Tag Archive | kindness

“Ordinary” people who inspire me <3

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There’s a lot of inspirational people in this world who most of us know about: celebrities, authors, politicians, world leaders, other famous or well known people. Ones who people tend to think of as extraordinary. 

But then there’s the other people.   The ones who aren’t famous. They’re not known in the media or around the world. Maybe they’re your friends.   Your family members. Your coworker or neighbor. Someone you met at a bus stop. A teacher you had in school one year, a professor in college.   A random stranger on the street or a salesperson at a store, a customer at a place you work.

All the “little” things they do may not reach as many people, maybe the impact of them doesn’t reach people at the same magnitude as the people frequently publicized in the media. But their actions, words, kindness, compassion, & love are no less extraordinary to the lives they touch & warm.

Inspirational people are everywhere. 

I decided to create a list of some people who have at one point inspired me somehow. Some of them I know personally. Others I have only encountered once in all my days. But all of their lives have touched mine, somehow, for the better.

1.) The man who stopped his car to ask another man, a random stranger, if he needed help with the ladder he was putting up. “Yo, buddy, you need help with that?” he asked. And it warmed me to see such random kindness extended to a stranger. 

2.) The man who noticed I was lost one day and offered me help without me asking.   I was lost in Center City Philadelphia a few years ago. I was confused and had no idea where to go or who to ask for help.   I walked along the crowded, busy streets and must have appeared to be lost & confused. A man I have never seen before approached me with a warm smile & genuine concern, asking me if I need help. I told him yes, I can’t seem to find what bus I need to get home. He asked me where I was going and showed me where to go. He helped me find my way back home. 

3.) The group of little girls who blessed me with kindness which was more than necessary. I was working at the store one night and a group of young girls came for ice cream. They were no older than 13 years old. They all sat on the bench after paying, to eat their ice cream. They were all wearing girls soccer uniforms. After they ate their ice cream they came back to the window and looked at me smiling and whispering to each other.   I suspected that they were doing this in the way girls do when they are being malicious.   Girls of all ages do this. They can be 8 years, 13 years, 25 years, 40 years, 60 years or older and they will stare, whisper, smirk, gossip, about other girls. Not all girls do this but many do.   I wasn’t sure but I thought maybe these girls were doing this. But they were not. They each pulled out money, put it together and handed it to me, “This is a tip for you, thank you” and they smiled at me warmly and walked away. I was and still am so touched by their kindness and generosity.

4.) Diane, the lady who brags about me as if I am her own daughter. I have known her for about 7 years, I met her at work. She has a few sons who are close to the same age as me. She loves to introduce me to new people , loves to tell them how sweet I am, how friendly & loving, and all about my education and interests. If you listened to her,you would think I’m her own daughter the way she’s so proud and so ready to show me off to people. 

5.) Brian, my next door neighbor who loves to help stray animals. He is so dedicated to helping homeless cats. He takes them in during storms, feeds them on his steps even though other neighbors get angry saying he attracts them.   He goes on doing what he loves, helping animals in need. He places bowls of food near a lot on the street for a mommy kat & her kitties. He comes out at all hours of the night checking on them. He is very friendly & kind.

6.) The stranger who I told everything to in the rain one day under his umbrella at the bus stop. It was after my therapist appointment one day. It was raining hard. It was beautiful. I was waiting for the bus. He stood next to me and put his umbrella over me. He wasn’t coming on to me, wasn’t trying to hook up, wasn’t being a creep or trying to take advantage.   He just wanted to help me not get soaked and was genuinely interested in my story. He asked if I live around there I said no. He asked if I work near there.   I said no. I told him I go there for therapy.   He was interested in why. I told him I have severe depression. He couldn’t relate much but told me his sister can. He asked what it’s like for me. I told him. I expected him to turn away at first, to give me a weird look, a scared look, which some strangers have done when I told them. But he looked at me in no such way. He was kind, compassionate, empathetic, interested, friendly.   And he told me about his life & his sister.   It was perfect.

7.) The lady who came to my work to buy ice cream and bought a homeless man everything he wanted. He was so grateful, she was genuinely concerned. I bought him a soda.   He was so moved. He cried. Said he never experienced such warmth & kindness.

8.) The little girl who came to the store where I work to buy something. She started to walk away then turned back and said “I just want to tell you, you look beautiful tonight.”
 

9.) The doctors & nurses in the hospital I was in when I was 21 years old and had to get emergency surgery for my kidney. They were so kind, warm, caring, compassionate, & genuinely concerned. I have never been so sick and in so much pain before then. My heroes.

10.) The very patient & helpful Philadelphia detective when I had to try to identify someone who held a gun to my chest and no one in the pictures were that man. Another detective was inpatient, fed up, angry, and bitter with me, for not knowing enough info. Which I understand with all the stressful, heroic work he does day in & day out. But this other man, he was warm & told me how helpful I was and how good I did even though I wasn’t very helpful.

11.) The psychiatric technician I met during one of my hospitalizations for depression. Very caring, compassionate, uplifting, empathetic, unlike many other of the staff members. He cared about us truly. He told us about his own struggle with addiction, how he was hopeless at one point and turned his life around and now helps people who are in a dark place where he once was. He told us we all have an inner sun and to let it shine through, to take good care of ourselves, how deserving we are of love, how capable we are of turning our own lives around. He told us about the “Gambler” song sung by Kenny Rogers and how inspiring it is about life in general, which I already knew but love more now.

This is just a brief list. I have many more inspiring memories/people as well. And not only positive / happy people and things can be inspirational.   Tears, heartbreak, struggles, pain, illness, setbacks…can all inspire us and strengthen us.

Who are the “ordinary” people in your everyday who inspire you? I encourage you to frequently make mental notes, and even lists on paper or electronic lists. One seemingly small act of kindness can be so big to the person’s whose life it touches. 

You may be touching other people’s lives for the better everyday without even knowing!

You can inspire people in person & through your writing or drawing or singing.

I believe we should appreciate all of the people and the simple things they do and the way they inspire us everyday and I believe we should be the kind of person who inspires others.

