Tag Archive | kindness

Earth angels <3

Feb12

IMG_14172363_1

The last few days and especially yesterday have been extremely difficult for me. People have been criticizing me in a destructive way saying I have been in a “bad mood” and snippy but they have no idea what is going on in my head. This is more than a bad mood. Each negative, critical thing they say about and to me only serves to cut me deeper. 

I am reminded even more how important  kindness is. It’s good anyway but we don’t always know when someone is suffering and one kind word can be so healing and one vicious word can be so destructive if we let it be. It can contribute to the suffering.

Valentine’s Day was my close friend’s favorite holiday. I love all the candy hearts and roses and pretty stuff in the stores but it was never a big day to me. I never seriously loved it necessarily as a holiday and never dreaded it like many do. It’s just another day, a holiday for commercialism and consumerism but I really don’t care. I think it’s sweet when people like to celebrate it. It was one of Diane’s most special days. And guess what? She was at work (I took off that day for a meditation retreat) last year on that day and her heart just stopped. Forever. 

In almost ten years I never went more than a week without seeing her.

The agony comes in waves. One minute in my head it’s like “I got this, I can handle this” then the very next minute it’s like “Oh wait, no I can’t! I can’t do this” and the wind is knocked out of me then it’s back to “oh yeah I can handle it” on & on. It feels like blades are cutting me up inside. 

At some moments I feel that if it were physical pain, it would feel like an emergency, I would think I’m dying and need an emergency room. But it’s not physical, even though it feels almost physical, and I know what it is. I am not dying. 

I have nothing inspiring to say about it. And I won’t even pretend to always see the light in it.

I saw her son recently and he’s dreading the day. They were very close.

It’s so good to see him. 

My mind is somewhere else these days. In some distant place. I’m very forgetful and can’t concentrate on what is before me. 

Last night I was out shopping and I met a couple Earth angels.

I saw this little lady pushing a shopping cart and I felt drawn to her for some reason. She had a big smile on her face and I wanted to say hello. So I walked closer to her and smiled and looked her in the eyes but I quickly looked down because I was overcome in shyness and then felt kind of embarrassed for approaching her because she doesn’t know me but she said very cheerfully “hello, how are you?” like it’s the most natural, expected thing to have a stranger approach just to be friendly, and her smile was brighter still and a spark lit up her eyes. I felt so healed. So comforted. What a beautiful reminder that people are often more receptive than we may think they are. So many are ready to connect with each other, even “strangers” if only we reach out. And even if they aren’t receptive, so what?! I’m so happy I found those few seconds of courage to initiate contact! 😀 ❤

Thank you, lovely little lady. ❤

Another lady, who works in the store, saw me carrying cat food and told me it's on sale tomorrow in case I want to put it back until then but I needed it then because we're all out! But I deeply appreciate her kindness. I did not get a shopping cart and was by myself and later I was having difficulty carrying all the stuff to the register and she saw me and helped me! Again, another act of kindness! So sweet! ❤

I saw a little girl and her dad shopping as well and her dad was carrying a big bag of dog food and telling her, "this is your dinner tonight" and she burst out laughing saying "no daddy, that's dog food!" and he was laughing and said "nope, it's your dinner" and the little girl laughed harder. It seriously brightened my whole night and I couldn't help but smile and giggle myself. Even now as I write this. Sometimes just being our own self can inspire and uplift someone. 😀

Today I also encountered a few Earth angels.

Today, walking to work, I saw a delivery man and he said hello to me and told me to have a great day! How can I not now?! ;-D

I also saw one of my customers on the street and it's so sweet getting to talk to her! 

When I got to work my boss' mom was there, she's 80 something years old, and she was talking to a bunch of men and said very loudly "money talks & bullshit walks! No truer words were ever spoken!" lol It's so funny!

So many sweet people all around! I just love them!! ❤

These Earth angels remind me to be the best me I can be for others, we never know who we may be touching or how deeply with just being us and doing simple acts of kindness. ❤

Also I'm reminded that if we truly look and remain open, we will see Earth angels everywhere around us. Everywhere. 

I haven't been being my most loving self. I have been very pissed and devastated and that's ok but I'm reminded to not let those overwhelming emotions conquer me into being bitter and unkind and to instead allow my usual compassionate, loving self to prevail. ❤

Look what I found!

