Tag Archive | photos

November Sunrise

Nov15

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“There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope.” ~
Bernard Williams

It’s rare that I’m up early enough to see a sunrise! But this morning after 6:00, I woke up in an urgent state to unplug my phone because it was charging overnight and the battery was probably destroyed! But I soon realized that my phone wasn’t charging! It was in bed with me, under a book so my dogs wouldn’t find it and chew it! (I sleep with books…lol) I remembered that I decided not to charge it last night and just go to sleep! 

Then I noticed a pink, very bright pink, hue seeping through the window and reflecting off the walls, I thought to myself “is that the sun rising?!?!” I looked out and sure enough, it was! What a gift! Whenever I would purposely wake up early to see it, I don’t catch it, I look out and nothing. But on a few rare occasions I woke up accidentally and saw it! Even better!

So I ran downstairs and into the backyard
 and took pictures (hoping people weren’t looking out thinking I’m some creeper taking pictures of their windows). It was much more beautiful than it looks in the pictures!

It was more pink than my pictures suggest. My phone camera often has the tendency to make pink skies look more orange than they really look. 

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I love how it reflects in the windows on the house next door.

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Here are two that I altered:

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It’s so disappointing when I take a picture of a beautiful pink streaked sky and it turns out looking orange in the picture! Blah! But i’m so happy I got pics of the sunrise this morning! Sometimes the sky really is bright orange! It’s beautiful when it’s really orange and not a simulated orange!  

Like here:

(this is a sunset)

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This is exactly how the sky looked that night. It’s completely unedited. It really was that bright, that dramatic, that orange! It was amazing to see! It looks so fake! It looked like some orange entity taking over the city! It was reflecting off all the windows on the cars and buildings. 

It was only that orange though on parts of the sky. I held/tilted my phone a certain way to make it look as if the entire city was drenched in orange.

Here is the same night:

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Driving into the sunset! 

They are not all the same picture. They are slightly different and none of those are altered.

But this one is one of the above ones altered with an app on my phone:

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I love both sunrises & sunsets. Sunrise is symbolic of new beginnings and hope. No matter what happens, the sun comes up in the morning. ❤

😀

Hugs & Love, ❤

xoxo Kim

Get to know me survey!!! yeeeaaa!!!

Nov10

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This is a little “get to know me better” bloggy survey!

So here, get to know me better! Lol ;-D

1.) Define yourself in eleven words. Playful, compassionate, alive, mindful, positive, trusting, happy, depressed (only sometimes), loving, amused, inspired

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2.) Are you an introvert or an extrovert?
I’m a very shy extrovert! I love my own company but also love to be around people! I’m not the life of the party, I’m the quiet girl waiting for someone to come talk to me but I feel very uplifted and energized and hopeful in a room full of people whether or not I know them, even if no one is talking to me. I may come off as reserved or socially anxious or introverted or a loner but that’s totally not the case! I’m just shy. But I eventually will open up. You’ll be sorry! Lol j/k

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3.) What kind of food won’t you eat?

Cantaloupe, Eww!

4.) Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Ahh, this question! I never much cared for it. Lol I just go with the flow, bask in the beauty of now. I’m not much of a planner, especially not that much into the future!

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5.) If you could trade places with one person for a day, who would you be?
This would probably be interesting but I’m not so sure I would trade places even for only a day. There’s no one I want to be other than me. It would be enlightening though to see the world through someone else’s eyes, to live and breathe as someone else. I may like to trade with multiple people throughout the day to get various perspectives. If I can only choose one, I would probably choose someone very different than me in some way like someone of a different culture or religious view or someone with an unusual experience so in combination with my own views and experiences, I can try to deepen my understanding of the world and others in general.

“She woke up every morning with the option of being anyone she wished. How beautiful it was that she always chose herself.” ~ Tyler Kent White

6.) What is your best quality? List two.
My compassion. I’m not always compassionate but generally I have very deep compassion for all living sentient beings, even those who seem difficult to me. I don’t always feel or act on compassion, I can be cold, an asshole, angry…but for the most part I’m very compassionate. And I try to get better and better.

Also my lighthearted attitude and how easily amused I am! I can be in severe pain, physical or emotional and still find laughter and lightness often. It’s a fantastic way to be. It’s so inspiring. Everything doesn’t have to be so serious.

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7.) What book has changed your life? Why? A book called 3:00am. I wrote about it here before! It’s a fictional murder mystery with the main character being someone with a very rare sleep disorder with no known cure and the book really conveys the message of how each minute, each moment, each breath we take is extremely valuable, important, worth acknowledging and savoring. The man in the book only has one hour each day to be awake so he plans literally every minute individually to get the most in life, he goes for a run, reads his favorite books, goes on the Internet, talks to his dad…and plans each and every minute to live to the fullest before he falls asleep for 23 hours. The story is a reminder that each of us only has these moments right here, right now. We don’t have this disorder but we too only have a limited number of minutes to be awake/alive

I don’t always live like this but after reading that book I am changed and realize and live in such a way more than I used to, so that each minute counts and is the best it can be.

“Let’s cherish every moment we have been given; the time is passing by…” ~ Kool & the Gang

Here are a couple excerpts:

“Those minutes are my life, I nearly scream. Those minutes that you take so much for granted because you get a thousand of them each day are priceless to me. Your life is measured by title, wealth, and status. My life is measured in grains of sand, trickling from one teardrop to the other.
My nostrils flare when I’m angry and I wonder if Ray feels a small gust of wind. Taking a calm breath, I ponder telling her that I’m Henry Bins and I have Henry Bins. I don’t.”

(Henry Bins is the disorder named after this man who was the first in the world to be diagnosed.)

“It’s like Christmas, each minute a beautifully wrapped gift just waiting to be opened. Should I allow myself an extra minute in the shower? Could I read three more pages of my book? Run another quarter mile? Watch a YouTube video? Watch the swimming pool scene from Wild Things, twice?”
Check out my post if you want:

https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/2014/10/30/300am/

8.) What is your biggest problem/s in life?
My depressive disorder but it’s not constantly severe or always a problem. It comes & goes. I’m naturally & generally happy & cheerful. But it always comes back to get me. Lol

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9.) Who is your role model?
I don’t have one. There’s really no one I try to be like and live up to. Except the Buddha, Buddha Shakymuni, I try to live up to his ways. I want my love, my compassion, my happiness, my selflessness…to mirror his. I don’t always succeed at it and still have a long way to go probably. I am very mortal, fragile, weak next to him, but it’s so good to try. I practice Buddhist meditation, listen to Buddhist songs, attend classes, have Mala recitation beads, and try to live each day inspired by Buddha and practice his Teachings. Dharma is my inspiration and guide. There’s so much I don’t know but I’m learning more & more about Dharma.

