portions of the book she needed for assignments, exams, and quizzes in an e-mail and send it to her. It was very time consuming. I’m not even sure if that’s legal, likely not as it was enough for her to not have to buy the book. But it helped her immensely, and I don’t regret it lol I know what it’s like to not have enough money for something essential. And I remember having no idea what I would do if my dad did not buy my books. Where do they think an 18 year old is going to get $500+?
Back then, these phones with the cameras and all weren’t really a thing or as popular yet. And I had no scanner and never really thought of making copies somewhere, which would have been much easier. So, I spent hours just sitting there writing the text out for a complete stranger I never even met face to face.
I met her in a group online where she wrote that she couldn’t buy the book yet and was desperate for help and pleaded with anyone to send her the content. I could feel the desperation in her posts. She had no idea what to do. No one else responded, so I did. Saved her ass 😆
I love posts like this because it’s uplifting & heartwarming & inspiring to see the goodness in humans. When we share our acts of kindness, it can inspire others to be kind or just brighten their day.
(I have sunscreen & olive oil on my skin/hair, so if I look greasy, that’s why 😆)
I’m bleeding out So if the last thing that I do Is bring you down I’ll bleed out for you So I bare my skin And I count my sins And I close my eyes And I take it in I’m bleeding out I’m bleeding out for you, for you
I donated platelets! Just eight days after donating whole blood!
This is my first platelet donation in a few years.
It takes hours hooked up to a machine with a needle and tube in both arms, for platelet donation. We’re restrained and can only move our legs and neck. The arms have to lay straight, can’t bend them or anything, the tubes in each one are hooked up to a machine. Can’t even look at our phone because we can’t hold anything. They do put a movie on for us. I watched “Jaws,” and the Red Cross nurse said “You picked a hell of a movie to watch while donating blood.” 🤣
Getting an itch or runny nose is the worst, there’s nothing that can be done about it. Just have to let the snots drip and itch go unscratched. I have allergies, so I tend to sneeze/get a runny nose. If you sneeze, you can’t cover your mouth & nose lol Awkward
The machine takes our blood through one arm and takes the platelets out of the blood, then it puts the rest of our blood back into our body through the other arm. They also have to inject us with stuff to reduce risk of blood clot and whatever else. It’s very, very, very rare, but I recently learned there’s a risk of death while donating platelets or any blood, even the simple whole blood routine. Say what??? Apparently, the risk is so low it’s not even worth mentioning to us, but I read it online.
It’s freezing cold when donating platelets. It’s something to do with whatever is happening to the body. It happens to anyone who donates platelets. It feels like being in a freezer even if the room is heated. They put a heated blanket on us and give us hand warmers, but eventually the heat runs out. We can probably request more.
They said most people don’t have this problem, but it makes me sick and lightheaded. Platelet donation always has. I feel like I’m going to pass out, even laying down. The feeling comes & goes throughout the donation. When I walk out after it’s over, I feel “under the weather.” I’m also all stiff because of not moving for hours. It also makes my whole face tingle and my fingertips. I don’t have this experience when donating whole blood, which is what I usually donate. I think it’s side effects of whatever they’re injecting me with, not the loss of platelets/blood doing this. There was one point where I thought, yeah, I’m not doing this again. Ever. Like ever. The next day, I’m back to my usual self.
The Red Cross said they need my platelets more now because of the ongoing platelet shortage crisis. We can donate once a week. They said the platelet crisis is extreme, there are so many more in need than are donating.
I guess I’m going to have to suck it up.
Me, after donating whole blood recently. (Again, the oily look is because I put various things on to protect my hair & skin against the elements)
It’s amazing that there are people sitting there hooked up to a machine for hours having parts of their body taken out for complete strangers. The Red Cross doesn’t pay their donors, but they occasionally give gifts and prize opportunities. They especially love platelet donors (and O blood donors because it’s the most needed blood type). The donors are getting nothing tangible out of it.
I was pleasantly surprised at how many other platelet donors were in there donating.
For the people who say people suck and there are no more good people, let’s remember our platelet donors. They are laying there for hours on a machine, some every week, giving parts of their own body away for people they’ll never meet. They aren’t just giving their body parts away but a significant amount of their time and some of their own comfort & health. And getting nothing in return.
