Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.
Years ago, like 20+ years ago, I was taking a college psychology class, and I met a girl who was taking the same class with the same professor but a different part of the day than me. So, we weren’t in class together. She did not have the money to buy the text book. My dad bought my books for me. So, in the evenings, I would write out the portions of the book she needed for assignments, exams, and quizzes in an e-mail and send it to her. It was very time consuming. I’m not even sure if that’s legal, likely not as it was enough for her to not have to buy the book. But it helped her immensely, and I don’t regret it lol I know what it’s like to not have enough money for something essential. And I remember having no idea what I would do if my dad did not buy my books. Where do they think an 18 year old is going to get $500+?
Back then, these phones with the cameras and all weren’t really a thing or as popular yet. And I had no scanner and never really thought of making copies somewhere, which would have been much easier. So, I spent hours just sitting there writing the text out for a complete stranger I never even met face to face.
I met her in a group online where she wrote that she couldn’t buy the book yet and was desperate for help and pleaded with anyone to send her the content. I could feel the desperation in her posts. She had no idea what to do. No one else responded, so I did. Saved her ass 😆
I love posts like this because it’s uplifting & heartwarming & inspiring to see the goodness in humans. When we share our acts of kindness, it can inspire others to be kind or just brighten their day.
(I have sunscreen & olive oil on my skin/hair, so if I look greasy, that’s why 😆)
I’m bleeding out So if the last thing that I do Is bring you down I’ll bleed out for you So I bare my skin And I count my sins And I close my eyes And I take it in I’m bleeding out I’m bleeding out for you, for you
I donated platelets! Just eight days after donating whole blood!
This is my first platelet donation in a few years.
It takes hours hooked up to a machine with a needle and tube in both arms, for platelet donation. We’re restrained and can only move our legs and neck. The arms have to lay straight, can’t bend them or anything, the tubes in each one are hooked up to a machine. Can’t even look at our phone because we can’t hold anything. They do put a movie on for us. I watched “Jaws,” and the Red Cross nurse said “You picked a hell of a movie to watch while donating blood.” 🤣
Getting an itch or runny nose is the worst, there’s nothing that can be done about it. Just have to let the snots drip and itch go unscratched. I have allergies, so I tend to sneeze/get a runny nose. If you sneeze, you can’t cover your mouth & nose lol Awkward
The machine takes our blood through one arm and takes the platelets out of the blood, then it puts the rest of our blood back into our body through the other arm. They also have to inject us with stuff to reduce risk of blood clot and whatever else. It’s very, very, very rare, but I recently learned there’s a risk of death while donating platelets or any blood, even the simple whole blood routine. Say what??? Apparently, the risk is so low it’s not even worth mentioning to us, but I read it online.
It’s freezing cold when donating platelets. It’s something to do with whatever is happening to the body. It happens to anyone who donates platelets. It feels like being in a freezer even if the room is heated. They put a heated blanket on us and give us hand warmers, but eventually the heat runs out. We can probably request more.
They said most people don’t have this problem, but it makes me sick and lightheaded. Platelet donation always has. I feel like I’m going to pass out, even laying down. The feeling comes & goes throughout the donation. When I walk out after it’s over, I feel “under the weather.” I’m also all stiff because of not moving for hours. It also makes my whole face tingle and my fingertips. I don’t have this experience when donating whole blood, which is what I usually donate. I think it’s side effects of whatever they’re injecting me with, not the loss of platelets/blood doing this. There was one point where I thought, yeah, I’m not doing this again. Ever. Like ever. The next day, I’m back to my usual self.
The Red Cross said they need my platelets more now because of the ongoing platelet shortage crisis. We can donate once a week. They said the platelet crisis is extreme, there are so many more in need than are donating.
I guess I’m going to have to suck it up.
Me, after donating whole blood recently. (Again, the oily look is because I put various things on to protect my hair & skin against the elements)
It’s amazing that there are people sitting there hooked up to a machine for hours having parts of their body taken out for complete strangers. The Red Cross doesn’t pay their donors, but they occasionally give gifts and prize opportunities. They especially love platelet donors (and O blood donors because it’s the most needed blood type). The donors are getting nothing tangible out of it.
I was pleasantly surprised at how many other platelet donors were in there donating.
For the people who say people suck and there are no more good people, let’s remember our platelet donors. They are laying there for hours on a machine, some every week, giving parts of their own body away for people they’ll never meet. They aren’t just giving their body parts away but a significant amount of their time and some of their own comfort & health. And getting nothing in return.
I’m not a dedicated platelet donor, but there are people who are. There are people who haven’t missed a donation in many years. I would like to donate once a week and have tried before, but they said my body doesn’t produce enough platelets to keep giving them away. It only really makes enough for itself. Stingy bone marrow. Lol I also don’t want to risk becoming anemic, which can happen with frequent blood donation. I probably won’t donate every week, but if I have enough, I’ll try to frequently.
Donated platelets often go to cancer patients and organ transplant patients when theirs are too low.
I’m glad I donated, and even though it kind of makes me sick, it also uplifts me to know it’s going to help someone else, likely cancer patients. They have to sit in a chemo chair every week and a platelet transfusion chair, having no choice, I’m just in the donation chair, which is a gift. The least I can do is share that fortune with someone else. That’s the thought that motivates me to keep going. 💚
Now maybe someday The sun’s gonna shine Flowers will bloom And all will be fine
Today is the anniversary of one of the most tragic & horrific events in the history of the city of Philadelphia.
In 2013, six people died right here on the corner of Market Street, pronounced dead at the scene. Some sources also report that a seventh person died of his injuries later in a hospital. It’s hard to find information on that one. Most sources report only six deaths, the six who died at the scene.
