Tag Archive | love

Mood & Gratitude

Aug18

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I’m in a bit of a low mood today. Not for any specific reason. There are some negative things which are contributing to it, like a few people trying to hinder me or hold me back and not let me be or express my true self without them being problematic about it. Taking advantage, intentionally causing trouble. When you’re someone who is shy, quiet, extremely generous, kind, and very caring, people do tend to see what they can get away with and then go all out to take full advantage.

As I have written here before, I struggle with a severe form of depression. And ordinary low moods have the potential to send me into a downward spiral, sinking me lower & lower into a full blown episode of depression and despair. But through the years I have learned to often detect when that is happening and I can often prevent it before it drags me in. It’s hard. Really difficult because when I’m going into a real depression I have no motivation to even try to stop it. I’m tempted to let it just drag me in. Not because I want to be depressed but because low moods and depression can just make someone not want to even try.

But I have to try. I have to because depression is destruction and has destroyed me for months then happy then back for months but I rebuilt myself, mustering all the strength I was able to find in me, and I recreated myself into someone who wants to live more frequently. Someone with zest and passion and love for life and existence.

I don’t want to go back to that dark place where I have dwelled for years off & on. But I haven’t been suicidal for 10 months now. TEN months?!?! TEN months!!! That’s the longest I have not been suicidal (in some degree/form) for about 14 years! I was always only able to go for four months, without thinking about it in some way or contemplating it since 13 years old. This is an incredible accomplishment for me. I could be happy for like four months then suicidal like 4 days or some weeks/months then happy again for a few months. Off and on like that.

I worked on myself constantly in the last three years to better myself and sculpt myself into everything I am now. I am my own masterpiece. And I love it.

Depression for me, all those years, wasn’t just a mood. It was an entity that dwelled within me and lingered around me. A sickness. A darkness. It lived and breathed in me. It would come & go so frequently.

It was so ingrained into me like my dna. My hair color, eye color, skin color. Feeling just as much a part of me as any of those things. It would stay for months.

It made me a monster.

But now. I’m not a monster anymore.

I am just me. This girl.

I still have episodes of depression, sometimes severe, but they are less frequent, usually not as deep, not as long lasting, and there’s no more less severe depression in the middle of severe bouts of agonizing depression. Just happiness. Before I would be happy in the middle but not as frequently.

I’m back now. I’m a happy girl. More often than before! 😀

Maybe my depression will always come and go. But it’s no longer so frequent, and I feel a sense of happiness underneath when Im depressed even more than before. And I can still usually stay positive to some degree even with it.

So today I am trying hard to let this low mood not escalate to despair. I have a strengthened life philosophy now that will not let me go back to that dark place to the extent it used to be.
One of my life theme songs can be “A Whole New World “. What a beautiful song and it fits me so perfectly.

I love Brad Kane/Lea Salonga’s version.

I have some control before it turns fullblown. Once it hits that point though, I don’t have much control. So I empower myself before it gets to that point.

One way is to focus on the goodness within me and around me. Simple things. Big things. Beautiful things. Inspiring quotes, music, people, poetry, writings….

And writing here. I have so much to write here but I don’t write here nearly as much as I would like to. It is not because of lack of inspiration or interest or desire. Not at all.

I don’t really post many simple posts just about what I did that day. I mostly make my posts about inspirational life lessons, analysis, inspiration…stuff like that. personal development stuff.

I like to help others & myself and this is a great way. It helps me to write and can maybe inspire people who may stumble upon it.

I’m happy this post seems to have turned out on the more inspiring, uplifting, positive side, than the pissing & moaning, bitchfest it maybe could have been. Lol. 😉

Here’s a quick gratitude list for today.

I’m thankful….

1.) I got to see my good friend, Mike, yesterday for his birthday and it was really fun!

2.) I’m not often in pain

3.) I learned to cope well with depression.

4.) the coming Fall! Oh how I LOVE that season.

5.) music.

6.) my fur and feather friends.

7.) I don’t have sleep problems.