I’m not a dedicated platelet donor, but there are people who are. There are people who haven’t missed a donation in many years. I would like to donate once a week and have tried before, but they said my body doesn’t produce enough platelets to keep giving them away. It only really makes enough for itself. Stingy bone marrow. Lol I also don’t want to risk becoming anemic, which can happen with frequent blood donation. I probably won’t donate every week, but if I have enough, I’ll try to frequently.
Donated platelets often go to cancer patients and organ transplant patients when theirs are too low.
I’m glad I donated, and even though it kind of makes me sick, it also uplifts me to know it’s going to help someone else, likely cancer patients. They have to sit in a chemo chair every week and a platelet transfusion chair, having no choice, I’m just in the donation chair, which is a gift. The least I can do is share that fortune with someone else. That’s the thought that motivates me to keep going. 💚
(Words are censored because I sometimes copy/paste posts off of Facebook to hereor here to Facebook where certain words can get us a suspension or post removal. They can’t detect context. So I can be posting about donating blood. It will see blood and automatically detect it as violence. Also, I censor common trigger words that people with trauma history may see.)
Content warning ⚠️!!!!! There is a picture of a human kidney in this post!! It will gross you out lol It’s not a scan image, it’s the kidney after it was taken out of my body before it was sent to its new person. I asked the surgeon to take a pic for me 😆😁
Questions we get asked as altruistic/non directed/living kidney donors and my responses:
1.) What if your child/family member needs a kidney transplantin the future, and now you can’t give them yours? Would you regret it?
Nahh.
This is probably the most frequent question.
I could not regret saving/attempting to save a life. I did what I felt called to do when I did. And if someone in my family needed a kidney transplantafter I donated to a stranger, I would remember that someone else’s family needed that kidney too and are no less worthy or less important than my family member. I wouldn’t be kicking myself wishing I held out knowing a whole other life is spared and enhanced. Of course if my family member needed a kidney transplant I would have given mine when I had two. But since that wasn’t the case, I wouldn’t regret it if it happens later. How could I regret someone else’s child, mom, grandad, sister, niece, best friend, husband….or just a person being alive??
And I would remember that there are kind people out there who would donate an organ to a stranger like I did and have hope that one of them would help my family member the way I helped someone else’s. I couldn’t imagine not helping someone when I’m passionate about it because maybe someone I know will need me later. That may never happen and then someone would be sick or dying, and I would miss the opportunity to get to experience being a living organ donor. It makes no sense to me to hold out for something that is very unlikely to happen when something is already happening now that needs tending to. Also, who is to say I will be healthy enough later? Health is so fleeting & fragile. I may not be qualified later if my family member needs one. People take good health for granted just assuming we’ll always be healthy. This question shows that in the assumption that I would still be healthy enough later to help a family member. I hope I will. But unfortunately there’s no guarantee. To be a living kidney donor, we also have to be financially fit enough and have appropriate life/work circumstances. At one point years ago my circumstances changed, and I wasn’t financially qualified or able to take off work for recovery and wasn’t sure when/if I would ever be qualified again. I got super lucky when things changed again for the better. There’s also no guarantee my financial/work/life situation won’t change again. I would miss my chance. I am nothing but lucky to have the gift of this very rare experience.
2.) What if your kidney goes/went to a Donald Trump supporter/Republican/some@$$hole?
🤣😂😆😭 As long as it’s not a Cowboys fan, we’re good!
Jk!
