Tag Archive | love

30 Days of Photos – Day 9 {watching the wheels}

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“I’m just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round,
I really love to watch them roll,
No longer riding on the merry-go-round,
I just had to let it go.”
~ John Lennon ❤

Day 9 (August 9th for me) for the 30 day photo challenge is intended to be a day to capture a photo of anything with wheels.

It reminds me of this sweet and philosophical song sung by John Lennon. It's very thought provoking!  

What a lovely song…

“I tell them there’s no problem, Only solutions.” What an amazing outlook on life!

Whenever we think we have a problem, let’s just remember these words of wisdom. Every problem is an opportunity to evolve and strengthen our mind. And an opportunity to express and deepen our creativity, finding and creating solutions! Problems can also help us deepen our empathy for others, which is a great thing! Instead of feeling defeated by our problems, let’s instead feel exhilarated at the thought of all the solutions around and within us.

Watching the Wheels – mobile

Watching the Wheels – desktop

check out the photo challenge here!

Much0 love to you! 

❤

Xoxo Kim 😀

30 Days of Photos – Day 8 {still life} <3

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Day 8 for the 30 day photo challenge is to get a still life photo. 

On August 8th, I took pictures of a fake flower (above) and then found apps online to make the pictures resemble still life paintings.  

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“In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you.” ~ 
Deepak Chopra

“Learning how to be still, to really be still and let life happen – that stillness becomes a radiance.” ~
Morgan Freeman

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“So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.” ~
T. S. Eliot

“To know yourself as the Being underneath the thinker, the stillness underneath the mental noise, the love and joy underneath the pain, is freedom, salvation, enlightenment.” ~
Eckhart Tolle

“I have patches of insomnia, and I’m fascinated by the otherness of the world at night. The stillness. Daytime preoccupations fall away, standards change, thoughts change. It’s a canvas for reinvention, I think.”
Morag Joss

Interesting! Seems like a positive view on insomnia for once. Even when something sucks, there has to be a bright side or something positive to embrace!  

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“Each solstice is a domain of experience unto itself. At the Summer Solstice, all is green and growing, potential coming into being, the miracle of manifestation painted large on the canvas of awareness. At the Winter Solstice, the wind is cold, trees are bare and all lies in stillness beneath blankets of snow.” ~ 
Gary Zukav

This is a beer bottle outside of a bar/restaurant that I took a picture of and turned into a “painting.” 

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Want to participate in the 30 Days photo challenge?! Here you are: free e-course – photo challenge

Much love to you! ❤

😀

xoxo Kim

30 Days of Photos – Day 7 {where the road will lead you} <3

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“you’ll never see exactly where
the road will lead you
and when it comes to love
you gamble when you need to
you’ll maybe break your heart
on one unlucky throw
but then again you never know” ~ Ringo Starr ❤

Day 7 for the 30 day photo challenge, which for me was August 7th, it is intended for us to get a picture of a road or path. 

That's one of my favorite things to get pictures of! Especially Cobblestone streets here in Philadelphia! ❤

These pictures were taken August 7th.

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And this one was taken a couple months ago.

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This is the same picture but with a vintage effect.

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Sign up for the free e-course here.

You’ll Never Know – Ringo Starr mobile

You’ll Never Know – Ringo Starr – Desktop

Much love to you!

❤ 😀

xoxo Kim ❤

30 Days of Photos Day 5 {I Saw the Sign}

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“Life is demanding without understanding
I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign
No one’s gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong
But where do you belong?”

Day 5 for the photo challenge, which for me, was yesterday, August 5th, is to take a picture of a sign! I love taking pictures of signs! I take them whenever I can. There’s just something about signs, like especially traffic signs, that I love and they look great in pictures. 

They are part of ordinary, everyday life, which I love to express the beauty of, but they can also be a part of trips and vacations! Some people love to get pictures of signs when they travel to document all the places they visit. To them, signs are symbolic of wonder and the various thrills they experience everywhere they travel to. So signs aren’t just signs and for specific and practical purposes; they represent different things to different people. 