8.) I like my job

9.) my senses

10.) my bed and blankets

11.) future possibilities

12.) the sky, the sun, the moon, the beauty of Nature

13.) my phone and all the apps and things on it that help me with my personal development journey and are just fun!

14.) books

15.) philosophy

16.) quotes

17.) ten months with no suicidal thoughts or contemplation

18.) the great people I get to meet and interact with at work everyday. I love seeing the families and little kids and love the way their eyes light up and they giggle when they ask for something and they are satisfied or beyond satisfied when I give them it, children & adults alike. I love brightening people’s days and when they brighten mine.

19.) chocolate

20.) shopping malls

21.) gratitude

22.) mom & sister

23.) The book “The Secret Garden”! I have a blog post I’m going to write about this incredible, amazing, beautiful book!!

24.) BlackBerry Kindle

25.) food. Yum! Lol

Yup! I’m blessed. Beyond blessed.

Just focusing on a gratitude list can be so uplifting.

Please check out this lovely page:

http://www.dreamthisday.com/quotes-sayings/inspirational/

For inspirational quotes, writings, and ideas and some gentleness.

Two little words that can make the difference: START NOW.
– Mary C. Crowley

Be avid.
Create apart from perfection.
Risk failure.
Cover your words with sweat.
Run a little
Touch excruciatingly.
Laugh until you cry.
Dance with your eyes closed.
Care.
Understand you die a little in every moment.
Be Enlivened
– Mary Anne Radmacher

Many blessings to you all too.

Xo Kim
😀

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You Can’t Please Everyone

Aug18

…. ..so you got to please yourself. ~ Rick Nelson

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“May you soar on eagle wings, high above the madness of the world.”
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Just be you. Which means, live how you see fit for you, not how you think you “should ” live. As long as
Continue reading →

Dandelions

Aug4

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(I took this lovely pic with my phone!!!)

“When you look at a field of dandelions, you can either see a hundred weeds or a hundred wishes” ~ Unknown 

I love taking walks and taking pictures of all the incredible wonders I see around me. My mom often scolds me and my little sister gets annoyed because when we’re outside walking to a store or walking the doggy.  I stop every other second to snap a picture of some beauty I see before me. I see beauty & inspiration everywhere I look. I’m not a photographer ; I merely take pictures with my cell phone.   It takes amazing pictures. I’m constantly taking pictures of the sky, usually sunsets and the bright azure sky dappled in white fluffy clouds.I love pictures of birds and insects.

Words cannot truly express the way it feels when I look up at the sky During a sunset or a bright sunny Afternoon or when I look out a window at the sunrise when the new dawn is awakening or looking out the window seeing, listening to the rain or seeing snow falling before my eyes, and the scents the rain brings forth, I love the feel of cool breezes in the summer and the warmth of heat in the crisp Wintery magic. I love the seasons changing and the taste of sweet fruit and chocolate sundaes.   And beautiful , vibrant colorful flowers. 

When I look at all of the incredible, wild joys of Nature, life surges through my veins, my heart races at the breathtaking beauty. My veins throb with life, electricity pulses through me like a thousand heartbeats.

It comes naturally to me. I’m very aware of the beauty that all of my senses allow me to experience each moment of each day. 

But, although this generally comes naturally to me, I have made a conscious decision to strengthen my natural ability and habit of being mindful of the simple pleasures of life and making it a general habit even when it’s hard to see beauty. Some days it seems there’s nothing but ugliness all around. But even on those days,I have the choice to look for wonder. It may not naturally pop out at me like usual but I can look and I can find, hard as it may be.

In this life there is an incredible abundance of wonder and joy and beauty. By being blessed with life, we have the chance to take advantage of this. Take advantage of being alive. Instead of trudging through life in a sense of hopeless drudgery, we can choose to learn and practice being truly and fully alive.  

Here are some ways I have strengthened my natural ability to see simple joys everywhere and ways I think can be helpful to people. Not everyone has that natural ability but even ones who don’t can learn & practice .