Along with the deaths, many received non fatal injuries when a building collapsed on top of them, crushing & trapping them all for hours. Some of them died of suffocation, not dying instantly. The incident occurred in the morning, and bodies were still being discovered that evening, even a living person was pulled out after being trapped all day & night. She lost both of her legs and received the largest settlement in state history. (She has since died of Covidvirus)
The building was a thrift store, and the victims were all workers & customers. The building collapse was completely preventable and the result of the recklessness of the workers next door not following proper protocol while demolishing that building. The building next to the thrift store, while in the process of being demolished, collapsed onto the thrift store. The people involved with the demolition were convicted of involuntary manslaughter and sentenced to many years in prison.
The building inspector, who was cleared of any wrongdoing and not accused or charged or convicted, felt guilty and took his own life in the aftermath of the tragedy. Everyone agreed that he had no part in the recklessness. There were no violations present while inspecting the building. And no one held it against him. But he expressed overwhelming feelings of guilt & insomnia in a video just before ending his own life in his car one week after the incident. He shot himself.
In my opinion, he is worthy of being remembered as one of the victims and has a place at the memorial even though he’s not officially considered a victim of the collapse.
One heartwarming fact of this tragedy is when the building collapsed, an 18 year old high school student(not sure of the gender), who happened to be walking by, ran into the rubble to try to pull the victims out.
“Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”💚
Sharing in honor of all those who died on June 5th, 2013 as the result of a preventable & senseless tragedy. A tragedy that leaves an indelible mark on our city. I wasn’t involved or associated in any way, but I remember it like it was yesterday. I was at work that evening, watching the wreckage on the news. Even though it has nothing to do with me, personally, I have been walking around thinking about it with a heavy heart and overwhelming sorrow in my chest.
I remembered it as the date was approaching. I walked by this memorial day after day for so many years, sometimes multiple occasions a day, and never realized it’s the memorial for that event until this year! So, this year, I decided to take a picture and dedicate a post to the victims.
June 5th Memorial Park now stands where the thrift store once was, the very spot that all those people died all those years ago, the spot where their bodies laid, being pulled out of all that devastation that took over the streets and blocked traffic. It’s now a place of hope & healing, according to the Park’s website.
Memorial Park is a very busy place, there’s always people there, often having lunch or coffee on the benches and talking to each other. It’s always sunny there on the corner. When I stand there now, I can’t feel any hint of the tragedy that once struck. To see people alive, eating, drinking, laughing, it doesn’t feel like a dark place where there were once bloodcurdling screams of pain & terror echoing through the streets, where mutilated bodies laid, scattered through the wreckage.
This memorial also serves as a reminder to always be mindful of safety during construction and to honor all the people who helped that day.
There are always people who are helping.
❤️💔
Dedicated to:
Anne Bryan, 24 years old, an art student at the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts and daughter of former Philadelphia City Treasurer Nancy Winkler
Mary Simpson, 24 years old, an audio engineer who was on a shopping trip with Anne Bryan, her best friend, both girls died together at the scene that day
Roseline Conteh, 52 years old, nursing assistant
Bobor Davis, 68 years old, a five-year Salvation Army employee
Kimberly Finnegan, 35 years old, a cashier working her first shift at the Salvation Army thrift store when she died at the scene, just got engaged to be married
Juanita Harmon, 75 years old, a retired secretary at the University of Pennsylvania
Ray William Johnson, 32 year old man who died later of his injuries.
Ronald Wagenhoffer, 52 years old, building inspector/suicide victim who ended his own life on the one week anniversary of the tragedy
(Words are censored because I posted this on Facebook first and pasted here. Posts can be flagged for words like “blood.” It’s dumb lol “Dumb” would have to be censored on Facebook lol I don’t promote censorship, myself.)
Today is #LivingDonorDay !!! 💙💚
Some body parts we can donate while alive are:
1.) B.lood products 2.) A kidney 3.) A portion of our liver 4.) A portion of our pancreas 5.) A lobe of a lung 6.) Our heart, the whole thing (very, very rare for a living person to donate their heart. Only people with lung failure who get a lung transplant can donate their healthy heart, and they will receive a new heart with their new lungs. The deceased donor gives both together. So their heart gets replaced as soon as it’s removed. This is because some lungs function better with their own heart {the lungs’ own heart} or something like that.) Almost no one knows this is a thing. Even organ donor advocates don’t know it. Lol 7.) A part of our intestines 8.) Stem cells/bone marrow
There may be more that I’m not remembering or don’t know about.
Some people are double living organ donors and donate two organs while alive! Usually a kidney and part of the liver. The last I saw, there’s only like less than 300 double living donors in the U.S. since the 80’s. Not 300 a year but 300 ever. So, it’s quite rare. But, it’s more common than people think. Many of them donate a kidney to a stranger and their liver to a different stranger. Some donate first to someone they know, and love the experience so much they donate again but to a stranger.
When we donate a kidney, the remaining kidney will become enlarged to compensate. Some kidney donors have literally the kidney function of someone with two healthy kidneys where doctors can’t tell by test results that they only have one (like mine – my kidney function is so good that it looks like I still have two when my function is tested). And others have a kidney that functions adequately enough but has the function of only one kidney and may look like kidney disease on test results. But, it’s not, it’s just one kidney.