IMG_14172359_1

IMG_14172360_1

Yum! :-p 😀 Just for me!

I’m still happy and still find things to laugh hysterically about everyday! I love being easily amused! 😀

"Money talks
But it don't sing and dance
And it don't walk
And long as I can have you
Here with me, I'd much rather be
Forever in blue jeans"

mobile:

desktop:

"Honey's sweet
But it ain't nothin' next to baby's treat
And if you pardon me
I'd like to say
We'll do okay
Forever in blue jeans"

Lol

~Hugs~

Much love & light, always. ❤ ❤ 

xoxo Kim

Touch <3

Feb11

1455229718886eSmart_5___fancy27

“But when your love light shines upon my face
I’m in a different world
A world so warm and sweet
I’m in a different world
Now that you’ve been loving me
I’m in a different world” ~ the four tops

Dr. Leo Buscaglia (1924 – 1998 ) professor, author, and extremely loving man is one of my greatest inspirations! He is very compassionate and very humble. Unfortunately he died in 1998 at age 75 years old of a heart attack. But his love and light live on. I lost my good friend/coworker that way, another beautiful, loving person, and now whenever I hear of someone dying that way, someone I know or not, it’s like a punch in the gut. 

In the book “Living, Loving, & Learning,” a collection of lectures by Dr. Buscaglia, he writes of an experience he had with a young college student of his.

I am going to share it here. 

Caution: This may be a trigger for people who have some experience with depression/suicidal urges or thoughts. I have severe depression and frequent suicidal thoughts and sometimes urges and not always but often, reading/hearing about a suicide attempt or anything about suicide, whether it’s real or fiction, can be a serious trigger for me even when I’m not currently depressed or suicidal. 

So this is a warning that what I’m sharing here may be a trigger in case you want to click it off.  

Dr. Buscaglia writes:

“In my first year at USC I was teaching a class. It’s an amazing thing- I imagine you feel the same thing I do- but you pick up vibrations from your audience. Things happen between you and your audience if you are talking to them and not at them. It would be marvelous if we could ever have a small group to sit down and really talk and relate instead of always these massive things. But nevertheless, you know that there are certain faces in an audience that come out, certain bodies that vibrate. They reach you and you reach them.
Every once in a while, when you need support, you focus on them and receive a smile that says ‘Go on man, you’re doing fine.’ Then you can do all kinds of things. Well, I had such a person in this class, a beautiful young girl. She was always about the sixth row back and she’d sit there nodding. When I’d say something, she’d say, ‘Oh, yes!’ You could hear her say ‘Wow,’ and then she’d write things down, and I’d think, ‘Oh, I’m really communicating with her – something beautiful is happening between us; it’s going to be good; she’s learning,’ etc. Then one day she stopped coming. I couldn’t imagine what had happened and I kept looking for her but she wasn’t there. Finally, I checked with the Dean of Women and she said, ‘Haven’t you heard?’…this young lady whose papers were absolutely brilliant, whose mind was exciting, who had a creativity like you never dreamed…had gone to Pacific Palisades, an area where sheer cliffs fall into the sea. She parked her car, walked out, jumped off that cliff and splattered herself on the rocks below. It bothers me still and I thought to myself – what are we doing stuffing facts at people and forgetting that they are people, that they are human beings?” (pp. 5-6) 

As heartbreaking as this story is, it’s a great reminder that we can be lovingly touching the life of someone we hardly know or do not even realize exists or don’t realize how we positively impact that person. This beautiful young girl was inspiring her professor and had no idea! He looked to her for inspiration, support, beauty….without her ever knowing. He was touched by her life and presence even years later. Even after she stopped coming to class, he remembered her and actually went to look for her. She probably had no clue her smile brightened his day and her positive gestures  kept him going strong, feeling as if he was really reaching people. Even though he was a very educated and confident man with an amazing career and great success, once in a while he still appreciated feedback that what he was doing was reaching someone and touching others for the better. And this girl was clearly touched by him as evidenced by her reactions in class. And she confirmed for him that he was touching lives for the better. Even though she killed herself intentionally, it doesn’t mean she wasn’t touched by her professor and others. We can love and appreciate others and what they do for us but still be suicidal. 