Much love, laughter, life, inspiration, & healing to you all.

Thank You, Earthbound angels. Thank You mortal goddesses & gods.

Xox0 Kim

😀

Your Beautiful Body – {awe}, {wonder}, {inspired} WOW! :-D <3

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I am often filled with wonder and awe at the things around me and within me. I believe that every single one of us should take full advantage of being alive. And not just by realizing your big dreams or doing more of what you love or being around people who make you happy. All of that too. But one way to take the experience of being alive and conscious and make the best of it is to milk it for all you can, yup, milk that shit for all (or awe?!) it’s worth! Lol 

And I’m not the only weirdo who thinks this way! Lol. Need some convincing? Here you are:

http://thedailylove.com/don’t-just-think-about-it-–-thank-about-it/

I read that when it first came out and I could not believe how it resonates with me and how someone else feels this way!  Wow!

Look around you. Look. What do you see? Hear? Feel? Smell? Taste?  The same things you always do, right? All the ordinary. Mundane occurrences. Monotonous things.   Nothing special, right? 

Wrong! 

Everything is amazing. Beyond amazing. Everything is truly incredible. Wondrous. Miraculous. There is astounding beauty all around. Within.

Look at the trees, the branches and leaves blowing in the wind, feel the air on your skin, look at the sky, take in the scents all around you, listen to the songbirds, the crickets, the cars, taste the food you put into your mouth, citrus like the sun, sweet like honeysuckle flowers drenched in morning mist, salt like tears, tears of heartbreak & joy, pain & gratitude..bask in the wonders, the rain upon your skin..watch the sun awaken or set. Or both.

You don’t have to believe in any supernatural beings, religion, or any spiritual realms to see everything, even the “ordinary”, as a “miracle.”

Just because we have instant access to something every single day doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful or wondrous or that it can’t be awe-inspiring. I love that I can see every day. That I can hear. That I can wake up.  That I can walk.  That I can look up at the sky and feel life surge through me like electricity.

I have been able to do these things all my life and if nothing goes very wrong, I always will! But it just never gets old.

Sometimes beautiful things and a feeling of wonder and awe of life may come so easily,  naturally, automatically but other occasions it may be hard to see beauty or feel inspired and we really have to look and make a conscious decision to look for it and receive it.

I don’t know most people but it seems to me that most of us do not have many awe-inspiring experiences or feel wonder and beauty with each breath or even just once a day.

I’m not talking about the overuse/”misuse” of the word “awesome ” that many people are in the habit of saying, like when people say like “that car is awesome ” or she’s so “awesome” or that baseball team, well they’re just so…
 Awesome, meaning those things are “cool” or those are what’s up. Not something that’s trendy and “neat-o” .

Awesome like something provoking a deep feeling of awe in us. Awe – respectful fear & wonder.  Like the way Lionel Richie uses this word in his song, “Say You, Say Me”.

Yup! Some things are so wondrous, so beautiful, it’s quite scary! ;-O

We see aesthetically pleasing things or hear them frequently if our senses function but how often do we let those things inspire us to the bones, to the core? How often can we feel them tingling in every cell of the body and deep into the marrow of our bones?  How often are we overwhelmed, weak at the knees just thinking about the astounding gift of being alive?  And not just things experienced through the senses but everything.   Everything felt inside. Heartwarming.  Look at your friends. Your family. Your pets. Yourself.   And feel how incredible it is to have have those things.   Those people. Not just like having fun with, & loving them but how amazing it is, the experience of knowing them, of having them.

We take so much for granted. The beauty I feel runs so deep. The love.  The inspiration is so ingrained. I have these moments usually at least once a day, usually strongest at night or the early morning. It’s like the wonder of a child, or a philosopher.  Or someone who has just stepped out of a life of utter darkness.
As if a big, thick, heavy quilt was just snatched off of me after a life of being covered by it. And now I can see.  And I will never be used to this feeling.

What is it? This feeling that overcomes me, breathes in me when everything just astounds me and I cannot believe I am blessed with such shocking, unbelievable beauty & love & inspiration & life ?

I speak of developing & strengthening positive habits frequently and this is one habit that I believe is incredible to develop and maintain. 

When we look and appreciate and meditate upon the goodness of these wonders and joys, and look & see with “new” eyes as if we have never really seen before, when we imagine a life without these wonders, it can help us so much to feel, live, and breathe life, inspiration, beauty.

When we think, “What are the chances?”

Think of your body.   How often do you think we think of our bodies? Very frequently right? But usually when we think of our own body, it’s about or in relation to its appearance, the aesthetics of it, how it looks to us and others, or when it’s hungry.

And usually it seems, at least to me, when people think of their own body, it’s in a very negative way. It doesn’t match up to those standards of beauty we have in our heads about how it should look or be.

But for once, I would like everyone to silence the hostile and toxic criticism of the appearance of their own bodies and even the mere thought of its physical appearance and instead look upon it with wonder & awe. Not for what it looks like but for what it does.

You think your fantastic car is amazing? Your intelligent phone? Those “I” things with access to the Internet? They sure are but they don’t even come close to the beauty and wonder that is your body!

Your body is one of the most amazing wonders no matter what it looks like or how perfectly or imperfectly it functions.

Your heart. Your lungs. Your kidneys. Your stomach. Your liver. Bones. Blood. Veins. Breath.  Nerves. Your eyes. Your ears. Your tongue. Your appendix. Your intestines.   Your skin. Every gorgeous curve of your body. Your spleen. Your boobies. (big or small, it doesn’t matter! Lol) Your back. Your spine that holds you.  That lovely smile. Your uplifting laugh. Your beautiful eyelashes. Your dna, your fingerprints, your blueprint.  Your finger/toe nails. Your hair. Your nose.   Your fingers & your toes.   All of those things! Isn’t it amazing?!??!

All the things it can do! It allows you to think. Experience. Feel. Live. Be.

Put your hands on your face. Make eye contact with someone, even a stranger, and connect on a basic human level. Smile. Feel those little, beautiful bones in your neck. Look at those lines of life in your wrists. Look at someone else’s body and feel the awe surge through you.