To donate a kidney, we have to have enough kidney function that even when it declines with aging, we’ll still have enough to last for life. Some people have good kidney function but not enough to share. We have to have above average. My kidney function with two kidneys was almost as good as a teenager’s at nearly forty years old! Lol
When we donate a liver lobe, the remaining portion expands to the size of a full liver and is fully functioning. In the recipient, the same happens. The donated portion expands to a full liver size and functions just as well. Someone cannot donate their liver more than once because it doesn’t literally grow back. It’s just the one portion getting larger.
https://www.matchingdonors.com (like a dating website but instead it’s for people to find their perfect DNA match lol It’s for potential recipients to find a donor or potential donors to find a recipient. Some people wanting to donate to strangers prefer to choose a person instead of donating to whoever is next in the system/on the wait list, which is a random anonymous stranger we may never get to know or may not like)
💚💙🫘
#organdonorssavelives #donatelife
🫘
It’s 4/2 today but will show up as 4/3 because I’m posting this in the evening and too lazy to mess around with it to change it lol.
Not sure but this may need a content warning ⚠️: non sexual touching by a stranger without consent
A random stranger man came up today and hugged me without my consent. It was on a crowded city street in daylight. He looked to be early 30 something years old. A bit younger than me. I had earphones in and was looking at my phone when a man walked towards me asking me something. I wasn’t interested in whatever it was, I was on my way to work (turns out he was asking me what food I like). I sensed he was not a threat. But he wouldn’t let me walk by because he wanted my attention. Then he grabbed me by the left shoulder and swung around in back of me and pulled me close to him. My back was against him with his arms around my upper body, holding me close. It was completely non sexual/non threatening. He wasn’t trying to feel me up at all. It was just a heartfelt hug. It was more playful & silly than anything. He had a big silly grin on his face when I saw his face. I can tell he just wasn’t taught proper boundaries.
It’s hard to convey the nuances in writing or speaking. So it may sound scarier than it was. Part of me was super annoyed that he was touching me without my consent, but my body loved the sensation of being hugged & held, especially the way he hugged me so closely and tightly. It truly felt like love. It felt safe. It was the kind of hug that is usually reserved for close people, not strangers on the street. It’s not the way I hug strangers when I have a choice. I prefer that level of hugging to be for close people. Again, it was not romantic/sexual in any way. He wasn’t asking me out or trying to get my phone number or anything and no touching me other than his arms around me. But it was still wrong. I tried to pull away because it was not consensual and was just weird, and he pulled me back and held me even closer. It wasn’t in a dominant way like to show me he was in charge, and there was nothing intimidating about it. (I have experience with men like this and can tell the difference) It was more like he wanted to hug and wasn’t ready to let go.
He’s lucky I’m not a woman who would instantly pull out mase or a g u n or punch him. Especially with what has been going on these days.(Men holding up signs saying “Your body, my choice” & “Women are property” and blasting that sentiment all over social media ever since the misogynistic predator was elected as President again)
After trying to pull away and him pulling me back, my body reacted instinctively, leaning against him and letting him hold me close as if we were best friends. I put my arms around his that were around my body as he held me for a few seconds, his head leaning against mine. My mind felt guilty for enabling him to grab & hug stranger women on the streets, but physically it was satisfying & fulfilling. And I let that part override the guilt telling me I should put him in his place. It was my guilty pleasure. If he was trying to do anything other than hug me I would have done more to stop it. Or if his hugging was sexual in some way. But it wasn’t. It probably was because I’m a woman. He probably doesn’t run up and hug other men like that, but still it wasn’t pervy or anything like that. In no way does this make it ok. I’m just saying I wouldn’t have tolerated it if it was sexual.
Now layers of my touch starvation have been peeled away. Even a while later my body feels light and like it got something it needed. But this is not the way that should happen.
I really need friends lol
My touch starvation isn’t just because of lack of physical touch, it’s the lack of emotional closeness with someone. I haven’t had close in person friends in a while. If I had a close emotional connection with someone even if we never ever physically touch, my touch starvation would be less. Even a day of socializing with strangers reduces my physical touch starvation a little bit. There have even been occasions I had staff meetings at work and my whole body felt lighter after just because of being around people. I’m seriously so super extroverted, but everyone says I can’t be or can’t accurately use that label because of how shy & quiet I am lol
I don’t have a trauma history or sensory issues with touching people, so I don’t mind being touched in & of itself or being approached by men in a non threatening way. But it’s not ok to touch someone without consent. It’s not ok anyway, but imagine if a woman with trauma history is grabbed & held by a random man on the street. She would probably have a breakdown.
These boys need to be taught better growing up.
I’m literally concerned for his safety because some other woman is going to take no 💩 and either pull out mase or worse. And it will be 💯 his own fault even though he’s harmless or at least not a true threat. I can be intuitive & receptive so can usually tell if I have to be concerned about a man, but not every woman is and may mistake him for a threat or she may just see a strange man approaching & touching her and take action, or she may have a trauma history and fr3ak out and react. And all of this would be his fault, not hers in any way. And the fault of whoever brought him up lacking boundaries.
I love hugs and will hug anyone who requests it. I have participated in “National Free Hug Day” years ago and also had a “Free Hugs” t-shirt before, that I would wear out & about. Strangers on the streets would come over and request a hug (they always asked first). I lost the shirt and always want to get another one and never get around to it.
Anyway I feel guilty for physically liking it knowing it’s wrong and feel like a scuzzy gender traitor sort of for letting a strange man touch me and not speaking up for all of us even though it wasn’t sexual in any way. (I promise I’m not though lol I have definitely approached men before when I saw them harassing other women and have spoken up for myself before. I have invited women to walk with me when they were being harassed on the streets) It was good for my mental health also. Humans in general need connection & physical touch with other humans (even if just platonic like this), but it seems twisted of me liking it with how it happened. I in no way condone it or appreciate it at all. But on a physiological & some emotional level beyond my choice/control it benefits me. It’s a strange contradiction, I know. It feels perverse.
