Tag Archive | inspire
You Can Bend but Never Break Me </3 <3
Recently I have been thinking about how “unfair” and “unjust” things are and seem. People and things in this world can really drag us down and if we let them, even keep us down. There ‘s no doubt about it, people and things outside of ourselves affect us in negative (as well as positive) ways. In ways that may seem out of our control. But my truth is that people can have control over the extent in which they allow people and things, circumstances to “get to them.”
I don’t always have control over what anyone other than myself says or does or feels. I can’t help if people lash out at me, sling insults at me, physically assault me, verbally abuse me, or try hard to bring me down. I also do not and will not always have control over my circumstances or situations. I can’t always help getting stuck in traffic, things breaking, things not going my way. And the truth is since I am a living mortal with human emotions and not a robot, a brick wall, dead, brain dead, or whatever else these negative people and situations and things WILL negatively affect me in ways. They will. And that is part of being a living human. A feeling human. I may not have complete control over how things affect me but I DO have control over the degree in which they affect me.
Maybe not right away. But I can practice and learn to not be buffeted by things outside of myself.
I can do this by acknowledging and accepting the fact that life is good and bad and to remind myself that when people do things wrong to intentionally impact me negatively it says something about them, not me.
I can look at all the greatness I am surrounded with and filled with and learn not to dwell constantly on the pain and negative things.
I can honor myself. Do and Be what brings me joy. And know that if people do not like me or appreciate me, it’s their loss, their problem.
One day recently I read a story, a true and devastating story, written by a grieving mother who lost her 22 year old son to homicide many years ago. He was a college boy, shot dead by a much older “friend ” over a trivial argument. The mother’s strength and passion and determination amazed me then when I first read that story and amazes me now.
She chose to live. To keep going. A criminal, a murderer changed her life. And the lives of everyone who knew and loves him. It changed this mother ‘s life for the worse. He took away her only son and left her with just memories, grief, seemingly unbearable pain, and so much confusion and shock . He shattered her life. But she made the choice to put her life back together, though it will never be the same. A vicious, malicious criminal ended her loving, caring son ‘s life but she sure as hell wasn’t going to let that same malicious man end hers in anyway. She is now an advocate for homicide victims and their families and friends. She works with criminals and murderers in positive ways to try to get them to understand to some degree the devastation that their horrific actions have on everyone around them.
She is a survivor.
Some years ago, a man held a gun to my chest at the store where I work. It’s window service. I was working alone late at night with no one else around. He came up to the window and told me he had a gun and that I better give him all the store money or he would kill me. He actually said those words to me. “I’ll kill you.” I refused to give him the money and he pulled the gun out and held it to my chest and said “I’m serious, I will kill you.”.
I still refused. (yeah people told me later how very stupid I was)
Then he told me I better give it or he’ll kill me and take the money then kill the people in the bar across the street which my boss also owns. He said if I give him the money we all live. I never want anyone else’s lives in danger so I let him have it.
The man was never caught. There was no camera to catch his image. I couldn’t identify him in any pictures. None were of him.
I wasn’t hurt. And I wasn’t touched physically.
My dad says every now and then how one of his biggest fears is someone coming to the window again while I’m working and actually carrying through with a vicious plan or threat of some sort and either ending or “ruining” my life. He’s afraid I’ll live but be seriously attacked or injured in some way.
But I made a choice. No one will ever ruin my life unless that person ends it. But as long as I’m living No one other than me can destroy me or ruin me because I said so and I will never give anyone that power. I may not always be able to prevent or avoid an attack, physical or verbal. But I won’t let it destroy me. No one deserves that kind of power over me.
Something or someone can hurt me. Scare me. Paralyze me or whatever but NO ONE will destroy or ruin me. I will be negatively affected by negative people and things.
And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I want to be fully alive. It is normal. Natural. Healthy. To be negatively affected by the world around us. To be sad. Disappointed. Grief stricken. Angry. Scared…..jealous….suspicious, all in healthy dosages.
But then we get back up and move forward. And keep going. And keep living. And still create happiness & joy.
Like Helen Reddy sings, “You can Bend but Never Break me”
What I’m saying right now must be said gently or I risk sounding cruel. It is in no way intended to tell “victims” or survivors of anything to “get over it” or that they’re overreacting or not handling things right. Everyone reacts in different ways and handles things differently. I want survivors of anything, big and small things, alike to take back the power and never let someone or something else have that power.
I don’t want a criminal or a bully or a situation or illness or anything to have power over a person. I want the person to empower herself (himself). It’s not always easy. It takes learning and practice and maybe some extra help.
But we can learn not to be destroyed by someone or something else outside of ourselves. We don’t have to feel numb or deny the impact or the scars. We can admit the horror we have endured and how it affected us and then muster up all the strength we have and move forward with an open heart.