We’re so used to having a body. So used to seeing everyone else’s bodies everywhere we go. We overlook the miraculous wonder of them. The way they exist. The way they function. They way they let us live.  My body is beautiful. Your body is beautiful. Breathtaking.

Here are some mind – blowing facts just for you today!
 
The average adult heart beats 72 times a minute; 100,000 times a day; 3,600,000 times a year; and 2.5 billion times during a lifetime.

Source:
(Parramon’s Editorial Team. 2005. Essential Atlas of Physiology. Hauppauge, NY: Barron’s Educational Series, Inc.)

A kitchen faucet would need to be turned on all the way for at least 45 years to equal the amount of blood pumped by the heart in an average lifetime.

Source :
(Avraham, Regina. 2000. The Circulatory System. Philadelphia, PA: Chelsea House Publishers.)

Every day, the heart creates enough energy to drive a truck 20 miles. In a lifetime, that is equivalent to driving to the moon and back.

Source:
(Avraham, Regina. 2000. The Circulatory System. Philadelphia, PA: Chelsea House Publishers.)

During an average lifetime, the heart will pump nearly 1.5 million barrels of blood—enough to fill 200 train tank cars.

Source:
(Avraham, Regina. 2000. The Circulatory System. Philadelphia, PA: Chelsea House Publishers.)

Check this for more lovely facts!
http://facts.randomhistory.com/human-heart-facts.html

And here ‘s another one for you :

Stomach acid is strong enough to dissolve metal, even sharp objects such as razor blades. Although swallowing metal is never a good idea, it will seriously injure or kill a person before it’s dissolved by the person ‘s stomach acid. 
(Li. P. K.; Spittler C.; Taylor C. W.; Sponseller D.; Chung R.S.; Department of Surgery, Meridia Huron and Hillcrest Hospitals, Cleveland , Ohio
Gastrointestinal Endoscopy ISSN 0016-5107)

But isn’t that amazing?! ;-D

And think of when you have a cut or a broken bone. Whether or not you need medical assistance, that body of yours heals itself. Your skin closes back up. It’s almost too good to be true. But it’s not because It IS true!

Imagine walking up a street and out of nowhere being overwhelmed by the incredible beauty of living, imagine the feeling as if you will burst into tears at any moment.   Not tears of sorrow or pain. But tears of joy and gratitude.  

I want you to love your body for letting you live. And live so well. Nourish it. Cherish it.  Your body hears everything you say & think so watch what you say, you don’t want to stress it out! Or piss it off.

Here is something to ponder written by Albert Einstein :

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

But without deeper reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people; first of all for those upon whose smiles and well-being our own happiness is wholly dependent, and then for the many, unknown to us, to whose destinies we are bound by the ties of sympathy.

A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.

A human being is part of a whole, called by us the “Universe,” a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest -a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us.

Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.

Only a life lived for others is worth living.”

–Albert Einstein

(I don’t necessarily agree with it in its entirety. I like this.  Very compassionate & intelligent, generous man!  But that last line, it kind of rubs me the wrong way. And not merely because he says we should live for others but the gall to assume only certain kinds of lives or worth living. I don’t think he’s saying we should live to be servants at the expense of our own sanity and welfare but some people may take it that way. I completely agree we should help others and not demand or expect tangible things or favors in return and should have compassion and empathy and that we are all connected in ways. We can help others and love all living creatures without wearing ourselves out to be their servants. We must find the correct balance and set healthy boundaries. But yeah I wouldn’t say any life is ‘not worth living’. But I guess that calls for a whole other post!)

Ohhhh, the wild joys of living…..

“Oh the wild joys of living! The leaping from rock to rock … the cool silver shock of the plunge in a pool’s living waters.” ~ Robert Browning

I hope you find that inspiration, that music in your bones, that magic in your heart, that awareness, & gratitude, those awe-provoking moments that will blow you away.   And always remember, even the ordinary is truly extraordinary when we really. 

😀

Xo Kim

P.s.

https://livingmindfully.org/

http://www.meditationoasis.com/

It doesn’t take a talent to be mean <3

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There’s a song I used to listen to over & over when I was a little girl. I can’t remember exactly how old I was but I was very young, not even a teenager yet.

My dad introduced me to the song and I was instantly hooked. I never paid much attention to the words or to the message the singer conveys through her song.
I just loved her sweet, soft, & gentle voice and the music. The song is,
“I’m Sensitive” by Jewel.   I remember asking my dad what “sensitive” means and he said it means the girl is easily hurt, saddened, or impacted by other people ‘s actions and words.

And I remember asking him if this girl is really sensitive or if she just likes to sing that she is. I remember him saying “No, she’s really a sensitive girl.”

 I remember thinking, “I want to meet this girl.”

I think one of the most poignant lines in her song is:

 “It doesn’t take a talent to be mean.”.

This couldn’t be more true.   Destructive criticism, cruelty, intentional insults, slander, toxic gossip about others, verbal thrashings,  is no special skill or trait and nothing to be proud of yourself for engaging in.

“I was thinking that I might fly today
Just to disprove all the things you say
It doesn’t take a talent to be mean
Your words can crush things that are unseen
So please be careful with me, I’m sensitive
And I’d like to stay that way.”

Your words, even untrue ones which were only said out of anger or jealousy or to make yourself feel better about your own life or self, can have long lasting, devastating effects on the people you inflict them upon.

“You always tell me that it’s impossible
To be respected and be a girl
Why’s it gotta be so complicated?
Why you gotta tell me if I’m hated?
So please be careful with me, I’m sensitive
And I’d like to stay that way.”

Things don’t always have to be so complicated. Love. It’s simple. Your words impact people. For better or for worse. 
So why not speak lovingly of yourself and others about yourself and other people?
Let your words heal, not hurt. Bring people up, not down.