I feel like a total sleeze today lol Can’t say I’m a credit to my gender.
If he wanted a hug he should have just asked. I would have gladly said yes.
Anyway, sending a consensual hug to anyone out there who needs or wants it lol 😘
I’m not always kind or pleasant and haven’t been for the last week with all the trolls and oppressors. I have been arguing & sh!tposting all week Lol I don’t believe everyone deserves kindness always.
But I never wish d3ath or suffering on anyone and in general would go to great lengths to stop it even for someone I don’t like. I have even been called an enabler and “mental” because of some of the people I would save.
I wouldn’t be friends with just anyone or let just anyone into my space. But there are very few people I wouldn’t go to great lengths to save (people who would use it for evil actions and have the power to in a large scale way) and no one I would get joy out of seeing them suffer.
This may be considered by many as not a good thing, but it actually is because even if it’s not good to help or care about “bad people,” my compassion embraces all the good and average people as well. There are way too many people who don’t care about anyone at all. I much prefer someone who cares about everyone than no one. To me just being a sentient being makes someone worthy of basic compassion. Kindness? Not necessarily. Forgiveness? Again, not necessarily. But compassion, yes. This isn’t a philosophy or argument, it’s just the way I naturally am. I have always been this way. I don’t expect everyone to agree, and most people probably don’t. I don’t think it’s necessarily better or worse, just different.
I’m also overly empathetic (empathy is different than compassion, but the two are often mistaken as the same) and cannot stand it. It’s mostly only with physical pain/suffering. When someone is suffering physically, even a terrible person or character in a fiction movie, I feel literally like I’m being t0rtured. I can’t bear it and can’t even watch those scenes. My compassion is something I have always experienced. But I think the empathy came later. I always had basic empathy just like everyone else, but the more developed empathy I have now I think came years ago after I began getting recurring devastating & debilitating headaches. It’s not a choice or train of thought or philosophy. And it’s not something I want. I can’t even watch horror movies I want to watch when there are too many graphic scenes because I feel like my own guts are being carved out. And after I turn it off it takes me a while to recover psychologically.
If I could flip a switch or give up a piece of myself to stop all the suffering in the world even for “bad people,” I wouldn’t hesitate even if it meant I had to take on some pain myself. I absolutely cannot stand illness & suffering. No matter who it is experiencing it.
This post is a bit late. It’s something I wrote for my one month kidneyversary. It was last month.
One cold January morning in the midst of a snowstorm two anonymous strangers in two different states, one in Pennsylvania, the other in Minnesota, laid on an operating table. Taking the plunge, together, risking it all. With one dream: life. One to give life, one to receive.
Sometimes I’ll be walking along a street and out of nowhere suddenly remember that someone else is living with a piece of me inside of them. Alive and well because I gave a piece of myself away. And I feel as if I could fall at my own feet in awe.
It hits at random moments, filling me with overwhelming joy, inspiration, takes my breath away. It’s something that can’t even be put into words. Truly indescribable. So beautiful. It’s an experience that took me months to fully process. The profoundness only began to truly sink in and register as the months went on because it’s an experience like no other, extremely rare & unnatural. It’s not everyday you get to meet someone who gives part of their body away to someone else to keep that person alive. It’s not everyday you get to BE someone who does that. Unless you’re me, that is 😆
I don’t even know their name, their age, or their gender. I have never seen their face. I never heard their story and maybe never will. But we are connected through life, forever. The only two humans on Earth to have shared that same organ. Intimate strangers. Two halves of the same whole. My perfect match. I love my recipient with my whole heart. Or with my whole kidney. It’s a strange experience to be able to love someone with this intensity never having laid eyes on them. A love that has nothing to do with liking, nothing to do with personality. A no strings attached kind of love. Unconditional. An unbreakable bond.
There is no greater act of love than giving a piece of ourselves away. And I am honored to have had the opportunity to experience a love like that.
A piece of me is missing, but I have never been more whole.
I like to think that my superpower is that I’m in two places at once and can pee for two. 😆
The experience of a lifetime.
Happy Six Months to us!!
Here’s to many, many more. 🫘🥂🎈💚
P.s. And, how lucky is my recipient, getting a piece of this? 😆
#livingkidneydonor #altruistickidneydonor
I hope you’re having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are! I plan to upgrade soon so I can have more storage space and share more pictures. 😁
Laparoscopic kidney donation scars at three months 💚🫘
It’s the most amazing experience to think about how two anonymous strangers in two different parts of the country both laid on an operating table on the same morning to become forever connected, an unbreakable bond formed. This is what it is to be “intimate strangers.” I have heard of that term now & again and never thought much of it or understood until that day my kidney began making pee in someone else’s body, someone I have never laid eyes on and probably never will. It will never fail to amaze me! Instead of fading, each day, that feeling of awe becomes deeper & deeper, and so does the joy and warm fuzzies. My scars are always a reminder of that beautiful experience. Whenever I step out of a shower and look into the mirror or take my pj’s off to get dressed in the mornings or wear a belly shirt and happen to see the scar near my bellybutton (the only one that’s really very visible with clothes on), I remember and smile.
Many living kidney donors feel strongly that we should be humble and not speak of our act of kindness and always divert the attention to somewhere else when someone else brings it up so as not to seem self important or arrogant or like we’re looking for recognition. In fact this seems almost like the consensus in the living donor community that it’s not to be talked about much outside of living donor spaces. But my experience is too beautiful not to share, and I am too thankful for the honor, to be so humble as to never speak of it. It’s like when moms share their birthing stories or brag about their kids, (usually) not acting like they’re better than other moms or childless women, just thankful for their own gift and celebrating by sharing. I don’t look for praise, but I acknowledge the fact that my act of compassion & courage is worthy of the kind comments it receives when it comes up. Sharing our experience as an act of gratitude is not the same as arrogantly boasting. I will always share my experience as a celebration & for awareness of living organ donation. If that gets me a few compliments along the way, I welcome them.