It’s not your fault that people do bad things to you. There’s no justification for abuse or assault or mistreatment of any kind. And it’s not your fault if you have a sickness of any kind or a disability. And it’s not your fault if you react negatively to the negativity or mistreatment. It’s just your natural reaction. You can take back your power and own yourself.
I will rise above the victim mentality. Instead I will acknowledge and honor my ability to make choices, my ability to choose happiness and joy even through the trauma and sorrow and grief and negativity.
I refuse to be a victim.
Xoxo Kim
“You can bend but never break me
‘Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
‘Cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul”. ~ Helen Reddy (I Am Woman)
The lovely Moon, a light in the darkness.
When Encountering Difficult People
Not everyone you meet in your life will be easy going, light hearted, friendly, and warm. Some will be difficult, unpleasant, extremely rude, outright miserable and hard to handle.
For many people, even the usual friendly, kind people, the natural reaction is to respond with the same coldness and angry temperament that the difficult person dishes out.
This doesn’t mean they are bad or unkind people for responding or wanting to respond that way, it’s just that other people’s moods and attitudes often impact or influence our own.
But it doesn’t always have to be that way. We can choose to rise above the negativity of others.
I work at a store and most of my customers are extremely kind and friendly and so grateful for my service and very expressing of that gratitude.
And even the few people who aren’t the friendliest are not usually blatantly rude or difficult.
But on extremely rare occasions I get one who is.
A few weeks ago I was training a new girl and a man, who is an old man, came for ice cream. There was a misunderstanding and he gave me way too much money and walked away without his change. I called him back and gave him his change and he started yelling very bitterly that he should actually get back more change.
He left very angry. And I was so annoyed and felt a surge of anger at him.
Then he recently came back very angry and loud and yelled “Give me two small ice creams you hear me!!!! Two small ice creams!!!”. His attitude was lousy.
But I was in no mood to react angrily or be rude to him. I just saw him as a person with desires and needs and I smiled at him and got what he wanted. I made it easy for him to carry his ice cream by putting them in a small box. I asked him if he needed napkins and my tone was very friendly. Genuinely friendly. I felt compassion for him. He is a person with needs and desires, no less worthy of compassion and kindness than I am.
I was amazed when his face lit up and he smiled at me brightly. He said “Have a great night, hun!”. And was very friendly as he was leaving.
His whole expression and physical movements changed. He became lighter and softer. All because my interaction with him was pleasant.
Imagine if I would have perpetuated the hostility with a bitter tone. It would have made him more bitter, more negative, more hostile. Which in turn, could have made me more angry. And on and on.
I would have never seen his good side and he would have not seen mine. I gave us both the chance to truly see each other.
He came back another night and was friendly as can be. Smiling and happily greeting me. Sometimes people get the wrong impression of another person or mis judge or make inaccurate assumptions based on things that are not true or real or what they seem.
People should not act on first judgments but they often do. We should not assume something and act before knowing but sometimes that is exactly what we do.
Maybe the man got the wrong impression of me for whatever reason and reacted based on his thoughts or feelings about it.
But it’s my job to show him who I really am. So that’s what I did.
Things will not always go this smoothly. Some people will be bitter and negative towards you no matter how kind, gentle, and warm you are with them. That’s just the way some people are. But you do not have to react back that way.
But the choice is yours.
You are not a horrible person for coming back at people or resorting to angry comments or even slinging an insult now and then.
While there are better ways to handle unpleasant situations, we occasionally (or maybe even often) may get caught up in the heat of that moment and react negatively or non effectively.
Sometimes I feel like reacting negatively to people when they are difficult and unkind.
Then I remember this quote :
“Don’t treat people as bad as they are. Treat them as good as you are.” ~ Unknown
And it inspires warmth in me. It’s not only treating that person well but being true to myself. I can be above treating people horribly or negatively. There will always be rude and bitter people and I believe that is ok.
There are various kinds of people in this life. Not all of them good and pleasant. We can’t and should not control anyone but ourselves. We can make attempts to influence and impact one another for the better but that’s all.
Try to influence negative people with your positivity not let their negativity influence you.
It’s good to be affected by others. Both negatively and positively. It makes us fully alive. Who wants to walk around like a zombie or robot and be shielded, completely, against the world? Not letting anyone in?
People are good and bad. The world is good and bad. Life itself is good and bad. And being affected is part of living.
But we can work to not allow ourselves to be too worked up, destroyed, or depressed or anxious over the thoughts, actions, and feelings of others.
There’s an amazing book called, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (and it’s all small stuff) by Richard Carlson
And in this book one of the author’s suggestions to help us feel more compassion for difficult people is to imagine them as a newborn infant or a 100 year old person who has not much longer to live.
At one point all of us were newborn children and if we are blessed enough, at one point we will be very old. The man feels that this may put things in perspective for us.
Babies and very old people need and deserve love, warmth, and compassion
And their age often reminds us of that.And we can work to extend that to others of all ages when they are troubling us.