Do you have the right to be cruel? To sling ugly words at and about people? Absolutely!  At least in U.S. Culture, you are legally protected by our Constitution and so in many cases you do have the legal right to say unkind things .   And I don’t argue against that. You have that legal right. And I support your right. And my right.
But just because we can do something doesn’t mean we always should or that we have to. The fact that we can say just about whatever we want and not get in legal trouble is a gift that we tend to take too much advantage of by taking it to the extreme and spewing toxic things out about people.  Just because I argue against your words or your intentions doesn’t in any way mean I’m arguing against your right so say what you will. (the argument that people who speak cruelly of others often tend to turn to is something like “I have the right to say what I want…” but I am merely objecting to your cruelty itself, not you legal right to be cruel; you can, if you insist, continue to be very cruel)
You have the potential and often the legal right to knock people down with your words. But you always have the potential and the legal right to bring people up with your words, your warmth, your smile.
And you can choose whichever you want.

What will you choose today?

“I was thinking that it might do some good
If we robbed the cynics and took all their food
That way what they believe will have taken place
And we’ll give it to anybody who has some faith
So please be careful with me, I’m sensitive
And I’d like to stay that way.”

This line is brilliant. What you believe or look for is often what you will find. When you’re in a negative state of mind looking for the bad, you will see it everywhere.   When you’re in a positive state of mind looking for the good, you will see it glittering all around and within you.

“I have this theory that if we’re told we’re bad
Then that’s the only idea we’ll ever have
But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty
Someday we will become what we see”

Just like the previous lyrics, we will find what we are searching for. And if we’re surrounded by negatively critical words and allow them to affect us too much, we can start to believe them or just be lowered by them and our views are clouded. But if we are surrounded by beauty, we will become beauty. And our views will be positive and we will see with clarity. There’s is always, always, always something beautiful. To be seen. Or heard. Or felt. Or known. Always. Look for it. It’s there. Let that be what you are and become, not the ugliness.  

“‘Cause anyone can start a conflict
It’s harder yet to disregard it”

Yes, anyone can cause problems for others, and drag people down and do things to watch people suffer. 
Do you really want to do that? It says more about you than those you slander and gossip about. Even if your accusations and claims are true. Necessary constructive criticism is one thing, cruelty is another.
A person criticizing others just for the thrill of it may feel big & bad but that person is really very small.

“I’d rather see the world from another angle
We are everyday angels
Be careful with me ’cause I’d like to stay that way”

Beautiful ending to a beautiful song. We can train our brains to see the world however we wish to see it. I love how she is a sensitive girl which means she can be easily hurt but she wants to stay herself. Don’t change your beautiful self just for the ugliness of others.  It’s good to be affected by people and things.   It’s good to feel. To live. To have heartbreak and healing. To be broken then whole. To let people in. To give people and things the chance. A chance to know us, love us, hurt us, and heal us.  It’s better than putting up walls and locking people out, we can be hurt, crushed, devastated but it let’s us have deeper, more purposeful relations with people, ourselves and the world than when we live in fear of being crushed. If we lock people out and numb ourselves to our surroundings, it’s true that we may protect ourselves against the pain of rejection, abandonment, and someone we love or anyone seriously causing us pain but we also deny ourselves the depth of true relationships, the sense of closeness, the positivity of people uplifting us, and deep satisfaction of letting the world in. If you make it so you cannot potentially feel deep pain, you also make it so you cannot feel true, profound joy. Is it really worth it?
As the saying often goes, “it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved.”. How cliche, right? But for good reason!

I can’t remember when or why I stopped listening to this song. Maybe my cd broke or I lost it. Have you ever just been reminded of a song that was once a significant part of you so long ago? One you listened to over & over and loved deeply?   And now you can’t remember or understand why or when you stopped listening to it? It seems to have eventually just slipped out of your grasp and got away .   That’s like this song and me. I never got tired of this song but haven’t heard it or even thought of it in decades. Then I received an e-mail by Johnathan Lockwood Huie. 

http://www.jonathanlockwoodhuie.com/

One of the ones he sends every morning with his beautiful inspiration. 
He sent a list of quotes and one is Jewel ‘s quote in one of her other lovely songs:

“I’m having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and, someone’s got to pay.”
– Jewel

Lol 
When I read this quote I automatically remembered Jewel’s other song, “I’m Sensitive” and I thought “Whatever happened to that song?! Where did it go?! Where did I leave that song?!, packed away somewhere deep in the abandoned crevices of my brain I no longer tend to.” I vaguely remembered the tune, the lyrics, her gorgeous, soft, caressing, comforting voice and I wondered if I would still love it as much. Hoping I would. I found it, downloaded it at one something in the morning after I opened Mr. Lockwood Huie’s e-mail, yesterday morning. I always receive those e-mails at that hour every single morning and it couldn’t be more perfect. 
I was half sleeping so decided to wait til later that morning to listen to the song so I can really take it in and get the best of it.   Fully, deeply, truly.  When I finally listened again to that song that I haven’t heard since I was about eight years old, maybe younger, I did not only love it as much as I did then. I love it more. 

It’s beautiful. And now has much more meaning in my heart than it did all those years ago. I’m old enough now to truly understand it. I have my own experiences now to relate with much depth. It’s not just about aesthetics any longer.

And I hope you always remember, dragging other people down doesn’t bring you up. You may *feel* temporarily uplifted but it doesn’t make you any better. Destructively pointing out other people ‘s ugliness doesn’t make you pretty. Unnecessarily magnifying their flaws will never perfect you. It says nothing about them and all kinds of things about you. 
Whenever we feel the need to hurt others emotionally merely because we just feel like it we should stop instead and examine our own lives. Instead of trying to destroy others, we should work on ourselves.
I, myself, am not completely innocent of speaking unnecessary, unkind words about others but I know I am above that and I can choose kindness or at least not choose cruelty.

~Kindness is a gift we can all afford to give.~

Will you be the one bringing light to that person in the darkness?

Xox0 Kim

P.s. I would include a link to the YouTube video of the song but I’m using my phone and can only seem to be able to get the mobile version of YouTube. I don’t know if that can work for anyone not using my phone.
😀

An Inspiring Conversation

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” I choose to FIGHT BACK! I choose to RISE, not fall! I choose to LIVE, not die! And I know, I know that what’s within me is also WITHIN YOU. “~Mayor John Pappas (City Hall, 1996)

About a year ago, I had a conversation with someone at work one night. At first, I found this conversation to be very unpleasant but shortly after the conversation ended, I felt energized, inspired, uplifted, and so hopeful.