Three months later and I am 100% the way I was before my body lost a vital organ. No energy changes, no pain, no anxiety or depression, no complications, no lifestyle changes or meds needed. The first two weeks after the surgery were a bit challenging, but just less than two weeks after, I was jokingly asking if they even took the kidney because everything felt almost 💯. Any pain or discomfort I experienced only confirmed that I made the best decision. It reminded me of the pain & sickness my recipient must have been living in indefinitely. It’s a humbling experience to temporarily take on someone else’s pain & sickness so they can live a life without it.
Best thing I ever did!
It’s not for everyone, and there are (rare) potential risks for very very serious life altering complications (and death during and just after the donation surgery). But I encourage anyone it resonates with to consider learning about living kidney donation and possibly becoming a living donor, as there is an extreme shortage of kidneys for transplant. There are people dying & living in sickness who don’t have to.
If you don’t know anyone in need of a new kidney, you can become an altruistic (non directed) donor and donate to “the next person on the wait list,” like I did. (It’s really a system of people in need, and they find the best match depending upon various factors, not literally a list where there is a specific person who is “next” like with the deceased donor list.) It will potentially give the person 25+ years of life & health. Even if it doesn’t work, which is rare, living donor kidneys nearly always work long-term, it will remind the person their life matters and that someone cared enough to give them a literal piece of themselves to save & enhance their life. If you donate through the National Kidney Registry as a non directed/altruistic donor, there’s a chance you’ll save multiple lives by beginning a kidney chain. This means multiple transplants will take place that would not have if not for your altruistic donation. It’s truly incredible! This happens when a potential donor is not a match for their intended recipient, so they agree to donate to an anonymous stranger so their person will get the next kidney available. My kidney recipient had someone wanting to donate to them but wasn’t a match, so that donor donated to an anonymous stranger so my recipient could get the next available kidney. The next available kidney happened to be mine! So at least two kidney transplants took place involving my one donation, my recipient’s and the person’s who got the kidney of the person who wanted to donate to my recipient but wasn’t a match. Sometimes kidney chains are super long and span across the whole country, set in motion by one altruistic donation. It’s beautiful being linked to all these strangers through the gift of life.
If you have no one in particular in mind and choose to be a non directed/altruistic donor, you can also donate a kidney voucher to another stranger if you wish, one of your choice. You can look for someone to give it to, like I did. When we donate our kidney to an anonymous stranger, the National Kidney Registry gives us a kidney voucher to give to whoever we want, so that person will get a new kidney usually shortly after our donation surgery. It brings that person into the system so they’ll be matched with aliving donorkidney when one becomes available.
I have always been a universal lover and got to live it in action the day I gave my kidney to an anonymous stranger. 🫘
(Words are censored because I sometimes copy/paste posts off of Facebook to hereor here to Facebook where certain words can get us a suspension or post removal. They can’t detect context. So I can be posting about donating blood. It will see blood and automatically detect it as violence. Also, I censor common trigger words that people with trauma history may see.)
Content warning ⚠️!!!!! There is a picture of a human kidney in this post!! It will gross you out lol It’s not a scan image, it’s the kidney after it was taken out of my body before it was sent to its new person. I asked the surgeon to take a pic for me 😆😁
Questions we get asked as altruistic/non directed/living kidney donors and my responses:
1.) What if your child/family member needs a kidney transplantin the future, and now you can’t give them yours? Would you regret it?
Nahh.
This is probably the most frequent question.
I could not regret saving/attempting to save a life. I did what I felt called to do when I did. And if someone in my family needed a kidney transplantafter I donated to a stranger, I would remember that someone else’s family needed that kidney too and are no less worthy or less important than my family member. I wouldn’t be kicking myself wishing I held out knowing a whole other life is spared and enhanced. Of course if my family member needed a kidney transplant I would have given mine when I had two. But since that wasn’t the case, I wouldn’t regret it if it happens later. How could I regret someone else’s child, mom, grandad, sister, niece, best friend, husband….or just a person being alive??
And I would remember that there are kind people out there who would donate an organ to a stranger like I did and have hope that one of them would help my family member the way I helped someone else’s. I couldn’t imagine not helping someone when I’m passionate about it because maybe someone I know will need me later. That may never happen and then someone would be sick or dying, and I would miss the opportunity to get to experience being a living organ donor. It makes no sense to me to hold out for something that is very unlikely to happen when something is already happening now that needs tending to. Also, who is to say I will be healthy enough later? Health is so fleeting & fragile. I may not be qualified later if my family member needs one. People take good health for granted just assuming we’ll always be healthy. This question shows that in the assumption that I would still be healthy enough later to help a family member. I hope I will. But unfortunately there’s no guarantee. To be a living kidney donor, we also have to be financially fit enough and have appropriate life/work circumstances. At one point years ago my circumstances changed, and I wasn’t financially qualified or able to take off work for recovery and wasn’t sure when/if I would ever be qualified again. I got super lucky when things changed again for the better. There’s also no guarantee my financial/work/life situation won’t change again. I would miss my chance. I am nothing but lucky to have the gift of this very rare experience.
2.) What if your kidney goes/went to a Donald Trump supporter/Republican/some@$$hole?
🤣😂😆😭 As long as it’s not a Cowboys fan, we’re good!
Jk!
