Tag Archive | kindness

Love Out Loud

image

“Always leave the world a little better than you found it.”

To me, one of the greatest joys of living is helping others, making things go more smoothly for anyone I can.

There are many simple ways to help people all throughout everyday. Simple things that have a great impact. We don’t have to have a certain job or anything to help out. There are endless opportunities in every day. ❤

There are ways to help people that will go unnoticed by everyone but the person helping but if these simple things are not done, it will be noticed.

You may think something along the lines of “Why even do this when no one will even know? Not even the person being helped will know!” But if you don’t, people will be affected in an unpleasant way.

For example, seeing milkcrates or boxes in the middle of a street with no one else around. If you move those crates or boxes away so people in cars can more easily drive by, there’s a very good chance no one will ever know someone was kind enough to move them. They never knew they were there in the first place. They’ll just drive by without ever knowing. They can’t bask in the joy or gratitude of knowing someone helped them because they don’t know someone did help them.

But if we don’t help by moving those boxes or crates, they will know they’re there. They’ll have to stop, get out of their cars and move them themselves. Or worse, they’ll crash into them, not paying attention. They will feel the impact of the hassle they have encountered. So there really is a purpose to doing simple things that will go unnoticed when the tasks are completed. If they’re not completed, they will be noticed so why not make things easier for people in general whenever we can?! We’re generally under no obligation to help make things easier for people, and if you don’t it doesn’t make you a horrible person, but it’s still fantastic to help anyway!

I don’t need credit or to be paid back in anyway whatsoever. Helping people is enough. I was thinking about this concept one day at work, recently, and it always brings me joy to think this way but I’m always unprepared for the immensity and the depth of the joy that hits me and flows through me, tingling in my bones when I think this way. It’s breathtaking.

The thrill of all the possibilities we have, all the chances we can take, to help anyone we
 can in big and small ways. It’s exhilarating!

image

Even if it’s just eye contact with and a pleasant smile to a stranger, giving someone your seat on a bus or a waiting room, not judging distressed and overworked parents with screaming kids in a crowded place when everyone else is repulsed and giving them disgusted looks, actively listening to someone with a genuine interest in understanding instead of just listening to deliver an appropriate sounding response, being a loyal friend, adopting a pet and giving him/her a loving furever home, paying for someone in back or in front of you in line at a store, writing little love notes with inspirational quotes or messages and leaving them in random places for anyone to find, being extra patient with the stressed cashiers in busy stores, holding your tongue when you feel like lashing out at someone, trying hard to understand someone else’s situation that you never experienced for yourself, the opportunities are infinite.

image

Sometimes I think of all the ways I may have been helped by some kind stranger through the years, never even knowing it, never saying thank you because I never had the chance. All the puddles I never sat in on busses because someone dried them before I had a chance to sit in them, all the gum that never got stuck in my long hair on public seats somewhere because someone cared to remove it before someone’s hair or clothes got destroyed, the objects that were removed out of aisles of stores, off of pavements, and out of streets before I tripped over them not paying attention, I think of the houses and stores that never got broken into, the people who never got snatched off the streets because someone cared enough to call the police and scare the person away/catch the suspicious person.

I remember one day I was texting while crossing a bus terminal to get onto a bus and stepped in front of another bus, speeding at me, not paying attention. It was more than just a “close call.” I was nearly hit. And so was one of the men who saved me. The bus driver hit the horn but couldn’t stop fast enough. And it was speeding fast. Two men yelled and risked their own lives to save mine. Men I never saw before that day and never saw again. They did not know each other or me. They saw it turn and coming my way when I did not. They both jumped out into the street, one pulling me, the other pushing me. The one actually put his body in front of the bus to push me out of the way, almost falling on top of me to get us both out of the way. If they weren’t at the bus stop that day I probably wouldn’t be here today. Or I would be physically damaged. They did not know who I am but they know that I’m someone. They never knew my name, my values or opinions, my story, my personality, my interests or anything about me other than the fact that I exist. But they clearly valued my life that moment as much as their own, disregarding anything else about me.

Because of that I never look at my phone or anything while crossing a street. Ever. Not once since that day a few years ago, have I even briefly glanced at my phone while crossing even small streets with no traffic. Even when I’m really into something on my phone when I get to a street I act like the phone doesn’t exist. I honor their heroic act.

image

While I felt immense gratitude I was mortified. It was so stupid to be texting while crossing a busy street/bus terminal. I put not only myself in danger but others. On the bus that day it’s all people could talk about, how lucky I was, how close it was to a tragedy…Luckily no one said out loud how stupid I was. I couldn’t get off that bus fast enough.

image

(this is the bus stop But on a different day lol! I was looking for a pretty picture to put here and coincidentally this is one of the first to show up on my phone which is broke so all my pics aren’t showing up…)

But if I wasn’t texting that day crossing into the street, I would still be doing stuff like that days after that and maybe another day I wouldn’t have been so lucky to have two Earth angels so close to me. So they saved my life that day and possibly days after. I think of all the days I wasn’t hit by a bus because two heroic men taught me a great lesson. Texting while crossing or driving is a dumb thing to do. It’s dangerous. It’s deadly. To the one texting and the ones around that person.

There are so many blessings we don’t even realize we are living or have lived because they’re the things that go unnoticed when they are done by someone but their absence would be noticed if they weren’t done by someone.

We can give thanks to and for all the Earth angels and heroes out there and those no longer with us by paying it forward. Always being the one to leave the world a little better than we found it. By loving out loud.

Xoxo Kim


Follow Your Own Way

image

I recently read a very old and very short fictional story called “Young Goodman Brown” about a young man who initially has faith in the basic, universal goodness of humanity.   But things occur in the story to shake his faith. It falters then collapses and he’s convinced there isn’t much goodness in humans. 

This story, if I understand correctly, is inspired by the author’s real life situations.

I have been analyzing it and reading an analysis of it. It reminds me of a few quotes that are somewhere along the lines of “Be kind to people in general, even unkind ones, not because they’re kind but because you are.”

This quote implies kindness as a way of life and not a mere occasional act or feeling in response to environmental situations. Even when people are not kind, YOU still are. You can let your kind Way and your kind philosophy waver and lash out in unkindness or you can keep it firm and grounded and stay true to yourself even in the face of other people’s bitterness.

If you are a kind person, it’s easy to be loving, kind, compassionate…when it’s convenient, when you’re currently surrounded by goodness, beauty, sweetness, kindness, love. 

But what about when you are currently surrounded by someone else’s bitterness, what about when you encounter a rude person or a very unpleasant situation?   It can be so tempting to let our own kind, loving, compassionate, optimistic ways crumble.  And that doesn’t make someone a bad person.  Most of us probably have relapses and setbacks and it is natural to be defensive in situations where you feel threatened in some way.  But even in the midst of stress, chaos, rude people, negativity, pain, you’re still that kind, loving, caring you that you generally are. You’re still the you who believes in goodness, kindness, and love. Don’t forget you. Be true to and honor the you that you are.

You can build yourself so strong nothing will break what you are, nothing will bring your life philosophy, your morals and virtues, your principles, your deep wisdom to destruction. This isn’t to say we should be closed minded and restrained by our views that nothing and no one can enlighten us, educate us, or persuade us to a different view if we find evidence that that view may be true or better for us.   It’s to say that we don’t have to lose faith that people are basically good just because of an encounter with a few bad ones, we don’t have to resort to unkindness and bitterness because others are, we don’t have to stop loving because we find someone doesn’t love us in return, we don’t have to wish bad things for people because they wish bad things for us, we don’t have to let pain, horror, negativity, fear, depression, fury…bring our deep wisdom to ruin. We don’t have to let painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions convince us that life is bad.

We can have a firm sense of who we are and honor that someone, always. We can change, grow, expand, evolve in various ways but stay true to who we are.