This conversation is one of the things which has had the greatest, positive impact on me in my journey to recover my suicidal depression.

A person was talking to me about drug addiction and people who struggle and have struggled with addiction. She had a very negative view of people who have suffered substance addiction, even the ones who have overcome it and no longer consume illegal/recreational drugs.

She basically held the view that drug addicted people are lost causes who are bound to go nowhere in life. And even when they recover or heal, they will always be “druggies”. “Druggies” who even after recovering will never find redemption or worth.

I couldn’t have disagreed with this girl more. I see so much potential and hope and light in almost everyone I look at. People are remarkably strong and resilient and can overcome and move forward even when it’s hard. Even when it’s painful and all seems hopeless. Even when it seems impossible. Even when it’s all just so dark. 

There can always be light. When I look at a person, even a troubled, difficult, broken person with great obstacles and challenges, I don’t see an addiction or an illness or a mere label or a “lost cause”. I see a person.   A light. Possibility and hope. Hope for healing.   Hope for change.  

Everyone has something to contribute to this world and everyone around us whether or not they realize it and even when it feels impossible.   You may feel so empty, so broken, so devoid of life, so hopeless but you are not beyond healing or hope or love.

A person who has struggled with addiction and has overcome or healed that addiction and no longer takes drugs/alcohol has acheived an incredible accomplishment. It takes great strength and courage and dedication to pick up the broken pieces, the shattered parts of self and put them together again and become whole. There may always be scars, cracks, breaks, pain..but it’s possible to move forward and find true happiness, true joy in existence.

Why judge someone negatively for previous mistakes or a health condition or a choice that got out of control?

I have never struggled with addiction of any sort and cannot possibly know what it’s like.   All I can know is that it is painful, devastating, heartbreaking and difficult for the person who is addicted and everyone around that person and that it IS possible, with help & support of various kinds, to get better enough to live and be happy living. Whether or not the person is completely recovered with no more urges or still has urges that are difficult to resist. Even someone who relapses now and then.

It’s not always easy for an addicted person to know this or to ask for help or to not relapse.   And people struggling with addiction deserve empathy, understanding, compassion, love, encouragement.   They aren’t monsters. Many of them may steal and assault people and become unrecognizable to those who knew them before the tragedy of addiction but they are not all bad people . Underneath the devastation and the addiction is an amazing person who can find hope and healing.

After this girl I had the conversation with left me that night I started to think about our contrasting views. She viewed people who struggle with addiction as some of the lowest people on Earth, worthless, bad, taking up space in a world they don’t deserve.

And I view them as the people they are. Worthy of love, empathy, care, acceptance, compassion…

And I started to think about how we need more people in this world with my view. We need people with better understanding and compassion.

I thought of my own struggle with suicidal depression, which back then, a year ago, was not as healed as it is today, right now.

I thought of all the moments I wanted to kill myself in this life, feeling as if I had nothing to live for and never ever would , as if I was worthless, empty, nothing, as if the pain was just too much to bear, weighing too heavy on my life, to go on.

And I realized if I ever kill myself, I kill my compassion for others, my love, my empathy, my understanding, my acceptance, my open mindedness. If I kill myself, I kill all the chances I will ever have to help another, before those chances even begin. If I kill me, I kill the opportunity to tell someone s/he is not a lost cause, not an addiction, not a loser, not deserving of callousness and abusive insults and cruelty. I kill the chance to tell someone there is hope.

I’m not an expert on addiction. I don’t know exactly how to handle an addicted person, especially one who is acting out. They may need firmness every now and then and not all sap and gentleness, I don’t know. But that’s not my point anyway; my point is that we need more people with compassion and positive views of troubled people. We need people who will not destructively criticize and tell people there’s no hope for them.

This goes for any troubled person or anyone who has made mistakes with serious consequences, not just addicted people. 

And that if you ever kill yourself, you kill every positive aspect of yourself, your opportunity to eventually be fulfilled and healed and find or create a sense of purpose, and your opportunity for growth and your opportunity to impact the world and maybe even just one life for the better.

You’re under no obligation to live for others, it’s yourself you should live for. But there are people who need you to live, you may not have met them yet and maybe won’t meet them for many years, maybe you never will but your life will somehow touch theirs.  Someone, somewhere needs YOU to LIVE.  And eventually you will find or create a sense of purpose for your own existence.

Live for yourself and your own empathy and care and love. And live for all of your good qualities and possibilities.

I vowed to myself that night after that conversation which at first I believed to be unpleasant, that I will never take my own life. We should all live for ourselves. But when I used to get suicidal, I did not want to live for me. I saw nothing in me worth living for. But that night I vowed to never, ever end my own life even if I feel like it because if nothing else, there’s  one thing in me worth surviving for, my concern and care for others.   My empathy, my ability to see beyond illnesses and difficulties and troubles and mistakes, my desire, my longing to help heal and console in any way I can. This fulfills me.  I know those aren’t my only reasons for living, my reason is just to be,  but when I’m contemplating suicide I usually see nothing to go on for.  But this view is something I will always believe in. Helping others, also helps me. We are all connected.

I don’t live to be a “slave” and used by others, I allow myself to be fulfilled by helping and positively impacting anyone I can.

There are many, many people like me who feel this way about people, that they can heal and are deserving of compassion and love. And if I kill myself there will be one less of us.

(No one should kill themselves even if they aren’t compassionate or empathetic or caring.

Since that night, I haven’t seriously contemplated ending my own life. And if I ever do again, I have a sweet reminder of something worth living for.

And there’s also another lesson to be learned here, anyone can be our teacher even those who are unpleasant, even unpleasant encounters can be inspiring and teach us valuable lessons. This young woman who I debated with that night, this at first seemingly unpleasant encounter, provided me with the chance to think about things which have filled me with hope & inspiration. 