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10.) Do you have any insecurities? What are they? Yes, I have an insecurity that comes and goes, like my depression does, more likely when I’m depressed. I wish i had a lifelong friend, particularly another girl, who is like family/ sister. Sometimes I feel incomplete and less loved without that. I wish I had a few longterm friendships since we were very young.

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11.) What do you believe?
??? Well let’s see, I believe we are all One, One with each other, the whole uni-verse, nature, the stars and moon & sun, animals….I often feel very connected to others and the world around me. I always have since I was a little girl but never knew how to put it into words. I am all for universal love, wishing everyone the best, wanting everyone to be happy and well, not at the expense of others though. When one person wins, we all win. When one person or animal dies, a light goes out on all of us. Your suffering is my suffering, your happiness is mine. Even if someone gets the job I want, I can be happy for that person. If someone has what I desperately want and do not have, I can still be happy and congratulate the person. If it’s difficult at first, I can tune into my wisdom of Oneness.
I don’t always feel this way even though I believe it. Sometimes I’m depressed and do not feel connected to anyone or anything. Sometimes I’m lonely or jealous or uninspired. But I always find my way back.

12.) Does blogging enrich or better your life? Yes! Both the people I meet/communicate with and my own writing. I write for others and myself. I know every post may not be read by someone or “liked” or liked but it’s still worth it to write and share. It will always be here for anyone who may find it and for me. I don’t always publish everyday but I do write for the blog every single day. I am inspired almost everyday, some days the whole day, some days only one moment but each day I find something to inspire me or just feel inspired. I am inspired by what I read, see, feel…..and love to share and uplift or inspire others as well. Writing for here helps me think more clearly and in a more deep way. Sometimes my own writing inspires me! I have a whole collection since 2012 to look back on whenever I want. Once in a while WordPress suggests an old post to read after I publish a new one and I check it out and it’s years old and still so inspiring! It’s especially helpful when I’m depressed or in severe physical pain with a headache and I look back on an old post of mine and know I felt that way and can feel that way again. Other people’s positive thoughts and writing can be so uplifting, inspiring,and helpful but there’s a certain kind of hope and inspiration knowing I felt that way myself once and have it in me to feel that way again. My cover photo on Facebook says “Life is beautiful.” I don’t always feel that way. Often but not always. And when I’m depressed/suicidal or having an agonizing headache, when I see that, I am reminded that I once felt that life is beautiful and can feel that again. Can feel that way NOW! Or soon.

Most of the stuff I post here is timeless and can apply to anyone. I share my own experiences but try to in a way so anyone at all can relate. Not everyone has depression or headaches but when I write of my experiences with those, I try to make it so anyone can take any problem no matter how minor or serious, and relate. Most of us have basic empathy to relate to one another and we can deepen it.

I feel that writing for here also strengthens my positive attitude in general. It reinforces it, maintains it. I would be positive anyway mostly, but this deepens it and helps me be positive in moments I may not be without it.
It helps to strengthen my habit of looking on the brighter side of life. I write here of my struggles and my positive way of handling them. Sometimes I don’t feel like handling them positively but I am reminded of what I share here frequently and often get inspired to be more positive. It’s like a reminder to myself while also potentially helping or reminding others. And I love when I get comments, likes, and shares. ❤

Since I make this mostly a positive place but also genuine, I do admit my flaws and less than pleasant qualities and situations but I highlight my strengths and good qualities and it carries over into life off of the blog. I remember to admit my weaknesses but also appreciate my strengths and blessings more.

13.) What kind of music do you like to listen to?
I love all kinds but especially Oldies, country, and inspirational! I love love songs and ones with deep meaning and positive messages. I also like angry death metal! Lol! They never get old!

14.) four facts about yourself:

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1.) green & pink are two of my favorite colors
2.) if I were to die I would love if my organs can go to someone in need “Don’t take your organs to Heaven, Heaven knows we need them here!”
In fact, I would love to give one of my kidneys to anyone in need even when I’m alive. I heard the transplant is more likely to be a success with a living donor. Want my kidney? You can have it if you desperately need it to live(I’m not going to sell it to people trying to get money or something…)!! Just let me know. (if I’m allowed to give it, I heard living donors who want to give a kidney to a random stranger must endure some grueling hours of psychiatric evaluation. And I have severe, severe depression off & on but I’m not trying to die, I know what I’m in for! But the doctors may think I’m not thinking clearly because of my history of suicidal depression. But I can assure them I am! I just want to help! It is not without risks and won’t be always easy, but it’s worth it and the medical people make it as safe as possible. I want someone to live. I have two perfect, beautiful kidneys, I only need one!! I have no money so hopefully it doesn’t cost anything on my part! Lol) I don’t want anything in return other than someone living.
Since I was a young girl I have been deeply touched and inspired by the idea of organ donation even though I have never been personally touched by it.
I always had a strong desire to help.
I have known for as long as I can remember that I want my organs to go to someone else when I no longer need them. The only reason is that I want someone else to live. There are so many waiting for an organ and there are many organs that would save people’s lives but the person does not consent to donation. Every single eligible person can help.
I don’t care who they go to. People have asked me, “But what if your heart goes to a ‘nasty,’ ‘undeserving,’ ‘no good,’ …..or whatever other unpleasant adjective….person?!” First of all, most people are not nasty or no good. So that is unlikely. Also it’s better to take the chance of saving an “unworthy” person than not and a “good” person dies. But anyway, everyone deserves to live!

But I don’t judge those who refuse to donate their organs before or after death even though I wish everyone would after death! I understand and it’s your choice. Organ donation is a beautiful gift and it’s amazing how doctors can perform transplants! What a gift! To have parts of someone else to keep us alive! To give parts of our self to keep someone else alive! Incredible beauty!
Thank you doctors, nurses, technicians….& organ donors/families & beautiful people!! <333 ❤ Thank You, thank you!! So many people are alive NOW because of the love of organ donors and their families and the love and hard work of the medical professionals involved.