Both the professor and his student brightened each other’s days and loved each other without communicating directly, verbally, for the most part. They felt a connection to one another, connected through smiles, eye contact, positive reinforcement. 

Unfortunately the young girl felt that she just couldn’t go on living. I have so much love and anguish for her and all those affected by that tragic loss. This was decades ago but I am certain there are people still affected by her death. Whether friends and family still alive, others who knew her, or just readers of Dr. Buscaglia and others who just heard of her suicide. How traumatic.

This reminds me of my own experience. When I was in college, I was involuntarily hospitalized for depression when I planned to kill myself. I told a couple doctors I was going to kill myself very soon, I even knew the day and method, when I would be in my house alone with access to the thing I was going to use as a weapon against myself, but I tried to “take it back” after I said it because I had to be hospitalized. I only wanted to relieve my pain some until I got to kill myself. I did not want help. But it turns out after we confess we actually have a thorough plan to attempt to kill our self, we can’t take that back. I wasn’t cooperative and refused to sign myself in so the psychiatrist signed a 302 paper for me and I had to go to the court of mental health where they decided I had to be hospitalized even longer. 
And I couldn’t come to class for a few weeks at the end of the semester. My one professor, Dr. M, for one of my psychology classes who I also had class with another semester before that, noticed I wasn’t in class for a while. After I got out of the hospital, I saw an e-mail he sent me asking if everything is ok and said he was concerned because I never missed class and now missed weeks. 
I found so much love and consolation in his choice to reach out to me just to check and make sure everything was ok. I told him my situation and he was extremely caring about it and helped me tremendously. He even went out of his way to make it so I wouldn’t have to take our final exam or come back to class since it was about to end anyway and I was a wreck.
Lol I will never forget the love he showed to me. To this day I am still deeply touched. 

Through this story I am reminded and want to remind others how one life can touch many, many others for the better even without the person realizing. Your life can be impacting someone in ways you can never even imagine. It may be an employee at a store you visit, the homeless person on the corner, a person you see at a busstop, your coworker you rarely talk to, a neighbor, a receptionist or doctor or nurse at a doctor’s office, your teacher or professor, a person you just say a quick hello to and go about your day…..or maybe you are one of the people above, maybe you’re the person at the busstop inspiring someone, the receptionist, the homeless person, the doctor, the teacher or professor and you have no idea the impact you have on someone you may not even know. 

I think it’s worth staying alive even if just to keep on loving everyone around us in various ways even if it’s just a warm smile as we’re walking by. 

It’s good for all of us, suicidal/depressed or not, to be mindful of the impact we have on those around us and try to make it as loving as possible. Love isn’t just a warm affection for those we know(though it can be); it’s an action, a verb, an expression, wishing others the best, even if we don’t know them. Reaching out to help, inspire, uplift….is reaching out in love. ❤ ❤

😀

I strongly recommend Dr. Leo Buscaglia's work to everyone. He's one of the most loving people you can ever come across. He's no longer living on Earth with us but his lovelight lives on and on. His essence still lights the world and always will.

As the saying goes, love is how we stay alive even after we are long gone.

“You’re more than a love to me
You’re my way of life
I’ll forever cherish you
More each day and night” ❤

mobile:

desktop:

http://www.buscaglia.com/biography

Love & light to you,

Xoxo Kim 

Kindness <3

Feb4

IMG_14171188(1)


“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

Tonight in Buddhist class we were reminded to each day, do as many kind acts as possible or at least just one kind act no matter how small or simple it seems.

Even the simplest, most brief act of kindness is never in vain, even if it seems to go unnoticed or not be appreciated. It generates positive energy, inprints our minds in a positive way, and can touch someone tremendously. Performing just one act of kindness is like planting positive seeds. And one negative act is like planting negative seeds. Our actions, speech, and thoughts will blossom later whether they are positive or negative.

The Buddhist people call it karma but it can apply even to non-spiritual people in this sense. We know our actions, thoughts, and speech have consequences even if not immediately.

We are encouraged to act in love, not just to gain something for ourself. To genuinely be selfless.

A couple suggestions in class tonight they gave us are:

Feed the birds & squirrels, and other outside animals. We may not have a lot to give but maybe we can find a few strips of bread or seeds to feed them.

Encourage those around us with positive messages. Compliment people genuinely.