And here I am today, still inspired, still hopeful, still going strong.

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Xox Much love, blessings, & hope to you all.

~Kim

“Don’t judge me by my past, I don’t live there anymore.”

“Possibilities are everywhere.”

“Always go the extra mile, it’s never crowded.”

“Your past is a gift to guide you, it doesn’t have to imprison you.”

Thank You <3

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Thank You so so much to my new followers & the old ones too. And the people who liked and commented on my posts. Words really can’t express my true gratitude & appreciation. <3. I love knowing that people have read & like my content & blog!!! :-D. I appreciate every one of you and your encouragement & kindness!! 😀

 

 

 

When Encountering Difficult People

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Not everyone you meet in your life will be easy going, light hearted, friendly, and warm. Some will be difficult, unpleasant,  extremely rude, outright miserable and hard to handle.

For many people, even the usual friendly, kind people, the natural reaction is to respond with the same coldness and angry temperament that the difficult person dishes out.

This doesn’t mean they are bad or unkind people for responding or wanting to respond that way, it’s just that other people’s moods and attitudes often impact or influence our own.

But it doesn’t always have to be that way. We can choose to rise above the negativity of others.

I work at a store and most of my customers are extremely kind and friendly and so grateful for my service and very expressing of that gratitude.  

And even the few people who aren’t the friendliest are not usually blatantly rude or difficult. 

But on extremely rare occasions I get one who is.

A few weeks ago I was training a new girl and a man, who is an old man,  came for ice cream.  There was a misunderstanding and he gave me way too much money and walked away without his change. I called him back and gave him his change and he started yelling very bitterly that he should actually get back more change.  

He left very angry.  And I was so annoyed and felt a surge of anger at him.

Then he recently came back very angry and loud and yelled “Give me two small ice creams you hear me!!!! Two small ice creams!!!”. His attitude was lousy.  

But I was in no mood to react angrily or be rude to him. I just saw him as a person with desires and needs and I smiled at him and got what he wanted. I made it easy for him to carry his ice cream by putting them in a small box. I asked him if he needed napkins and my tone was very friendly. Genuinely friendly.   I felt compassion for him. He is a person with needs and desires, no less worthy of compassion and kindness than I am.

I was amazed when his face lit up and he smiled at me brightly. He said “Have a great night, hun!”. And was very friendly as he was leaving.

His whole expression and physical movements changed. He became lighter and softer. All because my interaction with him was pleasant.

Imagine if I would have perpetuated the hostility with a bitter tone. It would have made him more bitter, more negative, more hostile.   Which in turn, could have made me more angry. And on and on.

I would have never seen his good side and he would have not seen mine. I gave us both the chance to truly see each other.

He came back another night and was friendly as can be. Smiling and happily greeting me. Sometimes people get the wrong impression of another person or mis judge or make inaccurate assumptions based on things that are not true or real or what they seem.

People should not act on first judgments but they often do.  We should not assume something and act before knowing but sometimes that is exactly what we do.

Maybe the man got the wrong impression of me for whatever reason and reacted based on his thoughts or feelings about it.

But it’s my job to show him who I really am. So that’s what I did.

Things will not always go this smoothly. Some people will be bitter and negative towards you no matter how kind, gentle, and warm you are with them. That’s just the way some people are. But you do not have to react back that way.

But the choice is yours.

You are not a horrible person for coming back at people or resorting to angry comments or even slinging an insult now and then.

While there are better ways to handle unpleasant situations, we occasionally (or maybe even often) may get caught up in the heat of that moment and react negatively or non effectively. 

Sometimes I feel like reacting negatively to people when they are difficult and unkind.

Then I remember this quote :

“Don’t treat people as bad as they are.   Treat them as good as you are.” ~ Unknown

And it inspires warmth in me. It’s not only treating that person well but being true to myself. I can be above treating people horribly or negatively. There will always be rude and bitter people and I believe that is ok.

There are various kinds of people in this life. Not all of them good and pleasant. We can’t and should not control anyone but ourselves. We can make attempts to influence and impact one another for the better but that’s all.

Try to influence negative people with your positivity not let their negativity influence you.

It’s good to be affected by others. Both negatively and positively.   It makes us fully alive. Who wants to walk around like a zombie or robot and be shielded, completely, against the world? Not letting anyone in?

People are good and bad. The world is good and bad. Life itself is good and bad. And being affected is part of living.

But we can work to not allow ourselves to be too worked up, destroyed, or depressed or anxious over the thoughts, actions, and feelings of others. 

There’s an amazing book called, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (and it’s all small stuff) by Richard Carlson 

And in this book one of the author’s suggestions to help us feel more compassion for difficult people is to imagine them as a newborn infant or a 100 year old person who has not much longer to live.

At one point all of us were newborn children and if we are blessed enough, at one point we will be very old. The man feels that this may put things in perspective for us.  

Babies and very old people need and deserve love, warmth, and compassion
And their age often reminds us of that.And we can work to extend that to others of all ages when they are troubling us.

Remember when you get caught up in other people’s bitterness, negativity, cruelty, and anger, at least you are not them!

I hope you are having an amazingly beautiful day full of love & light & laughter! 😀

Xox0 Kim

” When you are in an upsetting situation, try loving everyone involved and pray for them, hard as they may be. Loving doesn’t mean sentimentality but rather a rational esteem for them as persons.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

The Impact one Life Can Have On Others

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   We may not always realize this fact but one life or one word can impact another life, deeply, for better or for worse. There may be someone you don’t even realize exists and your life affects that person in some way, big or small. 

      Recently I moved into a new house with my family and out in the back is another house and the backyard to that house is against the backyard to my house. A man used to live there who I saw everyday out in the back. He may never have really noticed me but I noticed him.

One thing I noticed was that his house was constantly lit up in the back. His kitchen light was always on.

      And during the holiday season his house was decorated and all lit up beautifully with all kinds of sparkling, glittery decor and lights. I loved seeing it everyday until the season ended.

      Then over a month ago he got a new pitbull puppy who he let out in the yard all throughout the day and night and my big pitbull loved that little dog. They would look at each other through the fence. But then one day the man did not have the dog anymore.