And this reminds me of the song sung by Ace of Base, which I used to listen to when I was little, over and over! I would take my CD and CD player outside and my friends and me would blast it and dance up and down the street singing! It was a popular song back then and kids would be knocking for me to come out with my CD! Lol 

I haven’t heard it in a while. 

Here it is! 

I Saw the Sign – Mobile

I Saw the Sign – Desktop

I like the message conveyed in the song that it’s up to us to better our own life and we are responsible for our own happiness. Other people and things can help and contribute but it’s ultimately up to us to work on our own self and our own life to make things great! Bring in people and things that lift us, avoid/eliminate things that contribute to unhappiness. 

The picture above is one I got today as I was walking up a street, of the back of a stop sign. I think it’s an interesting perspective since usually it seems we automatically think to get pictures of the front or main parts of things. I also love how blue the sky is today with all those fluffy white clouds! So gorgeous! I caught a glimpse out the window when I woke up today and was instantly delighted. The photo has an effect on it to make it darker in some places and with a yellow/red tint. I love that effect on a lot of photos. It’s called “Rose effect.” It doesn’t look good on all photos. It’s dark so if the photo is already dark, it may not look good.

One of my life goals is to often take pictures to express the beauty of ordinary, simple, overlooked or forgotten things. Things we see so much, we think nothing of. Stop signs, for example. People who are driving (hopefully!) notice them for the practical purposes they serve. But if we stop and really look, we can appreciate the beauty of them, the colors and lines against the sky or whatever surroundings are there. We can use drawing, painting, photography, and other artistic/creative outlets to convey the true beauty of overlooked or forgotten things. 

The pictures below weren’t taken today but in the last few weeks. But they are all of signs, which is the topic for the day!

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The door to the bar on the street corner on the street I live. I don’t drink alcohol, never have other than like a few sips. But I love alcohol related things for some reason. I love beer cans and whiskey bottles and take pics whenever I see them. I like wine glasses and hearing loud people outside a bar at night. I love when I’m walking by and hear the drunken karaoke and laughter and music blasting through the door. Especially when it’s oldies! I even like the tipsy arguments that occur and the funny slurred insults slung by people who have had a little too much to drink. There’s just something about it that captures me. It’s not uncommon for me to hear them vomiting on the corner or see it the next morning as I’m walking by. (The joys of living close to two bars!) That, I don’t like. I always feel so sorry for them. That part can’t be fun! My mom says they do that to themselves they don’t deserve sympathy. But self inflicted pain is still pain! 

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This picture is a couple years old. It did not turn out how I wanted it to but I absolutely love the distorted reflection of the stop sign on the car window!

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It’s not uncommon for me to see traffic signs laying on the ground.
This photo also has the rose effect on it.

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Rainbow street sign! ❤ 😀

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Don’t block the box! lol ;-p

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So, is this enough pictures for you? I love showing off my “work.” lol J/K I often call it my “work” to my sister as a joke because she thinks my pictures are all shitty and pointless so I try to make it sound all serious and professional to her. ;-D

You can sign up for the free e-course and begin the photo challenge any day you want:

30 Day Photo Challenge E-Course

I hope you are having a beautiful day/night!! ❤ 😀

xoxo Kim

30 Days of Photos Day 4 {extraordinary in the ordinary}

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Day 4- August 4th

Day 4 for the photo challenge is to get a picture of an ordinary object. Any object we desire to capture. The point is to see beauty in the ordinary.

I chose a remote control in my house.
I don’t watch TV. Sometimes I watch movies on tv.
I haven’t made it a point to watch TV in years, occasionally if someone else has it on, I watch parts and laugh like “King of Queens” & “Full House.” If I watched tv, those would be two shows I can get hooked on. I watched Full House when I was a little girl and always loved it. ❤ But now tv isn't my cup of tea. I'm always reading. I don't want to commit to watching a tv show each week. I would get restless and always have something better to do. When I say "better," I mean better for me. I don't think everyone watching TV should be or could be doing something better. It's all about our own interests. I just can't get into it. 