3.) I’m reading a beautiful novel, that I just found accidentally, about a heart transplant and the pain & beauty of the families involved, how one young woman lives because another young woman died, the guilt and gratitude she experiences and the resentment the dead woman’s husband has for the family who received the heart. It’s called “Irreplaceable” and conveys so many mixed emotions both painful and beautiful that all involved experience.
4.) I have hipbone length hair and don’t ever want it any shorter.

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15.) What eleven words do NOT typically describe you?
Motivated (I’m a lazy bum), organized (I’m a slob & a wreck), greedy (obviously! See above, I’m ready to give you my kidney!), athletic(sports bore me…and I’m lazy!), aloof(i love being close to others both physically and emotionally – I love hugs!), stressed(I’m often calm and handle things well and work well under pressure), dramatic (I’m quiet and balanced – usually), loud (I have a tendency to scream when people walk in my room {it could be an axe murderer for all I know!} but other than that you won’t even know I’m here!), tenacious (the description for zodiac sign for me, insists that I am/should be stubborn but I’m quite the opposite!, I am extremely easy-going, trusting, and have even been called a “push-over” on occasion!), sensitive (in the sense that I’m not easy to offended or hurt emotionally, I can handle constructive, jokes, sarcasm…), moralist/sanctimonious (I don’t like acting like I always know what is right or acting like I live better than anyone else)

Is that eleven? I sort of lost count! 😉

I hope your day is going amazingly!!

And hopefully you got to know me/know me a bit better?!

If you want, take the survey and let me know! I would just love to see your answers! One of my favorite things to read is “about me” pages & random facts about people. It’s so fun seeing little glimpses of who someone is. ❤

Hugs & love to you, always!

😀

Xoxo Kim

Hello, November

Nov1

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(Fall is always welcome in my heart!!)

Old friend,

We meet again!! 

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I see no reason not to be happy in this beautiful season!! Colorful and crunchy leaves decorating the streets, crisp air, cool nights, houses decorated for Fall, cheerful holiday tunes right around the corner (I already have a few Christmas songs on my playlist! To me, it’s never too early for Christmas cheer!), scarecrows & pumpkin pie, my little sister’s b-day!! Yay!!

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November is speckled with all kinds of gems of beauty & inspiration!

And it’s actually starting to feel like Fall now! It felt like Summer almost all October!

I couldn’t be happier! It almost doesn’t feel real! 😀

In honor of this lovely month, I’m sharing some quotes and my pictures! 😀

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“October extinguished itself in a rush of howling winds and driving rain and November arrived, cold as frozen iron, with hard frosts every morning and icy drafts that bit at exposed hands and faces.” ~J.K. Rowling

(I am not a Harry Potter fan but this is a beautiful quote!)

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“November comes
And November goes,
With the last red berries
And the first white snows.

With night coming early,
And dawn coming late,
And ice in the bucket
And frost by the gate.

The fires burn
And the kettles sing,
And earth sinks to rest
Until next spring.” ~Clyde Watson

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“But there is always a November space after the leaves have fallen when she felt it was almost indecent to intrude on the woods…for their glory terrestrial had departed and their glory celestial of spirit and purity and whiteness had not yet come upon them.” ~L.M. Montgomery

“In November, some birds move away and some birds stay. The air is full of good-byes and well-wishes. The birds who are leaving look very serious. No silly spring chirping now. They have long journeys and must watch where they are going. The staying birds are serious, too, for cold times lie ahead. Hard times. All berries will be treasures.” ~Cynthia Rylant

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“The November evening had a bite; it nibbled not-quite-gently at her cheeks and ears. In Virginia the late autumn was a lover, still, but a dangerous one.” ~J. Aleksandr Wootton

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“November is usually such a disagreeable month…as if the year had suddenly found out that she was growing old and could do nothing but weep and fret over it. This year is growing old gracefully…just like a stately old lady who knows she can be charming even with gray hair and wrinkles. We’ve had lovely days and delicious twilights.” ~L.M. Montgomery

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“In November, the smell of food is different. It is an orange smell. A squash and pumpkin smell. It tastes like cinnamon and can fill up a house in the morning, can pull everyone from bed in a fog. Food is better in November than any other time of the year.” ~Cynthia Rylant

I have always felt that food is always better in the cold. It tastes better and has a better feel. Somehow, my experience with severe, suicidal, long-term depression helped me realize this. It’s difficult to explain how. It’s just easier to be painfully and beautifully aware of things in a deeper way with a life of depression. Or something like that.

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“In November, the earth is growing quiet. It is making its bed, a winter bed for flowers and small creatures. The bed is white and silent, and much life can hide beneath its blankets.” ~Cynthia Rylant

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“In November, the trees are standing all sticks and bones. Without their leaves, how lovely they are, spreading their arms like dancers. They know it is time to be still.” ~Cynthia Rylant

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This wasn’t taken today but I’m dressed for Fall weather so why not share it here?! This was a few days ago! I don’t usually wear long sleeved shirts. I like sleeveless ones all year! 😀

“In November, people are good to each other. They carry pies to each other’s homes and talk by crackling woodstoves, sipping mellow cider. They travel very far on a special November day just to share a meal with one another and to give thanks for their many blessings – for the food on their tables and the babies in their arms.” ~Cynthia Rylant

This is one of the best things about the holiday season. I’m in this spirit all year but when the holiday season is near, I feel a sense of unity in the air and receive all kinds of subscription e-mails about gratitude & loving each other and kindness. Many people who aren’t in this spirit every day, get in the mood around now and it’s a beautiful atmosphere.

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“November came roaring in with gusty winds and more wet weather. Mandy’s depression would not go away. Her garden seemed sad, too. It was virtually empty now, and the few brave flowers that remained there were flattened by rain, their yellows stalks sprawling in all directions. Most of the trees were bare, and the woods had a wet carpet of leaves.” ~
Julie Andrews Edwards

This is sad but beautiful. I know what it is to be deeply, deeply depressed, I struggle with severe episodes that can feel unbearable and can relate. It always returns but it always ends. Even when I think it never will.