Smile at people.

Show love & compassion to our pets.

Not sending rude messages to or about people even if we feel they deserve it and not talking trash to or about people in person. Sometimes love is holding our tongues when we want to spew negativity. Sometimes love is saying nothing. I definitely can use this reminder! lol I’m generally kind & compassionate but sometimes I tend to talk shit if I don’t like something someone does. But all that does is perpetuate and generate toxic energy.

No act of kindness is ever wasted or too small or in vain.

These are some great reminders!
What a very practical class!

❤ 😀

Much love to you,

xoxo Kim

Everything & Everyone <3

Jan27

IMG_14172156(1)_1

“If we could see everything and everyone as beautiful we would not develop anger or jealousy but would feel affectionate love for all living beings.” ~ Geshe Kelsang Gyatso

Let’s focus on the good in each other & our own self & everything around us and get our minds in the habit of loving.

20160127152055

“You’re my life,
You’re my breath,
You’re a smile
You’re my guest
You’re the earth
You’re the sun
You’re the grass
You are love
You’re my hands
You’re a bug
You’re my eyes
You’re a hug
You’re the light
In the dark
You’re the spark
You are fun
You’re my mom
You are water
You’re the stars
You’re my daughter
Your my friend
Till the end 
You’re my dreams
You’re my father
You’re the ants on the ground
The miracles that surround
I’m feelin’ it all around
The hemisphere and the clouds
You’re my pain you’re my sorrow
You’re my hope for tomorrow
You’re the strength when I’m hollow
You’re the path that I follow
You’re the blessings that exist
The small things that are bliss
The gift to realize that
Everything is a gift.”~ Nimo Patel – Empty Hands

mobile:

desktop:

This is a most beautiful song. It’s called Grateful and is a musical love song to the world. The whole world, everyone & everything. Friends, family, strangers, insects, clouds, the beauty all around….all encompassing love. ❤

"All that I am
All that I see
All that I've been and all that I'll ever be
Is a blessing
Its so amazing
And I’m grateful for it all, for it all" ~ Nimo

20160127134034

It’s true, everything is a gift. I love the feeling of Oneness. To feel like everyone I encounter is family or can be. To feel connected to the sky, the trees and flowers, the buildings and the air, myself dissolves into the Oneness and it’s a true gift.

❤

I'm wishing you much love & light today & always!!

😀 ❤

xoxo Kim

Ordinary Angels <3

Jan16

IMG_14164509

(a “stranger” & me hugging outside Love park in Philadelphia last may – What a wonderful world! My mom took the picture. <3)

“It could be someone walking down the street
A stranger on a bus
A little kid on his way to school or any one of us
We all got a little superman ready to take a fly
And save a life ohh save a life
Take a look around and you’ll see ordinary angels”

Today I encountered a couple ordinary angels walking to work. And I told a complete "stranger" "I love you!" 

A man walked up to me and asked me to buy him a banana split. He seems like he may be homeless and definitely struggling financially. At first I suspected it was a joke. I work at a store where we make banana splits. And occasionally my customers who see me on the streets or in other stores come over and playfully say give me a banana split or milkshake or sundae, just as a joke. I can't even count how many occasions I hear someone yelling across a store or up the street "Hey, it's the ice cream/banana split girl!" lol That's one of the many, many pleasures of working at a store where we serve something as joyous as ice cream! People automatically associate me with joy! ;-D

I did not recognize this man but it was possible he was at one point my customer and was joking. But I quickly realized he was serious. He wanted a banana split at the store Cold Stone. Unfortunately I did not have enough money to buy him one.

I did have enough to buy him coffee though. But he said no he already had coffee and donuts and he pointed to the trash can where he set his coffee and donuts. Some sweet souls already bought him it! It warmed me to see how sweet many people are to buy a person they don't know personally, coffee and donuts.

So I asked him if he would like something else in dunkin donuts, not Cold Stone because I physically did not have the money. I wish I did and would have gladly bought him a banana split and whatever else he wanted. But he said "no just give me whatever you got and I'll save up for my banana split!" lol Now that may seem kind of rude when I write it out like that but he wasn't rude. He was very friendly and told me he loves me! I know he was serious and I told him I love you back.