Remember when you get caught up in other people’s bitterness, negativity, cruelty, and anger, at least you are not them!
I hope you are having an amazingly beautiful day full of love & light & laughter! 😀
Xox0 Kim
” When you are in an upsetting situation, try loving everyone involved and pray for them, hard as they may be. Loving doesn’t mean sentimentality but rather a rational esteem for them as persons.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale
Putting a Positive Spin on the questions you ask yourself
You know those questions, the ones you ask yourself when you mess up or feel low about yourself? The ones which make you feel even more low?? They sound something like this:
1.) How can I be so stupid?!
2.) How could have I done such a thing?!
3.) Am I the biggest asshole Or what?
4.) Can I be anymore of a fuck up?
5.) What is WRONG with me?!
6.) Can I ever do anything right?!
7.) How could I have let this happen.
And then there’s the self-abusive/hopeless statements:
1.) what an asshole I am.
2.) I am the biggest loser.
3.) how stupid I am!
4.) I can’t do anything right.
5.) I’m so fat.
6.) i’ll never amount to anything.
7.) nothing will ever get better.
Those negative questions and statements serve no purpose but to perpetuate your negative energy and your low moods.
Instead of giving into that kind of self talk you may want to try this instead: take those questions and statements and put a positive spin on them.
For example. Take question #1 which is “How can I be so stupid?!” and transform it to:
“What can I do in the future to try to prevent this mistake I made now?”. Everyone makes mistakes, misunderstands things, is unaware of certain things, and does something wrong every now and then. Try to recognize what you may have missed or done wrong. You won’t always be able to prevent it again though. You will always occasionally make mistakes, some even more than once, maybe even again and again. And that’s ok. You are a human after all.
Go easy on yourself. Messing up doesn’t indicate that you are unintelligent.
Let’s take #2 “How could I have done such a thing?!”. Let’s transform that to:
“I made a mistake or have done something I’m not proud of. It says nothing of my worth or my overall intelligence or ability to make decisions.”.
Just because you occasionally do something “stupid ” doesn’t mean you, the person, is stupid. Just because you “fail” once in a while doesn’t make you a failure as a person.
And instead of seeing it as “failing”, you can even take this message:
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. ” ~Thomas A. Edison
You are experimenting and learning.
Instead of “I can’t do anything right” try something like “this did not turn out how I wanted but I can learn what to do/what not to do in the future. “
Ask yourself why you did what you did, how you can act differently in the future. Replace words like “loser “, “asshole”, “fail” or “failure ” with more positive loving words. You are a person who has made a mistake, tried and things did not go as expected or planned. You are alive and so have the opportunity to try and try again and WIN.
Also, when things are going your way and you are happy and inspired and joyous, it can help you to take note of it, examine it and see why you are feeling amazing. If you can pinpoint the things and thoughts and actions that are contributing to those wonderfully positive feelings, you can make a habit of doing and thinking those things regularly so you generally feel more positive.
If you are generally a happy, relaxed, joyful person then keep on doing what you’re doing! Think good things about yourself and others. Continue to care for yourself.
Rest. Sleep. Meditate. Splurge once in a while. Cut negative people out of your life.
If you catch yourself having too many negative moods or feelings lately, stop and see if you can determine why. Everyone, no matter how healthy and happy is going to experience low moods and feelings once in a while. That’s ok. But when they start becoming frequent and crashing in on you, take note of it.
Has something changed recently?
Are you getting less sleep for some reason?
Having difficulty in some relationship of yours?
Is the way you view an unpleasant experience contributing to your low feelings.
If you are generally not very happy, are very stressed, anxious, or depressed, there are things you can do to elevate and maintain a general sense of well-being.
Even if you’re generally unhappy or sluggish there may still be more seldom moments in your life where you have felt much better, happier, energized, and joy filled.
Sometimes you won’t know why you’re feeling low or why you’re feeling happy. Moods fluctuate often without a known reason.
But see if you can become aware of why you feel the way you do.
If meditating, resting, countering negative thoughts, caring for yourself, eating healthier…makes you feel happier and uplifts you, make those things routine. Do them everyday. Incorporate them into your schedule.
You’re worth it! 😀
Xox0 Kim
If we weren’t all crazy we would go insane
(my dog Koko after she got done eating a vanilla cream horn treat. she has cream on her little face. Lol silly girl!)
” And I’ll never be the same without you here
I’ll live alone and hide myself behind my tears
And I’ll never be the same without your love
I’ll live alone and try so hard to rise above” ~ Christopher Cross
I’m ready.
Ready to start laughing again. Those good belly laughs I used to laugh almost constantly every night and day for as long as I can remember. Until my dog died. Three months ago.
I stopped laughing then. I wouldn’t let myself. When I found something amusing as I usually do I would quickly remind myself, “Wait! You can’t laugh, Koko is dead!”. And I would become somber. Or apathetic. Or grief stricken. Or just stop. And go about my day. Not laughing.