1.) Breathe and inhabit your body. Your body, which is you is here now. Not in the past, not in the future. Here, now. You’ll never, ever go back to the previous moments you once lived and you can’t change them. And the future is always just out of your reach. When the future arrives, it is now your present, all you will ever have is now. Make this your conscious reality.
Take notice of the way your body feels right NOW. All the sensations, the pleasures, the pain, relaxed parts, stressed parts, stiff parts, numb parts, healthy parts…

2.) Try not to force yourself to not think about other things or about your past or future. When you try to intentionally not think about something, it tends to pop into your head more frequently.   Instead focus on what is here.

3.) Practice mindfulness meditation. Meditating regularly will help you develop better control over your thinking and even when you’re not meditating you will be better able to live in the present.

https://livingmindfully.org/
http://www.meditationoasis.com/

4.) slow down. When you’re constantly in a hurry you can’t take pleasure in much of anything.

5.) Try to create a schedule everyday or almost everyday where you can take a few minutes, hour, or hours to do nothing but something that brings you immense joy and serenity.   Walks in nature, observing natural settings, drawing, running, taking pictures,  things like that and soak up all the beauty.

6.) really, truly look. Look and see what is around you. Don’t just give it a quick, passing glance. Let the feelings it provokes in you, surge through you and cherish those feelings.

7.) I think about all of the people who have died and who have never been born or created/conceived to begin with. What they wouldn’t give (if they could know) to have a chance to live or to live again and feel, experience what I can because I am Alive. 

8.) I think about if everything I have ever known, ever loved, ever owned or possessed just disappeared temporarily, unexpectedly and then all came back. How would I feel then? Would it awaken me? Make me realize how wonderful, how miraculous, how joyous it all truly is?

9.) stop waiting.   “People wait all week for Friday, all year for Summer, all life for happiness.”. You may not have all you want right now but you can still be generally happy and joy-filled. You don’t need that perfect weather, that perfect day of the week, that perfect lover, that perfect body. All you need is life. All you need is now. Right now. You got it!

“Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow. Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so. One day I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow, or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want, more than all the world, your return.”

― Mary Jean Irion

     
“Oh the wild joys of living! The leaping from rock to rock … the cool silver shock of the plunge in a pool’s living waters.”
 Robert Browning quotes

“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.” ~
Albert Einstein

Paul Valéry – “To see is to forget the name of the thing one sees.”

 

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Me.

Xo Kim

When Encountering Difficult People

Jul21

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Not everyone you meet in your life will be easy going, light hearted, friendly, and warm. Some will be difficult, unpleasant,  extremely rude, outright miserable and hard to handle.

For many people, even the usual friendly, kind people, the natural reaction is to respond with the same coldness and angry temperament that the difficult person dishes out.

This doesn’t mean they are bad or unkind people for responding or wanting to respond that way, it’s just that other people’s moods and attitudes often impact or influence our own.

But it doesn’t always have to be that way. We can choose to rise above the negativity of others.

I work at a store and most of my customers are extremely kind and friendly and so grateful for my service and very expressing of that gratitude.  

And even the few people who aren’t the friendliest are not usually blatantly rude or difficult. 

But on extremely rare occasions I get one who is.

A few weeks ago I was training a new girl and a man, who is an old man,  came for ice cream.  There was a misunderstanding and he gave me way too much money and walked away without his change. I called him back and gave him his change and he started yelling very bitterly that he should actually get back more change.  

He left very angry.  And I was so annoyed and felt a surge of anger at him.

Then he recently came back very angry and loud and yelled “Give me two small ice creams you hear me!!!! Two small ice creams!!!”. His attitude was lousy.  

But I was in no mood to react angrily or be rude to him. I just saw him as a person with desires and needs and I smiled at him and got what he wanted. I made it easy for him to carry his ice cream by putting them in a small box. I asked him if he needed napkins and my tone was very friendly. Genuinely friendly.   I felt compassion for him. He is a person with needs and desires, no less worthy of compassion and kindness than I am.