He was just gone. And my dog would go to look for him all throughout the day, everyday for a while. The puppy wasn’t there very long at all but my dog already got used to him and wanted him back.

Then shortly after the dog was gone, the man was also gone.

      His house is completely dark day and night now and I never see him anymore. I’m not generally a nosy or intrusive person.

But I do wonder why the man disappeared like that. Maybe he just moved.

My mom said maybe he got sick or died. But I don’t like to think about that. I want to think he moved or is on vacation. A young couple who is his family who came sometimes, came after he left for a while and then they were gone too.

      I woke up during the night recently and I realized how much I miss seeing him, seeing the lights, the decorations, the puppy…

      Not in a creepy, stalkerish way. I just miss the simple things.

      This man probably has no idea that his life has an effect on mine. I did not know him, never spoke to him, don’t know his name or anything at all about him yet I was touched in some way by his presence in this life.

❤

      This Winter that was just here, one day when I was in Center City Philadelphia on a bus going home, I saw a person holding a sign that read “Homeless & Addicted”.

 

      This person was collecting money. Usually, although not always, when I see homeless people, they are middle age or old and they are men and often unclean looking and ragged/scraggly. I definitely don’t judge them negatively by their looks or anything at all. This is just my observation. And I wish I were able to help them in any way I can.

      This person I saw on a frigid cold freezing day, is a young woman with long hair and she was very clean looking and her clothes were clean looking.

      She was sitting on a street corner where the bus I was on stopped for a few minutes.

      Through her physical beauty I was able to detect pain in her eyes. And I could not have imagined sitting on a street corner for who knows how long on one of the coldest Winter days of the year.

And on top of that struggling with an addiction and nowhere to go.

 

      I instantly had the urge to get off the bus and approach her. I had no money and I guess giving her money wouldn’t have been the best idea anyway since she was struggling with an addiction of some sort.

      But I felt a strong need to do something for her. Or say something uplifting. The bus began to move and I contemplated getting off the bus and bringing her home with me.

      But since I don’t live alone I knew it would not go over too well. My family would have been pissed and turned her away at the door.

      So I stayed on the bus. Reluctantly.

      I wondered about her life (in a non judgmental way) and what horrible things must have happened to contribute to her sitting on a street corner, alone, in the midst of freezing Winter air.

      I felt complete empathy & compassion for her as I thought of my own life.

I am not homeless. I am not addicted. I have never sat alone out in unbearably cold air or any weather collecting money. And I can never pretend to know what any of that is like for someone.  

 

      But somehow, somewhere deep inside me, something in me connected with her, resonated with something in her eyes.

 

      I only saw her for a few minutes out the window that one day and never again.

But those few minutes impacted me in some way.

 

      Even stops later I thought about getting off the bus and going back. Maybe I would have if I had more money.

Maybe I could have bought her something hot to drink to get her out of the cold for a while or maybe I could have been a friend to her for a day.

But none of that happened. 

 

      I told my mom about her and she told me I better never bring a homeless person home. She also said that the girl may not have been homeless and just pretending, to get money.

But whatever her true circumstance, I know she was desperate to be collecting money in the freezing, painful cold.

❤

      One day recently I was in a store and for some reason I had a flash back of when I was in middle school out in the schoolyard on a Windy day. My long waist length hair was blowing in the wind.

One of the girls I was standing with said to me “Do something with that ugly hair.”

And another girl quickly responded with “Her hair is not ugly; she has very pretty hair.”

 

      That was well over a decade ago but even today I can smile at the compliment of the sweet girl who defended me. Over a decade later I can still feel her words today. It’s not just what she said but the fact that she was kind enough to want to help me and compliment me. I can still feel the warmth of her words. There are lots of people like that in this world. Ones who want to help and heal and be friendly and express kindness. And there are also lots like the other girl was that day who want to offend and be vicious and negative.

      But it’s much, much better to focus on the kindness of people than the cruelty of others.

❤

 

      One day approximately one year ago I was at work when a lady brought an add for a Beef & Beer for a young woman who was recently diagnosed with Leukemia and her family was struggling with her medical expenses and because of her illness she was out of work.

She was 24 years old then.

 

      I looked at the ad and saw a picture of a beautiful young woman with a bright smile and with no hair. I never knew her or heard of her before that day but I saw that her family lives somewhat close to where I live.

 

      It hurt me to know how sick she was and the physical & emotional pain that comes along with this terrible disease and all the pain her family & friends, and others close to her had to endure.

 

      I looked at her picture and wished so desperately that I could just take away her sickness. But I knew that’s beyond my control.

 

      So I walked away feeling helpless. Then suddenly I remembered there are e-mail addresses on the ad. 

So I chose one and e-mailed asking the person to tell me anything at all I can do to help support the young woman and her family/friends in any way at all that I could.

 

      The sister of the girl wrote back to me and said she was very grateful for my desire to help and that her family would appreciate if I would buy some things such as eating utensils and small gifts for the raffles at the beef & beer. I was not able to attend it because of work but I was definitely able to send in some gifts for the family and the girl.

 

      My dad helped me buy some things. And I took it to the girl’s mom’s work. When I went in to take the gifts a sweet and friendly lady asked how she can help me. I explained that I was not there for service but to drop off some things for the young woman and it turned out that the lady I was talking to is that girl’s mom.

 

      I could see in her eyes that she was deeply touched and even surprised.

 

      She told me how incredibly grateful and moved she was that I wanted to help her.

 

      After the beef & beer ended I received a beautiful thank you e-mail by her sister. I was never expecting it and her sister did not have to be so kind. She told me how great and successful the event was and how thrilled her sister was and how much fun her sister had at her event.

 

      I loved knowing that her sister and everyone had a lot of fun and that the event was so successful. ❤

 

      I also “liked” the girl’s facebook page and I was able to tell by her statuses that she is a very, very positive young woman. Even through her sickness she wrote of how happy and thankful she is and how much she loves everything. She wrote about how difficult her illness and the treatments are but that she still was so happy.