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“Flurries early, pristine and pearly. Winter’s come calling! Can we endure so premature a falling? Some may find this trend distressing- others bend to say a blessing over sage and onion dressing.” ~Old Farmer’s Almanac

So much wonder all around! I am overwhelmed! But in a good way!

I wanted to get some pictures outside but I was stuck at work all day and then when I got out it was very dark! Gets dark so early these days! Nightfall is so beautiful! ❤

I hope you like the quotes & pictures!! Happy November to you!! I'm sending you lots of love!

~Hugs~ ❤

😀

xoxo Kim

Boogers <3

Oct30

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So today I been eating boogers! Lol

They aren’t really boogers though(in case anyone thinks I really eat my boogers…).

They are candy made to look and feel (hopefully not taste?) like real boogers.

They have a pleasant after taste. 

Yum!

I don’t know though, have you ever seen real ones that look like this?!

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Lol

And they aren’t sticky or anything so I suppose they don’t feel like real ones. I don’t pick my nose (usually..lol jk never!) so I wouldn’t know. 

They are also very large for the real thing. 
I feel kind of sorry for you if your boogies are this big. :-/
And if they’re this green you may have a sinus/ear/throat infection, I think, but as I am not an infectious disease specialist, I wouldn’t recommend taking my word for it!

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They are supposed to be tangy and they do have a bit of a tang to them. But they also kind of taste like cheap plastic.(whatever that tastes like…)

I’m going to give out bags of boogers for Halloween tomorrow! It will be so funny when the little kids find them in their bags of candy! I give candy to older kids & adults as well but candy boogers are funnier for the little ones!

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I got the last bag! The boogies have been flying off the shelves; they’re quite the hit, it seems!

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I was out with my mom and saw this bag of boogers box and joyfully showed my mom who wasn’t as thrilled as me! Then I saw one bag left and said “look only one bag left!” And my mom, rolling her eyes knew that meant I wanted them and she said “just get them!!” lol

She thinks they’re nasstayyy!

;-D

They remind me of those Harry Potter jelly beans. Remember those? They were popular for a while. There was all kinds of bizarre flavors such as vomit, dirt, booger, earwax, Earthworm, soap, and also a couple normal flavors like cherry & apple & marshmallow ….kids in high school used to trick each other giving one another the most disgusting flavors! lol 

This reminds me of buttered popcorn flavored jelly beans! Oh my! They are DELICIOUS!! I haven’t had them in years and every now & then I remember them and have an intense craving for them! Not even like just a mood where I want them but an all out physical craving like a pregnant girl craves like pickles and ice cream or something! Lol 

I really have to find out where to buy those!  

Here are some of my pictures to brighten your day! 

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I got this pic walking to work today!

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I took this picture on my way to meditation class last night in Center City!

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I LOVE this!!! The Nightmare Before Christmas is my favorite!!

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The anniversary girl, Lacey!! ❤

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This is me!! 😀

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And someone threw this outside work tonight for me to have to clean up! Fun! But it’s ok it’s what kids are supposed to do, get into a lil bit of mischeif the night before Hallows Eve!! 😀

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My pumpkin pj shorts! ❤

And a song!

Sea Cruise – Johnny Rivers – mobile

Sea Cruise – desktop

Listen to the lyrics and see if you can guess why it’s somewhat appropriate for this post. Hint: it has a certain word in it.

(I’m very mature!! ;-D) 

Lots of love & boogers to you tonight & always!!!

😀 ❤

Xoxo Kim 

Rainy Day Bells

Oct28

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It’s a rainy day in Philadelphia today!! Raining all day & night!!

I was on a little excursion earlier today getting some lovely photos of green leaves covered in raindrops!  
I decided to get creative & share some of my pics here with some beautiful quotes!

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“In every change, in every falling leaf there is some pain, some beauty. And that’s the way new leaves grow.” ~Amit Ray

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“The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.” ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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“Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.” ~ John Ruskin

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“October is the fallen leaf, but it is also a wider horizon more clearly seen. It is the distant hills once more in sight, and the enduring constellations above them once again.” ~Hal Borland

Oh, October, I’m going to miss you!! But this month has felt more like Summer & Spring than Fall most days! I love all the Fall decorations I see all around the city! 

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“Every particular in nature, a leaf, a drop, a crystal, a moment of time is related to the whole, and partakes of the perfection of the whole.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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“Never say there is nothing beautiful in the world anymore. There is always something to make you wonder in the shape of a tree, the trembling of a leaf.” ~Albert Schweitzer

I agree but I wouldn’t be so demanding about it!

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“Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf.” ~Rabindranath Tagore

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“If words were leaves, would you prefer fall or spring?” ~Jarod Kintz

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I like Fall & Spring both. They both have beautiful qualities!  

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“He’d grown unused to woods like this. He’d become accustomed to the Northwest, evergreen and shaded dark. Here he was surrounded by soft leaves, not needles; leaves that carried their deaths secretly inside them, that already heard the whispers of Autumn. Roots and branches that knew things.” ~Michael Montoure

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Let’s grow unused to everything!! ❤

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This picture isn’t that good, it was supposed to be black & white with one green leaf but it did not work out! All the leaves are orange/yellow and one bright green. But the whole pic showed up looking all dreary and not in a good way. But I save most of my pictures even if they aren’t really good just because they’re mine and there may be some good to them. This is outside work tonight. 

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He was so happy to see me after work! He doesn’t like when I’m reading a book, writing, or using my phone, he wants all my attention to himself and insists on crawling on me when I’m doing anything that doesn’t involve him. So while I am attempting to write this post, he’s on me demanding attention. He doesn’t like having his picture taken and doesn’t like the “beep beep beep” of the camera. When he’s angry he hits his little face with his paws, sometimes one front paw, sometimes both! He just has always done this and his babies do too! It’s so cute!! I almost always stop what I’m doing to give him attention. ❤ ❤ His name is Emmy.

😀

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This is me at work tonight on a very slow rainy night!

And here’s a rainy song I used to listen to a lot a decade ago! 