Altruistic or non directed kidney donation is certainly not for everyone.It’s not for the faint of heart. There are people who say they would love to donate a kidney to a stranger but are too afraid it will go to someone they feel is undeserving like people with certain political or religious views. I have read stories by people who donated their kidney but absolutely had to be sure it was going to someone who has Liberal political views like themor had to be sure the person has personality traits they like. They can’t be a non directed donor with this frame of mind. It can truly take a toll on someone emotionally to keep wondering if the person who has their kidney is worthy or if they find out who the person is and they don’t measure up to their standards. They have to go looking for a specific person in need and make sure that person measures up. I don’t understand it myself, I could never choose out of a list of people and decide someone is worthy of my kidney but someone else is not or prefer one over another out of multiple strangers, but whatever floats their boat, it’s their body and their journey, and their choice. If they want to save a life but only one they feel is worth it, that is valid. There is a website, MatchingDonors, where potential donors & recipients can browse and read profiles by people offering a kidney and needing a kidney. Like a dating website but instead of finding ourperfectromantic match, we find our perfect kidney match. Their pictures show up and any information they share about themselves. I tried it years ago and couldn’t choose. I knew altruistic/non directed donation is for me or if I just happen to see one particular person in need. But I couldn’t choose one of many. I wanted to help them all. Some tugged on my heartstrings more than others. But I could never choose.
It takes a certain kind of person to donate to a random anonymous stranger we know nothing about. It takes more than just compassion. It takes a strong stomach and a certain way of thinking. We have to truly believe every/almost every life matters and detach. We have to accept that our kidney can be keeping someone alive we absolutely would not be able to stand if we met them. Someone with values or personality traits we abhor. We have to feel that we not liking someone doesn’t mean they are less worthy just because we don’t like them. We have to step out of that egoistic, self important way of thinking to be able to be ok with non directed donation. Self important /egoistic in this sense is ok because kidney donation is an act of kindness, not an obligation. It’s completely valid to choose who we would and would not donate toor not donate at all. But it is egoistic to a certain degree,to decide one person is worth it and not another, and it does require us to avoid that sentiment that someone is inferior or unworthy “because *I* don’t like them” because “*my* opinion of them is the one that matters.” If we cannot overcome that sentiment, altruistic kidney donation is not for us. You know how ticked off you are every single day on social media. I see it every single day, my social media friends furiously bashing people of different political or religious views, arguing viciously with people then blocking them and still complaining about them after they’re gone, mocking people they don’t like, even wishing d3ath on certain people, laughing at some people who died. Could you handle it if your kidney was in one of their bodies keeping them alive? My self proclaimed Liberal humanitarian friends relentlessly mock some famous people who die, often because they’re Conservatives, sometimes because they’re greedy billionaires.
What if instead of one of them dying, they were still kicking and with YOUR kidney? If they were healthy and thriving and going on doing whatever they’re doing because your body part is keeping them going? Just imagine. Like I said, it takes a strong stomach lol
The way I see it is that a whole person is just that. A whole person. There’s more to every person than just their views/religion, more than just the aspects we see and cannot stand. They have interests, roles they play to others, goals… whatever I don’t like about them is only one aspect. And someone else loves them just how they are. Why does me not liking them make them less worthy when someone else does like them? My opinion is no more important than the opinion of the person who loves them. Someone isn’t less worthy just because *I* don’t like the person. I may not want to be their friend or not want them in my space, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be their kidney donor.
For example, those Donald Trump supporters. They wake up and drink coffee every morning, they go to work, they laugh at jokes them and their friends tell each other, they walk their dogs, they take their son to a ballgame and take their daughter out to lunch. They go home at night and watch their favorite movie or read their favorite books. They feel the same exact pain you feel when they get injured or sick. They feel the same fear if a g u n is pointing at them or they’re diagnosed with a devastating illness. They have the same longings to love and be loved and to live. If you cut them, they bl33d the same red. They have a whole life other than whatever someone doesn’t like about them. Who is to say they don’t deserve to live it?
I am reminded of Jeremy Bentham asking
Can they suffer?
In terms of whether or not animals are worthy of rights.
“The question is not, Can they reason?, nor Can they talk? but, Can they suffer? Why should the law refuse its protection to any sensitive being?” – Bentham (1789)
To me the question isn’t, Do I like them?, nor Do I agree with them? but, Can they suffer?
Also, are you a potential organ donor? Does your ID say you’re an organ donor? If yes, you may be donating to someone you wouldn’t like some day. You think all your organs that can be donated are going to only people who you would like and agree with on everything there is to agree on? Think again lol (I would not knowingly donate my kidney to a cold blo0ded murder3r, or a known terr0rist or domestic abus3r or serious s*x offenders or someone who has a lot of power and would use it for destructive things,…I would not want to aid in or support their large-scale destructive actions/energy in the world, but if my kidney happened to go to one of them, I would not regret my act of kindness because at least I tried to help, and it doesn’t take away any of the kindness on my part, a loving act is a loving act, there’s two aspects to donating a kidney, the practical help it offers someone and just the fact we did something so amazing. If my kidney went to an a-hole, it’s still an amazing thing I did)
I do not have a preference. I’m a Liberal atheist. If I found out the kidney I gave away is now making pee in someone who is a Christian Conservative and goes around calling people like me “snowflakes” and “sheeple” and “libtards” and “woke” and “commies,” (🤣😂) so be it. I’ll give you my kidney just before blocking you on social media 😆
To me, there is something beautiful about altruistic/non directed kidney donation. Not knowing, not caring who our kidney goes to because every life matters. So universal loving! Of course all kidney donations are equally beautiful.But non directed has this unique aspect to it.