Altruistic or non directed kidney donation is certainly not for everyone.It’s not for the faint of heart. There are people who say they would love to donate a kidney to a stranger but are too afraid it will go to someone they feel is undeserving like people with certain political or religious views. I have read stories by people who donated their kidney but absolutely had to be sure it was going to someone who has Liberal political views like themor had to be sure the person has personality traits they like. They can’t be a non directed donor with this frame of mind. It can truly take a toll on someone emotionally to keep wondering if the person who has their kidney is worthy or if they find out who the person is and they don’t measure up to their standards. They have to go looking for a specific person in need and make sure that person measures up. I don’t understand it myself, I could never choose out of a list of people and decide someone is worthy of my kidney but someone else is not or prefer one over another out of multiple strangers, but whatever floats their boat, it’s their body and their journey, and their choice. If they want to save a life but only one they feel is worth it, that is valid. There is a website, MatchingDonors, where potential donors & recipients can browse and read profiles by people offering a kidney and needing a kidney. Like a dating website but instead of finding ourperfectromantic match, we find our perfect kidney match. Their pictures show up and any information they share about themselves. I tried it years ago and couldn’t choose. I knew altruistic/non directed donation is for me or if I just happen to see one particular person in need. But I couldn’t choose one of many. I wanted to help them all. Some tugged on my heartstrings more than others. But I could never choose.
It takes a certain kind of person to donate to a random anonymous stranger we know nothing about. It takes more than just compassion. It takes a strong stomach and a certain way of thinking. We have to truly believe every/almost every life matters and detach. We have to accept that our kidney can be keeping someone alive we absolutely would not be able to stand if we met them. Someone with values or personality traits we abhor. We have to feel that we not liking someone doesn’t mean they are less worthy just because we don’t like them. We have to step out of that egoistic, self important way of thinking to be able to be ok with non directed donation. Self important /egoistic in this sense is ok because kidney donation is an act of kindness, not an obligation. It’s completely valid to choose who we would and would not donate toor not donate at all. But it is egoistic to a certain degree,to decide one person is worth it and not another, and it does require us to avoid that sentiment that someone is inferior or unworthy “because *I* don’t like them” because “*my* opinion of them is the one that matters.” If we cannot overcome that sentiment, altruistic kidney donation is not for us. You know how ticked off you are every single day on social media. I see it every single day, my social media friends furiously bashing people of different political or religious views, arguing viciously with people then blocking them and still complaining about them after they’re gone, mocking people they don’t like, even wishing d3ath on certain people, laughing at some people who died. Could you handle it if your kidney was in one of their bodies keeping them alive? My self proclaimed Liberal humanitarian friends relentlessly mock some famous people who die, often because they’re Conservatives, sometimes because they’re greedy billionaires.
What if instead of one of them dying, they were still kicking and with YOUR kidney? If they were healthy and thriving and going on doing whatever they’re doing because your body part is keeping them going? Just imagine. Like I said, it takes a strong stomach lol
The way I see it is that a whole person is just that. A whole person. There’s more to every person than just their views/religion, more than just the aspects we see and cannot stand. They have interests, roles they play to others, goals… whatever I don’t like about them is only one aspect. And someone else loves them just how they are. Why does me not liking them make them less worthy when someone else does like them? My opinion is no more important than the opinion of the person who loves them. Someone isn’t less worthy just because *I* don’t like the person. I may not want to be their friend or not want them in my space, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be their kidney donor.
For example, those Donald Trump supporters. They wake up and drink coffee every morning, they go to work, they laugh at jokes them and their friends tell each other, they walk their dogs, they take their son to a ballgame and take their daughter out to lunch. They go home at night and watch their favorite movie or read their favorite books. They feel the same exact pain you feel when they get injured or sick. They feel the same fear if a g u n is pointing at them or they’re diagnosed with a devastating illness. They have the same longings to love and be loved and to live. If you cut them, they bl33d the same red. They have a whole life other than whatever someone doesn’t like about them. Who is to say they don’t deserve to live it?
I am reminded of Jeremy Bentham asking
Can they suffer?
In terms of whether or not animals are worthy of rights.
“The question is not, Can they reason?, nor Can they talk? but, Can they suffer? Why should the law refuse its protection to any sensitive being?” – Bentham (1789)
To me the question isn’t, Do I like them?, nor Do I agree with them? but, Can they suffer?