I wouldn’t really say or think those words but the concept of my sweet dog being dead would creep into my brain destroying any desire I had to laugh, any ounce of amusement I began to experience .
Ever since I was little, in elementary school, probably even before, I have been very easily amused over everything and nothing. I laugh more than anyone I have ever known.
I got in trouble in class often for laughing out loud uncontrollably at kids being bad.
My mom yells at me sometimes for laughing during inappropriate situations like when my dog eats out of the cat’s litter box. Lol
Once, my therapist asked me if it is some sort of coping mechanism or cover up for Anxiety. And my answer is NO. I am genuinely amused. Just a silly, giggly girl. I usually always find something to laugh about even when I am unhappy or depressed or angry!
There are occasions when I have been super furious at someone but still amused and laughing uncontrollably and I would be so pissed at myself for laughing because who is going to take my anger seriously when I’m laughing my ass off?! Lol 😀
But when Koko died in April I stopped laughing. After a few days I started to smile and laugh a little bit and be slightly amused but those serious belly laughs have been extremely rare.
Grief never goes away. Grief over a human friend or family member or grief over a fur or feather or reptile…… friend dying is forever etched in our hearts.
But for many people it eventually heals to a point where it’s not always raw or always the main feeling everyday. It appears and reappears and on some occasions even decades later, maybe it resurfaces at full force and then subsides again.
It doesn’t have to hinder or taint happiness.
My grief has for the most part taken the back burner and I can still be happy and I even eventually began feeling mostly like myself again. But still there has been some kind of damper put on this life of mine.
There will always be a part of me missing. Always. My dog wasn’t just my “pet”. She was my friend, my family.
And this death hurts me so much it’s unbelievable.
But this death is somewhat easier than what many people have to endure with a loss. Koko was old and lived a whole dog life and 12 years with me. And she was not sick, in pain, or suffering when she died. My mom and dad were there with her and watched her take her last breath.
She began to slow down days before her death and her breathing changed and we hoped so desperately that she wouldn’t begin to suffer and that if she must die soon that it would be easy and quick. I couldn’t bear to think of her suffering or being euthanized by an animal doctor as my mom mentioned may have to happen.
Some dogs die alone, in pain, lost, young, and abandoned, never knowing true love. Some are so bad off they are euthanized.
But not Koko. She was loved by us for 12 years. We celebrated her every birthday, bought her gifts every holiday, let her sleep in bed, on the sofa, she had other fur friends. I bought her treats home every night after work. The girl was spoiled!! 😉
And she died old, quickly, and naturally.
And for all of that I am so blessed. Seriously what more can I ask for?!
It does not take away my grief. But grief should never go away anyway. Grief is part of living and loving and when one life is so impacted by another grief is the result of loss.
A few days ago I began laughing again a lot
Throughout the day like before. And it has been continuing everyday now.
And I realized I haven’t been my giggly self for so long. I felt different but could not put my finger on it. Then one night I laughed hysterically over song lyrics and realized I haven’t laughed quite like that in ages!
I think after three months my grief is finally beginning to heal more.
It’s important to remember that it’s ok to laugh even when someone else has died or is dying or experiencing tragedy or pain or illness.
I have a tendency to feel guilt laughing when I hear about, see on the news, or know someone who died or is experiencing tragedy.
But me/you/someone not laughing and intentionally not having fun does not help the tragedy in the world. It just results in another unhappy person or one who is not fully living.
I can laugh. It won’t hurt Koko. If I choose not to laugh, it won’t bring her back. It HURTS to let go. Hurts desperately. But it’s ok.
Just because you laugh doesn’t mean you are cold or don’t care or are forgetting or ignoring the death or pain of others.
You are still living. It’s your life. It’s ok. It’s necessary to move forward.
I never wanted to admit this but a few days after Koko died my pain was so severe I thought I wanted to die too.
I felt nothing but anger every day and pain.
I wasn’t angry at anyone specifically. There was no one to be angry at.
But now I don’t feel angry. I feel blessed. I am blessed.
Two nights ago I was looking through older pictures trying to find one of my dog, Isis Summerjo, and I accidentally saw like 100 of Koko in my phone and I felt as if I was suffocating and drowning all over again.
I have only been able to look at pictures of her and talk about her on certain occasions when I felt enabled to do so. And then I accidentally saw them and I clicked each and every one I saw and looked. It hurt but I smiled and realized how much stronger I am now.
A brief fleeting thought of me wanting to die ran across my brain. But I told myself. What good will dying do? Will it bring Koko back? No. Will it end my pain? Yes but it will also end everything else. And I don’t need that.
There is always hope.
My life is more good than pain.
And even when it doesn’t feel that way.
There’s always hope.