This story and thoughts and concept helps me so much when I’m depressed or becoming depressed/suicidal.

I haven’t been real depressed for a while but a few nights ago I felt myself kind of slipping. I was in a depressed mood, not yet a full blown depressive episode but a very low, depressed mood and couldn’t sleep right. Through the years of my depressive illness I learned how to often, though not always, prevent a full blown episode when I feel it about to hit. And when I’m not successful in preventing it, I’m often better now, at coping with and “breezing right through it” than I could years ago.  So I was trying so hard not to let it get me.

I can often tell when I’m about to become suicidal or when suicidal thinking is about to occur.   A few nights ago, I was having suicidal thoughts that felt as if they were just getting stronger and stronger, not urges, not contemplation but if it got out of hand, it could have been headed that way.  There was no event that was currently happening to me to trigger this. I was on the verge of faltering.  Serious suicidal contemplation hasn’t happened for me in well over a year now. And I did not then and do not now want a relapse after all my hard work to prevent that sort of thinking/urges. But it takes a lot of energy to ward off those thoughts, feelings, emotions when I feel them swirling around in my head. A lot of energy and strength. I was angry, depressed and wanted to let myself sink and slip into that dark place I once lived, so long.

But I thought of my Way. My own Way. My own life philosophy that life is beautiful and hope can be restored.   There’s so much to live for. Even through the pain, life is a blessing. Gratitude saves my life sometimes. When I’m so drained and ready to cave, I think of all I have. All that I am.  It took a lot of practice to get my life philosophy so ingrained into me that it helps me fend off suicidal/depressive attacks. But I have accomplished so much with it.

It takes practice and work to build yourself so strong that even in the face of misery and seemingly unbearable pain and even being dragged into other people’s negativity,you remain true to yourself. Your deep, authentic self who knows true wisdom and your own Truth.

I hope you will choose to honor you, your true deep self, when you feel yourself slipping in any way, about to cave and give into negative actions. This isn’t only for depressed people who have what I have but even people without depression. Almost everyone has some kind of struggles or pain and can use some loving inspiration now and again.

image

“Love is always bestowed as a gift – freely, willingly and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved;we love to love.” ~ Leo Buscaglia 

Xoxo Kim 😀

My Inner Springtime

image

I have been working on this for days! And here it is!! 😀

http://www.positivelypresent.com/2014/03/inner-spring.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+PositivelyPresent+(positively+present)

Positively Present(the link above), by Dani Dipirro, is a lovely little place on the net with an abundance of positivity and inspiration to bask in. I subscribed to her e-mail updates a while ago. She came up with a wonderful idea to create an inner Springtime.   You know how Spring is the rebirth of your world around you after what may seem like a long, cold, barren Winter? It can also be metaphorical for rebirth and inner growth, as you may already know.   I love Winter and every season. They all have their own unique beauty and blessings that the other three do not.   And I am blessed to live in a place with four beautiful seasons.  But the Winter cold can be painful and it’s hard to stay out long in that. To me, it often seems urgent like I have to hurry out of the cold after a while. It’s hard to walk and take photos in that weather while shaking in the frigid Winter air. I know many people just don’t like the gray.   And the Winter lack and the light can have a biochemical effect on the brain chemistry of people, contributing to depression or just a low mood.   I wouldn’t give up beautiful Winter for anything though! I like the cold, the gray, the bare branches on trees…

Every year I warmly welcome Winter

But

I also love when Winter melts into Spring and each year I am very ready for Spring as Winter is coming to a close. The sunlight, the warm lingering daylight, the blossoming green and scented flowers…. Dani Dipirro shares her list on her website for how to create our own little Spring no matter what it’s like out there. What a wonderful idea!

I decided to write my own list, trying not to steal any of her exact ideas! Lol   She has amazing ideas on her list! Be sure to check them out! Some of her ideas are: create a gratitude list, re-read a book, watch a Spring themed movie, play with a dog, cat, or child….

She inspires me so much, so frequently! 

Again, here’s her post with her list!

http://www.positivelypresent.com/2014/03/inner-spring.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+PositivelyPresent+(positively+present

So here’s mine!

1.) Try to think back to a song you once loved and listened to often then forgot all about it. 
Download the song and listen. Feel the emotions and memories come flooding back. If you need help remembering your song, think of different ages or stages, years, seasons that have come and gone. Think of old music bands you haven’t heard any songs by in a long while.  Can you remember any long lost songs? 
One of my favorite feelings in the world is rediscovering a beautiful song I haven’t heard in years!

Check this out:
http://www.bobborst.com/popculture/top-100-songs-of-the-year/?year=1964

It has a tab with a long list of years and you can choose a year and then read a list of top songs for that year!

image

2.) Try to find a quote you haven’t heard of before. A quote about a topic close to your heart. Maybe a quote about hope and healing, love, gratitude, being and staying motivated? You can search for a quote book or just look online for lists of inspirational quotes.

Here, you will find a wellspring of quotes and inspiration: 
http:www.joyprogram.com

image

3.) Maybe a little redecorating! Or Spring cleaning!   This will be a good one for me since I tend to get my room cluttered with books and clothes.   Set out things that make you happy, maybe Spring themed things like flowers, pastel colors, bunnies….

4.) Light a beautiful candle with a light fragrance if you aren’t allergic or have breathing difficulties.   Lavender, citrus, cotton or linen, cherry….MmmmMmm!!
Different fragrances are believed to be great for different things.   Lavender is good for depression and sleep disorders, anxiety and fear. Vanilla is good for stress, Lemon is good for sadness and grief, Clary Sage is good for fatigue……certain scents are just uplifting and can inspire a good mood!  
 Open your window, let your curtains blow in the gentle breeze and invite the promise of Spring into your heart. 
And check this out for aromatherapy mood blends:
http://www.aromatherapy.com/mood_blends.html

image

5.) Do some random act of kindness for someone anonymously.   Maybe you know someone in need of some cheering up. Send an anonymous card or flowers, help pay for something…

6.) Pay someone a genuine and sweet compliment either in person or online.

7.) do an arts and craft project. My favorite is to write a quote or song lyrics and decorate it!

8.) Buy or download a book you are interested in and never read yet.

9.) Girls and men and anyone else who love/s to wear makeup and/or new hairstyles, try a new hairstyle/color or makeup look that you have been afraid to try, if that’s the kind of thing you’re interested in. I love makeup and hair and for makeup, I like trying different eyeshadow colors and stuff but my hair is always the same.   Either put up in hair ties or long and flowing around my waist. I never care to change the color or length/general style.  Some people do want to but need a little push. It can be scary thinking about changing a part of ourselves, even something like just a hair style/color which can be reversed and isn’t really a serious life decision.   Anyone contemplating any change, big or small, permanent or not can use some encouragement/support. But it’s ultimately up to you.

10.) Search for a new park or cafe or bookstore. It doesn’t actually have to be new. Maybe new to you or one you haven’t been to in a while.

11.) Step outside your comfort zone. Maybe read a kind of book you don’t usually read. Do an activity you probably won’t be good at. Try a new style of clothing, try food you never tried, try to learn a few phrases in a language you don’t know to speak good in, do something you feel way too shy to do, push yourself, I find that this opens me and I become less shy and more open to even more ideas….

12.) Live in the present moment. Here and now. For an entire day or part of a day, forget about later. Forget about tomorrow and what you “have” to do. Be grateful for THIS moment. Bask in the beauty of your life. Maybe you can mindfully watch a movie, eat something while savoring every taste, texture, sensation…, doing a mindfulness, walking meditation 

image

13.) Reminisce about things long gone. Remember beautiful things, places, people, pets….you once knew.   Feel the beauty of love they fill/ed in you, feel the sting of loss, the sweet sadness of nostalgia….it’s bittersweet.