But I realize that TV shows are not just entertaining and educational, they can provide us with a sense of comfort or escape for a while. 
They can be a way to cope with grief, depression, or any problem someone may have.
Through the days, weeks, months, years, we can come to feel that we know the characters and places almost as our own family/friends and places we know.
The actors (and all those involved in creating the tv show) bring them alive on screen to touch us in deep ways.  They bring tears, laughter, togetherness, joy, thrills…
Even though I don't watch TV, I often love the warm, cozy feel of a tv being on in the background with a fun show or movie. 
I love the idea of people cuddling up with friends & family together, drinking tea, eating popcorn, laughing while watching something wonderful! 

This is only one remote control but I put a mirror effect on it. 

The 30 day photo challenge is here:

30 Day Photo Challenge Course

You can sign up for free whenever you want, it’s at your own pace and there really aren’t any rules. Just each day you take a pic of whatever the topic is that day and share it on your blog, twitter, instagram…wherever! You can get creative with the perspective, angles, editing, effects…

I’m wishing you much love & happiness today & always!

❤

Xoxo Kim 😀

30 Days of Photos – Day 3 {Rule of Thirds}

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I wrote this on August 3rd but couldn’t post til now(August 4th). 

Rule of thirds 

I’m not sure if my picture today (Aug. 3) follows the rule of thirds accurately but I like it!

I haven’t quite grasped the rule yet.
But at least my subject isn’t directly in the center of the picture, which is the point for Day 3. And my attempt is all that matters anyway!  
(I think this picture may also submit to the rule of negative space?)

This is my Buddha green aventurine bracelet.

It’s supposed to attract positive energy, optimism, amazing opportunities, increase confidence, help us connect more deeply with nature, help with depression, anxiety, be calming, good luck…and all kinds of other stuff.
Aventurine is considered by some to be the luckiest stone! 

My sister and me both have one. She loves stones and what they represent. 

Unlike my sister, I don’t believe that stones, real or fake, can really bring good luck and things but they can be symbolic and a great reminder! Also, this has a little Buddha head on it! Isn’t he cute?!

His expression is so calm like he hasn’t a care in the world and I feel so calm and peaceful just looking at his face on my bracelet. True calmness is within and not about our environment. We can be in the most hectic, distressing, painful environment but still stay peaceful and joyful. We may or may not naturally be calm & peaceful but whether or not we are, with practice we can develop and deepen and maintain a generally calm mind. 

All Buddha figures represent calmness & love but not all of them are crafted as well and look this good. Some Buddha statues and charms just creep me out. It’s a kind of heavy bracelet too, of great quality. I love it! 

Along with sharing my picture, I will share some of his sentiments. Buddha’s teachings can benefit everyone in some way, even just a few of his ideas put into practice can be life changing. 

Last night I had a Buddhist dream.

Did you ever have one of those experiences where you are dreaming and something happens in real life while you’re dreaming and the thing that happens gets incorporated into your dream? Like a dog barking for real then in your dream a dog appears and is barking in your dream but it’s the real one you hear and you awaken to the real dog barking.

I had an experience like this in the morning.
Only it wasn’t barking that was incorporated into my slumbering dream.
I was in class during a Buddhist ceremony and we were doing some ritual. The monk who teaches our class was, in my dream, performing a ritual and all of a sudden something wet and messy dropped on my head during class. I was drenched in liquid and chunks and slop and heard a retching noise and woke up! Unfortunately it wasn’t just a dream! My big pitbull was in my bed hanging over me throwing up! All over me! My head, my arm, my side… Lol She’s not sick; she just has a weak stomach, she always did.
What a way to wake up! 

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This is my pitbull, my fuzzy sausage girl, my furry soulmate, Isis Summerjo. How can anyone resist the cuteness?!

I had no idea what I was going to get a picture of today. I went out and forgot my phone then I had to go to work and at work I was thinking of what to get a pic of then I thought oh of course, my Buddha bracelet!” 