Now, people may be confused and think how can two perfect "strangers" love each other. Through the years on various occasions I heard my mom & dad ask “How can someone love a stranger?” when they would hear someone express love to a person not personally known to that person. My dad has a sweet & very loving old lady friend who tells everyone “I love you” and she has that as her voicemail at the end. My dad always said how can she love people she does not know. One day on tv my mom & me watched Ellen Degeneres (sp?) say “I love you” to a fan who said it to her first. My mom said the fan can love Ellen but how can Ellen love a person she does not know. But it's easy! There are different kinds of love and different ways to love. Most people probably aren't going to love a person they met two seconds ago the same way they love family & friends and others they know. But they can still love.

Love can be a warm affection, a verb or action, or just a genuine wish for someone else to be happy. When we reach out to help, heal, lift, inspire another, we reach out in love. ❤

IMG_14171801

“The world can make you feel so small
Steal your dreams and make you crawl
And break you till you got you got nothing at all
When your in that dark place and you need that embrace
You know love is never too far away”

I put "strangers" in quotations because the longer I live and the deeper I meditate and the more I practice universal love, I realize there are no strangers. We all know each other and we are all One. We all have a basic wish to be happy and free of suffering. We all have desires, needs, longings, fears, dreams or goals, an aversion to suffering, we all lose things and all experience joy, suffering, happiness, heartache…we are all susceptible to tragedy and death and all have the boundless capacity to love & to give.

Think of your pain, your love, your joy, your sorrow, your hope, your tears & laughter & loneliness, your gratitude, your embarrassment, your anger, your patience and impatience, your restlessness and sense of victory, your sense of belonging and togetherness and family, your fears & grief & dreams, your will to live, and know each one you look at and each one you touch, and not just humans, has those experiences too. I already know so much about you, who are reading this, without knowing who you are. 

IMG_14171802_1_1

One of my favorite books. I carry it everywhere with me.

~Our capacity to love is a currency that just never runs out~

Isn’t it truly amazing how love really cannot run out? There’s enough for everyone! Always! Unlike money and other material things, love cannot be used up. We can give & give & give and not only does it not run out, it increases! The more we love, the more we feel love! ❤

While this encounter with the needy man was going on, I noticed another man through the window of dunkin donuts carefully watching me, even leaning over his table to watch out the window.

Then he later approached me and told me to be careful. He said there are people out there who ask us for money or try to talk to us 
and when we least expect it, put their hands in our bag and carry off with our stuff! It never even occurred to me!

I walk around with my shoulder bag wide open with all my stuff just scattered in it. This man, another, "stranger" was very concerned. 

The man asked him for a banana split too but he said no he hardly has money for himself. But he expressed compassion for the man and said he's sorry he is struggling with destitution. 

I greatly appreciate his concern. The man who wanted a banana split did not seem at all suspicious and I think he truly just wanted a banana split. And he did not try to go anywhere near my bag. I'm extremely trusting often to the point I have done very stupid things and been called stupid by others.

It's a great reminder to be careful. The people who may put their hands in our bags are not necessarily horrible people, just desperate. They may be genuinely friendly but it doesn't mean they won't take our stuff necessarily.

Not all desperate people would do that but many do.

So it's great to be cautious along with compassionate.

When I was leaving the store, a friendly (at least to me) man was holding the door for me and said hello sweetheart when the man who wanted the banana split approached him and the man holding the door yelled "I ain't got two fucking cents!" I couldn't help but laugh.

And I understand his frustration. I never get angry at people asking me for money or stuff but I know just what it's like to not even have "two fucking cents" for myself!

As I was leaving the man who wanted the banana split said "goodbye love, have a great day!" and again, I could tell he truly meant it. 

Even though he is destitute in a financial & material way, I see he is rich in love. He was nothing but friendly, even to the people who weren't friendly to him. I hope he gets his banana split soon! 

I love sharing stories of acts of kindness & love whether they are ones I'm involved in, witness, or even just read or hear. Reading/hearing someone else's story of kindness can brighten our own day and inspire us to act in compassionate ways.

Every now and again I make a list of my ordinary angels and share them here with this beautiful song. I don't think there has ever been a song truer than this. Any one of us can be someone's ordinary angel today. 