Rainy Day Bells – The Globetrotters – desktop

Rainy Day Bells – mobile

I hope you’re having a beautiful day/night as I am! Lotsa love to you! 😀

❤

Xoxo Kim 

Headache

Oct26

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“Well, I found you
Maybe you can help me
And I can help you” ~ Frank Black

I woke up with the absolute WORST headache today! I woke up with it throbbing violently. It’s not the kind that feels like a cluster headache (those are the very worst) but feels like a bad migraine headache, which is also very bad. It’s like a living hell today. Eww! This pain is disgusting, it just throbs and aches and pulses in certain places escalating on and off all in the back, around the eyes…

For a while I couldn’t even listen to music, the sound even of low, slow, soft songs, was too much, just pounding into my head and made the throbbing worse. I thought it would make it better! Even the gentle soft notes felt shrill and rough against my head. I had to lay in bed with my dogs for a while, covering my eyes to block out any light. 

My dog, Emmy, he’s so adorable, he knew something was wrong with me and he kept putting his paw lightly on my face and licking my eyes! What a sweet boy! And he has a skin allergy he gets in Summer & the beginning of Fall but he was still more concerned about my pain. ❤ He knows when I'm depressed or lonely too and he tries to nurse me back to health. 

This is him:

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Isn’t he cute?!?! He’s a purebred pompom.

Laying down made it worse sometimes but I also couldn’t stand or sit up so had to lay a certain way. I felt as if there was no way out, nowhere to go, nothing to do. It’s not the kind that contributes to me feeling the urge to scream or run or panic or like I’m going literally insane but I felt so trapped and it was hard to remain still but also to pace. 

I had to work tonight and only one person works each shift so it’s not always easy to get off at the last minute. My mom suggested I try to find a coworker to work for me and stay home. 

But I decided to go. I don’t really like annoying people at the last minute and also I thought maybe it would be helpful to not give in to the pain and just do what I always do, get up, go to work, be positive. Not ignore or deny it but not let it conquer me. It can get us to have to stay in bed or not go to work but we don’t have to let it drag us down emotionally as well.  Sometimes pain or sickness is just too much and we just really cannot even stand up or do anything. For a while this is how it felt but I decided to get up and push through it. It throbbed so badly and at some points I almost felt despair. I wasn’t unhappy though, just unhappy about the headache. 

My physical pain disorder can be like this sometimes. Fortunately it’s not often that I have severe flare ups this bad. 

Anyway, I forced myself to get up and go to work. First I forced myself to do neck stretches and massages to try to help the pain. At first it can make it worse til it makes it better. This doesn’t always work but sometimes works wonders.  Today it worked. My pain remained but not as bad. It takes courage and emotional strength to get up and move with a violently pounding head. 

At one point the pain was so bad I slid to the floor with my head in my hands writhing in agony. And in the middle of all this I still found things to smile about! 😀

I remember laughing as I attempted to pick myself up off the floor. I couldn’t help but feel a bit amused. 

In some ways I feel the physical pain is worse than the depression because it’s harder to handle, in my opinion. It’s louder and demands attention right then. Sometimes I cannot lay down or remain still or do much of anything but collapse and scream or pace. But in some ways physical pain can be better because with physical pain it can sometimes be easier to dissociate in a way, it can be easier to still feel like smiling and laughing. It can strengthen our will to survive while depression often saps all the desire to laugh and the will to live. Not always but often it tends to do that. Physical pain can definitely sap our will to live and desire to smile but sometimes it’s easier than with emotional pain. Physical pain and mood can be separated. But depression is a mood or mood disorder so it’s kind of more difficult. It is possible though to be positive even with depression. It can be so difficult but possible. 

Also, emotional pain like depression seems threaded throughout my entire being or self or existence when I’m depressed. Physical pain related to my disorder consumes my entire existence it seems, but I often feel like it’s a thing separate than me while depression often runs deeper and feels like it is me sometimes. I’m thankful for the experience with pain. Both kinds. I feel that it deepens me and completes me and I see things in a way I would never know without it. I think I have had enough pain though in this life so it can feel free to go now! Lol ;-D I’m not depressed but last week I was able to detect an impending episode which I’m doing very well battling so it doesn’t become a full blown episode. Usually I have to battle it for weeks or months, however long the episode would have lasted, I guess. 

I was disappointed that my severe pain had to flare up on a day I have work. This kind of pain only usually lasts one day. Tomorrow is my day off and I was thinking why couldn’t it have decided to attack me then instead. But I’m more on the positive side, naturally & generally. And my brain automatically thought it’s ok because then my day off will be more fun without this pain! And if it was the other way around and my pain was on a day off, I can think it’s ok because then I won’t have to work in agony. Positive thinking is so wonderful! On days when it doesn’t come as naturally, I can usually force it more easily since I’m already in the habit. No matter how positive we are naturally, we can develop an intentional habit! It makes everything so much better! 

So I did come to work tonight and again there was a very happy story on the news!

I shared a little happy story a couple weeks ago about a dog and this story also involves a dog!

https://inspirationalgem.wordpress.com/2015/10/17/in-the-news/

On the news tonight, a girl and her husband were sharing their story and love for their dog.

They were at a friend’s cabin in the woods somewhere, celebrating the man’s 30th birthday, and someone left the door open and the dog, Hank, ran away into the wilderness. They did everything they were able to do but couldn’t find Hank. Their worst fear was that Hank was eaten by a wild animal. According to the news program, according to statistics, if a pet is gone for over 30 days, that pet most likely will not be back.

Hank was missing for two months when he was found alive & well and returned to his humans!
The girl said she looked out and saw the truck pulling up to their house with Hank’s head hanging out! Lol That’s so cute! She cried tears of joy to have him back. 

It’s so heartwarming to see the love they have for their furbaby. They have decorations in their house about dogs saying “All you need is love…and a dog!” and “Dogs are people too!”
I most certainly agree! ❤

I'm so happy they got their baby back alive & healthy & happy! They also have a cat and he was playing with the kitty! 

They said to always have hope because you never know when something can work in our favor even when statistics are not. I don't remember their exact words but that's the sentiment. It can apply to most things, I believe. 

It's good to have hope but let's remember not to let it hold us back. It's possible to obsess and overlook all that we have now, hoping for something more or better. So hope isn't always a good thing if not handled well. 

We can have hope for the future but also appreciate now.