Also, are you a potential organ donor? Does your ID say you’re an organ donor? If yes, you may be donating to someone you wouldn’t like some day. You think all your organs that can be donated are going to only people who you would like and agree with on everything there is to agree on? Think again lol (I would not knowingly donate my kidney to a cold blo0ded murder3r, or a known terr0rist or domestic abus3r or serious s*x offenders or someone who has a lot of power and would use it for destructive things,…I would not want to aid in or support their large-scale destructive actions/energy in the world, but if my kidney happened to go to one of them, I would not regret my act of kindness because at least I tried to help, and it doesn’t take away any of the kindness on my part, a loving act is a loving act, there’s two aspects to donating a kidney, the practical help it offers someone and just the fact we did something so amazing. If my kidney went to an a-hole, it’s still an amazing thing I did)
I do not have a preference. I’m a Liberal atheist. If I found out the kidney I gave away is now making pee in someone who is a Christian Conservative and goes around calling people like me “snowflakes” and “sheeple” and “libtards” and “woke” and “commies,” (🤣😂) so be it. I’ll give you my kidney just before blocking you on social media 😆
To me, there is something beautiful about altruistic/non directed kidney donation. Not knowing, not caring who our kidney goes to because every life matters. So universal loving! Of course all kidney donations are equally beautiful.But non directed has this unique aspect to it.
The way I see it, what makes someone worthy of my kidney is the fact that they are suffering/have the ability to suffer, not that they agree with me on something or are a pleasant or kind or compassionate person. We all suffer or have the ability to suffer the same way irrespective of our views or personality traits or likability.
3.) What if you need a kidney transplant in the future?
I’m on the priority transplant list now, so if I ever need one, I can get one fairly quickly. Since I donated a kidney, I won’t have to wait years like the average person in need of a new kidney. I can get a living donor kidney within weeks/months very likely. Even if that wasn’t an option for me, I would have donated. The chances are very slim. And if it were to happen, I would deal with it just like everyone else who needs a kidney transplant deals with it. At least I would be able to say I’m sick because I took a chance and helped someone. So many are sick just because. I have a way better chance of being in a car crash, yet I still get into cars. And no one questions it. I’m much more likely to be a victim of g u n v!olence in the U.S than develop kidney failure, yet I’m out all day & night walking the streets of Philadelphia where g u n v!olence is rampant. And no one (except my mom) questions it or has an issue with it.
I’m rarely to never questioned on why I get into cars or don’t live in a bubble so I don’t get sh0tor ass@ulted or sick. But when it comes to a loving act of kindness to literally save a life, people question why I would or make remarks to say/imply that I shouldn’t have because of a risk to my own safety.
Someone may say getting into cars and going outside are worth the risks because it’s necessary, it’s needed to live life. This kidney transplant was necessary. It was needed for someone to live. That person is no less worthy or important than I am that my needs are worth certain risks but theirs aren’t.
💚💋😘
4.) What ever possessed you to give your organ away to a stranger/to lay on an operating table and risk dying for a total stranger? (Or something of this sort, but “possessed” has come up a few times 😆)
The philosophy that every life matters and that if we have more than enough of something (money, health, resources…) it‘s an even greater gift to share that with someone less fortunate in that respect. Remember all deceased organ donors donate to strangers. And blood donors too. What’s the difference if I’m alive and donate to a stranger? I donate blood regularly to random strangers. What’s the difference? If you checked yes to organ donation on your driver’s license and you die in a way where you can be an organ donor, you’ll be doing what I did, donating to a complete stranger. Is that such a wild cr@zy idea? To reach out and help a fellow human?
🫘
5.) What if you suffer a complication?
I may or may not suffer a complication, but for someone else there is no maybe. A person on dialysis or about to begin dialysis doesn’t have the luxury of maybe that I have. They are already suffering a complication. I’m lucky & privileged to even have that “maybe.”
Also, I hope I would never not do something that deeply resonates with me because of fear. Avoiding things we’re passionate about because of fear, is no way to live, in my opinion. I prefer to take chances if it’s something I truly want and feel called to do and whatever happens happens than living in a safe bubble not fully living and then dying as an old woman.What if I did not do this and wouldn’t have suffered a complication? I would miss out on the experience and always wishing I chose to go through with it and wondering what if I did. It has been on my mind every single day for over five years and on my mind off & on for many years before that. It was never something I could ever regret no matter what. It’s my dream come true!
6.) “I would never give my kidney to a stranger/anyone, you’re a better person than I am.”
This is a response I have received by a few people.
No one is a better person for doing an act of kindness. “You’re a better person than I am” only applies, in my opinion, if you’re going around intentionally interfering with or hurting others while I’m not.