14.) Create a long list of all the reasons your life is amazing right now.   No matter what you want and don’t yet or will never have. Focus on the current goodness.

15.) Share a quote you love with someone. Anyone.

16.) Write a positive, uplifting, or thought-provoking message that can apply to people in general. You can sign your first name, nick name or not sign it and have more mystery.  Fold up the paper and leave it somewhere for a random person to find. On a seat in a restaurant or bus or train.   On a park bench, on a random house step(hopefully you don’t get flagged for littering! Lol you can tell them it’s my fault, I will take the responsibility lmao), on a shelf in a store, in the pages of a book in a used book store. It may seem kind of creepy but it may be just what someone needs to read. It can brighten someone’s day! It can be a quote or any short but sweet, positive, little message!

17.) Do something by yourself that you don’t usually do alone. A movie theatre, restaurant, buy yourself flowers…Love your own company! 
I often had trouble with this because I suffer with depression and there were some years where I had no true friends and was frequently, physically alone like in college some years , during the breaks in the middle of the day. While I love my own company and have fun alone and with people, even when I had true friends, being alone outside would make me depressed and sad sometimes and excruciatingly lonely.   But it’s amazing to learn to love and cherish your moments you have alone. You don’t always need people around to have fun and not be lonely. 

18.) Make a long list of things you like about you, physically or not. You may not consciously know you have things you like about yourself but look at you. Look within and look at your body. Maybe you’ll discover new things you like that you never realized. Think of your opinions, your compassion, your kindness, your eyes, your heart, your uniqueness,  Try not to think in terms of better or worse and just focus on what is.   Like how someone else has it better or that yours can be worse. Look at you currently and love you!  Also try not to think of it as being conceited. Self love is great! It may seem unnatural first but you’ll get the hang of it! 😀

19.) think of a habit you would like to develop and begin it now or tonight. Maybe you want to start going to sleep earlier, putting healthier food into your body instead of junk, take one hour or more a day just for you, learn about a new topic, exercise regularly…

20.) adopt a dog, cat, bunny, or whatever fur/feather/reptile… baby you want!

21.) Step outside and wonder at the incredible beauty and greatness that Nature is. And look at the incredible, beautiful structure of buildings.   Look at the veins in the leaves. Go weak at the knees at the astounding gift of life. Look at the sky and marvel at the colors, designs, textures, everything….tap into full awareness of your senses. Don’t just look and know. Feel. Feel at a deeper level. Fall into the depths of mindfulness and beauty. Come alive.

22.) do some stretches that are safe for you. You can find many tips and steps on YouTube. 

23.) Remember not to be jealous of or depressed over anyone else’s beauty or success.  You, too, have gifts and accomplishments.    There will always be those with more and those with less. And that’s ok.  Celebrate their fortunes as well as your own.

24.) try a guided imagery meditation.   I took a counseling class in college for meditation and used to do stuff like this in therapy some years ago.
Here’s one for pain byMagical Meditations:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rPtsVkfTEWY

This is the mobile link. It’s complicated to get the desktop link on my phone and it messes things up. I hope you can find it on your computer if you’re interested! 
I love this. It’s for physical and emotional pain. You can find ones on YouTube for pain, sleep, relaxation, gratitude, and more!

I love when the person guiding the meditation has a different accent than me. Lol

25.) search for an old/classic novel or play if you’re into reading and download it for free! They’re no longer copyrighted so you can find them free and legally online. Usually in text or pdf version!
Over 40,000 free ebooks here!!

http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/32707?msg=welcome_stranger

26.) find an obscure poem, drawing, painting, or something of that sort and try different ways of interpreting it! Or think of an opinion you have on something and try to imagine having a different or opposing view on it.   What must that be like? You don’t have to change your views but it’s fun imagining and also can teach us to develop deeper compassion and empathy.

27.) create a life philosophy if you don’t already have one! I can’t stress enough how much this has helped me heal and to be a better being than I have ever been. I haven’t written my entire life philosophy out yet, just parts of it. But I will write more. A life philosophy will help guide you on your life journey.   It can grow, expand, and change as you do, please don’t let it restrain you. It doesn’t have to be written in stone but write it in your heart. Make it strong and firm enough to hold you, guide you, and ground you when you falter and fall. Don’t let it imprison you but let it guide you. If you ever find that you outgrow your life philosophy, let your life philosophy grow right along with you.  
My basic life philosophy is to make certain thoughts, feelings, and concepts my general way of life as opposed to just feeling them occasionally or only when I feel like it or when it’s most easy and convenient for me.   It is designed by me to help me be the best me I can be for myself and everyone I impact in any way, not to be a perfectionist but to be better in ways that matter most.
Not to tell people what is best for them ever but to be sure my words and actions are always for the better and never to intentionally or thoughtlessly hurt, destroy, or drag people down.
  I choose to make kindness, love, gratitude, hope, and compassion my way of life. Even when it hurts. Even when people do me wrong. Even  when people are not kind and compassionate for me and others, even when they don’t appreciate my gratitude for them and return it. I choose to remind myself over and over how beautiful life itself is even when it hurts. I choose to never give up.   Not give up on life or myself.   All of these thoughts, feelings, and beliefs often come to us and are easy now and then but it’s so easy to crumble and give up on them sometimes. A life philosophy, to be effective to the fullest must be practiced and maintained every single day.   Like I said before sometimes I am so tempted to give up on it and it goes out the Window when I’m in serious pain but it’s ingrained in me enough so I always find my way back to it soon enough. Find quotes, songs, writings, blogs, books, people, memories….to confirm and help you nurture your life philosophy.  Meditate upon it. Write about it in blogs or journals. Apply it to your real life experiences.  
My physical pain disorder and my depressive disorder helped me strengthen and deepen my own life philosophy by testing me.
Just like a muscle when it’s exercised, it gets stronger. My life philosophy deepens with experience, both pleasant and unpleasant. 
This can help you so so much to be happier, stronger, comforted, and have your life more organized. 
Write down the basic tenets of your life philosophy today.
 I came across this idea because I attended college for Philosophy and graduated with the B.A. In it.   So many people say Philosophy is useless and no point in taking it in college. But I took it just for fun and it is not useless or just for academic purposes.    It can help us think more clearly and develop better reasoning abilities.   There are even self-help/personal development Philosophy books designed to help us apply philosophical concepts to our own lives.  Anyway you don’t have to know anything at all about the academic field of Philosophy or go to college to develop your life philosophy or even necessarily read a self-help book.   They can all be supplements.  And you can learn so much about philosophers and their philosophies online. Much of it is old and not copyrighted. 
We even have our own ten commandments! The Ten Commandments of Philosophy!
Check it out:

https://sites.google.com/site/degatzia/thetencommandmentsofphilosophy

But really, all you have to do is think of qualities you would love to have or strengthen in yourself.   Think of qualities you adore in other people, think of thoughts that help you. What are your values? Virtues? Principles? Strong beliefs? Think them through and put them together to develop the basic foundation of your own life philosophy.   As I have said though, it’s ok to change it when/if your core beliefs and values change but it’s good not to let depression, fear, pain, negativity change it in a negative way like make you decide to kick it to the curb for good or for too long. After it becomes your Way and is deeply ingrained in you, it will be much easier to live by.

I hope you will begin to develop your basic life philosophy today. You can add to it everyday.   It may always be a work in progress, not a complete destination.  Just like you yourself.   And that’s for the best. We’re always learning, evolving, becoming and it’s interesting that way!