Then I remembered my Buddhist dream and that unfortunate experience! Lol 

So here are some of Buddha’s views.

Do not wish for gratitude. 

Help other living beings just to help, not to receive gratitude in return. Someone may be greatly helped or uplifted or inspired by what we do and that’s enough even if the person isn’t thankful to us. We don’t need people to gush over us for helping them or complimenting them and we don’t need credit or something tangible in return. Love to love, not just to be loved in return.

Do not be boastful – sometimes we will be really good at something that others suck at, we will do something great, we will have what someone else doesn’t, we will accomplish something good, we will learn and come to know things that are important that other people won’t seem to grasp, we will be wiser than some people. But let’s remain humble anyway and use our gifts and fortunes to benefit others. It’s ok to be confident in our abilities and gifts and be thankful but not good to act arrogantly with others or be proud at their expense. 

Rejoice in the fortunes and success of others –
 
Let’s not be jealous. Let’s be happy for others when something good happens to them. Remember how it feels to have something good happen to us then know that’s how they feel and take pleasure in it. It gets us nowhere to feel jealous and unhappy because someone else succeeds, it just feels unpleasant and can lead us to act in unpleasant ways to those around us. It generates negative energy. And remember there’s enough goodness for all of us. When one person wins, we all win. We can even let their happiness and success motivate us and inspire us to take action to better our selves. 

Do not retaliate – when someone does something to hurt us, whether physically or emotionally, or to hurt someone we know, we may feel like seeking revenge, lashing out, holding a grudge…this isn’t good for anyone. It’s detrimental to harbor anger and loathing for someone and it doesn’t usually make the situation better and it often worsens it. 
Act on compassion instead of anger, reach out to help and console the one hurt, not act on fury against the one who hurt the person/other sentient being. And if we are the one hurt, we can reach out to others in a similar situation or just be sure to never do to others what someone did to us. We know how it feels to be hurt, let’s try to avoid doing that to others when we can.

Use every occasion with a person who angers us, as an opportunity to practice patience and cultivating an attitude of compassion, instead of acting on anger. We don’t have to repress the anger, just take a few breaths, consciously, and imagine how acting angry just worsens things, often. It’s good for us and everyone around us to stay calm and loving no matter what. It doesn’t mean not speaking up, just not acting negatively. 

Don’t be consumed in guilt – guilt, when it’s excessive or delusional, does no good. Even if we really are guilty, we can be sorry, vow to try to never hurt someone or do something like it again, then move forward. Nearly everyone makes mistakes, acts unkindly, messes up, is wrong sometimes and there’s always hope, just keep going and help others along the way. 

Cherish others above the self.

Pay close attention to your mind and thoughts, attempt to have positive, loving thoughts.
When you catch unpleasant thoughts, redirect your mind.

Offer the victory to others and accept defeat upon our self. Let others be right even if they aren’t. It’s ok to speak up. But it’s more important to be loving & kind than to be right.

    Advice from Atisha’s Heart

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“Profit and respect are nooses of the maras, so brush them aside like stones on the path.” ~ Atisha

Let’s not be concerned with gaining material/monetary wealth or the respect of others. Do what you know is right deep inside.

“Avoid places that disturb your mind, and always remain where your virtues increase.” 

When we can, let’s avoid places that drain the life out of us, tempt us to do negative things, and are just not good for us. And visit places that nourish our goodness. But remember it’s mostly not about our physical environment but our attitude and perspective that lead to happiness or pain. 

“Avoid friends who cause you to increase delusions, and rely upon those who increase your virtue. This you should take to heart.”

Same with people. We can love them, wish them the best, and go our separate ways.

“Do not be jealous of others’ good qualities, but out of admiration adopt them yourself.”

“Do not look for faults in others, but look for faults in yourself, and purge them like bad blood.”

“Do not contemplate your own good qualities, but contemplate the good qualities of others, and respect everyone as a servant would.”