I was amazed when his face lit up and he smiled at me brightly. He said “Have a great night, hun!”. And was very friendly as he was leaving.

His whole expression and physical movements changed. He became lighter and softer. All because my interaction with him was pleasant.

Imagine if I would have perpetuated the hostility with a bitter tone. It would have made him more bitter, more negative, more hostile.   Which in turn, could have made me more angry. And on and on.

I would have never seen his good side and he would have not seen mine. I gave us both the chance to truly see each other.

He came back another night and was friendly as can be. Smiling and happily greeting me. Sometimes people get the wrong impression of another person or mis judge or make inaccurate assumptions based on things that are not true or real or what they seem.

People should not act on first judgments but they often do.  We should not assume something and act before knowing but sometimes that is exactly what we do.

Maybe the man got the wrong impression of me for whatever reason and reacted based on his thoughts or feelings about it.

But it’s my job to show him who I really am. So that’s what I did.

Things will not always go this smoothly. Some people will be bitter and negative towards you no matter how kind, gentle, and warm you are with them. That’s just the way some people are. But you do not have to react back that way.

But the choice is yours.

You are not a horrible person for coming back at people or resorting to angry comments or even slinging an insult now and then.

While there are better ways to handle unpleasant situations, we occasionally (or maybe even often) may get caught up in the heat of that moment and react negatively or non effectively. 

Sometimes I feel like reacting negatively to people when they are difficult and unkind.

Then I remember this quote :

“Don’t treat people as bad as they are.   Treat them as good as you are.” ~ Unknown

And it inspires warmth in me. It’s not only treating that person well but being true to myself. I can be above treating people horribly or negatively. There will always be rude and bitter people and I believe that is ok.

There are various kinds of people in this life. Not all of them good and pleasant. We can’t and should not control anyone but ourselves. We can make attempts to influence and impact one another for the better but that’s all.

Try to influence negative people with your positivity not let their negativity influence you.

It’s good to be affected by others. Both negatively and positively.   It makes us fully alive. Who wants to walk around like a zombie or robot and be shielded, completely, against the world? Not letting anyone in?

People are good and bad. The world is good and bad. Life itself is good and bad. And being affected is part of living.

But we can work to not allow ourselves to be too worked up, destroyed, or depressed or anxious over the thoughts, actions, and feelings of others. 

There’s an amazing book called, “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff (and it’s all small stuff) by Richard Carlson 

And in this book one of the author’s suggestions to help us feel more compassion for difficult people is to imagine them as a newborn infant or a 100 year old person who has not much longer to live.

At one point all of us were newborn children and if we are blessed enough, at one point we will be very old. The man feels that this may put things in perspective for us.  

Babies and very old people need and deserve love, warmth, and compassion
And their age often reminds us of that.And we can work to extend that to others of all ages when they are troubling us.

Remember when you get caught up in other people’s bitterness, negativity, cruelty, and anger, at least you are not them!

I hope you are having an amazingly beautiful day full of love & light & laughter! 😀

Xox0 Kim

” When you are in an upsetting situation, try loving everyone involved and pray for them, hard as they may be. Loving doesn’t mean sentimentality but rather a rational esteem for them as persons.” ~ Norman Vincent Peale

Here comes the sun…..

Jul5

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And I say It’s all right, little darling. ❤

 

This may be the most perfect picture I have ever taken. The sun was astoundingly beautiful today. A gorgeous golden celestial gem hanging up there in the vibrant blue sky as a symbol of hope to us all.

 

“That man is richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.” ~ Thoreau, Henry David

 

I saw the movie, “The Heat” today. Very funny & cute movie.   I laughed all the way through. Very sweet theme and I would watch it again and again. I don’t watch TV shows at all and usually only movies in the theatre and even if I really like the movie, it’s rare I plan to see it again. But every once in a while, that special movie comes along and pulls my heartstrings and I know I will watch it over and over

 And this is one of those!   I love comedies, romantic comedies and ones with platonic friendship themes.   Uplifting, inspiring, hopeful movies…<3

 

I hope you all are having a sweet day or night and remember, as Rodney Atkins sings, “If you’re going through hell, keep on going.”.