For example, it's good to have hope that my headache will go away but not good to not let myself be happy now or hold off on things until it does. I can cope with the pain and make room for it, rest when I can, but still do what I want to when I can. I wasn't going to read my book at first because I thought it wouldn't be as fun reading it with a throbbing head. Then I thought but why not anyway because it's good to make the most of the life we have right now. If reading made it worse I wouldn't but it wasn't making it worse. This moment still matters even with a splitting headache. 

I'm so happy I walked into work to another happy story! Which just happens to be another story about a doggy!! ❤

Dogs really are some of the best friends we can have! I have six babies and they're just adorable! 

Here are two of them! 

This is Emmy

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 & 

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This is Woody, Emmy’s baby boy. 
Emmy has two babies, a boy & a girl, Quinny.

Emmy is two years old and Woody & Quinny are one year!

They are both loving and cute and snuggly.

Woody is very playful and wild. They love bones and toys & blankies.

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This is Prince Oscar. We don’t know how old he is but he’s definitely old! He’s so adorable and a big grump! He loves attention when we just wake up or walk through the door or even just down the stairs after leaving for a couple minutes! He cries until he gets petted.  He also loves sweets! Sometimes I bring him an ice cream cone after work. 

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This is my baby, Isis Summerjo, she is eight years old but very youthful! 
She loves attention and going for walks! She’s extremely gentle and loving & sweet.

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This is Woody’s twin sister, Quinny. She’s so happy & loving and gently puts her paw on our hands and on the other dogs’ and cat’s faces! She’s very gentle but when we’re least expecting it, the girl jumps up and nips our noses off! She’s a wild girl!  

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This is Boobie. She’s the mommy and she’s thirteen years old. She’s very cute and loves her babies. She makes sure they eat first and she cleans them. She begs for food by throwing her head back and opening her mouth to show us where food goes! She doesn’t play with toys but occasionally she would bring a toy to look cute to get our food! Lol so cute!! When her puppies were born we got them a pac n play and Boobie used to throw up in it on purpose to feed her babies even though they couldn’t eat it and were being fed properly! Lol my mom & sister found it disgusting! But she was only taking care of her babies! 

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“I got me so down, I got me a headache
My heart is crammed in my cranium and it still knows how to pound”

Headache – Frank Black – mobile

Headache – desktop

I like listening to this upbeat song and I found it one day a couple years ago while searching for songs about physical pain to help me cope with my headaches when they are bad.

I hope your day/night is a good one! Much love to you!

and if you are struggling with pain of any kind, always remember,

“You can be greater than anything that can happen to you.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale ❤

😀

xoxo Kim

Some Sunday inspiration for you {photos, quotes, and other goodies}

Oct11

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Here is a list of inspiring/thought-provoking/lovie quotes and some of my pictures! 

“We shape clay into a pot,
but it is the emptiness inside
that holds whatever we want”

We can do and be anything on the outside but always keep that emptiness within, reserve a place inside to be love, light, bliss…

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“Although gold dust is precious, when it gets in your eyes, it obstructs your vision.” ~ Hsi Tang

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“To seek is to suffer. To seek nothing is bliss.” ~ Bodhidharma

This is a very wise concept. It’s good to have goals and desires but it’s also good to let go once in a while and just be. Be without getting attached to goals, people, places, situations, things…

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“Detachment is not that you should own nothing, but that nothing should own you.”

“The highest state of love is not a relationship at all, it is simply a state of your being.” ~ Osho

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“Learning to let go should be learned before learning to get. Life should be touched, not strangled.” ~ Ray Bradbury

Yes, let go, disown, accept, BE.

“Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace.” ~ Dalai Lama

This is a good one if you’re stuck being around people acting negatively. We can’t always surround our selves with only positive people and sometimes have to interact with or be near people with negative energy and vicious intentions or just bitter, miserable seeming people. But we do not have to let them destroy our INNER peace. I can be whatever I want inside no matter what is going on around me. No one can drag us down if we don’t allow it. Our environment can be chaotic, negative, even abusive but we can remain calm and positive within. True peace isn’t necessarily a peaceful external environment. True peace is being calm and undisturbed INSIDE, whatever our outside is like. 

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“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.”

Yessir!!

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“When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” ~ Zen proverb 

When we open up and become receptive, we will see teachers everywhere, in the form of people, situations, things, encounters….
They are always around, we just aren’t always ready to receive. 

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I love how in these pictures it look like a gray sky kind of day but the sky was really quite blue that day! It was so bright blue with big fluffy clouds looking all pretty! I was amazed at the beauty and size of the clouds and took the pictures in a way so only the clouds can be seen around the trees.

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Look closely, you’ll see the blue shining through! This is the same day and so are the ones above these three pics! All blue skies!! 😀

“Flow with whatever may happen
And let your mind be free.
Stay centered by accepting whatever 
You are doing.
This is the ultimate.” 

We can try to help things when we can but when we can’t, it’s good to accept, just breathe and be and go with the flow.

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Seatbelts save lives so buckle up, buttercup!

And it may save you a traffic ticket or whatever. I couldn’t care less if you get a ticket though, (you deserve one if you aren’t wearing a safety belt anyway) it’s your life and safety I care about.

Even if I don’t know you, I want you to be safe and LIVE! ❤ ❤ ❤

“Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to first let go of the idea that there is a problem.”

It’s all about that attitude!

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“Surrender to what is.”

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“For sentient beings, poor and destitute, May I become a treasure ever plentiful, And lie before them closely in their reach, A varied source of all that they might need.” ~ Shantideva 

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“What we learned as children, that one plus one equals two, we know to be false. One plus one equals one. We even have a word for when you, plus another, equals one, That word is LOVE.”

How cheesy! Lol But cute! You know I love my sap!

❤

“If with kindly generosity one merely has the wish to soothe the aching heads of other beings, such merit has no bounds.” ~ Shantideva

I know people often say actions speak louder than words and it doesn't matter what we feel or think if we don't act, and in some cases it seems true but I also think that just what we are, what we wish for, our energy…is important. 
We can't always act on what we feel or want and we sometimes, for whatever reason, may just choose not to, but that doesn't take away what we are or want. Just being, is often enough. Well wishes for others is sometimes enough even when we don't express them. What if I see someone suffering and want more than anything to stop it, even if I have to put all the pain on me and bear the burden myself, but for some reason I can't or won't take action or take action but it doesn't work, at least I still have the wish and desire to stop it which is better than not caring or even wanting to add to the pain. What if I see someone on TV suffering or hear of a tragic war in another country and can't do shit about it, that doesn't obliterate my love and compassion. They count for something! And when we feel compassion, we are often more likely to act in compassionate ways. 