7.) Are/were you scared?
Yes!! It took brass ovaries, and I got’em. The two weeks before surgery, my body would be gripped in a sense of panic waking up in the mornings. Sometimes it would feel that “fight or flight” response. Occasionally it felt like it thought it was getting ready to die. Lol Dramatic. My worst, pretty much only, fear was that I would experience prolonged fatigue when I live a very active life. Thankfully got no fatigue at all! On the morning of the surgery, I woke up completely calm and peaceful & hopeful, no anxiety or fear at all walking into the hospital with my two kidneys getting ready to send one off to a great new home. 💚
8.) What if you die/would have died on the operating table?
Very very unlikely. But what better way to go than in my sleep and saving someone else’s life? 😁
Scars n all 💚
🩷
9.) Have you met/do you want to meet your recipient?
No, I haven’t. And not necessarily. I do not mind either way. I don’t have the burning desire or curiosity that many anonymous donors seem to have. For me it wasn’t a social call but an attempt to enhance & extend someone’s life. If they reach out to me ever, I will be delighted. But if not, I’ll live. Lol Each transplant center has their own rules for when an anonymous donor or recipient is allowed to contact the other, anonymously. Some have to wait up to a year. So my recipient may not be allowed to contact me yet. I was allowed to contact them right away but did not. I may send them a card for our first Kidneyversary next year to brighten their day. My transplant center would send it to theirs. Not knowing who they are or if they’re grateful does not lessen the joy of my experience. Occasionally I’m slightly curious of the age & gender of the person.
10.) Has your life changed since donating a kidney?
Only in my mind. It’s the most amazing experience, I am filled with joy & ecstasy. I understand the meaning of “intimate strangers,” knowing a complete stranger and me are the only two in the world to have had this kidney in our bodies, that we both laid on an operating table on the same morning to become connected to each other forever. I know that everywhere I go, I’m very likely to be the only one there with one kidney. Every room I walk into, I’m the only one there who gave a kidney away and knows this rare unique experience. It’s an isolated feeling but not in a negative way.
After two weeks I was almost 100% my usual self. I jokingly asked if they even took the kidney. After a month I was 100%. I would never know I only have one kidney or had surgery if not for my memories & the beautiful scars.
Here are the lifelong restrictions/lifestyle changes I was told by my team:
1.) No NSAIDS 2.) No natural herb supplements 3.) No supplements made outside the U.S. 4.) Blo0d pressure check every six months 5.) kidney function tests once a year 6.) Extra water
11.) Can you still have kids?
Yes! Having only one kidney does not affect fertility at all. It does make it a “high risk” pregnancy though, so for women/birthing people who donate a kidney and decide to become pregnant later, it’s important to let their healthcare team know so they can be closely monitored to prevent very serious complications to the woman and the unborn. With close monitoring it can be a safe & healthy pregnancy.
12.) Are you religious/was this motivated by religious beliefs? No, I’m an atheist. I don’t need a god or religion to be compassionate or empathetic. My basic humanness is enough. I have felt it as a deep calling, it felt like something larger than me working through me, which is a bizarre experience for an atheist. And I have received what many believers would call “signs.” But I don’t believe in that. It was my desire to help someone that inspired me, and the deepcallingfeeling was just part of my experience. I don’t believe that any supernatural being would have been disappointed or punished me if I did not go through with it. And I don’t believe it scored me points with anyone or is my ticket into Heaven or some other afterlife. I just wanted to help someone!