 

Xox0 Kim <3. ~hugs~. 😀 

If we weren’t all crazy we would go insane

Jul2

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(my dog Koko after she got done eating a vanilla cream horn treat.   she has cream on her little face. Lol silly girl!)

” And I’ll never be the same without you here
I’ll live alone and hide myself behind my tears
And I’ll never be the same without your love
I’ll live alone and try so hard to rise above” ~ Christopher Cross

I’m ready. 

Ready to start laughing again. Those good belly laughs I used to laugh almost constantly every night and day for as long as I can remember. Until my dog died. Three months ago.  

I stopped laughing then. I wouldn’t let myself. When I found something amusing as I usually do I would quickly remind myself, “Wait! You can’t laugh, Koko is dead!”. And I would become somber. Or apathetic. Or grief stricken. Or just stop. And go about my day. Not laughing. 

I wouldn’t really say or think those words but the concept of my sweet dog being dead would creep into my brain destroying any desire I had to laugh, any ounce of amusement I began to experience .

Ever since I was little, in elementary school, probably even before, I have been very easily amused over everything and nothing. I laugh more than anyone I have ever known.

I got in trouble in class often for laughing out loud uncontrollably at kids being bad.

My mom yells at me sometimes for laughing during inappropriate situations like when my dog eats out of the cat’s litter box. Lol

Once, my therapist asked me if it is some sort of coping mechanism or cover up for Anxiety. And my answer is NO. I am genuinely amused.   Just a silly, giggly girl. I usually always find something to laugh about even when I am unhappy or depressed or angry!

There are occasions when I have been super furious at someone but still amused and laughing uncontrollably and I would be so pissed at myself for laughing because who is going to take my anger seriously when I’m laughing my ass off?! Lol 😀

But when Koko died in April I stopped laughing. After a few days I started to smile and laugh a little bit and be slightly amused but those serious belly laughs have been extremely rare.

Grief never goes away. Grief over a human friend or family member or grief over a fur or feather or reptile…… friend dying is forever etched in our hearts.

But for many people it eventually heals to a point where it’s not always raw or always the main feeling everyday. It appears and reappears and on some occasions even decades later, maybe it resurfaces at full force and then subsides again. 

It doesn’t have to hinder or taint happiness.

My grief has for the most part taken the back burner and I can still be happy and I even eventually began feeling mostly like myself again. But still there has been some kind of damper put on this life of mine.

There will always be a part of me missing. Always. My dog wasn’t just my “pet”. She was my friend, my family.

And this death hurts me so much it’s unbelievable.   

But this death is somewhat easier than what many people have to endure with a loss. Koko was old and lived a whole dog life and 12 years with me. And she was not sick, in pain, or suffering when she died. My mom and dad were there with her and watched her take her last breath.

She began to slow down days before her death and her breathing changed and we hoped so desperately that she wouldn’t begin to suffer and that if she must die soon that it would be easy and quick. I couldn’t bear to think of her suffering or being euthanized by an animal doctor as my mom mentioned may have to happen.

 
Some dogs die alone, in pain, lost, young, and abandoned, never knowing true love. Some are so bad off they are euthanized.  

But not Koko. She was loved by us for 12 years. We celebrated her every birthday, bought her gifts every holiday, let her sleep in bed, on the sofa, she had other fur friends. I bought her treats home every night after work. The girl was spoiled!! 😉

And she died old, quickly, and naturally.

And for all of that I am so blessed. Seriously what more can I ask for?!

It does not take away my grief.   But grief should never go away anyway. Grief is part of living and loving and when one life is so impacted by another grief is the result of loss.

A few days ago I began laughing again a lot
 Throughout the day like before. And it has been continuing everyday now.

And I realized I haven’t been my giggly self for so long. I felt different but could not put my finger on it. Then one night I laughed hysterically over song lyrics and realized I haven’t laughed quite like that in ages!