“Sometimes people are beautiful.
Not in looks.
Not in what they say.
Just in what they are.” ~ Markus Zusak 

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“Courage to the fearful,
Freedom to the enslaved,
Strength to the weak,
Mutual affection 
To all sentient beings.” ~ Shantideva sentiment

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This thing, it’s superdelicious!!!!! A caramel apple with chocolate and peanut topping!! oh, my! I have been eating them everyday!! so yummy! The red apples are sweeter, jucier, and tastier than the green! mouthwatering!! ❤ 😀 Delectable! One of my favorite things about Fall!

“Out beyond ideas of wrong-doing and right-doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phrase ‘each other’ doesn’t make any sense.”

Thank you, Bill ( https://worldstrata.wordpress.com/ ), for sharing this one with me!!

“How wonderful will it be when All beings experience each other as limbs on the One body of life.” ~ Shantideva 

WE are all in this together!  

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This is my baby, my friend today! These things are so cute! I never share their pics on facebook because I don’t think most people feel the affection for them I do and while going through their news feed and seeing this, their heart will probably skip a few beats and not in a good way! I don’t think it’s as startling to see pics here of them, they are smaller pictures here, I think and it’s not like one individual picture just in your face. If i’m wrong and you are freaked out, sorry. I just have so much love for kreepy krawlies, no one can imagine or understand. And I want to capture and share their beauty & cuteness. I’m so thankful for their lives. ❤ I will save them every chance i get. 😀

And since I'm in the Halloween spirit, here's Michael Jackson's Thriller for you!

Thriller – mobile

Thriller – desktop

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“You hear the door slam
And realize there’s nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand
And wonder if you’ll ever see the sun
You close your eyes
And hope that this is just imagination
But all the while
You hear a creature creepin’ up behind
You’re outta time
‘Cause this is thriller
Thriller night”

Much0 luv to you! ❤

😀

Xoxo Kim 

😀

Xoxo Kim 

Another Fall in Philadelphia <3

Sep23

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So, it seems I have this tradition each year now where I post a blog entry called something along the lines of “Another Fall in Philadelphia” and share Hall & Oates’ song, “Fall in Philadelphia.” lol Hall & Oates are the best! And they are Philadelphia boys! Like me! (except I’m not a boy…)

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And they attended Temple University! Like me again!
I am thrilled every year when it’s about to be Fall!
I love the whole Fall theme, pumpkin spice and everything nice! Pumpkins, hot cocoa, tea, hayrides and crunchy leaves, haunted houses and the Eastern State Penitentiary! Cool nights & hoodies! Crisp air and Halloween, the bright colored leaves all around! The whole thing! 

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So in honor of this lovely season on its first day, here are some sweet Autumn quotes! As well as some of my pictures, the best Fall-like pictures I was able to get. It’s not exactly lookin’ (or feelin’) a real, real lot like Fall out there yet. It’s cooler at some points and there are some signs of Fall but it’s not raining crispy colored leaves all over just yet. And it’s hot as hell outside but I’m loving every second! 

Here goes!

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“Autumn carries more gold in its pocket than all the other seasons.” ~ Jim Bishop

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“Bittersweet October. The mellow, messy, leaf-kicking, perfect pause between the opposing miseries of summer and winter.” ~Carol Bishop Hipps, “October,” In a Southern Garden, 1995

I love all four seasons. Summer is my least favorite (I don’t like the heat waves and humidity at all but regular summer days are lovely) and Winter is my favorite with Fall right up there with it. But I agree that Summer & Winter have “opposing miseries” and Fall is perfect. Winter & Summer can both be painful, one with the scorching heat and sticky haze, the other with the blasting cold and slippery ice. Spring is beautiful too with lovely qualities that the other seasons don’t have much of but can tend to be like Summer in its excessive heat. Autumn is just flawless for sure! ❤ 

“No spring nor summer’s beauty hath such grace
As I have seen in one Autumnal face….” ~John Donne, “Elegy IX: The Autumnal”

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“Oh how we love pumpkin season. You did know this gourd-ish squash has its own season, right? Winter, Spring, Summer, Pumpkin…. We anxiously anticipate it every year.” ~Trader Joe’s Fearless Flyer, October 2010

So do I! All year! 

“October’s poplars are flaming torches lighting the way to winter.” ~Nova S. Bair

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“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”

Isn’t it something how someone can be just so THRILLED over weather and a season?! I couldn’t be happier if I just won a free shopping spree! 

Lol 

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The last Philadelphia Summer sunset til next year. Beautiful, isn’t it?

I will miss all the little flying insects and pretty flowers. </3 ❤

And here it is! Hall & Oates' thrilling song!

Fall in Philadelphia – mobile

Fall in Philadelphia – desktop

(I absolutely love the container of oates! hilarious!!) ;-D :-p

Unfortunately it’s not the most cheerful song about our wonderful city!

It’s about how it’s all dreary and gray and their house is falling down, and we’re all hopeless and people are getting rich selling dope and a boy named Johnny is getting his ass kicked, and they want to escape out into the country. Anywhere but here. 

How rude! 

What a lovely picture they paint of us!

;-D

Oh, well. It’s still has my heart. ❤

And here's another one of my favorite songs, a sweet love song sung by Paul Davis, perfect for Fall nights!

 Cool Night – mobile

Cool Night – desktop

Also, today is my mom’s b-day! She loves Fall and how her special day is on the first day of Fall! She said her name should have been Autumn but instead it’s Lee, short for Leona. She’s named after my grandmom. My sister and me bought her a big vanilla scented candle. Vanilla is her favorite. ❤ At least it cheered her up! She wasn't happy because my little sister and me got into a stupid, trivial argument today (I started it…oopps! Sometimes I can totally be an asshole but at least I’m honest about it, right?!)!