💚
Living organ donation isn’t for everyone. These are just my experiences not something that everyone should feel for themselves. For me, living kidney donation truly felt like a calling. It was the easiest decision of this life of mine. I truly experience more stress trying to decide what flavor ice cream I want or if I want tea today or an iced latte 😂 No hesitation, no uncertainty whatsoever. I knew since the day I read a heartwarming story 15+ years before my donation, about a man who donated his kidney to an anonymous stranger, that I would one day do the same. I am 100% happy & thrilled with my decision. 💚🫘
Anyone interested in living kidney donation can check these out:
National Kidney Registry (the National Kidney Registry offers donor benefits like reimbursement for lost wages during recovery and travel/lodging expenses if necessary and a place on the priority list on the off chance the donor ever needs a kidney transplant in the future, also a kidney voucher for a friend/family member {or anyone} of the donor, so if someone they know ever needs a kidney transplant, since the donor donated to an anonymous stranger, they’ll let one person of the donor’s choice get a kidney transplant without waiting long, I donated my kidney voucher to another stranger, so two people are being helped through my one kidney donation)
Matching Donors (this website provides pictures and stories by people in need of a kidney transplant. Potential donors & recipients can browse and communicate with each other. A donor can choose to try to help a specific person, they may not be a match. But if they’re both associated with the National Kidney Registry, the donor can do a non directed donation and donate the voucher to the person they found on Matching Donors – this isn’t just for kidneys but other organs we can donate while alive also. Some people have donated their kidney AND a portion of their liver to different people {not at once lol usually have to wait around a year}! And it’s completely safe!)
(this is my FB post earlier lol Now it’s evening, & I’m in bed! 😁
Yup, it’s a sleezy bra pic, judge away lol
Kidney donation surgery recovery update.
Matching bra & leggings! 😆 I was getting dressed one day recently and realized they match and look pretty so had to get a pic lol Can’t see them here but my incisions are kind of purply & gnarly 😆 I think I look hella good for just having my body sliced open and an organ removed 😁
I’m recovering so well!! I’m so thankful I’m having the perfect recovery. Not one complaint except the problem with my neck being messed up under anesthesia. Overall, my energy level these last weeks since surgery have been essentially the same as before surgery. Impressive! Haven’t had fatigue at all or any serious pain related to the surgery itself! My first night home after the hospital the incision & abdominal pain was nearly unbearable. Burning pain. It kept me up at night. Thankfully after that night into the morning, it subsided. Fatigue was my main concern about donating a kidney because I’m very active. I was much more concerned about prolonged fatigue than prolonged pain. But it hasn’t been an issue at all. I only sleep at night and walk for hours a day! The only “fatigue” (it’s not even really fatigue but is a feeling like I have to stop & rest for a sec, I just called it fatigue) I have had occasionally but haven’t lately is because of a neck issue I have that was triggered by the way I was positioned while under anesthesia. They said that could happen. It’s actually more like lightheaded than fatigue though. Other than that, I am just as energetic and would be just as active as ever (still have to watch the incisions and my insides). My first days home I did as much walking/traveling as before surgery. I think that was too much, too soon because after that I did not have the motivation for that much walking, still walked a good amount though each day without getting tired usually and had a great amount of energy in general. Once in a while when I’m out walking I get the urge to sit down, it’s a kind of lightheadedness, I think, not really tired. But it goes away in a minute or two and I can continue walking a long while. I never have to take naps, haven’t taken a nap since the hospital! Just sometimes had to lay down for a minute til the lightheaded feeling passes then back up. I can feel myself getting better with each day. Many kidney donors struggle with the gas that they pump into us. I haven’t had any issues with the gas at all. No bloating or pain or anything. Once in a while I have felt a sense of pressure in different places, nothing much. I was prepared to feel pain all in my shoulders and all, which they said hurts like a biatch lol I can bend and laugh and cough, no problem! I feel that I could be back to work fully, but I know I can’t because I know my insides are still healing, and I can develop a complication if I’m not careful.
I haven’t taken any pain meds since my first day home a couple weeks ago except once in a while Tylenol for the neck issue, though nothing works for that, not even prescription pain meds or the IV meds. My lower abdomen and bladder were completely numb except the C-section-like incision. They said numbness could happen and could be permanent or temporary. I did not mind it. The feeling is beginning to come back. It’s burning pain on occasion but only mild overall. No problem to me at all. Whenever I feel a bolt of pain through my abdomen, I smile and remember what I did for someone. I am honored.