I am so skilled now more than ever at being able to see the good amidst the bad. The positive in the negative. The hope in the darkness. The healing in the hurt.
I can even feel happy while depressed.
Also,
It’s now July! You know what that means right!? Nine months. I haven’t been suicidal or even thought about it seriously in nine months. That’s the longest I have ever been able to go without those compulsions and thoughts in……FOURTEEN years!!!!!! Fourteen years!!!!!!! In case you don’t know, I wrote about this in previous blog entries here. I suffer with clinical depression. I have suffered with mental illness since I was eleven years old and at 21 years old I was hospitalized and was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic Features. I was hospitalized again and participate in psychotherapy and drug therapy. I struggled for years
and in 2010 I truly started to get better. Four months is the longest I have ever been able to go without being suicidal since I was 13 years old. And usually not even that long. Until now. But now I’m back and better than ever! 😀
I changed my ways. My thinking, my attitude, my life. And I am going strong. I celebrate living everyday.
I hope everyone will find hope and love even in pain and darkness.
I am ready to start laughing again. To start living again.
Xoxo Kim
P.s. Wondering what lyrics and songs are so hilarious?! Lol! Check these out!!
“My head hurts , my feet stink” by Jimmy Buffett. Just the song title has me rofl
“Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes”
Jimmy Buffett
“With these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
With all of my running, and all of my cunning
If I couldn’t laugh I just would go insane
If we couldn’t laugh we just would go insane
If we weren’t all crazy we would go insane”
“
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/jimmy+buffett/changes+in+latitudes+changes+in+attitudes_20071889.html
“Growing older not up”
“I’m growing older but not up
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
Let those winds of time blow over my head
Id rather die while Im living than live while Im dead”
~ Jimmy Buffett
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/jimmy+buffett/growing+older+but+not+up_20071897.html
“The Asshole song”
“Were you born an asshole
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way, it worked out fine
‘Cause you’re an asshole tonight “
~
Jimmy Buffett
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/jimmy+buffett/the+asshole+song_20214732.html
And I hope you find a bit of inspiration in some of these lyrics as well.
Here’s a pic I made using an app, it’s one of those “when you see it” pics. Lol
,
Focus on yourself. <3
<img src="https://adoseofinspiration.blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/image_20130627_143144.jpg" class="size-full" alt="Focus on yourself.
Forget about being “better” or “worse” than someone else. Put all that energy and all those thoughts and work into evolving yourself and being the best YOU that you can be. You have your own life and they have theirs. Embrace & celebrate you! ❤ 😀
How do you live? <3
” Not how did she die, but how did she live?
Not what did she gain, but what did she give?
These are the units to measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of birth.
Not, what was her church, nor what was her creed?
But had she befriended those really in need?
Was she ever ready, with word of good cheer,
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not what did the sketch in the newspaper say,
But how many were sorry when she passed away. ”
~Unknown
I saw this quote in a book and I love it! To me, it rings so true. For many of us, the first thing we think when we hear a person has died, even when we never knew that person is, “How did s/he die!?”. That’s our morbid curiosity. There’s nothing wrong with that. But what’s more important than that is how the person lived. I don’t want to think about or dwell on the tragic or sad circumstances of someone’s death. I want to bask in the wonder, love, beauty, and glory of that person’s life and the imprint the life of that person leaves on this Earth with all of us who still live. Even if I never knew that person, I can still be impacted by the life s/he lived.
Have you ever read an online memorial or an obituary in the newspaper for a person who died? While very sad, it can be quite inspiring. Try reading an obituary or online memorial for a stranger and the comments written by those who are grieving and all those caring people who lavish sympathy on the bereaved and the dead. But instead of letting your morbid curiosity take over searching for clues of the causes of death, focus on the details of how that person lived.
Look at the smile on that person’s face in pictures if you can and feel the words written about the person. Look at how that person touched many, many other lives and made people smile, contributed positively to the community in which s/he lived, embraced family & friends, provided kindness to strangers, made people laugh, loved others
…
This is a great honor to the person and a wonderful gift to the family and friends to have the one they love who is now gone, still affecting the world for the better.
There are so many amazing people, alive and dead. They all deserve to be known, loved, remembered, honored, and acknowledged.
I saw a blog topic recently “What would you want your obituary to say? “. I haven’t completed this as a blog entry but I thought about the concept.
I wouldn’t want mine to just state how I died, how much money I got for working, and other basic details. I would love for it to describe how I was able to brighten people’s days, make them smile, how I loved animals and people and cared for everyone whether I knew them or not. And how I would always be aware of the simple joys of living. I hope that’s how people view me. That’s who I want to be.
Think about how you live. Is it really important how financially rich you are, how many expensive material possessions you have, how many work promotions you achieve, how many school degrees you can obtain, how big your house is, how new your car is, if you have the latest fashion accessories or phone….?