 

      Her strength astounded me when I felt everything she wrote.

 

      I’m thankful for the lady who brought that ad to my work to help that girl. Because of her, I also got a chance to help.

 

So….

       My point in this post is that words and actions and intentions can have an impact even years later so we should watch what we do and say. We may not realize the true and full impact our words, actions, or lives have or will have on others. You may think your words won’t matter at all or as much as they really will.

If you say something to hurt it may hurt much more than you intended. And if you say something to heal, your words can be much more healing or comforting than you ever thought imaginable.

  

      And if someone has a problem that you have never struggled with yourself and maybe never will and even if you are not close to anyone with that kind of problem, you can still have empathy and compassion for that person.

You don’t have to know exactly what it’s like to have concern and to care for that person.

 

      Also, we all have or have had some sort of problem or some kind of pain, either a little bit or a lot and we can draw on that to be more empathetic to others even with problems and pain different than our own.

 

     And there is often something we can all do to help another. It may not be something that seems really big or important to us but to that one person at that one moment it can be the world. So reach out your hand to someone in need.

 

“Today will never come again. Be a blessing. Be a friend. Encourage someone. Take time to care. Let your words heal, and not wound.” ~Unknown

 

“Always go that extra mile, it’s never crowded.”

 

“How wonderful that no one need wait a single moment to improve the world.”

—Anne Frank

 

“I wondered why somebody didn’t do something. Then I realized, I am somebody.”

—Source Unknown

 

“Not being able to do everything is no excuse for not doing everything you can.”

—Ashleigh Brilliant

 

“Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little.”

—Edmond Burke

 

“I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything; but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”

Edward Everett Hale

 

X0xo Kim ❤

My #1 Goal & sweet reminders <3 :-D

Recently at the ice cream store I work at, a sweet, happy, and friendly family came, a mom, dad, and their two little girls. They wanted some milk for the baby’s sippie cup. We don’t usually sell milk but we do have milk we use for the milkshakes so I gave them a cup of milk and did not charge them even though they offered to pay. They also got ice cream and were very pleased with it! 😀

They only spent a few dollars all together. I charged them a little bit less for the little girls’ ice cream because they got smaller sizes than we sell because the girls are so little. They gave me a sixteen dollar tip! A sixteen dollar tip?! Whoooaaa!!! That’s the biggest tip I ever received at once! I was so grateful for their kindness and generosity. Not just because I got extra money but for the fact that there’s people out there who are that giving and friendly and genuinely want to do good for others. They are just very happy and good people. I always appreciate people/customers like that whether or not they give me a tip. Their friendly smiles are enough for me. 😀

This incident reminded me of my number one goal.

To be the best me I can be.

I hope everyone is having a beautiful day/night wherever you are!

❤

X0xoKim ❤

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To Do List

Image✓ Sing out loud

✓ Write

✓ Smile at people 🙂

✓ Make eye contact

✓ Think positively

✓ Find little doses of inspiration everywhere I look

✓ Be kind

✓ Smile 😀

✓ Draw

✓ Paint

✓ Read & share uplifting quotes

✓ Laugh until it hurts

✓Love

✓Count my blessings

✓ Hope for the best

✓ Imagine

✓ Write a gratitude list

✓ Do something that brings me immense joy

✓Meditate

✓ Bring hope and light to someone in the darkness

✓ Be silly and not care what people think about it

✓ Be me. ❤

✓ See the best in myself & others.

✓ Look for beauty in any form everywhere I can.

✓ Be uplifting

✓ Be lighthearted. ❤

✓ Give.

✓ Be an excellent listener.

✓ Seek to understand.

✓ Be empathetic

✓ Be compassionate

✓ Be a true friend

✓ Perform a random act of kindness

✓ Inspire

✓ Seek to be inspired. 

✓ Embody love. ❤

✓ Be mindful.

✓ See the world with wonder & awe & gratitude

✓ Write an inspirational & uplifting, anonymous letter containing positive quotes and messages, fold it up and leave it in some random place like a bench in a park, an empty seat on a bus, on a step…for a stranger to find.

✓ Take lots of pictures

✓ Be happy

✓ Eat delicious food.

✓ Be light. Be love. Be true. 

✓ Dance

✓ Empower myself. ❤

✓ Focus on the goodness.

✓ Contribute to the world.

✓ Be thankful

✓ Be aware of my senses.

✓ Be friendly 😀

✓ Breathe

✓ Notice the simple things.

✓ Stay calm even in difficult and chaotic situations.

✓ Inhabit my body.

✓ Be.

✓ Be the best me that I can be.

✓Live. ❤

Just saying THANKS and also bragging just a little! lol ;-)

Hello everyone!!  I appreciate each and every one of you!  All the readers, the likes and shares, the lurkers who may appreciate my blog content but not comment, my followers who I have recently found out about, all the people who comment…..ALL of you.  As you may know I mostly use my mobile phone and cannot see everything I can see on a computer.  For example, I cannot see my spam folder on my phone.  I have just recenly begun using my dad’s computer sometimes and i noticed my spam folder on here which I never even realized exists until tonight,  I found 27 messages in there, many of which are not spam at all but actually extremely kind and warm, friendly messages about my blog and me.  So I unspammed the messages branded as spam and approved them.  I was able to respond to some but my connection isn’t very good tonight on the computer.  Whenever I see a message I will ALWAYS respond and NEVER ignore and I will never take long to respond.  Every person deserves a response and I appreciate all comments and everything even if you don’t agree with me on everything.  So I promise to get back to each and every one of you very soon when my connection does not suck! lol  I believe part of blogging is responding to readers’ comments.  And it often seems rude not to acknowledge people who are kind enough to take the time to contact someone.  I am not extremely computer savvy either so sorry for any mistakes or anything or if I accidentally miss something. Thank You all!  And i just got to see what my blog actually looks like on a compter and it’s really quite pretty! lol!!  I love the lovely color and beautiful flowers and stuff I see.

Much love and appreciation to all of you!!! ❤  🙂 😀 ❤

x0xo Kim ❤ 😀