Here’s an idea for a life handbook:

http://personalexcellence.co/blog/create-your-life-handbook/

Also, here’s a list of Philosophy texts online :
http://onlinebooks.library.upenn.edu/webbin/book/subjectstart?B

And for your amusement :

Unsolvable problems in philosophy/unanswerable questions 

http://io9.com/5945801/8-philosophical-questions-that-well-never-solve

http://a-misconception.blogspot.com/2010/09/list-of-unsolved-philosophy-problems.html?m=1

http://pespmc1.vub.ac.be/ETERQUES.html

And here you have free access to an online textbook “Introduction to Philosophy.”

http://www.qcc.cuny.edu/SocialSciences/pPecorino/INTRO_TEXT/default.htm

28.) Do you want to be wildly entertained and put your intellectual skills to use?!  And also be pulling out your hair?! You’re in luck!   Check out these fascinating legal puzzlers!! They will blow your mind. And seriously, they have no definite conclusions! You may think you have it all figured out but there’s always more thoughts and conclusions out there, it is tantalizing! And I wouldn’t have it any other way! ;-D In college, Temple University,  in my philosophy of law class, we were introduced to some of these!

http://people.brandeis.edu/~teuber/puzz1.html

image

Don’t Let the Chain of Love End With You <3

image

A few months ago I discovered an incredible country song! I love country music; ever since I was a little girl it has been one of my favorite kinds of music.   I don’t come across too many people who love it like I do! In fact, most people I come in contact with either on or offline who mention country music, have a strong distaste for it. But, country will always have my heart!  

Country music is known by many for being depressing, sad, full of tragedy like alcoholism, spurned/broken love, and all kinds of other heartbreak. But there are also many, many uplifting, beautiful, happy, hopeful country songs with breathtakingly beautiful messages like this one I found not so long ago called “The Chain of Love” by Clay Walker. It’s a love song. But not a romantic love song. It’s about loving people in general and helping strangers every chance we get, asking for nothing in return except that the person we help then goes on to help another in need.

”
She said how much do I owe you

Here’s what he had to say:
‘You don’t owe me a thing, I’ve been there too
Someone once helped me out,
Just the way I’m helping you
If you really want to pay me back,
Here’s what you do
Don’t let the chain of love end with you'” 

The song gives me chills every single occasion that I listen to it! The message is simply incredible. When I first listened to it and heard the end, I gasped out loud! Lol! ;-D

image

You may not like country music but there’s no doubt you’ll love the lovely message!  
Read the lyrics here:
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/claywalker/thechainoflove.html
I did not read the lyrics before listening to the song on you tube and I liked it better that way. I read the title and decided to look it up and listen to it. You just can’t go wrong with a song that has “Love” in the title! 😀

At one point or another, we can all use a little help. And there are so many ways, big & small, to help others. One simple little act of kindness can have a great impact on others. I even read somewhere that acts of kindness not only greatly and positively affect the person receiving and the person offering the kind act but also has an amazing positive, uplifting effect on those witnessing the act of kindness!  I have seen random acts of kindness that I was not directly involved in and it made my day! How beautiful!
Here’s a link about witnessing acts of kindness happening to others:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/out-the-darkness/201311/elation-the-amazing-effect-witnessing-acts-kindness-0
And here’s another link about kindness:
http://apps.cignabehavioral.com/web/basicsite/bulletinBoard/effectsOfHumanKindness.jsp

And here’s a sweet little story of a perfect example of a random act of kindness:
A girl wrote on Facebook about how her husband was in a store buying coffee and the person in line before him turned around and offered to pay for his coffee. He was so touched he turned around to pay for the drink for the person in back of him but there was no one. He went home and told his wife. So the next day when she went to that store to buy coffee, she also paid for the person in back of her to keep the chain of love going!  
I absolutely love, LOVE stuff like this.
I witnessed this for myself too. One day a lady I know came to the store where I work and paid for every person in back of her! There were about six people! And she even gave me a tip and extra money to pay for the next couple of people who were to come. So sweet!
I have also witnessed many other beautiful acts of kindness and it’s amazing to experience. 

image

I don’t post this because I think the world is so horrible and people are so cold that any little act of kindness is super, super shocking. I just think it’s great to focus on the kindness we experience and witness and share stories we know of. 
Someone shared a sweet story on Facebook & Twitter a while ago about a young family who spent over 100 dollars on baby stuff at wal -mart and when they were in line their credit card wouldn’t work and the young mom was almost in tears so the person in back of them bought them everything.The cashier and the mom cried together because they were so touched.   The story received a few unpleasant comments that I read by people saying things like the people who were so touched by this must be cynics thinking everyone is just out for themselves so when a selfless person comes along and helps out, they can’t believe it. They said it’s not rare for people to help others and people should be more optimistic.  
But no matter how rare or common it is for strangers and other people to help one another, it’s still great to bask in the beauty of it and share. Kindness is not rare. I believe most people are kind to some degree, some much more than others.  But it’s still good to focus on it and not take it for granted. There is a lot of pain and negativity in the world. And some acts of kindness are rare. Like, most people probably don’t pay for the six people or even the one person in back if them in line at a store. And I’m almost sure most people aren’t going to chalk up $100.00 dollars for a stranger. But whether or not most people would, it’s still great to be grateful for it! Even common goods are great!

image

In case you want to see the YouTube video for the song, “The Chain of Love,” here you have it!

Mobile :

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0_9HdZwf60U&app=m

Desktop:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_9HdZwf60U&app=desktop

I never seen this video when I first heard the song. I just discovered it. It’s beautiful and makes the whole listening experience even better.

Xoxo Kim

P.s. Remember, don’t let the chain of love end with you.

Quiet Strength & Confidence

image

“Deep roots are not reached by the frost.”
J.R.R. Tolkien

A few days ago I wrote a blog post but never got around to posting it. It’s about how inner strength & self confidence aren’t always “loud” or “outright bold.”   It can be but isn’t always.   Not all strong, confident people are outgoing and not all of them speak up over every unpleasant incident. Sometimes strength is letting trivial things slide.   Sometimes strength is kindness and forgiveness and gentleness. Not all strong, confident people come off that way. Some people have more of a quiet strength and confidence about them and it’s no less of a strength or confidence.
Today I was looking up some quotes that are relevant to my post that I was going to post today and I found this!:

“You’re going to meet many people with domineering personalities: the loud, the obnoxious, those that noisily stake their claims in your territory and everywhere else they set foot on. This is the blueprint of a predator. Predators prey on gentleness, peace, calmness, sweetness and any positivity that they sniff out as weakness. Anything that is happy and at peace they mistake for weakness. It’s not your job to change these people, but it’s your job to show them that your peace and gentleness do not equate to weakness. I have always appeared to be fragile and delicate but the thing is, I am not fragile and I am not delicate. I am very gentle but I can show you that the gentle also possess a poison. I compare myself to silk. People mistake silk to be weak but a silk handkerchief can protect the wearer from a gunshot. There are many people who will want to befriend you if you fit the description of what they think is weak; predators want to have friends that they can dominate over because that makes them feel strong and important. The truth is that predators have no strength and no courage. It is you who are strong, and it is you who has courage. I have lost many a friend over the fact that when they attempt to rip me, they can’t. They accuse me of being deceiving; I am not deceiving, I am just made of silk. It is they who are stupid and wrongly take gentleness and fairness for weakness. There are many more predators in this world, so I want you to be made of silk. You are silk.”
C. JoyBell C.

image

I couldn’t believe it because it’s so similar to my original post, in concept and in choice of words! It’s amazing. It’s uncanny! I have never read this before. Until now.  So I decided to revise my original post and share the above quote, which says it better than I originally did! 😉
In the summer I wrote about an incident I had at work with people being liars, backstabbers, and not caring about anyone but themselves, betraying and causing unnecessary trouble for me. I wrote about how I handled it and provided a list of of positive suggestions for how to cope with betrayal and other people’s negativity.  
My problem in the Summer cleared up but recently the same people have been being shady and sneaky again. I’m very trusting and forgiving in general and after the summer I wasn’t expecting this.