Or does it matter more how you help people, how you listen to people, how you love people, what you contribute to the world around you, how happy you are with the you inside, how living creatures are touched by your life, how full your heart is….?
You may or may not have an advanced school degree or a well respected, good paying job, you may or may not be extremely intelligent, maybe you don’t have much money or a great house or car or anything much but is your heart full of love? Do your veins throb with life? Do you provide consolation, love, and friendship to those in need? That’s all that really matters!
It doesn’t matter what your religion is or if you are religious or not. It doesn’t matter what your skin color or sexual orientation or gender or gender identity is. Your nationality and ethnicity do not matter for how much you are worth. I’m not saying those above things do not matter in certain situations or for how you are treated sometimes, I’m saying they do not make you worth more or worth less. Or worthy or deserving of more or of less.
Think about how you live and how you want to live. And I hope you find deep within you the things you know are important and are able to abandon the things you know are not.
I hope you are having a beautiful night or day wherever you are at this moment.
Xoxo Kim
Just Checking In & Gratitude <3
I haven’t forgotten about this blog or given up on blogging! It’s just that something dreadful happened to my poor poor phone recently! As people who read my blog may know I mostly use my phone for blogging. It is (or was :-/) a lovely, perfect phone. I love mobile phones with Internet a lot. And I prefer them over computers of any kind for everything that I can get away with using them for. As you may or may not know, I recently got a new Blackberry Z10 phone! About two months ago. Not very long but it already contained “my whole life” on it. Thousands of pictures, thousands of songs/playlists, contacts, memos, apps….
One night a few days ago after work I was getting out of my dad’s mini van and I dropped my beautiful phone! And the beautiful, perfect touch screen CRACKED! I can live with a crack on my phone but that’s not all! The crack starts at the bottom and goes right on up to the top at a curve and the small portion of the screen below the crack works perfectly while the large portion of the screen above the crack is done for. Yup! It’s a lost cause.
And the worst part is that all my memos are GONE. All of my inspirational thoughts and ideas and writings. Many drafts of posts I planned on publishing here are just gone. </3
Luckily my phone is insured and in a few days I will pay over 100 dollars and then shortly after that I will have a new Blackberry Z10. But it won’t bring all my sweet ideas back.
😦 But you know what, it’s my fault. I take full responsibility. And not in a guilty way but in a constructive way. If I did what I planned and backed my ideas up on paper they would still be here. If I was more careful with my phone and put it in my bag instead of carrying it in my hand with a million other things, my phone would not have fallen to the ground. If I kept the cover on like my mom insisted over and over again, it probably would have protected my screen. But none of that occurred. What did occur is that I dropped my phone while it was in the nude and did not copy any of my ideas onto paper. That is my reality. Not pleasant but true. And I accept it and will know better.
http://mashable.com/2013/03/20/blackberry-z10-teardown-whats-up-with-that/
At the above link the author who breaks smartphones intentionally by dropping them to watch them shatter and test how they work afterwards explains how blackberry phones are much less likely to survive a fall than other touchscreen phones like the iPhone. Blackberry company likes their phones to be thinner, lighter, and less expensive so they make their touchscreens suckier than others and more likely to not work after a fall. But if the phone is in its case there’s a good chance it will survive the fall. Looks like my mom was right! I should have listened. But my phone case is rubber and my new baby boy doggy loves to chew it so I gave it to him!
I generally, naturally have an open and grateful “mind”. And even when I’m not in the most grateful mood, I usually make it a point to look for things to be grateful for and it isn’t difficult to find things that I KNOW are blessings even when I don’t really FEEL the gratitude I know I should feel for them at that moment. After losing my phone like this it really woke me up even more to all I have. The night it happened I tried so hard to fix it, calling the T-Mobile place, trying to back up all my info on a computer…and nothing seemed to help. All throughout the night I woke up feeling sad over it. Then I would think of something amazing I still do have. I would look over at my sweet little Emmy (my baby boy, puppy) sleeping beside me and feel how completely blessed I am. I have so much more than a phone.
Losing my phone is very unfortunate but it would have been so much worse to lose a friend or a pet or a family member or my life. This thought inspires me right now and has been inspiring me since I lost the quality of my phone. I don’t think it to myself aggressively as a lecture to myself to scold me for being ungrateful. Instead I firmly but gently remind myself that it’s ok to be sad over this and disappointed but to look at all I still do have.
I have things to look forward to as well.
There are a couple of movies I desperately want to see so soo desperately!!!
One is “The Heat” and one is “The Purge”.
The Heat looks sooo entertaining and so hilarious while the Purge seems so very fascinating. It’s about how every year or something one night of the year ALL criminal acts of every kind become legal. The people who are for this are hoping it will reduce criminal acts the rest of the year in general because they’ll get it all out that one night. I know it’s only a movie and I’m not easily offended but I actually am quite offended by the whole very concept that homicide and sexual assault are legal for one night. Like I said, I know it’s not real but still. lol It’s ridiculous but it’s interesting and I LOVE Philosophy. It was actually my major in College.