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So Happy Fall to you!  😀

Xoxo Kim 

P.s. Thank You so so much to everyone who reads, likes, shares, follows, lurks, “likes”, reblogs….my content! I deeply appreciate it! When I set up this blog account three years ago, I never expected to have even just a few people read it but I always knew even if just one person comes across my content once in a while, that would be amazing. If just one person is uplifted or inspired that is good enough.
And when we post something it’s here forever so even if no one sees it til years later, it always has the potential to be seen. And that’s good! 😀
But I’m so honored and filled with gratitude for all those who visit here. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! ❤ 😀 Hugs & love to you! ❤

30 Days of Photos – Day 22 – {Ordinary Angels} <3

Sep18

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“It is extraordinary how extraordinary the ordinary person is.” ~ George Will 

The topic for Day 22 of the 30 days photo challenge is to get a photo of random people. 

August 22nd was day 22 for me.

It’s kind of rude taking pics of people without permission so it’s best, in my opinion, if this is done while their backs are turned or the picture is blurred or something or just show part of the person in a way that can’t be identified. Unless we ask for permission, which I’m not bold enough to do! Lol

I LOVE people! To most people I probably seem reserved or introverted. I have been mistaken for someone with social anxiety and even called “anti social” or a “loner” more than once. These are not at all true. I am very calm, although very shy in social settings, some more than others, if I don’t know the people well or don’t see them very often. It does take a while sometimes for me to open up but only because I’m shy, not because I am scared, anxious, or not trusting or not open or anything. I’m just the opposite. I’m extremely trusting of people in general, even strangers and people who have betrayed me before. It’s just my nature to be very trusting. And I’m very open to sharing my experiences and opinions when I do get talking, even ones that may be controversial or less than pleasant.

To me, being shy doesn’t feel like anxiety or fear or nervousness. It feels more similar to “awkward” or “embarrassed” though not exactly that. It’s impossible to put into words and people have always asked me why I’m so shy. There’s no specific reason. I just am. I’m the shyest one but also the most extroverted one in my family. I’m nowhere near as shy as when I was a kid. Then I struggled with crippling shyness. 

And “anti social” does not mean what many people think it does. It’s actually an inclination towards criminal activity or violence or aggression, not just someone who prefers to be alone or doesn’t like people. I am not anti-social in either sense.
 
And I’m certainly no loner. I love and often long to be around people. I wish I had lots more friends and a bigger family or knew more people in my family and everywhere. I’m just shy and don’t have many friends, it’s not because I want to be this way. I just am. I am a very shy extrovert! But it’s mostly not a problem. It doesn’t hold me back. If I wasn’t so shy when I was young though, I would probably have more friends. 

So I love the topic for Day 22 because people are something I love. 

I got one picture of people that day, not with their backs turned but luckily it turned out blurred enough so they can’t be identified or I wouldn’t have put it on or would have tried to blur it myself. I looked up the street and the scene looked pretty and two people were walking up and I took the pic and I’m happy with it. 🙂 It’s not the best but it’s a good attempt!

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And here are some more pics I got on different days of random people/ordinary angels:

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I think every person has potential and a light to be lavished onto the world and I believe people are basically good with good intentions.

It’s also my belief that no one is better than anyone no matter what religious or political views, gender, race, skin color, nationality, gender identity, weight, ethnicity, size, sexual orientation, living situations, financial status, job, physical appearance…

Beauty comes in various forms. And every life matters! 

I think we are all one and all connected and can help each other and deepen our compassion and love for others.

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It’s true what the quote above says, the average or “ordinary” person is extraordinary. We all have love to provide to someone and can do something no matter how seemingly simple or small, to help heal, inspire, or uplift someone.

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Here is one of my absolute favorite songs! A beautiful country song about how every one of us has some ability to help another in some way. We don’t need money, a job, don’t have to be famous or have lots of power or be popular or look any certain way…all we need is a compassionate heart and a desire to reach out to someone. ❤

Ordinary Angels – mobile

Ordinary Angels – desktop

”
It could be someone walking down the street
A stranger on a bus
A little kid on his way to school
Or any one of us
We all got a little superman ready to take flight
And save a life, oh save a life
Take a look around and you’ll see ordinary angels” ~ Craig Morgan

I love this song and the message that any one of us can do something, even the simplest thing like just smiling at someone, to help turn someone’s day or even life around for the better.

❤

There are an infinite amount of ways we can help, uplift, or brighten someone’s day whether the person is a stranger to us, a coworker, a friend or family member…we can genuinely compliment the person, look for the good in others, choose to understand someone who is being difficult or unpleasant instead of criticizing in a negative way or judging, understand that even the most loving, selfless people make mistakes and can act in a selfish or rude manner, leave one dollar on a park bench or bus seat for a stranger to find, write an uplifting note to a friend or for someone to stumble upon, write loving messages to people on social media, use our accounts for positivity and goodness, let someone in front of us in line at a store, give up our seat for someone else, feed homeless animals, put insects outside instead of killing them, choose to forgive and move forward, smile at a person who rudely bumps into us in a crowded place or gives us an unpleasant glare, practice patience, wish someone the best, show kindness to everyone we encounter, put money in a tip or donations jar, try to make someone laugh, send an anonymous gift to a struggling single mother or father, listen attentively to someone in distress without offering unsolicited suggestions or solutions, hug someone, encourage someone, help a child or old person cross a street, hold our tongue when we feel like saying something unnecessary and unkind, use our own pain to deepen our compassion for others ….so many ways!! We don’t need any certain paid or volunteer job or any job to help someone each & every day. We can all inspire and uplift others in every day, ordinary contexts no matter who or what we are.

Much love to you!

❤

xoxo Kim 😀

Head in the clouds {cloudy update} <3

Aug16

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In my last post I wrote about how there were no clouds today. But now there are! Just a few but I’m sharing the photos of the ones I captured and some quotes!

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“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.” ~  Rabindranath Tagore

“Forests, lakes, and rivers, clouds and winds, stars and flowers, stupendous glaciers and crystal snowflakes – every form of animate or inanimate existence, leaves its impress upon the soul of man.” ~
Orison Swett Marden

“People ask me when I’ll get my head out of the clouds, I tell them never, I like this view.”

Much0 love to you!

❤ 😀

~ Kim