But I am not taking it personally. I know that when people take advantage of me and do/say things to me because they think they can get away with it because I’m quiet, it says more about them than it says about me.

When people take advantage of quiet, gentle, shy people, often, just because they think they can it shows who they are, not who the quiet person is.

For my whole life I have generally been a quiet, shy girl and I open up when I’m around people more often. And I have Often helped people over and over, even people who take advantage, until it seems there’s nothing left of me or for me. I have said “Yes” to others and “no” to myself so much it wore me out.  

There were days when my self esteem was low and I did not speak up for myself because I felt I deserved the mistreatment or I was afraid of what people would think of me. But many days that I don’t speak up, it’s not that but the fact that I’m a simple girl and don’t like to blow things out of proportion or have chaos where there doesn’t have to be any.

It’s not an indication that I’m weak or scared or a “pushover” like some people think. My mom often says I let people get over on me. And while that has been true in some cases, it’s most often not true now. No matter what I do or don’t do or say or don’t say and no matter what it looks like on the outside to others, if in my head I’m still at peace, still calm, still know my worth, still know they have the problem, not me, then no one got over on me.

But some things are not better left unsaid or forgotten. Some things really should be brought up and some people need to be confronted about certain issues in a calm, civil manner. So that’s what I did recently. I confronted one of the people forever dragging on and starting the nonsense.  I was friendly about it. I’m in no mood to make things worse for everyone or to be angry more than necessary.

These people are often very unreasonable, selfish, sneaky, and just negative and caring about absolutely no one but themselves.   They live and breathe the victim mentality and act as if they are more important than everyone else. So confronting them usually does nothing more than show that I speak up for myself.   Or they say that I am the wrong one for speaking up and not dropping it. When a person speaks up often no one thinks much of it but when someone who is typically quiet speaks up, it stands out and some people claim that the person is wrong and dragging something out or turning into a “bitch.”

But even when speaking up to someone gets me just about nowhere with the people,
At least I don’t let them get away with it without saying something.   I show me that I will speak up when necessary.

People suggested I get revenge on them. But I don’t get even. I get even more FABULOUS. I forgive and move forward and wish them the best.   

Shyness, quietness, extreme kindness, generosity, helpfulness, forgiveness, warmth, gentleness, letting trivial things go…are not necessarily weaknesses. In fact, some of those qualities can be great strengths.  

I help people because I want to, not because I’m fearful of saying no for some reason. I forgive because it’s better for all of us. I let frivolous issues slide because often I just really don’t care and sometimes I know just letting it go is better for everyone.  

Shyness, quietness, extreme kindness, and simplicity are a combination that looks, on the outside, as if someone is a pushover or not strong or confident. But I believe it’s what’s on the inside that matters.

“We may get knocked down on the outside, but the key to living in victory is to learn how to get up on the inside.”
Joel Osteen

I don’t generally let people disturb my inner peace. I don’t feel like they are getting over on me. So I’m still confident and strong. 

Along with my shyness and quietness and kindness, I’m also very simple. But in a good way. Lol. I’m easy going. So many things that get others fuming don’t even faze me.

Kindness and generosity and helping others can be used how we choose. We can choose to make it a weakness by taking it to the extreme until we are so worn out or we can choose a healthy balance of it. Helping others and being very kind but still being dedicated to self-care and saying “YES!” to ourselves enough.

I have struggled hard with where to draw the line with helping people who ask excessively and are sneaky and shady, causing trouble and confusion for me.

I want to help them still. I know they are people with desires and needs but I also know it’s not good to wear myself out to do so much for people who take advantage and intentionally cause trouble. And the more I help, the more they’ll ask and think they can get away with anything they want.  I have been struggling to determine when excessive kindness actually becomes a weakness. Predators treat us how we let them. When they see we constantly say “yes, yes, yes, and YES!” over and over to them even after they cause trouble, it reinforces their decision to keep asking for more, more, more…..and to keep causing the trouble.

In the summer I decided to help out and give still, to the people who did me wrong but mostly only when it doesn’t put me out too much and exhaust me and let them get away with way too much. But I went back to my old ways of giving and helping excessively to the point it wasn’t good for me. I like the people who do this to me and I want to help. I don’t think they’re bad people but they sure have very bad habits!  

But so do I, just different bad habits. And bad habits CAN be un-learned and replaced with healthy habits.

And then they pulled this again. So I decided to develop the habit of saying “Yes” to me more often and “no” to the predators and actually stick with it now.

Another thing I have struggled with before when people would take advantage of my quietness and kindness is feeling low about myself instead of realizing it’s their problem and not something fundamentally or intrinsically wrong with me.  

I have had thoughts like “If I were better she wouldn’t have done that to me….” and “Since she said that to me, there must really be something wrong with me…” and “A better person would not have had this done or said to her…”  “if only I were perfect….or loud…or outgoing….””Since she doesn’t like me, there really must be something wrong with me…”

But none of that’s true. No matter how great, beautiful, strong, amazing, kind, confident …someone is, certain people will say/do bad things to that person if they feel they can “get away with it” or if they are jealous of the person.

Through the years I have strengthened my confidence, my self esteem, and self love, and my own life philosophy.   I know what people do shows something about them, not me. Unless that person has helpful suggestions or constructive criticism for me to help me better myself, I can take what they say/do with a grain of salt and leave it at that.

But sometimes I still feel my confidence faltering. But I catch it before it gets worse. I remind myself that what people say/do to me, when it’s uncalled for, is their issue, not mine. That’s not to say I’m never wrong and never deserve criticism and that everyone who criticizes me is definitely wrong.   But when they are wrong and intentionally trying to cause trouble or just being excessively selfish not caring about anyone else, it’s them who are wrong.

So, remember if you’re quiet and shy and very kind and generous, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re weak.  You can use and view your qualities as strengths.

There’s nothing wrong with being shy or outgoing or quiet or outspoken or loud, being bold or having a more quiet, gentle kind of strength.   There’s nothing wrong with being very kind and helpful and selfless and there’s nothing wrong with being selfish to a certain extent and practicing a healthy dose of self-care.   Quiet doesn’t automatically mean weak and loud doesn’t automatically mean obnoxious or “bitchy.” We are all different and all are ok. It’s just that it’s not good to take advantage of anyone just because we think we can. We should all embrace our own unique qualities and traits while also embracing and building up other people’s.

Thank You so much for reading and if you have any thoughts to share, I would love to know.   
When do you think kindness becomes a “weakness” or is it never a “weakness?” Do you view helping predatory people less as a form of revenge or merely as self respect? Do you have any other thoughts on this topic? I would love to know! 😀

Xoxo Kim

My grown Up Christmas list

image

“Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies

Well I’m all grown-up now
And still need help somehow
I’m not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here’s my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need”

Macy’s collects letters to Santa written by people of all ages. For every letter they receive, it helps a sick child’s wish be granted. Isn’t that beautiful?! My sister and me wrote letters and put them in the Santa MailBox! We also watched the beautiful light show at Macy’s with my mom, dad, and all the others who showed up to watch.

image

It was so cute to see all the little kids writing their letters for Santa Claus and putting them in the mailbox. They were so happy and joyful. I wish all kids can have the opportunity to be so happy and carefree.

image

image

My Christmas list this year is for a world in need. I wish for 

1.) hope & healing for all those who are suffering. Humans & animals alike
2.) a warm and happy place to live for all homeless people and animals.
3.) love, acceptance, and tolerance instead of wars and unjust discrimination 
4.) More empathy & understanding for each other in this world
5.) a friend for everyone
6.) hope, strength,  & happiness for everyone
7.) for everyone to have the ability to see the good that exists in the world
8.) Unconditional love

image

I am deeply inspired by the Christmas song “My Grown Up Christmas List.”. It is a stunningly beautiful song with an incredible message.  I love Amy Grant’s version.  