I, myself, do not believe that most people would commit a very serious criminal act even if it were to become legal. I sure as hell would not. It is deeply Philosophical and so incredibly fascinating to ponder. It brings up a lot of issues like “where do we get our morals?” “Are morals and the idea of right and wrong innate or learned?” “Is there really an objective RIGHT and an objective WRONG or is it all just subjective opinions?” There is no scientific or direct one answer. But I believe the basic idea of right and wrong is so ingrained into our “minds” and we are so used to certain horrific acts such as homicide and sexual assault being NOT ok and being so very wrong that most of us would not commit those acts even if we could and get away with it. Think about it. Would you commit homicide even if you could and not be in trouble at all? Can you really bring yourself to do that? Would you sexually assault someone? I don’t think so. The law can change but it won’t change our sanity and conscience.
We will still be civil and moral and not want to seriously hurt someone. Now, there’s no doubt in my mind that SOME people would take full advantage of criminal acts being legal and all hell would break loose where they are. No doubt about it. But I believe people are basically good and for the most part we don’t need laws of any sort telling us what to do and not to do when it comes to serious criminal acts. This is not to say we don’t need law or police or government though. I think even if people would turn bad if the legal laws become obsolete (which is very unlikely, I believe) it would take many years for “criminal” acts to get out of hand. Like I said most of us either know what is right and wrong innately or we are so used to being told something is wrong that we would not take advantage of criminal acts becoming legal. At least I hope I’m right about this!! lol My mom and sister seriously disagree with me on this!
If homicide becomes legal I still will NEVER kill. I don’t care if I won’t get in trouble at all. I don’t want to hurt anyone and I don’t want to be the kind of woman who does bad things just because I can. I want to be true and honest and loving and nurturing and healing.
Thank You SO SO much to all police officers, detectives, and other law enforcement people who work so hard and even put themselves in danger often, to keep us safe and to keep society in order. We often take them and their work for granted and they deserve a big THANK YOU!! ❤
And another thing I am looking very forward to is writing a guest post for TinyBuddha.com
is an inspirational website about living a great life and things like that and they love for "ordinary" people, ones who are not necessarily professionals or experts or writers or life coaches…, to write positive and inspiring posts on personal experiences of how to live an amazing and rewarding life. There are certain guidelines the writers must follow and if the author of the website likes the guest post and sees it fit for her website she will accept it and publish it for millions of people to see! Mine may not get accepted but maybe it will! It has to be original and can never have been published anywhere previously not even on the person's own blog or website.
Mine will be on mindfulness and celebrating life itself. 😀
I am so happy about this because I love to inspire people and touch lives for the better. ❤
And something I am thankful for:
❤ My beautiful body. It functions near perfectly. It carries me day and night. It lets me feel and love and heal and live. It allows me to experience pleasure and pain and all of life. Thank You eyes for seeing the beauty all around, for seeing colors and long hair and leaves blowing in the wind, thank you ears for the wonderful experience of cars screeching in the streets and the birds chirping in the trees and the music of life. Thank you nose and tongue for the scents and tastes of rain and citrus and chocolate and cookies and mist and laundry detergent, thank you skin and fingers for the smooth touch and feel of blankets throughout the morning and night. The hug of a friend and the touch of an animal's feathers or fur. The feel of hot and cold, and snow glistening. Thank You Heart that dances in my chest for the pulsating rhythm of life that pounds through me. Thank You bones for being strong and firm. Thank You kidneys for all the hard work to keep my body going strong. Thank You stomach for digesting so so perfectly and thank you muscles and veins and all of me. Thank You brain for allowing me to live and be conscious. Thank You spinal cord and nerves for allowing me to feel and walk and sit up straight. Thank You appendix for whatever it is you do. (Keeping the good germs alive and well?!) Thank You beautiful , wondrous body of mine. For everything.
I wrote this because I LOVE my beautiful body. I am beautiful.
My sister asked me if it's easy being so cheesy. lol Yes, for me, yes it is. 😀
I hope you all are having a beautiful day or night.
x0x0 Kim ❤
Hello – Lionel Richie
There’s a song I really love, actually there are lots. But the one on my heart today is “Hello” by Lionel Richie. He has an amazing & beautiful voice and I’m a softie for sappy love songs, especially old/ sort of old ones!
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=b_ILDFp5DGA&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Db_ILDFp5DGA
(I’m using my mobile phone and can only get the mobile link which may not work for anyone using a computer or another kind of phone)
I sure love my sap!
“I’ve been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you’re looking for?
I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile
You’re all I’ve ever wanted, (and) my arms are open wide
‘Cause you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much
I love You.”