The way I see it, what makes someone worthy of my kidney is the fact that they are suffering/have the ability to suffer, not that they agree with me on something or are a pleasant or kind or compassionate person. We all suffer or have the ability to suffer the same way irrespective of our views or personality traits or likability.
3.) What if you need a kidney transplant in the future?
I’m on the priority transplant list now, so if I ever need one, I can get one fairly quickly. Since I donated a kidney, I won’t have to wait years like the average person in need of a new kidney. I can get a living donor kidney within weeks/months very likely. Even if that wasn’t an option for me, I would have donated. The chances are very slim. And if it were to happen, I would deal with it just like everyone else who needs a kidney transplant deals with it. At least I would be able to say I’m sick because I took a chance and helped someone. So many are sick just because. I have a way better chance of being in a car crash, yet I still get into cars. And no one questions it. I’m much more likely to be a victim of g u n v!olence in the U.S than develop kidney failure, yet I’m out all day & night walking the streets of Philadelphia where g u n v!olence is rampant. And no one (except my mom) questions it or has an issue with it.
I’m rarely to never questioned on why I get into cars or don’t live in a bubble so I don’t get sh0tor ass@ulted or sick. But when it comes to a loving act of kindness to literally save a life, people question why I would or make remarks to say/imply that I shouldn’t have because of a risk to my own safety.
Someone may say getting into cars and going outside are worth the risks because it’s necessary, it’s needed to live life. This kidney transplant was necessary. It was needed for someone to live. That person is no less worthy or important than I am that my needs are worth certain risks but theirs aren’t.
💚💋😘
4.) What ever possessed you to give your organ away to a stranger/to lay on an operating table and risk dying for a total stranger? (Or something of this sort, but “possessed” has come up a few times 😆)
The philosophy that every life matters and that if we have more than enough of something (money, health, resources…) it‘s an even greater gift to share that with someone less fortunate in that respect. Remember all deceased organ donors donate to strangers. And blood donors too. What’s the difference if I’m alive and donate to a stranger? I donate blood regularly to random strangers. What’s the difference? If you checked yes to organ donation on your driver’s license and you die in a way where you can be an organ donor, you’ll be doing what I did, donating to a complete stranger. Is that such a wild cr@zy idea? To reach out and help a fellow human?
🫘
5.) What if you suffer a complication?
I may or may not suffer a complication, but for someone else there is no maybe. A person on dialysis or about to begin dialysis doesn’t have the luxury of maybe that I have. They are already suffering a complication. I’m lucky & privileged to even have that “maybe.”
Also, I hope I would never not do something that deeply resonates with me because of fear. Avoiding things we’re passionate about because of fear, is no way to live, in my opinion. I prefer to take chances if it’s something I truly want and feel called to do and whatever happens happens than living in a safe bubble not fully living and then dying as an old woman.What if I did not do this and wouldn’t have suffered a complication? I would miss out on the experience and always wishing I chose to go through with it and wondering what if I did. It has been on my mind every single day for over five years and on my mind off & on for many years before that. It was never something I could ever regret no matter what. It’s my dream come true!
6.) “I would never give my kidney to a stranger/anyone, you’re a better person than I am.”
This is a response I have received by a few people.
No one is a better person for doing an act of kindness. “You’re a better person than I am” only applies, in my opinion, if you’re going around intentionally interfering with or hurting others while I’m not.
7.) Are/were you scared?
Yes!! It took brass ovaries, and I got’em. The two weeks before surgery, my body would be gripped in a sense of panic waking up in the mornings. Sometimes it would feel that “fight or flight” response. Occasionally it felt like it thought it was getting ready to die. Lol Dramatic. My worst, pretty much only, fear was that I would experience prolonged fatigue when I live a very active life. Thankfully got no fatigue at all! On the morning of the surgery, I woke up completely calm and peaceful & hopeful, no anxiety or fear at all walking into the hospital with my two kidneys getting ready to send one off to a great new home. 💚
8.) What if you die/would have died on the operating table?
Very very unlikely. But what better way to go than in my sleep and saving someone else’s life? 😁
Scars n all 💚
🩷
9.) Have you met/do you want to meet your recipient?
No, I haven’t. And not necessarily. I do not mind either way. I don’t have the burning desire or curiosity that many anonymous donors seem to have. For me it wasn’t a social call but an attempt to enhance & extend someone’s life. If they reach out to me ever, I will be delighted. But if not, I’ll live. Lol Each transplant center has their own rules for when an anonymous donor or recipient is allowed to contact the other, anonymously. Some have to wait up to a year. So my recipient may not be allowed to contact me yet. I was allowed to contact them right away but did not. I may send them a card for our first Kidneyversary next year to brighten their day. My transplant center would send it to theirs. Not knowing who they are or if they’re grateful does not lessen the joy of my experience. Occasionally I’m slightly curious of the age & gender of the person.
10.) Has your life changed since donating a kidney?
Only in my mind. It’s the most amazing experience, I am filled with joy & ecstasy. I understand the meaning of “intimate strangers,” knowing a complete stranger and me are the only two in the world to have had this kidney in our bodies, that we both laid on an operating table on the same morning to become connected to each other forever. I know that everywhere I go, I’m very likely to be the only one there with one kidney. Every room I walk into, I’m the only one there who gave a kidney away and knows this rare unique experience. It’s an isolated feeling but not in a negative way.
After two weeks I was almost 100% my usual self. I jokingly asked if they even took the kidney. After a month I was 100%. I would never know I only have one kidney or had surgery if not for my memories & the beautiful scars.
Here are the lifelong restrictions/lifestyle changes I was told by my team:
1.) No NSAIDS 2.) No natural herb supplements 3.) No supplements made outside the U.S. 4.) Blo0d pressure check every six months 5.) kidney function tests once a year 6.) Extra water
11.) Can you still have kids?