“It could be a waitress at coffee shop you never saw before
A soldier thats just coming home from fighting in the war
We all got a little superman ready to take a fly
And save a life ohh save a life
Take a look around and you’ll see ordinary angels”

“Ordinary Angels” sung by Craig Morgan 
Mobile:

Desktop: 

It's a country song which I know many people don't like but even if you don't like the tune or style, you will probably love the message! Country music is my favorite! Especially inspirational country music!  😀

“Everyone can be great because everyone can serve.”

Much love & light, ❤ 

Hugs to you and always remember, I love you!!! ❤

Xoxo Kim 

Like a candle <3

Dec25

20151223191848

“You are like a candle. Imagine you are sending light out all around you. All your words, thoughts and actions are going in many directions. If you say something kind, your kind words go in many directions, and you yourself go with them. We are …transforming and continuing in a different form at every moment.” ~ Thích Nhất Hạnh

❤ We transform the world with our compassion. ❤

😀

Love & ligt to you!

xoxo Kim

Kindness <3

Dec6

AIR_20151204_00000

(I made this! Isn’t it pretty?! Lol It’s a picture of a container of vanilla frosting with confetti pieces in it! Perfect for the quote, don’t you think? I wasn’t baking a cake! I ate this whole thing right out of the container! In one night! I do that lots of days! My favorite is buttercream! And I put bokeh effects on it.)

Any act of kindness is never really small, no matter how simple. In the moments the person is receiving that kindness, and even years later in memory, it can really uplift, help heal, and inspire someone. And even if someone is not thankful for our kindness, it’s ok! We are still putting loving energy out into the world and planting seeds of love, strengthening our own kind way of life. And it’s not about being appreciated, it’s about truly wanting to help.  

Recently I was struggling to carry stuff at work. Things were almost falling. My arms were so full. My boss’ mom helped me. She’s a sweet little lady around 80 years old and is the cutest thing! Her name is Dolores and she wears little pink pj’s in the summer and reminds me of a baby doll! Lol She still drives and walks and gets around so well! She wears makeup sometimes and gets dressed up. And she still has good vision! Probably better than mine!  
Her car looks very old fashioned like something out of a movie! 

You definitely don’t want to get on her bad side because as little and sweet as she is, she will have no problem telling you off! And that’s scary! Lol

I would know. I have been a victim of her wrath on more than one occasion!

I remember one day years ago, shortly after I met her, she thought I lost grocery store coupons (I don’t know if it was really me who lost them!) and she was yelling there’s going to be hell to pay! Lmao I remember telling my coworker later and we both burst out laughing about this little old lady fuming over store coupons. I still laugh hysterically when I remember that!  

;-D

Anyway, she helped me and I am so incredibly thankful! I couldn’t have gotten out the door with all that stuff without her helping me along with another sweet lady, Margie, I know at work! 

I like to remember and honor all acts of kindness I receive (which is too many to always remember!) even if just in my own head. It’s great to forget what good we do for others but always remember what others do for us! 

“Blessed are those who can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.”

Each act of kindness is timeless, even years later it can still have an effect on those who witness and receive. It’s not just about the practical help but just the fact that someone cares to help is sweet. So let’s scatter some kindness around everyplace we go! 

I would like to encourage everyone to savor each kind thing someone does for us and always remember it if it feels the world has grown cold. Each simple act of kindness can warm up any cold moments. There’s so much more goodness & love than negativity within and around us, we just have to look and summon it when it feels like there’s more bad than good. 

Let’s focus more on the love! 

❤ 😀

Much love to you!  

Xoxo Kim 

Uniformly Considerate

Dec4

IMG_14170726

“The habit of being uniformly considerate toward others will bring increased happiness to you.” ~ Grenville Kleiser

😀

I agree with this. I think it’s important to be mindful of others and how our words/actions may affect them, not just for what we get out of it but because it can help them be happier and put more love out into the world. ❤

It's a great reminder that I think most of us can use sometimes. It can be tempting to be thoughtless or rude on occasion, especially when other people are unpleasant first.

I found this quote in the book on my Kindle app, "Happiness 365." It's a whole book full of happy quotes!

Also, I love it because the authors dedicate their book to us & our happiness.

IMG_14170725

I love when an author dedicates a book to people in general or certain people they don’t even know! ❤

Much love & happiness to you!

😀 ❤

xoxo Kim