“No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list”

Desktop video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmF2rsDHOZc
Mobile video:

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RmF2rsDHOZc&app=m

This is my lifelong wish, my grown up Christmas list, not for myself but for a world in need.

Much love & blessings to everyone. 😀

image

Xoxo Kim

image

image

Love prevails <3

image

” For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it.”
Ivan Panin .” I read this:

http://www.positivelypositive.com/2013/04/09/grateful-or-indebted-how-women-and-men-respond-to-kind-loving-gestures/

And it reminds me of a topic I have previously thought about: giving without any underlying agenda or expectations.

I receive many, many messages on Facebook. I keep my Facebook page public and add strangers when they seem kind and friendly or we have similar interests….

Many messages I receive are very sweet and friendly, others are creepy & perverted, much of it is spam messages, invitations for things, advertisements….

I don’t always check my inbox messages on Facebook & I NEVER delete any. Ever. And it seems that Facebook inbox messages never go away themselves so I have messages that I had since 2005 in my inbox. With thousands of Facebook friends, I get many notifications, some are just notifying me that people commented on someone ‘s picture or status that I previously commented on.

I don’t always go through every notification that pops up on my phone. Sometimes I check my phone and it says “77 notifications!”. I click the message and it goes away. So I tend to miss some messages that people comment to



me. When I see a sweet message written to me, I am likely to respond.   Sometimes I intend to respond later & forget that I never did, not trying to be rude or arrogant at all.

Anyway, every now & then I receive a rude/angry comment by someone who has written to me previously and I failed to respond.

This happened recently.  



I completely understand how people want someone to respond to them when they write a kind message to that person. I see nothing wrong with hoping for a response and even being disappointed if the person doesn’t write back.

But when someone writes a compliment to someone and doesn’t get a response back for the compliment and therefore gets angry at the person for not responding to the compliment & writes again demanding a response, in my opinion, it shows that the person who wrote the compliment wasn’t being completely selfless & maybe had an underlying expectation or agenda. If you’re being purely selfless & compliment a stranger you come across online, you may hope for a response but you likely won’t get furious and send rude follow up messages if you don’t get one.

When people do that, it’s as if they want appreciation for their appreciation and that’s really why they sent the compliment and not out of pure selflessness to compliment a person they like.  

Someone recently sent me a Facebook message and I opened it and it is by a person I don’t know angrily asking me to take him off my friends list. And saying I don’t care about him and what’s wrong with me and things like that. I was confused until I saw that he previously wrote me a message complimenting my body. It’s not a completely vulgar message like some I receive but it’s not a very sweet message either. But I guess he thought he was being kind. And I missed it.

This isn’t the first angry person who wrote to me thinking I intentionally ignored his compliment. He said he’s sorry he complimented me and regrets it. 

Some messages I saw many months after a person wrote to me and I responded very late and they even wrote rude messages back to me about me taking so long to respond. 

I don’t like offending people and if I ever do, it’s usually not intentional.  

But if he was genuinely complimenting me for me and not to get a sweet response in return, he probably wouldn’t be regretting writing to me. He may be sad, disappointed, maybe even devastated if he’s really sensitive or really likes me but I don’t think he would be sending angry messages to me for not writing back.

I have also seen comments like that on people’s blogs. When someone neglected to respond to a compliment, the person who complimented got angry then started slinging insults at the person for not writing back. 

I write comments to strangers a lot on blogs & Facebook.   Some are long & in depth, some are brief, most of them are compliments expressing appreciation & gratitude for the impact that the person has on people.

The more open someone is and the more receptive someone seems, the more likely I am to write to that person.

Many people respond to me & some never do. Some, I even see responding to others and not me. But I never regret complimenting that person and don’t wish to take back what I wrote. The fact that the person doesn’t respond to me won’t lessen the positive impact the person has on me or lessen my gratitude & appreciation for that person’s life.  I’m still blessed.

Not all people I like/love & appreciate have to appreciate or love me back. Not everyone will appreciate my appreciation. It’s ok. 

First of all, you can’t really know for sure why someone isn’t responding. There may be a chance the person missed your comment or had every intention to write back but never got around to it.  Or maybe the person really doesn’t appreciate your kindness or is actually being rude. I think that’s ok. It’s not pleasant but it happens. Even the kindest, sweetest person can be rude or uncaring sometimes.

I think it would be great for us all to try to be more selfless & do things for people, even strangers, with no expectations for something Tangible In return and no expectations or demands for a response or payback.

If you see a person online you genuinely appreciate, maybe a writer/blogger, or just a very sweet person how about taking the chance and complimenting the person without demanding a response? I’m very shy but not as shy as I used to be. I used to hardly ever even comment on people’s Facebook statuses because I was so shy. Now I’m often still shy to send e-mails & inbox messages to people I don’t know or don’t know well but I do write blog comments much more & public Facebook messages to people. Some days I’m more shy than others & some moments I get more courage. Lol

Someone on Facebook recently told me to “save my heart for someone who cares” but I decided against that. I’m not going to hold back. I’m going to give & love and give & love some more even if people don’t care. I’m going to love people, animals, life itself…. I’m going to love in general. Love is my way of being. My way of living.  Rejection, being ignored, being the target of cruelty or indifference, being ridiculed & abandoned hurts but it won’t stop me.  My love is stronger. 

Of course we want people we really like to like us back. It’s good to want people to like us and to be affected by others & the world around us. If we put up walls to keep people out and repress our desire to fit in with people, our relationships with other people & the world won’t be as deep.   Even unpleasant emotions and painful feelings are ok. We can accept them and move forward.

“Pure love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return.”~Peace Pilgrim

“True kindness lies within the act of giving without the expectation of something in return.”


Xoxo Kim

It takes one to know one

image

That phrase “It takes one to know one” is something I have heard since I was a little girl. When I would be out with my friends when we were little and we would get into trivial little arguments and call each other “little brats” or “traitors” or “chicken” kids would always yell back “It takes one to know one!” saying or implying that since we called someone “chicken” or “brat” or any childish insult, then we are one too.

I never understood this phrase.   “It takes one to know one.” How is that? If I know a murderer does that make me one? If I know a thief, am I necessarily a thief?  Or if I know a doctor, a social worker, or a lawyer, does that entail that I am one of those?

Even as an adult, for many years,  I just couldn’t grasp the phrase. But some months ago I began to understand and now today, I understand so much better than ever.

“It takes one to know one.” It’s not always true and doesn’t always have to be taken literally.   If I know a dog, that doesn’t make me a dog.

But, now in this phrase I once believed to be idiotic and nonsensical, I see so much wisdom and truth.

image

I was thinking about people who frequently only see the bad in someone or in humanity or the world at large and people who won’t appreciate the goodness in someone.

Have you ever been so good to someone or just good in general and certain people can’t see it or don’t want to or just don’t care to appreciate all of your beauty and light? Maybe they disregard it or only see what they deem as flaws.

But that’s not because of who you are; it’s how they are being. That’s the lense they are seeing through; it’s not your truth. 

If there’s no beauty in the way they see things or the way they are being, they likely won’t see your beauty no matter the vibrancy, degree, or depth of it.

Someone with a general bitter heart will usually only see bitterness, not softness or light. Someone who is generally unkind won’t often appreciate kindness. Someone who is frequently angry and unhappy and insulting will very rarely detect or appreciate beauty in someone and goodness and positive qualities.

Have you ever detected beauty and wisdom in something and think it’s amazing?   Or see incredible qualities in someone and think that person is beyond beautiful? That’s because there’s some beauty and wisdom in you, yourself to see that.

You are open to seeing positivity and allowing it to be revealed to you. 

You are receptive of it. 

It resonates with you because there is some of it in you. 