I think after three months my grief is finally beginning to heal more.

It’s important to remember that it’s ok to laugh even when someone else has died or is dying or experiencing tragedy or pain or illness.

I have a tendency to feel guilt laughing when I hear about, see on the news, or know someone who died or is experiencing tragedy.

But me/you/someone  not laughing and intentionally not having fun does not help the tragedy in the world. It just results in another unhappy person or one who is not fully living.

I can laugh. It won’t hurt Koko. If I choose not to laugh, it won’t bring her back. It HURTS to let go. Hurts desperately. But it’s ok.

Just because you laugh doesn’t mean you are cold or don’t care or are forgetting or ignoring the death or pain of others.

You are still living. It’s your life. It’s ok. It’s necessary to move forward.

I never wanted to admit this but a few days after Koko died my pain was so severe I thought I wanted to die too.

I felt nothing but anger every day and pain.
I wasn’t angry at anyone specifically.   There was no one to be angry at.

But now I don’t feel angry. I feel blessed. I am blessed. 

Two nights ago I was looking through older pictures trying to find one of my dog, Isis Summerjo, and I accidentally saw like 100 of Koko in my phone and I felt as if I was suffocating and drowning all over again. 

I have only been able to look at pictures of her and talk about her on certain occasions when I felt enabled to do so. And then I accidentally saw them and I clicked each and every one I saw and looked.  It hurt but I smiled and realized how much stronger I am now.

A brief fleeting thought of me wanting to die ran across my brain. But I told myself.   What good will dying do? Will it bring Koko back? No. Will it end my pain? Yes but it will also end everything else. And I don’t need that.

There is always hope.

My life is more good than pain.

And even when it doesn’t feel that way.

There’s always hope.

I am so skilled now more than ever at being able to see the good amidst the bad. The positive in the negative. The hope in the darkness. The healing in the hurt.

I can even feel happy while depressed.

Also, 

 It’s now July! You know what that means right!? Nine months. I haven’t been suicidal or even thought about it seriously in nine months. That’s the longest I have ever been able to go without those compulsions and thoughts in……FOURTEEN years!!!!!! Fourteen years!!!!!!! In case you don’t know, I wrote about this in previous blog entries here.   I suffer with clinical depression. I have suffered with mental illness since I was eleven years old and at 21 years old I was hospitalized and was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder with Psychotic Features. I was hospitalized again and participate in psychotherapy and drug therapy.  I struggled for years 
and in 2010 I truly started to get better. Four months is the longest I have ever been able to go without being suicidal since I was 13 years old. And usually not even that long.   Until now.  But now I’m back and better than ever! 😀

I changed my ways. My thinking, my attitude, my life.   And I am going strong. I celebrate living everyday.

I hope everyone will find hope and love even in pain and darkness.

I am ready to start laughing again. To start living again.

Xoxo Kim

P.s. Wondering what lyrics and songs are so hilarious?! Lol!   Check these out!!

“My head hurts , my feet stink” by Jimmy Buffett. Just the song title has me rofl

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/jimmy+buffett/my+head+hurts+my+feet+stink+and+i+dont+love+jesus_20267475.html

“Changes In Latitudes, Changes In Attitudes”
Jimmy Buffett
“With these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
With all of my running, and all of my cunning
If I couldn’t laugh I just would go insane
If we couldn’t laugh we just would go insane
If we weren’t all crazy we would go insane”
“

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/jimmy+buffett/changes+in+latitudes+changes+in+attitudes_20071889.html

“Growing older not up”

“I’m growing older but not up
My metabolic rate is pleasantly stuck
Let those winds of time blow over my head
Id rather die while Im living than live while Im dead”
~ Jimmy Buffett 

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/jimmy+buffett/growing+older+but+not+up_20071897.html

“The Asshole song”

“Were you born an asshole 
Or did you work at it your whole life? 
Either way, it worked out fine 
‘Cause you’re an asshole tonight “
~
Jimmy Buffett 

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/j/jimmy+buffett/the+asshole+song_20214732.html

And I hope you find a bit of inspiration in some of these lyrics as well.