I have also been having some moderate level heartburn (ouch!). I usually don’t have that. It may be something to do with them having to move my intestines around and the intestines having to go back in place on their own. After they move our intestines out of the way and take the kidney, they sew us up and leave the intestines, and other organs they pushed aside, to find their own way back. 😳 Lol Hopefully they remember where they belong 😂🤣
My appetite is not the same as before surgery, but that was expected. I don’t have as much of an appetite and usually cannot taste food as intensely as before the surgery. I have a very strong sense of taste which is currently diminished. I also cannot eat as much. This is very common after donating a kidney and can last weeks or months. I was expecting it, but I was expecting it to be even worse. I don’t mind it. For the first days after surgery, nearly all food and drinks were repulsive to me. I was only able to eat whatever food I was in the mood for, first it was Mexican food. Then saucy stuff like mozerella sticks with sauce and pizza fries and pizza. Each day my body told me the only kind of food it would tolerate. And it was nothing healthy 😂 I wasn’t going to argue with it though, it just gave up a kidney. It can have whatever junk it wants while recovering. I’m lucky I still did have some of an appetite right away. And I could only drink soda mostly, which I generally don’t drink because it’s not healthy. My body would only accept cola usually, which we are supposed to limit with only one kidney because it can damage the remaining kidney. It’s ironic that I rarely drink it anymore, now after donating a kidney when I should not have it much it’s all I been drinking (I can only take a few sips here & there though, not guzzling bottles & bottles). But it’s only temporary. Water (and water based drinks like iced tea) was so repulsive to me, and I love water (and iced tea)! I’m slowly beginning to be able to drink it more again. Still kind of icky but healthy, so I’m trying! Now I can eat any kind of food, just very limited portions. Also been drinking electrolyte drinks some days.
I love seeing how strong my body is and how it has this amazing ability to heal itself (and someone else!). 💚
I also have been doing very well with my mood. We can develop something similar to postpartum depression or anxiety or grieve for the “lost” kidney, sometimes to the point of needing therapy or grief counseling. But I have no problems at all! Just happy and thankful!! I made the best decision and will always be happy with that decision to save a life. 💚 My kidney has a great new home, no doubt.
I have a post op appointment soon to check my kidney function and incisions.
I would never know I just donated a kidney just over two weeks ago!
Donating a kidney is easy peasy, I totally recommend it! 😁 (I’m just saying that playfully, some people have a much more difficult recovery or even serious complications, so not something to take lightly. I have compassion for people who have a difficult recovery. I just got lucky 💚)
Now I’m off to go get a caramel iced latte and go for a long walk around the city taking in all the lovely views (I never get tired of the same streets & buildings day after day, year after year lol You would think I’m a tourist in my own city). This is the life. 😁😍
#livingkidneydonor 🫘😁
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I hope you’re having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are! 💚
On the late afternoon streets, everyone hurries along, going about their own business. Who is the person walking in front of you on the rain-drenched sidewalk? He is covered with an umbrella, and all you can see is a dark coat and the shoes striking the puddles. And yet this person is the hero of his own life story. He is the love of someone’s life. And what he can do may change the world. Imagine being him for a moment. And then continue on your own way.
Content warning ⚠️: last couple pictures are of my incisions. I requested a picture of the kidney after they removed it. 😆 But they haven’t sent it to me yet. Lol
On 1/16/2024, my lifelong dream came true.
I had the honor of becoming a living kidney donor, giving the gift of life to someone in need. 💚🫘 What a beautiful, rare, awe inspiring experience.