“Always keep a smiling face and a loving mind, and speak truthfully without malice.”

“Generate compassion for lowly beings, and especially avoid despising or humiliating them.”

“Have no hatred for enemies and no attachment for friends.” 

Loving our friends is good, being attached is not. Let them go if they leave and not depend on them for our general happiness. Love them unconditionally. But keep in mind that the relationship as it now is will one day come to an end either through death or a breakup or drifting apart. Most things do not and cannot last forever. Acknowledging this and accepting it while cherishing those we currently have will help it be easier to cope with loss. 

See, these things can apply to everyone, not just Buddhist people. 

We may not always live up to these things but it’s good to try and each moment we display these qualities is amazing! Whenever we fall, we can just get back up and keep going, lifting others every step of the way. 

❤

Much love to you!

❤

Xoxo Kim 😀

Live & Love <3

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My favorite kind of soda has always been Coca Cola. But in the Summer I often prefer iced tea and lemon-lime soda like 7up, Sprite, Mt. Dew…they just seem to quench my thirst better in the hot weather and they also taste better warm, to me, than Cola. I don’t mind warmer soda, I actually prefer it to freezing cold. But not piss warm. Soda tends to get so hot quickly in the Summer. And lemony stuff just tastes better to me when it’s hot than Cola does.

So I bought a box of Sprite cans and am so delighted to see they are a limited edition with inspiring quotes on the cans! 

My absolute favorite one is “Live with it & love it. ” I cannot believe how much it speaks to me. I was so inspired the second I read it.

It’s not at all rare that I find a quote that deeply inspires me but it’s more rare that I find one that tugs on my insides like this one seems to do. I just felt a click, a pull, a deep feeling of knowing when I read this on my soda can. I even saved the can and my mom wasn’t happy! Lol 

But this quote! It reminds me to not just “live with it” but love it! Whatever “it” is. It can be anything. Physical pain, depression, any kind of struggle or problem no matter how seemingly severe or trivial. Live with it. And love it. Even if we can’t love the problem or pain itself, we can love what it teaches us, reminds us, love how it strengthens us and love life itself even with the problem.

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And looking at this quote at another angle.

Live with it & love it.

It can even be referring to a positive/happy thing. Live with whatever beauty we have been blessed with and love it. Feel it, cherish it, acknowledge it, honor it. It’s not just pain that teaches us and strengthens us. Happiness & joy can also teach us, remind us, strengthen us.

This quote can apply to absolutely anything and that’s the main beauty of it I think. 

What a wonderful reminder this can of soda has brought me! I’m thankful it’s Summer and I needed my thirst quenched! 

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Much love to you, ❤

Xoxo Kim 😀

Perspective

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“Another day has almost come and gone
Can’t imagine what else could go wrong
Sometimes I’d like to hide away somewhere and lock the door
A single battle lost but not the war (’cause)
Tomorrow’s another day
And I’m thirsty anyway
So bring on the rain” ~ Jo Dee Messina

I took this picture a few weeks ago on Thursday (and put a blur effect on it) and for some reason it looks like it’s the dead of Winter. What is up with the bare trees on the side?! Lol! There’s fluffy green ones that appear to be quite fruitful,  in the back but what about those ones?! The barren ones.  I burst out laughing when I saw them! It’s the dog days of Summer! Then my mom who was also laughing (she can be easily amused like me, just not as much usually), showed me the same kind of dead looking trees across the street! I don’t recall ever seeing bare trees like this in Summer before. Maybe they were always there but I just wasn’t paying attention(how unfortunate!). I know in April there’s a mixture of bare and blooming trees because Winter is still just ending and Spring is beginning. But it’s July! 

Anyway, I was recently thinking about how almost nothing (some people would say absolutely nothing) exists inherently. It’s all about our perception or perspective. Two people can look at the very same thing and one sees something completely different. In fact, one person can look at something one moment then later look at that same thing but view it differently even when the thing hasn’t changed.