Yes! Having only one kidney does not affect fertility at all. It does make it a “high risk” pregnancy though, so for women/birthing people who donate a kidney and decide to become pregnant later, it’s important to let their healthcare team know so they can be closely monitored to prevent very serious complications to the woman and the unborn. With close monitoring it can be a safe & healthy pregnancy.
12.) Are you religious/was this motivated by religious beliefs? No, I’m an atheist. I don’t need a god or religion to be compassionate or empathetic. My basic humanness is enough. I have felt it as a deep calling, it felt like something larger than me working through me, which is a bizarre experience for an atheist. And I have received what many believers would call “signs.” But I don’t believe in that. It was my desire to help someone that inspired me, and the deepcallingfeeling was just part of my experience. I don’t believe that any supernatural being would have been disappointed or punished me if I did not go through with it. And I don’t believe it scored me points with anyone or is my ticket into Heaven or some other afterlife. I just wanted to help someone!
💚
Living organ donation isn’t for everyone. These are just my experiences not something that everyone should feel for themselves. For me, living kidney donation truly felt like a calling. It was the easiest decision of this life of mine. I truly experience more stress trying to decide what flavor ice cream I want or if I want tea today or an iced latte 😂 No hesitation, no uncertainty whatsoever. I knew since the day I read a heartwarming story 15+ years before my donation, about a man who donated his kidney to an anonymous stranger, that I would one day do the same. I am 100% happy & thrilled with my decision. 💚🫘
Anyone interested in living kidney donation can check these out:
National Kidney Registry (the National Kidney Registry offers donor benefits like reimbursement for lost wages during recovery and travel/lodging expenses if necessary and a place on the priority list on the off chance the donor ever needs a kidney transplant in the future, also a kidney voucher for a friend/family member {or anyone} of the donor, so if someone they know ever needs a kidney transplant, since the donor donated to an anonymous stranger, they’ll let one person of the donor’s choice get a kidney transplant without waiting long, I donated my kidney voucher to another stranger, so two people are being helped through my one kidney donation)
Matching Donors (this website provides pictures and stories by people in need of a kidney transplant. Potential donors & recipients can browse and communicate with each other. A donor can choose to try to help a specific person, they may not be a match. But if they’re both associated with the National Kidney Registry, the donor can do a non directed donation and donate the voucher to the person they found on Matching Donors – this isn’t just for kidneys but other organs we can donate while alive also. Some people have donated their kidney AND a portion of their liver to different people {not at once lol usually have to wait around a year}! And it’s completely safe!)
The wound is the place where the Light enters you. 💛
Look how perfect & beautiful my incision/scar is!! It looks so good. The covering stuff holding it closed just came off, so I can finally see it in all its raw perfection & magnificent glory.
It’s amazing how just six weeks ago I was laying on an operating table out cold & cut completely open to give life to someone else and already my body is so healed. The scar is delicate and perfect. So powerful in all its subtlety & elegance.
My beautiful life affirming scar.
Isn’t it amazing that a whole life was saved & enhanced because of this small, thin, & delicate line on my abdomen? Awe inspiring. Something so small and seemingly insignificant, just a thin line that no one else may ever see and will eventually fade to almost nothing and be nearly invisible, yet it’s a symbol of one of the most significant things there is to do: giving life. It takes my breath away.
I remember waking up in the operating room groggy and amazed. There was no pain. (Other than a migraine-like headache) I instantly remembered what I did. It was hours later, but it felt like mere seconds ago that I was there on that table going under while the doctors & nurses laughed & joked and played what I vaguely remember being “Oh, Pretty Woman,” by Roy Orbison, for me as I was drifting off.
I couldn’t believe I just had surgery. It felt too good to be true. My body felt strong, healthy, & alive, even with all the grogginess, exhaustion, and headache, and one less organ. I couldn’t believe it finally happened after all these years of dreaming. It felt so easy. All I had to do was lay on a table and go to sleep for a couple hours so someone else can live. For me, it was that simple.
It was an extremely easy decision to make. It was my calling. There was never any hesitation, uncertainty, or question about it. I heard the call and answered.
It doesn’t matter that I may never get a thank you or see the impact of my act of compassion. The potential is what matters, potential to save and enhance a life. And there is joy & value in the act of giving, itself, without getting any results or gratitude for the act. Just the act alone is enough. And it doesn’t matter that the person is an anonymous stranger I may never lay eyes on. We are all the same at our core.
You are Me I am You We are One
I remember waking up with three doctors and one nurse standing at the end of my hospital bed in the OR before being wheeled to my room, all cheerfully saying “Good morning, Kimberly, you’re awake now, Kimberly, good morning, Kimberly, you’re awake, Kimberly….” over and over and over until I fully came to. They were all wearing masks & hair caps. But I could see their smiling eyes. And I knew. I knew it was a success. That pleasant experience of them gently guiding me out of insentience is one of my favorite memories of the whole journey. It made all the difference, waking up to that human compassion & positivity gave me a very different experience than if I would have woken up alone in a dark room in a cold, clinical setting of uncertainty. I will forever cherish it.
So many healthcare workers were in & out of the operating room praising me for giving the gift of life & health.
The surgeon said our kidney is beautiful. While I was still asleep, it was already on its way to do its job and save a life. It began working instantly in its new person’s body.
And now I am here, with this permanent beautiful, perfect reminder on my body of that beautiful, perfect day.
1/16/2024
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#endthewaitlist
Happy National Kidney Month!!! 💚💋🍀
#endthewaitlist
I hope you’re having a beautiful day or night wherever in the world you are! 💚