When you meet someone or know someone and think “S/he’s so amazing and beautiful” that shows that you also have a warm, receptive, attentive heart.

I frequently share inspirational messages of hope, light, beauty, strength, perseverance, and more on Facebook and on here. And I get the sweetest, kindest messages by people often complimenting me on my deep wisdom and positivity and uplifting messages.

I greatly appreciate each and every person and each and every sweet message. Some of these people don’t realize that they, themselves are very kind, wise, strong, and positive.   If they weren’t, it would be difficult to see it in others.

They see it in me and I see it in them.   Their wisdom mirrors my own.

image

If you love seeing/hearing about people helping others for nothing in return, if that’s something that tugs on your heartstrings, warms you up, that shows that it’s also in you to be kind and generous. Maybe you don’t help people much because you don’t see any opportunities around you or maybe you’re lazy or shy or reserved but it’s in you to be beautiful. 

Do you think someone who loathes people in general, someone who likes to watch others suffer, fall, or fail would be happy watching someone help people expecting nothing in return? Probably not.  

If you ever encounter someone who doesn’t appreciate the person you are, always remember, it’s not because you aren’t great and amazing and beautiful and lovely,  it’s because that person needs some work done on her/himself to better see the goodness & beauty in life and in people. 

image

And the next occasion you compliment someone or think about how incredible someone is, don’t forget to acknowledge and give thanks to your own loving heart. 

Xoxo Kim 

image

Raindrops Keep falling on my head

image

(my little man, Emmy. He’s nine months old!

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” – Mahatma Gandhi 

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” ~ John Michael Holmes

Hello lovelies,

I haven’t been doing much lately but laying in bed with my little dog and sharing inspirational quotes and pics on Facebook and reading old plays and books. I can’t put much serious thought into anything. 

I recently suffered a head injury and it’s really affecting me. I never got it checked out, professionally.   It doesn’t seem like an emergency and I have no way to pay for medical treatment.

I walked into a bar on my bed in the dark one early morning and I drifted unconscious for a few moments, I think.   It was a hard blow.   I.cant remember much about it.  The pain is getting worse and so is my.distorted thinking. And my.senses and memory are a bit hazy. It got hit on one side but the pain is now through my. Whole head. 

I’m also dizzy & confused off and on. And light-headed and my speech gets a bit slurred. My body feels sickly now and seems like I keep faltering to the right side which is the side that got hit.

But none of it is constantly unbearable. So that’s good! 😀

I’m so thankful it did not trigger my tmj pain condition. That tends to happen when my face or head gets hit/touched certain ways.

I still have to work.a.couple hours some.nights at the store but it’s sloww so it’s not too hard.

It feels like i.just want to lay in bed and sleep, it’s making me so exhausted and i.get over 12 hours of sleeep a lot now. It doesn’t help.

I have been thinking about loneliness and healing. I noticed sweet, simple memories help me.when I’m lonely. And I. Was thinking about the importance of living in the moment and creating new pleasant memories.

I have been having frequent flash backs just out of the blue, of things that happened previously. It’s sweet and pleasant to remember something happy that happened. 

I was also thinking of someee other things that help ease loneliness. 

1.) Helping people in any way, even simple ways like smiling at people, making eye contact, sharing inspiring quotes & pictures.
I often feel deeply connected with people and feel at One with all that is. I love this feeling.   But I also tend to feel lonely sometimes and it can get severe, a kind of choking loneliness that feels it will never go and it doesn’t matter how many people are near me. It’s like a barrier nothing can break through. But it always goes eventually. 

2.) Remember feelings come and go and can be delusional.   Just because we feel very lonely doesn’t mean we are really alone or that no one likes us or we really have no one. There’s always hope.

3.) certain songs and quotes 

4.) making plans for the future

5.) distractions, books, fun, healing activities, arts and crafts, writing

6.) if you’re physically alone and feeling lonely, use your physical alone-ness  to do interesting things you can’t do as well with people around,reflect, ponder certain questions, learn new skills,meditate, read something you always wanted to read,listen to music …instead of dwelling on your loneliness or unhappiness being physically alone. As much as I love being around people, I realize it’s also good to be alone now and then so I can catch up on stuff I  can’t do around people because it would be rude or they will disrupt me.

7.) reach out to people, write a message to someone you know or someone you meet online. Send someone a compliment or idea or feedback on a blog, fb status….

8.) pay close attention to your pets if you have them.

9.) Remember occasional loneliness is ok. And humans are social creatures.   Parts of us need contact with people, we need friends to fulfill us in certain ways.

10.) learn to love your own company, think positive thoughts about yourself, focus on your good qualities, laugh out loud, don’t deny yourself pleasure

11.) Remember not to put your happiness on hold for “better” things to occur. Live now.

12.) Smile. 😀

My phone has been acting up.   Soon I will be doing a master reset and lose all my files to see if that works and if not a new one is in order!

Luckily it’s insured!   ;-D

Smile, loves,it gets better!!

“Those raindrops are fallin’ on my head, they keep fallin’

So I just did me some talkin’ to the sun
And I said I didn’t like the way he got things done
Sleepin’ on the job
Those raindrops are fallin’ on my head, they keep fallin’

But there’s one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me won’t defeat me
It won’t be long till happiness steps up to greet me” ~ BJ Thomas

Xoxo Kim 😀

Every Storm Runs Out of Rain <3

image

(old picture of me I recently found taken on December 31, 1991, I was 5 years old

“I will keep a smile on my face and in my heart even when it hurts today.” ~Og Mandino

Two days ago in one of my posts I mentioned that I’m struggling with symptoms of depression.   I can feel an impending episode of severe depression about to hit. It’s starting out like all the others.  Sometimes I can prevent it if I really try hard before it pulls me in to the point of no return for weeks or months.

I can feel suicidal feelings and thoughts about to manifest. I don’t want this to get out of hand so I made a conscious decision yesterday afternoon to do all I can to try to keep it right where it is until it goes or to help lift it.  I am so tempted to give in and cave but I keep going. I feel as if I’m about to crumble but I’m staying strong.   It’s not easy. It’s extremely difficult.  

I can see things all around me that I find immense joy in when I’m not depressed. Crunchy & colorful Fall leaves, the beautiful sky and city lights, animals, people, the sounds all around, pumpkin Spice coffee & hot tea….

I see things I want to want, things I want to be interested in.

But I feel disconnected like I’m not taking full pleasure in it all. I am having memory & concentration problems. Forgetting the simplest things.  When an episode is coming on, my senses often become less sharp, things seem bland like There’s no flavor or rhythm in anything, I get furious off and on (I generally don’t have anger issues), I take every little thing too personally when any other day I wouldn’t even care about it, I have an extreme low feeling beyond a normal low mood, everything looks bleak and gray….stuff like this.

One thing that helps me immensely is quotes & positive writings.   I love, love, love quotes that inspire me and bring me a sense of consolation. I love to read them, meditate upon them, and share them with others.   Sharing is caring.

So I decided to compose a list here of comforting quotes of hope & strength to help me and anyone else who may need little reminders to stay strong & keep going. I also have my positive Playlist of songs I have been listening to.

Maybe I can’t pull myself out of this.  And it does feel like it will never end but I can do things to help myself and keep reminding me that it WILL end no matter how permanent it feels.

I want to give in but I know that’s not good.   It’s my responsibility to care for myself and do what I can to see it through. If I had a physical illness flaring up, I would do what I have to to manage, ease, and eliminate the symptoms and that’s exactly what I must do with this.

But with this it’s hard because depression saps energy, motivation, and kills the will to live while physical illness often strengthens the will to survive and motivates people to do whatever it takes to keep living and get strong and healthy. 