The weather for example, some people view dreary, rainy days as miserable while someone else is inspired and thrilled. One person can be thrilled about hot, humid days while others find them to be disgusting. Also, just look at the reviews for books, hundreds of people say it’s amazing then hundreds more say the same book sucks. It’s the same exact book! This just goes to show it’s all about how we view things. Is one person really right and one wrong? Or when I view something one way then my perception changes about that same thing later, was I right then or now? 

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In my daily book of positive quotations, I found this quote:

“A weed is no more than a flower in disguise.” ~ James Lowell

It reminds me to try to change my perspective when I’m struggling with depression. I’m generally very positive, even when I’m depressed, I often find things to see beauty in. But when I’m severely depressed, it is so hard to see life as a whole, in a positive way. I still see specific  beautiful things around me but ultimately I’m hopeless or so stuck in a very negative state. 

I noticed that some of the things that I view as positive or neutral when I’m not depressed, suddenly become very negative to me when I am depressed.

When depression hits me, every little thing is easy to interpret as negative. If someone looks at me when I’m depressed, I can take it as a bad thing, like that person thinking something negative, even if the person compliments me, I can misinterpret it as being mocked instead of sincere, if someone I know walks by me and doesn’t say hello, I can automatically take it very personally and negatively, where if this happens when I’m not depressed, I don’t really care why the person did this or can think maybe the person did not see me or did not want to talk to anyone. When I’m depressed, I often think of all the negative things people ever did to me or said to me, even years ago. As soon as my depression lifts, I no longer care and even realize that some of those things weren’t even negative.

There are days I am so thankful and think this life is a beautiful one, I have a house to live in, good health, a couple of friends, a family, a job, my senses….and the very next day or even the same day, I become depressed and feel that it is a terrible one, I live in a house but it’s not my own, I live with my mom, dad, and sister and feel that I’m not acting as a responsible adult, I have a job but not a “real” one, my health isn’t as good as it can be, I don’t have many friends, my family isn’t perfect….when my life is no different that day than the day before when it was absolutely beautiful! Nothing changed but my perspective. 

It’s all about perspective. 

Noticing this about myself, often helps me significantly when I slip into a depressive episode. I remind myself that this negative sensitivity to everything around me is only because of my condition. It’s an illusion. It won’t make my depression go away but it can help me cope and make it so my depression doesn’t get even worse by dwelling on the negative. I keep making it a point to change my views and my thoughts into more positive ones and remind myself how just recently, I viewed these very same things very positively. 

This can also help people who aren’t depressed or don’t have depression ever.  It doesn’t take just depression for us to sometimes view things negatively and feel completely low. 
Sometimes we can think our friend or lover or relationship or job is perfect or amazing then later see all the ways they can be better. Our mood can affect our perspective. 

Our situation can be exactly the same today as it was yesterday but we can see it in a very different way. It’s actually quite fascinating! 

Even if something was always bad or we always viewed it that way, we can still try to view the situation more positively. Maybe it’s teaching us something or it’s necessary to get to something better. If we can’t change it, let’s change our attitude. 

One way I found to help this is to intentionally focus on the positive in the people and things around us and remind our self that maybe it’s only our mood clouding our perception anyway. Make it a point to look for the good in everything and tolerate or accept the bad when we can’t distance our self. 

I was browsing songs on YouTube and came across the song “No Scrubz” by TLC.

Remember that song? 

No Scrubz – mobile

No Scrubz – desktop

I think it’s kind of rude. 