Here’s a pic I made using an app, it’s one of those “when you see it” pics. Lol

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Focus on yourself. <3

Jun27

<img src="https://adoseofinspiration.blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/image_20130627_143144.jpg&quot; class="size-full" alt="Focus on yourself.

Forget about being “better” or “worse” than someone else. Put all that energy and all those thoughts and work into evolving yourself and being the best YOU that you can be. You have your own life and they have theirs. Embrace & celebrate you! ❤ 😀

How do you live? <3

Jun27

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” Not how did she die, but how did she live? 

Not what did she gain, but what did she give? 

These are the units to measure the worth 

Of a man as a man, regardless of birth. 

Not, what was her church, nor what was her creed? 

But had she befriended those really in need? 

Was she ever ready, with word of good cheer, 

To bring back a smile, to banish a tear? 

Not what did the sketch in the newspaper say, 

But how many were sorry when she passed away. ”   

~Unknown

I saw this quote in a book and I love it! To me, it rings so true. For many of us, the first thing we think when we hear a person has died, even when we never knew that person is, “How did s/he die!?”. That’s our morbid curiosity. There’s nothing wrong with that. But what’s more important than that is how the person lived. I don’t want to think about or dwell on the tragic or sad circumstances of someone’s death. I want to bask in the wonder, love, beauty, and glory of that person’s life and the imprint the life of that person leaves on this Earth with all of us who still live. Even if I never knew that person, I can still be impacted by the life s/he lived.

Have you ever read an online memorial or an obituary in the newspaper for a person who died? While very sad, it can be quite inspiring. Try reading an obituary or online memorial for a stranger and the comments written by those who are grieving and all those caring people who lavish sympathy on the bereaved and the dead. But instead of letting your morbid curiosity take over searching for clues of the causes of death, focus on the details of how that person lived.

Look at the smile on that person’s face in pictures if you can and feel the words written about the person. Look at how that person touched many, many other lives and made people smile, contributed positively to the community in which s/he lived, embraced family & friends, provided kindness to strangers, made people laugh, loved others
…

This is a great honor to the person and a wonderful gift to the family and friends to have the one they love who is now gone, still affecting the world for the better.

There are so many amazing people, alive and dead. They all deserve to be known, loved, remembered, honored, and acknowledged.  

I saw a blog topic recently “What would you want your obituary to say? “. I haven’t completed this as a blog entry but I thought about the concept.

I wouldn’t want mine to just state how I died, how much money I got for working, and other basic details. I would love for it to describe how I was able to brighten people’s days, make them smile, how I loved animals and people and cared for everyone whether I knew them or not.   And how I would always be aware of the simple joys of living.  I hope that’s how people view me. That’s who I want to be.

Think about how you live. Is it really important how financially rich you are, how many expensive material possessions you have, how many work promotions you achieve, how many school degrees you can obtain, how big your house is, how new your car is, if you have the latest fashion accessories or phone….?

Or does it matter more how you help people, how you listen to people, how you love people, what you contribute to the world around you, how happy you are with the you inside, how living creatures are touched by your life, how full your heart is….?

You may or may not have an advanced school degree or a well respected, good paying job, you may or may not be extremely intelligent, maybe you don’t have much money or a great house or car or anything much but is your heart full of love?   Do your veins throb with life? Do you provide consolation, love, and friendship to those in need?   That’s all that really matters!

It doesn’t matter what your religion is or if you are religious or not. It doesn’t matter what your skin color or sexual  orientation or gender or gender identity is. Your nationality and ethnicity do not matter for how much you are worth. I’m not saying those above things do not matter in certain situations or for how you are treated sometimes, I’m saying they do not make you worth more or worth less. Or worthy or deserving of more or of less.

Think about how you live and how you want to live. And I hope you find deep within you the things you know are important and are able to abandon the things you know are not.

I hope you are having a beautiful night or day wherever you are at this moment.

Xoxo Kim