Sometimes it’s hard to believe I have depression as an illness and I just believe I’m just worthless and empty and that’s why I’m so depressed. But I often know now that I have a condition and I remind myself that. Last night it was really taking a whole lot of energy not to become suicidal.  It’s so hard.

As hard as it is though, I know I have the choice. The choice to keep going…

I’m very happy & inspired because I have been receiving sweet messages by people on Facebook and here expressing gratitude to me for sharing all the uplifting pics, quotes, words,& messages I share everyday. That’s so sweet and I’m thrilled to know I am able to touch lives for the better.  Social Media, when used positively, is so amazing for reaching people, even ones we don’t even know, all around the world.  Just one simple picture shared or one quote or word of encouragement can brighten someone’s day immensely.

This is another reason for me to hold on, so I can help others, share my stories/experiences, reach out to people in various ways, and inspire as deeply as I can in any way I can. I am very shy at first and don’t always reach out to people first but I am extremely open, even with strangers, when the opportunity comes up. I don’t mind telling my entire life story, good & bad, to someone I met two seconds ago. And I love to hear/read people’s experiences/stories good & bad. I have always been this way. My mom gets frustrated with me sometimes and yells sarcastically, “That’s it, just tell the world all my business!”. Lol and that’s just what I will do.

To me, there’s no such thing as “Too much info.” and people “airing out dirty laundry” is a good thing! ;-). As long as it’s meant to connect with, share with, express, bring awareness to, help & inspire and not merely meant to be a drama queen! Lol. 

I accept people and their mistakes and “flaws”. I may not agree with a view a person holds or with something someone has done but I will love the person just the same without negative judgment. I am in no position to judge like that. I am no better or worse than anyone, my life is no better or worse, my morals are no better or worse. I live & let live and I know that things people do that to me seem wrong or not good, usually say nothing of the character or goodness of that person.  The best, greatest people can slip, fall, make mistakes.   And all I want to do is provide empathy, unconditional love, compassion, acceptance, understanding, hugs, kindness, friendship, support, & encouragement.   Not destructive criticism, insults, negative judgments, guilt trips, grudges, or whatever.  I was never someone who is outright cold, callous, critical, cruel, and judgmental or a troll. I have always been loving & understanding but now I am even more that way than ever. I have judged people previously when I shouldn’t have, I said/wrote things merely  to annoy or anger when someone would make me angry. I have been arrogant.  I have been rude.  Sometimes I was somewhat vicious but not now. Sometimes I would disagree with someone’s political views and while the disagreement itself wouldn’t irk me, the specific argument would and I would respond unkindly.

 Now I only want to put more love out into the world. Believe what you will. Do what you feel is right for you. Stand up for what you believe in. Advocate.  Maybe I will disagree with you, maybe I will oppose your views and what you advocate for but I will never oppose YOU, the person and I will show respect for your decisions and how you feel whether or not I agree. Maybe it’s me who is wrong and not you, anyway. Maybe your “mistakes ” aren’t even mistakes, just things I disagree with.  I will see you as the whole that you are, the medley, the “miracle”, the beauty. I don’t see mistakes you have made, flaws you may have, things you do or have done or believe that I disagree with. I see you.  

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” ~ Ben Franklin 

image

Here are some quotes helping me tonight. And I hope they touch you in some way as well.

1.) Choose love. Choose to release all resentments.
Forgive everyone. Choose to release all regrets.
Forgive yourself for all decisions that you have ever made that didn’t work out as you hoped.
Forgive yourself for any financial decisions
that didn’t meet your expectations.
Release your regrets if you choose
the “wrong” spouse or the “wrong” career.
Today, choose love.
Choose to love yourself.
Choose to love your life.
Choose to love all the friends, family, co-workers,
acquaintances, and others who share your life.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

2.) Choose what lies in the shadows to be a matter
for discovery and adventure, rather than fear.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(This is a great concept. We can look at the unknown as an adventure and learning experience instead of fearing & dreading it and we can see difficulties as challenges to help us grow & strengthen us as opposed to seeing them as horrible afflictions and seeing ourselves as helpless victims)

3.) Choose to be as a young child –
fully awake, eager for the next experience.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

4.) Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary “rules” about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(yup, follow your own way)

5.) Choose Inner Peace.
Nothing is worth losing your inner peace.
Take action as circumstances require,
but never surrender your inner peace.
Stop. Breathe deeply.
Close your eyes and breathe deeply again.
Then, and only then, take action –
from a peaceful heart.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

6.) Affirmation:
Today I choose the higher road –
the path of charity, acceptance,
love, selflessness, kindness.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

7.) Live life with no regrets and no resentments.
Whatever happened in the past,
forgive yourself and others. Choose love.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

8.) It is nearly a certainty that some
of your expectations will not be met today -choose Joy anyway.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(beautiful! :-D) 

9.) Much in life can be seen as ugly or beautiful – it’s our choice.
Why would we choose to see any part of life as ugly?
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(yes, let’s choose to look for beauty everywhere we can)

10.) Choose to Dance Lightly With Life.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

(yeah, don’t be so serious, lighten up.     ;-)) 

11.) “The doors of wisdom are never shut.” ~ Ben Franklin 

(so true, no matter what happened or is happening, there is a glimmer of hope still sparkling and an opportunity to learn & grow)

12.) “Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship.” ~ Ben Franklin

(this reminds me that one little negative thought or action can really take a great toll on me but one little positive thought or action can help me immensely.)

13.) “To succeed, jump as quickly at opportunities as you do at conclusions.” ~ Ben Franklin

(yes, good things come to those who wait but not to those who wait too late!)

14.) “Those who love deeply never grow old; they may die of old age, but they die young.” ~ Ben Franklin

(love with all you have, take chances when you really, really feel the need….and if it doesn’t work out, don’t regret it because at that moment you felt everything you did/said and also how will you ever know what may happen if you don’t try. if you must regret then do and regret what you did, don’t sit it out and regret not taking action, not loving! <3) 

15.) “Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning , only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.” ~ Ben Franklin 

(this is beautiful!)

16.) “We must indeed all hang together or, most assuredly we shall all hang separately.” ~ Ben Franklin

(let’s stay together <3)

Today I am making the decision to give more when I feel like giving up and to hold on when my heart has had enough.

image

And I hope you, too, will make that decision when you feel broken. <3. Keep making that decision over and over everyday that it hurts.

When I come close to selling out, I will heed LeeAnn Womack’s heartfelt message and reconsider. I will think of that little girl in the picture above. That little girl is me and I came into this world to live and to love and to exist and to be.  To inspire & encourage.

Yesterday I wasn’t so sure but today I feel that I’m doing somewhat of a good job kicking this thing in the ass.

“I came to Win
To Fight
To Conquer
To Thrive,
I came to Win
To Survive
To Prosper
To Rise
To fly”.

 And that I will.

“I saw you standing in the middle of the thunder and lightning
I know you’re feeling like you just can’t win, but you’re trying
It’s hard to keep on keepin’ on, when you’re being pushed around
Don’t even know which way is up, you just keep spinning down, ’round, down…

Every storm runs, runs out of rain
Just like every dark night turns into day
Every heartache will fade away
Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain

So hold your head up and tell yourself that there’s something more
And walk out that door,
Go find a new rose, don’t be afraid of the thorns
‘Cause we all have thorns
Just put your feet up to the edge, put your face in the wind
And when you fall back down, keep on rememberin’

Every storm runs, runs out of rain
Just like every dark night turns into day
Every heartache will fade away
Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain

It’s gonna run out of pain
It’s gonna run out of sting
It’s gonna leave you alone
It’s gonna set you free
Set you free” ~ Gary Allan

“I’ll look back on this and smile because it’s life and I chose to live it.”

image

(not my photo but I love it!!)

Xoxo Kim

P.s. Keep on keeping on, when the going gets tough, the tough get going.

image

(not my picture, I found it on the net)