She criticizes him for thinking he’s “fine” or something like that, for trying to get with her while hanging in his best friend’s car, for living with his mom, for looking like trash, while she’s looking classy, for being a broke ass (lol), for talking about all that he wants while having no money…

When I first listened to this song recently, after not hearing it in years, I automatically saw the good in this “scrub.” He doesn’t have money but he does have a best friend and a mom and his mom allows him to live with her. That’s better than money! Best friends and moms are the best to have! Who cares about money! Lol And it’s clear in the song that he does have a phone number, whether his or his mom’s or someone else’s, he has access to phone service! 
Also, while it’s not really respectable to be yelling to girls while driving by, he’s complimenting her for being pretty, that’s better than saying someone looks like trash. 
I would prefer a scrub to be yelling out at me about how pretty I am than an abusive person telling me I look like trash(not everyone who calls someone trash is abusive, imo).
Some people appear to be respectable, have money, a job, a great house, education…but act in an abusive or cruel way or just not very pleasant.
I will take the scrub any day! Lol
He’s saying something good about her! I would prefer someone being kind of trashy than someone acting incredibly stuck up calling people trash. And at least he has things he wants. He may not act on it but at least he’s not dead, he has desire. That itself counts for something. I am especially aware of this because when I’m very depressed, I often have no desire and am numb and lifeless. So when someone or me has passion or desire or hunger, I am inspired. 

Again, I see the difference in perspective. Two people can look at one person or thing and see them in a completely contrasting way. 

She sees a complete loser while I think he’s not so bad. And this isn’t to bash her or the song. I can’t deny that the song is funny and has good music and a sweet tune. And she certainly has good things about her too! She can sing well! She can dance! She likely won’t get into a car with a stranger. That’s good! She clearly has a high opinion of herself. That is very good. It’s not good to be stuck up but a woman with confidence is sexy. Maybe she can tone it down a bit in one way but it’s ultimately a good attitude to have. She has all these good things about her. And many other things. She’s pretty also. She’s pleasing to look at. 

I chose this song as an example because I have been listening to it recently and it happens to be a good example for this topic. It’s just random or coincidental. 

And I, myself have had low opinions of some men yelling at me while driving, not all but some, especially when they follow me and try to block me and don’t take no for an answer. 

Annoying! Lol

But I want to encourage us all to attempt to have a positive perspective often. It doesn’t mean we have to like and accept everything and everyone but it doesn’t hurt to notice the good, even in people and things we don’t like. It’s a great habit to develop or strengthen.

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If we look closely enough, we can always find a splash of color even in the grayest, darkest, bluriest places.

Much love to you! ❤

Xoxo Kim 😀

Your Brain on Fiction

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I have known that reading fiction can help deepen our empathy, understanding, and compassion for real people and real life situations. I experienced this myself in some ways and it just makes sense. When we see people in real life acting certain ways that seem unusual or negative, we may be quick to judge that person. We have no idea why this person is acting this way. We don’t know exactly what is going on in that person’s life or head. But in fiction, the author let’s us into the heads and lives of the characters. We have a very good idea why the characters do certain things where in real life, we often have no idea. In fiction, we can judge less because we understand and know better.  
For example, I recently read a novel (Killing Me Softly by Bianca Sloane) where a lady is being abused by her husband in every way there is to be abused. Sexually, other physical ways (hit, knocked to the floor, locked in a closet…), emotionally (he treats her as if she is less than him), and verbally(calls her insults and things). 
This lady is basically a prisoner in her own house. The neighbors would judge her thinking she’s freaky and a weirdo. She would act strange in public, hardly speaking to anyone, even neighbors, always being in a hurry to get home, acting fearful and urgent, dressed in very bland, unusual clothing because he forced her to, out of fear that other men would be attracted to her.
These neighbors had no idea what was going on with her but we, the readers are aware and instead of judging her as being a “freak,” we can have compassion instead. 
But what if this were reality and we were the real neighbors to her. We would have no idea what’s going on with her. We couldn’t get into her head like we can when she’s the character in a novel. 
Would we judge her, think of her as the “weirdo” of the street? Would we stop and think maybe the poor girl is suffering or just needs some love & compassion?
My compassion & empathy have always been very developed in general but I notice that fiction opens me up even more.

I have also read many other realistic novels where characters would act in a bizarre or very unpleasant way, provoked by horrific things that happened to them.
Some characters, I judged negatively myself and also would have if they were real people. Some of these characters are violent or bitter or just not appealing. 
Then the authors let me into their heads, allowing me to observe and feel every emotion and thought the person has(we can’t always do this with real people because we aren’t in their heads but the characters are realistic and have similar experiences to real people), and I understood better and made it a point to try to show and have more compassion in person to real people. 