For almost as long as I can remember I have wanted to donate my kidney to a stranger, just anyone who could use my “spare.” When I was young, I read a heartwarming true story about a man who donated his kidney to the next person on the transplant list in the U.S. He said we are all the same inside, and he wouldn’t hesitate to do this for his own son, so it made no sense to him to hesitate doing that for anyone else. He said something along the lines of everyone he looked at is the same as his son, someone who wants to live, be happy, and healthy. I instantly recognized him as part of my soul family. I knew exactly what he meant. I KNEW then deep inside that that would be me one day giving my kidney to a stranger because everyone I look at is the same, the same as my own friend, my own family member, the same as me. There is no difference. That person is not my mom, not my brother, not my friend, not my child, not my spouse, not my niece, not my nephew, not me. But that’s someone else’s mom, daughter, husband, wife, friend, Grandma, coworker, neighbor, child and most importantly, someone. Someone who wants to live and be healthy. I have always had the gift of perfect health and endless energy. So after hearing again about altruistic kidney donation on the radio many years after that story, I decided to go for it, and after a long journey of medical & psych evaluation, interviews, paperwork, phone calls, more medical & psych testing to be sure I’m qualified…I woke up on Tuesday 1/16/2024 and chose to give life to an anonymous stranger in another state. Our surgeries were said to be flawless, and our kidneys are functioning perfectly. My doctors told me I was walking out of the hospital with one kidney just as healthy as when I walked in that early morning a couple days before with two kidneys. My only strict lifelong restriction is NSAIDS (Advil, Aspirin, Motrin…). No dietary restrictions, but I do have to be more careful than most with salt & things. And it’s especially important for me to stay hydrated now with one kidney. I need more water than most each day to keep my one lil bean happy. It’s doing the work of two! I have no doubt that my experience giving life to a struggling human is just as much a gift to me as it is to that person. 💚🫘
💚🫘“From the entire NKDO community, thank you for your selfless act of donating a kidney. Your extraordinary compassion and generosity are an inspiration to all of us.” 💚🫘Oneweek kidneyversary today and recovering so well!! 💚
Content warning ⚠️: incisions.
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They pumped my abdomen with gas to make room for the surgeon to work, so it’s bigger here
I’m so honored to have this experience! It’s the experience of a lifetime! 💚 To know a part of me is literally keeping someone else alive. My beautiful body is keeping someone else alive and working hard to heal & keeping itself alive. Most people don’t get accepted to donate a kidney because of health issues usually, even minor ones can get someone rejected. I am so lucky with my health and knew I had to share that gift with someone else. ♥️♥️♥️
I’m wishing you a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are!
This is what I’m doing!! Likely in October this year!! They’re looking for my match now somewhere in the country (there are multiple matches). My dna is entered into the kidney registry database, then hospitals around the country with a patient who is a match for me will receive the notification, and one of the hospitals will accept my kidney based on the date I choose and other factors! My kidney will be removed here in Philadelphia at Penn Transplant Institute and sent to its new home on an airplane! 🫘💚 It will likely give someone 20(+) more years of health & life.
In 2019, there were 387 altruistic (NDD) kidney donors in the US & 184 in 2014. It’s becoming more common! I first heard of it being a thing when I was a 20 something year old girl. At one point only friends & family could legally donate, and people were trying to get that changed. When it became legal, I read a story about a man who donated one of his healthy kidneys to a complete stranger in need, not even a stranger he encountered and wanted to help personally, but a stranger he never met or saw and knew nothing at all about and maybe never would, the person next on the transplant wait list who he matched with. I *knew* that’s something I would do and felt in my bones it would someday be me giving my kidney to a random stranger. Now all these years later, here I finally am!!
I’m so thankful & happy & honored that I have been chosen by the PENN Transplant team to be one this year! What a rare and beautiful thing to be part of, so life affirming and universal loving. 💚💚💚💙💙💙
The day I have been waiting for, hoping for, longing for, and fearing just the same!
I took off work for this! And I never take off work! I work seven days, morning through evening.
I’m going in for an mri, ct scan, ekg & vascular testing, chest x-ray, blood testing, a urinalysis, and who knows what else! Six hours straight of non stop medical testing head to toe at University of Pennsylvania Hospital Kidney Transplant Center! Yippee! I’m over the moon! Floating in the clouds. This is the day that will determine (along with a couple other things, but this is the main thing) if my kidney gets a new home in a couple months! 😱
I’m beyond honored just for this opportunity to be evaluated. It took a three hour psych evaluation, some preliminary medical testing, interviews with the transplant team, applications and paperwork, dr appointments, to be qualified to get to this point. I’m so thankful we’re finally here!!
If all goes as planned, out of the blue a random unsuspecting person will get The Call that 20+ years will suddenly, unexpectedly, be added to their life with a greatly enhanced quality so they can live an almost normal life. That warms my heart.
Many years ago I read a story in a magazine about a man who donated his kidney to a random stranger because he had two healthy kidneys while someone else did not even have one. That inspired me and planted the seed in my mind. I just knew that would be me one day, and here we are all these years later!
No matter what, in the end, at least I can say I tried. 💚
I’m wishing you a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are!