It’s the sweetest thing ever. I have a beautiful image in my head when I think of or listen to this beauty. I imagine a beautiful woman (I know he may not be singing to a woman but that is what comes into my head and in the video he is singing to a young woman) walking by in the gorgeous sunlight as it dances upon her hair and lights up her beauty and smile and a lonely and loving man longing for a companion peers out at her longingly without her knowing and dreams often of what it would be like to talk to her, touch her, be near her, embrace her, be loved by her in return. …He wants to know her and her life. I see images of tables and chairs outside small cafes with umbrellas above and people walking the streets but this lovely lady is the one who catches his eyes and his heart.
Breathtaking. Stunning.
Many years ago I heard on the radio, a disc jockey say that this song is NOT a romantic love song but a platonic love song about a long lost family member. And she briefly explained how some of the lyrics indicate that. My memory of exactly what she said is faltering and so I don’t really know much else. All I know is it definitely sounds like a romantic love song to me and when I search the net for the lyrics and meaning, everyone else seems to believe it’s about romantic love. Either way, it’s stunningly beautiful. So warm and wistfull.
The video? Well, it’s controversial but I like it. Lol. In the video he is a teacher or professor and the girl he loves is legally blind. She cannot see a thing. She is very, very young which is one of the things that make it controversial and she’s also a student where he teaches, also controversial. But maybe the most controversial thing of all….he stalks her! that’s right, stalks her! Lol
It may be creepy but he’s not a serial murderer or sexual predator, he just loves this beautiful girl. I get the idea that she’s a young woman in college, maybe about 20 or 21 years old. But some think she’s younger.
Anyway, she’s in an art class and all of a sudden there is some commotion and people run to get him to come and see what this girl has sculpted in her class.
He runs into the room where she is sculpting and it’s quite a shock!
You may just want to cry! Lol
Now, if you want to watch the YouTube video which is a few minutes long, to see what happens instead of reading it here then do not read any more because I’m writing a spoiler!!!
SPOILER alert!!!
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The thing the girl sculpted is the professor’s face!!! As accurate as can be!! And remember, she’s blind! Completely and never touched his face before then. She’s in love with him too! So much she already knows his face!
😀
I would LOVE any comments/messages about the meaning or anyone else’s interpretations of this lovely song! But I’ll always love it even if it’s a mystery!
Lionel Richie is one of my favorite singers, always has been, and forever will be.
http://www.lyrics007.com/Lionel Richie Lyrics/Hello Lyrics.html
;-D
Xox0 Kim 😀
It’s ok <3
It’s ok to be powerful but gentle.
It’s ok to be shy but bold.
It’s ok to be loving but firm.
It’s ok to be giving but receptive.
It’s ok to be assertive and passive.
It’s ok to be strong but soft.
It’s ok to be expressive but reserved.
It’s ok to be outspoken.
It’s ok to be wild.
It’s ok to be joyful.
It’s ok to be sad.
It’s ok to be scared.
It’s ok to be wise but confused.
It’s ok to have setbacks.
It’s ok to fall.
It’s ok to get back up.
It’s ok to rest.
It’s ok to be loved.
It’s ok to do nothing for a while.
It’s ok to be adventurous but cautious.
It’s ok to be different.
It’s ok to stand out.
It’s ok to disagree.
It’s ok to grieve.
It’s ok to not know.
It’s ok to not completely understand.
It’s ok to be thin.
It’s ok to not be thin.
It’s ok to be hurt.
It’s ok to heal.
It’s ok to move on.
It’s ok to be imperfect.
It’s ok to fail.
It’s ok to succeed.
It’s ok to be tacky.
It’s ok to be youthful.
It’s ok to splurge on yourself every now and then.
It’s ok to skip a day of work just because you feel like it.
It’s ok to get bored.
It’s ok to be ungrateful sometimes.
It’s ok to want more.
It’s ok to want better.
It’s ok to love yourself.
It’s ok to forgive.
It’s ok to be angry.
It’s ok to be selfish sometimes.
It’s ok to curse.
It’s ok to be soft – spoken.
It’s ok to speak up.
It’s ok to know you deserve better.
It’s ok to ask for help.
It’s ok to not explain yourself.
It’s ok to accept yourself, flaws and all.
It’s ok to love even when it hurts.
It’s ok to cry.
It’s ok not to cry.
It’s ok to laugh.
It’s ok to be silly.
It’s ok to celebrate for no reason.
It’s ok to get dressed up just because.
It’s ok to buy yourself an expensive gift merely because you want it.
It’s ok to buy yourself flowers.
It’s ok to wear mismatching clothes.
It’s ok to be misunderstood.
It’s ok to be complicated.
It’s ok to be simple.
It’s ok to come alive.
It’s ok to get tired.
It’s ok to feel weak sometimes.
It’s ok to be happy.
It’s ok to be wonderful.
It’s ok to be beautiful.
It’s ok to be you.
It’s all ok.
Xox0 Kim 😀
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