I think this is a good reminder to develop stronger compassion and understanding for people in general. Unlike in fiction, we have no idea why they do what they do. Maybe they are suffering, being abused, mentally ill….we can’t possibly know completely what someone else’s life is like. Let’s try to better understand and be slower to judge. Compassion is always good even if someone isn’t suffering, compassion as a way of life is beautiful.

I think fiction can help open our minds and help us deepen our empathy & compassion in general.

And I just discovered this essay, while reading various things about psychology, the brain, neuroscience, and studies. This happened to show up and is fascinating! 

The Neuroscience of Your Brain on Fiction by Annie Paul – mobile version

I can’t for the life of me find out how to get the non mobile/desktop link.

Maybe this?

or you can just look it up if you want:

Your Brain on Fiction
The Neuroscience of Your Brain on Fiction

By ANNIE MURPHY PAUL
MARCH 17, 2012

It brings two of my favorite things together, brain studies or research and reading fiction! Very interesting!  

It shows that while reading fiction, our brains have extremely similar reactions as when we are involved in real life situations.
The brain, in some way, can’t tell the difference even though we know it’s not real. Our brain can’t completely distinguish fantasy and fiction. Some parts of our brain takes fiction for being real. 
This is a good reason to be careful what we read. Too much horror and heavy stuff can drag us down and generate negative energy. It’s good to mix it up a bit and read things to immerse our self in positive energy. 

Also the studies suggest that reading fiction does help deepen our empathy. And to rule out the possibility that it’s just people who happen to be more empathetic who read more, the researchers accounted for that. They did studies with pre-school children. When they read stories to them, the little kids seemed to develop better understanding for real life. It makes perfect sense to me! And I think it also applies watching movies. 

I hope you are having a great day/night!
😀

Xoxo Kim ❤

May My Light Lead Me Through

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I’m reading a zombie thriller! Lol

It’s called “Savage” and the author is Iain Rob Wright. It’s purely fictional in case you’re wondering. ;-D 

I’m not even halfway through the book but I love it! 

In the book there are very few survivors who come together and do what they have to to survive, defending themselves and each other. 
It’s basically the end of the world. There are zombies around but are easy to fend off for the most part. They aren’t fast and can’t really climb anything. All the sprinters (the really fast and furious ones who can climb and charge at people…scary!) are gone now. All the survivors who came together are living on a pier with a steel gate so the zombies can’t get them. But the book is really about how there’s another group out there somewhere, of living humans just like the survivors, but this other group is a serious threat to them. Maybe even more threatening than the zombies. They don’t know they’re out there yet. I haven’t got to that part yet. 

The one character has a quote that he recites in his head, to give him inspiration and motivation when he’s in a dangerous situation. 

“Into the darkness I fade. May my light lead me through.”

Isn’t it inspiring?!

So full of hope. 

He saw it written on the ground outside of a mosque, maybe about a year or many months ago, after the initial outbreak of the zombie infection and it helps see him through the devastation and terrifying situations.

The quote is a sweet reminder that no matter how dark it gets for us, we have a light inside to guide us and all we have to do is look to that light when we are in that darkness. Whether it’s grief, depression, physical pain or sickness, anxiety, some tragedy, guilt, a zombie apocalypse, or just a “bad day” or low mood, I think that’s a great quote to remember!  

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No matter how dim it gets every now & then, keep it burning, even if it’s just a flicker, a sparkle, a sliver of a flame, it’s still fierce and can help guide us and help us help others. We can focus on the good in us and around us, do the best we can and keep going. And we can use our own light to rekindle the light of someone else in need. ❤

And if your light seems to be going out, just try to rekindle someone else's and yours is sure to burst into flames itself. ❤

"At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us." ~Albert Schweitzer

Much love to you! ❤ 😀

Xoxo Kim